All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2003
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
<><><><><>
BOOK SIX
"BRIARWOOD U"
Chapter-Sixty-four
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The next morning, following all the excitement of Harm's arrest and Wiley's rescue, Nina had regained consciousness and had enough strength to sit up in bed and eat breakfast. Jim was relieved and thrilled by the progress of her recovery. He had sat all night beside her bed, catching catnaps and occasionally going to her side to check on her. He felt more at peace now, knowing that Harm was no longer a risk or a danger in anyone's life, although he had said a couple of silent prayers in thanks for Wiley's being OK and that no harm had been done to Tom. Jim missed Tom and wanted so much to be with him, to hold him for reassurance and in reaffirmation of his love for Tom...but, at the same time, he felt his place was to be with Nina to demonstrate his love for her, his wife. In spite of Cliff's words of encouragement, Jim found it difficult to love two people equally, even though those loves were entirely different in substance.
The trio of Tom, Nina, and Jim teetered on a delicate balance. Each of them stood in the way of the other two, the major difference being that Nina and Tom's relationship was like a mother/son as opposed to the in-depth feeling that Jim had for Tom. God! What a mess! What would be the outcome? How would it end and who would get hurt the most? Jim realized that, since he was the fulcrum of the pyramid, it was up to him to make the decision to break the tie, riding off into the sunset with one of his loves, while leaving the other behind, feeling dejected, rejected, or both. What a fucking dilemma to be in!!!
Jim fed Nina her breakfast to the last spoonful. He wasn't ready for a verbal confrontation. Every time Nina tried to talk, Jim hurriedly placed the next bite of food to her mouth. Nina smiled as she knew Jim well enough over the past decade to know he was nervous and troubled. She swallowed the last spoonful of poached egg and smiled again as Jim wiped her mouth. Jim quickly placed the straw in the carton of milk for a final wash down of food. Nina was ready to talk but Jim picked up the tray of empty dishes and tried to escape.
"Jim," Nina finally said, "please put down that tray. An aide will be by to pick it up. You don't have to do everything."
"I'm sorry, honey, I guess I'm just nervous and overly excited by your recovery," Jim answered.
"Why don't you sit down and the two of us can fit together the pieces of last night that caused me to wind up in the hospital?" Nina said, calmly.
"All right, where should we begin?", Jim said with barely concealed reluctance.
"Why don't you start, Jim?"
"Well, I guess the foremost question on everyone's mind is where were you going when you had your accident?"
Nina slowly explained about Harm's visit and his threats toward her and that she started down to the pizza parlor to warn him and Tom. In her rush, she had suffered a panic attack which must've brought on the mini-stroke or transient ischemic attack. In his mind, Jim was confident that Harm had been involved somehow with Nina's state of mind or at least was partially responsible for her auto accident.
Nina was extremely relieved to learn of Harm's arrest and that Tom had managed to handle the situation without any injuries. She was very concerned about Wiley when Jim told her the rest of the story. When Jim had finished his recap of the night's events. Nina gave a long sigh.
"Well, Jim, my love, where does that leave us?" Nina asked, looking directly into Jim's eyes.
"Nina, do you think this is the right time to approach this subject?"
"We have to, eventually, don't we?"
"I suppose, but couldn't we delay this until you're feeling one hundred percent?"
"Jim, the ball's in your court. I did some thinking before Harm came by and I realized that the triangular situation that you, Tom, and I are in, must come to conclusion. There's no sense in all three of us being miserable and causing trauma to the other two."
"Nina, you're asking me to make a decision right this minute, but I can't! There's Tom to think about and I don't think I can rationally decide anything unless the three of us are all present."
"You're probably right, as usual. I'm sorry, Jim, for putting pressure on you, but too much bad has happened and I want one, two, or just maybe all three of us to be happy."
In spite of Nina's being in a coma for a couple of days, her mind was certainly working fine now. She put everything into perspective almost immediately, putting Jim defensively on the spot.
"Honey, can I ask this of you? Could you let this topic rest for two weeks, or at least until you're ready to come home? I mean, it's as if you were asking me to decide the future of three lives, now, all at once, and I don't want to!"
"All right, we'll wait two weeks, but no more than that. I mean, if you choose Tom over me, I at least want time to decide where I want to live and whether or not to return to my position at BU. You're right, Jim, many decisions have to be made."
"Thank you, Nina. It's just that...no matter what happens, I DO love you...and always will."
"I love you, too, Jim--you're the only man who's ever been in my life."
Jim kissed her and her response was such that Jim involuntarily tried to pry her lips apart with his tongue. She pulled back.
"Uh uh...egg breath," Nina said. "I don't like it and I know you don't either."
Jim smiled and said, "Always the same, my Nina, Caranina. Just remember, when you gargle with Listerine, you owe me a sloppy kiss!"
"I always pay my debts, big boy!"
"I know you do, and that's another reason why I've always loved you."
"Now, why don't you go home and shave, shower, put on fresh clothes and go see about your team. Don't you have a big game Friday night?"
"Yes, but I don't know how much of a game we'll be able to play, what with Wiley and Harm out of the line---and Tom...I don't know what frame of mind he'll be in, considering all that he's gone through this week."
