Broken Tears - Chapter 23 By Andy Lake
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Stop if the idea of sexual intercourse between same sexed couples disgusts you, and if that's so, what the fuck are you doing here???
Thanks, Stephen, for editing and being available.
All usual disclaimers apply. If you are not supossed to be reading this, then you shouldn't, but I know I can't stop you. sigh
All the following characters are fictional, all made up by myself, thanks to my twisted, yet erotic, imagination.
I'm the author, so obviously, I own the story and copyrights. It can only be spread with my permission or downloaded for personal pleasure.
HEY GUYS, I KNOW IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED, BUT I HAD BEEN SO BUSY WITH MY GRADUATION PREPARATIONS! BUT I AM DONE NOW, FULLY GRADUATED, AND WELL, I WILL TAKE A COUPLE MONTHS, MAYBE MORE, BEFORE APPLYING TO COLLEGES AND STUFF, SO I WILL HAVE MORE TIME TO WRITE!
E-mail me at : andrewgay41@hotmail.com
Recap - Hi! Well, in the last chapter we saw how Brandon and Ty's relationship got even more fucked up. Ty doesn't want to be just a random fuck. He wants something special. Brandon obviously cares about him since he worries so much about his safety, but he doesn't know how to express his feelings. John is back, and well, he and Ty made plans to go to Ben's Cafe to catch up, and that's what happened in the latest chapter of Broken Tears!
*********************** Guilt - Chapter 23 ***********************
[ Ty's POV ]
I walked into Ben's cafe with John in tow. He was checking the place out with a curious smile on his face. I dragged him into one of the empty two people booths and smiled at him. We took a seat, one in front of the other.
"So how's everything?" I asked smiling at him. He looked at me in the eyes and sighed.
"Bad" He said giving me a sad look.
"What's wrong?" I asked slightly worried.
"Well, I came looking for a boy I like...But I think he doesn't like me back." He said looking at me. I felt the awkwardness enter and fill the air.
"John...It's not that. You are very handsome, but I'm in love...With a douchebag but in love." I say getting pissed at myself for having feelings towards Brandon.
"I don't get it...How can you like someone who treats you like shit? I just don't understand you." He said pissed at me.
"You don't even know how he treats me. Let me tell you the whole thing, then you can judge." I said angrily as well.
"Ok" He said with a scoff.
I proceeded to tell him ALL of the story, Jeff and me, Tom and me, and finally, Brandon and me. He was looking at me deep in thought as I finished my story.
"Well, I don't like the Jeff guy at all. Tom, I guess, is mature, and Brandon insecure...But there is just one thing I don't get." He said, slightly bothered.
"What's that?" I asked looking at him, and he scanned my face.
"You are just as bad as Cale." He said, and my face turned into pure anger.
"What are you talking about?! I would never do to anyone what he did to me." I said nearly in tears.
"You already did...To Brandon's girlfriend..." He said staring into my eyes, and the anger in my face turned into shock. My mouth was slighlty open, and I tried to formulate an excuse, but no, I'm just as bad as Cale. John is right. I covered my mouth in shock. I did to someone what he did to me...I know the pain of being cheated on. I know how it hurts, and I did it to someone.
"I'm sorry Ty, but it sounds to me like you screwed up...You have to talk things out with this girl." He said looking at me sternly.
"But isn't it better if she doesn't find out? She may dump Brandon, and he would hate me if she did so." I said worriedly.
"I know you. I know you are pure, baby, but if you don't do this it will eat you up." He said soothingly. I looked at his warm smile and motioned him to come over to my side of the booth. He sat by me, I rested my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me.
"John...Why did you come here?" I asked him seriously.
"I already told you. I came here cause I like you and wanted to know if you wanted to be with me." He said matter of factly, and it sounded a little too rehearsed for my liking.
"Yeah...But I know you have to go back in a couple weeks...Do you have a plan?" I asked him. He looked at me and then looked downward.
