This is my first story (of this kind, anyway), so don't judge me too harshly - I have religious bigots to do that. I want to say two things: I know the plot of the story isn't terribly realistic. I know reality is much harder to deal with, but when I wrote I just went with the flow. The purpose was to write a romantic story. Whether I've succeeded or not I hope you'll let me know (hint hint). Secondly, this story isn't based on personal experience - sorry, Freudians! It was conceived by the sick mind that is mine. On the other hand we've all tried either bullying someone or being bullied when we were kids, so it's not that far away. If the reactionary right thinks you're too young you shouldn't read this. Also, if by some stroke of misfortune you were born to live somewhere where it's illegal to do so, don't. (I managed to type this without cracking up or vomiting. I think congratulations are in order). Oh yeah: Patience. The story starts out a bit slow, but everything comes to he who waits.
The Cherry Trees
by Attemptatinger
Chapter 1:
Neil's thoughts were far away. As usual his sister was yammering away about her friends and her classmates. Somehow she thought everybody needed to know everything about everybody. Nothing was too insignificant for Sarah's dinnertable tales. And the worst part was his parents always seemed to be interested. "...and that's because Tommy was in hospital like I said...blah blah blah..." "Tommy McGann? Isn't he the one you all used to play with Neil?" his mother asked. Of course she knew he was. It was just her usual attempt to drag Neil into the conversation. "Huh? Oh, yeah, but he was a sissy," Neil said dismissively. Tommy McGann was something he definitely didn't want to talk about. He'd tried hard to forget him for many years. "He's not a sissy!" Sarah said heatedly. "Uh-oh," Neil's father laughed. "Do you have the hots for him, Sarah?" "I do not have 'the hots' for him! He's just...nice." She rolled her eyes, blushing. "Yeah right! How can you fall for a guy like that? He's a wimp," Neil said, because he had to be, right? Otherwise there's no justification for all that - unhg, stop thinking about it! "Stop teasing your sister, Neil-" "He's not a wimp! Just because you were all mean to him doesn't mean he's a wimp!" Sarah rushed up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door behind her. "Seems doing the dishes is down to you, Neily boy," his father laughed. "Serves you right."
Neil drifted away. The show he was watching was crap anyway. He thought about when they were all children, Archie, Jeremy, Danny, Jay and all the others. They all lived close to each other in the same semi-rural suburban area and had practically grown up together. They had gone to the same school although not always in the same class. It had been pretty great, and Neil was always the leader. He still was. It was only natural; after all, he was the oldest, the tallest (well except Archie) and the best looking of them all. He knew he was. It was not that it mattered that much - he didn't think really think about it - but he knew it; it was part of who he was. He wasn't the smartest, but he did well in school anyway. Coming to think of it, he also had the biggest dick - at least he thought so. He smiled at the thought. They'd built tree houses and all the usual kids' stuff in the woods. There were fields and meadows on three sides around their part of town, and when they played there all kinds of different kids would tag along. Neil and his friends were always the core, but they never minded letting others in on the fun, and this kid Tommy had begun hanging with them. That was okay; he was a bit small but lots of fun. Neil shifted slightly. How long time ago was it? He was 17, and back then he would have been 11, so 6 years. That meant Tommy was 9. Tommy was thin and weak. He was by far the smallest of them. Perhaps that was why. Deliberately Neil broke off his line of thought and went to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. He put on some music and started surfing the Internet, but it didn't help. He kept thinking how small Tommy must have been. Why didn't Neil see that back then? Tommy had just been a lonely kid trying to make friends. Neil didn't really know how it started, but after a couple of months, instead of playing with Tommy they had started making fun of him. It was just a game. They did it because it was fun, and if they could make Tommy cry they had succeeded. They succeeded a lot. But who started it? Neil just didn't remember... "Fuck!" Neil put down his soda and kicked the wall in frustration. "Who am I kidding? I started it. It was me!" In fact, he remembered quite clearly. They had been wrestling, and Tommy always lost of course. Neil had started teasing him, and because he was the leader they all joined in. That was the first time Tommy cried. Huge mistake. They all thought he was a crybaby. For God's sake, they were just kidding, they'd said to each other when he'd gone. Why did he have to make such a big deal out it? When Neil came home his mother was very angry. Tommy's mother had called her and told her that Tommy had come home crying, and that Neil was responsible for it. "Neil, you have to promise me not to do that sort of thing again. I'm very disappointed in you. I thought you knew better, that I could trust you," she'd said, and Neil hung his head in shame. But the fact that Tommy had told his mother didn't help him at all. It made him a blabbermouth, and that's just about the worst thing a boy can be. It made him fair game. So for the next few months they all did what they could to make his life hell, and Neil led on, even if he did feel slightly bad about it. But it also felt good. The feeling of power was a great rush. Besides, if Tommy kept hanging with them it couldn't be that bad, could it? And Tommy always came. For months he kept coming. Neil didn't get it. Tommy always ended up crying and running away, and in the end they even began beating him - just because there was nothing he could do about it. Finally Tommy gave up and stopped coming. "That was the day I gave him a nose bleed, that's when he stopped coming," Neil realized, shocking himself. How could he have forgotten all this? They had been cruel, they knew it, and they'd even enjoyed it. "God, I feel sick. I beat up a smaller kid who'd never done anything to me. Last weak I was in a fight with Brad Johnson 'cause he made fun of that guy with the limp. Yeah, Neil Richardson the school hero. What a hypocrite I am!" He shut down the computer. For years he hadn't thought about all this, but it had been there in the back of his head looming. It's not something you just get rid of, he knew he'd done something unforgivable, and he could never change it. And even when Tommy stopped playing with them they didn't stop playing with him. They beat him up in school, out of school and everywhere. They nagged him, shoved him and teased him, until one day he'd seen them coming down the road. He'd tried running away, but they caught him. He was already crying before Neil shoved him, giving him the nosebleed. "Please, no, please don't. I have to take my shirt off first, it's new." The words had hit Neil like a fist in the stomach. Tommy hadn't said 'please don't hit me' or 'let me go'. He knew they were going to beat him up. He just wanted to save the shirt his mother probably gave him for his birthday or something. 'Shit, what am I doing?' Neil thought. "Leave him," he said. "But Neil..." "Leave him! We're going. Shut up Archie!" Neil turned around, and the rest of the boys followed. They never touched Tommy again. In fact, they had a sort of unspoken agreement not to even mention his name again. Neil had done everything he could to forget it all, damn difficult because the McGanns, Tommy's family, lived just round the corner and Tommy was in Sarah's class. But he locked it away in some unused part of his brain and spent the next years trying to loose the key. The boys never did anything like what they did to Tommy again. The day Neil had finally put a stop to the bullying Tommy had fallen to the ground. Even now, today, 17-year-old Neil could clearly see him lying there, shaking and sobbing, his head in his arms on the ground. He was probably wondering if this was a new, cruel joke, if they'd turn around and come back. There was blood and dirt on his new shirt because he'd been pushed to the ground. By Neil.