"Then it's up to you to be his coach and straighten out his mind about a lot of things."
Jim knew that Nina's last remark wasn't only about football. He DID need to talk with Tom. Maybe after all the horror that Tom had been through, he might not feel the same way about their relationship. But there was only one way to find out. He kissed Nina on the side of her mouth, said goodbye, and left Cole Hospital for home.
<><><><><><><><>
Mike's flight to Briarwood was scheduled to land at 9:30PM. Roger insisted on accompanying Cliff to the airport to get a first glimpse of their new 'son'. Cliff and Roger were as excited as two kids waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. Not many tourists traveled from Montpelier to Briarwood, so there would be no trouble in spotting the sixteen year old youngster. The third person disembarking from the plane had to be Mike. In spite of being thin and gaunt looking, Mike was a handsome young man. He looked like a teenage Anthony Perkins, but not as tall, with his brown hair ruffled across one side of his forehead...and those eyes...dark brown, wide, innocent, yet at the same time, piercing. Cliff hurried to meet him as he entered the air terminal.
"Mike?" Cliff called.
"Huh?" Mike replied, perhaps not expecting to be recognized so quickly.
"I'm Cliff."
"Father Cliff?"
"Yes, but you can call me Cliff if you prefer."
"I'd like that. I called Father Jeff, 'Father', against my way of thinkin'. Momma always taught me that there were only two kinds of fathers... your real father and God. She told me all about the Catholics and the way they called their preachers, 'Father', and I guess what she said kinda stuck with me."
Roger had joined Cliff to meet the boy.
"Mike, this is Roger."
Mike put out his hand for Roger to shake, "Pleased to meet you, sir!"
"Did you check your luggage?" Cliff asked.
"Johnny did it for me."
"Give me your check stub and I'll go get it for you," Roger said.
The boy rummaged through his pants pockets until he found the orange ticket and handed it to Roger.
"Thank you, sir." Mike said to him.
Mike's calling him 'sir' deflated Roger for a second. He could never get used to being called sir when Roger, himself, called his elders, 'sir'. But then, 'sir' was certainly less offensive than some other names Roger could think of. Roger took the ticket and hurried off toward the baggage carousel, leaving Cliff and Mike with a little breathing room.
"Are you hungry?" Cliff asked Mike.
"Yes and no. I didn't have a real meal on the plane but I did have six bags of peanuts and three Coca-Colas. I'm dying to pee. I started to go on the plane when that sign flashed on to fasten your seatbelts, so I thought I would just hold it until I landed."
"It's right over there," Cliff said, pointing to an opening on the other side of the small rotunda. "I'll wait for you here."
"OK," Mike shouted back while running to the men's room.
Roger returned with Mike's large suitcase before Mike returned from the restroom.
"He had to pee," Cliff said simply in response to Roger's questioning glance.
"Looks like we're going to have our hands full if Mike chooses to live with us while he's getting treatment."
"Yes, it looks that way,...'SIR'," Cliff said, chuckling.
"Can it, will you? I can't stand being called 'sir' by two people in a fifteen minute period."
"Well, at least he didn't call you 'MISTER' Cole."
"Although respectful, that would have been a fatal blow to my ego. Thank heaven it was your idea for him to call you 'Cliff'."
"I didn't want to seem so formal to him. He's bound to be scared to death and I just wanted him to..."
Roger finished Cliff's sentence, "to love you like all the other Briarwood boys."
"That will come in time, but for now we'll just have to settle for being 'friendly strangers' to him. You know that he didn't mean to insult you by the 's-word'. It's just the way southerners are brought up. Everyone says 'sir' and 'ma'am' down south, especially in Alabama."
"What town is he from?"
"Dothan...'Mr. Michael Hanley from Dothan, Alabama'. So what do you think of him on first impression?"
"He looks pale. He might be sicker than I thought. I would like to Ed to check him into Cole Sunday night and start running tests on him early Monday."
"Good. Then we can take him to the game tomorrow night and afterward, we can find out if there's something special he'd like to do Saturday...and then Sunday, he can meet the guys from the team that I've invited for lunch...THEN, YOU can have him Sunday night."
"Sounds like a winner, babe, I just hope he's up to the weekend that you've planned for him."
"If he's tired and doesn't want to do anything special Saturday night, we can plan a quiet evening at home...play a movie or something while I go over my Sunday sermon in the study."
Mike returned from the men's room and soon the three of them were headed to the massive Cole estate. Needless to say, Mike was impressed by Roger's Jaguar, as he had never seen one or ever recalled any comparable car in Dothan.
"Boy, this is one snazzy car!" Mike exclaimed.
"Do you drive, Mike?" Roger asked.
"No, sir. I never had the chance to learn. If me and Momma ever went any place we took the bus. Old Mrs. Canfield, back home, used to come by on Sundays and Wednesday nights to take us to church."
"Would you like to learn to drive?" Roger asked.
"Gosh, yes!", his face lighting up.
"Cliff and I will see what we can do to teach you if you like. There might be an occasion arise where I'm busy with my work and Cliff at his church, and it might be a good idea if you could drive yourself to places...you know, to the hospital for treatments, or who knows? You might find a girl or a friend you would like to take to the movies or to Burger King. How does that sound?"
