Previously... "I love you too Brian." Nick whispered to himself before curling up with the remaining pillows under the sheets once again confused and overcomed with emotion. *************************************************
[Flashback]
"Kevin!" Nick's eyes suddenly became madly wide as he frantically scampered off of Brandon. "Ke...Kevin this isn't what it looks like..." Nick's voice trailed off when he finally realised that Kevin wasn't alone.
End of part 6
Nick and Brandon are finally together, but how long will it last? What will Brian do now? And how does the truth figure into Nick's future?
------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction and should not be taken otherwise. The storyline takes place in a PG-13 type of environment, so please enjoy the story. -------------------------------------------------------
Hearts Assunder Part 7 Acceptance
"Kevin, this isn't what it looks like..." Nick turns to find the rest of his Backstreet Brothers standing shocked and dismayed at what they had just witness...all except for Brian who was now standing a little behind Kevin. For some strange reason, Nick had a feeling that Brian was behind all this.
"Brian, I..."
"Brian had nothing to do with this. We were just looking for you and here you are straddled on top of another boy. What the hell were you thinking Nick?!" Kevin seemed to suddenly grow in size and towered frightfully over Nick. "Tell me that it's April Fool's day. Somebody please!" Kevin turned to the other Backstreet Boys Members. "Howie? Aj? is it the first of April? I was pretty sure it wasn't!"
"kevin, please calm down. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explaination for this." Brian placed a gentle hand on his cousin's bulging biceps soothing him from his mad rage. "Nick, I don't think we can hide this any longer. I think it's about the right time to tell them about the truth."
"What?" Kevin pulled away from Brian, in disbelief of what he was about to hear.
"Kevin, guys, Nick is gay. And he has been so since pretty much the band got together." Brian looked at Nick apologetically.
"And you knew...?" Kevin's mouth formed the words but no sound came through his lips.
"I had caught Nick in the bathroom at Lou's house around the 6th month of us being together. He apparently had a crush on you, Kev."
Kevin looked at Nick, his eyes pleading him to say something like "gotcha" or somewhere along those lines.
"It's true." Nick looked down and sighed. "I was so embarrassed that I was rooted to the spot. I had no choice, Brian had caught me red handed. I had no choice but to tell him everything. And he told me he understood. Ever since then, Brian and I have been the closest amongst the group because he and I practically kept no secrets from each other. We practically knew what the other was thinking! Brian helped me get through these past few years with the BSB. He's kept me strong enough to at least be able to hide what I am for the sake of the group."
"Until Leigh Ann came along, right?" Howie interjected.
"Yeah, until she came along. Until last week, I had thought that I was already living in bliss with Brian so close to my heart. But when he brought Leigh Ann in...I couldn't...I just didn't have the strength to continue anymore. I was suffocating knowing that what I had with Brian would never be the same again..." Nick adoringly smiled down at Brandon. "When all things started to look bleak, I went out to try and drown myself in alcohol..."
"Alcohol? You can't even stand the smell of it much less drink it!" Kevin grunted.
"I know. But the bartender wouldn't let me drink no matter what I offered to pay him. "That's when Brandon came along. I was so bummed that night that I didn't notice him come in. I just suddenly heard his voice offering me something then the next thing I know I was calling him up." Nick looked around at the family that he has had for the last 5 years. "Last night, he and I went out on a date with his brother and his brother's girlfriend. Of course, neither of us knew about that until the end. Being with Brandon for those short hours allowed me to finally be myself for once and I loved it. We watched a movie together, shared some popcorn and even danced for hours together. I don't know if I believe in love at first sight, but to me what I was feeling was close enough. What you saw wasn't the first time we...I kissed Brandon. Last night I kissed him after we left the night club. That's why last night Brian had to bail on you guys because he went to the club to pick me up.
And well you can put the rest together yourselves after that." Nick sighed. "Guys, I don't want you to be mad at me, please. I love all of you. The last thing I want to do is ruin all of this for you guys. It's just I was so alone until Brandon came along. And right now I don't know what to do without him. Please guys..." Nick's voice began to crack under all the emotion.
"Nick...you should've told us sooner." Kevin's forehead became a furrow of worries. "We would've understood. Like you said we are all family here." He motioned for the others to come closer. "And if this is important to you, then it is important to all of us. We are family now. We stand by each other no matter what happens." Kevin lightly planted a kiss on Nick's sweaty forehead. "To be honest with you, I kinda thought Aj was going to be the gay one of the group. Too bad for the girls now huh?" Kevin smiled light heartedly.
"Yeah, he only wished it was me." Aj leaned over to Kevin and smiled at Nick. "I told him the first night that I wasn't going to sleep with him so he's been fantasizing about me for like ever." The group laughed.
"Well, Brandon. Since you make our Nick so happy, why don't you join us up here. I want to get a good look at ya." Kevin kindly extended his hand to Brandon. "You better treat our Nicky right Brandon or I am gonna come down on you like a hurricaine if you don't." Kevin jokingly added.