"I was planning to ask you to come with me, at least during your summer break..." He said looking at me, and I smiled at him.
"I don't know. I'd love to, but I just love it here." I said smiling at him.
"Even when someone here wants to kill you?" He said looking away, and my mouth opened slightly in shock.
"H-how?" I asked in shock. I was sitting still now, looking away from him.
"I met Kyle...He was in England and told me about it, and he suggested that I should come and get you." He said looking sad towards the floor.
"So, that's why you came?" I asked him in shock. He nodded and held my hands.
"Please come with me. It's not safe here...Please." He begged me.
"I can't. I need to find this guy...If I don't, he can do what he did to me to someone else." I said trying to reason with him.
"At least promise me you'll think about it...Please." He said moving the hair out of my eyesight. I nodded, and he sighed in relief.
I was about to ask him something else when I saw Brandon walk into the cafe. He had his arm around Dina, and he kissed the top of her head and smiled brightly at her, one of those little bad boy smiles of his. My heart shattered in my chest. John followed my eyesight and glared at Brandon for a second, then he composed himself.
"He is hot, but you can get someone better." He said kissing my cheek. A cold shiver ran through me.
"I don't want someone better." I said looking out the glass window. My reflection was faint, my hair seemed long, to my shoulders, and for the first time, I found it ugly. I wanted to be able to look at my face completely. I brushed my hair backwards, and my eyes looked teary. Brandon and Dina's reflection appeared in the glass, and I turned around slowly, putting on a fake smile. They looked at me and smiled.
"Hi, you. Haven't talked to you in a while." Dina said sitting across from me. My hand grasped John's as I looked at her, feeling guilt shower over me. Brandon sat in front of John, and his grip on my hand tightened.
"Missed you, too...Dina can I talk to you privately?" I asked her. She looked confused but nodded. Brandon and John glanced at me for a second and slid out of the booth so Dina and I could step out. I looked at her with a sad smile, and she smiled brightly. I knew she was happy with Brandon, and I didn't want to shatter that...But she had to know. We walked to one of the empty booths in the back, and I sat across from her. She looked worried for a second.
"Before you say anything, I'm having a party tonight at my place...You should come. You seem kind of haunted." She said grabbing my hands across the table. I looked downward, my eyes teared up, and a couple of tears fell onto the table. How can I do to a friend what Jeff did to me? How can I have the heart to shatter her happiness?
"I-I-" I stood there looking down, and her hand stroked mine.
"What happened?" She asked teary eyed herself.
"I slept with Brandon." I said softly. Her stroking stopped, and a couple seconds later, her hand left mine. I looked up, and she was covering her mouth.
"B-b-Brandon?" She said slowly as tears ran down her face. I knew that face, the face of pain and wonder...What did I do wrong? Why? Is it my fault? I couldn't go through with it. I just can't make her feel the pain I felt. It's too much. A friend fucking your love...There is nothing worse.
"H-he was drunk, and I thought he was hot. So..." Tears ran down my face as I told her a lie, a lie that made me feel like scum. "I seduced him, and he kept calling your name when we did it. He thought I was you." I said sobbing into my mouth. That lie was a big blow to my self esteem. I felt like a whore. I felt like what I was saying was real. "I disappeared before he woke up and cleaned the place so he wouldn't suspect anything...He doesn't know." I said, still not looking at her. I slowly raised my face, and she looked pissed, beyond pissed. She raised her hand and slapped me across the face. Many heads turned, Brandon stood up instantly, and John looked at me with sad eyes.
"You fucking faggot...You are a little piece of shit chasing after a straight guy, you fucking whore...And you could only get him to fuck you while he was drunk and thinking about me! That's how shitty you are. He doesn't even think about you that way... You disgust me. Don't ever speak to me again!" I felt her words pierce through me, and the sting of her slap burned my cheek. I rubbed my cheek and nodded. "Don't you ever go near him again, you cock hungry bitch!" She said with a snarl. Brandon rushed to us, and he grabbed Dina's hands.