"Sounds great to me! Do you own more than one car?"
"At last count, I think we own six. Isn't that right, Cliff?"
"Good gosh! Who drives 'em all?", Mike blurted out.
"Just Cliff and myself. Of course we have two of our 'boys', Troy and Jay, who live with us also and they drive."
"Boys? How old are they?"
"They're in our early twenties."
"Oh, when you said 'boys', I thought they might be my age." The slight dejection sounded clearly in his voice.
"I think, when you meet them, you'll find that both of them are closer to your age in spirit," Cliff added.
Glancing at both men, then deciding to risk asking, "Can I ask you a question?" Mike said.
"Sure," Cliff and Roger said, simultaneously.
"Troy and Jay...are they gay too?"
Cliff and Roger eyed one another before answering.
"Does it make a difference whether they are or not?" Cliff asked.
"Heck, I've been livin' in a whole town of gay people with Johnny and Jeff. Has the whole world outside Dothan turned gay?"
"No, son," Roger replied, "the heterosexuals outnumber the gays five to one."
"Momma only had two sons, me and my brother, Vince, and he was gay, so in my case, I had better odds of being straight since I didn't have four brothers."
"Sounds like you're pretty good at math, Mike," Roger said.
"It was all right. I was learning Algebra when I quit school."
"Speaking of school. Mike," Cliff interrupted, "do you want to go back and finish high school?"
"I don't know. I guess I oughta, what with Momma and Papa gone--and now, Vince. I ain't got no one to support me except myself...and like they say on TV, you can't git no good job without a high school diploma."
"Have you made up your mind what you want to be?"
"Sure, lots of things!"
"Like what, for instance?"
"Well, do you know Ted, Jeff's brother's boyfriend?"
"We both know Ted and Alex, extremely well," Cliff said.
"Well, I've been going down to his house in Mackintosh and helping him build up his muscles and giving him backrubs and stuff and I've been thinkin' a lot about becoming a physical therapist! I think that's what they're called, according to Ted."
"That's a great occupation, Mike!" Cliff said.
"If you study and get your PT license, I can guarantee you a high paying job," Roger added.
"That means I'd have to go to college before I can get a license?"
"If you decide to stay here, you could go to BU...Briarwood University."
Mike's excitement suddenly became pensive.
"Yeah, if I live that long," Mike said, dejected.
"Why did you say that?" Cliff asked.
"I got AIDS! I might not live long enough to even finish high school."
"Mike, you DON'T have AIDS. You have the HIV virus, which is quite a different thing. That's why you're here, to receive treatment and conquer the illness," Roger said, rather sternly. "So go ahead and plan your future---you have a whole lifetime to live."
"I wish I could believe you," Mike said as tears began to well in his eyes.
"Well, believe me! I have an army of doctors who work for me and I'll personally see to it that they won't let you die, so just get those negative thoughts out of your mind," Roger said.
"Well, what about high school? Johnny told me that I'd have to get treatment for several months. Will I have to 'sit out' this year?"
"No, Mike," Cliff replied. "We'll find you a tutor and you can study under the home-bound system."
"Would my grades count, if I studied at home?"
"Of course they would. Millions of guys and girls who aren't sick study at home and they earn a high school diploma."
"Well, Roger and I both have doctor degrees. But if you'd like someone closer to your age, I might get one or two of the college students to come by the house and tutor you. How does that sound?" Cliff asked.
"I don't know. Let me think about it?"
"I'll tell you what," Cliff continued. "The three of us, you, Roger, and I are going to the BU football game tomorrow night and several of the football players are coming to the house for lunch Sunday. Let's see if one of them would like to tutor you. After all, their last game will be on Thanksgiving and they'll be free from football practice from then on. I have an idea! Let's keep the tutor business a secret and Sunday why don't you talk to the guys and see if there's one to your liking...and if so, than I'll approach him about teaching you. OK?"
"OK...I guess."
Roger's Jaguar pulled up to the large wrought iron gate which led to the manse. He clicked a button on his dash and the huge gates swung open.
"Good Lord, did you open those gates by pushing that button?"
"Yes, Mike."
"What is this place? Is this the hospital?"
Cliff and Roger laughed, "No, Mike, it's home."
"You keep yourselves locked up inside here?" Mike asked.
"No, Mike," Ed said, "we keep the world locked out."
The closer the car neared the mansion, the wider Mike's eyes became. Mike had never seen a house this big, except in the 'Richie Rich' movie with McCauley Culkin.
"YOU LIVE HERE?" Mike exclaimed.
"Yes, and so do you, for now." Cliff replied.
"GOSH ALMIGHTY! It's as big as a mansion."
Roger laughed, "Yes, Mike, I suppose it is."
Roger pulled his car to the front steps and Cliff and Mike got out to face the cold of the November night.
"Brrr, I'm freezing," Mike said.
"It's nice and warm inside. Come on--Roger'll bring your luggage after he parks the car."
