Briarwood

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.

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"BRIARWOOD"

Copyright Ritchris, 2005

aka "Whence Cometh My Help"

Copyright Ritchris, 2002

Revised Version

A dramatic saga

by

Ritch Christopher

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BOOK FIVE

"FATHER JEFF"

Chapter Forty-eight

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Everything must change. Nothing stays the same. Everyone must change. No one stays the same.

The young become the old and mysteries do unfold 'cause that's the way of time. Nothing and no one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life you can be sure of except rain comes from the clouds; sun lights up the sky; and hummingbirds do fly.

Winter turns to spring. A wounded heart will heal, but never much too soon

Yes, everything must change...

There are not many things in life you can be sure of except rain comes from the clouds; sun lights up the sky; and hummingbirds do fly...

Bernard Ignher, 1974 copyright

Published by Alamo Music Inc.

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The Massachusetts Highway Patrol informed Ted's father, Bruce Baxter, of Ted's accident. Bruce had tried to reach Alex in Los Angeles to no avail. Then he called his old lover and best friend, Walter Clayton to see, by chance, if he knew of his son's whereabouts. Having learned the details, Walter, in turn, called Cliff or Roger and asked if he would mind being the one to relay the news to Alex in Mackintosh. Walter trusted both of them to say the right words to his son in a calm fatherly and pastoral demeanor. Roger was at the Institute checking his mail and voice-mails while he had gone to Mackintosh. So Cliff decided he would call Alex and wait until Roger returned home to relate the tragic news to him.

Jeff answered the phone when Cliff called around 10:30 PM. Rather than having to tell the particulars twice, Cliff asked Jeff if he could speak to Alex.

"Hello?" Alex said.

"Alex?"

"Hi, Father."

"Son, I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad tidings.

"What do you mean?"

"Have you heard from Ted today?"

"No, the last I heard, Ted was in New York."

"He didn't call you from Massachusetts did he?"

"No, you must be mistaken. I think he had to be in Atlanta by tonight."

"Alex, I'm sorry to tell you that Ted was in an auto accident."

"Father, you MUST be wrong. THAT CAN'T BE!"

"I'm afraid so, son."

"WHEN?"

"A few hours ago."

WHERE?"

"Just north of Boston on Interstate 93."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"The details that your dad received from the MHP were rather sketchy, but it seems Ted was forced off the road by an on-coming drunk driver."

"THAT CAN'T BE!"

"The one thing that was positive was that Ted's car flipped over and rolled down an embankment."

"HOW IS HE?"

"That, Alex, is something none of us knows. Apparently, an EMS chopper picked him up and transported him to the Massachusetts Medical Center Trauma Unit in Boston. At the time the patrolman called your dad, Ted was in surgery. I'm leaving on the next flight and I will meet you there."

"OH, MY GOD! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Alex dropped the phone and collapsed to the floor, sobbing. Jeff and Johnny had become more cautious and frightened with each response they heard from Alex's side of the conversation. Johnny made a dash to comfort Alex while Jeff picked up the phone to continue talking with Father Cliff.

"Father? For God's sake, what's happened?"

Cliff relayed the same news to Jeff that he had told Alex.

"Father...?"

"Is he...alive?"

"I don't know, Jeff. I'm sorry that we won't know anything for certain until he gets out of surgery. I told Alex that Roger and I will be leaving ASAP to Boston and I will meet him there. Is Alex all right?"

"He's stunned, like we all are, Father, but don't worry. Johnny and I will go to Boston with him."

"I think that's best, son. He's going to need love and attention until we know how serious Ted's condition is. I'm so grateful that he has you and Johnny to be with. I would imagine that Walter, David, and maybe some of the boys'll fly up, too."

"We'll meet you there!"

"That's fine, Jeff."

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"He's NOT gonna die, is he?"

"I don't know, Jeff."

"I mean, he just CAN'T!" Jeff began to cry in spite of his trying to be brave for his brother. "God won't let this happen, will he?"

"Jeff, you are now a shepherd of your own flock. You know your scripture. God has appointed a time for all persons to die."

"Yeah, but God can't be that cruel to Ted and Alex. I mean, they're both young and are meant to live the rest of their long lives together.." Jeff stopped short when he realized what he had said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so blunt, calling the Almighty cruel."

"Jeff, you wouldn't be the 'Jeff' I know, if you weren't blunt. That's part of your nature."

"What I'm trying to say is..."

"I know what you're trying to say, son, but whatever happens to Ted is out of our control. His fate is in the hands of God and the doctors at the hospital. The best thing you can do is pray. Pray and make things easy as possible for Alex. I'm as concerned as much about him as I am Ted. Alex seemed so depressed when I saw him at your house...and now this?"

"I'll pray, Father and you know I'll take care of my brother. He and Ted are joined as one, the same as Johnny and I. I can't believe that God would let this happen!"

"Jeff, Ted was driving his car, not the Almighty. The guy who forced him off the road was not Satan. He was a human being, the same as us. Well, maybe he was a pitiful human being. We don't know why he was intoxicated. Who knows? Maybe HE had heard bad news about his family or himself and was trying to drown his sorrow in a bottle."

"He was fucking drunk, Father! I can't feel remorse for him."

"Jeff, there's a reason for God's mysterious ways of doing things sometimes. Let's try to be open-minded until we know ALL the details. OK?"

"I'll try, Father, but Ted is NOT gonna die. Did you hear me? God's gonna do the right thing for Ted and Jeff! He's NOT gonna die."

"Jeff, I want you to control your emotions. You have to think straight for both you AND Alex. So be brave like the little tiger you've always been and I'll see you in a few hours."

"OK, Father."

"Could I speak with Johnny?"

