All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2002
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK FIVE
"FATHER JEFF"
Chapter-Fifty-three
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The organ at St. Aloysius trumpeted a fanfare, then the music relaxed and slowly went into the intro of today's special song. Lonnie McLaren, the choir's lead tenor, stood nervously before the full congregation and began to sing Lerner and Loewe's ballad from Broadway's 1947 musical, "Brigadoon".
"I saw a man with his head bowed low.
His heart had no place to go.
I looked and I thought to myself with a sigh:
There but for you go I.
I saw a man walking by the sea,
Alone with the tide was he.
I looked and I thought as I watched him go by:
There but for you go I.
Lonely men around me, trying not to cry.
Till the day you found me, there among them was I.
I saw a man who had never known a love that was all his own.
I thought as I thanked all the stars in the sky:
There, but for you, go I."
Jeff walked to the altar rail and looked at the two men standing before him and began the service.
"We gather today as Brothers in Christ to witness and celebrate the beginning of a new journey in life for these two that present themselves before us this day. This ceremony is the outward and visible sign of a sacred union of hearts and love. We rejoice in their commitment to one another and it is our prayer that they have a long and happy life together.
"The scriptures tell us of the love between Jesus and James and of David and Jonathan. It is only right and proper that Alex Clayton and Ted Baxter come forward to have their pairing consecrated. I would ask that they answer, before us all, these questions to declare their eternal devotion.
"Alex, do you choose Ted to be your exclusive partner from this day on? Do you give yourself to him? Do you commit yourself to him for the rest of your journey in life? Do you pledge yourself to him in love and work; to cherish him above all others and respect his individuality, and encourage him in each endeavor he might pursue? Do you promise to stay and be with him through whatever life bestows upon the two of you, be it good times or bad, sickness and health, happiness and sorrow, until you are separated by death?"
"I do," Alex answered, simply.
"Ted, do you choose Alex to be your exclusive partner from this day on? Do you give yourself to him? Do you commit yourself to him for the rest of your journey in life? Do you pledge yourself to him in love and work; to cherish him above all others and respect his individuality, and encourage him in each endeavor he might pursue? Do you promise to stay and be with him through whatever life bestows upon the two of you, be it good times or bad, sickness and health, happiness and sorrow, until you are separated by death?"
"I do," Ted answered, tears gathering in his eyes.
"What token do you give that will fulfill these vows?"
"These rings." Ted replied.
"These rings are the visible signs of a spiritual bond which unites you through your journey of endless love. Will you repeat after me and place the ring on your partner's third finger?"
"I, Alex Clayton, take you, Ted Baxter, to be my only love till the end of my days, and ask that you take this ring as a token of my fidelity, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost."
Alex repeated Jeff's words and slid the ring on Ted's finger. Then Jeff looked at Ted and asked him to repeat the same words. Ted's voice sounded shakier than Alex's, as he was more nervous about an outward display of his being gay in front of the St. Aloysius congregation. But somehow he managed to repeat the vow.
"Inasmuch as Alex and Ted had pledged themselves to each other before God and this company by saying their vows and exchanging rings, symbolizing their commitment to this relationship, let it be known that, from this day forward, they are joined as life partners in a sacred union which no man can or will ever dissever. And now, to the members and guests of St. Aloysius, I would like to present to you two new life partners in the name of God beyond us, God within us, and God between us. Amen."
Once again, Lonnie arose to finish the celebration with another song from "Brigadoon", with the lyrics slightly adjusted to illustrate this moment.
"You and the world we knew will glow, till my life is through;
For you're part of me from this day on.
And now that I've found my love, it's you I'll be dreaming of,
For you're all I'll see from this day on.
If these hurried hours are all the life we can share.
Then, I would go with not a tear, just a prayer
That if we are far apart, you'll find something from your heart
Has gone! Gone with me from this day on.
Through all the years to come, and through all the tears to come,
I know I'll be yours from this day on."
"You may kiss each other, gentlemen," Jeff said with a warm smile.
It was Alex who took the initiative, kissing Ted, as he was aware of his lover's shyness, in spite of Ted's sports bravado. The Mackintosh residents who had attended the ceremony broke into thunderous applause, cheering the young couple. The entire ceremony was taped for the fathers and brothers back in Briarwood, none of which had traveled to attend the ritual, due to the quickness which with it had been arranged by Alex, Ted, and Jeff.
Johnny, assisted by Scott and Alan, had decorated the Powder Puff Pub in a wedding motif in various shades of blue streamers, blue condoms blown up as balloons, blue party favors, and blue seven-tiered wedding cake with a brilliant white top.
