Chameleon

Chameleon 13

Chameleon

By Mickey S

If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. This is a fictional story and all characters and events are a figment of the author's imagination. My thanks to Tim and Drew for all of their help. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.

Chapter 13

Declan's kiss didn't leave me stunned for long. A few seconds after he left the barn I ran after him, calling to him across the road.

"Whoa! Stop right there! You can't just do that and walk away. You've got some 'splainin' to do."

Declan stopped and waited for me, grinning all the time.

"I guess I do owe you an explanation. I'll tell you everything while you fix supper."

"While we fix supper, you mean. You're gonna help me."

"Okay, but I'd better warn you, I'm not very good in the kitchen."

"As long as you tell me what that kiss was all about I don't care about your culinary skills."

I checked on Dad when we got into the house. The man who didn't need a nap was dozing in his chair, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. The dogs had obviously been sleeping together on the couch but their heads raised up upon hearing the front door. They jumped down and followed us into the kitchen.

"We're going to have stir-fry so all you have to do is chop veggies. Think you can handle that?"

"As long as I don't chop off a finger I should be okay."

I got some vegetables I'd picked from the garden that morning out of the refrigerator, quickly rinsed them off in the sink and put them in front of Declan, along with a cutting board and a sharp knife. I put a pot of water on the stove for the rice and took out some boned chicken breast and started slicing that on another cutting board.

"Okay, get to work. And talk!"

"There really isn't that much to explain. I'm bisexual, that's all."

"That's all? When were you planning on telling me this? I came out to you that first dinner we had together."

"That's why I didn't tell you about me. We were just forming a friendship and I didn't want to complicate things with sexual tension."

"You just automatically assumed I was attracted to you? No problem with your ego, is there?"

The fact that I'd been turned on by him since the first day I'd seen him in middle school didn't stop me from accusing him of having a big ego. I was over my shock and was starting to get a little pissed that he'd held out on me. I was pleased to see that the usually confident jock was a bit out of sorts.

"I didn't mean that, Silas. What I meant was, well, I've always been attracted to you and I was afraid that if I told you I was bi you'd think I was saying it because I wanted us to have sex. I didn't want you to feel obligated to have sex with me even if you didn't want to."

I couldn't imagine not wanting to have sex with Declan but I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.

"Just because two guys are gay, or one gay and one bi, doesn't mean they have to sleep together."

"I know that. But we were just starting to get to know each other and, like I said, I didn't want any possible sexual tension to get in the way. I enjoyed spending time with you and I wanted to get to know you in more than a sexual way."

The idea of having sex with Declan was starting to get me aroused and before it became too evident I wanted to get the conversation away from the whole idea of him and me together.

"So, you say you're bi. Are you out at all? The only stories I've heard about you have been strictly hetero."

"I know I've got a reputation. Some of that's my own doing. In high school I was afraid people would find out about me so while I didn't exactly flaunt my straight sexual activity I didn't try to hide it either. But I wasn't totally in the closet. I was doing one of the guys on the soccer team and one of the wrestlers as well."

"You're kidding! Guys in our class were doing it with other guys? Who?"

"I'm not outing anybody. One of them has been married for years now and the other doesn't live around here anymore. It doesn't really matter who they are."

"And what have you been up to since school? Again, I've only heard about women."

"Well, it's easier to meet women, especially out here in the country, so there have been a lot more of them. And all of my relationships have been with women, though I've had one night stands with both men and women. I go into the city now and then and there's a gay resort in the Poconos I go to occasionally."

"But you were gonna get married."

"Yeah, I thought I  was in love with Kara. But I made the mistake of telling her about being bi. She seemed to handle it okay at first but after a while she broke it off. Said she didn't want a buttfucker as the father of her children."

"She actually said that?"

"Yeah, she did although she wasn't seriously nasty about it. At least she didn't say fudge packer." He grinned. "God knows what she would have said if I'd told her that when I was with guys I preferred being a bottom."

And that was the end of trying not to get aroused. Just the thought of that hot little ass being fucked made me hard instantly. I turned to the stove to hide the bulge that popped up in my jeans but not before Declan noticed.

"Looks like it wasn't just my ego that made me think there might be sexual tension between us."

Just then we heard the thump of Dad's cane in the hall. Seconds later he came shuffling into the room and sat down at the table, effectively ending the conversation Declan and I had been having. He looked at the food we'd been chopping.

"More rabbit food. Didn't you learn to cook a steak somewhere in all of your courses?"

"You know I can broil a lean steak. I've made more than a few of them for us. As much as you complain I haven't noticed you leaving any food I've prepared on your plate."

"I didn't say it wasn't good, just not always what I'm in the mood for."

"And all of those frozen dinners you ate for years were what you were in the mood for?"