"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked stroking her hand...Tending to her, not me, because he loves her, not me.
"Nothing. Let's go...I don't feel like being around a fag." She said icily, and Brandon looked taken aback. He looked at me, tried to walk towards me but stopped and shook his head. Dina grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the cafe. I felt a big hand rub my shoulder, not a familiar touch. I looked up and saw Ben, the cafe owner, staring down at me.
"Hey there...You ok?" He asked with a warm caring smile.
"Yeah." I said looking up. He nodded and moved back to the kitchen, and John was looking at me confused.
"Why did she take off with Brandon? I thought she would hate him after you told her." He stated scratching his head. "Americans are odd." He said again.
"I told her Brandon was drunk and that it was all my fault." I said feeling my tears wash over my face, and he looked taken aback. He took my hand and led me to the booth near the glass window. We sat down, and he placed my head on his chest. I sobbed gently as he rubbed my back soothingly.
"Why did you do that?" He asked kissing my forehead.
"Because I love him." I said sobbing into his shirt. He rocked me back and forth and whispered what I think was a lullaby in my ear, and his hand rubbed my back gently.
"He doesn't deserve you." I heard him say, and his voice sounded sad. I looked up at him, and he looked haunted, like something was troubling him deeply.
"I don't care. I still love him." I said and sobbed on his chest, tears running down my face. I was feeling ashamed, betrayed, used, and insulted. I looked out the glass window and saw Brandon looking at me while Dina talked to him. He stared at me for a while until I looked away.
[ Brandon's POV ]
Ty and Dina went to a booth in the back to talk leaving me and John alone, and I eyed him suspiciously.I didn't like him around Ty. Well, I didn't like any other male around Ty. He was looking straight at my chest. My button up shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and the tattoo on my chest was visible. The tattoo looks like a wound being clawed by a tiger.
"Like tattoos?" I asked him tryin' to make conversation. He looked up at my face.
"Yeah, that one is awesome." He said with a smile.
"You got any?" I asked cooly.
"Four" he said smiling proudly.
"Cool. What are they?" I asked him. He lifted up his long sleeve shirt, and I saw some writing on his wrist, kind of like arabic.
"This one says "love imperfections". Cool, right?" He said smiling.
"Yeah...Where are the other three?" I asked. He smiled at me and lifted his sleeve. There was some writing on his shoulder that had a pair of eyes under it.
"This one says "even when it looks like you can't". They are connected." He said smiling and showed me the crook of his neck where there was some writing as well.
"What does that one say?" I said with sincere interest now.
"It says "because they make you unique. That's it." He said covering back his neck.
"Thought you said you had four?" I said as he unbuttoned his shirt.
"Yeah, this one is the fourth, no relation with the other tattoos, though." He said showing me a part of his bare chest, and there in beautiful cursive were two letters in english, Ty. Right above his heart.
"Ty...As in Tyler?" I asked slighlty angry.
"Yeah. He is always here, dude. I love that boy, and I'll do anything to have him." He said looking over his shoulder. I felt the urge to punch him and tell him Ty was my baby, and I almost did, but I heard a loud smack. I looked toward the sound and saw Ty covering his cheek and Dina's hand retracting from it. Obviously she had just slapped Ty square in the face. I stood up and rushed to them, and Dina stood up and grabbed my hand. She insulted Ty, who looked terrible. I tried to move towards him to hold him, but I couldn't move. I followed Dina outside. The sky was dark, and rain drops started to fall down slowly, not a full on rain.
"Dina, what's wrong? Why did you hit him?" I asked pissed at her.
"Well, he had it coming, that little faggot." She hissed completely angry.
"Dina, please tell me what's wrong. You are never like this." I said trying to reason with her, but she looked way too upset.
"I don't know how you'll react, baby...You might end up killing the faggot." She said pissed, and I got mad.
