Please don't read if you are offended by gay sex. The usual disclaimer applies.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
"I'm sorry about what I said," Misha said softly, lying in Brian's arms. He knew Brian was exhausted after the concert and had let him take his shower in peace, after assuring him that he wasn't going anywhere. They lay together in Brian's bed, the only light in the room coming from a lamp in the main room, whose faint warm glow reached just into the little bedchamber. "I don't know where all that came from," Misha continued, stroking Brian's damp hair. "I mean, I don't like having to keep our relationship in the closet, but I can see where you're coming from." "You were upset when you saw me watching Nick," Brian said quietly. "Okay," Misha admitted, "yes, I was." "Mish, I still care about Nick, and I still have feelings for Nick. That can't just disappear overnight." "I know," Misha said, pulling away from Brian. "That's what worries me." "I want to be honest with you," Brian said, stroking Misha's face. "I consider myself to be with you. We are a couple. I am not with Nick. But I'm still going to look at him, and think about him. And I hope, one day, talk to him." "I'm sorry, I hate being such a jealous bitch," Misha said with a groan. "But I can't help it. I want you all for myself." "You have me," Brian smiled, kissing his neck tenderly, "I'm all yours."
"Hey, I thought you were tired," Misha laughed, as Brian's strong hands felt their way down his body, sliding into the top of his boxer shorts and over his ass. "I must have gotten rejuvenated somehow," Brian chirped. "Must have been the bath gel you gave me." "Damnit," Misha laughed, "I knew that was a mistake." "Lucky lavender." "Lisping lilac." "Gay goldenrod." They both giggled and shared a sloppy kiss. Brian pulled Misha's body closer to his and they ground their hips together slowly, their cocks meeting through two layers of thin fabric. "Oh Brian," Misha sighed, as his partner nuzzled his neck and planted fairy-soft kisses on his collarbone. "If you don't stop, I'm going to have to..." "To what?" Brian whispered in his ear, sliding his hands up Misha's shirt and caressing his chest, hooking one leg around Misha's and pressing their hips closer. "To do this," Misha said, turning Brian over on to his back and kissing his way down his torso. "Mish," Brian sighed, running his hands through his hair, "I want to make love to you." Misha ignored him and took Brian's thick, very hard dick in his hand, squeezing it gently and licking the head of it before sucking the tip into his mouth, coating it with wetness and enveloping it in delicious heat. Brian moaned loudly and bucked his hips up, thrusting into Misha's mouth. Misha teased Brian's ass with one finger, pressing against the puckered, sweaty hole as he went down further on Brian's curving dick, letting it press against the back of his throat as Brian fucked his mouth harder and harder. "Oh, God," Brian was grunting, "oh, don't stop, yes..." Misha slid one long finger into Brian's ass and tried to swallow the thick spurts of cum that filled his mouth and throat. "Ahh, God!" Brian threw his head back, his back arching with pleasure as he came. He looked down at Misha, who was wiping away glistening strands of semen from his mouth as it dribbled down to the bedsheets. "Yum," Misha laughed as he slid back up to Brian and cradled him in his arms. "Double yum," Brian said, kissing him deeply and tasting his own cum in Misha's mouth. He fought off sleep momentarily, but soon he found himself lost in heavy drifts of unconsciousness. "It's okay Bri," Misha said softly, stroking his back. He could sense that Brian was trying to stay awake to return the favour. "Just go to sleep, baby."
Kevin had just put on a new CD, something in the sexy R&B category, feeling pretty buzzed and mellow, but not tired. He'd had a few cups of espresso while going over paperwork and then started drinking Scotch. All in all, he was in an uncharacteristically chipper mood. The show had gone well, the guys all seemed to be basically getting along, as long as Nick and Brian didn't have to talk to each other or look at each other. Somebody banged on the door, breaking his train of thought. "Who is it?" he asked suspiciously. "D, it's Nick, let me in." Kevin opened the door and Nick lurched forward drunkenly, looking completely confused. "Oh Kevin. I thought this was Howie's room." "No, it's Kevin's room. What do you want?" Kevin shut the door behind him, just as a precautionary measure. You never know just how clever fans can be. Nick looked disheveled and smelled like alcohol, wearing a white t-shirt and track pants. "I was going to get ice, but I don't know where the machine is," Nick was saying, "but I forgot the ice bucket, and I locked myself out of my room." Kevin just stared at him for a minute and then he laughed in Nick's face. "You are such a fuck-up." "I wasn't going to tell you," Nick said irritably, "I thought you were Howie. I mean-" "I have ice," Kevin said, "come sit down."
