All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2003
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK SEVEN
"I WILL LIFT UP MINE EYES"
Chapter-Seventy-two
<><><><><><><><><> "Can this change that I feel Really be real Or will it fade away? How, I hope it will stay! I hope it will stay!"
"What Happened To Me Tonight?"
From the Broadway musical "Kwamina"
Music and Lyrics by Richard Adler
Copyright 1965
On his deceased mother's side of the family, Johnny Kane had a cousin, Steve, who was about to become a big part of his and Jeff's life.
Steve Jarvis was one of the most popular young men in Hawthorne, North Carolina, a small town of just under 6,000 total population. While larger cities had progressed, Hawthorne remained antiquated and outdated as it were still living sometime in the mid 1950's. Steve's reputation for screwing practically every girl in his high school was rivaled only by the almost equal number of co-eds, his best friend, Hal Carson, had fucked. There were three other guys in their immediate group of close friends: Randy Sage, Tyler Groom, and Wade English.
Steve and Hal had never "played around" with one another as most young boys had done during their pubescent teen years, the years of sexual discovery. Hal had a somewhat steady girlfriend, Carolyn Beatty in Carthage, twenty miles east of Hawthorne. The main problem in this relationship was that Carolyn was in love with Hal and more serious about him than he was towards her. They had sex several times a month, but Hal was extremely careful, always using condoms as he had no desire to become the victim of a shotgun wedding.
Hal's younger brother, Noah, was the 'brains' of the two Carson brothers, having won a full scholarship to Baylor School for Boys in Signal Mountain, Tennessee. Noah had had his seventeenth birthday and was returning home to Hawthorne for the summer between his junior and senior years. He blossomed late, being more interested in scholastics than athletics. He had never paid much attention to developing his body until he tried out for, and made, the swim team at Baylor. He soon learned his ability as a speed swimmer would be enhanced if he lifted weights to formulate muscles in his chest and arms. Hal, now, had a body that most kids his age would die for. His physique was better than his brother's, Steve's, Randy's, Tyler's, or Wade's.
They all were astonished by Noah's muscular build when he arrived home for the summer. Steve paid particular notice to Noah, whom he had always thought of as the little kid brother of his best friend...the tyke who always seemed to get in the way when he tagged along with the gang, trying to be "one of the boys". Hal was curious about Steve's sudden interest in Noah, but sloughed it off, as he'd never had feelings, at least sexual feelings, toward any male in his life. Hal's radar was alerted however, when he saw Steve eyeing his brother, but made no to-do about it, as Noah was old enough to take care of himself and Hal was certain his best friend, Steve, was giving his brother the same attention anyone would evince who was looking at a perfect male specimen, like a bronze statue in a museum, even though no one in Hawthorne had ever visited a museum.
Steve and Hal planned to meet the other guys at Smiley's Pool Hall on Friday evening, the first night that Noah was home. Noah had learned to shoot a pretty good game of billiards at Baylor and felt that he could show his older friends a thing or two about his new expertise with a cue stick.
The first game was a four-player round of "15" ball between Hal, Steve, Randy, and Noah. Noah was the fourth to shoot and at the amazement of all who watched, Noah cleared the table. Hal was impressed and pleased that his younger brother had developed a few manly skills while away at military school. Steve, on the other hand, was not only impressed by Noah's knowledge of the game, but by his physical prowess. Steve was wondering what else Noah had learned at the boy's school as he payed close attention to Noah's butt every time Noah leaned over the felt table to reach for a shot. Steve was watching Noah while Hal sat back and looked at the way Steve was ogling his brother.
The six of them took turns playing eight games with Noah winning every one that he played. He was the big winner, which meant that he had to buy the beer to celebrate. Being under age, Noah gave the money to Hal to buy three six packs of Bud at Higgins Convenience Store, the only one in Hawthorne. They all decided to pile into Steve's Chevy and go out to the old mill to drink and raise hell among themselves. The whole time that they spent getting tipsy, Hal closely watched Steve who was watching Noah while Noah only returned a few cordial glances back at Steve.
Everything was back to normal the next week until Steve approached Noah and asked him to go to a movie with him the next weekend. Usually, when Steve went to a movie, if he didn't have a date, Hal always went with him. But on this occasion, Steve had not invited Hal and Hal was not only hurt but also suspicious of Steve's sudden interest in his younger brother.
Hal kept his jealous feelings to himself the first part of the week, but Wednesday afternoon when he saw Steve tinkering with his Chevy at Quarles Garage and Filling Station, he decided to confront Steve about his being left out of going to a movie with the two of them.
"So, what's wrong with the tin Lizzie?" Hal asked Steve, who was on the flat wagon underneath his car.
"Gotta an oil drip. The fuckin' thing almost burned up on me going home last night. I checked the filter and the oil canister was bone dry."
"Think you can fix it?"
"Almost as good as you," Steve replied. "The metal tube leading to the carburetor has a slit in it. I just gotta patch it or replace it, that's all."
"You seen Noah, today?" Hal asked, nonchalantly.
"Nope. He's your brother. Why should I know where he is?"
"Nothin', except he left the house real early and I ain't seen him all day."
"Sorry, bro, I can't help you there."
"I...I heard him mention to Momma that you and him was goin' to the movies Friday night."
"Oh, you did, did you?"
"I was just wonderin' why I wasn't invited?"
"I just figgered that since you didn't have a date with Carolyn last weekend, you'd probably want to see her this weekend. That's all."
"Maybe you shoulda asked me first if I had a date with her."
"Shit, man, you sound like you're jealous or somethin'! Goddamn, I'm just goin' to watch a fuckin' movie with your kid brother. I haven't spent much time with him since he got home."
"Fuck! You never spent any time with him before," Hal said. "I'm just wonderin', why now?"
"Christ on a crutch, Hal. You're makin' it sound like Noah and me are goin' on a date! You know me better than that! You should know Noah, too. I mean, it's not like either of us are queer or anything like that! So what's the big beef? If you wanna come with us, then come on!"
"I just don't want to tag along and get in the way...like Noah used to when you and I wanted to get away and go out with the gang!"
"Look, Hal, if Noah and I do anything out of the ordinary, you'll be the first to know...however, I wouldn't hold my breath! Goddamn! That makes me mad just thinkin' that you suspected Noah and me doin' anything out of the ordinary."
