I have been informed that it would be a good idea to state a few warning comments. There may be graphic sexual scenes between men in this story, so please, if this offends you, or it is illegal or you are underaged to read such, stop here and hit your "back" button. If it is okay with you, read on and enjoy.
From Ch. 12:
"Well," then he looked a little uneasy, "I - uh - couldn't understand what you were saying, but I thought I heard - MY name - in there somewhere." Richard said.
I almost whispered, "You were."
"How did I fit in?"
"In the front." I said, barely audible.
"Huh?"
"At the end!" I said, my voice had returned. "It wasn't Craig making love to me - it was you!" My face was burning and my hands were tingling!
He started, "O -" now it was Richard who lost his voice! " ahem! Oh!" he whispered hoarsely.
We sat there in embarrassed silence for a good minute. Finally he found his voice again. "Ahem! Well! if there is nothing else, and you feel okay, I better get on with my rounds, huh?" He looked like he wanted to say more, but thought better of it.
"Guess so! See yah, Doc!"
Chapter 13
"Did you have a nice chat with Dr. Starr, Dear?" My mom was clearly patronizing me!
"Well, he knows I have had fantasies about him, if that's what you mean." I didn't care that she knew.
"What was his reaction?"
"I couldn't tell. He seemed kind of uncomfortable."
"You'd think he would be used to it by now. Especially with his looks! But maybe that is something one never really can be prepared for. Rob called while Dr. Starr was with you, but I asked him to call back.
"MOM!"
"I didn't think you would want your session with Dr. Starr interrupted."
"That's what they are, now - `sessions'?"
"He IS a shrink, baby!"
"Yeah, I know.
"And you have had a lot going on emotionally."
"I know that too."
Bbbrrring!
"I'll bet that's him!" she said
"Hello?"
"Hey, Chris! Oh gosh, it's so great to hear your voice!"
"So you're in Cincinnati!"
"Yeah."
"Man, I don't know what to say."
"Wouldn't you have done it for me?"
"Well - yeah, but I couldn't have afforded to do it in the style that -"
"Wouldn't you have done it for me?" he repeated.
"Thanks, I guess, is all I can say. Have you found him?"
"Well, I knew that I would NOT be welcome at his parents' home, so at first I did some amateur detective work. I put his place under surveillance. He is not there!"
"What? But where -?"
"Finally, I went to the door and lied about being a friend from high school. Luckily his mom didn't ask any further questions! He went to Wisconsin to visit a cousin. I didn't want to raise suspicion by inquiring any further, so I am waiting. She said he would be back in a day or so. Wanted my name and number, so I gave it to her and the number of my hotel. I hope he calls, after hearing my name."
"Rob, you have no idea how much this means to me!"
"I think I do! You said "thanks" is all you could say. How about, `I love you'."
"Dude, I didn't mean -"
"All I wanted you to know is I love you, Chris! Don't worry about it."
"Well, okay. You know I love you too, Rob!"
"Yeah, I know it! Well, I'll do my best to find and talk to Craig. Say hi to Al for me if she comes by."
"Wait a minute! Haven't you called her? You should call her."
"Man, We're not married - or even going steady, for that matter. For now, just let me say that - um - well, YOU are the one I miss the most! I love you! Bye!"
"I love -" CLICK! He hung up before I could respond. I was so confused. I think the medication was having its effect. I had - crushes - on three men. I really felt like I loved them all. Was I misunderstanding Rob? Did he really mean that he missed me more than he missed Al?
Two days went by with no word from Rob. Richard came by to tell me he thought I was ready to leave, and had talked to my physician. I was to be released the next morning. He brought someone with him.
"Chris, I want you to meet Steve."
Steve was an older guy, probably in his late 40's. He looked prematurely gray, and looked like he was a god in a former life. His hair still showed some signs of the former dark brown of his youth. He was trim, but not buff - kind of like Richard, but with a small middle aged paunch, which could have been reduced with a few sit ups. He was a few inches shorter than Richard. Richard treated him almost - reverently was all I could come up with.
"Hi, Steve." I looked questioningly to Richard.
"Steve is my partner, Chris. I didn't want to - er - give any false impression."
"Ah!" I giggled. "Well, I WAS wondering."
