This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 20 - Happy Ever After
'Shit!' Matt thought to himself.
"Matt?" Dave asked nervously, but matt wasn't listening.
The car pulled to a stop and Matt was already thinking about getting out. He saw Nick come down from the porch and walking towards the car. He was so happy to see him; and so worried about what Dave might say or do.
"Matt?" Dave repeated.
Matt turned to Dave. He wanted to get out; not sit there and chat with Dave, but Dave wasn't going to let him. Dave reached out a hand and put it on Matt's shoulder.
"I'm really sorry about what happened," Dave said, his eyes large and starting to water. He looked like a lost puppy.
Matt blinked.
"Uhh...yeah...it's okay...it was nothing, don't worry about it," Matt said, trying to look unconcerned. He gave Dave a smile and put his hand up and patted Dave's hand quickly. "Don't worry about it," he smiled, and turned quickly to open the door.
"But I..." Dave began just as Nick came up to the passenger door. Matt opened the door and Nick grabbed it and pulled it open.
"Hey!" said Nick, looking like he wanted to lean in and hug Matt, but stopping himself and just standing there with a big grin on his face.
"Nick!" Matt said, reaching out his hand. Nick looked down and then took it and they shook quickly. "What are you doing here?" Matt asked, his voice a little high and nervous. Matt was praying nothing would go wrong. He could sense that Dave was tense. He didn't know what Dave was doing or thinking, he just wanted Dave to go away.
"I was just passing by," Nick said casually.
Matt tried not to laugh. He sat there for a second with a big grin on his face, and then he glanced back at Dave. Dave was looking at Nick, his eyes squinting a little, his expression changed from sad to sullen.
'Oh, oh' Matt thought to himself.
Matt turned back to Nick and saw that Nick was looking Dave over.
"Hey, ahhh...Nick! This is my next door neighbor Dave," Matt said, waving towards Dave. "Dave," he said, turning to Dave, "this is...ahh...Nick."
"Hey there," said Nick, leaning into the car, his hand out.
Dave sat there for a moment, looking like he wasn't going to shake Nick's hand. But then he glanced at Matt, and he slightly shrugged his shoulders and reached out and shook Nick's hand.
"Hi," Dave said unenthusiastically.
"So you took Matt to the gym huh?" Nick said. He was standing right beside Matt; so close Matt could feel him brushing against him now and again.
Matt just wanted to get inside.
"Yeah," said Dave.
There was silence.
"Okay," said Nick.
"Hey, well Dave, thanks man," Matt said, putting out his hand to Dave. Dave looked at Matt's hand and then reached out and shook it. Matt tried to figure out what Dave was thinking, but he couldn't.
"I'll get your crutches," said Nick, and he went to the back and grabbed them, bringing them back to Matt as Matt worked his way out of the car. Dave stayed in the car, watching them.
"You okay?" Nick asked, reaching out and steadying Matt as Matt straightened up.
"Yeah," Matt said, looking up into Nick's eyes and smiling. They stood there for a second and then Nick flinched.
"Here you go," he said, hading Matt the crutches.
"Thanks," said Matt.
Matt put the crutches under his arms and stepped back a bit from the car, then turned and looked back at Dave.
"Thanks again Dave," he said.
"Yeah," said Dave.
"Nice meeting you," Nick said, closing the door.
"Yeah, you too," Dave called through the open window, and then he started the car and backed out of the driveway.
Matt stood where he was, watching the car go, feeling nervous; aware that Nick was right beside him and how much he wanted to hug him and kiss him, but that he couldn't do it.
Not yet.
The car drove off, Dave going back to the gym, and Matt turned to face Nick.
"Hey," he said softly, smiling at Nick.
Nick smiled back at him. "How's your thing?" Nick asked.
"My thing?" Matt laughed and Nick laughed with him. "My thing's okay!"
"Yeah?"
"It's to see you too."
"Oh it is?" asked Nick mischievously.
"Uh huh."
"Okay," Nick laughed.
"So what are you doing here?" Matt asked.
"I came to see how you were! You don't want me to come?" he asked, sounding hurt.
"No!"
"No!?"
"I mean...Dammit! You know what I mean! Yeah, I want to see you, just surprised, that's all."
"Oh, okay," Nick smirked.
"How long you here for?" Matt asked.
"Ahh, a day or so..."
"Oh, well you want to come in then?" Matt smirked.
Nick stared back at Matt for a moment, and then he smiled. "Yeah, okay," he said.
"Okay," said Matt, smiling and nodding. He set out towards the house with Nick walking beside him.
"So did you talk to my Mom?" Matt asked.
"What? No...no, I just got here actually. I was just going to ring the bell and I heard the car and turned around and then there you were."
"There I was huh?" said Matt.
"Yep, there you were."
They stumbled up the stairs to the door and Matt opened it and stepped inside, Nick following behind.
Matt saw his Mom come out of the Kitchen.
"Hello dear!" his Mother called.
"Hey Mom," Matt replied. "Oh, Mom, you remember Nick don't you?"
Matt saw his Mother's eyes narrow for a second, and then a somewhat forced smile appeared on her face.