"Well, it just so happens that I DO have a date with Carolyn this weekend."
"That's fuckin' great! So you go out and get your weekend piece of ass while Noah and I share a bucket of butter corn! If you like, you and me can go out somewheres Saturday night...just the two of us."
"What will Noah have to say about that?"
"Ah, come on! Quit makin' such a big deal out of nothin'. Noah and I are goin' to watch a fuckin' movie! We ain't goin' out to park and I promise we won't hold hands or I won't put my arm around him one time as soon as the lights go out. Jesus Christ! I can't believe that you've got such queer thoughts in your head!"
"I thought that maybe since you'd fucked every cunt in three counties, you were lookin' for new holes to conquer!"
"Hal, you're beginnin' to piss me off. How long we been best friends? When have you ever known me to have queer thoughts? Come on, think about it and give me an answer!"
"None, I guess."
"You're fuckin' right...NONE and I ain't about to change my way of livin' now. So stop your envious belly-achin' and go have a good time with Carolyn!"
"I'm sorry, dude!" Hal said, softening his edge of accusation. "I don't know why I was thinkin' that way. It's only that this is the first time in our lives that you've left me out when you was goin' some place."
"You want me to invite Randy, Wade, and Tyler to come along and act as chaperones? Will that make you happy?"
"I notice that you didn't invite them either!"
"Goddamn, Hal. If you'd rather I not take Noah to the movies, I will tell him that his older brother doesn't trust us to be alone." Steve's intensity gave an honest indication of how strongly he believed what he was saying.
"Shit! Don't tell him that. That'd only put a rift between him and me and there's no sense in that since we have to live together until he goes back to school in the fall. Go with him and have a good time."
"That's all we intended, me and Noah, in the first place, was to have a good time. Now, I gotta get this oil leak fixed unless you want to help me."
"Sure, what can I do?"
"Let me slide back under the car and you start the engine so I can check to see if oil is leaking from only one place."
Steve lay on his back once again under the truck and slid under the engine of his auto while Hal got behind the steering wheel and revved up the motor.
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Friday night came and Steve drove to the Carson house to pick up Noah. Hal had already left to go see Carolyn, hoping to wind up parking somewhere for his usual weekend blowjob and fuck, which had all but become a weekend expectation from Carolyn.
The Cameo Theater, Hawthorne's one and only, was showing a triple feature hunk-o-rama, consisting of Brad Pitt's "Fight Club", Jude Law and Matt Damon's "The Talented Mr. Ripley", and Ewan McGregor and Jonny Lee Miller's "Trainspotting." Hal and Noah stopped at the concession stand for Cokes and an extra large bucket of butter corn. They slid into their seats just in time for the coming attractions and future releases' trailers. The theater had a new preview of next year's expected blockbuster, Oliver Stone's "Alexander", the biopic of Alexander the Great, starring Colin Farrell as Alexander, Jared Leto, playing his male lover, Hephaestion, Anthony Hopkins as Ptolemy, and for good measure, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as Cassander.
"We had to read about Alexander the Great in English this past year," Noah commented to Steve. "Alexander and Hephaestion were male lovers."
Steve was a bit stunned that Noah would remark about such a subject, but tried to pay little attention to what his young companion had mentioned. After all, it WAS a school assignment. Steve remembered he was supposed to read about Alexander in the eleventh grade at Hawthorne High, but never got around to it. If what Noah said was true, Steve was surprised that the Hawthorne Board of Education would allow the students to read about queers in history.
"Fight Club" was the first feature of the triathlon. Neither Steve nor Noah had ever seen the film. There was plenty of fights and action sequences...one in particular where Brad was teaching Ed Norton how to fight. Brad's shirt was quickly removed, showing a perfectly matched set of pectorals and abs. Steve was so caught up eating butter corn and watching the incredible fistfights, he was not aware of Noah's calf and knee pressing against his. It was only when the scene changed to a dialogue section that he realized that the pressure on his right leg was coming from Noah's left leg. Telling himself it was just an accident, and not wanting to create a commotion about it, Steve slowly moved his leg away from Noah's until it was free from the warm contact. Acting as a magnet, though, Noah's leg followed Steve's until once again their two legs touched, causing a tingling sensation in Steve's crotch.
Steve moved his leg close to his other leg until it could go no further. Again, Noah's leg crept closer to his brother's best friend's leg. Steve decided that Noah's move was innocent and let the two legs remain in contact. It was fifteen minutes later into the film that Steve became alarmed for the first time as Noah began to raise and lower his leg, rubbing noticeably against Steve's. The touch bothered Steve, but he was more disturbed by the raging hardon he suddenly had in his pants.
Steve leaned over to Noah's ear and whispered, "I'll be right back. I gotta take a leak."
Steve excused himself and crawled over the patrons occupying the filled Friday night row of the Cameo. Once inside the empty men's room, he walked up to the closest urinal to relieve himself, but his erection hindered his urinating. He decided to wait for his cock to return to normal before he tried again. In the meanwhile, he smoked a cigarette to relax himself. His mind was racing, 'Was Noah deliberately trying to turn him on? If so, he did one hell of a job. But, why the fuck did I GET turned on? I'm not attracted to guys! Hell, many nights when I was growing up, I slept in the same bed, naked, with Hal, Randy, Tyler, Wade...lots of guys! None of them ever gave me a hard-on. Fuck, I remember one cold night in January when Hal and me slept in a spoon position all night long, with Hal's ass crack pressed tightly against my dick. That didn't excite me! Shit, why should it? Only queers give other queers erections! I've never even seen Noah naked. He was always too shy to skinny dip with me and the rest of the guys. Maybe Noah wasn't aware of what he was doing. Maybe he just needed extra leg room in the cramped theater seats.'
By the time Steve took the final drag off his Chesterfield, his cock was back to "peeing level", so he pulled out his extra long sex organ and pissed freely, for what seemed to be two or three minutes.
He made his way back through the crowded row and once more sat beside Noah. To prevent any kind of future contact, Steve managed to cross his left foot and leg over his right, thus making it impossible for Noah to touch his leg for the rest of the movie. As the first feature finished and the credits of "Mr. Ripley" began to roll, Steve noticed that his raised leg had fallen asleep. The slight tingles in his foot had turned into enormous pain, so he decided to uncross his legs and take a chance that Noah had gotten his message, if Noah was even aware he was sending a message to him.