"Huh? Sure. Johnny, Father Cliff wants to talk with you."

Johnny took the receiver from Jeff and Cliff briefly filled him in with the details. Cliff wanted Johnny to be the 'rock' of the threesome, as he knew that Alex was not only depressed, but also scared and heartbroken. Jeff, on the other hand, was impetuous in extreme cases of emergency and it would be Johnny's job to hold the fort down until they all arrived in Boston. When he hung up the phone, Johnny took a deep breath to control his nerves and fear.

"What do you think is the quickest and best way to get to Boston?" Johnny asked Jeff.

"I've been thinking about that and I've decided it's time we dipped into Roger's money." Jeff replied.

"What do you mean?"

"This nearest airport is in Montpelier, Vermont. I'd like you to call the airport there and rent a private jet to Boston. The cost doesn't matter!"

"Aye, aye, sir!" Johnny said. "In the meanwhile, you go pack some of Alex's things and throw a change of clothes for each of us in a suitcase. I'll call Larry and tell him what's happened. Why don't you take Alex into the den and pour him a stiff drink?"

Alex was still sitting on the floor, totally oblivious to anything Jeff and Johnny were saying. His crying had ceased. His face was pale and his eyes were in a fixed gaze as if he were in a stupor of some kind.

"Alex," Jeff called gently. "Alex? Are you all right, bro?"

Alex did not reply. Jeff put his arm around his brother and pulled Alex's head into his chest. He kissed him on top of his hair. Jeff was not unaware he was rocking his brother as a mother would her child.

"It's gonna be all right, Alex." Jeff whispered. "The doctors are going to patch him up and he's gonna be glad to see you when we get there. Why, he'll probably sit up and say, 'What the fuck took you so long?'."

Alex was still unresponsive to his brother's touch and words. With Johnny's assistance, Jeff raised Alex to his feet and they led him to the couch in the den to lie down until all plans had been made for the three of them to depart.

It was nearly a three-hour drive to Montpelier where the private jet was fueled and ready for the one hour-plus hop to Boston. At any other time, they would have enjoyed looking at the mountains below them, but their minds were on the gravity of the situation facing them when they landed. Johnny's all conclusive plan included a rented limousine to rush them to the Medical Center.

Alex, being in a state of semi-shock, showed no sign of rushing into the emergency room. Jeff and Johnny mimicked his reticence, for they too, were not in a hurry to hear the worst possible news that could be awaiting them inside the hospital. They had apparently gotten there before Father Cliff, Roger and any others who might be coming from Briarwood.

Johnny had suggested to Jeff to wear his clerical collar for IF the news was bad, the appearance of a priest could cut through a lot of hospital rules and regulations to get to Ted's bedside. Performing the rite of final unction would supersede family visitation to the victim.

The private jet was just a quick jaunt from Montpelier to Boston. The three boys ran to the awaiting limousine and Jeff told the driver he would triple his fare and pay for a speeding ticket if he would get to the hospital at break-neck speed. Money talked and the driver all but flew through the Boston midnight traffic. Jeff didn't look at the limo driver, he just handed three one-hundred dollar bills to him as the three of them ran to the hospital ER entrance.

Johnny went to the admission's desk and spoke to the first nurse in a long line of medical staff sitting behind computers. Johnny made Jeff stand beside him to pull "clerical" strings if necessary.

"Excuse me, Miss," Johnny said to a rather stern looking woman in a white uniform. "This is Father Jeff Clayton. He was summoned to be with a patient, I believe, is on your register here."

"What's the name, please?" she asked, in a business like manner.

"Baxter...Theodore Baxter. He was in an auto accident just north of Boston a few hours ago and we understand he was transported here by chopper."

"One moment, please, while I check." She typed the name in her computer and waited for the proper screen to appear.

"Baxter? Would that be Ted Baxter?"

"Yes, Ted...Theodore...Ted." Johnny nervously replied.

"I see he was immediately taken into surgery upon his arrival. Let's see, that was around 7:30 last night."

Johnny had lost all track of time. He looked at his watch and it was nearly 5:00 AM, so the "last night", which the nurse had referred to, was almost ten hours ago.

"And?" Johnny asked, anxiously.

"It would seem that they doctors completed working on him at three."

"And?"

"If you'll excuse me, let me call post-op and see if he's there."

"Does that mean he's alive?"

"I don't know, sir, until I talk with the nurse in charge," she told him. She turned her back on Johnny in order to speak privately on the phone. Her voice was just above a whisper, making it impossible for Johnny or Jeff to hear what she was saying to the post-op supervisor.

After some mumbling, she turned back to Johnny and the first thing he heard her say was, "I see." There was a pause until she continued, "I, well, yes, I understand. (Pause) Yes. (Pause) Yes. (Pause) Yes, it's just that someone called Mr. Baxter's priest. (Pause) Yes, he's here now at the admission desk."

She held her hand over the mouthpiece of the receiver and looked at Johnny. "Are you related to the patient?"

"Well, yes and no," Johnny replied.

"I see," she said, "Are there any immediate members of Mr. Baxter's family present."

"Yes, he is," Johnny said, pointing to Alex.

"Is he a brother?"

"No, he's Ted's 'significant other'," Jeff interjected.

"Oh," she replied, looking askance at Alex.

"Ma'am, pardon my being blunt, but is Ted alive or not?" Jeff asked, raising his voice for the first time.

"Sir, I'm not allowed to give that information to anyone but immediate family members."

Jeff was losing his cool. "Look, Miss, that gentleman there is Mr. Baxter's gay lover. They've been married for over ten years! I thought this was Massachusetts, a liberal state and home of the Kennedy's! If you have a problem with gay couples not being able to see one another in a time like this, then I'd like to speak with the Administrator of the hospital."

