[Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarities between actual events and the events in this story or the characters in this story are purely coincidental. This story involves descriptions of unsafe sexual acts between men for the purpose of erotic fantasy and is not intended to condone such acts. If you are underage or homoerotic material is otherwise illegal in your area, please do not continue. Author retains copyright; do not duplicate this story without express written consent by the author. Comments and suggestions are welcomed at lopezbos@yahoo.com]
Candy Store Diaries, Part II
April 19, 19XX Heard back from Carly (Carla?) Rico's gf's friend. Sounds nice, but a little vacant. After Leslie, I'm done with vapid chicks, no matter how hot they look.
Meeting Anthony tomorrow, psyched.
April 20, 19XX Rico came up for the workout but he was in a piss-poor mood. He's mad at his girlfriend because she had a bit too much to drink at a family get-together and acted a little too slutty for Rico's parents' taste. Nickie's wife wasn't too thrilled either, since apparently she made a few comments about him indirectly. Rico didn't say so, but the way he was lifting made me think he's a little jealous of big brother's big biceps.
Biceps. Anthony. Met him at his house (mistake number one). He lives in the burbs, nice looking split-level thing with a lawn and fences, right out of the picture books. He made me park down the street and walk up, so I checked the address a couple of times just to be sure. Even had a story ready in case I got the wrong house. But I got the right house.
Anthony's pics are probably five or six years old. Mistake number two. He's lost a ton of hair, and what's on his body is graying quick. He was built, but it was sagging in places it shouldn't. After Ronnie, I know I'm being very tough on him, but I know what tight muscles look (and feel) like. So I'm having a beer at his kitchen table, we're talking about nothing and I'm trying not to look around and all his shit that screams suburban married guy. I felt like a fuckin homewrecker (mistake number two: go with the gut). He offers to take me on a tour of his house, and I agree, mostly because I'm sick of hearing about the lawn care problems. He takes me around the deck, then downstairs to his `office' which is a vintage rec-room style thing that looked like my parents' house when I was a little kid. He asks me if I know anything about computers (we talked about that on line) and I said yeah, so he asks me to see if I can show him how to clean up his system just in case his wife comes poking around.
I sit at the desk, and he puts his hands on my shoulders and starts massaging. If he'd been more gentle, it would have been nice, but it felt a little rough for me. I started cleaning up his machine, and he runs his hands down my chest and starts tweaking my tits. As in hurt. Partly a turn on, but again, rougher than necessary. Then I feel his wood on my back, he's rubbing his crotch against my shoulders. I'd pretty much decided I wasn't going to do anything with him by now, there was no spark there, but feeling that hard-on was getting me hot. Same thing as before: Knowing I was the cause of the hard-on made me feel hot. I leaned back into it, then reached over my shoulder to get a grab.
Even through his pants it felt big, meaty. I remembered the pics he'd sent of his swollen member, and those at least seemed to be accurate. I rubbed, and he spun me around. He grabbed his zipper, flipped it open and his turgid cock flopped out. I though Rick's was a good size, but this was fuckin huge. It must have been six or seven inches around, and even half-limp was a good seven or eight long. The slick head was dark red and looked heavy. "Suck it" he ordered, and I did, even though I wasn't really going to. As I took that head into my lips, he grabbed my head and pushed me into him. I had no choice but to take it or choke. I swallowed hard, and he pushed deeper, and I felt the cock getting harder in my mouth. This turned me on, even while my brain was demanding I stop and leave. I wasn't so much sucking him as trying to breathe around the meat swelling in my mouth.
He pulled out to let me catch my breath, then started again. With one hand he held my head clamped on to his tool with the other he pulled my shirt over my head. I was liking this a little too much. He stroked my chest and I reached up to stroke his. He was certainly hairy, and the muscles were there, even if they were a little worn. He undid his pants and they dropped (no underwear). I looked up at him, at least as much as I could. From that angle he was pretty hot, but I got the image of sucking off my uncle and just cooled off real fast. I wanted to stop, pulled back a little, but Anthony grabbed by head with both hands and proceeded to shove his cock into my mouth.
I put my hands on his thighs and pushed, hard. His cock exited with an incongruous `pop' and I got to my feet fast. I told him I didn't like that, and that I should go. Then he got pissed, called me a tease, and threw me out. I grabbed my shirt and headed for the door fast. Never again.