Almost three-fourths of the residents attending the service had never seen nor met their two new neighbors, but since one of them was Father Jeff's brother, they felt as if they knew them and besides, who could turn down a celebration of commitment followed by a large bash at the Pub? Several of the residents were professional musicians and came together to form a dance band for the party. Show tunes were the call of the day, starting with the gay legendary composers' works first, such as Gershwin, Porter, and Hart down through the musical ages ending with the most recent and predominants, Herman and Sondheim.
This was another first for Ted, canes or not, he'd never danced in public with Alex. They didn't really dance. It was more like Alex supporting and holding Ted closely, and walking in time with the music. The crowd echoed a cheer when Jeff invited Johnny to the dance floor as the first strains of "People" were heard. The assembly of gays and lesbians partook of the food, drink, and the music, forgetting all the dread of AIDS, HIV, and the drugs, treatments, and the pain that accompanied them. Alex and Ted represented the beginning of a new life, something that most of the crowd had known once, and perhaps would never know again. They shared in the celebration with the newly committed couple, feeling, for a moment, that it was a beginning possible for each of them.
Alan joined Scott behind the bar to keep the drinks flowing. They had made plans for Jeff to perform a ceremony for them in a couple of weeks.
There was only one somber face in the crowd...Mike Hanley's. During the past few days, he'd shown no inclination of moving to Briarwood, nor had he made an effort to exit Mackintosh. He was still staying in Jeff's and Johnny's guest room. Neither Jeff nor Johnny had any intention of asking him to leave until Mike had a chance to make up his mind concerning his health or his future. The option of his going to stay with Kyle and Ryan was still open and they were ready to receive him whenever, or if ever, the time came.
Mike was still reluctant to accept the lifestyle of the residents he had met since his arrival. He was still worried about the erection he had gotten sitting next to Alex in the car. Night after night, he lay awake wondering what has caused it. Then, there was his attraction toward Ted, the only celebrity he'd ever seen or met. He closed his eyes and tried to visualize Ted and Alex doing the same act that his brother Vince had performed on him. Then there was the matter of oral sex, which is what's usually thought of as the favorite gay sex act. Did Ted really put Alex in his mouth and vice versa? This idea not only revolted Mike, it disgusted him. No wonder people down south called queers 'queer'. It WAS queer!
Mike had his unspoken hopes built up ever since Alex had asked Jeff to find someone to assist with Ted's therapy and general caregiving. Alex had asked for a young person, and Mike knew he could do it and maybe even make some money while doing it. There were only two drawbacks. First, Mike knew that Jeff wanted him to go Briarwood and get tested at the Institute, and receive treatment if was proved that he had been infected by Vince. Of course, if he WAS, then Ted might not want him around. It was difficult for Mike to suggest himself for the position, when Jeff had made other plans for him. Secondly, he didn't know if he could work with Ted every day and accept Ted's homosexuality. Mike even wondered if there was a chance he could change Ted. It wasn't that Alex was the least bit feminine, but Ted fit the picture of a man's man to Mike. Ted was strong, muscular, handsome and had a nice deep announcer's voice. Mike had heard that a queer could put a spell on a straight guy and convince him to give in sexually. He wondered what kind of potion or witchcraft Alex had cast on Ted to make him that way. Still, it WAS a job, and the only available one he'd heard of in Mackintosh. Mike couldn't decide whom to approach with his idea...Father Jeff? Johnny? Alex? Or Ted, himself?
Jeff left the party long enough to go relieve himself in the men's room. He was surprised to see Alex was already there standing at one of the urinals. Jeff quietly snuck up behind his older brother and whispered to him in a lower tone, disguising his voice.
"Hey, buddy, anytime you get tired of your new husband, just bring that large piece of meat over to my house, and I'll teach you what it's like to be with a real man."
Alex was stunned. He dared not look around for fear of insulting one of his new neighbors. Jeff continued with his joke by reaching around and taking hold of Alex's penis, which stopped peeing immediately as soon as he was touched.
"God, that thing's gotten bigger since that last time I sucked on it!" Jeff said, bursting into laughter.
"Christ, Jeff, you almost made me pee all over myself," Alex replied with relief when he recognized his brother's voice.
"Had you going there for minute, didn't I?"
"Yeah, and then some."
"Having a good time at your party?" Jeff asked, beginning to pee at the next urinal.
"Bro, it's wonderful! You and Johnny outdid yourself. I never dreamed it would be like this."
"I thought I was gonna have to ram my hand up Ted's butt and answer for him like a ventriloquist at the altar."