"Sir, the Administrator won't be in until around nine this morning," she said,

"So in the meantime, what do we do for the next four hours? Look, I'm his priest and if Ted needs me, I want someone to take me to him immediately!"

"Sir, we DO have rules."

"Ma'am, I'm afraid that MY Superior supersedes the power of YOUR Administrator. I'm his priest and I demand that you let me see him right NOW!"

"MISS? Would you please call your administrator and tell him that Roger Cole of Cole Institute's adopted son needs to see his priest and his gay lover?"

"Mr. Baxter is Roger Cole's adopted son?"

"Yes, he is and if your administrator doesn't allow Mr. Cole's adopted son the right be to seen by his priest and significant others, I'm sure Mr. Cole will have a few very choice words to say to your administrator!"

"Sir, I will not be blackmailed, nor will my administrator!"

"You wanna keep your job, don't you?" Jeff warned.

Johnny tried to step between Jeff and the nurse and trying to calm his voice down to a lower decibel level. But Jeff, being 'Jeff', made Johnny's actions futile.

"JUST TELL ME...IS HE ALIVE OR ISN"T HE?" Jeff shouted.

"Yes, he's alive."

"THEN, TAKE ME TO HIM, NURSE RATCHED!"

Johnny feared that Jeff's last line had overstepped the boundary of civility, and it would be impossible to get the nurse to cooperate now.

"All right!" She snapped. "YOU can go, as his priest, but no one else can."

"Thank you." Jeff said, a bit calmer. "Now where is he? Which way do I go?"

"You'll need a pass and I'll have one of the attendants to accompany you to the post-op room."

Jeff felt a bit of relief that he had accomplished this much, but looking at his grieving brother, he felt guilty because Alex would not be allowed to go with him.

"Look, bro, I'll go up and see Ted, then come back down as soon as I find out something."

"Go on, Jeff," Johnny said to him, "I'll stay here with Alex. He'll be fine with me."

"He WON'T be fine until he knows about Ted's condition, NONE OF US WILL!"

The time it took for the nurse to write Jeff's pass seemed interminable. Once again, Jeff's impatience reared up.

"You DO write English, don't you?" Jeff attacked her again.

"Sir, as I said, we DO have..."

"RULES!" Jeff said, finishing her sentence for her. "I know all about your fucking rules!"

The nurse stopped writing long enough to give a stern stare at Jeff. "You DO speak in a rather unreligious manner, I must say,"

"Forget how I speak!" Jeff replied, "Would you just write the goddamned pass and get on with it?"

"Using the Lord's name in vain? Is that part of your church's rhetoric?"

"Yes, and sometimes we commit ourselves to physical violence!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Jesus lost his temper in the temple when he threw out the tax collators. If He were here now, he'd have a field day throwing out a bunch of dumb-assed nurses!" Jeff's stare overpowered hers as she handed him the pass. "I do hope your administrator gives you severance pay while you're standing on the unemployment line next week"

"Sir, I WILL NOT be threatened!"

"I'm not threatening you! I merely offering you my condolences while you're looking for a new job."

"Here's your pass...take the damned thing!" She muttered loudly.

"THANKS!" Jeff said, taking the pass out of her hand. "NOW WHERE DO I GO?"

"This way, 'Father'," an orderly said to him, rather snidely.

The elevator from the main floor to the post-op seemed to take longer than the entire flight from Montpelier. When the doors opened, the attendant escorted Jeff down a long hall to the last room on the right.

"Thank you," Jeff told the young male attendant. "I can take it from here. You can go back to your nap now. Sorry if I woke you."

The attendant scoffed at Jeff's sarcasm and left him outside Ted's room. Jeff heaved and took a deep breath before cautiously opening the door.

The room was dark except for a solo light focused on Ted. Jeff slowly walked in and stood beside Ted's bed. Ted's face and head were wrapped like a mummy with gauze and tape. There was a slit opening to make room for the NG tube running into Ted's nose. The tube was covered by a clear oxygen mask covering most of his face. EEG, EKG, wires were attached to Ted's chest and arm. His other arm had an IV going to a plastic bag on a stand beside the head of his bed. Jeff wasn't sure what everything was or did, but there were three machines displaying digital readings on the far side of the bed...one was whirring while another one beeped. Both of Jeff's legs and his right arm were covered in vinyl casts. There was a neck brace on either side of his head to deter movement. Jeff stood there looking aghast at what was supposed to be his brother-in-law.

"At least, he's breathing!" Jeff thought, "He's NOT dead. Thank you, Lord, for that, at least!" he prayed.

Jeff placed his hand on top of Ted's icy hand, which was barely extended from the cast. Ted's hand had a few bruises and cuts, which had been closed by sterile invisible spray bandages. Jeff looked at the monitors. He knew enough about medicine to know that one of them was displaying Ted's blood pressure, his heart, and respiratory rates. Ted's BP was 220/130, pulse: 104 BPM, RSP: 24 XPM. That much Jeff understood. When he ran track in high school, the readings were about average after a long race. But, Ted hadn't run a marathon, He'd just returned from seven hours of surgery and treatment and the elevated readings concerned Jeff.

Jeff didn't turn around to acknowledge the doctor and nurse that entered Ted's cubicle. The nurse immediately started to check the monitor and IV connections. The doctor wrote some kind of progress note in the metal chart he carried. When he finished his writing, he spoke to Jeff.

"Are you his parish priest?"

"Yes," Jeff lied, "and his friend."

"You known him long?"

"We practically grew up together. He and my brother have been almost inseparable since birth."

"I presume your brother was not in the car with him."

"No sir." Jeff explained. "My brother is spending a few days with me in Mackintosh, New Hampshire and Ted, here, was driving up from New York to meet him."