The next morning Neil awoke, the sound of his dream still in his ears. It was his mother - she was yelling at him for what they did to Tommy, even though she didn't know half of it. Actually, Tommy was far from a blabbermouth. "But mom," he mumbled. "It's just playing around, we're just teasing him. He's such a wimp, a sissy boy, we can't help it if he starts crying all the time." Groaning, Neil sat up. He stretched and threw on a pair of boxers before going to the bathroom. Today was Friday; tomorrow he had the big soccer match he'd been looking forward to for a long time. Now he didn't want to go. Shit, why did Tommy McGann have to go to the hospital so Sarah could bring him up. Actually, why did Tommy go to the hospital? Neil rinsed out the shampoo and draped the towel round his waist and went looking for Sarah. She was in the kitchen. As usual both his parents had already left for work. "Sarah, by the way, why did you say Tommy McGann was in the hospital?" "Because he was." She stared at him and shoved some sort of cereal into her face. Like Neil she was no creature of the morning. "No, I mean why? What's wrong?" "Why do you care all of a sudden?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, the shrugged. "Anyway, it was something he ate, but he's all right now." Neil nodded. He didn't know why it suddenly mattered, but it did. He turned around and went up the stairs to get dressed. No time for a morning wank. He didn't feel like one anyway.
In school Neil bumped into someone because he was in a hurry round the corner. Books and papers flew everywhere. He picked them up and handed them to their owner, before he realized who it was. Someone up high has a sick sense of humor! he thought. It was Tommy. "So sorry. Here." "Erm, thanks." Tommy took the books and hurried down the corridor without looking at Neil. Can't blame him for hating my guts, Neil thought sadly. Well, here goes: "Hey Tommy! You all right? I heard you were in the hospital." Tommy stopped and turned around, surprised. "Yeah, thanks." He smiled weakly. "Listen, do you think we could talk? I'd like to talk to you," Neil said, startling himself slightly. But he had to, he knew. "I don't know." Tommy looked around. Oh God, he's afraid it's an ambush! Neil realized. He felt like crying. "Anywhere you like, Tommy. Please?" For the first time Tommy looked at him. He had incredible eyes, dark gray and very large in his narrow face. They captivated Neil. "Why?" Tommy asked, his attention obviously caught. He's never heard me say please, Neil thought. "I just have to talk to you. I have to get to class now, okay? Think about it." Neil turned around and almost ran away. He hadn't counted on Tommy to have hauntingly beautiful eyes on top of everything else. He certainly didn't remember that. For a moment he almost resented Tommy for it, but it wasn't really his fault. I can't blame him for my bad consciousness, even if he does look like a betrayed puppy, Neil mused. His mood had improved somewhat, but he was also nervous that Tommy would refuse to talk to him. Actually, that was just about all he could think about, so he missed Mrs. Kingo's lecture in history class. He also missed the fact that Ann Taylor was desperately trying to catch his eyes. Ann Taylor in turn missed the fact that her best friend Dora was also in love with Neil, but she'd soon learn. Dora had already decided to rip out Ann's eyebrows at lunch.
