All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2002
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK FIVE
"FATHER JEFF"
Chapter-Fifty-one
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"...Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes,
In the world of love you keep in your eyes,
I'll awaken what's asleep in your eyes.
It may take a kiss or two.
Through all of my life,
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall of my life,
All I ever will recall of my life,
Is all of my life with you."
Music: Michel Legrand;
Lyrics: Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman
Copyright circa 1966.
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Chris was seated in the chair opposite Cliff's desk in his church study. Chris was looking downward through his hands which were propped up by his elbows supported on his knees. He was glumly depressed and Cliff knew that any second Chris could burst into tears. Chris spoke quietly to Cliff in a monotone voice, his face was expressionless with a flat- affect look to it, "Cliff, then Andy looked at me and asked, 'am I gonna die'?"
"Were you honest with him, Chris?" Cliff asked, very understandingly.
"I'm afraid I dodged him with a direct reply. At the moment, Ed and Dr. Deemus don't give him much of a chance for recovery, but you and I work for the 'Great Physician' and both of us have seen miracles occur when no hope was left. It's not as if Ed hasn't treated all kinds of cancer before, he's an expert in the field, but for the past ten years he's dealt with AIDS related sarcomas and carcinomas...and for some strange reason, with all the unsafe sex Andy has experienced, he's AIDS and HIV virus-free...and to top everything, Ed feels guilty about not being able to treat Andy. You know there's nothing under the sun that would make me believe that Ed wasn't doing everything possible to cure him...but with Andy's and my past history, Ed feels as if he's NOT doing everything he can because he thinks I believe he's jealous of Andy and me."
"Chris, you can't mean that! Roger and I both know that Ed is the finest doctor in his field, bar none. He would use every bit of medical knowledge he's acquired to make Andy well, if Andy were a total stranger."
"You know Cliff, when Andy called me from Atlanta and suddenly showed up in Briarwood, I kept feeling he had come here to revenge my leaving him in the lurch as I did...that maybe he had come here to cause trouble and friction between Ed and me. When I fell in love with Ed and was finally convinced that this brilliant, handsome, ex-heterosexual, actually loved me too. I was certain that I'd found the soul mate I'd looked for all my life. I STILL do. I love Ed more than anyone in my past, present, or future. That was one of the reasons I didn't want to see Andy or especially see him here in Briarwood. I didn't want him to interfere with Ed's and my relationship. I even avoided visiting him at Cole unless Ed was with me. Now, with Andy's mysterious illness, he's driven a slight wedge of guilt between Ed and me."
"Chris, you surely don't believe that. You've just openly expressed your love for Ed to me and I'm certain Ed loves you as much as always. Maybe this is some feeling you have that really doesn't exist. Perhaps you're building the wedge and Ed feels guilty about not being able to care for Andy, the same if he were any one of his other patients. You know, Ed loses patients every day...and he takes it hard and often blames himself when the patient's illness had gone too far to be treatable."
"I know...I've seen him in the den at home when he thought I wasn't around. He often sits in the dark and cries when he couldn't save someone with AIDS."
"I suppose that's why Roger wanted Ed to head up the Institute. Roger is a pragmatist who believes everyone can be cured from every disease. EVERY problem has a solution with NO exceptions. Ed is the same way. When a patient dies, he blames himself...just as Roger would if he had the medical skills Ed possesses. Neither of them can accept failure...nor will they accept the fact that death occurs every second of every minute and NO ONE can live forever!"
"What do you think I should do?"
"I've never been one to sweep a problem under the carpet and forget about it...and you've worked with me long enough to know, I always face any dilemma straight on! I'm not saying that Ed or the Institute should shirk away from Andy's diagnosis, but my immediate thought is to send Andy to a hospital, perhaps the same one where Lance Armstrong was cured and see if they can handle the situation better. I know to Ed that will seem like, just 'giving up', but Andy is just like the U.S. motto on the dollar bill...he's one from many and Ed has hundreds of other patients which he must attend to. I'm not being cruel, but realistic, Ed can't devote his work twenty-four/seven on Andy."
"You know Andy has no insurance."
"And you should know, Andy doesn't need insurance or should have to worry about medical expenses as long as there's a Roger Cole in this world."
"You think Roger would send Andy to Lance Armstrong's specialists?"
"As much as I believe Barbara Cook will be the soprano soloist in the heavenly choir when her time comes."
"I've always loved your analogies," Chris said, smiling for the first time since he began his conversation with Cliff.
"Let me talk to Roger and there is no one who has more power of persuasion on earth than he. Let him convince Ed that it's Ed's idea to send Andy to the specialists. You've seen Roger in action. He could convince Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson to be the grand marshal in a gay pride parade before they could say no."
"Thanks, Cliff."
"Let's let the specialists use their skills while you and I use ours with a higher power. Then if it's God's will for Andy to get better..."
"You know I pray nightly that God will make me one-tenth of the priest that you are."
"That's nonsense. Roger is my right hand in life...and you, my good friend, are my right hand at St. Genesius...and don't ever forget it! Now, come here and let me give you a hug and see if I can put a smile on your face."
"You already have, Cliff."
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Johnny arrived at the center at 9:00AM the morning after the evening he had spent with Alan. To Johnny's surprise, Alan was outside the center waiting for him. Johnny parked his car and called out to Alan.
"Good morning."
