Cheddar's, Chapter 3
In mid-November, Adam began considering how he would spend the Thanksgiving holiday. He could ask for extra hours at the restaurant to boost his bank account and keep from being by himself. He also hoped Parker would trust him to stay in the apartment alone since he had no other place to go. His family hadn't attempted to make any contact with him, though he'd heard from Darrin that they were pissed over his telling friends he had to go on the dole because they'd kicked him out.
Just before Adam was going to approach his manager, Gloria, about upping his schedule, Parker said he thought it would be nice for the two of them to have their own little holiday celebration together. He wouldn't be spending Thanksgiving with family since his mother was going off for an extended stay in Europe, and his grandparents were invited to his uncle's house in Minnesota. His Uncle Ralph had not, for whatever reason, felt the need to include him. His grandparents had been upset over the slight, and said they would stay home and he could come to see them. However, Parker had encouraged them to go ahead, claiming he had already made other plans.
There wasn't any other family who would likely invite him. His Aunt Sally might have, but she was going to her in-laws. Parker wished his father would have him, but he hadn't spent a holiday with him in many years. He didn't even know where his dad was at present. He longed for some kind of relationship with him, but it never happened.
"I really did plan to spend the time with you," Parker smiled. "If the grand `rents had invited me to their home before they got Ralph's invitation, I would have taken you along. We'll go there for Christmas unless you have something else in mind."
"Nope, I don't have anyone. My parents have poisoned my grandparents, or maybe it was the other way around, since they raised the bigots who raised me. I HAVE no family."
"You have me," Parker insisted. "We can be family to each other. I guess we're both like poor little lost boys."
"Um, you don't seem to be exactly poverty-stricken, if that's what you mean by the word `poor'," Adam said, hoping he hadn't offended his housemate.
"Maybe not financially. I was sorta born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I haven't exactly known what it's like to have a stable family life. If you look up the word `dysfunctional,' in the dictionary, it's our picture they use for the illustration."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"Nah, I'm okay. I'm used to it, and things ARE looking up."
Adam pondered Parker's last statement, hoping that perhaps he might have something to do with his housemate's optimism.
Like the university, the public school system had several days off. They tended to keep their schedules aligned so professors could be with their children for holidays. Adam did manage to put in extra hours at the restaurant, subbing for those who went away, so his paycheck should be bigger than usual. He thought he might use a little of his windfall to buy something nice to give Parker for Christmas.
He didn't feel too bad about not contributing more to their grocery bill because he was at least receiving some items from the foodbank which Parker managed to turn into pretty tasty meals. Adam's cooking skills were improving too – a benefit of finding recipes on the `net.
Parker had convinced him that his rent stayed the same despite double occupancy, so Adam didn't feel like he was sponging. Now, if he could figure out a way to get money for his college education without ending up in debt for the next 20 years, his life would be better. Perhaps his counselor at school could help him find scholarships.
At first, the guys were planning to have a chicken for their holiday meal, but Adam was lucky enough to score a basket from the foodbank which included a small turkey. As a single, he might not have received such a large donation, but some families didn't show up to claim theirs, and so he lucked out. The basket contained enough food for a family of four. Parker said they could freeze the extra meat for quick dinners later. Adam was particularly pleased to be able to contribute, even though he did feel uncomfortable about accepting charity, despite the bravado he'd exhibited when Parker had asked him about it earlier.
Their meal was quite fine. Parker had managed to procure a bottle of white wine which added to the festive nature of the occasion. Some students would have overindulged, but these two drank less than half the bottle between them, and that was with their food.
When they sat down to partake of their bounty, Parker thought they might spend a moment, while the turkey rested, recounting what they had to be thankful for. Adam wanted to start.
"I'm especially thankful this year because I don't have to hide who I am. But more than that, I'm very thankful that you offered me friendship and a home. Your kindness means more than a roof over my head and food in my belly."
As he ended, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
"I'm also especially thankful this year," Parker echoed. "For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy. Your presence is changing me inside. Thank you for coming into my life."
At that point, Adam couldn't hold his emotions completely in check. But then, neither could Parker. They both smiled as a few drops ran down their cheeks.
"Well, I hope we don't over-salt the food with our tears," Parker joked to cover his sentimental reaction.
Adam reached across the small table and squeezed his hand. Parker squeezed back.
