Centre of March

By Hayden Som

Published on Jan 25, 2006

Gay

This is a work of fiction. The author retains all rights. Reproductions are not allowed without the authors consent.

There are no explicit sexual acts contained in this work, it is a story of love and the strong bonds shared between two guys.

This is the first story I have submitted. I would love to hear from you (I have received a lot of emails so keep sending them, and if you haven't already, I really want to know how I'm doing; I just love reading support mail!) so email me on exuinoxneo@hotmail.com and be honest with what you think (but not brutally!). You can even email me if you have any questions - which readers outside of Australia may wish to do as you may not understand the meaning of some slang words. Enjoy.

EIGHT

The reflection staring back at me from the mirror was a complete stranger. My hair, dishevelled, clung to my sweaty forehead. Dark rings circled my red-rimmed eyes and staring into them I was struck by the feeling that I was looking into someone else's. I turned the tap on and lost myself in thought as the running water swirled down the drain. Almost an hour had passed since Edric was admitted into the emergency operating room. The police had already come and gone, their questions were probing and indifferent. To be under the questioning of police twice in such a short amount of time was enough for me to never want to see another cop again. What would they care about the best friend I've ever had lying unconscious in the emergency room?

Best friend? Or was it more than that? Right now I didn't want to think about it, there were more pressing concerns to attend to.

I clenched my fists and noticed the blood on my hands had dried, caked, into flakes that were starting to peel. Edric's blood. It was only at that moment I completely realised the sad state of my appearance. Dark blood stains were smudged onto my once white undershirt, I looked down and noticed my jeans were also stained from above the knees to the hem. So much blood, how could someone who lost that much blood survive? No, I shouldn't start questioning the viability of Edric's survival. He will survive. He must.

Holding my hands under the running tap I rinsed the blood off them as best I could. The clear water turned red as it hit the basin and ran down the drain. All of a sudden, the recent events replayed in my mind again like a sick joke.


"Please Edric," I pleaded, "Wake up, stay with me."

The front door banged against the wall with a thud as the sounds of people entering the house drifted down to the kitchen.

"Ambulance!" a shout called from down the hall.

I could hear everything around me, but I was only able focus on Edric, his breathing was growing shallower and I could feel my grip on reality slipping like the life I held in my hands.

"Jesus Christ!" someone said at the kitchen doorway. "We'll need to work quickly people . . ."

" . . . Check for any pre-existing medical problems," a male voice commanded, "Prep the backboard to immobilise the patient for transfer to stretcher, NOW!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently but I didn't turn my head to see whom it was. A face moved into my field of vision, a woman with blonde hair and pleasant features smiled at me.

"It's okay," she assured me, "We're here to help."

I looked at her as if finally realising I wasn't alone with Edric.

"We have to get him to the hospital immediately, but we can't do that if you're in the way," she said.

She took hold of my wrist and gave me a questioning look. I nodded because words wouldn't form. She wrapped an arm around me and helped me up, guiding me back from the paramedics.

I stood there alone, watching from the sidelines, from a perspective that was not my own. Slowly and surely I was becoming desensitised, there was nowhere else for my mind to run to. This was the only path I could take. The pain was almost bearable here.

I watched as the paramedics checked Edric's wounds. Was that white thing under his torn skin his skull?

They shifted him to a board and carefully moved it with him on it to the stretcher in one swift motion.

"Get on the radio and connect me to the doctor," the paramedic in charge said, "We may need medical direction on the way to the hospital."

I followed the paramedics out of the house to the awaiting ambulance parked outside.

The female paramedic turned to me and asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded.

"I suggest you call someone to drive you to the hospital," she said, "It may be hazardous for you to drive in your emotional state."

I nodded again.

She looked at me one last time, perhaps assessing my stability. Then she turned and hurried back into the ambulance.

It felt like a part of me was inside that ambulance as I watched it disappear into the distance. I wasn't a religious person, but I prayed for Edric's life, I even offered my own in exchange. My life was meaningless compared to the gentle soul that was being gambled with.


The cold water I splashed to a face that was beginning to grow a five o'clock shadow brought me back to the present. I wasn't doing any good reliving something so painful. I turned the tap off and dried my hands. Heading out of the restroom I was hoping the doctors would have some news for me by now. I waited for several anxious minutes longer in the emergency waiting room before a doctor appeared. He was the same doctor I recognised who was treating Edric.

I quickly went after him and asked, "How is he doctor?"

The doctor glanced at the receptionist who nodded her head. He turned back to me and said, "I'm afraid I don't have a great deal of good news for you."

"Please, I want to know," I said.

The doctor sighed wearily, he said, "He's still unconscious."

All of a sudden everything around me disappeared. That single phrase repeated itself in my head.

" . . . Has several broken ribs, some of which have punctured his lungs . . ."

Why was this happening?

" . . . Fortunately his lungs have not collapsed . . ."

It wasn't fair that Edric had no other family who cared.

" . . . Currently undergoing blood transfusion, we've done the best we could . . ."

No, I'm here for him and I'm not going anywhere.

" . . . Situation isn't getting better, but he's not getting any worse so we'll move him to intensive care shortly. I'm sorry, but we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

The doctor went silent, I realised he was waiting for a response, I asked, "He's not going to die is he?"