"He was scared, Jeff. Ted has never allowed himself to be openly gay before, so that was a big undertaking for him during the vows."
"He seems more relaxed now."
"Thank God."
"You know all the years that you and Ted were going together, I never knew he was such a closet case. Ted was always the brave tough athlete. It never occurred to me that he was shy or afraid of anything."
"That's only because of the impression he had to give his public, In the bedroom, he's a pussycat and yet as aggressive as a tiger."
"You think he liked the ceremony?"
"He loved it! It's different when the crowd you're in front of is made up of 100% gays."
"I don't mind saying so, but you two made a very handsome couple. I know you're gonna be as happy as Johnny and I."
"Jeff, Johnny was the best thing that ever happened to you."
"Don't think I don't know it. Alex, I love him more every day, if that's possible. I can't believe that the four of us are going to be living together and seeing each other every day."
"Things couldn't be better, bro."
"Has Ted gotten used to the new house?" Jeff asked.
"What's there to get used to? You and Johnny made sure that the place is like something out of 'Better Homes and Gardens of Oz'. He loves it... and so do I. Jeff, both Ted and I are eternally grateful and will never be able to thank you enough!"
"I would have spent ten times that much to see you and Ted happy!"
"I guess you and I are exception to the rules. Brothers are supposed to fall out and develop some kind of sibling rivalry between them. You and I never have and there's nothing foreseeable that says we ever will."
"You can thank Dad for that. He treated us both like equals and we were never envious of one another."
"Oh, there was a time I was envious of you!" Alex said.
"Oh!---when?"
"When you and Johnny were working side by side and came home to each other every night, while I was spending weeks, sometimes months, away from Ted when he was traveling."
"Has he given the sports program for Mackintosh any more thought?"
"Yes, he's got a whole roster of ideas on his computer."
"How's it going with you and Johnny at the center?"
"It's no wonder that you love him. Boy, when he came to Briarwood to help you with your debate, if I had known how perfect he was, I'd've made a bigger play for him than you did. He's wonderful and he's wonderful for you. I told him about my having to fly to L.A. for a few days to get all of Ted's and my junk packed up and shipped to us here, and Johnny said to take as long as it takes."
"Ted's not going with you?"
"I think the trip will be too tiresome for him, Jeff. I want him to continue his workouts and therapy here while I'm gone. The last thing either of us wants is for him to have a relapse."
"You want him to stay with Johnny and me while you're gone?"
"Not if I can get someone to stay at the house with him, just to look after his needs. Did YOU ever think of someone?"
"I have a few prospects." Jeff replied.
"What about that kid, the one who's staying with you and Johnny?"
"Mike?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know if he's interested. Besides, he's only sixteen years old and that's a lot of responsibility. I don't think he can handle that just now."
"Shit! You and I could've done it when WE were sixteen."
"Yeah, but there's a lot of things I haven't told you about him yet. Some are private and I can't tell you about them."
"What's his biggest drawback...if you can tell me that?"
"Alex, I'm not sure if I should reveal this to you, but for safety's sake, Mike may or may not be HIV positive or worse. He's not gay, but he won't get tested."
"If that's the main problem, I've worked with AIDS patients for almost ten years. I know how to be careful around them."
"Yeah, but Ted doesn't."
"Well, it's not like Ted's gonna be exchanging body fluids with the kid. I've given Ted a crash course in the dangers of HIV and AIDS. I did that to keep him on his guard when he interviewed athletes, when and if they were bleeding in the locker room after being injured during a sporting event. It's just that I gotta find someone within the next week."
"OK, I'll discuss your proposition with Mike and you relate to Ted everything that I've told you."
"Tell Mike I'll pay him for his work. I'll supply him with rubber gloves, masks, and whatever he needs to make Ted comfortable."
"OK, we'll see." Jeff said, still not convinced. "Now, let's get back to the party. I still haven't danced with either groom."
The two of them started toward the door and Alex turned to put his arms around his brother's neck.
"Thanks, Jeff. I love you."
"I love you, too, you knucklehead." Jeff replied, kissing his brother briefly on the lips. "But I still can't believe how much bigger your cock has grown!"
They laughed and went back inside the Pub to the party.
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Five days later, on the following Monday morning, Jeff, Ted, and Mike drove Alex to the Montpelier airport to go to Los Angeles. Mike had accepted Ted's offer of $300 per week to answer to Ted's needs and whims. He had moved his simple belongings, plus all the clothing and men's accessories that Jeff and Johnny had bought for him, to one of the bedrooms at Alex and Ted's house.