"Morning, Johnny!"
"Do I detect a cheerfulness in Alan's greeting?" Johnny thought to himself. "I didn't expect to see you this soon." Johnny said to him. "Is anything wrong?"
"That's not the question," Alan replied. "You should be asking if anything's right?"
"Oh?"
"Uh huh."
"OK. Is anything right?"
"Physically? No. Nothing has changed. But, emotionally, I'm not the same person you met yesterday."
"Am I playing 'Twenty Questions'? I think I've used up two, I have eighteen more to find out what's going on, or do you just want to tell me?"
"If you're thinking that Scott and I had a knockdown, drag-out fight after you left and I wound up killing him, you'd better use up your remaining eighteen questions."
"You're not suggesting that you two guys got along, are you?"
"You're getting warmer. Seventeen to go!"
"Don't tell me that you hit if off?"
"'DING!' You win the prize! Please select anything from the chalk dolls on the bottom row!"
"My GOD! Are you serious!"
"Serious as a flat line in an emergency room."
"Are you gonna tell me what happened or am I gonna stand outside all day and pee in my pants while I'm waiting."
"I won't go into all the details, but I found that I had a friend in Scott. You must've suspected something or you wouldn't have arranged our living together."
"Well, when I place two people together, I always do it with hope in my heart, but my placements are not always successful."
"I guess I owe you a big 'thanks'!"
"No, you don't. I was just doing my job."
"Well, now that I'm here. what kind of job do you want me to do?"
"You mean you really want to help at the center?"
"That's why I'm here before the crack of noon! You WERE serious when you asked me to help, weren't you?". Alan's voice had an almost fearful note--a fear of rejection?
"Yes, but never in a million years would I believe that..."
"Don't say it! I'll admit to being an asshole yesterday. I've had lots of practice. I've been an asshole all my life."
"You said it, I didn't." Johnny said, "But why the 'Jekyll-Hyde' sudden change?"
"I don't like the 'Jekyll-Hyde' analogy. I'd prefer, 'Pinocchio', before and after the Blue Fairy hit him on his head with her wand."
"You know, seeing the reversal from yesterday's attitude, I'd almost believe that the Blue Fairy DID pay you a visit last night!"
"Well, my magic fairy wasn't blue, and I don't think he'd like me calling him a fairy, but he is Italian. Does that count?"
"Immeasurably, Alan! Immeasurably."
Alan's face beamed with a broad grin. Johnny was still in a semi-state of disbelief.
"Come on in, 'Pinocchio', and let's see what we have to do today."
"Can I make one phone call first?"
"Be my guest. You'll be making a lot of phone calls today."
"This one's kinda special."
"Oh, then, let me go to the back and make some coffee so that you can talk in privacy."
"Thanks, Big Johnny!"
"'Big Johnny'? What the fuck happened?" Johnny asked himself. "I got to find out if he changed his depression medication." Johnny busied himself, filling the cup dispenser, the sugar and cream bowls. The remaining staff at the center didn't arrive until ten o'clock. Each day, it was one of the worker's responsibility to bring pastries or doughnuts. Johnny's volunteer staff consisted of three young guys, Hunter, Bradley, and Hamilton, all from good families, all with the same story of why they were no longer living at home. all from the same upper-class social status, plus two girls, Cate and Marge, who were Lesbian lovers before they moved to Mackintosh.
Meanwhile, Alan anxiously dialed the phone, which rang six times before Scott answered.
"Hello?" Scott said, yawning.
"Hi, it's me!" Alan said, with kid-like excitement.
"Alan? Where are you?"
"I'm down at the center with Johnny."
"I didn't hear you get up, much less, leave. How did you get down there?"
"I walked."
"My God, don't YOU feel good this morning!!"
"I feel great!"
"I'm glad."
"How do YOU feel?"
"Jesus! I don't know. I never awaken until noon."
"Are you awake enough to remember last night?"
"Hmm...yes?"
"Did you mean everything you said?"
"I always mean what I say. I mean, if I said it, I meant it! But what in particular are you referring to?"
"About being there for me...caring about me. You remember holding me while we went to sleep?"
"Yeah, I remember all of that."
"Well, did you mean it--really?"
"Yes, little guy, put your mind at ease. I meant everything."
"Gosh, I'm so glad. I've been to bed with so many guys who were willing to say they loved me in the night time, but the next day, they acted like they didn't know me."
"I've known a few of those in my lifetime, myself. But, like you, I was always on the losing end. This time, I think, neither you nor I are."
"Would you believe I feel all glowy inside?"
"Yes. Now that I'm more awake and listening to your voice, I'm feeling the same sensation."
"For real?"
"For real!"
"You wanna do something or go somewhere tonight?"
"I have to work. You could come down to the Puff and spend the evening with me."
"Just try and keep me away! I'll be there tonight and tomorrow night, and the night after that until you get tired of seeing me."
"I don't think there's much chance of that happening."
"You remember that we didn't have sex?"
"Yes."
"Are you sorry?"
"No, not really."
"Me, too."
"Alan, I should set you straight about that. Sex is not important to me. I don't care if our relationship ever progresses to that point. If it happens, it happens, but only IF and WHEN you're ready. If it's NEVER, then so be it."
"You said, 'relationship'? Are we having one?"
"I suppose---at least, I hope so."