"Hello Nick," she said.
Nick nodded his head. "Hi," he said quietly.
"Is Dave with you?" Matt's Mother asked.
"No. No. Ah...he had to get back to the gym."
"Okay," his Mother replied. She waited for a second and then added. "Well I'll just get back to....nice to see you again Nick," she said, and then she was gone.
"Oh..nice..." Nick began, but she had already disappeared. "Uhh," Nick blushed, and turned to face Matt. "Sorry," he said quietly.
"What?"
"I don't think she likes me," Nick whispered.
"That's 'cause she thinks you tried to kill me!" Matt said, reaching out and lightly punching Nick.
"I guess," Nick said, not looking so sure.
"Come on, help me upstairs."
"Okay."
Nick helped Matt up the stairs and into his bedroom and then ran back and brought up his crutches. Matt was still sitting at the end of the bed when Nick came in.
"Close the door," Matt said to Nick as he entered.
Nick closed the door. He hesitated for a moment.
"Lock it," Matt whispered.
Nick reached out and locked the door, then he turned and smiled at Nick.
"I've missed you," Matt whispered, smiling at Nick.
"Me too," Nick smiled. He leaned the crutches against the wall and walked over to sit down beside Matt. He turned and looked into Matt's eyes and they smiled at each other.
Nick leaned slowly forward.
"I've missed you so much," Nick whispered.
Matt closed his eyes as Nick came closer. Their lips touched softly for a moment and then Matt opened his mouth as Nick wrapped his arms around Matt. Nick's tongue slipped inside for a brief second and then slipped back out and Nick pulled back just a bit and gave Matt a quick kiss on his lips.
Matt sat there, his eyes closed, waiting for Nick to continue, but Nick pulled away and Matt opened his eyes and Nick was sitting in front of him, watching him. A wide smile on his face.
"Hey," said Nick softly.
Matt smiled nervously. "Hey," he whispered back.
Nick's hands slid down Matt's arms to his hands. Nick took Matt's hands in his.
"So how are you?" Nick asked.
"I'm good."
"Your leg?"
"Oh...getting better I guess. Hard to tell!" Matt smiled and looked down at his leg, then back up at Nick.
Nick stared back.
"So...ahh...I was kind of surprised to see you," Matt said nervously.
"Yeah?" said Nick, his smile getting a little tight. "Why?"
"What?" Matt asked, puzzled.
"Why you surprised?"
"Oh, well I didn't...you didn't tell me you were coming up or anything. I just never expected it."
"Oh," said Nick, sitting there and staring back blankly.
"I'm really glad you came," Matt added hastily. He watched as Nick looked absentmindedly around the room "I was just a little surprised," Matt added. "How long you here for?"
"Mmm?" Nick said, turning back to look at Matt "Oh, huh, not sure..."
"Not sure?" Matt asked surprised, and a little confused.
"Oh a couple of days if that's okay with you," Nick said seriously.
Matt sat there staring at Nick, and then he laughed and reached out and grabbed Nick. "Okay?" he laughed. "Of course it's okay!"
"Okay!" Nick laughed, falling against Matt. They hugged tightly and then started kissing again.
"I've missed you," Matt whispered.
"Uh huh..." Nick groaned through kissing lips. Nick's arms were wrapped around Matt, squeezing him tight. A hand slowly slid down Matt's chest to his groin and squeezed.
"Uh uhh..." Matt groaned, wondering if the door was locked and whether they should risk doing something. He ran his own hands down Nick's back to the top of Nick's jeans, and then slowly came around to the front so that he was holding on to the top button at the front. He paused for a moment and then unbuttoned it.
"Careful," Nick teased, pulling away for a moment and then leaning in to kiss Matt again.
Matt continued to unbutton the rest of the buttons, feeling his way with his hands as he kept kissing Nick, his eyes closed. After unbuttoning most of his way down, Matt slipped a hand up and under Nick's shirt, feeling Nick's stomach and rubbing gently. Nick sighed against him.
Nick was continuing to gently squeeze Mat trough his pants with one hand as he held him close with the other arm, slowly running it up and down Matt's back. Nick kissed Matt's lips, slowly chewing on Matt's lips, wrestling with his tongue.
Matt slid his hand downward to the waistband of Nick's boxer shorts. He slipped his fingers under the band and slowly down, feeling Nick's hard penis brush against the back of his fingers. Matt continued moving his hand down until his fingers touched the base of the shaft, and then he turned his hand around and wrapped it around the shaft, squeezing gently.
Nick sighed.
"Oh God!" Nick whispered.
"Like that?" Matt teased.
"Yeah, oh, just keep doing that..." Nick groaned.
Matt continued to squeeze the hard fleshy tube as he felt Nick's hand sliding up and into his own pants. Nick's fingers slipped into Matt's underwear and touched Matt's erection and Matt sighed against Nick.
"Oh God!" Nick was moaning.
Matt kissed his way up to Nick's ear as he continued stroking. He paused at Nick's ear for a second, and then he whispered.
"I wanna suck you."