Before he left, Alex had indoctrinated Mike with the assistance that Ted would need for his exercises and therapy. Alex had showed him also how to prepare basic meals for lunch and breakfast and Ted would help with special meals for supper, when it wasn't supplied by Alex or one of their neighbors. Jeff still had his concerns about leaving Ted alone with Mike, but he vowed to check on them three times a day, or maybe more.
Ted was a little embarrassed by Mike's hero worship, but welcomed the help that Mike would give him. Mike, on the other hand, tried his best to hide his enthusiasm for the high pay and for the advantage of being near Ted, plus the added bonus of living in THAT house with so many fancy gadgets. He was still cautious about what he thought of as Ted's 'doubtful' homosexuality and would remain on-guard for any advances Ted and/or Alex might make toward him. But in his heart and mind, he refused to believe that Ted was queer and, even if he were, Mike thought he might be able to change Ted.
Shortly after Alex's departure, the first test arose when Mike had to assist Ted in getting into the huge whirlpool bath. Ted was reluctant about letting Mike see him without clothes, but since this was the way he always got into the tub when Alex helped him, he stripped off his robe and revealed his naked body to Mike. Mike gasped when he looked at Ted's nudity for the first time. In spite of all the surgery scars and evidence of bones which were in casts, plus the minor weight he'd lost in the hospital, Ted's body was a symbol of masculine perfection. Since Ted had moved into his new home, he had taken daily sunbaths under the artificial sun tanning device. His skin was a golden brown which complimented the golden hair draped over one side of his forehead. Ted's pectorals and abs muscles would rival Brad Pitt's in "Fight Club". His legs were less muscular than they were before the accident and the golden fleece which surrounded his genitals left no doubt that Ted was a real blonde. Mike tried his best to keep his eyes from staring at the perfectly formed flaccid penis draped downward to partially conceal his massive testicles. Never before had Mike viewed such male personification. He was bothered that his own penis had stirred to an erection just by looking at the god before him. He wasn't sure how he would be able to touch Ted's flesh without feeling the wicked lust that was being displayed by his penis trying to poke its way out of his new tight denim jeans.
Ted was totally unaware of Mike's quandary as he awaited Mike to assist him into the whirlpool.
"Mike, come around behind me and place your arms under my armpits to give me support as I stretch my legs over the lip of the tub," Ted suggested.
Mike slowly walked behind Ted, trying to conceal his embarrassing physical dilemma as best he could. He threaded his arms under Ted's pits, giving Ted the ability to transfer his body weight onto Mike's arms and wrists. He raised one leg and eased it into the water and then the remaining leg and was able to sit. Ted exhaled with relief. Next, he prompted Mike to turn on the water jets and the hot water began bubbling and churning up to Ted's neck.
When he was certain that the whirlpool was working properly, Mike excused himself to go into the next room where he immediately lowered his jeans down to his thighs and poked his throbbing penis down between his legs, before he could go back to be near the object of his erection. Ted, in the meantime, had used a remote control to turn on ESPN Classics to watch a rerun of the Miami/Ohio State Fiesta Bowl game.
Mike returned to the workout room, but kept his distance from the pool.
"Mr. Baxter, would you like me to get you something to drink for when you get out?" Mike asked.
"Thanks, Mike. How about a V8 juice in a glass over ice. Get yourself one, too."
"Yes sir. I've never tasted V8 juice before. It doesn't have alcohol in it, does it?"
"No, Mike, it's safe for kids under twelve."
"OK."
Mike went to the kitchen and prepared Ted's order, fixing himself one as well. Then he brought the two drinks, including napkins, to Ted on a tray. Ted took one of the glasses and held it toward Mike.
"Shall we make a toast?" Ted asked.
The idea of a toast sounded very adult to Mike and he was happy to oblige. He held his glass near Ted.
"Here's to health and to long, happy lives for both of us." He clinked Mike's glass with his own. They both took a sip.
"Like it?" Ted asked.
"It tastes like tomato juice with celery." Mike replied, innocently.
"You're almost right. It has eight vegetables in it. It's very good for you...lots of vitamins and minerals to make you grow strong."
"Have you been drinking this all your life?"
"For most of it."
"Is that why your body is so powerful and strong-looking?"
"No, that's part of it. I've always worked out with weights and exercise equipment. It's my diet, however, that helps to create muscle and not body fat. Do you work out at all?"
"Nah, never saw any reason to," Mike said, and quickly added. "not until just now when I seen how healthy and strongly built you are."
Maybe the remarks were coming from a hayseed from Alabama, but Ted was relishing the compliments being paid to him, No one but Alex had seen Ted naked in over ten years, so Ted had never had the chance for anyone to brag on his body and the work he'd done to get it that way.