Parker's fall term would end shortly after the middle of December. He had kept his studies up to date, but still felt a little stressed as he finished his projects and tests.
In the psychology class, Dr. Forman met individually with his students to critique their research papers which constituted the major part of their grade for the class. Parker felt good about what he'd done, but still had a slight case of nerves as he waited his turn. The guy who came out of the office just before his time-slot looked rather glum. That couldn't be a positive sign!
Dr. Forman's smile, as he ushered him in, helped to alleviate his worries.
"I'm impressed with your research, but even more so with the anecdotal study you conducted. I have a distinct feeling that it's autobiographical in part at least."
"Yes, sir, is that a bad thing?"
"Not necessarily, as long as you share it with your other subject to get his permission before you make it public."
"I haven't let him see it yet, but I will. I'm not planning to publish it, so I thought it didn't matter."
"You should consider entering it in a scholarly journal, with a little tweaking. In all honesty, it's at the level of graduate work."
"Wow! Thanks!"
"Your writing ability is far above that of the average undergraduate, especially a first-year student. Have you already taken college courses?"
"I was in advanced-placement language arts classes throughout high school. I really never thought of myself as being above average. The competition was pretty stiff at the academy."
"Well, they certainly educated you well. I suspect most of your peers were also above average.
Not to change the subject, but do I detect a strong affection for the other person in your study?"
"Um, does it show?" Parker blushed.
"To the untrained eye, probably not, but to a practicing psychologist, I'd have to say it does. That's something we might downplay if you want to publish."
"May I ask your opinion on a personal matter, or would that amount to trying to get free medical advice?"
"Why don't you ask. I promise not to send you a bill."
"Um, do you think guys as young as we are could make it together for the long haul? I have feelings for Adam, and I think he has them for me as well. Could that turn into a happily-ever-after scenario?"
"Anything is possible as long as you keep the lines of communication open. You'll both have to be willing to give and take, and you'll have to work at growing together instead of growing apart. That can be a tall order when you're both deep in coursework, attempting to get a good education.
The first blush of love is romantic, but it takes effort, and being friends, to make it last. Have you expressed your feelings yet?"
"No, but I'm going to over the holidays. He'll be staying with me at Grandma's."
"Best of luck! And, please come back to work with me on this project next term if you'd like to begin making a name for yourself."
"Thanks, I will!"
When Parker arrived at the apartment, he found Adam looking through the freezer trying to find something to thaw for dinner. Adam had been doing most of the cooking during Parker's finals week since he was under less pressure because his would occur in January.
"I've had a wonderful day, and I'd like to celebrate. How about we go to Cheddar's and find something?"
"Um, I'm not sure that's a good idea. My manager frowns on it if we're seen there with customers. It gives people the notion that we're on the same social level as they are."
"Of course, you're on the same level! We would be peers if it were a dive or the finest restaurant in New York or London! What is that crap?"
"It is what it is. Please don't rock the boat; I need the job!"
"I won't go on a crusade and jeopardize your employment, but I think it's shitty to say the least!"
"Thanks. Do you like Mexican? I know a place called `El Rancho' which makes the best fajitas I've ever tasted."
"Okay, let's go there."
While Parker and Adam enjoyed their chips and salsa, sipping on lime-flavored carbonated drinks that were sort of like a non-alcoholic margarita, Adam read Parker's paper. He smiled at some of the subjective passages which sounded somewhat familiar. He wondered if he were reading more into it than was actually there. It appeared to be an idealized version of how he would like their lives to be.
"So what do you think? Be honest; don't tell me what you think I want to hear."
"I'm really impressed. These two guys are very good for each other."
"Yeah, I think they... we, are too."
"It really is about us then? I kinda thought so."
"Yeah; I'm sorry I didn't let you read it before I turned it in. I mean, it is rather personal. It hasn't been shared with anyone else, but Dr. Forman, and he encouraged me to publish it in a psychology periodical with a few changes to make the subjects less identifiable. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."
"I'd be fine with it. It sounds quite intellectual to me. Have you decided to major in psych?"
"I'm leaning that way currently. I still like the idea of becoming an author, but I know that's not a very secure field, financially, unless you're a best-seller."
"I don't think money would ever be a problem for you, would it?"