Nick followed Kevin over to the couch and sat beside him, watching intently as Kevin poured Scotch into a glass. "No water," Nick said. Kevin looked up at him. "Please." Kevin smiled and put two ice cubes in the glass before he handed it to Nick. He splashed a little sparkling water in his own whiskey before raising the glass. "Cheers." They both tossed back the liquor in one gulp and Nick rubbed his nose, since one of the ice cubes had crashed into it. "Damn ice," he said, trying to fish it out of the glass. "Who needs it." Kevin laughed at him and took the glass away, dumping the cubes back into the ice bucket and then refilling it. "Why thank you Kevin," Nick said with a little smirk. "Why certainly, Nickolas," Kevin smirked right back. They clinked glasses and finished off another round. "Why are you being so nice to me," Nick mumbled as Kevin poured out the last of the whiskey into the two glasses. "Beats the crap out of me," he said. Nick burst out laughing. "You look like you were getting laid," Kevin said, motioning to his hair. "I wasn't," Nick pouted, "I'm a good boy." "No," Kevin said, sliding closer to him, "you're a slut." "Do you like sluts?" Nick smirked. "They come in handy sometimes," Kevin said. They stared at one another, two sets of blurred vision coming into focus. Kevin's sparkling, crystal green eyes bore into Nick's deep, reflective ocean blue eyes, and without thinking, their lips met.
Nick's hand found the back of Kevin's head and he prolongued their kiss, wrapping his tongue around Kevin's and sucking it before drawing back with a reluctant final lick of Kevin's lips. They stared at each other again, tasting the alcohol in each other's mouths and feeling their hearts beat hard in their chests as a rush of sexual excitement swept through their bodies. They had kissed like that once before, lost in a lustful fog, backstage at an awards show. Neither of them could have said how they ended up in each other's arms or what drove them to kiss so passionately and so desperately, but when they broke apart, they had both been in shock. Two years later, they relived that moment, all too aware that no matter what history lived between them, they were both single and available for much more. Without speaking, they began to kiss again, this time more wildly, and quickly began to tear each other's clothes off. Nick found one of Kevin's nipples and sucked at it hard, biting the nub of it and nibbling at Kevin's hard chest. Kevin sighed loudly; it had been too long since he had been touched like that. One hand grabbed Nick's silky hair and the other tugged at the waistband of the blond's pants, pushing them down and taking out his long penis, stroking and rubbing it lovingly. "You're so beautiful Kevin," Nick said softly. His tongue slid down to Kevin's belly button and he sucked and nipped at the tight skin of the tall man's firm abdomen. "You want it, don't you," Kevin hissed, pulling Nick up by his hair and kissing him hard on the mouth. "Yeah," Nick gasped, "fuck me, I want your cock up my ass." They wrapped their arms around each other, kissing and biting at each other's lips excitedly, and rolled right off the couch and onto the floor, where Kevin yanked Nick's pants off, shoving him down and then getting up with some effort. Nick grabbed at Kevin's legs clumsily, but the brunet stumbled over to the other side of the room. Nick's face brightened when Kevin returned with a box of condoms.
Nick straddled Kevin's lap eagerly as the older man sat up against the couch, carefully rolling the condom down over his long, thick cock. Nick slowly sank his bottom down on Kevin's dick, groaning with pleasure and effort. "Fuck, you're big, ahh, god, Kevin..." Kevin let Nick take all of his cock up his ass and ride up and down on him once or twice before his sexual need became too much, and he rolled the blond over and began to fuck him hard, thrusting deep into Nick's ass and slamming him up against the legs of the glass coffee table. "Fuck, oh! Oh!" Nick yelled, panting and groaning while the more taciturn Kevin just let out occasional grunts, beginning to sweat as he shut his eyes, concentrating on pleasuring himself. Nick grabbed at Kevin's shoulder and then he punched Kevin hard on the arm as he came. "Oh, God! Yes!" He punched Kevin again and began to cry. Kevin took no heed and just kept thrusting, slamming harder and faster into Nick and grabbing the blond's hips roughly as his cum shot out again and again, pulling out while he was still hard.