"No, but they were easy."

"And this is easy, too, for you at least. All you have to do is sit and eat, so stop complaining."

Over a meal which I noticed Dad had no problem downing he asked me when I was going to move my things from my apartment.

"I've been holding off on making arrangements with movers until I get the small stuff out. I was thinking of going to the city Sunday to pack up my personal things and bring as much back with me as I could. I'll call Uncle Frank tomorrow to see if he and Mary can come over and spend some time with you."

"I don't have to be watched every minute, you know. When you're in the garden or working in the fields I'm alone in the house for a couple of hours at a stretch."

"Yeah, but you've got my cell phone on speed dial and I'm never more than a few hundred yards away in case of an emergency."

"I've also got this panic button hanging around my neck so I can call 911 and get help if I have to. But as long as I don't exert myself or get all riled up I shouldn't need to. The worst physical reaction I've had lately is dozing off in the middle of some boring TV program."

"I realize you don't need a babysitter every minute of the day but I'm not going into the city for several hours and leaving you alone. I'll call Uncle Frank."

"I could give you a hand Sunday if you'd like, Silas."

"I couldn't ask you to stay with this ornery old mule all day, Declan."

"I meant go with you to the city. If you're going to load up the truck an extra pair of hands will cut the work and time in half."

"That sounds like a great idea. I was going to call Livy but her job would be to watch the truck while I was bringing stuff down, not helping with the loading itself."

"With three of us we can get it done in no time."

I was hoping to get a chance to finish the conversation with Declan once Dad went to bed but his nap must have completely refreshed him. Lately he'd been turning in by nine but he was still up at ten when Declan got up to leave. I walked him and the dogs out to the Jeep.

"I'd like to continue our earlier conversation when we go into the city Sunday."

"So would I, Silas. I think we have a lot more to talk about."

"If you give me directions I can pick you up at your place since it's on the way."

"No," he said rather abruptly. "That's okay, I'll drive over here. If you pick me up and drop me off you'll be stuck unloading the truck alone when you get back here."

"That doesn't matter. Once I'm home it doesn't make any difference how long it takes to get all the stuff inside."

"Even so, I might as well finish the job with you. I'll meet you here."

I was surprised that Dad was still up when I went back into the house a few minutes later.

"So, you're trying to turn that all-American boy queer like you, huh?"

"You were listening to us?"

"How could I not? You made enough racket to wake the dead when you came into the house and then you weren't exactly whispering in the kitchen."

"I thought old folks were supposed to lose their hearing," I grumbled. "Well, if you were listening to what he said you'd know Declan is bisexual, not gay. And definitely not queer."

"There's a difference?"

I sighed and shook my head.

"Bisexual means he's attracted to both men and women."

"You mean he likes girls but you're trying to seduce him into trying it with you?"

"I thought you were listening to our conversation. How could you hear something completely different from what I heard?"

"Well, I only caught bits and pieces. I heard something about sexual tension and him wanting to get to know you in more than a sexual way so that sounded to me like you've been working on him and he's been resisting."

"You're right that you only heard a little bit of the conversation. I wouldn't have outed him if I'd known how little you'd heard."

Since the cat was already out of the bag I told Dad about the rest of the conversation, at least most of it. I tried to explain the whole thing about sexual tension. I didn't mention Declan's experience with the jocks in school but made it clear he'd been with some guys over the years. I didn't want Dad thinking I was trying to seduce a virgin.

"So you two are going to be dating now?"

"I don't know. We didn't have a chance to get that far in our conversation because a cranky old man interrupted us. I'm hoping to talk to him more on Sunday when you're not around. We've been working on a pretty good friendship so far but now that I know he's attracted to me maybe something more will develop."

Dad was quiet for a few minutes, digesting all I'd told him. Then he got up and headed toward his room. He stopped after a few feet and turned back to me.

"You could do a lot worse, you know."

Declan got to the farm just before eight Sunday morning as planned. I didn't waste any time on small talk once we were on the road.

"So, where were we in our conversation when Dad interrupted us?"

"Hmm, I know you were boning up but I don't remember exactly why. I'm sure it had something to do with me though."

"Ah yes, there's that ego again. I remember what brought about that reaction but I think I'll keep it to myself for now."

"Whatever, I'd admitted that I found you attractive and your dick confirmed the feeling was mutual. So where do we go from here, Silas?"

"You're asking me? I've got lots more same-sex experience than you but not much of a track record on relationships. You have more experience in that respect, although it's all straight."

"So are you saying you want a relationship and don't know how to go about it, or you don't want a relationship?"

"The first. I like you a lot and yes, I'm attracted to you so I'd really like to see where this goes. I've been thinking about this a lot since the other night but I keep coming back to the same question. Are you interested in trying a same-sex relationship?"