"I've never been in one before. I know that you have. You're much more experienced with relationships than I'll ever be."
"What's past is past."
"I guess what I'm getting at, is, can two people have a close relationship without having sex?"
"Many guys here in Mackintosh love each other and never have any kind of sex...and they're happy."
Alan paused before he was brave enough to continue.
"You said, 'many guys love each other'? Do you think two people could fall in love after one night together?"
Scott's deep voice said softly, "It's been known to happen."
"Well, do you...do you have any strong feelings toward me, after last night?"
"Are you asking if I'm in love with you?"
"Well, kinda."
"Let me toss the ball back into your court. Do you think you love me?"
"I guess it's cowardly of me to be having this discussion over the phone...you know, NOT in person."
"You didn't answer me. Do you think you love me?"
"It's difficult for me to answer when I've never been in love before. I don't know how love feels. I just know I have this feeling this morning, unlike anything I've ever felt before."
"What does it feel like? Can you describe it?"
"As soon as I heard your voice, I felt all jittery inside, like my stomach was pushing up against my lungs and I had trouble breathing. Have you ever had that feeling?"
Pause. "Yes, a couple of times." Scott answered, seriously.
"Was that love?"
"Well...yes."
"Then--I guess I love you."
The pause before Scott replied, made Alan nervous, anxious, and fearful. Alan had never said those words before. He knew he had taken a big risk and had set himself up for a big letdown.
"Well, since you put it that way, I guess I love you, too."
Scott's quiet reply was all it took for Alan to burst into tears of joy.
"I wish I were there with you, right now." Scott's voice was filled with warmth.
"We'll have tonight after I get off work...and tomorrow night... and the next night! A whole lifetime if you want it!"
"Scott, for the first time since I got sick, I DON'T want to die. I don't want YOU to die. I want us to have a long life together."
"Being realistic, we may not have a long life together, but that doesn't mean that we can't make every moment count. We can make every moment memorable. You've never known happiness and I haven't been happy in many years. I think we both deserve to make some happy memories."
"Lots of them!" Alan wanted to shout, but his voice was just above a whisper. "Now you go back to sleep and get the rest that you need. We're gonna start taking better care of ourselves. I want to talk with Johnny about some of the new treatments available to us."
"I'm not too hip when it comes to taking new drugs or going through new treatments."
"I felt the same way, but that was before I met you. Now I'm ready to try anything to prolong our life together."
"I'm not promising, but I'll say I'm willing to investigate the new treatments with you."
"That's all I'm asking. Now will you go back to sleep?"
"After all that's happened between us on the phone, I may have to jack off first, to relax myself."
"Go ahead, do it twice, but, by God, you'd better be fantasizing about me!"
"You're the only guy in my life."
"God, I love hearing you say that!" Joy filled his heart, overflowing into his voice.
"I love saying it."
"Well, good night...or good day...or...whatever!"
"Good night, little guy."
"I love you."
"And I love you."
Alan burst into tears again when he placed the receiver back on the phone. Johnny returned, carrying two cups of coffee in one hand and balancing sugar and cream packets in the other. He was slightly startled when he saw Alan standing by the phone, his shaking shoulders telegraphing that he was crying.
"Jesus, Alan! What's wrong?" Johnny said, setting down the coffee in a hurry.
Alan wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks.
"You asked the wrong question again, Johnny."
"Pardon?"
"Ask me what's RIGHT!" Alan said, his face beaming with a smile.
"Were you talking to your parents...or to Scott?"
"Scott...my lover."
Alan's reply made Johnny feel weak in the knees.
"Alan, I...what do you...I mean...when...FUCK! I don't know what I'm saying."
"You looked as shocked as I feel, Johnny."
"That's putting it mildly."
"Johnny, I want you to help me and Scott!"
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to contact the Cole Institute and find out about some new medications, diets, equipment. machinery, treatments, whatever you can find to get Scott and me well again!"
Johnny was no fool. He could recognize love when he saw it. God knows, he had felt that way when he first realized he had fallen in love with Jeff. He quickly rushed to Alan, put his arms around him, and hugged him genuinely.
"Oh, Alan, I'm so happy for you. You know I'll do everything I can to help you and Scott. EVERYTHING! Just let me get on the phone and the PC and see what I can do."
"Thanks, Johnny," Alan said as he head was nestled into Johnny's neck. "I'm so glad I came here. I'm so glad I met you. You know that old saying, I never knew what it meant until just now."
"What old saying?"
"'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'. That's how I feel...Today IS the first day!"
"With many more to follow, Alan, many more to follow."
The staff at the center had begun to enter and all of them raised an eyebrow to see Johnny hugging some stranger at the start of the day.
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Jeff had been starving just from looking at the feast Johnny had prepared for Alan's visit. When Johnny called to tell him about Alan's dilemma, he was disappointed by Alan's decision not to accept their invitation. He decided to munch on some of the hors d'oeuvres--why not? Johnny had suggested it. To pass the time until Johnny returned home, Jeff began organizing the CD's and DVD's that he had unpacked days earlier. Many of the CD titles reminded him of various friends and of his "brothers". Jay was a huge Streisand fan, while Troy preferred Broadway original cast recordings, especially "The Happy Time", starring Robert Goulet. Any of Mahler's symphonies could bring back memories of Roger and Father Cliff who liked ALL show tunes, particularly those from "Camelot". Dave, Jeff's stepdad, wasn't too educated in the field of music when he moved in with Walter, Jeff's real dad. Walter tried several musical venues to see if Dave had a preference. Dave knew how important music was to the Clayton household, finally settling on Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald. These choices pleased Walter because they were two of his favorites also.