Neil didn't see Tommy at lunch. He'd hoped Tommy would agree to meet him, but it didn't seem like it. When he'd finished his food he left the table and his friends and went into the schoolyard, just to do something. Maybe it would take his mind off Tommy and his own guilt. No such luck. The minute he stepped outside he realized there was trouble, and Tommy was right in the middle of it. It was Brad Johnson again. The guy was a complete and utter asshole, and Neil had been in more than one fight with him over the years. Now he was pushing Tommy around, and his friends were laughing and edging him on. Quite a crowd had gathered. "Neil! Do something!" It was Sarah; she was tugging at his sleeve. "For me, please." Not for you, sis, he thought. For him. He ran over there and shoved at Brad Johnson. "What are you doing? Can't you find someone your own size to pick on?" "You again, Richardson! Looking for trouble?" Brad sneered. "Oh, I'm sorry, with that belly of yours I guess it would be difficult to find someone your own size." "You're asking for it, asshole!" Johnson threw himself at Neil, who easily sidestepped him. Johnson's bulk was considerable; quick he was not. Neil kicked him, and he tripped and fell. But Johnson made up for his slowness with anger. He took everything and simply outlasted his opponents, and he got a few good punches in on Neil before a teacher stopped the fight. Neil was bruised and sore, but he felt good. When he came to his senses Tommy was gone. Neil couldn't see him anywhere. "Hey Sarah? Where did he go?" "Tommy? I...I think he left to go home. I don't know." Neil didn't answer. He ran out of the school. Outside he could just barely see Tommy pacing off. He ran after him. "Hey, Tommy, wait up," Neil shouted. Tommy turned his head, but he didn't slow down. By the time Neil had caught up he was a bit out of breath. "Tommy." "What?" He still didn't stop. "You expect me to thank you?" Neil flinched. "No, it's not that. I just want to talk. Why did you leave school?" "I've had enough trouble for one day, don't you think? It seems I inspire it," Tommy said bitterly. Neil didn't miss the implications. "It's not you." "Oh, that's right, it's not me. And really it hurts Brad as much as it hurts me." The sarcasm in his voice was dripping. "Tommy, I'm sorry. I'm so ashamed of what I did. Please believe me." Now Tommy stopped. "So that's it? That's supposed to make everything alright?" he spat. There was a look of contempt on his face, but he was also close to tears. "'I'm sorry?' Well that's fine." "I know it's not as easy as that," Neil said. He was also close to tears now. "I did something horrible and I don't know what to do now." A silver tear ran down Tommy's cheek, but his eyes still looked into Neil's brown ones. "You know, it might not have been so bad, except you were the reason I wanted to hang with you guys. I looked up to you and wanted to be like you, you know, and I thought..." He shook his head. "God, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I hate myself for what I-" "Don't say anything. You don't know how it was! And for years you just ignore me, and now all of a sudden you say you're sorry. What am I supposed to do?" "I...I don't know," Neil said sadly. "I just wish-" "Please, just leave me alone. I don't want to know you. I don't think I can forgive you, so don't ask me to, and if you feel bad then it's you're own fault, so you'll forgive me if I don't loose any sleep." He stopped, breathless, left Neil on the pavement and didn't look back. Neil began to tear up, both because he knew he had caused some kid a lot of unnecessary pain and because of something else. He had just realized that Tommy was beautiful. Gorgeous, really. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
Neil had almost accepted the fact that he was gay. Of course he had dated a few girls, because that's what popular school soccer team stars did. He'd even slept with a few of them. But his fantasies were all about boys, and he'd only ever been in love with boys. Not for real, just small time crushes, but still. And the fact that when he was 12 he noticed he was getting hard all the time in the locker rooms was difficult to shrug off. So, all in all he'd accepted it, even if he did keep it very much a secret. But even though some boys were pretty and some sexy, only few were both so much so as Tommy. Tommy was slender - thin even and 5 foot 6. He had dark, gray eyes. Very gray eyes. Eyes to get lost in. His hair was light blond and hung a little above his shoulders with just the slightest hint of waves. His face was narrow and well proportioned, and his body was just right. Neil knew for a fact that Tommy was the perfect boy. And the perfect boy hated Neil - and had every reason to.
Chapter 2:
Neil didn't see Tommy the next few days, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't forget him. He still had a bad consciousness, but that wasn't all. Even when he jerked off he thought about Tommy. Actually probably even more then. Dinner that night was silent. Sarah didn't say a word. "What's with her?" Neil asked. "That boy didn't want to come over today," his mother replied in an 'isn't-it-sweet-when-the-kids-have-heart-aches'-voice. "Who, Tommy?" Sarah looked up. "Yeah. And it's probably because he still hates you." "Or maybe he just doesn't like you, Sarah," Neil replied icily, but he didn't even believe it himself. Sarah was very hot with her brown eyes and long black hair, and there probably wasn't a boy in town who didn't want her. "Neil!" His father looked disapprovingly at him. Neil shut up. He was preoccupied anyway, trying to think of a way to get Tommy to talk to him again. Of course, there was no denying that Neil was attracted to the younger boy, but it was more than that. It was important. If he could just show Tommy that he was sorry, and that it had nothing to do with Tommy it didn't have to go beyond that, because the kid was bound to think there was something wrong with him since they picked on him. In fact, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. Nothing at all.
So, Neil tried hard. He looked for Tommy everywhere, he even went down to his classroom, but Tommy seemed intent on escaping him. The few times Neil did see him, he would run away the moment he noticed Neil. Neil was getting more and more frustrated, and his friends were perplexed. He used to spend his breaks with them, but now he was all over the place, and he wouldn't tell them what was going on. It was very unlike him. Finally Neil went to Tommy's house and asked to see him. Tommy's mother seemed anything but pleased to see him, and Neil blushed with shame because he knew she knew everything he had done to her wonderful son, but she quietly went to get Tommy. However, she returned alone and told him that Tommy didn't want to see him, and that was that. He started to protest, but she closed the door in his face. Neil felt hurt. He couldn't blame her - at all - but for Mr. Popularity, the experience was new and very unpleasant. It might all very well have ended there, but it didn't. Tommy liked soccer too much for that.