Nick moaned and rolled over on his side. "Damn," he said, "that was a good fuck." "I'm going to take a shower," Kevin said, looking at himself rather disgustedly. "Since you came all over me." Nick crawled over to him and gave him a sloppy kiss. "I couldn't help it," he said, "I had a huge cock up my ass and a hot guy fucking me." "Don't do that," Kevin said, and he got up. "What?" "Kiss me." He walked to the shower and Nick lay there for a minute before following Kevin in. "What are you doing, Nick?" "I have to shower too." The bath tub was large, certainly big enough to accomodate two people, and since they were both very drunk, they got in awkwardly, clinging to each other for balance. Kevin pressed himself up against Nick, whose back was to the wall, and they kissed each other again, both of their dicks quickly growing hard again as their wet bodies slid up and down against one another. Kevin licked Nick's lips and gave him a meaningful look, turning Nick around. The blond willingly bent over, spreading his legs and grabbing on to one side of the frame for support. Kevin began to press his dick in again, and Nick groaned as his insides adjusted to the older man's girth. Kevin was so aroused that he couldn't take it slowly, and he grabbed on to Nick to steady himself and began to fuck him hard again. The warm water pelted their bare bodies as Kevin's pace slowed and he went deeper in, pulled further out, and went deep again, his cock giving Nick unbelievable pleasure and fullness. The combination of alcohol and a previous orgasm made this fuck seem to last forever, and by the time Kevin came, Nick was on his hands and knees in the tub, the water streaming down his face and practically drowning him, while Kevin kneeled against him and finally let out a loud moan as his cum was released. "Fuck," he groaned, and rested on Nick's back. They both felt very dizzy and tired, and found it extraordinarily difficult to stand up again in the tub.
Nick leaned up against Kevin, feeling the effects of his drinking more than ever, but Kevin kissed Nick's neck and wrapped his hand around Nick's cock. "No Kev, it's okay," Nick groaned, but as he said it, Kevin was already on his knees and taking Nick's half-erect dick into his mouth. Kevin licked up and down Nick's long dick, raking his teeth gently along the underside of the shaft and fondling Nick's balls as he felt Nick swell in his mouth. Nick staggered slightly and found his balance leaning against the wall and grabbing one of the faucets. After so much relentless fucking, it felt good to have Kevin's hot mouth paying such tender attention to his cock, and Nick quickly felt himself begin to throb in Kevin's mouth, rock hard and aching to cum. Kevin took the swollen head of Nick's dick in his mouth and sucked it as he rubbed the base, sensing that Nick was going to cum soon if he kept going. Kevin reached around to a shelf behind him and picked up a container, unscrewing the lid and taking out a smooth plastic dildo. Nick's eyes were shut, but they shot open when Kevin began to slide the tool into Nick's ass. "God no," Nick moaned, "Kevin, stop, don't." His ass couldn't take any more, and he winced as Kevin shoved it further up his body. Kevin began to suck harder on Nick's cock, letting his tongue slide around it and tease his slit before taking him deep into his throat, fucking him viciously at the same time, and Nick groaned louder and louder, in a completely disembodied ecstasy of pain, pleasure and intoxication. He grabbed Kevin's hair in one hand and yelled, "oh God, I'm cumming, oh, yes, yes!" He screamed, producing only a few small spurts of cum but feeling as though his body were exploding, like fireworks, ripped apart from the core and disintegrating. Kevin slid the dildo out of Nick's clenching ass and discreetly spat his mouthful of semen out into the tub. Nick moaned, clutching at his stomach.