April 22, 19XX Still a little freaked by the whole Anthony thing. Sam says it's not unusual to run into that, and that I was a total ass-wipe to go to his house without meeting him someplace first. The more I think about it, the dumber I feel. Guess I've been lucky so far.
I did tell Rico a little about what happened, though not the gory cock sucking details. I think he could figure out by the context what was going on. He got pissed at me for being an idiot and made me promise that whenever I went out on a blind date from now own that I'd leave the name and address on my table so if I wasn't back he'd know where to look for me. I thought that was a pretty good idea, and pretty sweet too.
Rico's having his own issues with Loretta. Now his family is pressuring him to dump her ass. Even Nickie's weighed in on it, which if I know Rico, is the kiss of death for her. Rico talks about Nickie like he's a super-human, not just physically, but morally too.
Workout was more intense than usual, I think we were both burning off anxieties.
April 26, 19XX Wild weekend.
Friday: Sam comes over half-drunk and roughed up. All the advice, and he doesn't keep any for himself. Patched him up and let him spend the night on my couch, only I wake up with him in my bed. Have to admit it was nice, but not with Sam. Sort of like enjoying sleeping in the same bed with your sister.
Saturday: Rico comes up and Sam's in the shower, and Rico goes into this weird embarrass mode. I told him Sam was a friend, not a friend' and he chilled, until he met Sam. Rico doesn't like sissy boys' as he calls them, and Sam couldn't take his eyes off Rico, which made it worse. I knew Rico wasn't up to work out (we don't work out on weekends) so I gave Sam the `leave now' look, but he was too engrossed with Rico. I practically had to kick him out. I called him a cab.
Rico had a fight with Loretta, shortly after catching her on-line with another guy. She was packing up and Rico needed to get the hell out of Dodge but not so far that she could swipe his stuff. He was pissed, upset, and the whole Sam thing threw him. I told him to hang out at my place, I was going to my mother's anyway. By the time I left he'd calmed down and agreed to stay, and I hung out with him until lunch.
Mom was also in a piss-poor mood, so the visit was short. Must be the moon or something.
Sunday: I'm supposed to be meeting this guy (Charlie) for dinner. He's an older guy, nice pictures, seems pretty normal on the phone, yadda yadda. So as I'm heading out of the building, I hear Rico in his apartment banging and thumping, so I'm wondering what the hell is going on and hoping Loretta isn't getting pummeled. I knock, and a very drunk Rico answers the door. His place is trashed, looks like a fuckin dump. Clothes everywhere, broken stuff on the floor, like a crime scene. He looks like shit too, he's out of breath, sweating like a mule, and pretty scary. I ask him if everything's ok and he tries to act non-chalant, only he's shitfaced so it comes out pretty funny. Took me a good two hours to sober him up and clean up the mess. I didn't need a program to figure out why he got toasted. I knew he liked Loretta a lot, had hoped to marry her. Funny thing is, I know exactly why he's pissed at himself: For the colossal waste of time being with someone you know deep down is the wrong person. If I could have trashed my hospital room, I probably would have.
Called Charlie to apologize, he said no problem, sweet guy.
April 27, 19XX Make-up date with Charlie, but lunch downtown. Turns out he's married too (of course). The thing is, I'm not looking for the love of my life, so it may work out OK. Maybe I should actually look for married guys? Charlie's OK, I'm not sure he'd curl my toes too much. He asked me a lot of questions, felt like I was on a job interview sometimes. I really didn't have too many questions for him, I mean, I don't really care what kind of music he likes or what he reads. Shit, am I turning into a slut?
April 29, 19XX Haven't seen Rico in three days now, he's not at his apartment, and I don't know his parents' phone number. Trying not to worry, but starting to. Sam says I'm being a mother hen.
Got a decision to make. Charlie wants to meet up again, at my place this time. I have to admit, I've been thinking a lot about going all the way as a bottom guy, and Charlie is certainly a candidate, but I'm just not there yet. I want to, but it's gotta be a guy I'll see again, not just a one-time fuck. Charlie could go either way. After the Anthony scene, I'm not sure I want to risk it, although Charlie doesn't seem anything like Anthony.