Chapter 3:
"We are moving two of the guys from the junior team to our team. They're really good and deserve it, so be nice to them, okay? They're gonna give you a lot of hard competition," coach Jenkins said, rubbing his hands. He had thing about competition, it was his mantra, but he knew his student thought it was funny. That was okay with him, and he even overdid it on purpose to give them stuff to laugh at. His philosophy was that whatever works..., and this seemed to be good for the general atmosphere. Neil was shocked. He was in the middle of changing and only had his boxers on when he froze. One of the two new guys was Tommy. Tommy seemed uncomfortable, too, but he must have already known that Neil would be there. Their eyes met briefly, and something sparkled inside Neil, but then Tommy just began changing at the other end of the room after the coach had introduced him and the other guy. Neil was too busy too even look at the other new boy. "Hey, aren't ya gonna welcome me, Neil?" Neil looked away from Tommy. "Huh? Oh, Jay, it's you. Yeah... congratulations." Jay was the other newcomer, and Neil had known him for many years. Actually, he had sometimes been in on the 'fun' with Tommy back then, even though he was a year younger than Neil. "Thanks, man," Jay said and started chatting away happily. He enjoyed being able to show everyone he was friends with Neil Richardson and never noticed that Neil's attention was far away. God, he's beautiful! Neil thought. It was difficult to see Tommy so far away and with all the boys there, so maybe Neil was very obvious in his attempts, but he had to try and just hope for the best. He got a good look at Tommy's pale, slender legs and bare feet, and it was enough to give him the beginnings of an erection. It took all his will power to look away before anyone caught on. Besides, he had to loose the erection. Someone might see, - and there was no was he could play soccer with it! When they began warming up Neil managed to get close to Tommy. "Hey, welcome to the team," he said because he couldn't think of anything better. Tommy looked at his feet. "Thanks." "I didn't know you played that well?" "Coach thinks I do." Tommy looked up at Neil for a second, and again that swirl appeared in Neil's stomach. He had no idea what it was, but it felt sort of good - but there was some pain there as well. When they began playing there was no chance of communication, much to Neil's regret. Although Tommy seemed shy and reserved, he hadn't walked away. That had to be a good sign? Neil was almost too focused on Tommy to notice the small jabs some of the players made at the boy, but not quite. He could feel his anger rising when he heard some of the boys whisper 'fag' and 'girlie-boy' at Tommy, but Tommy seemed unmoved. Something told Neil he wasn't, though. When Tommy thought no one was looking, he squeezed his eyes shut as if he was afraid of crying. He mumbled something to himself, but Neil couldn't quite hear. There was this guy, Mike, on the team who always had to assert himself, so it wasn't very surprising that he stepped over the line. "I'm gonna make you suck my cock the way you know you want, pussy boy," he hissed quite loudly at Tommy, who just stared at him with a blank expression. His eyes told a different story, though. He was both scared and hurt, as well as angry. "Hey!! Give him a break!" Neil shouted, looking as menacing as he could. "What's it to you? I'm getting tired of you rescuing every looser you see, Richardson," Mike said. "You don't want to go down this road," Neil said calmly, but his voice was cold and determined. Mike seemed to hesitate, but it was not in his character to back down, especially not when a pretty-boy told him to. "Why? Is he your fuck boy? I bet he's a screamer. Does the sissy scream when you pop-" He began, but he was cut short by a forceful blow to the stomach. He bent over in pain, unable to even put up a show of a struggle. Neil hit him 2-3 times more, before coach Jenkins came over. He gave them both a formal warning, and they would have to miss the next match, but Neil didn't care. He felt he did what he had to. But he did regret having to change early as part of the punishment, because that meant he would miss seeing Tommy naked. Ah well. At least this way he wouldn't get a raging hard-on in front of the whole team. He waited outside for Tommy. He was one of the last to come out, but eventually he did. "Hey." "Hey," Tommy replied, subdued. "I thought maybe you wanted a ride home?" "No thanks." "Oh, come on, it has to better than walking." He smiled. "It might rain." "Stop it!" Tommy shouted, halting. "Just...stop it!" "What?" "Stop defending me all the time! Stop being a nice guy! It's so difficult to keep hating you when..." "I don't want you to hate me!" "I do, okay! I do. Forget what I said, it's not difficult at all, and don't try being my friend, 'cause I won't make that mistake twice!" He sniffed, almost crying. Neil flinched. He knew he deserved it, but it hurt, and that showed. It seemed even Tommy saw it, because he looked puzzled. "Look, please give me a second chance. I know it's asking a lot and I don't deserve it, but I really, really want it... I'll do anything!" "Anything? Why?" "I don't know. It's just important." Tommy seemed to consider it. "Tell me... when was I placed on the 'Neil Richardson list of charities and worthy causes'? I thought it was only the little kids and that guy with the limp..." "James." "...James." Neil felt like crying. "I don't know. I guess it was when I suddenly realized what I'd done to you..." "Realized?! You've known for 6 fucking years!" Tommy spat, misty- eyed. "I've been trying to forget ever since, but when Sarah said you'd gone to the hospital it triggered something and it all came back and I felt like shit." Tommy laughed a humorless laugh. "It was only a bad pizza. I was home the same day." Neil chuckled. "I know, stupid, isn't it? So, how about the ride while you think about it?" "Okay."
