All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"But Who Knows Where or When?"
Copyright Ritchris, 2007
A Story
by
Ritch Christopher
with literary enhancement by
Les Martin
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chapter two
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"It seems we've stood and talked like this before."
excerpted from "WHERE OR WHEN"
by Rodgers and Hart's "Babes in Arms"
copyright 1937
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The Whitcomb-Rogers anteroom was already filled with eight patients waiting to see one of the two physicians as Kent entered. Phoebe, the receptionist, a great fan of the football team, recognized Kent immediately as he approached her desk.
"Good afternoon," Kent said. "I'm here to see Doctor Rogers."
Phoebe knew that Blaine Rogers had set aside an appointment to see Kent as soon as he arrived and so Phoebe announced loudly enough for the other patients to hear, "I'm glad to see you're on time, Mr. Stevenson. I left word at your residence yesterday to remind you about your appointment."
"You did?" Kent asked, puzzled.
Phoebe gave Kent a big nod to go along with her made-up story. "YES, I DID, Mr. Stevenson. Often when patients make appointments as far in advance as you did, they may need a little telephone reminder as the time to see the doctor draws nearer."
Kent wasn't dense and he finally caught on to the ploy Phoebe was using to let everyone in the room think that Kent wasn't a 'walk-in' patient and could see Blaine without anyone objecting or suspecting patient partiality.
"Thanks, I DO appreciate your calling me."
"Please have a seat and the doctor will see you momentarily."
"Thank you, ma'am."
"Tell me, Mr. Stevenson, how's the team coming along? Do you think there's a chance E.U. might make it into a bowl game come New Year's?"
"You're a fan of the team?"
"Of course I am. That's why I recognized you when you entered. My nephew goes to E.U. although he doesn't go in for sports. He's one of those 'cause-marchers', trying to save the penguins in the Sahara Desert or he's opposed to using live scorpions to make women's face powder? Things like that..."
Kent laughed. "You can't be serious, can you? I mean PENGUINS in the desert and using poisonous creatures to put on your face?"
Phobe smiled and replied quietly, "No, I wasn't serious but when I say things such as that about Lambert, it's a little easier than admitting that he's president and the founder of 'Gays On Campus!"
"His name is...Lambert?...for real?"
"Lambert Mellancross! How's that for a moniker? I mean, it's ONE thing to be openly gay but to compound it by having such a name, it's a wonder he hasn't moved to Tibet to be with the Dalai Lama or even committed 'sideways'!"
"Thank God, he only has two strikes against him!" Kent joked.
"Oh, there's more! If you ever run into him on campus, you'll discover his other flaws as soon as you look at him!"
"Good heavens! Give me a clue!"
"He's a carrot top with a million bright orange freckles, to begin with!"
"Say no more! I'm sorry I asked. Poor guy! No wonder he's gay!" Kent said as he left Phoebe's desk to take a seat next to a young woman who was very, very pregnant. Kent was almost afraid to sit down beside her since he had seen so many sitcoms on TV where pregnant women's water broke at the most inopportune times. It seemed that Kent had been sitting for less than a minute when a young blonde nurse opened the door and said, "Mr. Stevenson?"
"Yes!" Kent replied.
"Come with me, please."
Kent rose and followed the nurse, all the while giving her ass a good look as she seemed to wiggle it on purpose as she walked ahead of him. He had seen from the name badge that her name was Jane Frazier, LPN. Kent thought to himself, 'Boy, what I wouldn't give to see THAT up-close and personal! Being a nurse, she's gotta be hot!'
Jane took Kent to a chair just a few feet from the door and asked him to sit while she took his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature. All three were a little high as she charted Kent's vitals on the examination sheet. From there she took him to the second examining room on the left and told him to take off his shirt, that Doctor Rogers would be in to see him momentarily.
As she was leaving the exam room, Kent brazenly asked, "Do you ever go to Epperson football games?"
"I have on occasion...with my boyfriend."
"Oh! You have one of those, huh?"
"It's safer for me to have a boyfriend when I have handsome young men to tend to here at work."
"Handsome? Were you just complimenting me?"
"You're the only handsome young man I see, so it must've been you."
"Hey, Miss Frazier! This boyfriend? Are you going steady?"
"Steady as an atomic clock...so all I can say to you is...sorry..."
"I can wait."
"For what?"
"Until you two have a fight."
"Mr. Stevenson, you surely don't waste time before hitting on a girl, do you?"
"Life is short...or so they say."
"Oh? Do you have some kind of terminal illness?"
"I hope not."
"I...I didn't ask. Just why are you here to see Dr. Rogers?"
"I'd rather not say."
"Oh, then I won't ask. However, you do know that I can read your diagnosis when you leave."
"It's better if you read it than having me tell you about it."
"OK. Just sit still until the doctor comes in to see you."
Jane swished her hips in a sexy manner as she exited the exam room. Kent removed his shirt, then sat on the elevated examining table and dangled his legs, but carefully protected his infected testicle with one hand on his lap. A few minutes later, Blaine entered the room.
"Kent, isn't it?" Blaine said.
"Yes sir," Kent replied. Again their eyes locked as they had in the locker room the day before.
"Let me see your arm, first."
"What?"
"The TB test I gave you yesterday. Let me see if there's a sign of infection."
"Oh...sure!" Kent stuck out his arm while Blaine looked and probed at the spot of the injection.
"So far, so good."