Both their legs remained in the proper position until a scene appeared in the movie with Matt Damon watching Jude Law take a bath. Almost instantly, Steve felt Noah's leg return to his, with much added pressure...and in the same instant, Steve's boner had reappeared. Steve was really sorry that he had asked Noah to a triple feature. Steve knew he would wrestle with himself and fidget with his swollen cock and these strange emotions for at least two more hours. He would be a nervous wreck by the final scene of 'Trainspotting,' which they were watching now.
'My God!', Steve thought, 'Ewan McGregor is completely naked on the screen for everyone to take a good gander of the size of his dick. I feel like I'm watching a male porno flick...and whether it's the movies or Noah, something is making me horny as hell!"
After nearly five hours of struggling, self-doubt, and soul-searching, the marathon finally ended. Steve, who was usually the first one out of the theater, waited for everyone else to leave before he stood up, hoping that his bulging pants would go down in the meanwhile. It did.
"Come on, hot rod," Steve said to Noah, "Let's go get a hamburger or a beer! Whaddya say?"
"Sounds good to me!"
The two of them walked down the street toward Steve's Chevy and for some unexplainable reason, Steve opened the passenger door for Noah to enter and closed it. In all the years Steve had been dating and fucking every girl he went out with, not once had he EVER opened a car door for any one of them.
'God! What am I doing?' Steve asked himself. 'Has this kid put some kind of voodoo or magic spell on me? I mean, he's only Noah Carson, my best friend's kid brother, who I used to hate being around...and now, I'm treating him as if he were nicer than any girl I ever met!'
"Where to, the Dairy Queen?" Steve asked.
"You drive and I'll buy! You bought the popcorn and cokes!" Noah replied.
"Nothin' doin'! You're my da.." Steve stopped before he said it. 'DATE? What the fuck did I almost say? Noah's not my date. He's not even my best friend!'
Noah realized that Steve had almost referred to him as his date and he became slightly amused. He had never seen Steve embarrassed by anything, anytime, anywhere, by anybody. Steve ALWAYS had the last word. He was always full of confidence and self-assurance. Noah giggled to himself for he knew now that his ploy to upset Steve with the leg jive had worked. There were many things that Steve didn't know about him; things not even his own brother, Hal, knew. No one in Hawthorne was aware of the drastic changes that had been made in Noah's life at military school.
They walked up to the order window at the Dairy Queen, each deciding on a large cheeseburger all the way, fries, and large banana milk shakes. It was a pleasant summer evening and they chose to eat outside at one of the ornate concrete tables, complete with a red and white umbrella.
"You tired?" Steve asked, as they sat down to eat.
"Some," Noah replied. "My butt's kinda sore from sitting through three movies."
"Which one did you like the best?"
"Probably, 'Mr. Ripley', although I'm a huge fan of Brad Pitt's. He'll soon be forty years old and he still looks like a teenager."
"No teenager at Hawthorne ever looked like that. If he did, Hal and I would've been rat-shit out of luck with the girls."
"I suppose you were the Brad Pitt of Hawthorne High," Noah remarked, intending to compliment Steve.
"Oh, if you mean, 'did I get the most pussy?', well, then, yeah, I did. Hal did all right, too, though."
"What about Wade, Tyler, and Randy?"
"Ah, the three of them got Hal's and my leftovers, only...can you keep a secret?"
Noah was exhilarated by Steve's sudden trust. "Sure."
"I don't think Wade ever got any pussy. I talked it over with Hal, and we think Wade's still a virgin."
"He doesn't like guys, does he?"
This question disturbed Steve, thinking he had gotten off on the wrong subject.
"Wade?...A queer? Don't kid yourself. He probably has more naked pictures of girls than any of us. I bet he beats off four times a night, just lookin' at them, so's he can go to sleep."
That was not the answer Noah hoped to hear.
"What about you, little guy? Tell me about all them Chattanooga, Tennessee women? Do you get laid regularly on the weekend? I heard that military uniforms really turn girls on...and they'll blow you through your pants before you can unzip 'em."
"Naw, nothing like that has ever happened to me. Besides, it takes money to take a girl out on the weekend. I usually stay in the dorm and study. I got a 3.9 grade average."
"Is that good?"
"Well, 4.0 is straight 'A's'."
"So you're really doin' extra good in your school work, huh?"
"Yeah."
"What about year after next when you graduate? You goin' to college?"
"I'm trying to get a scholarship to Sewanee, the University of the South in Middle Tennessee."
"And study what? What do you want to be?"
"If I tell, that's a secret YOU'LL have to keep. I'm not ready to tell my folks or even Hal, for that matter."
"Jesus Christ! You wanna be a spy like James Bond? What's so secretive that you won't tell your folks?"
"Gotta swear that you won't tell anyone?"
"I swear!"
"Not even Hal! Although that might be a little difficult, Hal and I have no secrets. We know everything there is to know about one another."
"Then, I won't tell you...not unless you promise to let ME break the news to Hal first!"
"Damn, Noah, I just swore I wouldn't tell," Steve said, impatiently.
"All right...but you can't make fun of me!"
"Jesus Christ! Don't tell me you're gonna be a fuckin' hairdresser!"
Noah laughed. "No, nothing like that."
"Well?"
"I've heard my calling. I'm going to become a priest."
"HOLY SHIT! GOD-FUCKIN'-DAMN! No wonder you don't want your folks to know...although you might not have anything to worry about because I'm sure they're both gonna drop dead from a heart attack when you tell 'em."
"Steve, I can't let them know until I'm almost ready to graduate Baylor. If they hear of my intention, they won't let me go back for my senior year in high school."
"You probably got that right!" Steve took a big gulp of his milkshake. "A PRIEST! A FUCKIN' PRIEST FROM HAWTHORNE? Who got you interested in that in the first place? Don't you like girls? Do you want some Pope tellin' you what you can or can't do for the rest of your life?"
"Not a Roman Catholic priest, Steve, an Anglican priest."
"What the fuck is that?"
"It was a church which began in England when Henry the Eighth wanted to get a divorce and the Pope refused him. So he started his own church...the Church of England, or as it's known in this country, the Anglican Church."