Jeff picked up "Green Dolphin Street" and immediately thought of the star of the show and its conductor, Rob and Timmy. Alex had always liked John Williams' soundtracks...with the huge fanfares and the tense moments like the opening of "Jaws" or the Jedi fight scenes. Ted? What else? He liked marching bands and sports themes. Unfortunately, Jeff and Johnny had none of those in their collection. As for Kyle and Ryan, they always liked dreamy mood music, which they had probably used to underscore their own private bedroom scenes, Jeff thought with a smile.
Walter taught Jeff how to achieve a natural high when he first talked with his sons about drugs. He had used various recordings to demonstrate how a song, a tune, a melody, could change your mood, better than any drug, and transport your mind to different places and times. A line of a song could remind anybody of a certain person, or a special place when you first heard it. Although it had nothing to do with the sea or ocean, Walter had turned out the lights and played Ravel's "Daphnis and Chloe Suite No.2" and told Jeff to close his eyes and imagine he was lying on the shore at Big Sur, listening to the waves crash on the rocky shoreline. Jeff did as his father suggested, and indeed, he felt he was in California and the movement of the ocean waves was real to him. When the piece finished, Jeff wanted his dad to show him more...let him be transported to other places. Walter was delighted that his experiment had worked on Jeff, just as it had on his older son, Alex.
Walter changed CD's and played the same game, but this time it had different rules. He wanted Jeff to listen to the music first and later tell him what place or person it reminded him of. The CD was the opening theme of Bernard Hermann's final score, "Taxi Driver". In the opening bars, a saxophone wailed mournfully, playing with the melody until it decided to reach a climax. Then the music faded out.
"Where were you?" Walter asked Jeff.
"Dad, that was too easy, I was on a back street somewhere in New York. It was night; the streets were wet from the falling rain and the headlights reflected in the puddles of water on the pavement."
"I couldn't've described it better, son."
"Can we do it again?"
"Yes, but I want you to learn to do it by yourself. Pick out some CD or LP that you're unfamiliar with, close your eyes and see where it takes you."
"I will, Dad."
"What I'm trying to say, Jeff, is that whenever you're feeling angry, sad, perplexed, or whatever, if you want to get away from that feeling, don't reach for marijuana, coke, or any other substance---play some music instead. I promise you that you can make things better without having a hangover or drug reaction."
"Gee, Dad, I bet if other dads took the time to show their kids what you've just shown me, the illegal drug business would go down a lot."
"I proved my point. Maybe other parents won't show their kids what you've just learned, but you know all about it, and you can tell them about a 'musical high'."
"I will, Dad, I promise." Jeff said, smiling, but quickly added, "Does Alex know about this?"
"Oh, yes, Your brother has told me about going to Paris, Rome...he told me that a couple of times he had gone to San Francisco and Hollywood and had taken Ted with him!"
"Just by listening to music?"
"It's cheaper than a plane ticket!"
That little anecdote about his dad and "musical travel" had stayed with Jeff all his life. Jeff had nearly driven his schoolmates insane, trying to get them to come home with him to listen to music.
Jeff smiled as he placed, "Daphnis and Chloe" on his shelf.
It was nearly midnight before Johnny came home. Jeff met him at the door with the usual hug-and-kiss welcome. Johnny hurried to the oven to check on his uneaten dinner he'd prepared and began retrieving a multitude of covered dishes and placing them on trivets on the dining table.
Jeff was too hungry to talk. He listened all through the meal, while Johnny told him about the evening he'd spent with a very depressed Alan. They piled all the dirty dishes into the sink until tomorrow, and covered the leftovers with foil before putting them into the refrigerator. Then Jeff put his arm around his lover and walked with him into the bedroom. The two of them undressed slowly and quietly got into the bed together. They were both too exhausted from the long night to do anything more than a quick goodnight kiss, but that was enough to reassure each, settling down for a night's rest.
Johnny left for work the next morning around 8:45, hoping against hope that Alan would be at the center some time today. Jeff washed last night's dishes and walked to the church for his morning mail and phone calls. Jeff felt he was now well-known among the Mackintosh residents and it wasn't necessary to wear a clerical collar unless it was required for him to act in an official capacity, Jeff was "Jeff"; on weekdays at the church, he wore jeans and t-shirts. If clothes doesn't make the man, they sure as hell couldn't make a priest either.
He decided that his special chore of the day would be to dust and polish the pulpit, the lectern, the altar, and the communion rail. He went to the closet and gathered all the brushes, bottles, rags, buckets, and aerosol containers of cleansers and wax, all the things he would need to do the job. He washed, rubbed, and polished for nearly two hours. He had worked up a sweat, pausing every now and then to admire the last spot he'd cleaned. He was pleased with his accomplishment. When his mom had died, it had been Alex's job to do light housecleaning. Jeff had escaped the duty until he was fifteen, then Alex turned over his mops and brooms to his younger brother. So cleaning and polishing were no strangers to Jeff. He'd had plenty of practice.
