Chasing Chasez 07
Hey everyone! Looks like things weren't as bleak as I portrayed it to be! Here's chapter 7, just over a week from my last posting! Don't get used to it, though.
Piloting is fun! I've made new friends, learned so many new stuff. I barely have had time to write, so please excuse the substandard quality of this chapter lol! I can't help but feel it's merely a filler...there will be more fireworks in coming chapters, I swear!
As usual, I can be reached at whang@time.net.my
Disclaimer: I don't know them! Who are they? Everything below this line is a work of fiction.
CHASING CHASEZ, Part 7
by Will Ang
I jumped out of my seat and rushed to the door, deeply disturbed by what I was just thinking. I flung it open, hoping that the sight of my girlfriend--my girlfriend--would make me forget why I wanted so much for JC to be attracted to me
There she was, as pretty and as cute as ever, beaming at me. I almost sobbed in relief at the sight of her.
"J, darling!" she flung her arms out. I bent forward and quickly offered her a kiss on her lips, a routine we do whenever we see each other.
I pulled away just as quickly, though. I felt JC's presence looming behind me, unseen yet every bit as tangible as if he were before me. Britney peered behind my back and caught sight of him as well.
"Joshua!" she cried. Pulling away from me, she ran over and gave him a tight hug, squeezing with all her strength. He seemed surprised by such a display of affection, but he returned it.
"Hello, Brit," he smiled. A bit forced, I thought.
"Oh, Josh, Jus told me everything. You are very brave," she said. "It takes a lot to say something like--"
He shrugged, cutting her off. "It was more of an 'in the heat of the moment' kinda thing. I--"
He broke off, looking away. And I just realised then, with a burning sensation in my heart, that he had just stopped short of saying that he regretted telling us about it.
"And I'm so sorry about Dylan," Britney was saying.
"Yeah," he said throatily. He looked back at her, then closed his eyes.
Britney laid a hand on his arm. "If you ever feel the need to talk to someone...someone who can honestly say she's got lots of gay friends--"
"God, everyone seems to wanna just talk with me these days, don't they?" he snapped irritably. "I get it, Britney. I doubt I'll take you up on that offer, but I get it. Thanks anyway." He looked at my stunned expression, and continued, "I'll just leave you with your boyfriend. I think I'm turning in for the night."
He glanced at me one more time, his expression unreadable, before stalking off upstairs.
Britney turned to me then, disappointment clear in her eyes. "I tried, J, I really did," she said, her voice trembling. "But lately he's always been like that to me."
I felt a new surge of anger at his behaviour. On top of fucking everything he had to fucking make my girlfriend fucking cry.
"I'm gonna go beat the sh--"
"No, no, it's okay, J," she laid a restraining hand on my arm. "I--maybe I overreacted. Maybe he's still grieving and I touched a sore spot by mentioning his Dylan."
"But he's always like that to you! You said so yourself. You only try to be nice and he's barely even civil!"
"I don't know, J. He wasn't always like that, though."
I took her hand in mine, understanding the part she didn't add. He wasn't always like that, only when you and I hooked up.
"Anyway, I've done my part," she waved a hand in the direction which JC had gone. "I don't have to please him, he's not my boyfriend. You, on the other hand..."
I grinned at her, relieved that she could brush it off with such ease. She pushed me back onto the couch, snuggling against me, her head on my shoulder. It was such a comfy feeling, having someone lean against you. Besides, she smelt nice. And believe me, after five years of living with four other guys on a bus, I learnt to appreciate nice-smelling people.
We sat there for a while, watching something on Discovery, but not really paying attention to it. We were more like drinking in each other's presence. We hadn't been with each other for a few weeks now, and it felt right to just sit there and do nothing. Especially after the kind of day I just had.
I realised that JC and I hadn't really gone anywhere with regards to his secret boyfriend and sexuality. Sure, he'd opened up a little, but what he'd told me--coming out to his family, losing his virginity--still didn't explain how he finally hooked up with Dylan and why he felt it was so important to keep it from me.
In a funny way, I could understand it a bit. Looking down at Britney, I recalled how our relationship had started, and how much we resented having to keep it under wraps. When she told me she had feelings for me, and that she thought we should go out together sometime it seemed the most natural thing to announce it to the world. Starting from my 'best friend' JC, in fact. I still remember him telling me I'd be crazy not to appreciate a kind, smart, sweet and babelicious (who uses that word nowadays?) girl like that.