"Oh shit!" Nick groaned. They were both lying naked on Matt's bed.
"Here," Matt laughed, grabbing a box of tissues and handing it to Nick.
"Thanks," Nick said, grabbing a few and wiping the cum from his chest and stomach. "God you make a mess," Nick laughed as he wiped.
"I make a mess!" Matt smirked.
"Well this isn't all me!" Nick grumbled.
"Oh I'm sorry," Matt said, and he grabbed a handful of tissues and started wiping Nick, rubbing his chest firmly.
"Hey! Be gentle!" Nick complained.
"I am! I am!"
"Yeah!" Nick laughed.
They finished cleaning up and tossed the tissues in a pile on the floor to be thrown out later. Then Nick turned and wrapped his arms around Matt and they settled back on the bed, lying side by side.
"That was good," Matt sighed.
"Yeah," Nick agreed.
"I'm so glad you came."
"I like to cum."
"No! I mean came to see me!"
"Oh yeah! That too," Nick said seriously.
Matt playfully punched Nick and Nick flinched, as though protecting himself from a body blow.
"Hey!" he grumbled.
"Smart ass," Matt said, sticking out his tongue.
Nick laughed and wrapped his arm back around Matt and they lay there together.
"So how are things?" Nick asked.
"Okay, not much going on," Matt answered casually.
"Uh huh..." Nick nodded thoughtfully.
They lay there in silence for another moment.
"So what's the story with Dave?" Nick asked.
"Dave?" Matt asked nervously, sitting up a little.
"Yeah. Dave," said Nick, turning to face Matt with a self-satisfied grin on his face. "You know, the guy that drove you home."
"Oh yeah..." Matt almost choked on the words. "Yeah, just friends."
"Just friends? I thought you said he hated your guts?"
"Did I say that?" Matt asked suspiciously.
"Well something like that."
"No, no...he doesn't hate my guts," Matt smirked. "Maybe he wants to pull them out of my stomach and grill them, but I don't think he hates them."
Nick grinned. "Huh," he said rolling over to face Matt.
"It's easily confused," Matt went on. "He probably doesn't even eat guts....I don't think he's a cannibal..." Matt looked thoughtful. "Nope, never seen him eating anyone."
"No?"
"Well there was the neighbors kids..."
"The neighbor kids?"
"Yeah, down the street. They have ten kids. Kept disappearing. It was awfully suspicious now you come to mention it."
Nick laughed. "Okay, so he's not a cannibal."
"No. What about you? Are you a cannibal?"
"Uh...no, I'm not."
"Okay, so that narrows down the choices for dinner then."
"Yeah," Nick agreed.
Nick reached out and slowly and gently ran a finger down Matt's bare chest.
"Uhhhh..." Matt mumbled. "So what you want to do about dinner?" Matt whispered huskily.
"I don't know," Nick shrugged, running his finger back up Matt's chest, gently up his neck and over his chin.
"There's lots of choices, we could..."
Nick moved his finger over Matt's mouth.
"It's hawrd to twalk wike thwis," Matt mumbled.
"Yeah," Nick smirked.
Nick stared into Matt's eyes for a moment.
"So what about Dave?"
Matt's shoulders slumped.
"What about Dave?" Matt asked.
"I just wanna know..."
"There's nothing to know. He's been taking me to the gym. I think it's some perverse sadistic thing. He grew a conscience or something. Either that or my Mother is paying him behind my back."
"Okay," Nick said.
Matt sighed. "Okay he's...look he's just been taking me to the gym. Honest! I've been trying to get rid of him but he won't take no for an answer."
"Why don't you just tell him to piss off?" Nick said, looking concerned.
"I...well I don't like to hurt his feelings."
Nick rolled his eyes.
"What?! I don't" Matt exclaimed, sitting up.
"Okay, well that's really nice of you, but you're going to let him walk all over you?"
Matt looked thoughtful.
"I guess..." Matt began slowly. "I guess, you know we used to be friends and I was kind of curious."
"Curious?"
"If we could be friends again."
"Oh...okay," said Nick a little sadly.
"No! Not that, just friends."
"Okay," said Nick, not looking convinced, and staring down at the bedspread.
"Hey, it's true," Matt said, reaching out to gently squeeze Nick's shoulder. Nick looked up hopefully. "I need all the friends I can get! I don't have everyone wanting to be my friend."
Nick smiled. "Yeah? You could have as many friends as you wanted if you weren't so prickly."
Matt stared back at Nick for a moment. "You calling me a prick?!" Matt gasped, pretending to be outraged.
Nick laughed and reached out and hugged Matt. "No! You know what I meant. You're like a hedgehog, you put up your defenses when ever someone comes near you."
"No I don't!"
"Yeah you do," Nick smiled back with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.
"Well anyway..." Matt began, changing the subject.
"So that's all there is?" Nick interrupted.
"All there is?"
"Between you two?"
"Yeah...uhh..." Matt paused.
"What?"
Matt took a breath. "The other day he told me he was gay."
"He did!" Nick exclaimed. "Wow!
"Yeah..." Matt said thoughtfully.
"Okay," said Nick.
