BUS RIDE
The day was growing long and I had been awake now for over 24 hours. From here it was only two more hours before I would be in Toronto but I knew I had to get at least some sleep. The seats were very uncomfortable and I squirmed to get settled. What do you expect for five dollars and fifty cents? Oh, well. The bus ride was not the important thing. As long as I get there, I'll be quite happy. At that moment I felt an evil grin coming on and I drifted off into a deep sleep.
"Steve. Is that you?", came a voice. Was I dreaming?
"It's me, John. Gee! At least say 'hi'. I don't expect you to jump on me or anything. Just a simple 'hi' would do quite nicely."
"Oh! Hi. Gee. It's nice to see you. What are you doing here?", I asked, not quite sure of whether I was dreaming or not.
"You don't remember? YOU invited me down for the weekend."
"Huh. Yeah. Is it that weekend already? Boy oh boy. The place is a mess. I'd better clean up a bit before you even bother coming in."
"Forget the mess cutie, I'm not here to inspect your apartment. May I come in?"
"Whah? John? Sure, yeah. Come in, please." What did he just say? I must be dreaming.
"It's been a long time Steve. Yer still the same old Steve though - mind in the clouds!"
"I'm just tired John. I've had a busy week - seemed more like a month. What brings you here?"
"Come on. You can't be serious. Yer kidding me, right?"
"I do remember inviting you down for the weekend ... ", he cut me off.
"Yer damn right you did, and I didn't travel 500 miles to have the door shut in my face."
"No. NO. Of course not. Please. I'm just a bit tired. You'll have to excuse my confusion. I'm really quite happy that you decided to come."
"Well...ok. That's the Steve I came to visit", he said in rather maniacal tone.
John hadn't changed one bit since high school. Dark brown hair - still all there - and those gorgeous green eyes. His body hadn't lost it's shape, a perfect chest with a few wisps of hair that I could see jutting out of the top of his open shirt and the roundest tastiest looking buns I have ever seen.
"How do you keep so fit John? I couldn't help but, er, notice." I smiled and inadvertently gulped, something which didn't go unnoticed.
"Steve. Let's cut the small talk. I didn't come here to small talk either. Well, at least not right now. Maybe after...", he stopped and winked at me then glanced sideways so that I couldn't respond with an open mouth or a look of horror.
I was always unsure about my sexuality. John did something to me though. He made me feel whole and that was something which I had not felt since we parted 8 years ago. It was something which I had always wanted to have again but it was always out of my control.
"John. It really is great seeing you again. I'm really quite happy that you decide to come."
"Yeah. You said that already. Nervous?", his face lit and a smile came to him.
"Me nervous. 'Bout what?" I was trying very hard not to quiver outwardly but I felt like jelly inside. My stomach was turning over and over and I felt like a bad kid standing before the principal.
"It's okay, Steve. Why don't I just put you to bed so you can get some sleep?"
"I do need the sleep and I really think I should go to bed, but I'll only go on one condition."
"Name it bud."
"You come with me." There. I had said it. It made me feel relieved and at the same time somewhat scared. I'd never slept with a man before. And if ever I was going to, it would have to be John. He was so perfect. I had always worshipped him at school and had always known he was queer.
The other kids used to tease him and I was guilty of joining in a few times too. I never wanted to, but all the kids did it and whenever I tried to defend John they would all turn on me and call me a fairy and a fag. I just couldn't handle it. But whenever we called John names, he would just look at us and stand there. His face wouldn't change an inch. He just stood there.
One time I remember being pushed to the front of the crowd. John had seen me and looked at me intensely with those emerald eyes. His gaze caught me by surprise. I tried to push my way back and hide 'cos I was always scared that the other kids would find out about me. My efforts were all in vain. I was always a runt and never strong enough to do anything but lift my pencil.
Not being able to get out of sight, I decided to look up and take my lumps. I may not have been strong but I was certainly emotionally stable enough to know how to take my medicine.
John was still staring at me. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, looking deeper and deeper into his widening gaze. Any second I was sure that I would be face to face with his soul. The kids, all yelling, pushed ahead suddenly and I fell forward onto my hands and knees. I guess he sort of knew that I didn't want the other kids to know. He could have helped me up but he didn't. Something I was very glad for at the time, but it makes me sad to think about it now.
It gets me so depressed to see people picked on. One never really understands it until you have been picked on yourself. It's a whole different story then.
The covers tickled the bottom of my nose and I felt a kiss on the cheek.
"You dozed off mid-sentence Steve. You must really be tired. Why don't I just let you sleep?"
"No. It's okay. I was just day-dreaming."
"Well it sure must have been a good one 'cos your eyes were glued shut and the noise coming out of your mouth certainly wasn't opera", he chuckled.
"No. Well. I was just remembering school. You remember that time when all the kids were out yelling fag and queer at you?"
"Hey! If I had that good a memory...it really happened more often than you may have been aware."
"Really? Well, the one time I remembered was outside the boys entrance. You know, right near the bicycle racks. There were alot of guys all round you all yelling and stuff. Mickey Ruttledge shoved me right at you but I fell. Don't you remember staring...", I stopped. My feelings about that stare had become a personal treasure. I was not about to give them away.
"I think I do remember Steve. Yes. I did sort of notice you being flung to the ground there. I was surprised to see you there altogether. I didn't think you were that kind of guy!"
"Well...to be really honest John. I didn't think I was that kind of a guy either. Do you know what I mean?" I didn't have to say any more. John knew what I meant and he hugged me reassuringly. "I was never certain John, you must understand, but I haven't been happy with what I have been doing and many questions keep coming back to haunt me."