"Don't call him that! What's wrong? Tell me!" I screamed at her. She looked at me and then to the pavement.
"Babe...Well, sigh At the lake house at the wedding you were drunk...And he told me he slipped into your room and took advantage of the fact that you were drunk and got you to have sex with him, and you thought it was me, so you let it happen. I don't blame you, baby...That faggot is to blame going for you like you care for him." She said looking over at the glass window where Ty sobbed into John's chest. He looked at me, we locked eyes, and he looked away. I clenched my fists, and my teeth started to grind against each other. I placed my fist over my mouth and bit on my knuckles, making my eyes water. Why? Why the fuck does he have to put everyone's happiness first and sacrifice his? Tears threatened to come out of my eyes as I bit on my knuckles.
He took the blame for me. He got the hit. I looked back at him, and he was sobbing uncontrollably in John's chest. I wanted to be John, more than anything, at that moment. I wanted to hold my Ty and make him feel safe, but no, I stood there looking at him crying, looking at him hate himself because of me. I looked over at Dina.
"I-I'm sorry." I said. I didn't know what to say.
"It's not your fault, love.. Just don't beat him or something. Calm down. He won't get near us again." She walked to me and held me close to her, and I wrapped my arms around her. The rain was pouring now, and I let my tears flow and mix with the rain. I looked over at Ty, and he was looking at us hugging. He managed to smile at me, and it just made it worse. Why does he have to love me? Why can't he love someone who can give him the life he needs? I know I can't bear the thought of him in love with another man...It's so confusing. I walked to my car like a zombie and opened Dina's door. She got in, and I went to the driver's side. I dropped her off at her home, and as soon as I was in my garage, I started slamming the wheel with my fists screaming, and punching the horn.
"Fuck you, Ty...Fuck you!" I screamed into the wheel as I let out my feelings. Why did he tell her that? Why did he spare me? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything! I walked into my room and dropped onto my bed. Ty's tear stricken face was in my mind, warning me that as soon as I closed my eyes I would be haunted with nightmares.
[ Ty's POV ]
I composed myself as John dropped me off at my house. He left for his hotel and gave me a kiss on the forhead. I walked into the house and looked at the rain...I hate the rain. It always rains when something horrible happens to me. I HATE IT! I made my way upstairs and walked into Li's room.
"Hey" I said sadly. She was ironing her hair and was nicely dressed.
"Baby, something wrong?" She asked looking at me through the mirror.
"Brandon...I told Dina...But I blamed it all on me." I said. She stopped ironing her hair and looked back at me.
"You did it because you didn't want her to go through what you suffered?" She asked looking at me.
"That's about it."
"Well, do you want me to stay with you?" She asked concerned.
"You're going to Dina's party, right?" I said plainly.
"Not anymore." She said smiling.
"Nope...Go. I don't mind. Just don't drink...Remember." I say pointing at her belly.
"Are you sure?" She asked still concerned.
"Yeah. I wanna be alone." I said as she nodded.
"Ok, babe...Tom will be here any minute. He is going to take me and Jeremy since my love's car is broken." She said ironing her hair. The doorbell rang.
"That must be him. I'll keep him company while you finish getting hot...Which could take a while since you look like shit." I said with a smile. She shot me an evil glare, and I walked downstairs and opened the door. Tom smiled at me.
"Long time no see." He said hugging me and lifting me up in the air. I laughed, and he lowered me down.
"Yeah" I said and led him into the room.
"So are you going to the party?" He asked looking at my wet clothes.
"Nope. Don't want to party tonight." I said looking sad.
"Sounds sad...Are you ok?" He asked concerned.
"Yeah. Just don't want to talk about it...Sorry." I said making him nod silently.
"Whatever it is, it will be ok. I'll always be here, you know." He said smiling sweetly.
"I know. Thank you, Tom." I kissed his cheek, and he blushed slightly.
"You're here." He said pointing at his heart with a cheeky smile. "And here you are always smiling" He said making me blush.