They rode in silence until they were almost there. "I know at least 20 girls who would kill to be in your car with you," Tommy smiled a little distracted. Neil didn't answer. It was probably true, but it wasn't important. Neil would rather just have this one boy. "You know, every time someone says it's incredible how someone as hot as Neil Richardson can be such a nice guy I laugh." Neil clutched the wheel hard. "You can be very cruel, you know that?" "I know. Consider it payback. Besides, I didn't say it wasn't true." "Huh?" "Even if I don't know if you're nice I know for sure you're hot." He gasped as if realizing what he'd just said. There was a scared look on his face. "I mean... the girls say so, and-and I'm not blind, and a guy can still tell, you know, and..." He decided to stop rambling. Saying nothing is better when you're very, very scared. "It's cool. You're far better looking than me anyway, Tommy. I know for a fact that Sarah's in love with you." "I...I know. But I'm not in love with her." He stressed the word 'her' a bit, but Neil didn't seem to notice. "I guess you can just take a pick, huh?" Neil had to try hard to hide the dejection in his voice. So he would never have Tommy except maybe as a friend. That was more than he deserved and a whole lot in itself, and it would have to do. He slowed down the car unwilling to end the trip. "I guess I should button my shirt before I go home," he said casually. He wore his tan shorts and a dark blue shirt. "No! No, I mean it looks good with it open..." Tommy was going to say more, but his hormones were pushing him around, so it was too risky. His eyes took in Neil's long, tanned legs and his flat, slightly paler chest. Neil had a little hair on his chest, and it swung down his stomach and disappeared enticingly down his shorts. Tommy breathed hard and excited. "Well, maybe I'll leave it if you think," Neil mumbled. "You said 'I'm not in love with her' like there's someone else. Can I ask who it is?" Tommy tensed. Clearly, he didn't want the question. "Dude, I don't think we're quite there yet, if we ever will be. I'm beginning to think this is a mistake." "No! Sorry I asked. I was just curious." "Well, anyway, thanks for the ride. You can just drop me off here." "Okay, you got it." Neil stopped the car. They were almost there anyway. Tommy got out and turned around to look into the car. There was a mischievous grin on his face. Neil lost his breath because it was so sexy. "Listen, I won't say who it is, but I'll say this." There was something in the way he spoke that gave Neil the impression he was being very daring. "That I'm in love with this person is sooo sick. I mean, really sick. I thought about seeing a shrink, actually, but I didn't." He smiled almost wickedly and went into the house. He even waved good bye, and Neil was pleased to wave back, but as to who Tommy was in love with he was none the wiser. And he wanted to know very badly. The only thing he didn't know was whether he wanted to congratulate them or break their neck.
Chapter 4:
All night Neil tossed about, unable to sleep. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get Tommy out of his head, and in the end he just gave in and started fantasizing. He recalled the image of Tommy in the locker room and in the car, but most of all he just thought of Tommy's eyes. They seemed to look at him from the darkness, but instead of being intimidating they made Neil feel warm and happy. It wasn't until five in the morning when Neil realized he'd spent the whole night thinking about nothing besides Tommy that he finally admitted to himself that he was in love. And not just in love, he was head over heels in love with a beautiful, intelligent, charming, caring, funny boy. Somehow the fact that he was in love with a boy didn't matter at all. Compared to the longing and the wild warm feeling, it was insignificant. It was Tommy. That was all there was to it.
Unfortunately Tommy didn't feel the same at all. In fact, the next day in school, Friday, he ignored Neil completely. When Neil dumped his friends at lunch like he had all week and went looking for Tommy, he saw him turning around to get away. It was like a blow to the stomach. Neil had to retreat to the bathroom right away to compose himself and remove any evidence of the few tears he couldn't hold back. This wasn't like him at all. He was usually always in control. Archie, one of his old friends, burst in. "Neil, what the fuck's happening? What's wrong with you?" "Nothing," Neil growled and left the bathroom. Archie didn't give up that easy, though. "Nothing? You've been ditching us all week and we're just like air to you, it can't be nothing man! Talk to me. Are you in trouble?" "No. Not really." "Not really?" Archie opened the door to the lunchroom and pushed to their usual table where all their friends were. Archie just continued their conversation, ignoring the cheers and mock surprise from the table. "What do you mean, not really? Are you in love?" "Uhm, no." Archie looked at him. "You are, aren't you? You're the worst liar in the world, 's why you'll never have a career." He grinned. "Who is she?" "Archie, I said-" "Yeah, but you were lying. Now spill it." "Yeah, we're all curious," a girl named Hannah piped in. "Someone we know?" "No, so just leave it, all right?! Geez." Neil sat down heavily. "Alright, okay," Archie said sulking. Neil was still the leader, so they did leave it, but Neil knew they'd come back to it. They always did with that sort of thing; romance and intrigue kept the gossip flowing. Anyway, they started talking about something else - a new CD release or something - and Neil went back to his heartache. He had to talk to Tommy or he'd simply die on the floor. He would do anything. God, he had it bad!