"I'll show you some easy exercises if you like," Ted suggested.
"I don't know about that. I've been hired to help you. not the other way around."
"Mike, I don't know how long you plan on staying with Alex and me, but it might be helpful if I had a workout partner."
Mike loved the sound of 'partner'. He'd never had a partner, nor a best friend for that matter, and the idea of 'working out' with a celebrity was beyond his innermost dreams.
"I'll try." Mike replied, with a pleased smile, trying to hide a blush.
"Have you ever tried out a whirlpool?"
"Nah, this 'un's the first one I've ever seen."
"When I get out, give it a try...only no peeing in the water."
The idea of peeing in the water hadn't occurred to Mike and left him somewhat embarrassed.
"Help me out, please," Ted said. "You can get undressed while I dry off."
Panic set into Mike. He couldn't possibly take his clothes off in front of his idol and risk showing an erection.
"I'd better wait until another time." Mike said.
"Nonsense. It's like swimming. You have no idea how good it feels until you've once gotten into the water. You DO swim, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"So you have nothing to be afraid of."
Ted held to the sides of the tub and stood up. Mike got the hint and joined Ted beside the whirlpool while Ted used Mike's shoulders for support as he exited the bath. The wet muscles of Ted's body made him even more attractive to the young kid.
"Now, strip!" Ted commanded.
Filled with anxious trepidation, Mike slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He watched and saw that Ted was paying no attention to his disrobing as Mike busied himself using several towels to dry off his chest and legs. Mike was glad he didn't have to help because if he had to touch Ted at this moment, there was no telling how embarrassing the situation might become, especially for Mike.
When Mike had removed his shirt, Ted looked up and said. "Mike, you've got the making of a nice chest. Your pecs would pop out in no time."
Mike wondered how his chest could turn red with embarrassment, but it did. He paused before unbuckling his belt.
"You're not shy, are you, Mike?"
"Well, kinda."
"Don't be. I've spent the past five years of my life looking at naked athletes, and I never bit one of them. Relax and take off your clothes."
"It's just...I've never had another person see me naked before."
"If that's what you're worried about. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, so I'll turn my back while you remove your jeans and shoes."
These words embarrassed Mike in a different way. Ted was treating him like a child, not a man. He wanted Ted to see how grown-up he was and to give Ted the impression he was manly, not queer, but the unseen problem he was hiding in his pants was still of chief concern to Mike. He watched as Ted turned away from him and, quickly, Mike pulled off his shoes and socks and lowered his jeans and briefs at the same time. His penis sprang forth like a divining rod which had just found a buried spring. He prayed that he could get into the tub before Ted saw it. Mike nervously grabbed the side of the whirlpool and tried to hoist his entire body over the rim with one swoop. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. A pool of water remained on the floor where Ted has exited and Mike's right foot slipped in it, landing him on his back with a thud and flopping penis to boot, for both of them to notice.
Ted turned around to see what had happened and tried his best to reach Mike, without his canes.
"Are you all right?"
Physically, Mike was, but emotionally, he was devastated as he tried to cover his hard on with both hands. Ted became aware of Mike's embarrassing dilemma and tried not to look at it or make any remark concerning it.
"Yeah...I kinda slipped," is all Mike could say.
"Wanna try it again?" Ted asked.
"I'm not sure," Mike answered.
"Come on, stand up, and use MY shoulders to steady yourself."
Slowly Mike stood up and his erect penis was only inches away from Ted' face. Ted tried to ignore it, but that was impossible.
"I...uh...see you've got yourself another problem," Ted said.
"Uh...yeah. It gets that way when I get hurt or something," Mike sputtered.
"You're hurt?" Ted said. "From the looks of that thing, I'd say you're quite hurt." Ted was trying his best to make light of the situation.
"Well, I ain't no queer, if that's what you're thinking." Mike said, strongly.
Mike's sudden verbal defense and his use of the word, 'queer', made a lot of things clear to Ted. Ted had a flashback about the first time he had undressed in gym at junior high school. He has sported the same kind of reaction when his classmates saw his erection. It was only through adolescent sexual experimentation with Alex, that he had learned how to cope with the problem. Years later, while being in the Dallas Cowboys' locker room and getting a glance at Troy Aiken in the raw, Ted had wondered how he would react if he had to shower with the handsome quarterback...probably the same way that Mike had reacted just now in front of him.
"Mike, relax, please," Ted said, calmly.
"I've seen many athletes with the same problem while they were showering. They weren't 'queer' as you said. They're he-men and have no doubts about their manhood. It just happens. It's a natural response in a unique situation. You want to know something?"