Cliff and Mike entered the house through the foyer and Mike's jaw dropped in awe of what his eyes were beholding...marbled floors, humongous crystal chandeliers hanging from twenty-foot ceilings, a winding staircase that just kept going upward forever (probably through the clouds, Mike thought), a grand piano, several large plush sofas and chairs, facing an enormous fireplace, wider than the movie screen back in Dothan.
"Wow!" Mike exclaimed, and then whistled. "I mean...do you live in all of it or just part, you know, like rooms in a hotel!"
"I'm afraid we live in every square inch."
"Do you have a maid? I mean, it would take a long time to sweep and mop all these floors. Is that gonna be one of my chores?"
"No, Mike, you're only chore here is to try to make this your home for now and be as happy as you can be. Do you like it?" Cliff asked. "You don't have to answer just yet, but would you like to live here?"
"That's a dumb question! Who WOULDN'T?"
"Well, if you decide, Mike, you can stay here as long as you like."
"This place reminds me of what Pastor Barnes said heaven would look like!" Mike added. "Momma used to talk about heaven on earth, but I don't think she had this in mind. I've never seen anything like it!"
"Would you like to see your room?"
"MY room?"
"Yes, it's upstairs, just down the hall from where Ed and I sleep."
"What about Troy and Jay? Where do they sleep?"
"Upstairs on the back of the house. Their bedroom overlooks the swimming pool."
"You have a pool, too?" Both his face and his voice registered almost complete disbelief.
"No, WE have a pool...Ed, Jay, Troy, me, and now you! It's OUR pool."
"Can I see it?"
"Sure, but wouldn't you rather see your room first?"
"Yeah, I guess. There's just SO MUCH to see all at one time."
"Come on upstairs with me," Cliff said, putting his arm around Mike's shoulder.
When Mike felt Cliff's touch, he asked, "Do you have HIV, too?"
"No, Mike, I don't."
"And you're not afraid of catching if from me?"
"Not the least bit. Now let's go see your room."
Mike exhaled a sigh of relief, almost stumbling as he looked at this man who was changing his life, and he began the trek up the winding staircase. Cliff took him down to the third door on the right side of the long hallway and eased the door open. Mike's bedroom was practically as large as Mike's whole house in Dothan. There was a fireplace, a king size bed, a wall unit housing a 54 inch TV, a mahogany desk, complete with a computer, printer, and scanner, a red velvet sofa facing the fireplace and scattered easy chairs filling empty corners of the room. Mike's bathroom had a closed-in shower and tub on one side and a large whirlpool Jacuzzi on the other. The more Mike looked, the more astonished he became.
"Now, here's your linen closet, complete with towels, soap, shampoo, body wash, deodorants, razors, shaving cream, face balm, talc, assorted shaving lotions and colognes...pick out the ones you like best and I'll make sure that Jay keeps you supplied."
"Am I dreamin' or what?" Mike asked. "If I'm dreamin', I hope I never wake up."
"Mike, you'll soon get used to all this and, in a day or two, it'll feel like home," Cliff said, smiling.
"Home? Home was never like this!"
"Well then, your NEW home. Mike, I must admit that Roger and I are about twenty years older than you and maybe the two of us are out of sync with what sixteen year old guys like, so if there's anything you need or want, just let us know."
"OK, I guess. I feel like I'm a problem for you."
"You'll never be a problem, Mike. So you'll let us know if you need anything? Promise?"
"OK, Cliff--I promise."
"Now, tomorrow morning, you're going to meet Jay and Troy at breakfast. Jay has a penchant for male fashions and he wants to take you shopping and buy whatever you'd like for your wardrobe."
"Johnny and Jeff already bought me a lot of stuff."
"Well, the closet over there is rather large and Jay wants to fill it up with things for you."
"Do you and Roger make enough money to afford all this?"
"Very frankly, no, but we have more than enough for anything you need."
"Then where did it all come from---if you don't mind my asking."
"Some day, real soon, we'll sit down and discuss a lot of things...but not right now, Mike. Right now, make yourself at home."
"I'll try."
"Do you have any questions?"
"Uh...maybe a couple. That big TV over there...does it get the cable channels like Jeff and Johnny's?"
"At last count...Roger could tell you more accurately, but I think there's over five-hundred cable channels to choose from."
"I'll never get to sleep, trying to choose the one I like."
"I'm sure Roger will take you shopping to let you pick out the DVD's and the Play station games you like."
"Can I ask you one more question?"
"Sure, Mike. You can ask as many as you like."
"Why...why are you and Roger doing all this for me?" Mike asked, almost suspiciously. "I...I don't have to do anything to pay for all this, do I?"
Cliff could see where Mike's inquisition was coming from. Mike was a scared teenager who had just been given the dreams of a lifetime by two men, whom he suspected as being gay, and was apprehensive of what might be expected from him.
"Mike, Roger and I have taken in almost a dozen young men like yourself and we've done just as much for them without ever asking anything in return from any of them. Roger and I want you to feel safe and comfortable while the doctors at the hospital make you well. You're free to come and go as you please, provided we know where you are. You heard Roger on the way here, he wants you to learn to drive so you'll be more independent. There's nothing expected of you whatsoever... just that you do as your doctors tell you...take your medication and treatments and feel free to ask Roger and me of anything you want. When you come downstairs, I'll show you the kitchen and Roger's soda fountain in the den. This is your home and you can have anything that the doctors say it's OK for you to eat or drink. There are many things you haven't seen yet. Have you ever used a Jacuzzi?"