"How long before I know about TB?"
"Anywhere from forty-eight to seventy-two hours."
"Well, it's only been around twenty-four hours."
"Still too soon to tell, Kent."
"TB is about the LAST thing I need right now."
"OH? So tell me what's so secret or what's troubling a fine healthy specimen like you that you want me to examine you for?" Blaine asked. 'Damn his eyes!' Blaine thought. 'It's as if he's looking right through me and can read my mind. Why the fuck can't I read HIS mind?'
"I guess it's better if I show you rather than just telling you about it."
"All right. Let me see what it is you WANT me to look at."
Kent eased himself off the table, unbuckled his jeans and pushed them below his knees. Next, he gingerly eased his boxer shorts down to mid-thigh. Then he stood straight up.
Blaine watched as Kent revealed the lower part of his torso and his eyes seemed to fix on Kent's penis. Never had Blaine seen a more perfect organ. It was tanned the same color as Kent's upper body as if he had sunbathed in the nude to get everything equally bronzed. Kent's circumcised penis was arrant and totally smooth; void of any protruding veins, but average-length...around five inches flaccid. Then Blaine's eye was distracted by the huge swollen testicle to one side.
"THERE!" Kent said, on full display.
"Ah! Is it painful?" Blaine asked.
"Yes and no..."
"What do you mean...SOMETIMES painful?"
"No, that depends on what's wrong with me. I mean if I have testicular cancer then it's quite painful. If it's nothing serious, then I'm saying that I can tolerate the pain."
Blaine seated himself in a chair and motioned Kent to walk toward him. Without asking, Blaine reached forth and took the enlarged testicle in his hand and carefully squeezed it lightly from top to bottom and front to back.
"Did that hurt?"
"Just a bit."
"How long has it been this way?" Blaine asked.
"A few days...less than a week."
"And before that...there was no swelling or tenderness?"
"No, I was fine all weekend. Rex and I double dated and brought these two chicks back to our room and banged them for about three hours. I, of course, used a condom, but I climaxed normally three or four times?"
"You're not bragging, are you?"
"What do you mean, Doctor?"
"About climaxing three or four times in three hours..."
"Do you think I overdid it and that's what caused my ball to swell up?"
"No, I think not. I was just admiring your..well, your virility."
"Then what DO you think caused it?"
"It's definitely an infection."
"Do you think it's cancerous?"
"At first glance, I'd say 'no'. But I will need to get a scan, as well as some body fluids from you to be certain."
"If it's not cancer, then what would be your guess?"
"Without test results, I can't be sure, but I have treated cases like this before when it WASN'T cancer. It could be something called, 'orchitis', which is actually 'mumps' of the scrotum...or it might be a sac that can form on one or both of the testicles called a hydrocele sac. It is also caused by bacteria."
Growing more nervous by the second, Kent asked, "Is it curable?"
"Yes, both are. Orchitis needs some antibiotics and time. However, if you have a hydrocele sac, then there are two or three ways to treat it. I could take a needle and drain the fluid in the sac or I could inject a medicine which would put like a hardened eggshell over the testicle and little by little the swelling would go away. BUT both treatments with a needle are VERY painful!"
"Would I be cured then??"
"Hopefully, but there's a chance it can recur...but it doesn't always."
"Well, if it's...you called it orchitis?...and you say it's like mumps, I know when I was a kid and had mumps in the sides of my neck and throat, the doctor told my mom that I should be immune to any more mumps contamination."
"Orchitis is the same way. BUT, Kent, I'll be totally honest. If you have a hydrocele sac on your testicle, I can't rule out cancer without tests."
"Then what? WHAT IF I DO HAVE CANCER?"
"We won't go into that until we're sure what you have?"
"DOCTOR! I HAVE to know. What's the treatment for cancer? I know that Lance Armstrong and Scott Hamilton were cured of that!"
"Well, like many other cancers, there's radiation, chemo, or surgery."
"Surgery. You'd...you'd cut my balls off?"
"Perhaps just one...maybe not even one."
"Then what? My voice would be pitched higher and I'd lose my masculinity. Ha! I'd become a faggot?"
"Kent, you're jumping to too many conclusions and all of them are false. Let's find out first."
"How do we do that?"
"I can have the nurse draw blood. I could take a syringe and withdraw some fluid. Still you would need some x-rays, catscans, or MRI's."
"Then let's get to work and find out! Doctor, I've GOTTA know!"
"Let me ask you a personal question..."
"Fire away!"
"Since Sunday, have you masturbated at all?"
"Sure."
"If I gave you some privacy, could you masturbate into a cup right now and let me send your semen to the lab?"
"Yeah, if that'll speed up the diagnosis."
"All right, we'll get your semen sample first. Can you masturbate without a magazine or looking at erotic material?"
"Hell, when I jack off in bed at night, the room's dark as pitch. No, I don't need a magazine."
"Would you like me to turn off the lights?"
"Yes. I WILL be alone, won't I?"
"You and Rex don't ever masturbate together?"
"We're not jack-off buddies, if that's what you're asking."
"Very well. Let me get you a sanitized cup and a clean towel while I go out of the room."