"Uhh..."
"What?"
"He uhh...." Matt began.
There was a long silence.
"He kind of..." Matt began, "Kind of made a pass at me."
Matt blushed, looking at Nick and wondering what Nick was thinking.
"He did?"
"I told him I wasn't interested!" Matt added hastily.
"Okay," Nick said. "What'd he say?"
"Oh it was..." Matt paused.
Nick sighed. "Just spill it, okay?"
"Well...we were in the shower and..."
"What!" Nick exclaimed, almost jumping off the bed.
"Wait! No!" Matt tried to grab Nick to keep him from moving away. "He just, he tried to touch my chest."
"And what did you do?" Nick demanded.
Matt stared back at Nick. "I told him 'no,' okay?"
Nick stared back angrily.
"Fuck!" Nick hissed between clenched teeth.
"Nick! Nothing happened. I told him no and he stopped and he apologized later. I think he was just lonely because he broke up with his boyfriend."
"I don't fucking believe this!" Nick said. He stood up beside the bed and glared back at Matt.
"Nick, nothing happened. Honestly."
"So you knew he was gay?"
"Uh..yeah..a few days ago," Matt said. He tried to pull himself to the side of the bed. He wanted to get up and confront Nick, but it was difficult with his leg in a cast.
"So you're in the shower with him?" Nick almost spat.
"Nick! Nothing happened."
"You didn't even tell me he was gay the other day."
"I didn't think it was important...." Matt began and then paused. "Please Nick, nothing happened."
Nick stared back coldly. "No wonder you didn't want to come down to New York."
"What?"
"This is just some fling for you. Have some fun with Nick Carter," he almost spat.
"Um, look," Matt began, trying to be calm. "That's not at all what's going on. I can't...how can you even think that?"
"I don't know," said Nick, "what am I supposed to think?"
"Well you can...damn..."
They both were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Matt swallowed hard. Damn! Had they been so loud that someone had heard them? Was that his Mother or his Father?
"Matt?" came the sound of Dave's voice through the door.
Matt glanced at Nick. Nick was standing by the bed, naked, staring at him, still looking angry.
"Uhh," Matt began.
"Fuck!" Nick hissed, and he suddenly began looking around for his clothes.
Matt quickly looked around for his own clothes while trying to get under the covers. He saw his t-shirt lying on the ground.
"My shirt!" he hissed at Nick. Nick was pulling his jeans on, hopping on one leg.
"What?" Nick asked, looking up.
"My shirt! Can you get my shirt?"
Nick finished pulling up his pants and leaned down and picked up the t-shirt and threw it at Matt. Hard.
Matt put his hand up and grabbed the shirt, glaring back at Nick, but Nick was already turned around and picking up his own shirt.
The knock came again. "Matt?"
"Hang on!" Matt called out.
Matt pulled on his shirt and straightened up the covers. He looked over at Nick, who was now facing him again, buttoning up his shirt. He wanted to say something to Nick.
"Can you get that?" Matt asked quietly.
Nick stared back for a second. "Sure," he said, looking down to quickly straighten his clothes. He looked up at Matt as though seeking approval, but before Matt could say anything he turned and went over and opened the door.
Dave stood in the doorway, his face blank.
"Hey, is Matt here?" he asked casually.
Nick stared back just as casually. His eyes slid down Dave's chest and then back up to his face. "Hang on, I'll check," he said, glancing over his shoulder.
"You here?" Nick asked.
Matt rolled his eyes. "Yeah!"
"He's here," Nick said, turning back to face Dave.
Dave stood there, seemingly unsure what to do. "Well uh..." and then he leaned to the side so that he could see Matt behind Nick. "Hey there," he called to Matt.
"Hey Dave," Matt called back casually.
"I uh..." Dave began nervously, stepping forward, glancing at Nick, and then continuing on past him. "Sorry...your Mother said you were up here and it was okay to come up..." Dave glanced back at Nick, who had remained by the door, leaning against the edge casually, and watching Dave's every move.
"It's okay," said Matt, wishing Dave would go away, but also wondering what Dave wanted.
Dave stopped in the middle of the room, glancing around casually.
"You painted," he said, looking back at Matt with a wry smile.
"Yeah...ah Dave...what do you?"
"Oh, yeah," he smiled, and held up the plastic bag he was carrying. "You left your clothes in the car."
"Oh," Matt said, blushing a little. He glanced back at Nick, but couldn't quite see what Nick's expression was as Dave was right in front of him.
"Yeah...uh...were shall I....?"
"I'll take them!" Nick said, walking up to stand beside Dave.
Dave turned his head towards Nick. "Okay," he said, holding out the bag.
Nick took the bag from Dave and turned and tossed it on the dresser, then turned back to Dave.
"Anything else then?" Nick asked quickly.
Dave stared back blankly, then he turned back to Matt.
"So...uh...you okay?" he asked Matt.
Matt stared back at the two of them. Dave staring at him with a hopeful expression on his face while Nick stood there glaring at Dave.
"Yeah Dave, I'm okay."
"Okay," he nodded.