"Well sorry Kev, but Nick's the only Backstreet Boy I'm interested in. But maybe Nick and I can hook you up with my brother. He likes wet things that blow." Brandon flashed Kevin with his boyish toothy grin and leaned in to kiss Nick on the cheek while the rest laughed at Kevin who was at a loss for words.
[Flashback ends] ************************************************ Back in regular time in Brian's hotel room.
"Brain, I..." Nick slowly walked up behind Brian who was once again on the computer.
"Nick, it's alright. I'm sorry. I really am. I can only hope that you can forgive me for what I did." Brian sighed and placed his hands on his lap. "I..I just couldn't handle losing your love, Nick. Seeing you two together devastated me...everytime." Brian turned in his seat, his face lost in a convuluted mask of confusion and despair.
"Brian, I loved you more than anything." Nick dropped to his knees infront of Brian. "I would've given anything up to have you in my life again." Nick gently laid his face on Brian's thigh, while at the same time hugging the shorter man's knees and kissing his hand. "I still would." Nick looked up with hope pooling behind the pale blue windows of his soul.
"That's just it...I can't. Not now, now that Leigh Ann has become such a big part of me. If only I can have you both." Brian cried and laid his head on top of Nick's. "Nick, I know that I loved you then. And I love you still. But I can't give Leigh Ann up. I love her too."
"Brian, I..."
"Hear me out Nick, please. I want to see you happy. And if Brandon is the only way, then I will do everything I can short of loving and having you for myself." Brian sat up raising Nick's face gently inbetween his hands. "I promise that I will never leave your side Nick. I will always be there when you need me. But I know that Brandon will tell you the same. I know he loves you almost -- if not just as much I do."
Brian pulled Nick into an embrace and kissed him lightly on the lips and on the forehead. "Now what say we get back to looking for that boyfriend of yours eh?" ****************************************************** [Flashback]
"Where's Nick?" Kevin asked Brian, Howie, and AJ as the three entered his home for their little writing session.
"He's with Brandon again. He said they'll be right along." Brian responded a little bitterly Kevin noted.
"Well did he at least say anything about that song he was working on to you guys?" Kevin welcomed the three and followed them to the living room.
"Yeah the surprise he's working on for Brandon you mean?" Howie smiled romantically. "Yeah, it's kinda sweet and romantic don't you think? He said he was going to surprise Brandon with it on their date tonight."
"Awww gay romance. I guess at least one of us had to be one, eh guys?" AJ jokingly added. "Kidding! kidding!" Aj stuck his hands up surrendering to the scrutinous gazes of his Backstreet brothers.
"You better be. You better not make stupid ass comments like that when they're around or when they're not. Nick's still a part of us, we love him, and we respect eachother for who we are." Kevin scolded everyone within the group.
"I know, I was only kidding. Besides you suddenly sound like an envious lover to me Kev." Aj mischievously grinned at Kevin.
"No, AJ, I was just disappointed. I expected you to be the gay one, not Nick." Kevin made a face at Aj who took it with baying laughter.
"There goes the door bell. Remember what I said, and keep the hush hush about the surprise." Kevin left the room to answer the door.
"Sounds like Aaron's here too." Aj looked at Howie.
"Hey guys!" Aaron Carter, Nick's little brother, burst into the room vibrant and full of energy. "What's up Bri?" Aaron hopped onto Kevin's leather couch a cushion away from Brian.
"Not much. Your bro late again huh?" Brian nodded towards where Aaron had entered.
"Yeah, well it wasn't my fault this time. Nick was too busy mackin with Brandon to notice that I was already ready to go." Aaron shrugged. "Say, anyone up for some video games? I brought my new monster truck game." Aaron crawled over to the entertainment center and hooked up the nintendo 64 console.
"Hey I was going to watch tv!" Aj whined.
"Hey guys." Nick finally walked in with Brandon in tow. "Sorry we were late. I lost track of time."
"Yeah, so we hear." Howie stood up and offered Nick a coke.
Nick blushed.
"So you guys ready to work?" Kevin walked in and clapped his hands once together.
"Yep, just one sec and I'll be right with ya." Nick gasped as the other BSB members head on up to their usual in Kevin's studio.
"You don't mind waiting out here with Aaron, would ya?" Nick asked Brandon.
"No problem, I love your brother. Reminds me of you."
Brandon smiled back.
"Thanks!" Nick and Brandon kissed softly. "I promise, I won't be long." Nick scurried after the Backstreet Boys after one last kiss.
"So what ya playing?" Brandon sat next to Aaron who was now immersed with the video game.
"Monster Trucks" Aaron answered automatically.
"Can I play?" Brandon picked up the second controler.
"Only if you promise not to fall in love with me first." Aaron stuck his tongue at Brandon.
"But you're so cute though." Brandon pouted playfully.
"I know." Aaron chuckled.
"Why you..." Brandon threw himself at Aaron and continued to tickle the little boy. Both their laughter floated up onto the second floor and brought a warm hearted smile to Nick's face. ******************************************************
End of Part 7