"Since running into you this spring I've thought about the possibility of a gay relationship. I'll admit that I'd never given it serious thought before. I mean, it's just so much easier all around to pursue a straight relationship. They're easier to find and it's what everyone expects."

"So I'm thinking you're not out to your friends and family."

"Yeah, except for my little sister Katie. She dropped by the house one morning after a guy had spent the night."

"And how did she take it?"

"Pretty good, actually. She finds it amusing that her studly big brother also likes dick. She's kept it our secret."

"I should warn you, Dad overheard part of our conversation the other night so I had to explain what it was all about."

Declan frowned.

"Do you think maybe he'd keep it to himself for a while?"

"Probably, if you asked him to. He likes you a lot so he'd be more willing to do you a favor than me."

"I'll talk to him although I think you underestimate his feelings for you."

"Maybe." I wanted to get off the subject of Dad and back to me and Declan. "If you were to pursue a relationship with a guy - any guy, not just me - you'd eventually have to come out to your family. How do you think they'd deal with it? How would you deal with it?"

"I think they'd be okay with it. We're Catholic and my parents are pretty conservative politically, but we're also a close, loving family. Given my reputation, which they're fully aware of, it would be a pretty big shock, but the biggest problem would probably be resentment that I'd kept my secret from them for so long."

"I'm not saying that coming out would be a prerequisite to having a relationship with me but it would probably be a result. I've been out for years  and I'm not used to hiding who I am. And this area is the kind of place where everyone learns everyone else's business sooner or later. I've come out to several people since I've been home so I'm surprised there aren't rumors spreading about you already, given the time we've spent together."

"How about this, then? We take it nice and slow, spending time together, continuing to get to know each another, sort of like we have been but maybe a little more romantic. If things still look good to both of us after a while I'll have a talk with my parents. After that, I don't care who knows what. Then we'll see where it takes us."

"Let's see... slow, friendly, a little romantic. Where does sex figure into that?"

"I think maybe we should go slow with that, too. I mean, I'm attracted to you and want to have sex, but we both have plenty of experience with meaningless man-to-man sex. And if we're going to try to have a relationship the sex should be meaningful. So maybe we should wait until we know what we're doing. Does that make sense to you?"

"Unfortunately, it does. I was looking forward to fulfilling some youthful fantasies with you now that I know you reciprocate my lustful feelings, but I guess I can wait. You have to promise me one thing, though."

"What's that?"

"If it turns out this relationship thing doesn't work out, let's have some really hot, meaningless sex before we end it completely."

"Sounds good to me."

I found a place to park the truck about two blocks from the apartment. Once we had everything packed and ready to go I was going to move the truck to an illegal spot by the fire hydrant in front of the building. We each pushed a rented hand truck loaded with bundles of flattened cardboard boxes to the apartment. It only took a minute to give Declan a tour of the small apartment.

I was trying to decide where to start with the packing when Declan surprised me. He grabbed me, pulled me up against him and kissed me. Unlike the kiss in the barn, this one was much deeper and more passionate. His tongue gently pried my lips apart, meeting no resistance on my part, and then wrestled with mine. As I became aroused I ground my hips into his. After a minute he pulled back.

"What happened to going slowly? If this is what you want maybe we should move into the bedroom."

I pointed to the open door, through which the bed was visible. Declan immediately seemed uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on or send mixed signals, although I guess that's exactly what I'm doing. It's just that our first kiss was pretty chaste and I couldn't resist your lips. I meant what I said about holding off on sex for now, but kissing, cuddling, even making out, are okay. If that's okay with you, I mean."

"It's more than okay with me, but if we do much of that I have a feeling sex won't be far behind."

"Well, if it happens, it happens. I just don't want to force things."

While Declan started assembling the cardboard cartons I took one final look around, deciding what to pack and take with us that day but also taking a few last mental snapshots of the place that had been my home for so long.

By quarter to one the apartment was pretty well stripped of all personal belongings and furnishings and the living room was nearly full of packed boxes. Our only conversation all morning had been brief exchanges of words about the job at hand. It had been a lot of work, more than I'd expected, but we managed to get it done in the time I'd allowed. After one last check of cabinets, closets and drawers Declan and I left to meet Livy for brunch.

As we started down the street I had a sudden impulse to take Declan's hand. He jerked his hand away a second after I took hold of it. I stopped and looked at him.

"We're in a gay neighborhood. It's okay to hold hands. No one's going to even notice it here."

"I'm sorry. It was just an instinctive reaction. I may have some gay experience in bed and at clubs and resorts, but in public is new to me. You probably do this all the time so you'll just have to have patience with me."