For some unknown reason to Blaine, he didn't want to leave. The idea of watching Kent masturbate excited him. But he put that thought aside, got the cup and towel and handed both to Kent. Then Blaine turned off the light in the room and exited, leaving Kent to his private jerk-off session. Blaine closed the door and went to see his next patient, a twelve-year old boy who had fallen off his bike and fractured his left tibia. Today was the day that the boy's plaster cast was to come off. So Blaine got the small saw and scissors and quickly removed the cast. The boy, Johnny, was a bit afraid to take his first step sans the cast, but soon learned that his bone had mended well and he actually skipped down the hall to see his mother in the waiting room. The cast removal had taken about fifteen minutes and Blaine thought that that was ample time for Kent to have caught a sample of his semen in the cup.
Blaine knocked on Kent's door. "Everything OK?"
"Yes."
"Emission accomplished?"
"Ha!...and THEN some!"
"May I come in?"
"Please do."
Blaine entered Kent's room and turned on the lights. He walked to the table to get the 'sample' cup and was more than amazed to see that the cup was filled to the brim. 'His glands must be the size of a horse's!' Blaine mused to himself as he observed the cup.
"Is this about your normal excretion of sperm?"
"I don't know. I've never had to measure it in a cup before, but I DO shoot a lot!"
"OK. Are you man enough to stand the prick of a syringe?"
"Sure, prick my prick!" Kent joked.
"Wait, there's something else I need to do first," Blaine replied, going to his medical cabinet to retrieve a catheter with a long plastic syringe. "This won't hurt too much, but I need to draw some fluid from the base of your urethra."
For the first time since the examination began, Blaine took Kent's 'perfect' penis in his hand. In the back of his mind, he joked to himself...'perfect penis...P.P. Maybe that's where that pseudonym began. PP...Perfect Penis!'
Slowly, Blaine inserted the catheter syringe into Kent's external sphincter and guided it down the urethra straight into the accessory gland, through the prostate gland, and then into the seminal gland where he drew out two CC's of fluid. Kent leaned back on the table, placing his forearm over his eyes, as if he were in pain. As Blaine held tightly on to Kent's muscular shaft, he could feel the erectile tissue hardening into a full erection.
Blaine gripped the shaft harder as he withdrew the syringe and catheter, maintaining Kent's erection in his left hand. It was then and only then that Blaine realized he had sprung a boner himself...about the size of Kent's. This had never happened to Blaine...anytime, anywhere, with any other patient...ESPECIALLY a male patient and Blaine became alarmed at his own reaction.
"Hurt?" Blaine asked.
"Some. But at least it's comforting to know that you're married to Rex's sister..."
"Why is that?"
"I just thank God you're not gay. You're going where no man has ever gone before...at least on MY body."
"You're not homophobic, are you?"
"Not around straight guys, but I DO get a bit uneasy when someone who's obviously gay joins our crowd or starts talking to me."
"You know what, Kent? I'm going to wait before withdrawing fluid your testicle directly until I get your results back from the scans. Otherwise it might be putting you into an unnecessarily painful situation."
"Are we through, then?"
"Not quite. I want Jane to take some blood from your arm and there's one more thing I need to check. This won't hurt. As a matter of fact, it might give you some pleasure."
"Then let's do it!"
"I need you to get on your hands and knees upon the table."
"You mean like doggy-style fucking?"
"Yes, actually."
"Boy, it sure doesn't take you long to get to know someone inside and out."
Kent had to remove his sneakers to remove his pants and boxers. One he was stripped, he was left wearing only his white jock socks. He climbed up on the table to assume the hands-and-knees position. While Kent was getting ready, Blaine was at the cabinet donning a pair of sterilized gloves and opening a tube of KY-Jelly.
"Now this shouldn't hurt at all."
"Listen, Doctor Rogers, if you're looking to see if I have hemorrhoids, you've got the wrong guy. I don't strain when I shit and I always main good clean hygiene in my rectum!"
"Actually, Kent, I want to probe further up in your rectum."
"Uh oh! There goes my cherry that I've been keeping safe all my life."
"No girl or woman has ever probed you up there?"
"No, sir, and NO man or boy either!"
"I want you to inhale deeply and, as you exhale, try to think you're letting the air release down your colon and out of your anus."
"You want me to fart? Is that it?"
"No, I just want you to relax when I slip my finger up your rectum so that it won't hurt you!"
Kent closed his eyes. He grabbed both sides of the table with his bare hands and pushed on his colon as if he were about to defecate.
Blaine couldn't help but admired Kent's smooth, tanned buttocks as he eased his middle finger up Kent's anal passage and wriggled it until he felt Kent's prostate gland. Blaine felt that the gland was swollen and he began to massage it slowly.
"Oooh, man! Does that EVER feel good!" Kent grunted. "Whatever you're doing, Doc, don't stop!"
"I told you that it would feel good."
"MAN, does it EVER!" Blaine continued with the prostate massage for a few more minutes. "GOD DAMN, DOCTOR! I think I'm gonna cum!"
"Go ahead. You won't soil anything!"
Suddenly, in spite of the warning, Kent shot a blast of sperm all over the table beneath him. Three...four...five...six...seven shots of hot sperm were emitted from his penis.
"OH! JESUS CHRIST! OH! OH! OH!" Kent screamed until Blaine withdrew his finger.
"How was that?" Blaine asked as he scraped the seminal fluid from the finger of his glove into a sanitized cup.
"Oh, GOD! What the fuck have I been missing? NEVER...and I do mean, NEVER, have I felt anything so exciting. Look! I came about a bucket all over the table and NOT ONCE did you ever touch my dick! How the fuck did that happen? What did you do?"
