Sorry for not posting an installment in the last couple weeks. Finals has hindered progress for Assunder, I hope you all will tune in for the next book. It should be out in the next month or so after all my finals are done -- writing and revisions for the story would be done by then too.
'Til then I will post Part 1 of Book 2 With this announcement.
Thank you for reading enjoy the Book 2 tidbit.
Previously...
"Oh God..." Nick's whole body trembled as he finally realised why Scott had chosen that spot. "No, no, no, no...." Nick fell to his knees and wept beside the cold and lonely headstone. By the western wall of the cemetary, Nick wept openly against the grave in the cool shade of the willow tree... *******************************************************
BSB Hearts Assunder Book 2: Hearts in Harmony Part 1: Farewell
For what seemed like an eternity, Nick wept and wept beside the gravesite. His whole world crumbled around him. He didn't know anything anymore. His life was over. His heart had died long ago when he lost Brandon. Without his heart, now his body will soon follow. He just doesn't know how to live anymore...not now, not after this...
After hours crying, Nick slowly rose to his feet knowing that whenever he would waver in his passion, Brandon will always be here to bring him back to reality. Nick wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, and made his final resolution concerning the Backstreet Boys. After all this, he just didn't know if a lifetime of being alone is what he wanted. He knew now that when he returns tonight on stage with the Backstreet Boys, it may very well be his last. The winds of change has started to blow, unfortunately it was time for Nick to get off because there really was no place for him on the ship he currently was on...
Nick cried until he could cry no longer. He slowly gathered himself up and said farewell to the only man he now knew that he truly loved with all his heart. He gently placed a kiss on the gravestone with a heavy heart with regret that it was not the lips of the man that laid 6 feet beneath. With the final sigh of his broken heart, Nick turned his back to his past and walked that slow, painful, and lonely path back to his car.
The sun had blazed bright and warm earlier, but now it was only the coldness of his heart that he felt. Just as he had arrived, Nick walked back hugging himself, eyes barely open from the tears he had shed.
Unknown to the torn blond, a shadowed stranger watched him from a segregated spot in the cemetary... ******************************************************* Nick....
The doors of their hotel quietly opened to allow for his return. The cold, unfeeling air of the hotel lobby welcomed him to their lonely halls. Nick sighed once again and trodded slowly back to the Backstreet Boys' private floor...
"NICK!" The elevator doors opened, spilling out Kevin and his other Backstreet brothers...save for Brian.
'huh?' Nick wearily looked up, his vision still blurred by the loss of his beloved.
"We have been looking for you." Kevin sounded desperate. "Nick, where's Brian...." Kevin stopped a few feet from the hunched over quivering form of Nick Carter.
"Brian..." Nick whispered but continued to make his way to the elevator uncaringly. "Brian..." Nick repeated over and over in his resigned whisper.
"Oh, Nick..." Kevin finally noticed the glazed over look in Nick's once vivacious blue eyes.
The four boyz rode the elevator in utter silence back to their floor, with Howie, Aj, and Kevin sharing looks of mixed confusion and feelings.
Kevin understood what the other two boys meant with their looks. He knew that it was once again time for him to act as the big brother. ******************************************************* Somewhere else...
"Leigh Ann, I can't do this anymore!" Brian gasped as he fought for breath and speech at the same time. "I-I can't never look him in the eyes again after all that I've done to him."
"Give him time." Leigh Ann kissed him reassuredly on the forehead. "Nick loves you, just give him time." Leigh Ann kissed him again, this time she couldn't help but feel for her fiancee and for Nick.
"I-I can't be a Backstreet Boy anymore, not after all this...." Brian cried into Leigh Ann's shoulder.
'Oh God, please let Nick forgive him.' Leigh Ann cried fearing that anymore of this heart break will soon 'cause for Nick to lose both men that he had loved in his life. *******************************************************Back at the hotel...
"Nick, please. Talk to me." Kevin cocked his head slightly to the side, worrying deep in his heart for the best friends.
"I-I gotta get ready for tonight's concert..." Nick replied feebly as his body shook terribly knowing what he had to do after tonight.
"Screw the concert, Nick! Those fans out there can wait, this is beyond the Backstreet Boys that the media plays us out to be. This is us in here. This is all that matters. We are family." Kevin pleaded desperately.
"Kevin...I'm leaving the group." Nick sighed, seeing the surprise in the other's eyes. ******************************************************* That night at the concert...
"What's going on? What do you mean he is thinking about quiting the group?! He can't just do that." Aj was wide eyed after Kevin finally told he and Howie that tonight was going to be the last night Nick was going to be with them for a while. "You must be kidding, Kev. We can't lose either of them, not to mention both at the same time." Despite Aj's toughness on the outside, he knew that he loved both Brian and Nick and would only be devastated if either were to leave the band.
"Aj's right, Kev. Talk some sense into them. You have to. We are not...we can't be the Backstreet Boys without Brian or Nick. That's why we've been so successful for this long...we are family, now and forever will be." With the thoughht of losing either one of his best friends and brothers looming over all of them, Howie too was getting desperate .
"I know," Kevin sighed in response. "Don't you think I tried my best to talk both of them out of quiting already? Right now, they just need some time apart. It's for the best for all of us to give them time to heal. We can't force them back in, otherwise we would fall apart! Right now Brian's too ashamed and depressed for what he did almost 2 years ago; and obviously Nick is torn because of the permanent loss of Brandon."