"Oh, that's the one where priests can get married and have children."
"If they want to, yes."
"Well, thank God for that! I couldn't see Hal Carson's baby brother tryin' to live the rest of his life without pussy."
"That's another secret I have to keep from them, Steve."
"What?"
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a woman."
"What do you mean?"
"Steve, Hal MUSTN'T know this...but I think I'm gay."
"Gay?...like in 'queer'?"
"Well, yes."
"Ah, no! You're shittin' me! Have some of those military students been tryin' to give you blowjobs? I've heard about things like that in military schools, but most guys grow out of it, after they graduate."
"I don't think I will grow out of it, Steve."
"Have you had sex with a boy or a man, yet?"
"Not yet."
"Then how do you know that you're...'that' way?"
"I've always had gay feelings, only I could never discuss them with anyone in Hawthorne. My roommate is gay, but he and I have never done anything sexually. He goes to the Christ of the Vespers Anglican Church on Signal Mountain. He invited me to go and for the first time ever, I felt what it was like to have God in my life. I took classes at the church and was confirmed last year. I'm an Anglican now."
"And you're sure that your folks don't know?"
"Positive. They never asked, so I didn't have to lie to them about it. You're the only person in Hawthorne that knows. You're the only person in the world that knows that I'm gay."
"Why me, Noah? Why tell me about it when you know I might easily slip and tell Hal...and then he'd tell your folks. I wish now that you'd never told me."
"Steve, I had to tell someone."
"But like I said, why me?"
"Because, tonight, you treated me like an adult...not like Hal's kid brother. I've always looked up to you and admired you for being the man that I'd never become."
"All right, since we're puttin' our cards on the table, can I ask you somethin' and promise me that you'll answer me, honestly, with no fudgin' or hemmin' and hawin'? I want the honest-to-God's truth!"
"Okay."
"Tonight, at the movies! Were you rubbing your leg against mine on purpose? Was that some kind of queer thing you were doin' to me?"
Noah smiled, "Did you get excited?"
"Hell, NO! I didn't get excited!"
"Is that why you had to leave and go to the men's room?"
"Now you're puttin' me on the witness stand. It was me who asked you first."
"Then I won't lie...if you don't," Noah replied. "Yes, I was rubbing against you on purpose...and you DID get excited, didn't you?"
"Well, maybe...but why did you do it? If you hadn't been Hal's baby brother, I'd've hauled off and knocked your teeth out, all the way down to the movie screen."
"Why do you think you got excited?"
"I don't know and it's been buggin' the shit outta me all night!"
"You were wondering what it would be like to have sex with a male, just as I've been wondering about it all my life."
"Well, I ain't about to be your guinea pig! You'll have to wait until you go back to school and find that out from one of your classmates."
"None of them attract me the way that you do, Steve."
"You're sayin' that I attract you sexually?"
"Many nights I've laid awake jerking off while thinking about you."
"Noah, you're fuckin' insane."
"No, I'm not. I've always had a special feeling for you, even when I was sure you were trying to get rid of me."
"Noah, I think you've told me enough secrets for one night. Finish up your shake! I'm takin' you home!"
"I've finished."
"If it's all the same to you, I'd just as soon that we not talk or say anything until we get there."
"Okay."
They walked back to the car, but this time, Noah opened the passenger door without Steve's gentlemanly assistance. True to his word, Noah didn't utter a word all the way home. Soon Steve's car pulled up in front of the Carson house. Steve kept the car's engine running, waiting for Noah to hurry up and get out.
Finally Noah exited the car and walked all the way around to the driver's window which was lowered and spoke to Steve.
"I had a very nice time, Steve."
"OKAY."
"I hope you won't reveal my secrets to anyone."
"I promised, didn't I?"
"Thank you. I only hope you're not mad at me...Are you?"
"I suppose not...I mean, nothing DID happen between us," Steve said aloud, as if to convince himself.
"No, nothing happened. It's just that since I told you everything, would it be all right if I could talk to you again before the summer's over?"
"Maybe...TALK! But none of the leg rubbin'!"
"I promise I'll never do anything like that to you again."
"Okay, we'll talk."
"Thanks!"
"You're welcome."
"Good night."
"'Nite."
The moon lit up the Carson lawn as Noah slowly walked up the sidewalk and into his house.
When Steve drove away, he almost felt guilty about trying to shun Noah, especially when he knew how hard it must have been for Noah to divulge the innermost secrets of his heart. The kid DID need someone to talk with...to straighten him out and get rid of those foolish notions in his head. There was no one else and since Noah had chosen him to be his confessor, then it was up to him, Steve, to change the ways of Noah's thinking.
Steve went home, straight to his room, undressed in the dark and lay on top of his bed. The three movies and the private chat with Noah had exhausted Steve. All he had to do was jerk off and he'd be asleep in less than five minutes. He grabbed his semi-erect organ and slowly began to pump, as he did every night, even after he'd fucked a girl for hours. Jerking off was his final ritual of his day. He didn't want to get up to turn on a light and look at his newest Club magazine. He'd use one of his many girls for a fantasy. His right foot was caught in the top sheet on his bed and he slid his left foot down his right to free it. The rubbing of his leg brought to mind a recent memory. He remembered how exciting it was, just a few hours ago, to feel Noah's leg pressed against his own. Before he was totally ready, Steve reached an orgasm and cried out, "Oh! Oh! Oh! Noah, do that some more!"
Had those words come forth out of his mouth? Had the thought of Noah caused his premature ejaculation? What the fuck was going on? Instead of falling to sleep, Steve stayed awake the rest of the night, frightened by his actions and sudden feelings for Noah.
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It was 7:00PM when Cliff rang the doorbell at Doug Champion's house. Doug opened the door and invited Cliff inside.
"I hope I'm not too early," Cliff said.
"No, Father, you're just in time," Doug replied.
"I'm terribly sorry that Roger couldn't come with me, but I'm sure that you know about the inconsistency of a doctor's free hours. Even though Roger isn't an M.D., he works in the same capacity as one often when it concerns and admission. Normally, he doesn't oversee the admission of a new patient, but this was sort of a special favor Roger was doing for Jeff... Father Jeff, you might recall, up in Mackintosh, New Hampshire."