"Just a routine prostate examination."
"Shit! I take it all back...what I said about faggots. If they feel that way while they're butt-fucking, then THEY'RE the ones who know how to have fun!"
"You mean if a gay student wanted to have anal sex with you, you might be more tolerant or obliging?"
"SHIT! I'd PAY him to fuck me!"
"Well, not until we find out what's wrong with your testicle."
"WHEW! I'm almost afraid to ask what's next?"
"Just a plain old CBC from your arm!"
"Hey, how often can I have my prostate gland checked?"
"Every man should have his prostate checked at least twice a year?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of twice-a-day!"
"I don't suppose there's a tub where you and Rex bathe...only showers, right?"
"No, there is a Jacuzzi adjacent to the shower room."
"Try to take two warm baths per day. It might give you some relief and just MIGHT ease some of the swelling down."
"Would it ease my prostate?"
Blaine laughed. "Kent, as much as I love looking at your naked body, I must ask you to get dressed now. I have a waiting room full of patients to see."
"Should I make an appointment to come back to see you?"
"By all means. I'm writing you a prescription to take next door to Dial Labs for your scans. I'm also going to give you a catheter to take home with you in case the swelling tries to close your urinary track. Do you think Rex can help you with it?"
"I suppose so. I let Rex feel my balls last night and I wasn't too embarrassed."
"Rex knows about your condition?"
'Yeah, I let him feel my testicles last night."
"He didn't flinch?"
"No. As long as we've been friends, we lived together, showered together, had sex with two girls together in the same room...and in all that time, neither of us has ever had a crush on the other. Rex felt of both my balls and it seemed natural. Neither of us thought anything out of the norm about it!" As Kent climbed down from the table, his lower left leg brushed Blaine's erection. Kent looked down at Blaine's tented crotch and said, "OOPS! Did 'I' turn you on, Doctor?"
Blaine blushed and replied, "That's ridiculous. I see naked patients all day...both women AND men and I don't EVER get this way."
"AHA. So you should be paying ME a compliment if I'm the first one! Should I get YOU a cup, a towel, and turn the lights off as I leave?"
"OF COURSE NOT! I...I don't know what happened to me."
"Maybe my butt reminded you of your wife's?"
"Now, that's quite possible. Don't take this the wrong way, but your butt IS rather beautiful...as butts go..." Blaine was sounding more flustered with each new sentence. Kent tried to gloss it all over with a quip. "I'll keep that in mind if I go gay after I lose my balls!"
"Listen! Do you have the time to go next door for the scans this afternoon?"
"I'm on my way."
"IF you need to use the catheter, ask Rex to help you but be sure that he wears gloves. Until we know what's wrong, use precautionary care, for, with something like Orchitis, it IS contagious. If you BOTH need help, have Rex call me at home and I'll jog over to your dorm room and show you both how to do it."
"I'll use that suggestion as a last resort. I'm just curious as hell to see if Rex gets a boner while holding onto my dick!"
"I somehow doubt if inserting a catheter into your penis will turn Rex on!"
"You never can tell."
Blaine opened the door and asked Jane to come in and draw the three syringes of blood. Kent gave Blaine a big grin as Blaine left and Jane entered. Blaine was still so bamboozled from his erection that he ran into the door as he was leaving.
"I'll call you, Kent, as soon as I know something!"
"Can you ask the lab to hurry?"
"I'll do my best, Kent...my VERY best!"
"You know something, Doc? You're pretty cool!"
"Thanks, that's what my wife keeps trying to tell me."
"Would you get angry or jealous if I told you that your wife is hot?"
"On that subject, young man, 'I' need no convincing."
"Yeah, I know she's taken. It's a shame I'm NOT gay. Her brother Rex is a dead ringer for your wife."
"You know I'd never noticed...but now that you mention it, you're right."
"That's because men don't turn you on either. Well, maybe 'I' did a little today while you were finger-fucking me!" Kent smiled that 'perfect 32' Pepsodent grin and once again, Blaine experienced that 'sinking' feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"That'll just have to be OUR secret, Kent. I seemed to recall that you ejaculated all over my table while I was getting an erection. Neither of us would want THAT news to get out, would we?"
"Does that mean that the two of us were involved in a one-day affair?"
"A one-day-ONLY affair."
"I gotcha! Hey, before I go, could you ease my tension just a bit?"
"What kind of tension?"
"I might be a football jock and all that, but to be honest, I'm scared as shit that I might have cancer."
"It's natural for anyone to be apprehensive about the unknown, but until you DO have something to worry about, let's wait and see first."
"How long before you get the test results?"
"If you go over there now and have the scans done, I'd say we'd have your blood work, body fluids report and everything back else in three days."
"Shit! I'll be nuts in three days without knowing something."
"Stay with Rex. Don't leave his side. Go to movies! Rent DVD's. Don't drink alcohol or smoke pot and NO sex, no matter how horny you become! In addition to a 'Heinz 57 Variety' of an antibiotic, I'll give you a prescription for some mild tranquilizers and something to help you sleep. Nothing addictive and nothing that'll keep you off the team."
"Did you forget I'm on the varsity team and booze, illegal drugs, and sex are off-limits to any of us."
"Yeah, but I'm sure my brother-in-law has a method of making anything that's off-limits quite permissible. I know Rex ALL too well!'