"Maybe not, but I have to feel like I'm worth something on my own, if that makes any sense?"
"It definitely does to me," Adam smiled.
At school, Dave continued to flirt with Adam at lunchtime, even though Adam tried to discourage it. It seemed like the more Adam resisted, the more Dave was determined to have him. Finally, Adam had had enough. After a rather obvious attempt to wear him down, Adam spoke up.
"Dave, you're an attractive guy and no doubt you have a lot to offer, but I'm simply not interested at this point in time. So fuck off!"
"Yeah, you're probably bending over every night for your college boy. Just wait till he finds someone older who has money, then you'll be begging to be with me, but it'll be too late!"
Dave stormed off leaving his tray with his food only half eaten. One of the lunch supervisors called him to come back, but he kept going. No doubt he'd be in trouble later for leaving a mess.
"You must feel pretty good being fought over," Darrin snickered. "I guess I can understand it; you are pretty hot."
"Darrin, please don't tease. It really upsets me that Dave seems to obsess over dating me. As I told him, he's a desirable guy, but I'm just not into him. I'm sure he'd be hot in bed, but I'm looking for more than a one-night stand - something long-term."
"Someone like Parker?"
"Maybe. He and I are becoming very close friends, almost like family. When I do give my heart, it'll be in a situation like that."
"But, he's never put a move on you, right?"
"No, he hasn't. He's a perfect gentleman."
"Maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move."
"Maybe, but I can wait until the time is right. Relationships are about more than getting your rocks off!"
"I agree totally. By the way, how do you think our mothers would react if they knew we were discussing relationships with someone of the same sex?"
"I don't know, and I seriously don't give a shit!"
"Jeez, Adam, I hope we're besties forever!"
"Yeah, we have to be. We've been through a number of things together, including our parents' `wonderful' church."
"Thanks for reminding me – NOT! Have you given it up completely now that you're out?"
"Nope, I've been going the Grace Episcopal with Parker. I really like it. No one there says bad things about being gay, and they used to have a gay bishop."
Adam was careful to push his noon-time experience out of his mind while he concentrated on his classes, but during swimming, when his mind was free, he rehashed some of it. Had his rebuff of Dave's advances been too harsh and abrupt? Was he somehow sending off mating signals that encouraged him? Dave WAS hot, and it was kind of flattering to be sought after.
Was there any truth in the accusation Dave made about Parker? Was his housemate being sweet in order to lure him into something he wasn't ready for? Truly, he couldn't believe that of Parker. Parker had never made a pass or any sexual innuendo, much less tried to force himself on Adam. No, it had to be a case of sour grapes on Dave's part. But, why was Dave so eager to get into his pants? Did he really like Adam, or was it an obsession, a challenge to obtain what he couldn't have?
With Christmas break coming soon, Adam wouldn't have to think about Dave at all. He would be out of town, and with Parker's family. That brought other concerns to mind. What would they think about the guys' living arrangement? Would they assume that Adam was taking advantage of Parker? Would they consider him to be below their social status? They evidently had plenty of money. Would Parker come to his defense if his grandparents didn't approve? Was Adam hoping in vain for a connection with Parker that wasn't in the cards?
Still, Parker's words echoed in his head in response to what he'd said about the guys in his study being good for each other: "Yeah, I think they... we, are too." Adam smiled wistfully. He could only hope.
Why did relationships have to be so complicated?
Author's notes: Thanks to: Larry S, Kirk C, Dick M, ARL, JCH, Tom A, Geoff S, John D, Wayne, John L, Eddie C, Randy McC, Lance C, Chandra B, Tony F, Don S, Vern, Walter Sz, Jim H, Ott H. Jim W, Bill K, GCD, Bob G, Zero M, Mendy D, Jeremy R, Jim E, Lawrence and Douglas, Jamie M, Steve C, Ken D, Jeremy R, Bill T, Bob S, and Paul R who emailed this week.
As you know, I love hearing from all of you. My address is: dlee169@hotmail.commailto:dlee169@hotmail.com in case you've missed it.
Some other notes of thanks. I appreciate my editors Tom and David who help make these stories better by finding typos, and making suggestions.
Thanks also to Nifty for making this free site possible. Please send them a little something to help cover their expenses if you're able.
Hope all is well with you, as we prepare for the holidays.
Love and peace,
David