The two men dragged themselves out of the tub and into bed, wearing only bath towels and with their hair still wet. Their long arms and legs lay over each other's bodies and they both drifted into a heavy sleep, completely exhausted. Kevin woke up first the next morning, fumbling over to turn off the alarm and realising that the lump in the bed next to him was in fact a person and it was Nick. "Oh crap," Kevin groaned, falling back on the pillow as he remembered the events of the night before. "I can't believe I slept with Nick." "Mmmph?" the lump said. "I said, I can't believe I fucked you." "What the hell did you do to me," Nick mumbled, "were you trying to kill me? I'm not gonna be able to walk." "Sorry," Kevin said without much sincerity. "I didn't think it would be a problem for you." "What's that supposed to mean," Nick frowned, feeling his hair with one hand and trying to figure out what it might be doing, something very frightening, he was sure of that much. "I thought your ass was sort of like a McDonald's drive- through," Kevin said, "you know, over one billion served." "Shut the fuck up," Nick said, getting up and clutching the towel in front of himself for some semblance of dignity. "Where the hell are my clothes?" "I don't know and I don't care, just get out of my room." "Fuck you, Kevin." Nick's voice cracked ever so slightly as he said it, and after he left, Kevin lay there in the half- light feeling very confused.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"Well, fancy meeting you here!" Seth slapped the taller man on the back as he stood beside him at the buffet. Nick turned around and took a few seconds too long to snap to. "Oh fuck!" he laughed, "holy hell!" He hugged Seth tightly and actually picked him up off the ground. "You big ape, you!" Seth chirped in a lisping voice, and slapped Nick lightly on the chest. "I heard you guys were back on tour and in Europe, but this is just too fucking odd." They were both scheduled to appear on the same Austrian talk show on the same day, which Seth had just found out since he'd seen a set list. "Yeah, we just got here, aren't you working on some movie, I thought you were in France, we're going to France next-" Nick rambled quickly, and Seth gathered from the vacant, glassy look in his eyes that he was almost too high to remember to breathe. "You are polluted," he laughed. "I gotta remember to stay away from you. You boy bands are a bad influence." "We're a bad influence," Nick repeated stupidly, laughing. "The dark side. Come to the dark side." "I don't go to that dark side," Seth laughed, "come sit down, you butt munch. How the hell have you been?"
"Mr. Green, you are on in fifteen minutes," an English-speaking assistant said, tapping the actor on the shoulder. "Cool, just keep me posted, okay?" Getting a blank look, he rephrased. "Let me know when it's ten minutes, and five minutes. Cool?" "Ja, it's cool." "Damn foreigners," Seth said to Nick, who burst out laughing. "Yeah, I just wrapped with Miramax, it's - get this ... a romantic comedy. But I just had a bit part." "Pizza delivery guy." "Yeah, something like that." "I bet you get an Oscar." "Shut up!" They laughed together and Nick wiped his nose with his sleeve. "You been seeing anybody?" "I was," Seth said, "this chick named Lisbeth. She turned out to be kind of a ho." "Damn women." "Like you would know. So what have you been up to, besides snorting the Matterhorn up your perfect boy band nose?" "I, what? Matterhorn? Isn't that a ride at Disneyland?" "You are such an airhead." "I am not! I think it's a roller coaster." "It's a mountain." "They named a mountain after a roller coaster?" "Yes, Nick. EuroDisney." "Ah, my head hurts..." "Don't think, Nick. Thinking sucks." "I wasn't thinking." "Good."