He intercepted Tommy in the schoolyard when class was over. He didn't even bother to pretend it was accidental. "Hi, can we talk please?" he asked, or practically begged. "Deja vu," Tommy mumbled. He looked uncomfortable. "I'll give you a lift." Tommy shrugged, and they walked to Neil's car. As soon as they were on the road Neil asked why Tommy was avoiding him and if he'd thought about giving Neil a new chance. When Neil'd asked, the question seemed to hang in the air. He awaited the verdict. "Yes, I've been thinking," Tommy said slowly. "I don't think I can be your friend. It's much too hard. For me I mean." Neil felt like shit once again. "I know you don't trust me. I don't deserve it, but I'd like a chance to earn it. Please?" Tommy shook his head. "Sorry," he mumbled, choking. "No! No! Don't do this, please, please. I've never begged so much before in my life." "I know, and I don't get it. Why is this so important to you? Is it that you can't live with an imperfect spot on your otherwise perfect life, so you have to try fix it?" Tommy's voice sounded a bit contemptuous. "No! You're important, that's why!" Neil pounded the wheel, partly to emphasize, partly in frustration. Tommy frowned. Obviously, that was beyond his imagination. "I don't get it." "You! Tommy McGann! Is it so impossible that I could care about you?" "Yes! Why should you? You never did before! No one does!" Tommy sobbed. "I hate you! You're just trying to make me cry!" He began frantically opening the door. "Let me out!" "I'm not! Don't go! Tommy!" Neil braked and reached for Tommy. He held him back, but Tommy started kicking and yelling. "Tommy, it's alright. It's alright." "No it's not! I hate you! I hate you! Let me go! I hate you so much!" Neil dragged the much lighter boy back in the car. Two elderly women passed by, but neither of the boys noticed. Neil did what he could to press Tommy against his chest and calm him down. "Relax, you're hysterical, Tommy! Please, calm down..." He used all his strength, but it took more than two minutes before Tommy calmed down and relaxed, his back against Neil's chest. They were both out of breath. "Whew," Neil whispered, "you're strong man." Tommy didn't reply, but he didn't move either. They sat in silence for a while. "You used to do this." "Huh?" Neil was startled, when Tommy broke the silence. Tommy's voice seemed light and at ease, but not pleasant. "You did this all the time. You used your strength to force me, and there was nothing I could do." Neil gasped. He hadn't thought of that. "Shit, I'm sorry, I'm such a dumb-ass!" He released his grip on the now somewhat sweaty boy. "Have you any idea how humiliated I am right now?" "Not really." It was a whisper. "Well, since you've taken away my dignity again anyway, I might as well get something off my chest. At least you'll leave me alone again afterwards." He turned around facing Neil on his knees. His face was serious, and he'd been crying. Neil never realized. "I...I'm in love with you." "What?!" "Yeah, how sick is that? You've been both the hero and the tormentor of my childhood, mostly the last. You've always degraded me and humiliated me, and still I've loved you for years and years. I must really hate myself, huh?" Neil couldn't stop his tears from running, but he didn't care. "Me?" "Yeah, you. I told you yesterday my love is sick. Guess I wasn't kidding, huh?" His voice was still completely even and devoid of emotion, but he seemed to take some sort of perverse pleasure in exposing himself to Neil, who was too shocked to speak. "You wanted to come near me. Well, now you are. Now you smell the rotten stinking pile of shit that's my heart." "Stop that!" Neil gasped desperately. "Stop putting yourself down! You deserve so much better than that." Tommy laughed. There wasn't much humor in his voice. "Yeah, right." "No, really! You're funny, bright, charming-" "U-huh?" Tommy sounded mocking. "Yes! And good-looking. No, that's not right. You're fucking breathtaking. You're so beautiful it's blinding." Now Tommy's shell cracked. "You're making it worse," he weeped. "I mean it. I don't know why I chose you back then, but it was coincidence." There was no pretence now. "It had nothing to do with you. It was all me." Tommy shook his head in denial. "No, I know it's me. I'm a fuck-up. I wish I'd never been born." He looked at Neil, his huge gray eyes meeting Neil's soft brown. "I'm kinda sorry to drag you into this, but I guess you brought it on yourself." "Well, I'm not sorry," Neil said determinedly. "If you can afford to be honest after so much pain, so can I. Tommy, I've fallen for you big time. I'm in love with you. No, I'm serious!" "I wish I could hate you! You're so cruel," Tommy sneered. Neil almost panicked. Tommy didn't believe him! Desperately he leaned over and pressed his lips against Tommy's. The younger boy tensed and then drew back, a look of horror on his face. "Why'd you do that?" "Because I wanted to. Because I've wanted to ever since I noticed you. Because I want you sooo bad." Neil's voice was raw with emotion. Tommy seemed to consider this. He looked like a bird trying to solve a problem with its head at an angle. Neil held his breath. "Yeah?" Tommy finally said. It was barely audible, and he sounded and looked terribly vulnerable. "Yeah," Neil nodded. "You've no idea what it's like when someone you're in love with shuns you and... okay, so you do." He smiled sheepishly. "But I want to be with you, even though I know somehow you must still hate me. You're bound to." "I didn't mean it," Tommy sobbed, "I just said it. I don't hate you. I love you. I love you so much. You're so strong and handsome and intelligent. God, I wish I was like you." He timidly moved closer, as if expecting rejection anytime. He shyly kissed Neil. It was very very chaste and feather-light, and very, very erotic. Neil moaned and almost shot his load. "Ohhh... You're so great." He opened his arms, and Tommy scooted closer. "So... I guess they were right you're gay." Tommy clung desperately to Neil with his eyes closed. He reminded Neil of a helpless kitten, and a