"I thought you may have been. The medication can make things quite confusing at times. A graphic demonstration is often all it takes."
"Thanks, Doc! Now I only have two to deal with!"
"Two?"
"You know about Craig.
"Yeah."
"Well you also know about Rob."
"Rob? Of course, but - well, I will also be tapering you off the medication. That will help your reality state."
"So you think that -"
"I don't want to jump to any conclusions, Chris. Lets just take things as they develop, K?"
"Okay, Doc."
"See you in about a week. I have given the nurse your prescription with the tapering off instructions."
"K. Bye. Nice to meet you, Steve." They walked out.
Well the good news, at least for that time, was that because of the medication, I really was hardly phased by that whole incident. Later, it all seemed so silly to me! Dreams and fantasies are so little like real life!
I was tapering off the medication, and at the same time trying to catch up on my studies. I missed a lot during my time in the hospital. It was only a week and a half, but it seemed like an eternity while it was happening. I was worried, because I had heard nothing from Rob for 3 more days. I had just come home from classes, the third day. I was down to half on my prescription, so things were somewhat clearer to me. I looked back on my infatuation with Richard as if it was a dream. I had just taken a pee, and washed up. I sat down on my bed, and was dreading another non-stop night of marathon studying, when a short couple raps at the door, and Rob was there smiling down on me. I flew off the bed, and my arms were around his neck.
"GOD, it's so good to see you, Rob!"
"It's good to see you too, Chris." He sounded tired, or something.
"I have a surprise for you." He said, and before I could respond, he opened the door. There stood Craig, head down, eyes looking for some kind of acceptance - or rebuke - I couldn't tell. I fairly pushed Rob out of the way to get to him. I engulfed him in my arms. I was crying. He was too.
"Chris, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Was all he could get out, before he broke into great sobs. "I - I - need - to (huge swallow and sigh) explain."
"Not right now." I couldn't think straight to say what I wanted. I'm not sure if I could have, even if I have not been medicated. "Not right now." I looked over my shoulder. We had turned 180 degrees and I saw Rob looking pleased and kind of - was I imagining he looked sad, maybe? One thing I was sure of. I finally was sure that the only one I was in love with was Craig.
I whispered in his ear, "Let's get Rob between us." We simultaneously broke our hug and quickly wrapped Rob's big body between us, my face on his chest and Craig's on his back. I looked up into Rob's eyes. He kissed me on the nose.
"This is all I needed, Chris - all I needed. You are my brother - for life!" I knew he could feel my wood between his legs, but I knew he didn't care. He was not in that condition -and I didn't care! Well, that may have been the medication!
"Chris - I don't know how to begin," Craig began, "I can't stay here until next semester. I can't go home. My dad has disowned me, and -"
"Omigod, Craig - NO!"
"So anyway, I need to get a job and a place to stay - close by, but just not here in the dorms. They are at such a premium, and there is always a waiting list. Someone else will need to be in here. I can't stay, not being a current student."
Rob spoke up: "Well, you're staying here tonight! Tomorrow we will go looking for a place for the three of us!"
"Rob, you don't have to -" I started.
"Of course I don't have to! I WANT to!" Craig and I looked at each other. "OH!" Rob said! "You guys probably want some privacy!" He looked absolutely crestfallen.
"No, Rob! We -" I stole a quick glance at Craig. He nodded. "We want you to room with us!"
"I know you love me as much as I love you," Rob said, "but that would be no good. No arguments! Couples need their privacy." Well, he was right about that. But I really felt bad for him. I could see no solution. Which is why I am not rich and Rob is. You have to be open to the possibilities the universe can offer up.
"Okay! Here's the deal!" Rob said. I never saw him this assertive. He was in his magnificence. "Tomorrow we will look for a house! My mom hated me being in a dorm `with all the riff-raff', anyway. So we will find a house with 2 or 3 bedrooms. You two can pay - whatever you would have to pay for a room somewhere else. I - or my parents - can pay the rest."
"O, God, Rob," Craig said, "We will never be able to repay you."
"You really feel that way, after all we have been through together?"
"Yeah!" we both enjoined.
"Okay, here's what I want." he said. "One night."
"What?" We said in unison.
Rob looked directly at Craig and said, "I get him tonight. Then after that, he is yours."
