Author's note: I'm back again, this time more exhausted than ever, but I think I still have a little more to go before all this ends! I've noticed many wonderful stories recently being written and I want to say kudos to all the new writers out there!!!!!! I'm sorry I haven't emailed to all the new stories that I liked because I'm honestly going through a very important period in my life--deciding upon a career, so bear with me!
Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction. I know not the Backstreet Boys nor Nsync, nor do I know their orientation. Anyone under the legal age limit should not read on!
The story hit all the Boys and Nsync members like thunder. Jeff was immediately imprisoned after his alleged assault on Justin and Lance, but he was soon indicted for Nick's rape. No one knew what to make of the strange events that had evolved around the blond member of Backstreet.
To their dismay, Jeff had publicly described in very graphic detail every step of the rape. He was spiteful. They all knew it. Jeff had forced them all to hear the details of his sexual assault on Nick's unconscious body. Within one day, everyone knew of everything that happened to Nick during the kidnapping, including Justin's attempt at Nick as well.
Everyone was humiliated. Justin, most of all, but for the naive boy, there was nothing but relief that Jeff was behind bars. Justin knew that once Jeff was caught, the truth would be out. It hurt to know that Nick was probably hurting more than the rest from the news, but what could he do now? If they didn't detain Jeff, who knows what he would do?
Nick didn't press charges against Justin. Management had convinced the police of Justin's innocence even though Justin knew that there could be no other person who should bear the burden of guilt more than himself. Justin heard that Nick was staying with Brian and Moju. He had asked Lance to seek out any info about his blond crush and patiently waited at his home. He had nightmares of course, of Nick committing suicide. But he had dreams of Nick and him in a beautiful relationship as well, visions of them entwined in each other's arms. He desperately wanted to be with Nick again. But he was afraid that he had created a dead end. And Nick wouldn't be there to pull him out. He sobbed that night into his pillow and only the walls heard his anguished cries. In one week, he had matured more than he ever wanted to. And after hours crying, it was hard to remember that once, he was just as innocent as any other child.
Nick sat on the couch quietly. His eyes bore holes into the wall as Brian, Moju and now Lance were frantically talking to him, getting him to understand, getting him to respond. But he could not respond. Not anymore.
He had known that he was raped on that island, he wasn't too shocked. Besides, it had happened one too many times in the past week. One more time didn't shock him.
But that was not what bothered him. The story was out. Justin's bodyguard had disgustingly described to the world every dirty detail about the whole rape scene including all their intimate positions as well as every grunt and moan that they made. His words were so ugly and painful to Nick's ears. Yet Nick remembered every single word that Jeff had used to describe his body, his curves, his motions.
The scariest thing was, Nick couldn't refute Jeff's words. In his heart, he knew that Jeff, as spiteful as the man was, was telling the truth. If Nick hadn't been aroused, how could he have been raped that way? In a way, he was as much to blame for the rape as Jeff. He had hardened. He had given Jeff the opportunity to sheath his hardness. And he believed it when Jeff had said that Nick moaned lustfully. He was, after all, a dirty, disgusting, worthless prostitute. He would never be able to shake off that label.
Perhaps it was a good thing that his family had disowned him. He was not worth much anymore, especially after the whole world now knows about his most intimate fears. He was now exposed to the world, his body bare and naked to everyone. In a way, he felt relief. There was nothing left to hide, no lies left to fear. Sooner or later, they would know that he used to be a prostitute when he was young. He didn't care anymore.
Nick thought he could hear Brian's and Moju's voice screaming for him to wake up, to answer them. Strange. He was conscious. Why were they screaming for him to wake up? Then he heard Lance's voice, pleading desperately for forgiveness. Forgiveness for what? If anything, he should be the one that needs their forgiveness. He had destroyed their future careers with his dark, tinted past.
He thought he saw the ceiling turn red. Or did he see Moju transform into a devil before his eyes. He didn't understand. Everything became so hazy. He wanted desperately to fall asleep forever and never wake up. Or if he did wake up, let it be a bad dream, and that he could start over again.
He felt hands all over his body, and he desperately tried to shove them off. They felt so commanding, so seductive. And they persisted, grasping his body more tightly.