deep sense of tenderness flooded him. He swore to himself he'd protect the kid forever. "Yeah, I am," Tommy whispered. "But, so are you, right?" "Right." He smoothed Tommy's messed-up blond hair. Tommy sighed and moved even closer. He breathed in deeply repeatedly, and suddenly Neil realized what was going on. The younger boy was reveling in his smell with his nose buried near Neil's shoulder! "Gross," he said, smiling. "No," Tommy mumbled. "Wonderful." He hooked his arms around Neil's neck, his face against Neil's neck and in his hair. Neil was just so happy. The boy was all over him, so loving and so cute it almost hurt. "You're really into this, aren't you?" "Uhm, yeah." Tommy surfaced. His gray eyes were wide open, and Neil could feel himself being dragged in. "Baby, you have the most gorgeous eyes." Tommy beamed. "Yeah?" The simple compliment almost had him in tears. "Yeah. You're the most beautiful creature in the world. I must have won the big lottery." Tommy again buried his nose in Neil's slight chest hair he'd unbuttoned his way to. "More, please," he whispered. "Would you like to know that you're sexy as hell? I thought I'd faint when I saw your legs in the locker room yesterday, I got hard so quick." Tommy trembled in Neil's lap. He was completely new to compliments he believed in, but hearing Neil's raspy voice say them he believed them, and they made him feel so good he was almost purring. He began crying a little again, but it was from happiness, and Neil sensed that, so he just held him tight and kept whispering compliments. After a while Tommy once again surfaced. His eyes were glazed over. He looked into Neil's eyes briefly - because Neil seemed to like that - and then kissed him again. This time he was far more persistent, and Neil happily let Tommy's tongue in his mouth. For a couple of minutes they kissed, Neil drinking a lot of the saliva dripping from Tommy's wide-open mouth. Finally they parted. "Wow!" Tommy breathed. "I can't believe I did that with you. This is a wet dream come true. And a jack-off fantasy," he added. Neil laughed. "It was sloppy. But God! was it good! You taste wonderful." Tommy blushed happily. Even after half an hour of almost constant praise he lapped everything up. Neil guessed he was starved of praise. Well, since it seemed to make Tommy so happy Neil was quite willing to provide it. There was much about Tommy to praise anyway, no risk of running out. "Baby, you're wonderful," Neil said and resumed kissing. Tommy closed his eyes and opened his mouth completely. Soon he began squirming in Neil's lap, which sent wonderful feelings through Neil's very hard dick up his spine to his brain. Tommy began a low-pitched moan, and his squirming got worse. Neil broke the kiss. "Getting frisky, baby?" he grinned, completely in awe of the wonder in his arms. "Yeah," Tommy moaned. "I need this." He hadn't stopped pressing his body into Neil. Neil was on the edge when he suddenly realized they were in the car on the street close to both their homes. "Baby, baby." He broke their kiss. "Mmmmmmhh..." "We need to get home first. Someone might see us." "Fuck that." Neil laughed. "You're really horny, aren't you?" Tommy laughed silently. "I'm dying. Please? Pleasepleaseplease?" "Argghh... remember that 'till later, baby, you're so cute. But I think we should go." He felt Tommy tense and lifted his face to his. "But it's up to you. We're in this together." Tommy looked like he would burst from love. He had to catch his breath before he could say "You're right. Let's go. Quickly, please!" There was a frustrated pitch in his voice, which Neil understood, but it was funny anyway. "What have I gotten myself into? I bet I'll have my hands full with you, won't I?" Tommy tensed at the first few words, but then relaxed and laughed. "It's because you make me so hot." Neil drove them home quickly - and a little bit recklessly. "Fuck!" he said. "We can't go to my place, my mom's car's there, so she already got home. And Sarah's there as well. You're place?" "Yes, quickly!" Tommy was beginning to get desperate. "But we have to be quick, 'cause mom'll be home pretty soon, and if she finds you having sex with me she'll kill you." "Doesn't she know you're gay?" Tommy laughed. "Oh yeah, she's known for years. We're pretty close and she's totally supportive. She's really great. It's you that's the problem, Neil." "Huh?" "She knows I'm in love with you, and that's what she can't accept. She blames you for everything that's wrong with me." "She's right." Neil began to tear up. "Can't blame her." Tommy crawled over and licked Neil's ear. "Let's share the blame, okay?" "No," Neil said vehemently, "it's mine and I'm not running away from it. You're never to blame." He parked the car outside Tommy's house and turned to the boy. "I want you to realize that. If you still love me when you do, you're really special, but even if you don't, I have to show you how it was, okay?" "Even if you'd loose my love?" "Yes. You're more important than me." "You'd never loose my love, Neil. Let's get inside, okay? We haven't got much time, and I really want you." He grabbed Neil's hand and dragged him inside and down a corridor to his room. Before Neil had time to look around Tommy pushed him down on the unmade bed and jumped on top of him. Neil caught him in his arms and tickled the back of his neck and the top of his spine. Tommy shuddered and kissed Neil, who readily opened his mouth. Already Tommy's squirming was becoming frantic. He was grinding himself into Neil. Neil felt the familiar tingle begin in his balls. "Hey, baby! You want this to end already?" "N-no." Tommy breathed in Neil's smell. "I'm just so hot." "I know." Neil laughed and kneaded Tommy's asscheeks through the denim. "Want me to strip you?" "Yes please. You, too." Neil obliged. He pulled Tommy's T-shirt over his head and kissed his erect nipples. Tommy moaned. Neil then proceeded to take off the rest of Tommy's clothes except his briefs. "Wow," he whispered, taking in the sight. Tommy blushed. "Come on, you too. Come on!" Tommy began tearing at the fabric of