"Lucky for your brother," the doctor said, and then added, "but I guess in your line of work, you don't rely too much on luck."

Jeff tried not to take offense at the doctor's remark and quickly retorted. "No sir, and I don't suppose you rely much on luck either in YOUR line of work."

"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes when I think I'm about to lose a patient, somehow 'luck' gets involved."

"Do you mind telling me how Ted is...I mean the extent of his injuries?"

"Since you're practically family, I'll tell you what I know. 'Ted', as you call him, SHOULDN'T be alive. You can see that he has both legs and one arm broken. The legs are broken in several places. I had to place 14 pins in his left leg and 10 in his right. He has massive damage to his internal organs. I had to remove his spleen and gall bladder. His liver is badly bruised. He had a laceration in his large intestine, which I had to mend. One of his lungs collapsed but fortunately, we were able to inflate it. There was quite a lot of blood pressing into his cranial cavity, but we were able to drain it. Call it 'luck' or fate, but for some reason, his brain did not swell. So, not 'if', but 'when', he regains consciousness, hopefully there will be no sign of brain damage."

"You said, 'when'. Does that mean he's gonna live?"

"We can never be certain in cases that involved as much repair that we had to do on him. The next 24 to 48 hours is the critical period. His vital signs should drop to a more normal level by then and, if so, he should recover. However with the surgery, the pins, and the broken limbs, it's going to take a lot of rehab and physical therapy"

"How much?"

"Anywhere from six months to a year."

"That'll surely put a hold on his career."

"What does he do? We had no one to give a history on him."

"He's a sports journalist...TV, newspapers, sports magazines."

"You mean THE Ted Baxter."

"You just operated on him!"

"My God!" the doctor exclaimed. "I'm a huge fan of his. You can see why I didn't recognize him."

"Well at least you got to see him before you covered him in casts and bandages. I'm sure that when he recovers he'll be YOUR biggest fan."

"The hospital staff will be surprised when they learn we have a celebrity in their midst."

The nurse had departed in the middle of Jeff's conversation with the doctor. They were alone with Ted.

"Doctor, I think our two professions share many things together. Right?"

"Yes, what in particular are referring to?"

"Well, confidentiality...patient/doctor privileged information."

"Yes, that applies to doctors, lawyers, priests...so?"

"Can I ask a favor of you in total confidence?"

"Well, you're not exactly my patient. But as one professional to another, I'm supposed to extend the courtesy."

"Thank you."

"Now what's this favor?"

"What I'm about to tell you, I don't think Ted would mind your knowing, but he would like to keep it a secret from the rest of the hospital staff."

"OK. What is it?"

"You see, Ted is gay."

"That's the secret? I already knew that."

"How, may I ask?"

"I had to examine him from head to toe and when I got to his lower extremities, it was quite obvious he was a participant in anal sex. Either that or he and his girlfriend use toys in their sexplay."

"Well, OK. If you know, you know." Jeff said, a bit exasperated by the doctor's intimate knowledge of Ted. "You see, Ted and my brother, Alex, are a couple. They've been together almost ten years...well really all their lives but only lovers since they were fifteen,"

"That's nice. I'm glad the two of them have had a long relationship."

"You see, Doctor, they're almost ONE person. And Alex is downstairs in the lobby and I would like you to write him a pass. He doesn't know anything about Alex's condition."

"I'll do better than that." The doctor said, "I'll write a doctor's order on Ted's chart stating that your brother be allowed to visit any time he chooses! You said his name is Alex?"

"Yes sir, Alex Clayton."

"Would you like me to phone downstairs and have him escorted up here now?"

"Gee, Doctor, you're terrific. I'd like to see Nurse Ratched's face when you make the call."

"You mean Irene?"

'I don't know what her name is, but I practically had to slug her to let me come up."

"She can be a tough old bird." The doctor joked.

"I thought she was a dyke."

The doctor chuckled. "Anything else I can do for you, Father?"

"If it's not asking too much, as long as you're writing passes on Ted's chart, could you add one more name?"

"And who might that be?"

"My assistant, Johnny."

"A priest's assistant?"

"Well, sorta," Jeff said, almost retreating. "He...uh...he lives with me as my assistant."

"Does he know that you refer to him as your assistant?"

"Hell, no, He'd bust a gasket if he knew I called him that."

"OK, Father. I get the drift. You and your brother have a great deal in common."

"You mean, that we're both gay?"

"You said it, I didn't."

"Oh being gay comes naturally to us?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, our father's gay too."

"Good Lord," the doctor said. "Tell me, is Ted's father gay, too?"

"No, he remarried a female...but before that, he and my dad were..."

"Don't say it! I think I've heard enough for one session. Now what's Johnny's last name?"

"John Kane...Johnny!"

"I'll make sure that the nurses on the floor take notice of the visitors' names on Ted's chart.'

"Doctor, you're a peach!" Jeff said, his childlike quality showing.

"I've never been called that since I became a doctor."

"I didn't mean it as an insult, doctor."

"I didn't take it for one. It just amazed me coming from a priest's mouth."

"Yeah, that's my biggest fault or it has been my whole life. When I think something, I have to say it and many times I've had to suffer the consequences."

"You know, I can believe that. Father."

"Since we're both pros. call me Jeff."

"All right, Jeff. I'm Tom."

"Nice meeting you, Tom." Jeff said, extending his hand.

"You, too, Jeff," The doctor's hand gripped Jeff's. "I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"I sure hope so."

"Tell your brother and your 'assistant', not to bother my patient. Is that a deal?"

"You betcha!"

The doctor left smiling. Five minutes later the door to Ted's room opened and Alex and Johnny entered. Johnny took his place next to Jeff, putting his arm around Jeff's shoulder. Alex went to Ted's bedside and looked at the equipment connected to his lover. Cautiously, Alex placed his hand on top of Ted's.