"Of course I know Jeff. Walter Clayton, his father, has been my lawyer since my first novel was published. I watch Jeff and his brother, Alex, grow from fledglings into handsome young men."
"I told Roger that he might come by later for dessert of an after dinner drink, if that's all right."
"Of course it is! Doctor Middleton has put Briarwood on the map, so to speak."
"And not unlike Douglas Champion, one of the nation's foremost authors," Cliff replied.
"Well, I did have a bit of help from a few good book reviews."
"Being number one on the New York Times best seller list usually has nothing to do with what critics write or think. I've read quite a few stinkers that the critics raved about, but word soon spread among the people and readers who actually BUY the books and their works didn't stay at the top of the list very long. Let's see, your "And The Truth Shall Set You Free", stayed number one for thirty or forty weeks, if I recall."
"Thirty-eight weeks to be exact, but then, who's counting?"
Doug and Cliff laughed.
"What's next, Doug?"
"I...I'd started a new mystery and got about halfway through it until...well, until Charles and I began our Internet relationship. That gave me an idea for a new romantic novel which I started soon thereafter."
"Want to give me a preview?"
"Oh, it's mostly outlined with only fifteen chapters completed."
"Oh?"
"Yes, it's about two men who find out that in their twilight years that they are attracted to each other."
"A gay novel?" Cliff asked.
"Yes and no," Doug replied. "It's gay only to the extent that they are both heterosexual men in their 50's and learn that they can enjoy male/male sex...and still not feel as if they've strayed from their hetero lifestyle."
"This...uh, wouldn't be autobiographical, would it, Doug?"
"Of course it is! But none of my regular readers will ever suspect it. I've written so many lurid and graphic sex scenes between men and women, people have always thought I was writing and describing my own true experiences. If you're a fan, and I know that you are, you'll recall that I never described sex between the hero and his wife. It was always with his mistress or the unrevealed murderess. I never wrote about the wife because I knew that the public would think I was revealing what transpired in my bedroom with Louise and I didn't want anyone to think Louise would commit such lascivious acts in OUR bedroom."
"But you don't mind describing what may or may not have happened between you and Charles?"
"Not at all. Who's to suspect? And since this is the first time I've ever been involved in this kind of relationship, I really have nothing to draw from. What's happening between Charles and me is fresh and I find myself including every lustful detail."
"Is Charles aware of his being put into print?"
"Heavens, no...nor am I being deceitful to him. He's enjoying our relationship as much as I and I don't want to put a damper on our activities by his suddenly becoming consciously over-aware of them."
"Where is he, if I may ask?"
"In the kitchen, putting the finishing touch to dinner. Wait, I'll go get him."
Doug left Cliff in the living room long enough to leave and return with Charles. Cliff stood up and extended his hand for Charles to shake.
"Father, you remember Charles, my brother-in-law, don't you?"
"Of course," Cliff said, taking Charles' hand. "Charles, how are you?"
"Just fine, Father. It was awfully nice for you to accept our dinner invitation."
Cliff was about to reply when Doug interrupted him. "Charles, I'm afraid I extended the dinner invitation to Father Cliff and Roger, a week before you arrived."
"Oh?" Charles seemed confused.
"Now, don't worry. It was Father Cliff's idea that I invite you down for a visit."
"Oh?" Charles said, again.
"It was he, who convinced me to continue our Internet trysts in person."
"You...you told him about...?"
"Yes, Charles. I needed someone to discuss my feelings with...someone whom I could trust without condemnation. You see, Father Cliff and Roger are gay lovers...openly."
"A priest and the owner of Cole Insititute? I had no idea. Pardon me, if I don't know what to say." Charles stammered.
"It's all right, Charles. I was telling Doug that Roger was detained at Cole Clinic and wouldn't be able to attend dinner, although he may arrive later."
"Can I fix anyone a drink?" Doug asked.
"Yes, please," Cliff, replied. "Vodka on the rocks."
"One vodka!...and the usual, Charles?"
"What do you think?"
"One vodka and two Jack Daniels coming up!" Doug announced as he went into the den to make the drinks.
"Father," Charles began, "I...I don't know how much or what Doug has told you about him and me, nor do I know if I should feel embarrassed..."
"The things that Doug told me were confidential in my study, but let me assure you that he had nothing but nice things to say about you."
"That's a bit of relief," Charles said. "It's just that this...this 'thing' that's happened between the two of us is rather awkward. I suppose Doug told you that this is the first time that either of us have...well, you know."
"Yes, Charles, I DO know, as I also know that you're probably experiencing feelings that seem strange and foreign to both of you. But I assure you, I counseled many men as well as many women about new and different kinds of love and relationships in mid-life. At one time, it was considered a scandal for a woman to date a younger man...sometimes with decades separating their ages. Now, it's quite acceptable and commonplace. For example, think of your own grandmother, how would you have felt if she suddenly felt passion for a man...twenty-one or twenty-two years old?"
"Louise's and my mother would've probably put her in a home for senile dementia."
"And now?"
"The whole family would probably have the young man investigated to see if he was worthy of my grandmother."
Doug entered from the den carrying a tray with three drinks. "What's this about 'grandmother'? Were you talking about me?"
Cliff and Doug laughed and took their drinks from the tray.
"No," Doug chided. "If we were talking about you, we'd have referred to you as 'grandma', not 'grandmother'"
"And I suppose you'd call yourself, 'grandpa'?" Doug, quickly, quipped.
"No, you silly man," Charles joked, "I'm afraid if YOU'RE 'Grandma', then I'm 'grandma' as well. We had an agreement that there would be no exception to gender-bending in our relationship. Whatever you are, then I'm one, too."
Cliff set his drink on a coaster on the coffee table in front of him. "Has either of you taken a good look at yourselves? Are you aware of how happy you appear to be? I can't gauge Charles' looks because I only met him briefly at Louise's funeral, but Doug? You look amazingly young and happy!"
"Come on, Father Cliff! I've never known you to lie or dish out the blarney!"
"You're correct, Doug. I don't! There's even an aura about you when you look at one another. Is it reasonable to assume that you both are really as happy as you seem to be?"
Doug and Charles were a bit embarrassed by Cliff's remark, but they stopped to look at one another.
"How about it, Charles? Are you happy?" Doug asked.