"It's complicated, all I can say is that he has a good chance of pulling through," the doctor replied.

"I understand," I lied. I knew the doctor was trying to say that Edric's chance of survival was equal to that of him dying.

I sat down on the seat after the doctor left, staring vacantly at the wall.

"Oh dear God," a familiar voice said nearby.

I looked up and saw Aunt Jen several metres away standing with a hand over her mouth. Julie stood next to her and the look of horror was something I rarely saw on my sister's face. I looked around to find out what had shocked them. Then I noticed the blood on my clothes and realised what had caused their reaction. I stood up and Aunt Jen rushed towards me, hugging me fiercely.

"Thank God you're alright," she said.

Julie hugged me as well, she said, "We came as soon as we could."

"How is Edric?" Aunt Jen asked.

"He's . . . still unconscious," I said.

Aunt Jen and Julie were both stricken with sad expressions and concern at the news.

"I can't believe this could happen," Aunt Jen said.

"Well it happened and nothing can change that," I said tired.

"Who would do such a thing?" Julie questioned to no one in particular.

I could feel the anger surge within me, through clenched teeth I said, "His brother did it to him, I swear if I find him I'll make him pay."

"March! You don't mean that!" Aunt Jen said, and then more quietly to herself, "Why would he do such a thing?"

I bit my lower lip and looked away, somehow I felt it was my fault, if I had never showed up at his house last night I wouldn't be here right now and Edric would be at home safe. But how safe? If this was what his brother was capable of, he could never be safe around him. That wasn't completely true, if the moment they shared the night before was the cause of his brother's actions, then it was my fault entirely. I walked away so Aunt Jen and Julie couldn't see my face. I was afraid they would notice the guilt that was written there.

"March?" Aunt Jen said from behind me, "Is something the matter?"

"No," I said, but of course, everything was the matter, "I just hope the police find his brother before I do."

Aunt Jen was quiet for a moment before absently saying to herself, "I never imagined this was how things would turn out."

I spun around. Her comment suggested she knew more than she was letting on. I said, "What are saying? Do you know something I don't?"

"Nonsense March, Aunt Jen wouldn't know anymore than I do," Julie said reproachfully.

I glared at Julie with such intensity she took a step back.

"I . . . don't want . . . anymore of your bullshit Aunt Jen," I said trying to control the rage that was building up, "You will tell me straight up what you know."

Julie said indignantly, "How dare you talk to Aunt -."

I cut her off with another glare, one sharp enough to bore holes in the wall.

Aunt Jen placed a hand on Julie's arm, she said, "It's okay dear, I really haven't been completely honest with March."

Then she said to me, "You must believe me, I didn't know this was going to happen."

"Then what do you know?" I asked.

"When I did your telling a few months ago," Aunt Jen paused trying to find the words, sighing she continued, "It revealed that someone close to you would suffer through a tragedy."

"What!" I said in a voice beginning to rise, "You knew something bad was going to happen and you didn't tell me!"

Aunt Jen put a finger to her lips, motioning for me to quiet down. She moved towards me reaching out to me with her other hand. I stepped back shaking my head to deny her. The glare I gave Julie was nothing compared to the one I was giving Aunt Jen. My vision had narrowed and I could feel my blood getting hotter underneath my skin.

"Please March, listen to me honey," Aunt Jen said, a pleading tone entering her voice, "I thought it was about the robbery, I thought that was the tragedy it was referring to, but it couldn't be because it was referring to . . ."

"Referring to what?" I asked coldly when she trailed off.

"You must believe me that I couldn't know it would turn out like this," Aunt Jen said, "I only knew that something bad would happen to someone in your life, someone you were close to."

"So you knew that something bad was going to happen to Edric!" I said loudly. I couldn't suppress my anger any longer and with vehemence I shouted, "WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING WARN ME? YOU COULD'VE PREVENTED THIS FROM HAPPENING! BUT LOOK AT WHAT'S FUCKING HAPPPENED -."

A sudden force knocked the sentence from completion and I found myself looking down my right shoulder. My left cheek was stinging and it took a moment for me to realise that Aunt Jen had slapped me.

"I'm sorry March," She said apologetically, "Please, you must calm down, no one is to blame here, and you can't change what has happened, there are forces at work here that even I don't understand."

I looked at her accusingly and continued to back away until I hit the wall.

I couldn't cope with this, it was too much for me, I just wanted to run away and hide but there was nowhere to go. I slid down to the floor and hugged my knees close to me. The rage I had felt left as suddenly as it had come. My anger was gone and there was nothing left. Nothing. I could feel myself spiralling down, slipping into a void.

"Edric," I whispered. The longing to see his smiling face again ached so much the pain was unbearable. Hot tears slid down my face as I rocked back and forth.

Aunt Jen knelt down beside me and hugged me, holding my head to her chest while she soothed me. Never in my life could I remember feeling so scared and alone, even with Aunt Jen consoling me and uttering words of support. She could have been a complete stranger for all I cared, I still felt alone.

I was growing weary as I sat there with my head on Aunt Jen's chest, a deep fatigue was setting into me, penetrating through to my bones and the very core of me. It was a strange sensation, my head was growing lighter and something was tugging at me, pulling me inwards. I closed my eyes and suddenly, darkness reigned.

Next: Chapter 9


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