"Hey, baby," Alex spoke for the first time since he had talked on the phone with Father Cliff. "You're gonna be all right, sweetheart. I love you and I'm gonna be with you when you wake up."

"Come on, Johnny, let's wait outside and let Alex be alone with Ted." Jeff said, taking Johnny's hand.

When they were in the hall, Jeff told Johnny everything the doctor had related to him concerning Ted's prognosis.

"Have Father Cliff, Roger and Bruce arrived yet?"

"Not yet. but I'm sure they'll be here soon. I'm sure Roger rented a private jet just as we did. However, private jets are more accessible in Montpelier than in Briarwood."

"You know, Johnny, it didn't bother me one bit to finally use some of the money Roger gave me. Heck, if Roger stayed in Mackintosh and been with us, he'd probably have bought the plane instead of renting it."

"Roger loves you guys a lot."

"He does and since you're one of the Briarwood boys now, I know he loves you just as much."

"What other billionaire would make sure that all his boys were millionaires out of sheer love for them?"

"Not many, but that's why Roger is 'Roger'. He didn't earn the money in the first place. It was just dropped into his lap when his grandfather died. As a matter of fact, Roger didn't know how much he was worth until my dad examined the probation of the grandfather's will and set up the trust for the estate which Roger inherited. The huge amount embarrassed Roger. He never wanted to be rich or famous. There was only one thing in his life that was important to him...and that was Cliff."

"Wow!"

"Roger wants all of us to stay together with our chosen lover and he never wants us to break up over not having enough to live on. So he had my dad prepare joint accounts for Ryan and Kyle, Troy and Jay and Rob and Timmy, He wasn't sure if Alex would stay with Ted, so he left Alex's and my endowments to us individually. Confidentially, I was Cliff's favorite, so Roger gave me twice as much as any of the others."

"You mean the couples got five million each?"

"Yeah, so did Alex, and I've already told you how much we have in the bank. But that's yours and mine. I told you. I had Dad to put your name on the account years ago."

"I still can't believe that."

"Believe it, baby." Jeff said. "How did it feel to pick up a phone and hire a private jet and pay cash?"

"Amazing, simply amazing!"

"Yeah, it kinda amazed me too. I always thought I'd feel guilty if I ever spent a dime of it, but in this case of emergency, it was necessary and I don't regret it one bit."

"The other night when you told me about the joint account, I lay in bed for hours trying to think what my dad would've said if he knew his 'gay' son had married a multimillionaire."

"You didn't know about the money when you married me."

"No, I'd've married you if you'd been homeless, living in a cardboard box on skid row."

"But I wasn't. I was the son of a millionaire lawyer."

"Yes, but I didn't know that either. The person I fell in love with was a loud-mouthed high school punk who wanted to debate the local Jerry Falwell about the pros of homosexuality. Of course you were kinda good-looking and sexy."

"So you married me for my looks and sex appeal?"

"That had a lot to do with it. But, mainly I fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you are. When I left Briarwood and you didn't hear from me for about a month, I couldn't understand what you saw in me."

"My dad had given me and Alex everything that his money could buy. But all of my dad's money and clout couldn't buy you. Money meant nothing to you. I saw you as a person who would go the last mile to help some lonely kid get more out of life than he thought he deserved. When you left and didn't call, I became jealous of your clients in Somerville. One night I almost decided to disguise my voice and call you at your crisis center and make believe I was going to commit suicide, just so you would talk to me."

"You're kidding? Why didn't you call?"

"I was afraid you'd recognize my voice and would think of me as a phony or some kind of fake and being dishonest is no way to start a relationship...not with the person whom you're in love with, My honesty almost made me lose you."

"Not really. You were in my thoughts the whole time after I left you. Just like, you're still in my thoughts every moment of every day."

"And you're in mine, too, Johnny. We're so lucky to be as happy as we are. That's what I want for Alex and Ted. I thought when Ted arrived in Mackintosh, it'd be like a new beginning for the two of them...then this disaster happened."

"Maybe that's the way your God's mysterious ways work. Maybe that's why Ted was in a car accident. When he recovers, he's gonna need Alex more than ever."

"I thought about that during the flight. I kept hoping and praying that Ted would be all right for his and Alex's sake. I want them to have what we have."

"Maybe they will." Jeff said, smiling at his lover. "You know, I have another thought."

"Uh oh. I cringe when you get that look in your eyes. What is it?"

"Well, the doctor said that Ted's gonna need six months to a year to recuperate."

"And?"

"Why don't we see if Alex and Ted spend the time with us in Macintosh? They wouldn't have to live with us, but Alex could be a great help with you in starting the new center."

"Alex might have different ideas. We shouldn't make plans for him."

"I know, but I can wish, can't I?"

"Yes, and I know to what extreme you'll go to, to get your wish!"

"I wished for you, didn't I? Was that so bad?"

"There have been times..."

"WHEN, for God's sake?"

"Calm down, little guy, I was only kidding. But deep down inside I hope you get this wish, too."

"You'll help?"

"I didn't promise that. I said I liked your idea. I suggest that you talk with Alex about it first and then we'll see what we can do about Ted."

"I'm gonna go back and tell Alex that you and I are going downstairs and wait on Father Cliff, Uncle Roger and Uncle Bruce."

"Good idea."

The two of them went down to the emergency waiting room. As they passed the admission desk, Jeff leaned over to the nurse and sneered, "Good night, Irene!" Johnny hit Jeff's head with his open hand. Again, that was Jeff, being 'Jeff'. Johnny smiled and the two of them sat in the lobby to wait for the Briarwood arrivees."