"What are we going to do?" Aj looked at Kevin desperately, his frightened eyes hiding behind his silver sunglasses.
"I talked to management about what happened, and Mike says we should just try and go on without them for a while. He will come up with an excuse for the mean time." Kevin just finished speaking when Brian finally arrived.
"BRIAN!" All three cried in unison.
"Brian, are you okay?" Kevin rushed to his cousin's side.
"yeah..." Brian croaked, his voice ragged from the all agony in his heart.
"Brian, I have some bad news." Kevin sat Brian down gently on the leather couch.
"it can't be worse than losing Nick forever." Brian whispered searching the room for any signs of the young blonde.
Kevin cleared his throat and looked back at his Backstreet Brothers.
"Kevin, where's Nick? What happened to him?" Brian's pulse started to race in his veins, afraid that Nick had taken his own life.
"Brian, it's alright. He's fine." Kevin pulled him back to the seat. "It's just...it's just...." For the first time in the years they have all spent together, Kevin broke down and could not continue.
Brian was confused. Kevin's breath came in loud ragged sobs in his arms, while both Aj and Howie had the most forlorn looks on their face. 'What is going on...if Nick is okay then why all this?' Brian was about to speak up when Howie took up where Kevin faltered.
"Brian..." Howie sighed. "What Kevin is trying to say is that...is that Nick is leaving the group." Howie said sadly.
Brian's heart stopped. Never in his life had it crossed his mind that Nick would ever be not a part of the Backstreet Boys. Brian opened his mouth, but only groans escaped his lips, to hurt and shocked to find words to express his pain. ******************************************************* In Nick's dressing room...
Nick cried softly while he packed his things into his suit case. He never ever thought that this day would ever come. But right now, he knew that this was not the place for him. The Backstreet Boys just wasn't where he belonged anymore. Brandon had made him complete so long ago, without him, the Backstreet Boys had only been a beakon for his pain.
Nick's hands trembled as he placed his belongings carefully into his suitcases. His younger brother, Aaron, had come to try and comfort him. But he too had known and loved Brandon. He too felt the pain of Brandon's forever empty place beside his brother.
"Oh...God...." Nick gasped as he finally collapsed in tears. He had been okay up until he came into the building tonight. He had been so sure of it earlier. But now...now he was just as lost as he was when Leigh Ann first showed up in Brian's arms.
"Nick...it's okay..." Aaron tried feebly to comfort his older brother. Until now, he had always been the one to rely on Nick's strength and support. Seeing Nick so torn and hurt like this, Aaron wasn't able to keep himself from crying as well. ******************************************************* [Flashback]
"Aaron, go long!" Brandon yelped as he tried to dodge Nick's reaching arms. Their laughter echoed against the caressing waves of the sea in front of Nick's beach-side estate.
Just as Brandon threw the pass to Aaron, Nick tackled Brandon full on until they were rolling around in the sand wrestling for the dominant position.
"Ha ha, gotcha!" Nick pinned Brandon under him in the wet white sand.
"Alright, alright." Brandon laughed and tried to somehow turn the tide on Nick.
"Nuh uh, you ain't goin' nowhere." Nick laid on top of Brandon.
"Okay, okay. What do you want me to say?" Brandon smiled happily at Nick.
"Say 'uncle'." Nick playfully demanded. "C'mon, say 'uncle' and I'll get off of ya."
"And if I don't?" Brandon cocked his eyebrow at Nick and pursed his lips.
"Then...." Nick made a face that he was thinking about it. "Then, I'm just gonna lie here on top of ya and smother ya with kisses until you say 'uncle'." Nick laughed.
"Oh and that's the threat?" Brandon made a mocked scared look, and kissed Nick. "Hey, no pain no gain right?" Brandon smirked up at Nick.
"Why, you..." Nick laughed and buried Brandon with kisses all over his face.
"Uncle! Uncle!" Brandon cried between laughing as he tried to avoid Nick's soft tender kisses, playing along with the man he loved with all his heart.
"See, who da man?" Nick straddled Brandon's chest and gave him a raspberry.
Brandon laughed heartily. His body echoed his sentiments while he looked up at possibly the most beautiful individual he has ever laid eyes upon.
"ewwww!" Aaron ran up and tackled Nick off of Brandon. "Tag team! Tag team!" Aaron squeeled as he knocked Nick into the sea.
Brandon was quick to join the Carter brothers, and soon the trio were wrestling around in the water, while Aaron's dog Simba barked in excitement.
[End of flashback] *******************************************************
Back in Nick's dressing room...
Nick carefully wiped his tears away, kissing his younger brother on the forehead. "Thanks for always being there for me, man." Nick hugged Aaron tightly against him. "I wish...I wish, Brandon could see you now. He would be so proud of you." Nick wiped his tears once again then got up. "well, we better get ready huh? Show starts in an hour."
"Nick..." Aaron hesitantly got off the couch. "You going to be okay?" Aaron's forehead was a maze of worries for Nick, who he has always loved and admired.
Nick kissed Aaron again on the forehead, "yeah, I'll be alright now, kid. Thanks to you." Nick smiled down feebly at Aaron. "Now you go get ready, you go on first."
Nick returned to packing when Aaron opened the door to leave.
"Nick...I really miss Brandon too." Without even turning, Aaron whispered softly and quietly shut the door behind him.
End of Book 2 Installment 1
------------------------------------------------------- There you have it. What will Nick do now? How will the group take it? Stay tuned. In the meantime tell me what you think!
~John~