Cheddar's, Chapter 17
"That was an interesting evening," Adam mused as he and Parker were eating breakfast on Monday.
"Yup. I think we probably helped the parents with their reactions to Paul and Jim."
"I agree, but they already seemed pretty open to them."
"They're more like your family than mine!" Adam agreed. "I'm really happy for the guys. I'm glad they're going to be at the university with us. Even if we might not have any classes together, we can socialize. They're very hard-working, and not into boozing, so we can have fun with them and not get involved in the party scene."
"Any thoughts on the new renters?" Parker asked.
"I'm not impressed, at least not in a good way."
"Me neither; what signals did you pick up?"
"Well, they're freshmen taking summer school, and they don't act like they're serious about it."
"Aren't you a freshman starting soon?"
"Yes, but I didn't arrive in town last night with a buzz on."
"Are there more reasons?"
"From what I could pick up in their conversation, I got the feeling they're here on a probationary basis. I think their parents are alumni, and big donors, so they'll have a chance to prove themselves despite having less than a stellar academic record in high school."
"I got some of the same vibes."
"Well, duh, you're the psychology major, that's your field."
"Okay, I was trying to determine if my training made me more aware, or if it was obvious to a lay person such as yourself."
"Yup, even those of us outside your circle can sense some things. I wonder how long they'll last."
"I guess it's not our problem, if they pay their rent and don't burn the place down."
During their break from studies, the guys planned to take a few bike rides, and go to the rec center to take advantage of the facilities. Adam, in particular, was excited about trying the rock-climbing wall. Parker said they could use the steam room and sauna when their muscles needed relaxing from working out and biking.
Their initial plans had to be put on hold after Parker received a message from his mother saying that she was in the suburbs after flying back from Europe, and she wanted to see him before his summer classes began.
Joan used FaceTime on her phone, but the image wasn't very clear because the room she was in seemed to be rather dark. Parker wondered if her phone was acting up, because she was pretty tech-savvy and would likely have known that the image wasn't the best.
After they ended the call, Parker talked to Adam about the trip.
"I know you were planning to do some fun things during the rest of the week, so you're welcome to opt out of going if you want."
"Nope, I'll go with you. The things I'd planned wouldn't be fun without you. Besides, you're my soul-mate, so that `whither thou goest" thing applies."
"Oh, Baby, I love you so much. I hate to have you sacrifice on my account."
"It's no sacrifice to be with you, and your family. I want to get know your mother better, anyway. Remember, I've only met her on Skype, and that was last December."
"Okay, we'll throw a few things together and drive in tomorrow. It shouldn't take us too long to pack, because we won't be staying forever."
Again, the guys traded off driving. This time, Adam took more of the metropolitan traffic than usual. He handled it quite well, and felt more comfortable doing it than he had in the past.
"You're becoming a real pro," Parker complimented him. "Maybe we should sign up to drive big rigs from coast to coast next summer. We could see a lot of the country that way."
"I can't even imagine doing that! I'm sure you have to be at least 21 to get that kind of license anyway."
"Yeah, I suppose. You know I was joking, don't you? Much as I might like to share a sleeper-cab with you."
"Yup, that part sounds like fun, but I'd rather tour the nation in a small camper or something than to drive a semi. We could still share the sleeping space!"
When the guys arrived at Grandma's house, she met them in the garage. The grave look on her face suggested that she had unpleasant news to share.
"What's going on, Grandma. I can tell something's wrong."
"I hate to be the one to break this to you, but I don't want you to see your mother unprepared."
"Oh shit," Parker mumbled.
"Indeed, it is," Ellie said. "She has stage IV pancreatic cancer."
Parker bit his lower lip in an ineffective attempt to hold back his emotions. Adam wrapped himself around Parker's back, and Grandma embraced him from the front.
"Please try to get some of this out of your system before you go in to see her. You know how careful she is about her appearance, and you're going to have a tough time when you see how gaunt she is."
"I had an inkling that something wasn't right when we were on FaceTime together. The room was so dark. She's texted me, but hasn't Skyped in months."
"I'm sure she did that purposely to keep you from knowing how bad off she is. She's always been independent and proud."
"How long does she have?"
"The doctors in Europe gave her three months, but that was more than six weeks ago. She'd been at a clinic in Switzerland for some time attempting to find a cure. Last week, they told her it wasn't working, and that she should get her affairs in order."
"I'd better drop summer school; I have so little time to be with her," Parker sighed.