Blaine walked back to the small desk in the examining room, opened the middle drawer and scratched out two prescriptions in his worst doctor's scrawl.
"Here, have these filled. I only gave you enough to last three days, so take them as directed to make them last until I see you again. I want you to go into the next room while Jane draws your blood. Then see my receptionist and make another appointment for Monday."
"You're the doc!"
"Thanks for coming by, Kent, and try NOT to worry. I'll let you know when and IF there's anything to worry about."
"OK. Rex is waiting for me outside in his car."
"Why didn't he come inside with you?"
"I told you that I didn't want him to know...then after I told him, I didn't want you to know that I let him know. Does that make sense?"
"Ha! I suppose. Now I have other patients to see."
"Goodbye, Dr. Rogers!"
"Goodbye, Kent."
Kent left and Blaine stood alone in the examining room as if he were dazed. It was if he had become obsessed with Kent. Blain's heart was pounding in his chest, his breath was short. His thoughts were only about Kent as he remembered how striking Kent had looked, naked on all fours. What was there about this handsome young man that got under Blaine's skin? Why did he find Kent so damned attractive? Blaine was certain he wasn't gay...he'd never thought about being gay...he'd never even had a teenage jerkoff buddy...he WASN'T gay...but there was something about Kent that stimulated Blaine's male hormones. Just touching Kent's naked buttocks was enough to give Blaine an erection? But why, for God's sake?
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Rex was still waiting in the parking lot when he saw Kent coming out of Blaine's office. To pass the time, Rex was listening to cd's in his Spyder convertible with the top down. He beeped his horn at Kent who waved back and pointed toward Dial Labs, indicating that Kent had to go there. Rex had often been to Dial Labs to have blood work and x-rays taken after visiting Blaine, so Rex thought nothing out of the ordinary. He merely slid another cd into his dash.
Rex wondered if Kent had seen Jane, Blaine's nurse. Rex had seen her a couple of times OUTSIDE the office and had fucked her both times. Rex was eager to find out if Jane had turned Kent on as well. He only hoped that Kent hadn't made a date with Jane as it might be embarrassing to Jane if she knew that Kent was HIS roommate. Then Rex thought to himself, 'Ah, hell, they could BOTH fuck her at the same time. That's the reason God put so many holes in a woman's body...more than one guy could fuck her without having to wait!'
Kent stayed over an hour inside the lab and Rex began to become curious why drawing Kent's blood should take so long. Finally he saw the lab door open and Kent walked out to get into the car.
"Jesus Christ! What'd they do, perform an autopsy on you?" Rex asked.
"They might as well have. They took pictures of me inside and out...poked, prodded, and drew out the last ounce of my blood and every body fluid I'd stored since puberty!" Kent replied, half-jokingly.
"No kidding, Kent, why did it take so long? Did Blaine find something drastic wrong with your swollen ball? IT'S NOT CANCER, IS IT?" Rex asked, hurriedly, as he was suddenly alarmed.
"Doctor Rogers doesn't think so, but he had me scanned and tested just to be sure."
Now Rex DID get worried. He knew what a prolific diagnostician and physician his brother-in-law was and if Blaine suspected something serious, that would account for having CT scans run on a patient...but Rex kept his fear to himself.
"So do you have another appointment to see Blaine?"
"Monday...when all the tests come back."
"Did he give you a clue as to what might be wrong?"
"He said it could be a number of things. Primarily, he suspected something called, 'Orchitis'...you know, I told you about the article I read at the library about 'mumps' of the testicles?"
"I thought you were joking!"
"No, but it IS contagious!"
"Thanks for telling me. I guess that bars me from giving you your nightly blowjob!" Rex joked.
"I suppose, but the doctor DID say that you might have to help me with a hand job!"
"WHAT?"
"Just kidding. He gave me a catheter and told me to use it if I had trouble urinating and you might have to help me insert it the first time or two."
"I'm really getting to know you in a very fast manner. Last night, I held your balls in my hands and now I'm supposed to play with your dick!"
"Shit! Rex! You know I'd do the same for you."
"I was only kidding, buddy. You know there's NOTHING I wouldn't do for you!"
"OH?"
"Nothing that isn't medical. I mean, if you didn't have orchitis or whatever, I'd never hold your balls or dick!"
"What if I got bit by a snake on the side of my dick. Since I couldn't reach it, would you suck out the poison?"
"HELL, NO! But I WOULD send a spray of flowers for your funeral!"
"You'd let me die?"
"Fuckin' A!"
"Are you serious? As your best friend, I'd certainly try to save your life."
"By sucking on my dick?"
"I'd suck your dick AND your balls if it meant saving your life."
"All I can say to that is...you and I are never going camping together again!"
"And I thought you were my best friend...!"
"I AM, but that don't make me your cocksucker! I mean if we were fourteen or fifteen year old kids, just experiencing sex for the first time, I might be tempted to try it. But now that we're adults...well, things are different!"
"I'll keep that in mind if a scorpion ever crawls into your bed and bites you on your dick."
"Uh...could we talk about something else?"
"Are you getting a hard on talking this way?"
"Hell, no, Kent! My dick is so far up inside me right now, if I had to pee, I'd have to squat like a split-tail cunt."
"Okay, we'll drop the subject!"
"What else did Blaine say about your problem?"
"Don't get alarmed, but it COULD be cancer!"