Jeff was so busy with the last details of the altar, he hadn't noticed a figure that had entered the church and was standing on the congregation's side of the rail.
"Excuse me..." the voice said, slightly startling Jeff.
"I'm sorry. I didn't see you." Jeff said, warmly. Jeff took a long look at the person standing there, looking so young, so alone. He was no one that he'd seen at mass, or anywhere in the neighborhood, for that matter. "Is there something I can do for you?"
"I'm looking for the priest. Do you know if he's around?" The young man's voice had a southern sound.
"Look no further, my friend."
"Pardon?"
"I'm Father Clayton...Father JEFF Clayton...well, I'm Father Jeff to everyone who lives around here." Jeff stuck out his hand to the stranger.
"Pleased to meet you, Father," he said, taking Jeff's hand. "I'm Mike, Michael Hanley."
"Glad to know you, Michael."
"Mike, please."
"OK...Mike!"
Jeff waited for the young man to say something as a pregnant pause ensued, filling the space between them.
"Do...do you live in Mackintosh, Mike?"
"No."
"I didn't remember seeing you before."
"I only arrived this morning."
"Are you seeking shelter or housing?"
"Oh, no, thank you."
"Then, do you have business with someone here?"
"I hope so. My brother lives here."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Vince...Vincent Hanley. Do you know him?"
"I wish I could answer your question but we have certain rules of privacy and we can't give out information about any of our residents."
"I know all that. I just thought maybe you knew him. I haven't heard from him in over a year and neither my folks nor I know if he's alive or dead."
"I see. Without revealing that we have a resident named Vince, did he ever write you from here?"
"I used to get a letter once a month, but then they stopped. I'm afraid he's dead."
"Do you mind if I ask how old you are, Mike?"
"Sixteen."
"That's how I knew you weren't a resident. We have no one living here your age."
"Well, if Vince is dead, what would be the harm in telling me now?"
"None, I suppose, but if he were still a resident, then..."
"I know."
"Did you drive to Mackintosh?"
"I don't have a license. I hitch-hiked."
"From where?"
"Alabama...Dothan, Alabama."
"Good heavens, how long did it take you?"
"I left home about eight days ago."
"Did you eat? Where did you sleep?"
"I had some stuff to eat in my suitcase. I had over a hundred dollars when I left home. I used some of it to buy food, but I've still got most of it left."
"Have you had breakfast?"
"No,"
"When did you eat last?"
"'Bout noon yesterday."
"Come with me," Jeff ordered and led Mike into his office.
Jeff had made his lunch from the leftovers in the fridge. He now pulled out the dish and placed it in the microwave.
"Please sit at my desk. while I warm you something to eat."
"Thank you." Mike said with a touch of wonder, sitting himself in Jeff's leather chair.
The microwaved dinged and Jeff brought the plate of food to the desk, along with plastic spoons, forks, and knives.
"You want milk? Coffee? Soda?
"Could I have a glass of water?"
"With or without ice?"
"Without, please."
Jeff watched as Mike devoured the entire plate of leftovers, even sopping the plate with a piece of bread. Then he looked up at Jeff.
"That was great!"
"Did you have enough?"
"More than enough!"
"Do you feel better?"
"Well, kinda...and kinda not..."
"Oh? Anything else I can get for you?"
"No, no, I'm full. It's just that...that...I feel bad about lying to a priest. I mean, it's like telling a fib to God."
"You lied? About what? All of it?"
"No, most of what I told you is the truth. I'm from Alabama, I DO have a brother Vince. I AM sixteen years old, but what I said about my folks is a lie."
"What do you mean, Mike?"
"Momma died two weeks ago. My dad, well, he ran off shortly after I was born. Momma never heard from him again."
"Do you have more brothers or sisters?"
"Nope---just Vince.
"He lived with Momma and me until he got a job in Birmingham and then he moved out. He sent me money pretty regular. Momma got a pension from the government. Vince wrote me every week and then one morning he came by the house. It was real early in the morning...about three A.M.. He didn't want Momma to know he was there, but that's when he told me he was sick with something and he was going away until he got well. That's when I started getting his letters from Mackintosh. When Momma died, I was all alone at home, so I decided to look for Vince. I mean, he's the only relative I have left in all the world."
Jeff knew that Mike had lied to him earlier, so it became a matter of trying to decipher whether what he was saying now was truth or fiction. But it was possible that everything Mike had said just now was all true.
"Well, until I can find out a few things, I can't tell you about Vince. I can't see your leaving here without finding out what you came for. You don't have a place to stay tonight, do you?"
"No, I've been sleeping on the ground, not too far from the road."
"That won't do. If I discover that your brother DOES live here, he'd raise hell if I let you go without transportation or a place to stay."
"If Vince is not here, I don't know where to go. Momma was several months behind in the rent and the only reason that they let her stay there was because the landlord knew that she had cancer and was going to die soon."
Jeff suddenly believed Mike and his story. He walked to him and placed a hand on each of Mike's shoulders and looked into his eyes compassionately.
"You've had it pretty rough, huh?"
"I made out!", the youth said with a false bravado.
"Since you don't have other plans, would you like to spend the night at my house tonight? I have a 'roommate', I guess you'd call him, but I'm sure he won't mind."
"That'd be great."
"AND you could bathe, wash your hair, and toss your clothes in the washer. Then, when my roommate gets home, he'll fix us a big dinner. Whaddya say?"