He felt his head spinning from pure insanity. He felt himself being lost to nothingness and soon, Brian, Lance and Moju were mere background noise. Voices without faces. Nick felt comfortable inside his new home. It was dark. It was simply empty space. How strangely pleasant! He didn't know that nothingness could be this peaceful. He couldn't hide here. There was nothing to hide from. But it was so cold, just like on that island! Slowly, Nick began to weep. He cried until his tear ducts overflowed with bittersweet tears. He wept until every last bit of grief was exposed. And then he didn't cry anymore.
Brian was scared to death. Nick's face was simply pale and he didn't respond to anything that Brian said. Brian tried to embrace him, as did Moju and Lance, but Nick stopped shoving their arms away after a few minutes. That meant that Nick had given up. He looked completely out of touch with reality.
"Nick, don't do this! It's not your fault. It never was. You're not dirty or cheap. You're beautiful. You're kind. You still have me. I still love you like crazy! I still want you. We all still want you, Nick. Moju, Lance, Kevin, AJ, Howie, JC, Joey, Chris and probably even Justin. We all need you!" Brian soon begin to ramble.
Even Moju, as calm as he was, was fretting and pacing about wildly, begging Nick to say something, anything. But nothing came out of Nick's soft lips, no sign of recognition.
Lance was completely bewildered, never once thinking that he would see Nick in such a petrified state. He didn't expect the impact that making this public would have on Nick. And now, he saw it with his own eyes. Nick was lost, probably to them forever. Lance at first tried to talk to Nick, but after a few hours, he began to back up into the wall. The fear was too great. He was afraid to touch Nick. He was afraid to witness the consequences of all his, Justin's and maybe even Moju's and Brian's mistakes in the past week. Every one of them had shoved Nick towards this. Lance slowly sunk in the corner. He wanted to run, but didn't have the nerve to.
And then, something strange happened. Nick began to cry. Nick cried so hard none of them knew what hit them. He clung on to Brian like a leech. And after some time, Nick's crying stopped suddenly. That was when Lance felt Moju's hand on his shoulder. He looked up meekly at the taller man, his eyes pleading for redemption. Moju merely nodded at Brian and Nick. Lance understood then. Moju had placed Nick in Brian's arms. Moju had surrendered. Nick was way too fragile for the competition to continue. Or rather, Nick had been completely shattered already. Slowly, Lance stood up and followed Moju outside of the house. Lance even followed him to his car. Together, they drove to Justin's house where they picked up the other blond boy. The three of them drove off to the beach, each hoping to let the fresh cool breezes wash away their pains. Each had a different set of pain, but all three shared the realization that Nick was not theirs to keep.
No, Nick would not be their lover. He would not be the one that they would wake up to in the morning. He would not be the one that they could kiss all day long. He would not be the warm body that kept them cozy in bed every night. And he would not be the one that they could share their most personal thoughts to.
All those honors belonged to Brian.
Brian heard the door close as Moju and Lance left. He was not dumb. He knew that they had surrendered. A part of him was ecstatic that they had relinquished their fight. A part of him was scared that he had to deal with Nick alone.
He honestly had no inkling what to do. Thoughts streamed through his consciousness, but nothing coherent. Nick was leaning against him. He could feel the blond boy's heartbeat. "You doing okay?" Brian murmured into Nick's ears.
The blond lover didn't reply.
"I love you."
Still, no reply. Brian started to feel completely helpless. He gently nudged Nick's face until he could pull that beautiful face up level to his. The eyes were wet. Those radiant blue eyes . . .
Slowly, Brian brought his lips to that of his blond lover. He began to gently nibble on the lower lip, making sure he didn't kiss too deep. After a few minutes, he took bigger nibbles until their mouths were sealed. Nick's eyes were unresponsive. He barely moved his lips to return Brian's kiss. Still, Brian didn't give up. Slowly, he deepened the kiss, letting his hands rest on Nick's back. He pushed his lips harder against Nick's face, letting his tongue wet the blond boy's lips. Slowly, he pulled Nick down on top of him, giving Nick the sense of power, letting Nick be on top.