"That's bullshit! Like I told you last night, cancer doesn't swell up like your ball did in two or three days. Sometimes it takes years for cancer to grow to maturity or to reach the danger level."
"Well, at any rate, that's why he had the scans run at Dial Labs."
"Then you've got nothing to worry about! Blaine would KNOW for certain."
"I'll take your word for it, but I need to stop at CVS Pharmacy to have a some scrips filled."
"Antibiotics?"
"One, yeah, but also something to keep my nerves steady until I find out what's wrong."
"Any more stops after CVS?"
"Yeah, BlockBuster. Dr. Rogers told me to keep my mind occupied with movies, DVD's, or books."
"Sounds reasonable."
"Also, NO sex, not even jackin' it for a few days."
"Thank God BlockBuster doesn't stock adult videos! We'll have to settle on action movies."
"Sounds good to me."
"Here we are at CVS. Want me to take the scrips inside for you?"
"If you would..."
"Sure. Let me have 'em."
Kent handed the three sheets of paper to Rex who got out of the car and went inside the drug store.
When Kent was left alone in the car, he began to cry. He put his head back on the seat and looked upward at the sky. "GOD, PLEASE! NOT ME! DON'T LET ME HAVE CANCER!". Kent cried non-stop for the next half hour while Rex was inside the pharmacy waiting for Kent's prescriptions to be filled.
Kent had cried himself to sleep in the hot sun, beaming down on Rex's convertible when Rex returned.
` "Wake up, buddy! I have your hemlock!"
"Huh?" Kent said, as he rubbed his eyes and quickly reached in his shirt pocket for his Armani sunglasses to cover any sign of his crying while Rex was gone.
"Hey, are you all right?"
"Sure, why?"
"Kent, I've been looking into your baby-blues for years. I'm the first one who should notice when something's wrong. Were you crying while I was in the pharmacy?"
"Oh...maybe, a bit."
"I...I've cried many times in my life...when I lost my parents, when I broke my one and only engagement with Sally Quarles...but I've never cried over my balls!" Rex said, half jesting.
"I'm wondering if I should call my mom?"
"For what? You don't know for sure yet what's wrong with you."
"Primarily to see if I'm still covered on my dad's hospitalization policy. I know the school carries a policy on each of us, but if it's something organic or pre-existing, I'm not sure if I'm covered for that. For example, those scans and x-rays can cost a small fortune IF a patient's not covered."
"I could always go back to CVS and buy you some paper cups and you could stand on one of the downtown street corners and ask for donations."
"Hey, I'm serious, Rex. I didn't have a fortune PLUS a big house left to me as you did. Man, you know that it's you who pays for our double dates. I can barely afford to eat after I've paid for my tuition, books, dorm, and lab fees."
"Kent, buddy, how many times have I told you that as long as I'm around, you don't NEED money."
"But let's take the absolute worst scenario. What if I have cancer and need several operations or radiation and/or chemo and my dad's insurance won't pay a dime toward it?"
"Then that's where the money my parents left me takes over."
"I can't let you do that! It's not as if we're a gay couple."
"No, but we are best friends and as close as real brothers."
"This subject has kept popping up all day...first with Doctor Rogers and with you, several times..."
"What subject?"
"Being gay."
"Explain..."
"I was just thinking if we WERE gay...you and I...I wouldn't feel so guilty about taking money from you."
"Well, sweetheart, and I use that word loosely, we AREN'T gay, but that doesn't mean I can't love you like a brother. Heck, remember a few years ago when we were preparing dinner together and you cut your finger on a butcher knife and as I was taking the knife out of your hand, I cut my OWN hand and the blood from each of our hands was running all over the other's hand. That's when we joked and said we'd be blood brothers for life."
"Yeah..."
"Well, we each have the blood of the other flowing through our veins and I guess we really ARE blood brothers and I have to look after my family should one of us gets sick...even if it means paying for the other's doctor's and hospital bills!"
"You know, Rex, sometimes when you talk like that, I feel as if I COULD fall in love with you...straight OR gay."
"Just keep those thoughts to yourself after we go to bed...SEPARATELY, I might add! I don't want you to feel you're in love with me and find you on top of my butt trying to fuck me just because you felt like it!"
"Sorry."
"'s'OK."
"What do you want for supper?"
"Pizza!" Kent said as they were driving past a supermarket.
"That's bullshit! I know goddamned well that Blaine would want you to eat balanced meals until Monday. So how about a steak, a green veggie, and a baked potato, followed by vanilla ice-milk?"
"Sounds good to me."
"Sounds even better to me than pizza. Besides, you're the sick one, so I'll cook while you watch a video."
Rex dashed into Publix Supermarket and bought food for three days...all balanced meals. Then they drove to BlockBuster and rented a total of ten DVD's. Both picked out the newest Mark Wahlberg flick immediately---"Invincible", all about football. Other titles included, 'Little Miss Sunshine', 'The Departed' (also with Mark Wahlberg), and 'Flags of Our Fathers", and they scurried home to their dorm room which they had equipped with a small stove to cook on.
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When five-thirty came, Blaine and Frank Whitcomb finished seeing their last patients of the day at almost the same time. Jane, the nurse, had gone home early with some private business to attend to. Usually, the 'private' business which she mentioned at work was getting ready for a hot date. Phoebe was busy locking up medical filing cabinets and turning off computers, printers, faxes, coffee machines, and also reprogramming the phone to forward emergency calls to Blaine whose turn it was to be on-call that evening.