"I'd like to say, 'yes', only I hope you won't hold it against me for lying to you."
"Mike, there's a difference between lying and hiding the truth. You just hid the truth about your Momma's death. I don't consider that lying."
"Well, you're a priest and if YOU say I wasn't lying, then I wasn't!"
"Now, I have work to do, so why don't you plop yourself on the big couch over there and get some sleep until I'm ready to go home this afternoon."
"Thanks. I AM tired."
"Slip your shoes off and I'll get something to cover you with."
Jeff went to the linen closet and got a white altar cloth which was used under the tapestry. He returned to place it over Mike, who had already fallen asleep. Jeff smiled and left his office. He went back to the main sanctuary to use his cell phone which he had left there. He pressed the speed button and called Johnny.
"Center for life," Hunter answered.
"Is this Bradley?" Jeff asked.
"No, it's Hunter, Would you like to speak with Brad?"
"This is Father Jeff."
"Hi, Father!"
"Is Johnny nearby."
"He's with the new guy."
"Oh, that would be Alan."
"Yeah, do you know him?"
"No, not yet, I would like to talk to Johnny, though."
"OK. JOHNNY!! PHONE!"
"Hello?"
"Hi, babe. how's it going down there? I hear Alan came to see you. How is he?"
"Wait just a sec--let me go to the phone in my office."
Jeff waited patiently for Johnny to pick up the other phone.
"Now!" Johnny said, sighing heavily.
"How's Alan?"
"Honey, it's unlike anything I've ever seen."
"What do you mean?"
"It will take hours to fill you in on all that's happened, but it would appear that 'true love hit Andy Hardy'!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I'll explain later, but Alan and Scott...well, they came to some kind of understanding between them."
"Oh?"
"Alan says that they're in love!"
"Holy shit! Do you believe him?"
"By the way his attitude has changed since I left him last night, it wouldn't surprise me if the two of them spent the whole night fucking each other's brains out!"
"Jesus!"
"Did you have any reason to call, other than getting me to tell you that I love you? I do, you know!"
"And I love you, Dolly Levi!"
"Maybe not all marriages are made in heaven."
"You can say that again! Sweetheart, I want you to do me a favor."
"You want me to leave the center and come to the church and give you the blowjob I was too tired to give to you last night?"
"Hold that thought!" Jeff laughed. "I want you to look in your PC and see if the name Vincent Hanley pops up. He might be or might HAVE BEEN a resident here."
"Hold on and I'll look...."
Jeff heard Johnny's keyboard clicking and then a pause. Finally, Johnny came back to the phone.
"You said 'Vincent Hanley'?"
"Yes."
"Would that be 'Vince Hanley'?"
"Probably."
"Well, I'm sorry, babe, but according to the data the residents gave me to put in my computer, Vince Hanley WAS a resident here, but he died almost a year ago."
"Oh, my God! Shit! Shit! Shit!"
"What gives? Who's Vince Hanley?"
"I just asked his kid brother to spend the night at our house."
"What!!?"
"Oh, what a fucking mess!"
"He didn't know that his brother was dead?"
"No more than I did."
"You said, 'kid brother'. How old is he?"
"Sixteen."
"Oh, boy!"
"Johnny, their mother died sometime last week and having no other family members, this kid, Mike, set out on his own and hitch-hiked from Alabama to New Hampshire to be near his brother, Vince."
"Good God, Jeff! Are you gonna tell him?"
"I suppose I'll have to, but I'll wait until you're home with me. I told him you'd make him a nice dinner."
"That's the least I can do."
"And, well...after that...we'll see..." Jeff said. His voiced sounded worried and it worried Johnny as well.
<><><><><><><>
"Hey, Buddy Boy! You ready to go hiking in the fir trees?" Alex yelled.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ted asked.
"Dr, Loomis! He just wrote an order to discharge you!"
"Are you for real?"
"I saw him write it on your chart!"
"Does he think I'm ready?"
"Tommy, your physical therapist, thinks so."
"It's just that I thought I'd be in the hospital for another month or so."
"Dr. Loomis arranged for you to continue your therapy in Montpelier."
"I thought that was in Vermont."
"It is, but it's just a step and a jump from Mackintosh, New Hampshire."
"But do we have a place to live?"
"Jeff took care of that. Our new house is sitting there waiting for us in Mackintosh."
"But what about our things in Los Angeles?"
"As soon as we're settled in New Hampshire for a couple of days, I'm gonna fly to L.A. and pack everything, lock, stock, and trophies!"
"Do you think you'll be able to handle things by yourself?"
"Sweetheart, if I can handle you, a few boxes of junk won't be any problem. Now, let's see you get up and walk a bit."
"OK. But stay close. I don't want to break anything else."
Slowly Ted swung his legs off the bed until his feet touched the floor.
"You want your crutches or your canes?"
"Canes, please."
Alex handed Ted two rubber-tipped wooden canes which he used to stabilize his body.
"Gangway, world, here I come!" Ted announced as he slowly moved his right foot forward, taking his first step. When he felt steady, he moved his left foot ahead of the right, while both his hands applied his body weight onto the canes.
Alex marveled at Ted's progress, but Alex was not alone in the cheering section. Tommy, the therapist, had entered the room with an RN and a nurse's aide, followed by Dr. Loomis. They all began to chant quietly, "Go! Go! Go, Ted, Go!"