Speaking of which, actually got an e-mail from Anthony the Asshole. Not even apologetic, just the opposite. Said I really turned him on and he wanted to see me again. Didn't answer it of course, but it gave me the creeps. I looked at his on-line picture again and can't believe what a liar he is.
May 2, 19XX My life is starting to look like a soap opera.
Rico appeared, looking a bit like shit. He went on a serious bender, headed upstate and drank his way back. He said he needed the time to get his head together and now feels better. After five solid days of drinking, just not falling down would make me feel better. We talked about Loretta and Leslie a lot, sort of cathartic. Great workout, nothing like rage to get you going.
Charlie e-mailed again, looking for some time next week. I suggested we take a walk and talk some more and he agreed. Chatted on line, and I don't know if he was fantasizing or serious, but he suggested that I meet another friend of his. I didn't agree to anything. Definitely a subject I'll bring up on our walk, and pretty much the showstopper for having him over.
Enter a new player, John. This guy is too good to be true, and I only mention him here because it was the most normal, most relaxing, and most hopeful chat I've had with any guy to date. I'm sure there is something catastrophically wrong with him.
Sam: Another double date, this time with a couple of models from Canada. I understand now what `preen' means. I don't even remember their names, one was Terry something and the other was like Clive or some other pretentious name. Both were total pricks from the word go. Sam's boy Terry made sure we went to a club were he could be seen and appreciated. Clive treats me like a charity case, and says maybe four words to me all evening, which is OK by me because when he does talk (mostly to Terry) it's about who's at the club and what they look like. Now Sam is a master disher, but these guys are legitimately cruel and weird about it. Even Sam was getting pissed. We ducked out to the bar and I wanted to ditch our lovely but empty escorts, but Sam wanted to use them as bait. I'm thinking that I've stooped to the level of the ugly chick, but by then I was liquored up enough not to really care much. I was also horny as hell, because despite being unbelievably nasty jerks, they were pretty damned hot.
The thing is that Sam has been gay all his life and knows how to flirt. I don't know how the hell to, and I feel pretty damned stupid doing it. Again, the liquor helped, but by midnight Sam was dancing with this guy that looked like a corporate tycoon, Terry, no TRISTAN, that was the name, had actually picked up two women, and Clive was calling me a cab. I am not cut out for this.
May 4, 19XX Went for a long walk with Charlie, felt like we'd been doing this for years. The conversation was both erotic and normal, which was OK by me. I'd already decided not to ask him back to my place, and I kept my own promise, although I did leave the door open for the future. I asked him about this other guy and if he was serious, and he said that he was, but not yet. Charlie knows I'm a `virgin' and doesn't want to push me into something I'm not ready for. Seems that his buddy is also married, and they occasionally play together with a willing guy, and play separately. Honestly the idea has some appeal.
Saw Rico jogging in the park, I don't know if he saw me and Charlie. Felt awkward as hell all of a sudden. May 7, 19XX Sam says he's found the love of his life and wants me to meet him. I'm trying to figure out a way to duck out of this one. Backburner for now, if he's really into this guy, he'll be around longer.
Rico did see me with Charlie and the subject came up yesterday during our workout. He was pretty direct about it, asking me who the `old guy' was that I was with. When I told him it was a friend, he snorted and shook his head. I asked him what, at the same time realizing that I usually avoid talking about my male to male experiences with Rico. He went off. Said that if I was going to go to the other side to at least find a good looking guy my age, and maybe get a taste of some pussy in there for balance. He said it half-joking, I think. I wanted to drop the subject, but he didn't. He asked me straight out what I'd tried so far, and I felt really uncomfortable telling him, but I did. It's different talking about it with Rico, I feel ashamed somehow.
John's another story altogether. We have the hottest chats that are the most casual. He talks about sex the way you'd talk about a golf game. He's not clinical or anything, just totally casual. It's so easy to talk to him. He hasn't been with guys a long time, just in the past few years, but he's a thinker. He's tried it all, and gave me some good advice for what I haven't tried. He didn't do it in a lewd way, just like you'd give advice to someone taking up golf. I really want to meet him, but his schedule is a bitch.
May 10, 19XX How the hell do I describe this? As it comes out I guess. Lost my virginity unexpectedly. Very unexpectedly. I'm still freaked, elated, confused, and fucked up.