"I haven't expressed it out loud to you, but, yes, I'm very happy! And you?" Charles replied.
"After Louise's death, I thought my chance for happiness would be involved with my characters in my novels, but if Cliff's being honest about how I look, well, then, yes, I DO feel younger...and yes, you make me very happy!"
"Father," Charles said, "if you weren't in the room, I'd kiss Doug."
"I'll be happy to step into the den or close my eyes. After all, Doug came to me for some kind of approval and after seeing the two of you together, I must sanction this relationship with all my moral enthusiasm."
Without a moment of hesitation or embarrassment, Charles leaned over and pressed his lips to Doug's. Cliff smiled, but didn't look away. He nursed his drink quietly. For nearly twenty years, Cliff has had the same feelings toward Roger.. "Love has no boundaries or age limitation." Cliff thought to himself, reaffirming what he had always believed.
<><><><><><><><>
Miles Clemens was the newest admission to Cole from Mackintosh. Jeff had called Roger to ensure Miles' treatment and his stay at the Institute. Roger promised Jeff that he would personally admit Miles, as a special favor to one of Cliff's adopted sons. Miles was so violently ill with AIDS when he first arrived at Mackintosh, both Jeff and Johnny thought that he wouldn't live to make the trip to Briarwood.
Roger gave instructions for one of Cole finest young doctors to give Miles a preliminary exam and who in turn ordered new bloodwork on him. Miles case was so severe that it reminded Roger of Mike when he first came to him for treatment. If the diagnosis was correct, Roger would see to it that the same stem cell chemotherapy he had used on Mike would be used on Miles.
After the exam, Miles was taken to a private room at Cole and was immediately hooked up to IV's and monitors. This was about all that could done until the CBC returned from the lab. As long as Roger was there at Cole, he decided to look in on Ian Sumner who arrived a few days earlier from New York.
"Hello, Ian," Roger said, picking you Ian's chart on the end of his bed, to read.
"Good evening, Mr. Cole," Ian replied.
"How are you feeling? Are you getting enough rest, attention, and good food?"
"Jesus! I had no idea of what it would be like when Tim and Rob told me that they were sending me to the Cole Institute. But this is like winning a luxurious trip on 'The Price Is Right'. The room with a view, the tremendous staff, and the food is better than anything I've ever eaten in the posh restaurants in New York!"
"That's good to hear! I hope you're maintaining your diet that was prescribed for you and that you're staying away from things that would cause you pain in your liver."
"No problems, so far. All the food's been great. But I would like to ask one question..."
"And that is?"
"Does Cole own a broccoli farm? I've had it every meal and it's cooked a different way every time it arrives on my tray."
"Ian, there's a long story behind the broccoli. Broccoli, brussel sprouts, leafy green vegetables have a healing effect on HIV and AIDS. Many doctors have written about it in their medical journals and no two have ever come up with the same explanation. All we know is that it has a miraculous effect on the diseases we treat at Cole."
"And it does the same for my hep C?"
"Yes, it does."
"Have you ALWAYS served it?"
"Yes, ever since the Cole Institute was built. However, broccoli became a permanent staple due to one of my adopted sons, so to speak."
"You have more than one?"
"They're not legally adopted. My partner and I have many young men that we refer to as our adopted sons."
"Tim and Rob? Are they among them?"
"Yes."
"The Briarwood boys, huh?"
"Yes, the Briarwood boys."
"How many are there?"
"Quite a few...and the number keeps growing. They're all different, but each similar in their desires to help young men like themselves."
"That's why I'm here, isn't it?"
"No, you're here to let us manage your illness and get you well enough to return to "Brigadoon". If you don't mind my saying it, you were brilliant when I saw you."
"You saw the show?"
"Neither hell nor high water could've kept me from seeing Rob and Timmy on Broadway. It just so happens that you were appearing in the role of 'Harry Beaton' the night I saw it and I've never seen such graceful moves from any dancer."
"I'm so pleased. Thank you, Mr. Cole."
"Those Irish, 'Riverdance' steps...they must've been difficult to learn."
"It took weeks of rehearsal. Believe me, none of us learned clogging overnight." His demeanor became serious. "Mr. Cole, seriously, do you think I might get well enough to return to the show?"
"As sure as I am about buying advanced orchestra seats for the performance in which you return."
"Do you pump up all the patients with confidence?"
"Only the sick ones that I sure that will get well."
"And how many is that?"
"I expect ALL the patients here to get well. Science has provided us with the tools to prolong life. It's up to us to use the tools and give the patient a reason to want to live. Wanting to get well is half the treatment. I presume that you do want to go back and dance again on Broadway?"
"More than life. Dancing IS my life, Mr. Cole."
"Then it's my prognosis that it shouldn't be too long before you're dancing jigs up and down the halls at Cole."
"I'll dedicate my first solo to you."
"And it'll be most appreciated. I wanted to be a dancer when I was growing up, before I became whatever it is I've become."
"Really?"
"I remember Donna McKechnie dancing "Tick Tock" in Stephen Sondheim's 'Company'. I'd never seen anyone move the way she could. When I was in seminary in New York, I went to see her in Michael Bennett's, 'A Chorus Line', twenty-eight times."
"Jesus! Seminary? You were a minister, too?"
"I WAS a priest came to be with Cliff in Briarwood. When I saw our first patient cured from AIDS, I knew I had made a wise investment building this Institute."
"Donna was once married to Michael Bennett, who later died from AIDS."
"I know, and how often I wished that the same treatment that's used on AIDS victims today, had been available to him back in the early 70's. Michael Bennett had a dozen Broadway shows in his head that he took to the grave with him. The plague has taken away many great talents from the world, and all of them too soon."
"I've always practiced safe sex. That's why it was such a blow to me to learn I had contracted hep C."
"Hep C is a mean little disease. It attacks with very little warning. There are probably more undiagnosed cases of Hep C than HIV. Most cases go undetected during a regular physical examination. Millions of Americans are walking around, unknowingly infected with it, every day. It doesn't occur to any of them that using someone else's toothbrush or drinking from the same glass can be just as dangerous as swapping bodily fluids. You may never know how you contracted it. That could remain a mystery the rest of your life. But since you know that you are a carrier, you can be extra careful not to contaminate anyone else."
"I swear to God, I'll be careful."