Dani hung up the phone angrily and went to find Misha. He was in the first place she looked, which was Brian's suite. "Hey Dani," Brian smiled. He was buttoning up his shirt as he opened the door, and she glanced around with a smile. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" "No, not at all," Brian grinned, "come on in." Misha was sitting on the bed going through some batches of photographs. "Hey Dani, we were going to go for a walking tour around the city. Want to come with?" "Sure... it's okay for Brian?" "I'm going incognito," Brian said, holding up a false mustache. "Oh lord," Dani laughed. "As long as we don't get lost and show up late for the show tonight, I think we'll be fine," Misha said. "Let me go put on some sneaks," Dani said. "But Mish, I just got a phone call which I think you two should know about." They both stopped in their tracks, looking at her anxiously. "It was from Dave, my friend back in the City who works for the Associated Press." Brian sat down on the edge of the bed, swallowing hard. "Misha, somebody doesn't want to let the story about you and Brian go, and they're releasing some information about you." "What about me," Misha gulped. "I don't know exactly, Dave is trying to find out." "Shit." "I know, it's not going to be pretty around here." Brian walked slowly to the window. "Bri, are you okay?" Misha asked. "I don't know," he said. "I don't know if I want to go out anymore." "We can't just sit around in here. Brian, it's out of our hands right now. And we're in Vienna. Let's just go see the city." "Fine," Brian said quietly. All three of them had the same unspoken thought; this would never have happened if Brian had stayed with Nick.
"So if my sources are correct, and I think they are," A.J. said, sprawling out on the couch arrogantly, "Nick will be doing his next solo concert when we are in France. But it's not clear whether or not Aaron is involved." Lorna cleared her throat and glanced nervously at her husband and business partner. "Yes, A.J. That is correct. As we told you all, we're not hiding anything here. Nick and his mother feel that it's in his best interest to continue a solo presence." "You're not hiding anything?" A.J. laughed. "It's not exactly common knowledge." "We don't want to enable any petty rivalries," Clive said snootily. "Look, I'm not playing around," A.J. said, leaning forward. "That following weekend, I am going to be doing a solo show in New York City. You don't have to do anything except keep your mouths shut and cover for me." "A.J., we all agreed that nothing would happen behind the other guys' backs," Lorna smirked. "Oh, they'll find out once it happens," A.J. said. "I want it to be a surprise. That's all. If you don't agree, well, then I'll have to reschedule it to the same date as Rome." "No way," Clive said. "Rome is going to be one of the biggest concerts in history. You are not missing it." "I might get a really bad sore throat that weekend if I don't get my solo show," A.J. said. "We'll talk about this more," Clive said as the singer got to his feet. "I'm sure we will," A.J. replied. "After all, we all have our 'interests' to protect."
"Nick, are you in there? Open up." Kevin listened at the door and ran over in his mind again what he wanted to say to his bandmate. "Oh, it's you," Nick said. "Can we talk?" "It's not a good time," Nick said, trying to close the door in his face, "I have to get ready for the show." Kevin forced his way in. "I really think we should talk." Nick shook his head and stomped over to the couch, plopping down dramatically. "Fine, Kevin. Why did you ask if it's not a fucking question. What do you want. I'm in a really bad mood, so just say it and leave." "Nick..." Kevin groaned and sat down on a chair across from him. "Look, about last night, I..." Why weren't the words coming to him? Nick had his arms wrapped around his body and he was slightly rocking himself back and forth, bouncing with irritation. "Just say it, Kevin! God, I'm busy, okay?" He got up and then sat back down almost as quickly. "What are you so busy doing?" Kevin snapped back. "Looks like you're doing nothing to me." "Okay, that's it," Nick said, walking to the door and holding it open. "Get out." "Nick, close the door, we have to talk about this." "So talk." "Nick, just shut the door. Please?" Nick slammed it instead and just stood there glaring at Kevin. "Come on, sit down, Nick. Calm down."
Nick flung himself down again. "You need a drink," Kevin said. "What do you want? Kevin, just tell me what you want!" Nick yelled, increasingly agitated. "Nick, I wanted to say, just, well, we shouldn't have done that last night. It was a mistake." "Yeah. No shit! Thanks, Kevin. Thanks for the tip. Thanks for-" "Calm down, God!" Kevin went and sat next to Nick and rested a hand on the younger man's shoulder, but Nick jerked away from him. "Don't." "Look Nick, I came here to talk to you about this rationally. So just stop flipping out." Nick sighed and his face drooped, his eyes brimming and full of pain. "I'm sorry," he said, putting his head into his hands. "I'm just not feeling very well right now." He slumped down lower. "Nick, I had too much to drink and I got a little carried away..." "It's okay," Nick sighed. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that," Kevin said. "You didn't, Kevin. I wanted it." "I know but... I mean, you were so drunk and I knew that you would." Nick backed away from Kevin and stared at him. "I know you think I'm a whore," he said, "you don't have to keep reminding me." "I didn't mean it that way." "Yes you did," Nick said, and he kissed Kevin on the lips.