Nick was still standing very close to Dave, but Dave was doing his best to ignore him even though it was obvious he was aware Nick was there.
"Okay," Dave repeated.
"Dave, thanks for bringing my stuff back," Matt began. "And thanks for taking me to the gym."
"Oh sure," Dave smiled slightly, shifting from one leg to the other. "It was...," he glanced over at Nick. "Any time," he said.
"Yeah well...I think I might take it easy for a while," Matt said.
"Oh!" Dave said, the smile collapsing and his shoulders slumping.
"I just..." Matt glanced at Nick and then back at Dave, "I think it's better that way Dave."
Dave stood there for a moment, his lips pursed, and then he nodded. Matt wasn't sure, but he thought it looked like his eyes watered a little.
"Yeah, well..okay....," Dave whispered. Then he glanced at Nick one more time. "Well I'll just...uh...see myself out. Take care of that leg Matt."
"I will," Matt nodded.
"Okay," said Dave, seeming to gather himself together. "Well I'll see you around."
"Yeah Dave, thanks."
"Sure," Dave nodded. He turned towards Nick.
"Uhh?" Dave hesitated, putting out his hand.
"Nick," Nick almost hissed, holding out his hand.
"Dave," Dave said, taking Nick's hand and shaking it quickly.
"I know," Nick said.
Dave turned and walked to the door, stopping for a moment and turning back to Matt.
"See ya' Matt," he called.
"Bye Dave," Matt waved.
Dave glanced one more time at Nick and then went out the door.
Matt watched Dave leave, then glanced over at Nick. Nick was standing there frowning, and Matt dreaded what was coming next. Nick looked over at Matt, his face now expressionless, then he turned and walked towards the door.
Matt felt his heart in his throat. Nick was going to walk out. Just like that. He wanted to say something. Wanted to stop him, but the words wouldn't come. He just sat there watching him go.
Nick got to the door and then he stopped. He stood there for a moment, as though thinking, and then he pushed the door closed, and reached down and locked it. Then he turned around and faced Matt.
Matt lay there staring back at him. Not sure what was going to happen next.
"Well," said Nick, smiling a little and starting to walk back towards the bed. "That was fun!" he grinned.
Matt sat there speechless for a moment, and then he smiled too.
"Well I wasn't..." Matt began.
"It's okay!" Nick held up his hands. "It's okay...you don't have to...I'm sorry about before."
"You are?"
"Yeah, I just got...I was jealous and I just assumed the worst. I'm sorry."
Matt stared back at Nick. "Okay," he said quietly.
Nick came over and sat on the edge of the bed. Then he reached out his hands to Matt. Matt reached out to Nick's and they grasped each others hands.
"I really am sorry," Nick whispered.
"Okay," Matt nodded as they hugged.
"So I'm going back to Florida tomorrow," Nick said.
"Oh," said Matt, his stomach suddenly feeling empty again.
"Yeah," Nick nodded. "Got some stuff to do, and then off on tour."
"Uh huh," Matt nodded.
Nick stared into Matt's eyes. "So, I was thinking maybe you could come down for a bit..."
"Oh Nick," Matt sighed.
"No wait!" Nick interrupted. "Just come down for a few days. Stay as long as you like, or for as little...."
"I don't know..."
"Stay a couple of days and then come back home if you want. Or you can stay and come on tour if you want."
"On tour?"
"Yeah, you can be....uhh..." Nick looked thoughtful, "you'll be my assistant."
"Assistant?" Matt asked doubtfully. "I...don't you already have one?"
"You can never have enough assistants," Nick smirked. "The more you have, the better. Anyway, you can be a gofer or something."
"A gofer! Sure!" Matt laughed, slapping his leg.
"Well, you'll get better!"
"Yeah."
"So why not?" Nick asked.
"I don't know, I just...it's scary, you know?"
Nick looked at Matt thoughtfully and squeezed Matt's hands. "I know," he said softly, "But just coming down for a couple of days...would that be so hard?"
Matt sat there thoughtfully for a moment. "I don't know," he finally said.
Nick shrugged. He tried to smile, but it looked forced. "Okay," he said a little sadly.
"I'm sorry," Matt whispered hastily. "I'm just...I don't know....I don't....meeting new people really scares me and it's just...."
"I'll be there," Nick said softly.
"I know!" Matt said sadly, looking down. "I'm sorry. I want to...I just....I don't know."
"Okay," Nick nodded. "Its okay Matt."
Matt looked up nervously.
"It's okay Matt," Nick repeated.
"I'm sorry."
"Why don't you think about it?" Nick asked.
"Think about it?"
"Yeah, take a little time. You can let me know tomorrow....hell, you can change your mind any time you want. I really want you to come....but only if you want to and feel comfortable."
Matt looked into Nick's eyes and smiled. "Okay," he said softly.
Nick smiled back, and then he leaned in towards Matt.
The Pop Tart was just a little burnt. Not enough to throw away, but enough to make it taste a little like charcoal. Matt chewed on it thoughtfully, trying to wash it down with large gulps of milk. He thought about making himself another one, but he couldn't be bothered.