"Gosh, no! I don't even know what that is..."
"You'll love it. Once you meet some young people your own age, feel free to bring them here as your guests. I realize that this place is a bit large for you to consider it a 'home' at first, but once you know your way around, it'll seem like a home to you...a big one...but a home."
"It looks more like Disneyland."
"That's Roger's doings. In many ways, he's much younger than you. Just be careful what you ask him for."
"What do you mean?"
"Just don't say things like, 'I wish we had a carousel!', because you just might wake up and find one in the backyard."
"I...I don't think there's anything I could ask for that isn't already here."
"Oh, I'm sure Roger will suggest a few things to you."
"But...you and Roger don't even know me. We only met at the airport."
"That's why you're here, Mike, so that we can get to know you. In a couple of days when you meet the rest of the family, I hope you'll like to become a member of whom we call, the Briarwood Boys."
Mike turned to look at Cliff. Mike was still in a state of wonder and disbelief. Slowly he walked toward Cliff and put his arms around Cliff's neck and hugged him tightly.
"This is my way of saying 'thanks'," Mike said as Cliff felt a lump in his throat. Neither Cliff nor Mike were aware Roger had been standing at Mike's door with his suitcase in hand until Roger spoke.
"Uh...do I get a hug, too?" Roger asked, almost timidly.
"Of course you do!" Mike exclaimed, only he ran to Roger to embrace him. Roger and Cliff's eyes locked on each other's as they were both about to burst by Mike's physical display of gratitude. Roger slowly nodded his head at Cliff as if to say, 'Yeah, I wouldn't mind adopting a sixteen year old kid'.
<><><><><>
Jim spent the next three days and nights at the hospital with Nina, only going home to shave, shower, and change clothes. He had left word at Tom's dorm to call him or come by the hospital. The more time passed that Tom didn't return the call, the more worried Jim became. Nina and Jim had stuck true to their word, neither of them discussing the 'triangle' matter. Jim realized the hell he was going through himself and imagined it was the same for Tom. Jim called Cliff to ask if he had heard from Tom, but Cliff answered in the negative, leading Cliff to believe that all was not well in the Kerr camp.
Jim was playing the dutiful role of husband during the time he spent with Nina. She had been transferred from ICU to an executive suite in the hospital with all the luxury of a fine hotel, except it WAS a hospital room with all the monitors and bedside equipment. Ed had arranged for Jim's meals to be sent up with Nina's, but Jim suspected that Ed had planned the menus--meals consisting of prime rib, small toasted Idaho potatoes, puréed broccoli with crème fraiche, and bananas Foster. THIS was hospital food?
In the afternoons, Jim would read to Nina from works by her favorite author, Taylor Caldwell, who had written the most vivid descriptions in her novels. Just before her death, a work written about her suggested that the only way Ms. Caldwell could write the way she did was that she must have been reincarnated over and over. How else could any author recreate the past with such authentic feeling? After dinner, Jim would put on one of the many DVD's that Cliff had brought from his house. There was almost a trend or motif in the selections, such as "An Affair To Remember", "The Way We Were", "The Horse Whisperer", "Bridges of Madison County", and the Streep/DeNiro classic, "Falling In Love". The titles caused Jim to raise an eyebrow, but he didn't question Cliff's selections. Since Nina was such a big fan of 'Third Watch' and of Eddie Cibrian in particular, Cliff had included "Living Out Loud", the movie where Eddie strips down to his white briefs to give Holly Hunter a massage. Jim found himself more focused on Eddie than the nude Holly under the sheet. Jim even became sexually aroused looking at Eddie's perfectly formed chest and abs. This arousal hadn't occurred the first time Jim had seen this film, but suddenly after the trysts with Tom, Jim was more aware of the naked male body in a way that he never had been before.
Nina and Jim laughed together at the funny parts and cried together during Cary Grant's 'awakening' in the final scene of "An Affair To Remember". The two of them even held hands watching the DVD's, like two kids on the back row of a movie house. In spite of the conflict that Tom had caused in their relationship, Jim and Nina DID love one another...and always would--no matter what.
Jim planned on dropping by the school for the final football practice Thursday afternoon. He had total confidence in his two assistants, Buddy and Dan to ready the team for Friday's game against Charlotte Tech since on the last 27 meetings between BU and C Tech, BU's winning record was 25 to 2. Tech had never had a team. Heck! Who could field a football squad made up of engineers and eggheads? Tech was no threat, even without Harm and Wylie in the lineup. Even BU's junior varsity team could wallop Tech in a snowstorm!
Jim arrived at the locker room early Thursday afternoon before the designated 3:30PM practice. As the team members began filing in one by one, Jim felt his stomach tie itself in knots of nerves and apprehension. He had neither seen nor heard from Tom in over three days and nights. He hoped that when their eyes met, all questions and doubts would dissolve. Buzz, Howie, and Phil piled in joking and rough housing but stopped when they saw Coach Kerr.