Kevin shut his eyes. It felt so good. "Nick..." he said quietly, "you shouldn't do that." "I always thought you were hot," Nick said softly, running his hands through Kevin's hair. "From the first time I saw you." "You were just a kid then," Kevin said, gazing into Nick's huge blue eyes. "I was grown up enough," Nick said, and his warm tongue found Kevin's neck as he took in the scent of the tall, beautiful man's cologne. "I was attracted to you too," Kevin said very quietly, and he began to stroke Nick's soft, curving stomach and hips underneath his shirt. "I know," Nick sighed back, kissing Kevin's ear and neck. He slid down on the couch, lying on his back, and wrapped his legs around Kevin's as he pushed Kevin's ass down on to him, biting Kevin's ear lobe and tugging at his earring. Kevin felt his erection pressing painfully into his jeans, hard and throbbing to enter Nick's body again. Nick shut his eyes, feeling the electricity between them, wanting only to shut out the clutching sadness and loneliness that was overwhelming his life, to feel close to somebody, to feel wanted and loved. "Fuck me Kevin," he whispered, "I want you so bad." "Do you have a rubber," Kevin said softly, and Nick knew that he would get his wish. "Yeah, okay." Kevin stripped quickly and as soon as his cock was sheathed, he forced himself into Nick's tight ass, popping in to find erotic bliss there, fucking the young blond roughly, using Nick's body to try to find some kind of deeper satisfaction.
"Pleased to meet you," Dani said, shaking Seth Green's hand. The actor, who was apparently a friend of Nick's, had come to the show in Vienna and was hanging out backstage. "I loved you in those Austin Powers movies." "Ah yes," Seth grinned, "those were great. An entire cast of totally insane people." "So how do you know Nick?" "I'm one of his many lovers." "Oh," Dani said. "No, joke, kidding. We met at Planet Hollywood a couple of years ago. I had no idea who he was, and I found out at the end of the night that he was this super famous pop star and I was like, ruh roh, because I'd been treating him like he was just a big dork." Dani laughed. "He probably liked that." "Yeah, I think he did. Besides, he is a big dork." "I guess you're right," Dani laughed. She had never really thought of Nick that way. "We just get along in this weird way," Seth said. "The other guys are cool too. I love A.J. He's a sick puppy." "Yeah," Dani blushed. "He's my favourite Backstreet Boy." They laughed together and waited for the guys to head out for the night.
"Oh, hey Seth," Brian smiled, "wazzup?" "Not too much. Just wrapped a new flick, and then I'm off to Cali to read for a TV show." "Cool, good luck, man." They slapped each other on the back, and Misha came up to be introduced. "This is Misha Heinemann, he's working with Dani on a photo book for the tour." "Good to meet you," Seth said, "you're the new Mrs. Littrell, eh?" Misha shot Dani a look, but she shrugged. "Hi Seth," Kevin said with a polite smile. "Kev. Hey Howie." "Hey!" Howie hugged him tightly. "Are you partying with us tonight?" "Hell yes. Ain't no party like a Backstreet party." They all burst out laughing, except for Kevin, who looked faintly irritated. "Where's Nick? Kevin, did you drown him in the shower?" Kevin gave Seth a really weird look and just said, "I have no idea." "I'm not really up for partying tonight," Misha said to Brian. "I wasn't planning on it," Brian said, "besides, they're probably going out to clubs." We can't do that together, they both thought. Not unless we go with Dani and Leighanne, and never spend a moment together, just the two of us... "This is bullshit," Misha said to himself. Nick showed up and headed out with A.J., Dani, Howie and Seth to hit the Vienna nightclubs. Kevin found himself alone once again, and tried to find solace in song writing, picking out melodies on a steel string guitar. But he found his mind wandering back to the guilt and confusion he felt when he looked into Nick's beautiful blue eyes and saw his own face mirrored there.