Neil's shirt. Neil laughed happily and quickly stripped. Before he could shed the boxers, though, Tommy stopped him. "Can I?" He gave Neil his best puppy-dog look. "This is quite a fantasy." "Taking off my boxers?" "Yeah!" Tommy sat up on his knees in the bed and hooked his fingers in the band of the boxers. Then he pulled them down. "Geez!" "What?" Neil asked worried. Was Tommy disappointed? "You're huge!" Tommy chuckled. "I hadn't expected this, even though they call you the horse." "The hor-ohhh-se?" Neil's knees buckled under him when Tommy wrapped his hand round his cock. "Yeah, didn't you know?" Tommy giggled and dragged Neil down on the bed. Neil kissed him and moved on top of the boy. He felt Tommy's hands cup his ass, and then a hand found his balls and gently squeezed. Neil moaned into Tommy's mouth, making the younger boy giggle. "Not fair," Neil whispered and pushed down the boy's briefs. Tommy's penis jumped up, and the boy exhaled sharply when Neil lowered his pelvis and ground his dick into Tommy's. "You like?" he smiled. "Mmmmmmm.. don't stop, please. Oh God, I'm so close." Tommy's eyes were wide open and stared at Neil, who began kissing him, but so as not to end it all too soon he stopped moving his body. Tommy whimpered disappointedly, but after a moment he kissed Neil back. "That was sooo close." "I know, me too," Neil replied, resuming his movements. Tommy felt so warm and alive against his skin, so unlike the girls he'd been with. They'd meant nothing. Tommy meant everything. This time, the warmth cursed through his entire body like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was excruciatingly wonderful. Even though he wanted to shut his eyes in ecstasy he didn't, it was just too good to look Tommy in the eyes while they were doing this. But that wasn't what brought him over the edge. Tommy's intoxicating smell didn't do it either. It was his humming. Tommy was so close it hurt, and his breathing became labored. He didn't realize that it resembled humming, because he was too far gone to realize much anything else than his impending climax, but Neil heard it, and it sent a jolt of tenderness through his stomach and all the way to his brain, and that brought his orgasm down on him like the roof falling in. "Oh God!" he yelled, and then he began spurting jets and jets of semen up Tommy's stomach and chest. Tommy tensed and began shaking, and soon Neil could feel him shooting all over them the same way Neil had. Then they almost collapsed. Neil pulled Tommy to him, and Tommy snuggled close and sighed. He reveled in Neil's smell. "We need to get up. My mom'll be here soon," he said, but there was no conviction in his voice. "I know, baby," Neil said and closed his eyes. He felt Tommy shudder lightly when Neil called him 'baby'. Then they fell asleep.
"Oh shit! Wake up Neil!" Tommy hissed and tried to shake Neil awake. "Wha? What is it? Oh, hi babe," Neil smiled, still half asleep. "Hurry up! You have to hide!" The apparent panic in the younger boy's voice finally woke Neil up. "What's wrong?" "Mom. She's home. She'll be up any minute. Please, hide. Please!" Tommy didn't have to beg. The word "mom" made Neil jump out of bed in a flash. He tried to find all his clothes, but it wasn't easy, and there was no time to put them on. "In here. Hurry!" Tommy indicated the big closet opposite the door. "The closet?" Neil asked amused, even as he opened the door and pushed aside some of the clothes hanging there. "Isn't that a bit of a cliche?" Tommy was too nervous to do anything but giggle. He threw his own clothes on a chair and got back in bed seconds before there was a knock on the door and his mother came in. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" "Yeah, I was just a bit tired, that's all." "Are you sure? You look a bit flushed." "No mom, I'm okay." "Hmm." She sounded surprised. "You look kind of happy." "I feel good, really." "Okay, if you say so honey. I'm going shopping now, but tonight I think we should talk about your obsession with that boy, okay? You know I don't like it, but I know you say you love him..." "Not now, mom!" Tommy gasped. Neil almost laughed out loud at the embarrassment in Tommy's voice. Tommy's mother laughed. "Well, it's not like he's going to hear, is it?" "No, no," Tommy answered meekly. "Okay, be good now. I love you, honey." "Love you too, mom." Once she'd left, Neil let out a howl of laughter. Before he could open the closet doors he heard something fall against it, blocking the doors. "Hey! Let me out!" "No way, not when you're laughing at me. Say you're sorry!" "Okay, I'm sorry. And eh, I'm still naked of course." The doors flew up. "You know how to tempt me, don't you?" Neil pulled Tommy close and kissed him. "Come on, you have to admit it was a bit funny," he snickered. "No it wasn't! Anyway, she made it up. I never said.." He pushed Neil away and shut his eyes tight. "She made it up." "Tommy, it's okay. Really. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just so happy." "Oh yeah?" He began sobbing. "I swear, if you're just playing with me.." "Listen Tommy, I don't care if you told your mother you love me. No, I mean, of course I care, I'm glad. What I mean is, it only counts if you say it to me, okay?" The boy was still crying, but he seemed to be listening. He didn't resist when Neil tried to hug him. In fact, he clung to Neil. "I must be so stupid opening up to you like this," he mumbled, "but I can't help it." "It's okay, baby. Tell me when you're ready. How long time do we have?" "An hour or so. Why?" "I want to kiss you." "But..you already are." "No, properly, while we lie down and I hold you. For an hour." "Yeah?" "Yeah. Come here." Well, the boy came, and he was smiling.
That's it for now, but I'll return victoriously. It's not the end - it's not even the beginning of the end! (Sorry - couldn't help it). Anyway, if you fell asleep wake up and tell me why. If you think the story is worth continuing, tell me also. The story is for you, and you can influence it. Talk to me at acol@groenjord.dk - I promise to talk back. See ya Attemptatinger