As the last two patients exited, Blaine and Frank met each other in the hall. When time permitted at the end of the day, Frank and Blaine would have one drink in Frank's office to relax before going home. Phoebe bade both the doctors goodnight and wished them a happy weekend, as this was Friday afternoon. She locked the door behind her as she left.
"Come on in, Blaine," Frank said, going into his office. "Hectic day?"
"Not really...well, no more than any other Friday. How about you?"
Frank wriggled his hand, "Comme çi, comme ça...! Lose some, cure some..."
"You had to give bad news to some of your patients?"
"Two...one young woman and one woman in her sixties. Both have inoperable breast cancer."
"Jesus! I hate that. Damn it! What's wrong with the female population. The American Cancer Society provides mammograms almost like phone booths. But women are SO afraid they're gonna find out that they have a tumor, when in most cases it's curable if caught early."
"I know, Blaine. The young woman has two small children...one three and one eighteen months old."
"God!" Blaine exclaimed, looking down at the floor. "Too late for chemo or radiation?"
"In her case, it's already metastasized into every organ above her duodenum."
"Damn!"
"So I hope that your day was less traumatic than mine?"
"Pretty much so." Frank handed Blaine a small glass of scotch on the rocks. Blaine took it and held it up to toast his partner. Then he looked up at Frank and asked, "Frank, have you ever been close to anyone who's gay? I mean a family member, an old school buddy, a close acquaintance?"
"Off hand, I can't think of anyone. I used to wish my son, Harry, was gay." Frank sat down to sip his drink. "Hell, I still do."
"Why, for God's sake?"
"Harry's twenty-two years old. He discovered what a vagina is meant for when he was fifteen. During the next seven years, he's gotten seven girls pregnant...seven that I KNOW of. I had to pay for five abortions and two of his follies wanted to carry his babies to full term which meant to keep from being blackmailed, I had to send them off to two different resorts and pay for their lodging, their food, incidental expenses, not to mention the hospitals and doctors when they delivered. Then there was the matter of child support. Thank God, both girls were willing to settle for a lump sum, a rather LARGE lump sum, instead of stretching it out until the kids were eighteen. That doesn't include the three cars he totaled and the bails and fines I had to pay for his DUI's. Jesus Christ! If Harry had only been gay, I could have retired on a yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean on the Riviera."
"Damn! Frank! I never knew ANY of this!"
"Well, it's not the kind of thing a father can be proud of and boast about at the country club."
"What about Harry's sisters, Marie and Darlene?"
"No trouble at all...EITHER of them!" Frank inhaled deeply and sighed. "But why did you want to know if I knew anyone who was gay?"
"Oh, I'm not sure. I don't know any gay people either. When I was in med school, I had to read the Kinsey report and Kinsey said...I don't remember the exact percentage, but something like ninety-five or ninety-seven percent of ALL males had indulged in homosexuality at least once in their lives. That included pubescent mutual masturbation or whatever goes on at Boy Scout camps. I was shocked to learn that I was in the minority three or five percentile. I'd never had any kind of interaction with another male...sexually, I mean."
"Oh, I used to jerk off with my best friend when I was about fifteen...but neither of us thought it was homosexual in any way. He, my best friend, has seven or eight children. I married Phyllis soon after high school and had my brood of three." Frank sipped again. "You still haven't told me why you asked?"
"Well, supposedly, statistics prove that homosexuality is something one is born with and not something that develops in his lifetime...that is, it's not a choice one makes."
"I believe that theory to be true."
"I'm just wondering if someone can 'slip through the cracks of the norm' and find out later in life he is gay without any preconception?"
"You mean like schizophrenia?"
"How does schizophrenia compare with homosexuality?"
"When I was doing my internship, I worked for six months at a mental hospital. That's where I discovered that a person...usually, a younger person, can go through life with NO schizo episodes whatsoever. Then he or she decides to get high on marijuana or cocaine. Sometimes getting high for the first time...and suddenly, they begin to hallucinate and the schizophrenia which has been dormant in their system practically all their lives, manifests itself into full-blown schizophrenia."
"You're saying that perhaps a person's homosexuality could be repressed for years and suddenly pop out when he's twenty, thirty, or forty years old?"
"Don't quote me, Blaine, all I'm saying is that it could be possible. The brain still holds many mysteries that science has never come close to figuring out. So, are you ready to tell me NOW why you asked?"
"I..I..uh, had a patient today...a young man in his twenties...and he KNEW he wasn't gay, but during the past few weeks, he had had gay feelings toward his roommate." Blaine hoped that Frank would believe the lie he had just told.
"Blaine! You're not talking about Kent Stevenson, the Epperson quarterback, are you?"
"Of course not!"
"I saw Jane doing a CBC on him this afternoon."
"You know Kent Stevenson?"
"I'm a huge fan! The kid's terrific. He's not gay, is he?"
"No...this was a young man which I examined EARLY this morning."
"Whew! I'm glad to find out that Kent is not questioning HIS masculinity. There are about two or three dozen coeds that would slit their wrists if Kent were gay."
Blaine looked at his watch. "Well, Doctor Whitcomb, it's nearly six o'clock. Let's get the hell out of here and forget this place until Monday morning."
"I'm with you there, Doctor Rogers."
Blaine went back to his office to take off his white doctor's coat and pick up his bag, while Frank did the same in his office and then the two of them left for the weekend.