"I wouldn't rush into that. You might want school to occupy your mind so you don't dwell too much on her condition. I'm certain that she won't be around long, but you need to do whatever makes you happy."
"I can withdraw too," Adam offered.
"I don't want you do give up summer school on my account," Parker lamented.
"Whither thou goest..." Adam smiled.
"Let's dry your eyes, and get this first meeting over," Ellie suggested.
The guys both nodded.
Parker barely recognized the frail figure lying on top of the bed in one of the guest rooms. She had lost a lot of weight, but her makeup had been carefully applied. She reminded her son of a fragile China doll; however, he smiled as if things were perfectly normal.
"Son, you've become so mature in my absence! You look like a full-grown man."
"I'm more of an over-grown boy, I fear," he responded lightly. "I want you to meet my soulmate in person at last. Mother, this is Adam. Adam, this is my mom."
Adam squatted down by the bed and took her hand in his.
"Enchanté, mademoiselle," Adam said as he brushed her offered hand with his lips.
"Merci, mon cher!" she responded. "Parker, your boyfriend is a gem! That is so continental! If he were closer to my age, I'd be tempted to steal him away."
"Yup, he's the best! He continually amazes me with his genteel manners."
"I'd always hoped to be around to see you get married, but I'll settle for seeing you happy. I know I haven't been a part of your life for a long time. I'm so sorry I can't make it up to you."
"You raised him to be the sweet person he is," Adam interjected.
"I suspect my mother had more to do with that than I did."
"I'm sure that a child's character is pretty well formed before he's a teenager," Adam continued. "Please don't sell yourself short."
"You are so sweet!" Joan replied, holding Adam's hand in both of hers. "I'm very tired all of a sudden. Why don't you guys have a snack while I take a nap?"
"She looks like she'd break if someone picked her up?" Parker observed as he sat at the breakfast-room table with his grandparents and Adam. I think I need to stay for the rest of the summer, if that's not going to put you out."
"You're both always welcome, of course, but I can't believe she'll last that long." Edgar said.
"There are things I'd like to ask her," Parker sighed. "I feel like I've sorta put her out of my thoughts..."
"I'm sure you had to, in order to move on," Ellie reminded him. "She's a good person, but I don't think she was cut out to be a mother. It's nothing against my daughter, but the role simply wasn't a good fit, like being miscast in a Verdi opera when you're not a coloratura. Joan Forsythe isn't Joan Sutherland."
"That's a lovely way to put it, Grandma."
Parker's mother looked livelier when she joined the rest of the family for dinner. The nap seemed to have done her a lot of good. She teased with her son and his boyfriend, making them laugh with her. In addition, she played a game of Five Crowns with the family after the table was cleared.
At around 9:30, she retired to her room, but not before giving Parker and Adam a hug and a kiss.
The guys went to bed about half an hour later. They were tired from the day's events and the four-hour drive. Parker seemed optimistic after seeing his mother so lively; Adam saw it as an omen that the end was near, but he didn't want to spoil the mood. He snuggled behind his lover, gently holding him until the latter fell asleep. Adam lay awake for several minutes. As he went over the events of the evening, he felt that Joan's surge of energy had been like a flare-up from a dying ember. He hoped that he was wrong, but he didn't think so.
Parker and Adam were awakened around 8:00 by the sound of a siren in the distance. As it drew nearer, their hearts sank. They quickly peed and put on the shorts they'd worn the day before. As they were finishing, the sound stopped abruptly in the driveway.
"Grandma, is she worse?" Parker asked as they met in the hall.
"For us it may be worse, but for her, it's better. She's no longer in pain."
Parker nodded, but couldn't find his voice. Adam embraced him tightly and let him cry.
The EMTs went into the guest room, and came back out minutes later with a sheet-covered form on the gurney.
"Thanks, Ma-am for having the gate open, though I guess saving time wasn't all that important. We'll be transporting her to Good Shepherd, anyway."
"Can't you simply take her to Corcoran Funeral Home in Palatine? She's made arrangements there, and I know from looking at her that she's been dead for several hours."
"I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to do that. A doctor must sign a death certificate first. It's out of our hands."
"I understand. I'll call the funeral home so that they can deal with it.
"May I assume you won't need the siren when you depart? This is a very, um, quiet neighborhood."
"We will abide by your wishes."
After the ambulance left, the guys went back to their room. Parker seemed exhausted, despite having had a good amount of sleep. Adam helped him out of his shorts, and removed his own. Then they tumbled into bed and fell asleep with Adam snuggled up against his boyfriend's back.