"Hey, Coach!" Howie, Phil, and Buzz said in unison.
"Hey, guys!" Jim replied with a warm welcoming smile.
"How's Mrs. 'K'?" Howie asked.
"Coming along really fine, Howie. Doctor Middleton said she should be coming home maybe Monday or Tuesday of next week!"
"Hey, that's great news!" Phil said. "We've been meaning to come up and see her since we go by Cole every day to see Wylie, but we were afraid she wasn't up to our kind of company."
"She'd love to see you guys--come on up tonight or tomorrow, the next time you come to see Wylie," Jim said. "I've been down to Wylie's room several times and he's making real progress. He's ready to come back to practice for next week's game against Murray U, but I think the doctors feel it's too soon for him to be tackling the gridiron. He had a really close call and I thank God he's gonna be all right."
"Coach, maybe this isn't the time to ask, but have you heard anything about Harm?"
"Father Cliff and Roger Cole went down to the police station. They're still holding Harm without bond. Cliff said that he received emergency surgery at County Hospital and reattached his...his missing part. The D.A. is trying to decide what to charge him with. Sandy's death could be ruled an accident with no charge against him, while Ray's accident could be gauged as unintentional manslaughter due to the icy road he was driving on. As for his assault on Wylie, I think they're gonna wait and see how fast Wylie can recover. I hate to say it, boys, but Harm will serve some time for his actions."
"What got into him, Coach?" Buzz asked.
"I don't know son. Maybe we'll never know the real reason," Jim replied, not wanting Buzz or any of the other team members to know that the real reason was Harm's jealousy over Tom. "So, how do you feel about tomorrow's game?"
"No sweat, Coach, we can't be beat by a bunch of pussies!" Howie exclaimed and the other team mates cheered.
Jim kept looking for Tom to come through the door. His palms were moist from nervous perspiration as three more members came in. Finally Jim spotted Tom who looked surprised to see Jim in the locker room.
"Hey, Tom!" Jim called.
"Coach," Tom said, acknowledging him, and then he dropped his head and went straight to his locker.
"'Coach'? That's all?" Jim thought to himself in alarm. "Not even 'hi coach'-- just 'coach' and now Tom's avoiding eye contact."
It was Howie and Phil who made eye contact with each other when they saw the cool greeting from Tom to the coach, as if to say, "What the fuck is going on between Tom and the coach?"
Jim tried not to let anyone notice his disturbed reaction to Tom's greeting. "So you guys are gonna make it 26 to 2?"
"We're gonna beat 'em so bad that they won't be able to play us next year!" Howie said, "So you may as well chalk it up to 27 to 2 right now!"
"Hey, Coach," Steve Bristol waved, "how did we lose those two games?"
"It was back during the Viet Nam war when so many of our guys at BU were called up by the draft and somehow the government thought that it ought to leave the 'scholars' at Connor at home. So they had a full squad and all we could gather to play were '4-F'ers' or fat tuba players from the band, guys with flat feet."
"Shit, those two games shouldn't count if we didn't have a team...bunch of fag pencil pushers!" Steve yelled.
Dan and Buddy were already on the field to begin practice. The guys in the locker room donned their uniforms and gear and went out to join them. Tom was in his uniform and started out the tunnel with George Kavanaugh and Butch Barton when Jim called to him.
"Hey, Tom!"
Tom stopped but didn't turn around to look at Jim.
"Tom, could I see you a moment?"
Tom sighed, dropped his shoulders and turned to go to Jim.
"How you been, buddy? I haven't heard a peep out of you in three days."
"I, uh, been studying. I didn't want to get behind. I missed several classes during all that Harm business...and well, I thought I'd spend a few days by myself to get myself caught up...and clear up my mind," Tom said, looking at the floor, still avoiding eye contact with Jim.
"I've missed you, Tom." Jim's voice had a question in it.
"Thanks, Coach."
"Is that all you can say?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Maybe that you missed me, too. Did you?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"What's going on, Tom, why are you treating me like some stranger?"
"I've had a few days to myself to do some thinking...and what we--you and I-- were doing...is all wrong."
"I thought you loved me...and I thought I had made it clear that I loved you, too."
"Well, that was before I heard where Nina was going the night she had her wreck."
"What did you hear?"
"I heard that she left her house in a panic to find you and me to warn us that Harm was out looking for us. She risked HER life to save mine and yours...and I owe her a lot. I mean she cared enough about the both of us, even knowing that we were... doing things behind her back, to come to our rescue...and I can't or won't forget it."
"What are you trying to say, Tom."
"I'm saying that I can't go on deceiving her and having sex with her husband whom she still loves, and if you're the man I think you are, you'll have to admit that you still love her." Tom blurted out his thoughts without thinking if anyone else was in earshot.
"I do, Tom."
"There, you see? I can't be the third corner in a triangle. Someone is going to get hurt and I'd rather it be me than you or she."
"No one is going to get hurt, Tom. Nina knows everything about the way you and I feel about each other."
"Maybe I don't feel the same way."
"Meaning?"