"I know you will," Roger assured. "Now is there anything I can get for you?...New CD's? New DVD's? Books?"
"No, Mr. Cole, I have everything I need."
"I'm going ask your doctors if you can get some physical activity. I don't want your muscles to atrophy while you're lying around in bed."
"Maybe I could choreograph, as some kind of therapy for the patients."
"I'm sure that you can."
"Thanks, Mr. Cole.!"
"You're quite welcome, Ian."
Roger closed Ian's chart and replaced it on the foot of the bed and started out the door.
"Mr. Cole, I'm curious to you visit all your patients or did I just receive a special privilege?"
"I visit most all of them, but I have a special interest in you. Let's say I want you to get well to protect another of my investments?"
"Pardon?"
"'Brigadoon'!" Roger replied, "Didn't Rob and Timmy tell you that you were actually working for me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm so certain about Rob and Timmy's talents, I always put money into any show they do."
"Damn! No wonder you want me to get well!"
"That's not the only reason, Ian, and you know it! You're young, talented, gifted, and have so much more life to live and I just want to make sure everything that can be done IS done to see that you get to do many more shows in the future! Remember, I've already told you that you made a fan out of me."
"Mr. Cole?"
"Why don't you call me 'Uncle' Roger like Rob and Timmy?"
"I'd love to...but I would like to ask a personal question."
Roger turned to face Ian. "What is it?"
"Does one have to live here to become a Briarwood Boy?"
"Not necessarily."
"Then what does it take?"
"I'm not sure, Ian, but I'm sure it has something to do with broccoli."
They smiled at one another and Roger left Ian's room.
<><><><><><><><>
Jake's father, William Malone, was in his third day of fasting. He had neither eaten nor drunk anything, nor had he left his chair by the side of the window to go to his bed to sleep. Jake offered to prepare a meal for his dad, but William ignored his son as an outcast from a tribe of Israel.
Jake was limited on the dishes he could make, however he mixed up enough of his chili concoction to last for three nights. The fourth night, Jake's supper consisted of bologna and cheese sandwiches. Jake kept up with his schoolwork and afternoon athletic practices. None of his schoolmates asked him about his dad because the whole town of Fort Stockton knew of Lee's disappearance and the rift that it had caused in the Malone household.
Jake was lonely for his brother. He was lonely to have someone to talk with. He even thought about doing something to make his dad angrier with him, just to have someone to communicate with. At least when his dad was screaming at him or thrashing him, he was getting attention from William. He longed for the phone to ring with word from Lee. Lee had promised to call when he was settled, but the phone hadn't rung once.
Jake felt the comfort of knowing he had bought Lee's bus ticket to Dallas and was certain that Lee had arrived safely, but just one call would relieve his mind and make living with his silent dad more tolerable.
Johnny drove the RV back to Dallas while Mike sat in the back with Lee, tending to the wound on Lee's back, put there by the bully, Skip. Lee was depressed and saddened about Buddy's death. He wondered how much the three desperadoes or fag haters had tortured Buddy before killing him. He also wondered how much he would've suffered had it not been for Tom and Mike rescuing him. He remembered discussing another kid's similar death in Civics class at school. The kid's name had been Matthew Shepard. He was gay and he had been tortured and tied to a fence and left to die by a bunch of fag haters like Skip, Eddie, and Jerry.
Why did "straight" guys hate gays so much? It reminded him also of the way the Ku Klux Klan used to target Negroes in the south, stringing up their bodies in trees to let them rot in the sun. Why were some guys frightened by others who were "different" from the norm, frightened enough to kill them? Once the reality of his situation hit him clearly, Lee was afraid of how close he had come to being executed. Although Lee might have had suppressed gay feelings, he had never performed a gay act. Yet that didn't seem to matter to guys such as Skip.
Thinking back to when he was first tied up, a couple of hours ago, Lee had almost gotten excited by the idea that he might experience his first sexual transgression. He had imagined how Skip's cock would feel up inside him. If there had been no chance of his being harmed physically, he almost looked forward to being fucked. His feelings of sexual pleasure made him embarrassed that he had even had such thoughts.
Now he was safe, sitting in the back of a luxurious Winnebago and his life had been spared by a couple of handsome jocks who showed no regret about their being gay. He saw and felt the love between Tom and Mike and wondered if there would ever be a time in his life when he would know such a relationship. Then into his mind came the dark cloud of remembering that he was diseased, according to Dr. Gonzalez. Lee knew that he would never have a boyfriend or have firsthand knowledge of gay sex. He would never have a partner or a lover. He was fated to die from the gay plague without any reason for having it. He suddenly wished that if he had known that his only time to feel or know the joy of anal or oral intercourse was that one afternoon with Buddy, he should have at least reciprocated Buddy's action by going down on him, as well.
Lee began to cry...not from the pain in his back but for what he would miss out on, the rest of his life. His eyes glanced back and forth from the muscular and younger Mike to the muscular and older Tom. Lee kept wondering who did what to whom. Did Tom and Mike perform oral sex on one another? Did they both enter each other's rear to make love? God, they seemed so open about their loving relationship! Both of them! Why couldn't his young life been the same as theirs?
Mike put fresh bandages on Lee's wounds. His hands were so sturdy and steadfast, yet gentle.
"How long have you known you were sick?" Mike asked Lee.
"I..I, only found out yesterday afternoon when I went to see the doctor."
"Damn! You had quite a day! Hearing bad news and then being attacked in a matter of a few short hours...must have put you through the wringer."
"I'll never be able to thank you and Tom for what you did for me back there," Lee said.
"Thank God we came along the highway when we did."
"You think it was God who sent you to save me?"
"I have no doubt," Mike said. "I came from a small town in Alabama and it was only a few months ago that God revealed my purpose to me."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. See, I was supposed to die and God let me live for some reason...and when I got well, I knew that He had put me here to help guys like you and me. That's what I plan to do the rest of my life."
"Well, I guess by your saving me, you earned another star in your crown."
"Where did you learn that phrase, Lee?"
"My dad. He's a preacher!"
"No kidding?"
"Did you tell him about your being sick?"
"Heavens no! My dad would have killed me before those three guys had the chance."
"You can't be serious!"
"Oh, yes, I am! You don't know my dad."
"What kind of preacher would kill his own son?"