"What?"
"I was kinda embarrassed getting naked in front of you a few minutes ago."
"YOU? ME? You're kidding?"
"No, I've guessed we're both unaccustomed to being undressed in front of the same sex."
Mike paused a long time before he was brave enough to reply.
"Yeah, but it's different for you and me."
"How so?"
"Well, I went to your wedding," Mike said, his voice shaking a bit. "That means you're one of them. You're not like me!"
"No, Mike, I'm not. I'm...gay!" This was still difficult for Ted to say out loud, especially in front of a sixteen year old heterosexual.
"Gay?" Mike, responded, loudly. "Does that mean you suck dicks?"
"Yes, Mike, but only one."
"You mean, Mr. Clayton's...Alex's?"
"Yes, Mike, Alex and I are lovers...partners for life."
"But didn't you ever like women?"
"I dated a few girls in high school. I took them to proms and parties."
"But you never had sex with any of them?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I didn't need to. Whenever I wanted sex or felt the need, I always had Alex and that's all I ever wanted."
"Didn't you ever want to try?"
"I guess not. Alex always seemed to know how to please me."
"You fuck him, too, I suppose? And what about you? Do you let him fuck you, too?"
"Mike, I don't think it's proper to reveal what goes on privately in Alex's and my bedroom."
"Then, it's TRUE!" Mike shouted. "I didn't want to believe it. I said it was something you were just going along with, but that you didn't actually do it!"
"Mike, let me ask YOU a question."
"What!?"
"Have you ever had sex with a girl?"
"Heck no!"
"Then how do you know that you'll like it?"
"Because boys are supposed to have sex with girls, NOT other boys!"
"OK. I'll grant you that...but have you or did you ever jerk off with one of your boy friends? I mean, did you ever have sex with someone of the same sex?"
"NO! I DIDN'T JERK OFF WITH ANY FRIENDS!" Mike said, emphatically.
"No sex at all? Male or female?"
Mike paused again,
"Maybe just once." Mike answered defensively.
"Will you tell me about it?" Ted suddenly had the feeling he was conducting an interview, trying to get the "dirt" from his subject.
"How old were you, Mike?"
"Fifteen."
"Was it with some casual acquaintance or with someone you cared about?"
Mike was about to burst with anger. "IT WAS WITH MY BROTHER, YOU ASSHOLE!!!"
"I thought Jeff told us you didn't have any family."
"I DON'T! HE'S DEAD! HE HAD AIDS!!!"
Mike's pronouncement made Ted feel weak in the pit of his stomach. He had gone too far, prying too much. There were still questions to be asked and answered, but he was afraid to pursue the subject any further because with his last outburst, Mike had sunk to the floor crying aloud.
Ted slowly eased himself to the floor beside Mike and tenderly placed his arm around Mike's shoulder."
"Hey, Mike," Ted said, above a whisper, "I'm sorry, little buddy. I'm really sorry."
"No, Mr. Baxter, I'm the one who's sorry." Mike said. muffled while hiding his face in his folded arms. "Father Jeff and Johnny think my brother gave AIDS to me, and they want me to go to Briarwood or some place to get tested."
"Do you REALLY want to know, Mike?"
"I don't think so. If I've got it, I'm gonna die real soon and it don't matter whether I know or not!"
"Mike, didn't Jeff and Johnny explain that AIDS is no longer a death sentence? That it's treatable?"
"Yeah, I heard 'em, but I didn't believe 'em. My brother, Vince, died from it a few months ago while living here in Mackintosh."
Mike's whole picture became clear to Ted now. Ted wanted to find the right words to say to further Jeff's and Johnny's attempt to save the kid and he wondered how much of this Alex had known before he left for L.A.?
Ted continued to offer sympathy and solace to the grieving boy. He stroked Mike's hair and wanted to comfort him more, but their both being naked would make the gesture a bit difficult. Mike's sobbing began to subside and Ted wanted to go on with their conversation, especially since Mike had opened up to him, baring the terrible truth that Mike kept hidden from the world.
"Mike, had you and your brother ever had sex when you were younger?"
"No, just that one time."
"Let me ask you this. Were you a willing partner or did Vince take you by force?"
"Neither, I guess," Mike said. "I didn't know what he was doing at first, then I wondered WHY was he doing it? It hurt, Mr. Baxter. It hurt me physically as well as it hurt my feelings."
"I suppose you gave all the details to Jeff and Johnny, but I'd like to know if he used any kind of protection?"
"Yeah, that's what Father Jeff asked. NO! He didn't use no rubber. He fucked me in the ass and shot his nasty sperm inside me. I'd've felt no different if he had held me down and shit on me. At least he might not've given me that disease."