"Like what? I wouldn't want you to be unhappy Steve. Please, won't you share your thoughts with me?", he said boldly. I sensed the strength and sincerity of his words and began to formulate my response.
"I don't know if you ever suspected me in school...I don't know how you could of though 'cos I didn't suspect myself until just recently...anyway, I think that I...", I just couldn't continue. The shock of telling someone about feelings I held so close, but this was John! No one knew how or just what I felt. I decided to continue, after a little more encouragement.
"I'm pretty sure that I might be gay." There. I'd said it. It was out and there was no covering it up.
"It's okay Steve. I can understand how you must feel. It's not exactly a secret that I am. People have always known that. Even before I knew myself, they did. Always, at school the kids would shout at me and pick fights. I never wanted to fight, but if it came to that, I would have to. I learned to take care of myself real quick!"
"John. Would you kiss me?" Again, I was sharing my treasured emotions.
"I'd like to do more than that Steve. You know I've always liked you", he said smiling. His eyes shone and I detected a strong scent on the air. It felt good. I felt good. The whole idea was good. At long last, I might know myself.
At that moment, I didn't feel tired at all. It was like a thousand people had pushed me into this, all expecting me to at last free myself from the bonds of society. And, with each passing second, it became less and less a struggle as I fell into John's arms.
Warmth rushed over me and made me tingle. I hadn't noticed that John was completely naked nor had I noticed that I was too. He must have undressed me! As shocked as I was to realize it, the fact only made me feel comfortable, completely.
As he came under the sheets, I felt his body touching mine as the water in the bed settled. A wave of John descended on me and I was as rigid as a surfboard and just as eager to be ridden.
He came close and hugged me tightly. Oh...he was so strong. I lost myself in his embrace. My head rested gently on his chest and I could hear his heart thumping, echoing in that enormous cavern. I felt a leg wrap itself around my back like a serpent climbing a tree, his lips met mine and my eyelids fell heavily shut.
The visions filling my head were wonderful. I was waiting anxiously for the next act and it was then that I felt a hand where no one had touched before. I could feel myself rising like a bird taking flight. The tension of not having slept was swept away and the hand that vanquished it began to move.
The bed rocked as we moved from side to side, top to bottom and end over end. I wanted all of him. I never wanted it to end. His hand, working solo, was soon joined by another. It caressed my back. Rubbing me into ecstasy. And still the visions danced in my head making me wonder what would come next.
His hand moved down my back and his lips left mine, sliding over my stubbled chin and onto my throat. He tickled somewhat but the feeling was accompanied by so much moist warmth that it served only to elevate me more. He began nibbling, making me a necklace all the way around to my ears, where he began to gorge himself on my unprotected lobes.
That faithful hand was there to meet him and I heard him lick it and then it was gone. He continued to nibble and caress me and I lost myself in the passion of the moment. Then without warning, I felt something warm and moist rush between my buttocks. God did it feel good - the one sensation which I had never had yet knew was there.
It continued. His head slowly left my neck and I felt a cloud of warmth pass over my chest. His breath was moist and friendly. Just when I thought all pleasures were mine, my nipples grew erect at the onslaught of his tongue. He sucked and sucked and sucked and licked and licked and sucked some more. My head went back and the pillow swallowed me on both sides. It was then that I felt a finger sliding in and out of me and his mouth finally reached my erect cock.
First his tongue followed the contours, just checking to make sure everything was in preparation. Droplets of moisture forming from his heavy breathing made a home where his tongue had explored and then one gasp preceded a rush of heat.
He went down on me hard and began sucking away all the inhibitions programmed by society. It felt good. My nipples were still hard and not fully recovered from their last visitation. My ears sung and the scent of his manhood was strong in the air. I grasped hard at the sheets trying hard to hold on and to keep myself on the ground, but the pleasures were just too much and they overwhelmed me at last.
His mouth left me but his finger was still woking hard and had found my prostate. The first shots jetted into the air and another hand helped them to life. I gasped for breathe, my eyelids blinked uncontrollably and my head cocked from side to side. I spasmed again and more cum shot into the air. It felt so good. So good.
The orgasm seemingly lasted for minutes more than seconds. I can remember every thought I had. It was like I was dying and my whole life passed before my eyes. I suppose in a sense I did die at that moment, but only to be born anew into the world I had so angrily shunned in my earlier high school years.
John's gaze found me lying their naked and on my back. I looked up at him and smiled. He fell on me, kissing me on the cheek, an arm circling my waist.
"Hey. You're gonna miss your stop", came a loud siren like voice.
"What? Huh?" I turned, opening my eyes. The sun was bright and I had to blink a couple of times before I could focus evenly. The bus had come to a stop. I was in Toronto. I had been dreaming.
Maybe it was an omen of something in my future. I'd wrestled long enough with the idea of being gay and I was sick and tired of people telling what I could and couldn't do. It was about time I made up my own mind.
One quick glance at my watch reassured me as to exactly where I was, I grabbed my bags and walked the aisle to the door. The sign overhead read "Please watch your step" and as I looked down to take a footing a figure filled the doorway.
"John. Is that you?", I cried, somewhat surprised that he had actually come down to the bus terminal to meet me.
"You bet bud. Would I miss the chance to pick you up?" He laughed. We both did. He draped an arm about my shoulder and we walked off to his car.
"Sure has been a long time Steve. I'm really quite happy that you decided to come."
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