"Suppose when she comes home, I drop by to see you and when bedtime comes, I go hop in the sack with her and have sex with her to the point she's screaming her head off loud enough for you to hear in the next room. How the fuck would you feel?"
"I'm not sure. I never envisioned seeing you with Nina in bed."
"Well, think about it! I sure as shit have...for three fucking days! And Jim, I can't do it any more. Whatever we both felt will have to vanish into some kind of memory because it won't happen again."
"I see," Jim said, dejected.
"Now, can I go to practice? They can't run any plays without the quarterback!"
"Go on, Tom."
"I'm sorry, Jim, but that's the way it is."
"Can I at least hug you?"
"No, please, don't! I don't want anything to get started again. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I've been a rotten spoiled brat most of my life and I guess nothing's changed. I'm looking out for myself...but for you too, if you can see it!" Tom shouted through his tears. Then he turned and ran out of the tunnel to join practice, leaving Jim all alone.
Jim felt lost, his whole world crashing about him. The ONE time he had been unfaithful to his wife was with another male. Now he didn't know how he felt! Was he gay or had this only been a fantasy that had turned into a quiet nightmare? Jim stumbled back into his office, turned out the light and sat in the darkness. What to do?
<><><><><><><><><>
Mike had had the time of his life shopping for clothes with Jay. Jay was the stereotype homosexual that Mike had always imagined, but that didn't seem to bother him because Jay was the funniest guy Mike had ever met. The first store where they shopped, Jay went straight to the women's lingerie department and told the saleslady that he wanted to fit Mike in a training bra while Jay grabbed one of the extra large bras and put it on over his street clothes. The saleslady looked aghast and Mike bent over double with laughter.
The two of them had lunch at some fancy restaurant where they only spoke French. Mike had no idea what Jay had ordered for him. Jay thought he was playing a joke on Mike by ordering fried frog legs. When Mike saw the dish, he dived right in and started eating. Jay's joke had backfired. He couldn't believe that the kid would eat anything like that.
"My God, don't you even know what you're eating?" Jay asked.
"Sure, frogs' legs. I used to catch 'em in the creek back home and Momma would batter and fry me up a dozen of 'em. I could eat 'em all day!" Mike said, chomping on the next leg.
Watching Mike eat the amphibian turned Jay's stomach and he couldn't eat his own food, composed of assorted crepes.
"Aren't you gonna eat those pancakes?" Mike asked.
"No, dearie, I suddenly felt full with the crow I had eaten!"
"Gosh! You eat crows?"
"Only when they're in season."
"When are they in season?"
"Every month that has a 'q' in it! Now shut up and eat your broccoli like a good elf!"
"I like broccoli!" Mike exclaimed.
"Hallelujah! You're on the road to recovery!"
"What do you mean?"
"Remember what you want to ask your Auntie Jay and I'll supply all the answers during recess!"
Mike laughed and continued eating the broccoli crepe.
When the two of them returned from shopping, Mike had twelve of everything that they had shopped for. Jay liked to buy by the dozen so Mike had twelve shirts, twelve pair of pants, socks, underwear (Calvin's of course), shoes, and sweaters. Mike hadn't had this much clothing in his entire sixteen years. He was still living in a dream and kept wondering when the magic would stop. Everyone was so nice to him. He played video games after breakfast with Troy and they had hit if off like brothers. Cliff and Roger were so pleased that Mike was becoming one of the boys... straight perhaps, but one of the Briarwood boys just the same.
They had an early supper of hot dogs and hamburgers so that they could get to the game on time. Cliff knew that Mike's face and jaws must be aching from smiling all day long. Every minute was like Christmas, until the next minute which was even better.
Mike hadn't spent much time with his brother, Vince, so this was the first time he had ever been treated with so much attention and affection from any male. He liked it, in spite of being surrounded by 'queers'. They were just as nice or nicer than 'regular' people...and with all the things that had been lavished on him in the past 24 hours, Mike thought he could tolerate anybody or anything. For the first and only time in his life, Mike was happy.
Cliff, Roger, and Mike bundled up in thick sweaters, toboggans, gloves, and hand warmers and set off to BU for the game. Their seats of course were on the fifty yard line, right behind the BU bench. Several of the team members who were also members of St. Genesius, waved and called out to Cliff and Roger. This impressed Mike. These were guys just three or four years older than he, and if they like Cliff and Roger, then so could he.
The game went as predicted...BU...52, C Tech...6. Mike couldn't keep his eyes off the quarterback. Tom played one of his best games, completing nearly all of his passes and running for two touchdowns on quarterback draw plays.
When the game ended, Cliff kept his word and took Mike down to meet some of the players before they went to the locker room to shower. Howie was so excited he ran up to Cliff, hugged him, and spun him around, shouting, "Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you, Father, that we were gonna whoop their asses?" This tickled Mike to see the priest being treated like one of the guys'. Then Tom came over to see Cliff and Roger.
They gave Tom a hug and said, "Great game, son. You played a great game."
"Thanks, Father, Roger." Tom said.
"Oh, Tom, have you got time to meet someone?"
"Sure."
Cliff put his arm around Mike and almost pulled him up to meet Tom. Mike was in awe of the hero of the game. He actually blushed when Tom put out his hand to shake Mike's.