As he drove home, Blaine kept thinking about schizophrenia just suddenly appearing with no warning. Could homosexuality act the same way? WAS he feeling lust for his brother-in-law's roommate...again with NO warning?
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When Kent and Rex got back to the dorm from the grocery store, Rex suggested that Kent go sit in the jacuzzi while he prepared dinner. They could watch one of the DVD's and share a quiet Friday evening together in their room.
The bath was soothing to Kent. He had taken one of the antibiotics and one of the tranquilizers and almost fell asleep in the whirling tub. Occasionally he would reach down to feel his enlarged testicle, only to see if the water had made any of the swelling go down. But each time, he realized that it hadn't. He sat there for nearly half an hour trying to relax.
After he got out, he wrapped a large bath towel around his waist and walked barefoot back to the room. Rex was putting butter and sour cream on the potatoes as Kent entered.
"Hey, guy!" Rex said. "Feel better?"
"Mentally, yes. Physically, about the same."
"Why don't you throw in one of the DVD's and sit on the couch while I serve you."
"Would it bother you if I don't get dressed? I AM covered with this towel."
"Kent, I wouldn't care if you sat and ate stark naked, as long as you're comfortable."
"Thanks, buddy."
Kent popped 'The Departed' into the player as Rex served dinner on two portable TV trays, ignoring the forty-two thousand movie trailers played before the feature.
Dinner and the movie were both great. Rex picked up the dirty dishes and placed them in the sink. Kent got up carefully and told Rex he would like to go to bed early as he had taken one of his sleeping pills along with the dessert. Rex helped Kent get into bed then Rex returned to the couch to watch another movie, "The Devil Wears Prada."
The Meryl Streep comedy was almost over when Kent got up, saying he had to pee. The bathroom was about fifteen feet down the hall, but for many months, Kent and Rex had agreed it was okay to pee in the sink in the room, provided the urine was washed down the drain with hot water. So Kent meandered to the kitchenette area to relieve himself. Rex was on the couch laughing out loud at Emily Blunt in 'Prada'. Then he heard Kent calling him.
"Rex?...Rex?..REX!!!"
"What? What is it?"
"I can't pee!"
"What do you mean you can't pee?"
"Like I said...I CAN'T PEE. My dick is clogged up or something."
"Where's that catheter Blaine gave you?"
"On the table by my bed!"
"I'll get it! Don't move!"
"I'm not ABOUT to move, idiot!"
Rex ran to the bedside, got the catheter, and reached for the tube of KY-Jelly in case it was needed.
"What do I do?" Rex asked, nervously.
"Hold my dick and slowly feed the tube up my urethra."
"Shit! Is this some kind of trick to get me to hold your dick, you perv?"
"Rex, I swear to God! This is no trick. I...I'm about to die to pee. GOD! IT HURTS!"
"Well, will you hold your dick still?"
"YOU HOLD IT! I'm trying to keep my swollen ball from dangling!"
"Oh, shit! I think the tube's going in crooked."
"Pull it out and insert it again!"
Rex pulled the tube straight out and the tube was followed by a stream of blood. The tube apparently, had scraped the side of the urethra and had made a slight cut.
"OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! I AM SO SORRY, KENT!"
"OW! OW! OW!" Kent was screaming.
"Should I clamp my fingers around your dick to form some kind of tourniquet?"
"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW!"
"Here, let me hold your dick tightly while we walk over to the couch to get to my cell and call Blaine!"
"JUST DO SOMETHING IN A HURRY!"
Rex squeezed Kent's penis as tightly as possible while the two of them made their way to the couch. Rex grabbed his phone and keyed in #1, Maggie's number. It rang three times before Blaine answered.
"Hello?" Blaine said.
"BLAINE! IT'S ME, REX!"
"Hold on! Why are you screaming?"
"KENT CAN'T PEE! I tried to insert the catheter, but I must've done it wrong and I'm holding onto Kent's dick to stop the bleeding!"
Had it not been an emergency, Blaine would have bent over laughing at Rex's description.
"Rex, listen to me. Calm down. You're doing the right thing. Just hold his penis steady and the bleeding should stop momentarily. The lining in the urethra is like most other skin. You know...when you cut your finger on a butcher knife and apply pressure until the bleeding stops. I'll tell you what. I'll jump in my car and head toward the dorm. I should be there in ten to fifteen minutes!"
"Oh, God, PLEASE HURRY, BLAINE!" Rex shouted.
"YES! HURRY!" Kent echoed.
"What did he say?" Kent asked.
"He's on his way down here. He said to hold on and to hold on to you! Oh, dear God, I hope no one walks in and sees us!"
"Shit, Rex! I'm standing here, writhing in pain, bleeding to death, and all you can think about is someone catching you holding my dick?"
"Shut up and hold on to your balls. I don't have another hand to do THAT for you!"
In spite of the panic and pain, Kent found the entire scene funny and began to laugh. Christ! How he would've loved to capture this on video to show to everyone on the team later.
"What the fuck are you laughing at?" Rex said, almost angrily.
"You."
"Why me?"
"I was just thinking. You bought me dinner, now you're playing with my dick. I'm just wondering if you want me to kiss you?"
"You do and I'll yank your dick right off your body. THEN, BY GOD, I'll bet you can pee!"
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(To be continued in chapter three of "But Who Knows Where Or When" next week.)