As Ted proceeded across his hospital room, the chant became louder. When he finally reached the door, the end of his short journey of self-discovery, everyone in the room burst into a huge applause. Alex ran to hug him and kissed his cheek.
"How was that?" Ted asked, beaming.
"Listen to the roar of the crowd! You did famously!" Alex exclaimed.
Ted looked at Dr. Loomis who was standing there proudly. "Do you think I'm ready, Doc?"
"With someone like Alex at your side, you could jump hurdles!!" Dr. Loomis said to him.
"He's pretty special, huh, Doc?", Ted said, looking at Alex, who dropped his head in embarrassment.
"If the world had more Alex's in it, I could go gay myself."
"Hunh unh! There's only one Alex and he's already taken." Ted replied to his doctor.
Everyone finally left and Ted and Alex were alone, lying in bed together.
"Is everything arranged for tomorrow?" Ted asked.
"Yep. I booked us a flight from Boston to Montpelier at 11:30. I called Jeff and he and Johnny are supposed to meet us at the Vermont airport and drive us to Mackintosh from there."
"This move excites you, doesn't it, Alex?"
"Yes, in more ways than one. It's like starting a new chapter in life with someone you've always loved. We can start fresh."
"And spend MORE TIME with one another?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."
"God, what a fool I was to go off on the road and leave you week after week."
"Oh, I suspect you'll miss your traveling, for awhile at least."
"What's there to miss? Same old teams playing the same old games, watching the same old players begging for money every year doing the same old thing they've done for years...only they're older and can't do the things as well. Welcome to the world of professional sports! Then, after the games, going to the same tired expensive hotels and buying late meals at outrageous prices. No, baby, I don't think I'm going to miss it at all."
"I've never heard you talk about sports and your career that way," Alex said, wonderingly.
"I told you, babe, I've changed...and I'm glad."
"God, Ted, I love you so much,"
"I don't deserve it."
"Like hell you don't! Kiss me. I'll stay on the bed with you until you drop off to sleep."
"Do you think that tomorrow night we might be able to...you know...in our brand new home?"
"Probably. I'll try to think up some physical maneuvers that could be therapeutic in your recovery!"
"Such as?"
"That's my little secret. Let's just say you'll be very, very tired when you go to sleep tomorrow night!!!"
"Now I won't be able to sleep tonight for thinking about tomorrow night!"
"Let me see what I can do to help. First, I turn off these lights." Alex turned off all the lights except for a nightlight beneath Ted's bed. "Now if you'll take off that goddamned hospital gown...like this." He removed Ted's dotted green gown, "And finally, if you'll close your eyes, I'll give you a preview of tomorrow night's fare." Ted slowly laid his head on the pillow while Alex positioned himself to perform oral sex on his lover. It was less than a minute before Ted climaxed. Alex arose and kissed Ted's forehead and went over to the fold-out to go to sleep himself.
<><><><><><><>
"Johnny, I want you to meet Mike, Mike Hanley."
"How's it goin' Mike?"
"Fine, Johnny! You're Father Jeff's roommate, right?"
"Is that what he called me, 'his roommate'?"
"Yes."
"Well, I guess that's what I am, then." Johnny said, staring a hole in Jeff. Jeff responded by raising his eyebrows and looking away, trying to cover his discomfiture.
"What would you like me to cook you for supper?" Johnny asked Mike.
"Anything's all right. I sorta like everything."
"Meat and potatoes? Vegetables? Hamburgers and fries?"
"I'll have whatever you and Father Jeff are having."
"Well, Father Jeff," Johnny sneered, "What would YOU like, ROOMIE?"
Jeff turned completely away to keep from bursting into a smile.
"WELL?" Johnny insisted.
Jeff composed himself to say, "Johnny, Mike has been on the road for eight days and I don't suppose he's had a decent meal, so why don't you broil some steaks, bake potatoes, and I'll see if you will trust me enough to toss a salad."
"How does that sound to you, Mike?" Johnny asked.
"Sounds great. Momma and me couldn't afford steaks. When we had meat, it was mostly ground hamburger." Mike replied.
"Mike, while Johnny and I cook, why don't you go into the bathroom and shower or take a long soak in the tub and I'll call you when everything's ready?"
"I think I'd like that. I know I stink."
"Well, there's some deodorant soap by the tub and a bottle of shampoo. I'll get you some towels and you can be alone for thirty minutes or so." Jeff said.
Jeff got the towels and showed Mike the bathroom and left him there while he returned to the kitchen to join Johnny.
"ROOMMATE? Why did you tell him that?" Johnny asked, halfway jesting.
"Well, it was better than referring to you as my personal cocksucker!"
"Just for that, I won't suck your cock tonight!"
"That's OK. I'd rather fuck you instead!"
"Asshole!"
"Yep, that's what I had in mind." Jeff joked.
Johnny turned and put his arms around Jeff's neck. "I...didn't think it proper, as a roommate, to say I love you in front of our guest, but I can say it now."
"Go ahead, I'm waiting."
"I love you, Father Jeff Clayton, more than life itself."
"And I love you, you big bozo."
They kissed.
"Did you, uh, tell Mike about his brother?"
"No, I was waiting for you to get home. I think he's gonna take the news hard."
"I think so, too. My God, where will he go?"