Last night I met John at last, he is actually the way he described himself, average guy on the tone side, hairy, good looking (blue eyes), a little older than me, just enough. He is funny, articulate, and amazingly comfortable in his skin. I know now that that one issue is wicked important. We had a couple of beers, then he walked me home. I wanted to invite him up, but he called a cab before I could. I felt like total shit. I'd finally met a great guy, and he wasn't interested in me. Wonderful.
I went into the lobby, and I see Rico's door closing as I get in. I knock, just to be sure he's OK (he's been drinking a lot more than usual lately, not as much as the bender, but enough to get buzzed every night). He opens the door and he's pissed off, at me, no less. He's mumbling something in Brazilian under his breath, and I get pissed. I'm thinking that I just lost a golden opportunity with John, so I was pretty primed to fight.
Rico congratulates me on John, telling me that at least I'm seeing guys that are younger than my father, now I just needed to find one that actually looked like a man and not some pussy whipped hubby. I told him to mind his own fucking business, (talk about salt in the wound) and he laughs. Now I'm really pissed. I start to leave, because if I stay I'm gonna throw a punch. He gets between me and the door, and he's now fucking scary. He's yelling at me half in Brazilian and half in English, about wasting myself on dirty old men and losers. I'm getting ready to deck the guy, but his words (at least the ones I understood) had a grain of truth to them, and that took the wind out of my sails pretty fast. He ranted about me being some gay boy-toy, and about Sam being a terrible influence. I just stood there until he spent his anger.
When he was done, I just stood there. I didn't know what to say. It wasn't any of his business who I chose to meet, or even have sex with. But he was right in a lot of things. I didn't have any idea what I was doing, why, or even what I was looking for. Sam had been my tour guide, but to where? So I just stood there. A fucking reject from every angle.
I don't know how long I stood there, but my head was spinning. What happened next was probably the last thing I expected. Rico reach over and grabbed me by the shoulders, then put me in a crushing bear hug. I just hung there. He smelled of booze and sweat, and he was sucking the air out of me. He started apologizing, still not letting go. I reached up and patted him on the back, partly to calm him down, and partly to ease up, since I was feeling definitely dizzy. When he eased up I was so glad to be able to breathe that when he locked his mouth on mine it caught me completely off guard and I pulled back. He freaked out, I freaked at his freak, and weirdness all around. He started apologizing, ranting at himself, throwing shit, then went into his bedroom and sat at the foot of his bed and started crying.
What the hell do you do?? I walked in, knelt down, put my arms around him and just hugged him. Whatever was eating him was doing a serious number on him. He apologized again, and I said that it was my fault, that I was surprised. We stared at each other then tried it again, and this time it was a hell of a lot better. It was weird as hell, I mean we were friends, but it just seemed like the right thing to do.
Rico broke it off, stood up, closed the door, and turned out the lights. Again, weird. Next thing I know we're groping each other in the dark. It's not like I don't know the guy's body, it's on display three or four times a week in my apartment, but feeling it this way, with the heat of the moment, and a LOT of unspent horniness, damn, it was incredible. There was one neighborhood on his body, however, that I'd never seen, and the darkness made it unbearably erotic to explore there.
I suspected from his bulge that Rico was no goliath in the dick department. What I didn't know was that he was uncut, and further that uncut seems to have a propensity to show small when not angered. When I mustered the courage to go south, my fingertips encountered first a root of sizable proportions. It was as hard as the rest of him. My hand wandered up the shaft, amazed at how he'd kept this thing in his shorts when we worked out. Not having a ruler, I counted a full eight finger widths from the base to the edge of the crown, or the bump that I assumed was the crown. The foreskin was all over the place, like a second pair of underwear.
I didn't have long to explore there, this was his apartment and he knew where everything was even in the dark, but I didn't, so when he turned me, I went flailing backwards onto the bed. So did he. This wasn't the hungry horny stuff like Paul, and it certainly wasn't the brutality of Anthony, this was a new thing, and my thinking brain was trying to figure it out. The rest of my brain was telling the thinking brain to shut the hell up and enjoy it. Rico was familiar and novel at the same time, unbelievably erotic and urgent. The darkness made it seem like a stolen moment. We wrestled around in the bed, exerting more energy and muscle strength that you'd think was sexual. If either one of us had been female, there would have been broken bones.