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Chris had Morning Prayer duties at the church so he arose at 5:00AM leaving Ed in bed until time for him to awaken to get ready for work at 6:30AM. On the days when Chris was scheduled for the early service, he fasted, while Ed later got up, shaved, showered, and prepared his own breakfast which usually consisted of cocoa, nine-grain wheat toast, yogurt and fresh fruit. Normally, Ed arrived at his office at the Institute at 8:00AM to begin daily routine. Today he was anticipating receiving the rest of the results from the tests performed on Andy.

In his innermost secret wishes, Chris hoped and prayed that everything would be all right with Andy's tests so that Andy could be discharged from the Institute and go his merry way far beyond Briarwood. Chris was still skeptical about Andy's sudden appearance to see him after eight years. Perhaps Ed was accurate in his assessment that Andy was only there to see Chris, but both Chris and Ed felt that Andy had some ulterior motive.

As expected there were four manila folders on Ed's desk when he arrived, each containing a different report on Andy's examination. Ed set them aside while he called, Nora his secretary to go over his schedule for the day. Nora reminded Ed that he had a staff meeting at 10:00AM and two private meetings in the afternoon...one at 2:00PM and the other at 3:30PM. In between the appointments, Ed could make his daily rounds from floor to floor at Cole, checking on his most severe cases of AIDS first. Chris was just as eager to learn about Andy's condition, so he thought he would call Ed between 8:30 and 9:00 to see if Andy would be discharged and in good health.

Chris, being leery of Andy's motivation, had not visited Andy the three days he had been a patient at Cole until after Ed was off duty and the two of them could visit Andy together. Chris DID NOT want to be alone with Andy...just in case Andy had a 'trick up his sleeve'.

When Ed finished talking with Nora, he thumbed through the top three of Andy's folders and everything appeared to be normal. Finally, he opened the last and ran his forefinger down the list of 'rule out' diagnoses until three fourths down the page, something disturbing caught his eye...'possible non-seminomas cell in lower quadrant of left testicle'. This was almost the exact diagnosis of Lance Armstrong, the cyclist. Ed wondered how in hell with all the advanced tech equipment at Cole, this had been overlooked. Ed glanced back at an earlier report of Andy's Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) and it was in a normal range. However testicular cancer often didn't metastasize to the prostate before it attacked the bladder or even the lungs. Primarily, it was noticed first in the lymph glands. Seminomas cells can be treated easier and with a greater cure rate than non-seminomas cells which are more aggressive and difficult to combat.

Ed, immediately, called the charge nurse on Andy's floor and had her arrange a new CT scan with special emphasis on the testicles, bladder, prostate, colon, and lungs. If there was the slightest inkling Andy had developed a TC-cell, it meant he would not be discharged for several days or even weeks. When Chris called, Ed relayed the news of Andy's misdiagnosis and what the consequence could mean for the twenty-four year old lad. Chris felt a pang of guilt since he was so anxious to be rid of Andy. Chris was deeply in love with Ed and Andy had represented a threat to Chris and Ed's strong loving relationship...but now things had changed...possibly for the worst. As soon as Chris finished his conversation with Ed, he went downstairs to the main altar and prayed for Andy's recovery.

"Now when you sleep, you will dream a dream that's free from care.

For now when you wake, I'll be there...

So be still, take my hand for the greatest journey heaven can allow.

Starting love...starting here...starting now..."

Music by David Shire: Lyrics by Richard Maltby, Jr

("Starting Here, Starting Now" copyright 1965)

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Only Cliff and Bruce came to Boston from Briarwood. The two of them reported several times a day about Ted's condition and progress to the concerned brothers and spouses they had left behind. By Thursday, Ted was still in a comatose state and Cliff and Jeff had to leave to go home to their respective churches to prepare sermons for Sunday mass. Johnny accompanied Jeff, leaving only Bruce to stay in a Boston hotel to comfort Alex while he waited for Ted to awaken. Forty-eight hours had passed since Ted's surgery. His vital signs had lowered to a normal level, which was good, especially his respiratory rate, which meant his damaged lung was working fine.

Ted had been moved to the best private room in the hospital. It was more like a suite with an additional room containing a couch that made into a double bed; also several armchairs; a large screen TV to accommodate the visitors and a regular bathroom, complete with full bath and shower. Alex had not left Ted since his arrival. Fortunately, when Jeff packed Alex's bag in Mackintosh, he'd put in all the clothes that Alex had brought with him from California.

Ted's doctor was not too concerned about Ted's not waking up. "It takes time," he'd told Alex. There was no way to predict how long a patient would stay in a coma.

It was 9:00PM Friday, when Alex noticed Ted's eyelids start to flutter a bit. Ted also moved his free arm and began to make slight moans from his mouth. Seeing this, Alex got excited and squeezed Ted's hand.

"Oh!" Ted uttered.

"Ted?" Alex called quietly to him. "Ted?"

Ted moved his head toward the sound of his lover's voice.

"Huh?" Ted whispered.

"Ted, it's me, Alex!"

"Alex?" Ted asked, with his voice masked through a groan.

"Ted, are you awake?"

"Yeah, I think." Ted said, puzzled. "What time is it?"

"It's late."

"Late? What time does the game start?" Ted asked on one long breath. "Am I late for work?"

"No, babe. You're right on time."

Ted became more conscious of his strange surroundings.

"Alex?"

"Yes?"

"Where the fuck am I? Ow! What's in my arm? A needle?"

"Yes, but don't move."

"I don't think I can. There's something heavy pressing on my legs. I can't seem to move them."

"You...uh...have casts on them, baby."

"Casts? What ever for? My God, do I have a cast on my arm too?"

"Yes."