It had been an exhausting night. He'd hardly gotten any sleep. After Nick left to go to his Hotel, Matt had thought a lot about what Nick had asked him.
But he couldn't decide what to do. The idea of going to Florida was frightening. What worried him more was the idea of not going; would he lose Nick forever if he didn't go? Nick swore that he wouldn't, but Matt worried.
"Hey!"
Matt looked up in surprise. Dave was standing in the doorway.
"Hi," Matt nodded at him. Dave stood there glancing around. He looked as though he expected Nick to appear from somewhere.
"Can I...Can we talk?" Dave asked nervously.
"Ah...yeah...sure," said Matt. "Uh...maybe not here though," he added, thinking that he didn't want his Mother coming in while they were talking.
"Wanna go for a walk?" Dave asked.
Dave parked in the lot and Matt thought absentmindedly about the last time he'd been down there with Nick. It had rained....they'd kissed. Matt shivered for a moment.
"Want to get out?" Dave asked.
"Uh...sure," said Matt.
Dave got out and came around to the passenger side. He grabbed the crutches from the back and held them while Matt climbed out.
"Here you go," he said, handing them to Matt.
"Thanks," said Matt.
"You want to go down to the lake?" he asked.
"Uhh," Matt thought about going down to the lake, but it would be difficult with the crutches. "Let's just sit," he said, walking over to the grass and finding a place to sit. There was no one else around so he wasn't worried about being overheard.
Dave came over and crouched down for a moment, then he sat down a little away from Matt.
They both sat there staring off at nothing. Matt was waiting for Dave to say whatever it was he wanted to say.
"I'm sorry," Dave almost whispered.
Matt was silent for a moment. "Okay," he said finally. "You don't have to be sorry," Matt said. "I know you...want to be more than friends."
Dave turned and looked at Matt and shrugged. "Yeah, just too bad I'm not some big star," be said bitterly and turned away.
Matt groaned inside. He'd wondered if Dave would figure it out.
"It's not that," Matt said.
"It's my lack of personality then," Dave said dismissively.
"No!" said Matt, and he reached over and shoved him.
"Than what?" Dave demanded, turning to face him.
"It's...I'm sorry...I'm just, I think I'm in love with someone else."
"Well that makes me feel better," said Dave, looking off into the distance again.
"I'm sorry Dave."
"Yeah, okay," he turned and smiled weakly at Matt. "I guess I can see why you'd want him over me."
"Uh...look I'm sorry. You just...Nick and I have been...for a while now....and then you..."
"It's okay, I understand," Dave interrupted.
"Okay." Matt said. "I'm sorry Dave."
"Yeah, it's okay," Dave said, and he let out a little sigh.
There was silence for another minute.
"So when you seeing him again?" Dave asked.
"Uh...well he's going off to Florida today," Matt said.
"Yeah?" Dave said, a sudden hopeful look on his face and Matt suddenly felt uncomfortable again.
"He...he asked me to go down with him," Matt added.
"Yeah?" Dave frowned. "You going?"
"I don't know," Matt said.
Dave looked amazed. "You don't know?" he asked.
"Uhhh..."
"So you don't like him?"
"I didn't say that!"
"He asks you to go with him and you aren't going to go!" Dave asked, an almost stunned expression on his face.
"It's not that simple!"
"No?"
"No!"
"No?" Dave repeated. "Why not?"
"Well, I've got.....well there's my leg."
Dave screwed up his nose. "Your leg is going to be the same here or there. I don't get it."
"I won't be much good there," Matt pointed out.
Dave smiled. "So Nick is only interested in your leg huh?"
"No!" said Matt, then he saw the smirk on Dave's face and he laughed a little too.
"Well there's my parents and..."
"Your parents! Huh! Your Dad will be glad to get you out of the house!" Dave joked.
"Thanks!"
"Just tell them you got a job and they'll be pleased for you."
"Thanks," said Matt, thinking of the job Nick had talked about.
"Ask Nick if he'll give you a job, I'm sure he will..."
"He already did," Matt interrupted.
"Huh!" Dave laughed. "See! I told you!"
"Yeah, yeah," said Matt.
They sat in silence again.
"Matt. Would you...if you hadn't met Nick...would you have given me a chance?" Dave asked quietly.
Matt looked over at him and smiled. "Uh...well I don't know," Matt said seriously, "I've always thought you were a big jerk."
Dave stared back for a moment, and then he grinned. "Yeah, well I'd be a good match for an asshole like you."
Matt smiled. "Doubt it, but if it doesn't work out, maybe I'd let you buy me lunch."
Dave smiled. "Okay."
"You okay?" Nick whispered into Matt's ear.
They were sitting in first class. Matt had the window seat and he'd been looking out at the activity going on around the plane. It didn't make him feel any more confident about flying, but it took his mind off the situation.
They'd ended up flying out a day later than planned. After he'd got back home he'd called Nick and told him he'd changed his mind. But he'd have to tell his parents, get things together, pack, and tell his parents. There was no way he could leave that afternoon. He'd suggested following Nick down, but Nick had said he'd change his flight to the next day.