"God! I can't imagine why he would do that to his own brother. He must've known that he had the disease. Why in God's name would he want to give it to you? Did you two have problems? I mean, did he hate you?"
"Vince wasn't around enough for anyone to hate him. I'd hardly seen him in years. I don't remember ever having a fight or an argument with him."
"That selfish bastard," Ted said, under his breath. Turning to Mike, he said, "Did you tell your mother what he'd done to you?"
"Heck, no! She'd've thrown me out of the house and called me a queer. I couldn't tell her. I needed to stay with her because I knew she was sick and was going to die. I had to take care of her."
"Boy, you've had one miserable year, Mike. I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make things better for you."
"That's why I wanted this job. It wasn't because I wanted to be around guys like you and Mr. Clayton. I just needed the money to get a bus ticket and go far away."
"Mike, don't you think you've run faraway enough? Wouldn't you like to go to Briarwood and get well first?"
"I don't want to get well because I'm not really sure if I'm sick!"
"OK, let's make a deal."
"What kind?"
"Suppose we let one of the doctors here in Mackintosh draw some of your blood and we'll send it off to the Institute and find out for sure if you've been infected. After we get the results back, in about a week, you can decide then what you want to do or where you want to go. In the meantime, you can go on living here in Alex's and my house and helping me. At least you'll still be making money. Whaddya say?"
"But what if I AM sick?"
"What if you're NOT? You won't be able to rest until you find out, once and for all."
Mike thought to himself for a couple of moments before he spoke again.
"You know something, Mr. Baxter?"
"What's that, Mike?"
"I like you."
"I'm glad. I like you, too."
"I mean, I REALLY like you. I knew it the minute I sat with you in the backseat, coming from the airport the other day."
"Thank you, Mike. I'll take that as a compliment."
"I can see why Mr. Clayton thinks about you the way he does. I mean, if I was queer like him, I'd feel the same way."
As they talked, Mike began to trust Ted. Ted's arm was still around Mike's shoulder and Mike took advantage of it and leaned his head onto Ted's naked chest. None of this touching bothered Ted, but he noticed that Mike was getting slightly sexually aroused and wondered how and when he should stop the small embrace. He didn't want Mike to get the wrong idea about anything. Neither of them were aware that Jeff had entered the house and was standing at the door watching.
"Excuse me," Jeff said. "Am I interrupting?"
Both Ted and Mike became extremely embarrassed by their sitting naked on the floor, seemingly locked in a semi-embrace.
"No, Jeff, come in," Ted said, using this as an opportunity to withdraw his arm from Mike's shoulders.
Mike jumped to his feet and grabbed his clothes from the floor, trying to hide his nakedness, not to mention his erection, and ran out of the workout room in fear.
"Johnny made a huge supper and I thought I'd bring some of it over to share with you two."
"That's very nice."
"Do you need some help getting up?" Jeff asked.
"I could use a hand. You might want to hand me my robe while you're at it."
Jeff moved forward and extended his hand to Ted and gave him the robe.
"Jeff, before you get the wrong idea..."
"Ted, you don't have to explain, I apologize for eavesdropping, but I heard most of your conversation with Mike."
"I realize it must've looked very incriminating to see me on the floor naked with him."
"No, not really. Don't you have to take your clothes off before you get into the whirlpool?"
"Yeah, sure, It's just that..."
"Ted, you know I trust you. I know that Alex trusts you and you would never do anything to violate that trust."
"Damn, Jeff, you caught me with my pants down, literally."
"Well, don't think I wasn't impressed by what I saw," Jeff joked. "I must say, your body had changed quite a bit since we used to go skinny dipping with our dads. I can see now that Alex is a lucky dude!"
"Jeff, stop it! You're making me blush."
"Ted, I was just trying to get you to relax from an uneasy situation. Where are your canes?"
"Over beside the door, where I left them."
"Let me get them for you."
Jeff retrieved the canes, which gave Ted a chance to recover his equanimity, before Jeff handed the canes to Ted.
"Now," Jeff continued, "we have to decide what we're gonna do with Mike. I liked your idea about drawing his blood here for testing. It could solve a sea of troubles."
"Jeff, we have to look at his dilemma two ways," Ted said. "If he IS infected, then we've got to find some way to get him to Briarwood. But, if he's NOT, then he can make up his own mind what he wishes to do. I mean, he can stay with me and Alex as long as he likes."
"It's funny that you should say that. Johnny said at breakfast this morning how much he missed having Mike around our house. The kid kinda grows on you, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, It sorta makes me envious of Kyle and Ryan, adopting two kids and all."