"Well, shit! Get me the fuck out of them!" Ted's voice was becoming stronger.

"I can't, baby." Alex said through his happy tears. "Both your legs and your right arm are broken."

"Don't shit me, Alex. How did I get two broken legs?"

"And your arm?"

"OK. How did I break my fucking arm? And where the fuck am I anyway?"

"You're in a hospital in Boston, Ted."

"Boston? How did I get here? The Celtics aren't on my schedule."

"You were in a car accident, babe."

"A what? When? Where? How? What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"Alex, if I could remember, do you think I'd be asking you? Oh, my stomach aches. Did I break that, too?"

"No," Alex laughed quietly. "Your stomach is fine, but you did have surgery."

"Alex, none of this is making sense!"

"It'll come to you. You're doctor said it would take a while for you to acclimate and adjust."

"Oh, shit! My legs DO hurt! God, I think they ARE broken."

A nurse came in to take Ted's temperature. Alex smiled at her and indicated Ted's awakening.

"Well, Sleepyhead, it's about time you rejoined the world." The nurse said to him. "I suppose I can put this thermometer in your mouth."

"In my mouth? Where have you been putting it? Don't answer! I know where you've been putting it. My ass feels like it's broken too."

"Is this his usual sense of humor?" the nurse asked Alex.

"Only when he first wakes up." Ted replied.

"Well as long as he's been asleep, he has a right to be grumpy."

"Who's grumpy?" Ted asked. "I just don't want you to stick that thing or ANYTHING where it hurts."

"Open up and slide this under your tongue, please."

"Humph!!" Ted muttered, receiving the thermometer in his mouth.

"When I get back to the nurses' station, I'll call your doctor. He wrote on your chart that we were to call him in the event of a drastic change in your condition."

Ted held the thermometer with his good hand while he asked. "Is this your idea of 'drastic'? Waking up?"

"It's a definite sign that you're recovering."

"Thank God for that!" Alex interjected.

"Yeah, be sure to thank God for the mess I'm in!" Ted said, clutching the thermometer between his teeth.

"Maybe I should go get something to let you go back to sleep," she said.

"Like hell, you will." Ted almost shouted. "You CAN get me something for the pain."

"Where does it hurt?" Alex asked.

"Just touch me and I'll tell you where it DOESN'T hurt!"

"That's a good sign if you can feel pain in all your extremities."

"Yeah, if you're into 'S' and 'M'!"

"Pardon?"

"That's short for 'shouts' and 'moans'." Alex answered, embarrassed.

"Oh!" She replied. "Well, he sure woke up shouting and moaning!"

"I'll be screaming if I don't get something for my pain!"

"Don't worry. I'll be back in a jiffy and you'll soon be feeling better."

"I can't wait!"

The nurse retrieved the thermometer looked at it and wrote Ted's temperature on his chart. Then she left to call the doctor and get some medication to relieve Ted's discomfort."

"Alex, what the fuck's going on? Why am I here and how soon can you take me home?"

"Ted, I'm not sure how or why it happened, but apparently, you had a wreck driving from New York to Boston. Do you remember where you were going?"

"I...uh...I think I was driving to somewhere in New Hampshire?"

"Why, for God's sake? You were supposed to fly to Atlanta to cover the game."

"I was driving to New Hampshire to see you."

"How did you know I was in New Hampshire?"

"Jeff told me."

"Jeff?"

"Yeah, I think."

"Jeff told you I was in New Hampshire?"

"Yeah, didn't he tell you I was coming?"

"No. no, he didn't." Jeff said, a bit puzzled. "Why New Hampshire? Why did you miss your flight to Atlanta?"

"Because you weren't IN Atlanta. You were in New Hampshire."

"Well, what is it you had to tell me in person that you couldn't say to me over the phone."

"I remember...I called you in L.A. and you didn't answer. Then I called my dad and he said you had gone to New Hampshire for Jeff's first mass. Let's see, next I called Father Cliff...I think...and then I called Jeff...and then...oh yeah, I called CNN and told them I couldn't cover the game in Atlanta. So, I rented a car...and I started driving north from New York...and...and...OH MY GOD! There was this car coming right at me. I tried to keep him from hitting me and I don't know...my car seemed to have control of me...it was like it was driving itself...only it didn't want to go the same direction that I wanted...and the car swerved off the road... all by itself and kept rolling over and over and over and...I don't remember anything else!"

"You've remembered enough, honey...maybe TOO much."

"Is this why I wound up here? How long have I been here?"

"Today's Friday. You've been here since early Monday morning."

"My God! Have I been 'out' for five whole days?"

"Yes, Ted, and I haven't left your side."

"Lord, you must be worn out."

"I'm fine...especially now that you're back."

"It's good to be back...or at least I think it is...Where's that fucking nurse with my pain medicine?"

"She'll be back shortly, once she finds out what the doctor wants you to have."

"Fuck, my aches have pains!"

"I'm sorry. You'll feel better as soon as she gets back."

"Oh, Lordy! Lordy! Lordy!"

"Ted?"

"What?"

"You still didn't tell me what you were coming all the way to New Hampshire to say to me. Was it bad?" Alex was afraid to hear Ted's reply. If Ted was coming to end their relationship, he didn't want to hear about it."

"I told Jeff NOT to tell you. I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh?"

'Yeah, you got a surprise all right, but not the one I had planned to give you."

"Sweetheart, I'm just glad that you're alive and awake!" Again, Alex held his breath to pry. "And what were you going to tell me with your surprise visit?"

"I remember covering the game at the Garden and I left there and went into this bar. Oh, yeah, I went to the bathroom and this guy tried to put the make on me."

"Ted, are you sure you want me to hear this?"

"Of course I do! You don't think I had sex with that guy, do you?"