Telling his parents he was going away for a few days on a vacation had been the original plan, which he'd mostly stuck to, though he'd also hinted that there might be a job. That way he had all his options open. Really, it had gone much easier than he'd thought it would.
Of course, his parents just thought he was going down to spend a few days with a friend. Admittedly a friend he'd only recently met, who had run him off the road. His Mother still seemed to regard Nick with some suspicion, but there hadn't been any real resistance...
"You okay?" Nick asked again.
"Yeah," Matt said, turning to smile at Nick.
Matt was feeling nervous, but he tried not to show it.
"Great," said Nick.
Nick smiled and Matt wanted to kiss him, but he knew he couldn't. Not in public.
Nick draped his jacket over the armrest between them. Matt looked down and then looked up at Nick, who smiled at him.
Matt slipped his hand under the jacket and felt Nick's hand underneath. They interlinked fingers and Nick squeezed gently.
"Okay?" Nick asked.
"Yeah," Matt sighed.
"Cool," Nick smiled. "You're gonna have a great time, trust me."
"I do," Matt smiled, squeezing Nick's fingers as the plane taxied out to the runway.
Nick smiled, then mouthed the words 'I love you' to Matt.
Matt smiled. He wanted to do the same, but was worried someone would see him.
He just nodded instead, then added, "Me too."
And then he heard the sound of the engines as they ran up to full power and he was pushed gently back into the seat. He squeezed Nick's hand tightly and tried to breath calmly. Soon the plane would be in the air and he would be on his way to the next adventure.
He wondered what was going to happen. How it would turn out. Would it be a couple of days of fun and that was it, or was it going to be much more than that? He didn't know, but he wanted to find out.
He looked forward to finding out.
"It's gonna be okay," Nick whispered softly.
THE END
EPILOGUE
Dave had seen Matt a couple of days before. He'd driven past and seen him, but Matt hadn't seen him, and he hadn't stopped to say hi. He didn't know why. He just couldn't.
But then he walked out that morning and there was Matt picking up some garbage by the fence. He nearly just climbed in the car and drove off, but something made him turn and walk over.
"I didn't know you were the new trash man," Dave said to Matt's back.
Matt stopped, straightened up, and turned around.
"Hey Dave," Matt said.
"How's things?"
"Okay. You?"
"Good," said Dave, looking around, almost expecting Nick to appear. Matt looked off into the distance and crumpled up the paper in his hand.
"So...how long you back for?" Dave asked.
"Back for?"
"You visiting or..."
"No, I'm back."
"Back? For good?"
"Well, I don't know about for good," Matt laughed. It was a forced, almost sad laugh.
They stood there in silence.
Matt turned back to face Dave, and Dave caught his eye and stared at him intently. Matt tried to smile, but he looked sad.
"You wanna go for a drive?" Dave asked.
Matt shrugged. "Okay," he said.
Dave pulled the Jeep into the edge of the lot. Matt stared around. 'Back at the damn parking lot,' he thought. He climbed out and followed Dave slowly towards the lake.
"So what happened?" Dave asked quietly.
Matt shrugged. "Nothing to tell," he said.
"Okay."
They walked down to the beach and stood there looking out on the water. Matt looked at Dave, shrugged embarrassedly and turned away.
"It's cool Matt. You don't have to talk about it if...I didn't bring you down here toÉ"
"No, it's okay...I..." Matt paused. Dave waited, but Matt didn't say anything.
Dave knelt down and picked up a few stones and then walked down to the waters edge and threw one. The stone skipped twice and disappeared.
"Shit!" he exclaimed.
Matt came up beside him. Both of them stood staring out into the lake as Dave took another stone and threw it.
"It didn't work out," Matt said quietly.
"Sorry," said Dave, throwing another stone.
"Yeah," said Matt, breathing out heavily.
"What happened?" Dave asked, turning his head to face Matt.
Matt stared back at him. He shrugged. "It was..." he smiled a little uncertainly. "It was amazing the first few weeks...and he was great and..." he shrugged, "I dunno...I just couldn't take it."
"Take it?"
"The whole life style. I thought it would be fun. After a couple of months it was just exhausting. I hardly ever saw him. He was tired...I was tired. We fought a lot."
"Sorry."
"And..." Matt paused, and Dave pursed his lips in sympathy. "Nick wasn't...I don't think he was quite as committed as I was."
"Committed?" Dave repeated, unsure what Matt meant.
"I know he loved me," Matt said, almost to himself. "At least I think he thought he did, but there were a lot of...temptations..." and Matt trailed off and looked away.
"Sorry," said Dave quietly.
"Yeah, well..." Matt looked back to face Dave, his eyes watering and he rubbed his hand across his eyes.
Dave started to move to hug him, but Matt turned away and Dave just stood there, watching him. Then he turned and threw another stone into the lake.
Matt turned back and smiled nervously at Dave.
"What a jerk," Dave spat, and Matt smiled.
"I guess," Matt nodded, looking around for something to pick up and throw, but there was nothing near by.
"Fucking asshole," Dave cursed, throwing the stone. "I knew he was no fucking good!"
