Mark was a bully. He fit the description of playground bullies, thick necked, man thickened arms, butch haircut, driving a noisy car from the fifties and a facial expression that constantly looked like he was daring you or anyone to confront him for any reason.
Tobin was one of the targets of his antics during years of elementary and even high school. He avoided the guy as much as possible but his geeklike demeanor and easily dominated personality was ripe for Mark's attacks.
As years passed, pushing and shoving graduated to black eyes and damaged property. A few school and parental interventions seemed to quell Mark's focus on Tobin not to mention the years when both were distracted by college or in Mark's case the military.
"Hey you" Mark yelled across the bowling alley.
Tobin, now in his 20's felt eight again. The voice was unmistakable. He didn't want to return to the tortured years but he looked in response. Instead of the overbearing sloppily dressed angry looking older kid of the playground, he saw Mark in a different way.
There stood a tall, handsome, uniformed, blonde man whose face did look like the school yard bully. But his face wasn't one of challenge anymore. He smiled as if a long term and long lost friend.
"Geek!, how's it goin?" he asked as if Tobin was indeed bordering on being a brother instead of a punching bag.
"fine" Tobin said not responding to the greeting willingly. "let's go" he said to his friends leaving Mark standing there ignored and alone.
"I was just saying hi?" Tobin heard the Marine's voice as he left. Something inside him wanted to turn and respond but years of abuse, domination, disrespect demanded he leave.
"May I speak to Tobin Miller?" the voice was quiet and polite.
"This is Tobin" he spoke into the phone.
"Hey I uh saw you at Aster's the other night. Wanted to say hi and stuff."
He knew it was Mark. Maybe the Marines had changed him or maybe he wanted to chastize for being ignored.
Tobin just said "yea, saw you"
"Oh uh well, I guess I need to apologize. I was such a jerk .... " Mark talked as if vomiting what sounded like volumes of guilt. "so uh just wanted to say that, I'm sorry. I know stuff now I didn't know then, I guess. Hell you were always the smart kid, you know computers, grades and stuff and I was a dumb ass."
Tobin didn't know how to react let alone how to feel. He still didn't like the guy. His bruises, embarassment, black eyes and feelign of being unable to stand up for himself were there deep rooted.
"Ok" he said and hung up feeling satisfied if not smug knowing the Bully asshole was left holding the phone. Tobin had no plans to accept Mark's apologies even if they were sincere.
But the lengthy apology did seem sincere and haunted him. Maybe it was the holidays, or the fact he felt alone despite being with family members. As happens to many during the holidays, Tobin needed to get away, to find people he wanted to socialize with and in his case to go to the hidden secret life he enjoyed openly on campus.
The bar was one of those dark unmarked buildings on a highway miles away from the churchs and standards that defined his hometime.
He had snuck into it years in the past surprised he was allowed inside and pleased his youthful appearance made him popular. It was there he drank his first beer and later, alcohol.
It was here too that he engaged in discussions with older men, some older then his parents about politics, religion, computers, life...it made him feel different then being a son among others at home.
Here too, he felt the warmth of hands on his chest, back, buttocks and face. And there too, lips of another male touched his openly and passionately.
He was truly at home there. And former friends greeted his return asking about college life and his health among other things.
Many had seen his willing participation in satisfying and being satisfied as happened after the bar closed and lights dimmed. The darkness and shared needs of occupants behind locked doors were better then driving another 100 miles where larger cities offered other outlets.
Nobody thought lesser of him. They all shared the same needs and desires. And here his entire body seemed to relax from the stress of performing the way his parents wanted him too...from the many reasons he had to create for not having a girl friend when asked..and for the anxious desire to return to the safe campus where his real life blossomed.
The beer seemed to quench more then a thirst. Pats on his butt by friends had more then a sexual purpose, it was an intimacy that only his kind could share.
He danced with an older man he well remembered having shared sex with in the past. And stripped his shirt as the heat, hours and alcohol demanded.
"Closing in fifteen" came the familiar announcement. He had been underage when two men he was with told him to sit tight and not leave with the others.
Feeling safe and not wanting to leave the attentive company, he did as he was told. The continued company, affection and eventual sex educated and defined the person in public that he knew he was in private.
And so he stayed again, enjoying the gossip no matter how innane or relative to life. There were new friends and old acquaintances. The beer consumed and passed through him. He couldn't drive home or that was the excuse he used to sit tight once again as many moved to the door. Some looked back as if to wonder why some were not leaving. Others gladly moved out the door with newly established lovers in twos and threes.
He wished someone had invited him too so he could spend the night naked sandwiched by cotten sheets and uncovered warm bodies.
The bar was closed, the lights dimmed, the juke box played a bit louder and half naked men danced. Among them Tobin writhed, closing his eyes to escaped in the overbearing drum beats.
Around him were the understanding and sweaty bodies of others who knew the value of staying later then the announced closing time.
Amidst the darkness, hands touched and lips met. Tobin knew he would be in the back of the bar where it was even darker and willing to give and get pleasures he could only find with others.
Some would engage while others watched. It was a rite for some as it had been for Tobin and a habit for many others.