"Tom, this is our new tenant at the house, Mike Hanley. Mike, this is Tom Summerfield. Mike is going to be staying with us while he has some work done at Cole."
"Pleased to meet you, Mike," Tom said, fully understanding what Cliff meant if Mike was going to Cole.
"Nice to meet you, sir," Mike replied.
"Hey! Hey! Watch that 'sir' business. I'm not that much older than you."
For some reason, Mike got the courage to ask, "Are you coming over for lunch on Sunday?"
"Sure...if you're gonna be there!" Tom replied, trying to add a little warmth to the kid. "Hey, you want a souvenir, Mike?"
"Sure."
Tom handed Mike the game ball. "Here, this is to remind you of the first game you saw at BU."
Mike was so overcome that he almost fainted. "I...I don't know what to say."
"'Thanks' will do just fine."
"Well, gee...thanks!"
"OK," Cliff said, "now go jump into a hot shower and we'll see you Sunday."
"You can count on it, Father. I'll be there!" Tom said as he started to leave and turned to Mike to say, "I'll see you there, too, Slugger!" Mike blushed as Tom turned and ran to the tunnel.
"How was that?" Cliff asked Mike.
"Sensational!" Mike replied. "How come the whole team knows you and Roger?"
"A lot of them go to my church and they're like sons to us."
"Dang! How many sons do you have?"
Roger laughed and interjected, "We has more sons than stars in the heavens, Mike!"
"I'm starting to believe that," Mike said.
"Did you enjoy the game?" Roger asked.
"Gosh, yeah! I especially enjoyed watching and then meeting Tom, the quarterback."
Roger and Cliff exchanged a 'what's this?' glance and escorted Mike to the car.
<><><><><><>
Jim stayed in total darkness inside his locker room office while letting Dan and Buddy coach the game. He felt that his 'fling' had fucked up three lives, Nina's, Tom's, and his own. If word got back to Dean Connelly about his affair with a student, then not only his job, but his future as a coach anywhere else would be in jeopardy. He tried to analyze the series of events that had led him to this moment. He had married his soulmate nearly ten years ago. As in most long-term marriages, marital sex had dwindled down to one-a-month, then to nonexistent and that did nothing to quell the urges of manhood. He was young, in his thirties. Lots of guys waited until their late 30's or early 40's before beginning life with a partner. Masturbation in his morning shower did very little to alleviate his sexual need...that was like putting a band-aid on malignant tumor.
Jim's biggest question was how Tom was able to bring out a latent homosexuality in him---a married football coach? Not one time in his life, even in puberty, had Jim been attracted to another male, clothed or naked. Cliff had offered logical explanations in one of their talks. Maybe Jim did envision Tom as the son he'd never had and he somehow wanted to crawl inside Tom's body and be 20 years old again, filling out the suppressed desires he had always hidden, too afraid to come forward with his true feelings. After all, Tom was the image every boy dreams he might become one day--muscular, athletic, good looking, no, not good looking...downright handsome. Tom was an independent thinker, not letting anyone run or ruin his life. Tom had money, left to him from his parents' accident. He was the perfect specimen, all except one chink in the armor, Tom was gay. Somehow this trait didn't seem to fit in with his perfection. What makes a guy gay?...Especially a guy like Tom? From all reports that Jim could check, Tom had had a good home life and a good relationship with both parents. Why would he choose men over women? And most important, why would Jim, himself, become attracted to young men after a life of 100% heterosexuality.
'Could I go back to Nina and continue on with our life as before?' Jim asked himself. 'Would she take me back? Would I do the same thing over with another student or another male? After what I have been through with Tom, could I treat him just as 'another student' as if nothing had ever happened?'
His thoughts became more serious: 'Should I quit my job, pack a suitcase and drive off into the sunset? Am I coward enough to take my own life and become only a memory...good or bad? Should I seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist?' Jim waited in the dark for the answers to some of the proposals he had offered to himself. but no answers came. Jim, instead, put his head of his desk and sobbed. He was too scared and depressed to come to any conclusion by himself. Maybe the best thing to do would be to talk to Cliff and ask for structured guidance.
He left his office and walked through the tunnel to the field to watch the last five minutes of the game. He stood there until the game was over and welcomed his team as they came back from victory and hugged them all, one by one. God, how he loved his job! God! How he loved his boys! His depression seemed to disappear, replaced with elation as he embraced his winning team.
<><><><><><><><>
Later that night, Mike went to his room, overjoyed by the proceedings of the evening. He relived it, moment by moment. The highlight had been his meeting the quarterback, Tom. There had been an attraction that he could not comprehend or explain. He was more puzzled by the fact that he thought about Tom during his nightly jerk off session. He had had similar feelings about Ted in Mackintosh. but these emotions went beyond his attraction to Ted. Mike kept wishing he could be alone with his quarterback hero. He wasn't sure what the two of them would do, but it would be wonderful, whatever happened between the two of them...but Mike came back to reality when it dawned on him that he was HIV positive and would be the rest of his short life. Why must the other end of a rainbow be a pot of coal?
<><><><><><><><><><>
(To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK SIX--chapter--sixty-five.)