Part of me knew where we were going, or at least wanted to go. A small part protested, not like this, not here, not now, not with him, but the louder part kept asking why not. The mini-argument went back and forth, but Rico's touch was electrifying, silencing both sides. My last thought was that it was going to complicate things. Against all good judgment, when I felt him positioning himself, I reciprocated. I felt vulnerable, actually opening my legs like that, but the truth is that I wanted him. His mouth roamed my chest (which is fair since he helped sculpt it) and found my neck. My hands went up and down his torso, so familiar, but never like this. When his cockhead touched my ass, I gasped. He paused, found my lips in the darkness, and began a long passionate kiss as he entered me.
Nobody told me it burned, nobody told me it hurt like hell, and nobody told me that once it starts, there's no practical way of stopping a two-hundred pound guy from taking your ass. At first it was ok, it felt pretty damned good. The sensation was actually enough to make me roll my eyes back. I couldn't believe it was happening. Then the burning started. He was going very slowly, but just the physics involved I guess. The head of his tool surged it, felt like it was sliding past the foreskin and it opened me up fast. That hurt. It didn't hurt him, he grunted with pleasure and deepened the kiss. I wanted him to pull out, let me get some lube, or something to make it seat right, it felt like my ass was caving in on itself, like he was pushing my cheeks into my hole. He kept up the pressure and I felt it all the way up to my navel, a dull ache. I realized that I was actually clenching my ass tight, fighting the entry.
I took a deep breath and relaxed, and I actually grabbed my ass and pulled my cheeks apart. Now a big chunk of cock dove in as my ass snapped up, and it hurt like hell. Tears welled up in my eyes, but in the dark he couldn't see it. I wasn't going to whine or whimper either. I finally felt his thighs against mine, and I knew he was all the way in. I sighed. Behind the searing pain and discomfort, there was a huge pleasure waiting. He held it there, not moving, and my ass relaxed around him. I didn't want to think of that thick, long meat buried inside me, only that I had finally gotten what I wanted.
My hands went from my ass to his, kneading his firm globes as his wriggled his hips a little. This seated him even deeper, and I moaned, it was starting to get good. Inside it hurt, like he was hitting something hard, but the overall feeling of him was amazing. I felt like a complete klutz, so freaked that this was happening that I didn't move, I just lay there, feeling his chest on me, his mouth on mine. Sensory overload. He started to pull out, and all I could think of was no, don't go! I grabbed his ass for all I was worth, and he pushed back in. He started to pump slowly, each time going out a little further, making all sorts of sounds in his throat. I remembered my first time fucking a guy, and how totally different it was, and I could appreciate what he was feeling.
He pulled off the kiss and rose up on his arms. I shifted my ass to get a better angle. I was suddenly glad it was dark, because I was in a totally submissive position. I'd always fantasized about this, but actually doing it, particularly with a guy I liked and respected, felt weird. He pumped hard, and at the base of each stroke that sharp stab rang up my belly. I didn't really care at that point, I wanted to get him off. I rubbed his chest, played with his hairy nipples, and tried to squeeze my ass at the right time, although I failed most of the time. He picked up the pace, and I knew he was almost there. He gave out a big grunt and pulled out so fast I felt like I'd been emptied. I felt the cum shoot on the bed and on my ass. His body was vibrating, literally shaking the bed. I held on to his shoulders, a little miffed that the fun was done and I'd missed it.
He slumped onto the bed beside me, and reached over and grabbed my cock. He only stroked it a couple of times before I shot, who knows how far. I know some of it landed on my chest. He withdrew his hand and lay there next to me. Now was the moment of truth, and I had no idea what to do next. I wanted to get the hell out of there, into a shower, and I didn't even want to think that I'd just had unprotected sex. After a few minutes he started snoring, so I got up quietly, found most of my clothes, and snuck out.
I haven't seen him today, so I have no idea what's next. I know that last night was the most erotic experience I've ever had, and now I'm afraid I'll never match it. Rico's straight, I caught him at a bad time, for both of us. I'll be lucky if he's still my friend.
May 9, 19XX Charlie called today, but I put him off. Same with John. Sam wants to know what's up with me, and I haven't seen Rico since the thing the other night. I'm feeling weird all over, like maybe I've made a huge mistake here.