The thought twisted my lips into a wry smile. Since when had he become an expert on women? But he was there to help me ride it out. There were publicists to consult, management to deal with, and about a million other factors to be taken in before we could even appear publicly, both from my side and Britney's. I hated every second of it, hated having to give ambiguous answers to the 'Britney' question, and most of all I hated reading the same thing when they interviewed her. It was only when they deemed the public accepting enough, and that it'd be a huge publicity boost, that we were finally allowed to tell the truth.
"I can hear you thinking from here," Britney said into my chest.
"Naah. Just going over my day, that's all. And thinking of you, of course."
"Oh, puh-leeze, J."
But she was smiling.
"So tell me all about your day."
So I did. With feeling. And as I ranted on, she gave more and more soft, sympathetic noises and burrowed ever closer to me, until she was practically sitting in my lap by the time I'd finished about our encounter with the cop.
"Poor thing," she murmured, her large eyes looking up into mine with a now-familiar hunger creeping into them. "Such an eventful day. You need to maybe loosen up..."
To have one of the hottest women on earth say that to me had everything to do with the racing pulse I suddenly developed. True, we were both still virgins, but I saw nothing wrong in making each other feel good at least. Besides, there was that certain thrill which came with doing things forbidden.
Her lips met mine and her body gave no resistance as I let my hands rove gently over its soft curves. Somewhere in the corner of my mind, a dry, dispassionate voice wondered why would any guy give this up for something like their own. Okay, maybe some men were, admittedly, hot. Like JC. But he was...so hard. All tight, toned muscles, strong jawlines...and such sensual lips I could just imagine wrapped around--
I jerked back from her as surely as if I'd been stung.
Britney's eyes flew open in surprise as I retreated away from her, her kissed-swollen lips still parted.
"J? What's wrong?"
Oh God, what was I supposed to say? That I was thinking of JC and his lips even as I was swapping taste buds with her?
"God...I'm--I'm so sorry, Brit. I just...well, I don't think it's right to do this under Josh's nose...under his own roof, even."
Lame = Justin Timberlake
To my surprise, she leaned away from me and nodded. "Yeah I know what you mean. But maybe...we could go to your place..." she twined a finger into her hair wistfully.
Normally that act would have driven me to distraction, but the moment--heck, the whole evening--was lost for me. I tried my hardest not to let it show, but something had to be said for a woman's intuition. She pulled further away from me, disappointment in her eyes for the second time tonight.
"Fine. We'll just talk I guess. Still, it's good to be near you after so long," she said with a too-bright smile.
Thank god she decided to look the other way. Brit was a sweet, loving, non-confrontational girl-next-door. Almost exactly like the image she tried to portray. Well, the girl-next-door-who-flaunts-her-belly-button anyway.
But I wasn't really in the mood for anything at all, suddenly. Between JC and his screwing up of my mind, I'd just about had enough for the day.
I frowned. Was it really fair to just blame him for screwing up my mind? Was he responsible for putting all those...thoughts...in my head?
"Justin, you're a million miles away tonight," Britney sighed.
I blinked in consternation. "Sorry, Brit. Long, long day." What was this, lame excuse day?! "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"Really? How?"
"It's...a surprise." I had absolutely no idea what I'd do. But I knew I'd better make it good, looking at her current expression.
"Okay. I'll go now, then. Sleep well, J, and take some time to think up something good," she gave me a hard look.
Busted!
"It will be good. I promise."
"You promised twice already, J. Don't think I'm not keeping score."
Smiling, I gave her another kiss, a light, brushing one that we used for parting.
"Then I'll give you promise number three, then. I promise that you'll love it. Drive safely."
I watched her drive away with mixed feelings in my heart. What the fucking shit just happened? Britney was all a guy could ask for. Heck, she was so much more than that! And I loved her.
Didn't I?
Okay, so maybe JC being gay was a big fucking deal to me after all.
I sat down on the porch chair, feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world. There I spouted words such as it doesn't matter and you're still my best friend while in fact, deep down I'd experienced a fundamental change in my perception of him. I suddenly regretted not going off with Britney, because now I had to face JC, and he'd know, somehow, that I'd be looking at him differently now, and not in the way I'd described so nicely.
But if I had to face the harsh light of truth, I would say that I was more deathly afraid of facing JC because of myself. Afraid of facing him because of what I'd already been thinking of, and what else I might imagine. And most of all, what I might do.
I buried my head in my hands, feeling despair creep slowly up on me.
Remember, it's Will at whang@time.net.my