Brian was nearly about to give up, when he suddenly felt Nick's body tensing up. The blond pulled away abruptly, but he was still perched on the couch, his body on top of Brian's. He stared into Brian's eyes, his own eyes still wet. Slowly, he lowered himself so that their bodies touched. Brian felt so small. He was now Nick's to touch, to own. His body would do Nick's bidding.
But the best thing was, Nick took the initiative. He slowly placed his fingers around Brian's pants and pulled them down. It was now Nick's game to play. It was only now that Brian truly understood Kevin's words. "Let Nick make the move." Nick was now the one who commanded their intercourse. The best thing was . . . Nick was extremely gentle. His hands roamed not wildly, but sensuously. Every move he made was affectionate, not ornate. His hands were admiring rather than craving.
Suddenly, Brian realized what all men were after when they wanted Nick in bed. They were seeking this moment when the blond boy would bestow on them the actual desire to have sexual intercourse with them. Nick had given his body so many times, but never once did he give his soul. And this time . . . Brian felt the a surge of energy in him. Nick was giving Brian his deepest love. Just knowing that was enough to drive Brian to the edge. He stared longingly as Nick's eyes bore into his own. Slowly, he lowered his body. Brian didn't know when Nick did it, but all of Nick's clothes were on the floor. Nick was now naked in the couch with him.
Brian could care less. Everything was forgotten when Nick leaned down for the first real kiss they ever shared together. Brian was simply lost. His body tightened and then relaxed. The soft caress of Nick's body as it moved rhythmically to Brian's own had given him so much comfort. Nick's feet straddled Brian's body and intertwined against Brian's own, locking him into position. The blond boy's arms were spread out on the couch on either side of Brian's shoulders. They moved in rhythm and Nick controlled Brian's orgasm, making sure that Brian hardened but didn't come too soon, stopping the cum from flowing with his own hardness resting next to Brian's. They breathed deeply with each rhythmic move. Nick's face was so soft. Brian moaned so loud that hearing his own voice was strange.
Brian didn't know how long they were in that position, but Nick began to pick up the pace. Still, he didn't change positions. They simply thrust their hips in rhythm to one another. There was no penetration-just the comfort of their bodies grinding against one another. The couch creaked loudly under their two sweaty bodies. Brian didn't care. He was in heaven.
Nick's kiss became exceptionally erotic. The two locked their mouths for increasing lengths of time. Brian knew that he was close, too close. He couldn't scream Nick's name because his screams of joy were muffled by Nick's mouth on top of his. All he could do was allow his mind to scream in joy.
And then, he orgasmed. It was the best orgasm he had ever felt! No one had brought him to this much pleasure ever. He came on Nick's groins. To his surprise, Nick had also cum onto his. Both were now sweaty from the intense intercourse, and both had a smile to their face. Nothing could possibly describe their love-making. It was simply ethereal.
"I love you." Brian knew the phrase was repetitive, but he had to say it.
"I know. I love you too." Nick's voice was more beautiful than Brian had remembered. And then, Brian realized it. It was at the moment when all competition died that Nick had given himself totally to Brian. It was at the moment when all Nick's secrets were exposed that he had nothing else to hold back. Nick didn't need words to console him. He needed someone to give him the freedom to express his love freely.
And after knowing this, Brian made sure that he would never make the mistake of trying to capture Nick's heart again. He didn't need to fight for Nick's love. Nick was ultimately going to give it to him.
How many conflicts had they created? How many heartbreaks did Nick go through? Yet Nick never once tried to seek vengeance on the people that hurt him. All Nick wanted was for someone to love him. He had been controlled all his life. He was forced into sex by abuse, both physical, sexual and emotional. All he really needed was to love someone who didn't try to force sex on him! How much simpler could it be? Nick didn't need words to convince him who loved him purely. All he needed were chaste actions to prove the love.
And Brian was overwhelmed that he was the one to give that love to Nick. Nick had chosen him from the start! Nick had known his love to be chaste. Brian wept from joy as Nick's body weighed on his own. He embraced Nick's body and cried that night. He cried for the newfound innocence of Nick's soul. And as he felt every soft inch of Nick's naked body next to his, Brian cried for the ecstasy of loving the one man he had painfully desired for too long. At last, he won Nick's heart and body. And never again will he let it go.
The End
NCfan
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