"You're always the 'miracle' social worker, Miss Sullivan!"
"No more than you."
They kissed again.
"Do you think he could stay with us a few days?" Jeff asked.
"I was thinking the same thing."
"You wouldn't get mad?"
"Jesus, Jeff, that's how we spend our lives...helping people. God knows, if he doesn't need our help who does?!"
"Let's talk to him after we break the news to him about Vince."
"All right, but wait until he's eaten."
"OK, kiss me once more before you start cooking."
They kissed once more, but this time, longer and more meaningfully.
<><><><><>
Dinner conversation was left to a minimum while Jeff and Johnny watched Mike gobble his meal.
"Ready for dessert, sport?" Johnny asked Mike.
"Sure! That steak was delicious!"
"Glad you enjoyed it," Johnny said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go get the pièce de résistance!"
"The what?" Mike asked, wide-eyed.
"The dessert, Mike. Johnny likes to pretend he can speak French." Jeff joked.
"Is that word he said--is that French for dessert?"
"Well, kinda."
Johnny was in the kitchen dipping out bowls of ice cream and covering them with cooked cherries. Next he covered the cherries with brandy and lit them before bringing them to the table."
"Good Lord! That stuff's on fire!" Mike exclaimed when Johnny sat one of the flaming dishes in front of him.
Johnny and Jeff laughed. "Blow it out, Mike!" Jeff told him.
"This ain't my birthday." Mike said, blowing out the lighted brandy. "What is this stuff, anyway?"
"It's what Johnny calls, 'mock cherries jubilee'!"
"It's French," Johnny added.
"Oh! I just never seen ice cream burn before."
"I poured brandy over it and lit it with a match."
"You mean liquor?"
"Yes, but all the alcohol is burned out of it."
"You sure? I mean, Momma would've whooped me good if I ever drank alcohol before I was eighteen."
"Trust me, Mike, the alcohol is all gone." Johnny assured him.
When Mike tasted the first bite, he didn't stop eating until the entire dessert was finished.
"Want some more?" Johnny asked.
"IS there more?"
"Here, take mine, Mike," Jeff said, offering his dessert dish to him.
Mike took the bowl and it was empty in only a matter of minutes.
"Gosh, that was good!"
"Mike, can we talk for a few minutes?" Jeff asked, seriously.
"Sure."
"Do you have any family in Alabama?"
"Not since Momma died."
"How about friends? Did you have any close family friends?"
"Nope. There was no one to come to Momma's funeral, so I didn't have one. The county came and took her body and buried it somewhere."
"Didn't you have any school friends?"
"Nope, I quit school when I was thirteen."
"No best friend? Not even a girlfriend?"
"Nope, I never had a best friend, let alone, a girlfriend."
"You never had a date?"
"Good Lord, no! I didn't have the money to go out on a date."
Jeff hesitated before asking his next question.
"How about sex?"
"Huh?"
"Did you ever have sex with anyone?"
"This is kinda embarrassing. I sorta had sex one time, but I don't think it counted though?"
"Was it with someone that you knew?"
"Well, yeah."
"Are you still friends with her?"
"Well, it wasn't a her..."
"All right, this guy that you 'kinda' had sex with...is he someone that lives close to you back home?"
"Not exactly..."
"Did he move away?"
"Yeah."
"Do you know where he is now?"
"Nope!"
"Forgive us for prying into your private life this way," Johnny said, "It's just that Jeff and I are trying to find some place for you to go. You know, to be with somebody you're familiar with."
"That's why I hitch-hiked up here looking for Vince." Mike said, then he looked straight at Johnny, "Do you know if he lives here in Mackintosh?"
"I...uh...I'm not sure, Mike. Jeff and I have only lived here a short while and we haven't met all the residents yet," avoiding the truth for the moment.
"Father Jeff, I lied to you once today already and I think I just did it again."
"What do you mean, Mike?" Jeff asked.
"This is kinda hard for me to say."
"Take your time, but speak the truth."
"Well, that sex thing I was referring to, well, it happened about a year ago."
"And?"
"Gosh, I'm too embarrassed to say this out loud."
"What is it, Mike? Why is it so bad to talk about?"
"That night that Vince came by to say goodbye to me...well, we did more than say goodbye."
"You had sex with Vince?"
"Just one time."
"Would you mind telling us what you did with Vince?"
"Well, first of all, I ain't no girl, but Vince had sex with me like I was one."
"You mean he entered you from behind?"
"Yeah."
"Do you remember if he wore a condom...a rubber?"
"What for? He couldn't get me pregnant! Men can't have babies!"
"Then he didn't use one?"
"Nope. It only lasted a few minutes."
"Mike, answer me carefully, please. Did Vince climax inside you?"
"Yeah, and it took nearly an hour to clean myself out after he left."
Jeff and Johnny stared at one another, each one reading the other's thoughts. Vince came by to see his brother on his way to Mackintosh. He knew he had AIDS, but that didn't stop him from infecting his kid brother.
'Damn! How cruel the world can be at times!', Jeff thought. 'This kid is like so many. For every three Americans who are HIV positive, one is completely unaware that he's infected'.
A stilled silence hovered in the room as no one dared to say a word. It was like the ending of the second act in a three act drama.
<><><><><><><><><>
(To be continued in "Briarwood"----BOOK-FIVE-chapter-fifty-two.)