"You mean," Craig said, "you want to -"
"Sleep with me!?" I exclaimed
"Yup!" he said a huge grin on his face.
"How about all three of us?" Craig said.
"See how hard it will be?" Rob said. "But it will be worth everything to me!"
"You're crazy!" I said
"We'll se if you feel that way in the morning." He answered. "For now I am going to go out and get a bite. I feel a little weak. And when I get back, I want Chris all to myself. And you are not to touch each other while I'm gone. I want a "virgin Chris" for this one night!" He was all grins. Both Craig and I wondered what he had up his sleeve.
He went out for a couple hours. Craig was asleep and I was studying when he got back. Craig was unusually quiet, notwithstanding I had to study. When Rob got back, I was not finished, but then I could have studied all night and would still not have been finished. "Ready for bed?" Rob said, cheerily.
"Ready as I'll ever be!" I said, resignedly.
He got undressed except for his boxers. I was already in mine. He threw back the covers, and with a sweep of his hand invited me to get in first. Then he flipped off the light and climbed in behind me. He wrapped his body around me. I felt so electrified, with his bare skin on mine. His left arm was under my pillow, under my neck. His huge right arm was around my waist, and his hand was firmly on my chest. He was breathing heavy on my neck. I snuggled back as close as I possibly could. I felt enveloped in his love.
"Did you," Craig started, "Did you want me to," his voiced cracked, "go down and - sleep - in the common tonight?"
Rob swept away the covers, and in the dim light coming through the window, I saw him crawl over to Craig's bed. Kneeling on the floor, he put his arm around Craig, and laid his head on his pillow. "Craig, I'm sorry," he said, "if I gave you the wrong impression. I love you both so much. I just feel - Chris is like my brother that I never had. I just want to have this one night with him. No, you don't have to leave. I don't want you to. But just this one night, I want to hold my brother. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah." Craig said, hoarsely. I heard Rob kiss Craig on the cheek. Then he came back and repositioned himself as before.
We slept all night like that. I woke up once with a raging pee woody, but there was no way I was going to break this spell. I willed myself back to sleep. When I woke up, I was facing Rob, his arms still around me. He was still very much asleep. Again, my pee woody was raging, only now it was pressing hard between Rob's legs. I didn't want to wake Rob, so I didn't move a muscle. I looked over him and Craig was sitting on the floor, smiling up at me, nothing but love coming out from his eyes. Rob woke up and giggled as he actually pushed my hardness away from him, and turned on his back. I hugged him and said, "Morning, sweet brother!"
Craig said, "Are you ready to hear my excuses?"
"It's not really important to me, but if it will make you feel better, okay.
But first, let me tell you how I think it prolly went, and if you think it needs more or correction, let me know - K?"
Craig just shrugged and raised his hands and shoulders.
"The day I went storming out, I got dressed in the common, then ran as fast as I could. I collapsed and fell asleep with not enough covering me. In the mean time, somehow Gunt found out we had spat and came in his charm - yeah he can be quite charming when he wants to be - and comisserated with you. He flattered you and before you knew it, he was giving you his sympathy and asking for yours?" I waited for comment.
"Boy, you know him pretty well. Rob was gone to class -"
"So he took advantage of your poor emotional state and 'gave you comfort'. And you were returning that 'comfort' when I walked in. After which I took off again and I ran to the other end of the track and collapsed, where you fouind me. But - why did you go back to Cincinnati?"
"I just could not justify what I did, in your mind. There was no way I could see you forgiving me. I understood what Gunther had done when I saw the totally eveil look he gave you when you - caught us. His parting words to me were, 'Have fun trying to explain this to your fucking fairy friend, pussy boy!' Boy that guy is evil! And yet, I know that all of the hurt he was displaying was not pretend. He is one unhappy boy! I feel sorry for him. I also was having a very hard time justifying being - not totally straight!"
"I love you so much!"
"Chris?"
Yeah?"
"I love you too! I still am having a difficult time rectifying it in my mind, but I know how I feel! I love you!"
Chapter Notes: All I can say here is, love has many faces. As usual, if there are comments, address them to s4d@hotmail.com. Be sure to include "Chris" in the subject box.
Love, Steve