"Actually, holding hands while walking down the street is new to me, too. I can't remember ever doing it in the few short relationships I've had. But holding hands  certainly falls into the category of 'going slow' and this may be the last time we're in a gay neighborhood where we can do it."

"Then as long as we're not gonna scare the horses ..." He took my hand and started walking again.

By the time we got to the restaurant he'd relaxed to the point where we were walking with arms around each other's waists. In spite of the August heat it felt good to be pressed up against him. As we approached the restaurant I saw Livy sitting at an outside table. Since we were only five minutes late I was surprised she was there already. When Livy saw us her mouth dropped open in surprise.  

"What the hell is going on here with you two?" Livy asked as she stood to greet us.

"You think this is something, just watch."

I pulled Declan around to face me and kissed him for several seconds, no tongue action but lots of lip nibbling and sucking. I could feel him tense up when I started but he quickly relaxed and got into it, going as far as to press his body to mine.

"Declan?!"

Declan pulled back quickly at the sound of  a different female voice and we saw our old classmate Sandy coming toward us from the door of the restaurant.

"What are you doing here, Sandy?" I asked.

"I'm just having brunch with my girlfriend. But I think the more interesting question is what were you and Declan doing just now?"

I looked at Declan. He had the look of a deer caught in headlights but when our eyes met he relaxed and smiled shyly.

"I was just kissing my boyfriend." I was amazed but also pleased at how well Declan bounced back from the shock of being outed to someone from home.

"Boyfriend? Have you run through all of the straight women in the Northeast and are now starting on the gay men?"

"I hope my reputation isn't as bad as all that. There are a few women in New Jersey and lots in New York I haven't slept with, and the only man I'm interested in right now is Silas. In fact, he's the only person of either sex I'm interested in right now."

"It looks like we all have some catching up to do," Livy interjected. "Why don't you three sit and have a drink while we share what we've been up to lately."

Over mimosas and brunch we all caught up. It turned out Livy and Sandy had hit it off at the Fourth of July cookout. I'd been so preoccupied with Declan I hadn't noticed. Sandy had come into the city nearly every weekend since to see Livy. And Livy had been out to visit Sandy in Newton a couple of times without mentioning it to me. Livy and Sandy did most of the talking through the meal. It took Declan and me much less time to catch them up on our hours-old relationship.

Toward the end of the meal I zoned out a bit, wrapped up in the sights and sounds of the city around us. I'd become so used to the quiet of the country that the city, as familiar as it was, was a bit overwhelming.

"Earth to Silas! Are you still with us?"

"Sorry, Livy. I guess I was having a 'goodbye yellow brick road' moment. That's been happening to me all morning. As Elton John sang, 'I'm going back to my plow'. Although I could never imagine Sir Elton behind a plow."

"Three months ago I wouldn't have been able to picture you behind one either, Silas. I knew you were from New Jersey but I always assumed it was from the suburbs. You fit into the city so well."

"I can probably fit in anywhere but I think it's past time for me to just be myself. I've spent a dozen years looking for whatever it is I really want in the city and haven't found it. And then that first day back on the farm, milking the cows, I felt more like me than I had in a long time. I think that's who I am, where I belong."

"Aren't you going to miss the city? Or me?"

"Of course I'm going to miss you, Livy. And there're a lot of things I'll miss about the city, too. Brunches like this, for example."

"But it's not like we're in Siberia. We're only fifty miles away and can come into the city whenever Silas needs an urban fix."

I didn't think Declan even realized the implications of his use of the word 'we' but it made me feel great.

"And now that you're spending so much time visiting Sandy you gals can drop by the farm now and then."

In spite of what I'd just said about belonging on the farm, the weather and company were so perfect I could have sat talking at that city sidewalk table all after noon. But I was in the city for a reason and there was work to be done, so after a while I reluctantly signaled the waiter for the check.

After moving the truck to the front of my building Sandy and Livy stood guard, ready to move it if a cop came by and insisted, while Declan and I wheeled the packed boxes down on the hand trucks.

In less than an hour we'd emptied the apartment and filled the truck. As Declan wheeled his last load of boxes to the elevator I paused, looking around the depersonalized apartment, feeling a bit lost. I'd never considered myself to be sentimental about places. Memories were something else, but they were with you no matter where you went. And I didn't really have any special memories of the apartment. I'd never brought 'dates' there and the few relationships I'd had were so brief and shallow they hadn't made for any Hallmark moments. But the place had been my home, my refuge, for so many years. I'd matured here as an adult, or at least I'd tried to. But I hadn't found what I was looking for while living here, though God knows I'd tried, so it was time to move on. Like the guy in Elton's song, I'd finally decided my future lay beyond the yellow brick road.

TBC