Matt half smiled. "It wasn't his fault, he...well I hardly knew him, you know? It happens."
"Yeah," Dave nodded, "but why did he have to fuck it up for us?"
Matt jerked back in surprise and stared at Dave. An expression of sadness passed over Dave's face.
"Sorry," Dave whispered.
"It's okay," Matt said quietly.
"It's just...I...I wonder if he hadn't come along, maybe we could have..."
Matt shrugged. "Maybe...I don't know, you know? I mean he was just...I'd been so...he was like my fantasy guy, you know?" and he closed his eyes and thought about Nick for a moment.
"Well you want Nick so bad, why didn't you stay with him then," snapped Dave, and he turned and stormed off.
Matt opened his eyes and stared after Dave blankly. Another person angry with him. Why were people always angry with him? He was always messing up. When he tried to make other people happy he messed up, and when he tried to do things for himself people got angry at him for that too. There seemed to be no answer.
Matt walked down the dock to stand beside Dave. He was sitting, his feet dangling off the end, the water up to his ankles. Dave looked up at Matt and then looked back out towards the lake.
"I'm sorry," Dave said quietly.
Matt sat down beside him, pulling off his shoes and putting his feet into the water. He slowly moved his feet back and fourth.
He looked at Dave, but Dave wouldn't face him. He leaned slightly towards Dave, their shoulders touching, but Dave pulled away. Matt straightened up.
"I'm sorry," Matt whispered.
"You don't have to be sorry," Dave said.
"I know you...wanted to be more than friends."
Dave turned and looked at Matt and shrugged.
"Yeah, just too bad I'm not a big rock star," be said bitterly and turned away.
Matt groaned inside.
"It's not that," Matt said.
"It's my lack of personality then?"
"No!" said Matt, and he shoved him.
"Than what?"
"Nothing! It was just...he was my fantasy, you know?"
"Well that makes me feel better," said Dave.
Matt reached out and clipped him on the head. Dave turned and frowned and Matt sneered back in an exaggerated manor. And then they were wrestling against each other, pushing and shoving. Dave shoved and they both tumbled into the water.
"Fuck," Dave yelled. He stood up and turned to see Matt, who was wiping the water out of his eyes. Dave laughed. Matt looked at him and started laughing too. He put his arms around Dave and the two melted together.
They kissed. Their mouths joined, their tongues pushing back and forth. Their hands running up and down each other's bodies.
Dave shivered.
Matt pulled away, "You cold?" he asked.
"No, I'm hot," he grinned.
Matt smiled. "We should get out and dry off."
"Yeah," Dave nodded, looking sad. Matt leaned close to him and whispered in his ear.
"Why don't you come home and dry off?"
"You sure?"
"Yeah," said Matt.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why you want me to come over?
"Because I like you?"
"Or is it because Nick isn't available?"
"Nick was never available,"
"That's not the point."
"Okay. Look, Nicks notÉNick was a fantasy. I can't live a fantasy."
"Matt I...I don't want to be someone's consolation prize. I want to be someone's fantasy."
"ButÉ"
"No...it's okay," he paused. "Thanks Matt," Dave said, hugging him tightly. He was crying. "It was...I'm glad we can be friends again...I just can't..." and he pulled back, looking sad.
Matt stared at him, and then nodded slowly.
"I'll take you back, ok?" Dave said quietly.
"Okay," Matt nodded.
------------------------------- To everyone that's written; thanks! I really appreciate it. I'm sorry I haven't always replied. Partly, I've been embarrassed about not finishing 'Do What Your Can,' so if you wrote about that, now you know why I didn't reply(!)...
At the moment I am working on a new story. I'm not sure how it will be published. Watch my website for details or email me to go on my mailing list...
http://www.geocities.com/jasoncalme/index.htm
------------------------------- Before you send me hate mail: A note about Chasing Matt
This was a seduction story. Unlike other stories I have written, it was written for, and to someone. And it was written 'live' in chat over the course of many weeks (I saved each section and edited it later.)
I was in love with him. But it failed, and now he's with someone else...
I think there can be no greater failure as an artist. I can't help but wonder if da Vinci was secretly in love with the subject of the Mona Lisa. It's said that she was the wife of Francesco del Giocondo. I wonder if he won her? Or if the painting, long considered the greatest ever made, was also, ultimately, a failure?
It gives me some small comfort to think these things...you move on as best you can.
I had a lot of trouble 'finishing' the story. It had gotten in the way of finishing 'All The Ways I Love You' and 'Do what You Can'; derailing the editing of one, and the completion of the other, and now it seemed that I had a third story going nowhere. So I took the cowards way out and finished it with them flying off together...the happy-every-after ending. It seemed like a good point to end it...
Time passed, and the story continued to gnaw at me. A few months later the ending (the Epilogue) came to me. I didn't want to do it; I know most people don't like unhappy endings. But it kept begging me to be written. It wanted to be told.
Maybe I wanted to kill it. Maybe I'm still carrying around the emotional baggage and thought putting a spike in it would make me feel better. A simple prop to occupy my mind.
It didn't work...but it's done. Thanks for reading...