"Thank you." I kissed his lips just as a thank you. There was no spark, but it was pleasant, though. He beamed and looked into my eyes.
"I wish there was a spark." He said touching my hands.
"I do, too." I said, and we heard footsteps from the stairs. We looked at Li coming down with straight hair and a black party dress with her handbag in hand. She looked good. Jeremy entered the room and whistled at her.
"You look stunning, love." He kissed her sweetly and held her hands. Tom stood up and walked to them.
"See you later, Ty." They said and walked out the door with umbrellas in hand. I heard the car doors open and close and went up the stairs and into my room. I took a hot shower and dried my body. I grabbed Li's hair dryer, dried my hair nicely, and I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Somehow, I hated my reflection. Maybe it was because of what I did to Dina. Maybe because that boy looking back at me was in love with someone who continously breaks his heart. I looked at myself with sadness, went into Li's room, and grabbed some stuff out of her hair bag. I rushed into my room and looked at myself in the mirror of my dresser. I used two fingers to measure my hair, and it reached to the bottom of my nose. I grabbed the scissors and measured again. I stopped midway right on the bridge of my nose and cut. A blonde strand of hair fell on the dresser, and I kept cutting and cutting, wanting to erase the image in the mirror, trying to change my shoulder length blonde hair. It was now short like a normal guy's cut, but I still had my bangs. They didn't reach my eyes, but they covered my forehead and eyebrows. I grabbed more stuff out of the bag and washed my hair with the conditioner. I trimmed, to even my hair out, and dried it with the hair dryer.
I stood in front of the mirror looking at my body and my face...I looked different. I could see my whole face, my plump red lips, my big blue eyes, my button nose, my high cheekbones, and my ears. My hair was short in the back and on the sides, and the bangs covered all of my forehead. I looked GOOD! I liked it so much better, as I could see my face completely. I took out my contacts and reached for my glasses. I placed my rectangular glasses on and looked at myself in the mirror. I like it...I look like I used to when my mom cut my hair, my boyish looks still alive. My rich blonde hair was covering my eyebrows evenly, my eyes looked sad, but still, I felt happier. I wasn't hiding behind my hair anymore, and I liked looking at myself this way. I was still looking at my face when my phone rang. I walked back inside my room, picked it up, and checked the screen. It read "BRANDON", and I answered very reluctantly.
"Hi" I said through the phone.
"Ty...Something happened." A worried Brandon said through the phone.
"What's wrong?" I asked worried.
"The party...There was an accident, Ty...We think they died." I heard Brandon say, and his voice was full of fear.
"Who?" I asked as my gut clenched. My pulse was high, and the room began spinning around me.
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Next Chapter will be up sooon!!
Hope you really enjoyed this story, and as you may have noticed, it has kind of a personal meaning. I hope it got to you. :D
Thanks for reading, and I hope you like my story so far. If you haven't read my other story on nifty, it's called Aphrodite's Curse. It's quite recent, so you should look it up. It must be in the first 50 stories.
Thank you again, and please e-mail me at andrewgay41@hotmail.com if you like my story. Writers, if I can call myself that, love feedback, and don't be too shy to ask anything personal. Please specify which story you are commenting about.
Thanks, Stephen, for editing. You are AWESOME!!
HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER. STICK AROUND CAUSE THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET STEAMY!!
About the author!
Well hi! It's me, Andy. I'm the author of this story, and I hope you are liking it so far. In most e-mails you seem to want to know stuff about me, like my age, hobbies, etc. Well, I'm 18 years old, I enjoy writing, as you can imagine, I love writing poems and songs, and well, express myself through words. I want to be a Doctor, my favorite color is blue, I looooove ice cream, my favorite movie is Easy A, and my favorite t.v. show is Friends!! :D
I love Chandler, and well, I kind of have his sense of humor and that sarcastic edge to it. :D Well, that is me, and if you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to e-mail me!
XOXO Andy