"That's the way Johnny and I feel. It's just I can't see adopting two kids and trying to rear them in this environment of death and disease. It wouldn't be fair to them."
"You're right, bro," Ted said, "I guess if we find out that there's nothing wrong with Mike, and IF he wants to stay in Mackintosh,...well, you and Johnny can flip a coin with Alex and me and see who gets him."
Jeff and Ted were startled by the scream from the next room.
"NONE OF YOU ARE GONNA GET ME!" shouted Mike. "I AIN'T GONNA BE ADOPTED BY TWO FUCKING QUEER FAGGOTS!!"
"Mike, no one's going to adopt you!" Jeff called to him. "Ted and I were talking about possibilities, in case you WANTED to stay and live here. All four of us would like for you to stay if that's your decision. You could have your choice whom you'd like to live with."
Mike came into the workout room, totally dressed. "Why? So I could be your little 'boy toy'?"
"Mike, please come sit with Ted and me. Let's talk," Jeff said, in an almost fatherly fashion.
Jeff's tone got the best of Mike and he obeyed like a naughty child. He came over and sat on the bench between Jeff and Ted.
"Mike, please be honest with both of us," Jeff said. "You've been here almost a week. You've seen a lot of strange things, or at least, things that were strange to you, and you've met a lot of people who are unlike the people you knew in Alabama. You know that the residents here in Mackintosh are all gay....either they are or were in the past. Has any of them approached you with sexual innuendos or tried to attack you?"
"Well, no," Mike mumbled.
"Have Johnny, Ted, Alex, or I said anything to make you feel uncomfortable?"
"No."
"When you went to bed, here or at my house, were you afraid that any of us would come into your bedroom and accost you?"
"Well, no." His voice revealed his self-questioning.
"Thank you for being honest, because none of us have or ever will. Contrary to what you might have learned from your mother or your neighbors in Alabama, gay people don't go around trying to get into little boys' pants. It's not their nature."
"What about VINCE?"
"I can't speak for Vince, I never met nor knew him. He was your brother, and you can probably answer that question better than Ted or I. Maybe Vince did what he did because he was your brother and wanted to love you. Maybe he wanted to hold you one final time to make up for all the years he'd lost with you. Maybe he got carried away with his feelings and wanted to show his love for you in the only way he knew. Perhaps he didn't feel he was attacking you. Maybe he wanted to make love with you. I mean, think back about that night! Was he mean to you? Did he try to hurt you? Or was he actually gentle with you?"
"He wasn't really rough, if that's what you mean," the boy said, remembering.
"Did he kiss you?"
"Yeah, the back of my neck when I was on my stomach."
"Is it possible, then, that he was trying to show his love for you?"
"I'd never thought about it. I mean, I was so scared while he was doing it to me."
"Mike, did he say anything to you as he left? Think hard!"
"Yeah, he said he was sorry and that he'd miss me."
"Anything else?"
Mike dropped his head.
"He...he said...he loved me." Mike said softly and once again began to cry, but quietly, this time.
Neither Jeff or Ted could speak as they were choking back tears. Slowly Jeff took the weeping boy into his arms and embraced him.
"Cry it out, Mike." Jeff whispered. "You've earned this cry, so let it all out and be done with it."
Ted put one arm around Jeff and his other on Mike's back to complete the triangle.
The problems at hand had been temporarily resolved and the trouble between Mike and Vince now had a closure.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I wanted to end this chapter with a Stephen Sondheim song which he wrote for his 1987 Broadway musical, "Into the Woods". The lyric seemed appropriate for Mike's ordeal. I hope they will mean something to you, the reader.
R.C.
How do you say to your child in the night Nothing is all black but then nothing is all white? How do you say it will all be alright When you know that it mightn't be true? What do you do?
Careful the things you say, Children will listen. Careful the things you do, Children will see... And learn. Children may not obey, But children will listen. Children will look to you For which way to turn... To learn what to be. Careful before you say, "Listen to me." Children will listen.
What do you leave to your child when you're dead Only what ever you put in its head--- Things that your mother and father had said Which were left to them, too. Careful what you say, children will listen Careful you do it, too---children will see and learn.
Careful the wish you make, Wishes are children. Careful the path they take, Wishes come true, Not free. Careful the spell you cast, Not just on children. Sometimes the spell may last Past what you can see And turn against you...
Careful the tale you tell. That is the spell. Children will listen...
Copyright by Mr. Sondheim, 1987.
(To be continued in "Briarwood"--BOOK FIVE--chapter-fifty-four.)