Tobin danced feeling hands opening his fly button by button. He kept his eyes closed to concentrate on the experience that someone wanted to service him. The hands held and measured his arousal that surpassed the effects of his consumption.
He felt the heat of bodies moving close to watch and participate. Hands wiped the sweat from his chest to grip his nipples using the rings he had obtained secretly to inflict pleasurable pain.
He let it all happen even the hand that moved beneath the back of his now opened belt to finger between the orbs that he let be parted and invaded many times.
The mouth was warm the tongue educated and he began to float on the cloud of pleasure he hoped for.
Tobin would return to campus wondering who the strangers had been, how lucky he was to have this night and looking forward to a return home again.
He had stopped dancing and gyrated to the motion of the one servicing him and the one whose finger was inside him. He was meat, neither geek nor son, but one needed wanted respected and measured by his existance alone.
Through watery eyes he looked out not really wanting to see but the need to see. It was like some kind of dream or fantasy come true.
Some of thse he recognized and others he didn't stood around holding and jacking their cocks aimed at him and the one servicing him. Some were merely shirtless and others totally naked. One wore nothing but black chaps and another wore a full body harness that emphasized his remaining hairy nudity.
He had been here servicing older men who demanded his attention and educated him at the same time. Tobin enjoyed kneeling naked at their feet willing to take what they wanted him to take.
But Tobin enjoyed sharing private intimacies too, letting the warmth and unhidden needs of his partner and him create a bond that could not be defined.
He was in public now being serviced while many he had serviced before watched knowing he was where they had been.
And below him.....
Tobin coudln't believe what he saw. The kneeling naked form in front of him with his ass being invaded by one of the others in the bar, seemed oblivious to the anal penetration. He seemed deeply concentrated on and dedicated to servicing Tobin.
It was Mark. There was no uniform, no stance of challenge and confrontation, just smooth flesh, dog tags hanging and jingling like bells telling everyone that a soldier was there.
His mouth swallowed the full length of Tobin's average size but full of blood cock and his tongue lapped at Tobin's ball sac as well.
It felt warm, it was titillating it was fantastic. The bully was sucking his victim or years. He stood dominating the subserviant gay sex needy Marine. He wanted more and began to fuck the mouth.
The sides of the thick neck seemed to expand willingly taking the stabs Tobin made of Mark's throat.
Tobin felt his own pants slide down and the fingers moved deeper inside him. He normally loved anal invasion and hungered for well sized hard pounding using of his anal grip.
He thought about pushing the face away and attacking the bully ass as viciously as he wanted for revenge.
But the sight of the hungry sexual servant willing to publically reveal himself both satisfied his need for revenge and offered an excitement Tobin had not heretofore experienced.
Then the eyes. Mark keeping Tobin's cock in his lips looked up. He may have done it before, but Tobin's eyes were closed then. This time he saw the face, the cheeks full of his cock and the eyes that sought approval, that begged forgiveness and said something more.
Tobin put his hands on either side of the cheeks and he smiled forgiving while increasing his need to fuck the face he had feared in the past.
They danced naked together fast and slow. Others did too so it wasn't totally exhibition. But the fucking on the covered pool table was. That was why the bartender covered the table at closing time and why Tobin and Mark did it.
"Shit it's morning" Tobin said seeing the morning light peeking through the blackened windows. Most had left the bar though a few lay around sleeping and others dancing as close as lovers do.
They had been napping with Mark laying on top of Tobin on the pool table. Tobin saw his former bully didn't have his dog tags on. He knew they'd have to find them. Mark lifed himself off of Tobin immediatly chilling the equally naked lover. The jingle of dog tags told Tobin that he new work them.
"Where can we go?" It was Tobin who revealed he didn't want the experience to end.
"My place, everyone'll be gone by the time we get there" Mark smiled. For the first time Tobin saw the boyish face, not the angry bully. He touched the smooth cheeks below the Marine haircut.
Mark lowered his head so they could kiss. Each touched and patted the other's body as they located discarded clothing willingly adorning themselves with each other's shirts.
They didn't talk about the bully years, the injries, the agression or their regrets. The drive was quiet and long as they held hands riding in Mark's car. Tobin's would await his return.
The toilet received their morning urinal requirements as they stood naked once again side by side.
And their kisses and hands escalated their activities replacing a desire for breakfast with a desire for each other.
There was no plan, no spoken desire, only hands, mouth, cocks, buttocks giving, receiving, wanting, getting and exhausting.
No feelings of domination, apology, regrets, vengence or memories. Only two naked needy young men wanting each other.
The letter was simple. It couldn't be blatant due to the "don't ask don't tell" requirements that were still in place. Tobin read between the lines and words that described the place where they had sent Mark.
The last line "I assume you accept my apology" made Tobin laugh. If he had known what he now knew. If Mark had known..or perhaps he did.
If they had acted on what they really needed from each other years ago there wouldn't need to be a reason for apologies or acceptances now.
He answered the letter "none needed but you gave more then an apology and obviously I accept."
Tobin couldn't wait for the next holiday. He hoped the bully would return to the playround where he would kneel and satisfy what needed to be satisfied willingly.