They woke up about an hour later to the sound of a light tapping on the door. Adam made sure the sheet was pulled up to cover their nakedness before calling "come in."
"Do you feel like eating," Ellie asked from the doorway. "There's no future in wearing yourself down. You need to keep up your strength. It will all work out."
"I know, Grandma. It's just the shock of it all. I haven't been close to her in several years, but somehow, I thought we might have a chance to bond now that I'm an adult. There are many things I'd like to have asked her."
"She left a large manila envelope with your name on it. Perhaps there are answers inside. I hope you'll have breakfast first, so you can look at the contents without interruption."
"Okay, give us a few minutes to get decent. I might want a quick shower to clear my head."
About 15 minutes later, Parker and Adam showed up to the table looking presentable and ready to eat. Both had good appetites. Parker seemed more relaxed and cheerful. That probably had a lot to do with Adam's talk with him while they were dressing.
"Are there any plans in place for a service?" he asked his grandmother.
"Your mother requested a simple memorial service in the chapel of St. Michael's for the immediate family, and friends who might still live in the area, including your father and his husband if they wished to attend. She asked to be cremated immediately and not be put on display for viewing. I will respect those wishes. If you would like to have her prepped so you can see her again before that, I will call the funeral home to make the arrangements."
"No, I don't want to see her lying dead in a coffin. She wouldn't like that, and I respect her wishes too. I want to remember her laughing and playing cards. She must have had an idea it was her last night on earth, and she made the most of it. I should have picked up on that because I've read about similar reactions of people who take their own lives. Once the decision has been made, they display a sense of joy and peace. You don't think she opted out, do you?"
"No Dear, I'm fairly sure that she used up her last ounces of strength to fly home so she could see you again. When she'd accomplished that, she simply lay down and went into eternal rest."
"Thanks, Grandma. You've said the perfect words to put me at ease. I'll try to think of her happy and free of pain. It would be selfish of me to have wished her to stay longer."
Ellie nodded. "Even if you had, I don't think she had the reserve to do it. Would you like to look through the envelope in here, or in the den?"
"I think I'll use the library table in the den. I'll probably need the space."
Adam sat dutifully by his love as they looked through the contents of the envelope. There were several things inside.
A slightly smaller folder on top of everything else contained a notarized copy of Joan's last will and testament. Parker's eyes widened as he looked at the amount of money she had left him. He knew that his family wasn't poor, but he'd never considered the fact that his mother was a millionaire in her own right.
Between the two of them, Adam and he were quite wealthy.
Parker next perused a folder of loose photos. Several of them had been taken when he was a young child, before the divorce. They were beautiful records of a happy young family. It was obvious from their demeanor that his parents loved him very much. There were also school pictures from every year.
There were some notes and cards, and a couple of "works of art" drawn by childish hands. Parker smiled as he realized that he had little or no memory of these things that his mother had treasured, and preserved all those years.
Finally, there was a smaller envelope containing a flash drive. The note with it said that Joan had written a kind of history of Parker's life that she hoped would let him know how much he was loved.
Parker was eager to read it, but the guys hadn't brought any electronics other than their phones. At his request, Ellie brought her laptop for him to use.
Joan's efforts were indeed a history. The first few files contained family trees tracing Parker's ancestors back at least 10 generations on both sides. It was fascinating for him to see how many of them had been involved in the forming of the nation during colonial times.
A later file chronicled Parker's life up through his high school graduation. There were photos embedded, many of them duplicates of the loose ones, documenting events rather like a baby book.
The last file was filled with other miscellaneous pictures, each with a date and a bit of writing to explain them.
Parker was thrilled! Many things he'd wondered about were covered. What she hadn't had the time or strength to tell him in person, she had lovingly recorded through the years. He was beginning to feel closure and peace.
Author's notes: NPR is on a fund-raising kick. Don't forget Nifty when you're in a giving mood!
Thanks to all who emailed since last posting: GCD, Walt SZ, Paul F, Jack W, Ernest H, Wayne, Matthew R, Randy McC, Tom A, Skip M, Tony F, Larry S, JPC, Bill K, Michael D, Jim F, John L, Paul R, Jim W, David W, Zero M, Dick M, Mendy D, Charles G, Ray K, Ott H, and Douglas and Lawrence. Thanks for the encouragement!
Spring is coming yet in the Western Hemisphere. We're not as warm as we were a couple of days in February, but the birds a singing, and that's a hopeful sign.
David