"A southern evangelical preacher, that's who."
"Jesus! Do you have any brothers and sisters?"
"One...a younger brother...Jake."
"What about your mom?"
"She's dead, or at least I think she's dead. Dad ran her off a long time ago. He claimed she was a harlot and was putting devilish ideas into Jake's and my head."
"Wow!"
"He raised Jake and me very strict. I've always been afraid of him."
"And your brother, Jake?"
"Huh! Jake ain't afraid of nothin'...not my dad, not even the devil himself."
"I suppose I should say, 'good for Jake'!" Mike said.
"I always wished I had one ounce of his courage, but I don't."
"And you were going to Dallas to get treatment from the AIDS center there?"
"I was going to see how much they could help me with the little money I had in my pocket. Jake gave most of it to me from the money he earns mowing yards in Fort Stockton."
"Sounds to me as if you have a brother who loves you very much."
"He does...and I love him, only I didn't tell him or let him know until a few minutes before I ran away from home."
"You ran away from your dad?"
"I had to...or suffer his consequences. If Dad had known what's wrong with me, he'd've said, 'Good! Serves you right for doing queer things. That's God's way of punishing faggots!'."
"Your friend, Buddy? That's his name? You think that's who gave you HIV?"
"I'm positive, only we really didn't have sex."
"Oh?"
Lee spent the next minutes describing what happened between Buddy and himself and how innocent the whole ordeal was. Mike listened intently, as Mike told his story. Mike felt an urge to put his arms around Lee and let him know that there are people in the world who could care about him. Mike knew that Tom wouldn't object if he put his arms around Lee. Mike and Tom's relationship was sound and trustworthy. There would be many others who Tom and Mike would embrace before their journey was over. Mike knew the power of a hug and what it means to someone who needs to be hugged, as he once had...before Tom.
"Lee, I was serious when I told you I don't want you to worry about the cost of your treatment and medicine. That'll be taken care of."
"By who? Who'd want to help me? I don't know anyone in Dallas."
"Did you ever listen to any of your dad's sermons?"
"How could I do anything BUT listen to them?"
"Remember in the New Testament about the parable of the good Samaritan?"
"Yes."
"Let's just say God sent a couple of Samaritans to give you a hand."
"You mean you and Tom? You're gonna pay for my stay at the hospital?"
"Now don't go jumping to conclusions! I didn't mean for you to think that Tom and I were Samaritans. Let's say Tom and I were instrumental in hooking you up with a Good Samaritan and let it go at that."
"But who, then?"
"To quote the New Testament again...'the Lord will provide a way'."
"You think there's a chance I might get better?"
"I'd almost swear to it! If you don't believe me, go up front and ask Tom. He'll say the same things to you that I did."
"There IS something I'm worried about, more than my getting well."
"What's that?"
"I'm worried about Jake. I don't know how angry my dad is and I don't know what kind of punishment he'll render on my brother. Jake swore that he wouldn't tell Dad where I went and I know for sure that Jake will keep his promise."
"Look, Lee, before Tom and I found you in the desert, we were heading for San Antonio to see the Alamo and then go up through Fort Stockton on our way to the Grand Canyon. If you like, Tom and I can stop by your house and check on Jake and see if he's well and safe. Would you like that?"
"More than anything in the world."
"We'll get you settled in at the Dallas AIDS center and give you our cell phone number to keep in contact with us about your treatment and progress. If, after a week or two, you find out that your condition hasn't changed, we'll go for Plan B."
"What's Plan B?"
"'B' as in Briarwood; 'C' as in the Cole Institute; and 'D', don't worry! Let Tom and me do your worrying for you."
"But why are you doing all this for me?"
"That's in another verse of scripture. 'There but for you, go I'. I'll explain that to you some day."
"Then, YES! Please stop by and see Jake and tell him where I am and tell him I love him!"
"Maybe Tom and I can think of a way for Jake to come visit you. How's that?"
"I think you and Tom are the most wonderful people I've ever known."
"Oh, you're going to meet lots of wonderful people...more wonderful than Tom and I. There are many who'll help you as much or more than we can."
"I don't believe that!"
"Just wait and see," Mike said, hugging Lee and kissing his cheek. "Now why don't you try to sleep the rest of the way to Dallas while I go up front and see if my 'Lancelot' injured himself in the war with the three dragons."
Mike's embrace and kiss had astonished Lee. Was Mike correct? Would he meet others like Mike and Tom? Were there more in the world like them? He prayed that Mike was right.
Lee lay on one of the soft mattresses to rest while Mike went forward to check on Tom.
"How are you, sweetheart?" Mike asked Tom as he kissed the side of Tom's neck.
"Tired, sore, but grateful, baby," Tom replied. "Grateful that we were able to save Lee. How is he?"
"Resting...with a bit more hope than he had before he met us."
"Your desire to assist and heal never stops, does it?"
"No, not when I have been given so much. I have to return it in kind."
"I couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation with Lee just now."
"Oh?"
"I think we're gonna make a stop in Fort Stockton, if I'm not mistaken."
"You're not wrong.. We are."
"Good! The things Lee said about his dad...I can't wait to meet the son-of-a-bitch!"
"Those are my thoughts, exactly."
"Do you think the Dallas Center can help him?"
"Pretty sure, but if not, we both know who can."
"Another Briarwood boy in the making?"
"What do you think?"
"I think I love you more every minute. That's what I think!"
"I think I'll remember the Alamo even before we get there!"
"Well, don't go 'yahooing' and wake Lee up!"
"Then you'd better find something to stop up my mouth with before I let out a yell!"
"How about a cactus? Too prickly?"
"Did you say something about a prick?"
"No, but I will, if that'll keep you quiet."
"Then, say it!"
"Say what?"
"Prick!"
"Prick?"
"Yes, PRICK!"
"All right then...PRICK!"
"Whose prick?"
"MY PRICK, you little prick!"
"YOUR PRICK?"
"YES!"
"I think your prick will keep me quiet. Now unzip your pants and keep driving!"
"Anything you say, lover! Anything you say!"
Tom's driving became wobbly and erratic as he tried to steer with Mike's head buried in his lap.
<><><><><><><><>
(To be continued in "Briarwood"--BOOK SEVEN--chapter--seventy-three.)