"I hope not."

"Alex, honey, baby, darling. you know that in all the years we've been together, I've never cheated on you one time."

"Thank you, Ted. That makes me feel much better. You KNOW that I've never deliberately cheated on you either."

"Not that you shouldn't have! I wouldn't blame you if you had had sex with a hundred guys in L.A....You deserve to cheat on me, after the way I've treated you. God, Alex, I've been such an asshole!"

"Why did you say that?"

"I just have been, that's all...Wait a minute, you didn't let me finish. I was in this bar, and when I came out of the men's room, who should I run into except Rob and Timmy! Well, I started talking with them about Briarwood and such...primarily to get that trick off my back. It worked because he left soon, once I began talking to Rob...and Timmy. Well, we left there and went to their apartment. You oughta see it. There were awards and autographed pictures all over the place. I sat there for hours talking with them and after a while, I let them do all the talking while I just sat looking at them and how happy they were together...just being together. Rob started talking about sharing and loving and how they managed to stay in love. Then, they asked me if you and I had ever had a commitment ceremony...and it dawned on me...that out of all the couples in the 'family', you and I are the only two not to have pledged our love before God and the people who love and care about us."

Alex choked up with a baseball-sized lump in his throat as Ted continued.

"You see, that's what made me start thinking about you and me and how I often...hell...ALWAYS...take you for granted. We plan our life together around MY schedule. You're there when I want you and I...well, I seem to never be THERE for you. Well, I got this big guilt trip on my shoulders...and after I found out that you were in New Hampshire...well, I called Jeff and asked if he could perform a commitment service for me and you!"

"You did?"

"And that's why I was driving to New Hampshire."

"My God, I thought you were going to say you were coming there to break up with me."

"Alex, I may be a fool, but I'm no idiot. I've got the greatest mate in the whole world and I should know because I travel all the fucking time. You give me your love 24/7 and in return I give you shit!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes, I do. Now shut up and listen to me. I never tell you that I love you. I just assume that you know that I do...but I don't say it and I should...and I'm gonna...from now on...every chance I get!"

"Ted..."

"Hush, now, and listen....Alex Clayton, I love you more than anything in my life...more than my own father...more than my fucking job...Shit! Alex! Jobs are easy to find...but a guy like me only gets a guy like you, once in a lifetime...and I've been too stupid to realize it!"

"Ted, since we were barely out of our strollers and taking our first steps, I've always known that you and I were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together."

"Only I didn't see it until a week ago...now I know! Alex, sweetheart, can you forgive me? Please, I need you to say it!"

"There's really nothing to forgive, but if you need to hear it, then I'll say, 'I forgive you'."

"That helps."

"Are your lips too sore for me to kiss?"

"Come here! That kind of pain I can bear!"

Alex moved closer to touch his lips to Ted's. Something magic must've happened because as soon as their lips met, both of them had tears of joy streaming down their faces.

"God, I wish I could fuck you now." Ted whispered, then corrected himself with a louder remark, "I don't mean that. I wish I could make love to you right now."

"I'm afraid it may be along time before we're able to make love, Ted. The doctor said it might take six months to a year before you're able to walk normally. You're going to have to spend quite a spell in bed."

"But how am I going to travel and do my reports if I'm flat on my ass? How are we gonna live? You don't make enough at the center to support the two of us. Your salary wouldn't pay our rent!"

"Well, I'm sure you'll get something in your insurance settlement from your accident."

"Yeah, but baby, I'm an independent contractor. CNN or the Times will only cover me if I'm on the way to an assignment. Their insurance won't cover me on a pleasure drive to New Hampshire."

"Let me do the worrying for a while, will you? I might have a dollar or two in the bank for a rainy day."

"Yeah, but where would you get THAT kind of money?"

"Oh, I don't know." Alex said, nonchalantly, "Maybe I lied when I said I hadn't cheated on you?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, maybe...just maybe, when you go on your long trips, I've been walking the streets at Hollywood and Vine for money!"

"I don't believe that for a minute...YOU? HUSTLING?"

"OK, so you know I'd never do that! First of all, we DON'T have to live in Los Angeles. Maybe we should go some place that's quiet while you're on the mend."

"Like where?"

"I know a place. I found a place where I could be happy. I'm not sure if it would suit you, though,"

"Baby, any place you want to go, I'll go with you...just to be with you...no matter where the fuck it is...as long as you and I are there...together."

"I'll talk to you about it...later, when you're ready to be discharged from the hospital."

"OK, I'll wait...just make sure it's some place that we can afford."

"Ted, darling, lover, money is one thing we'll never have to worry about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I won't tell you now...just trust me. OK?"

"OK...but are you sure?"

"Wait until you find out how sure I am."

The nurse came in and gave Ted a shot. Alex held him until he fell into a natural sleep. Alex slowly walked from the bed to the telephone and called Bruce to tell him about Ted and Bruce was ecstatically happy to learn his son had regained consciousness. Then Alex called Roger at the same hotel where Bruce was staying and told him the news. Roger was relieved and pleased beyond words.

"Alex?" Roger asked.

"Yes?"

"Is there anything that you or Ted need?"

"Maybe one thing..."

"What's that, son?"

"Roger, I don't believe I ever thanked you enough for the money...and now that Ted is going to need months of rehab, I'm so grateful that we have it."

"Alex! Don't you dare use any of that money for Ted's rehab. Whatever doctor bills, hospital bills, rehab bills, or whatever other bills you encounter, send them to your dad. Walter will see to it that all of them will be paid for by me."

"But Roger, I'm sure my dad and Uncle Bruce will gladly split the costs with you."

"LIKE HELL THEY WILL! Alex, what is it going to take to make you see that I love you as if you were my own son? Cliff feels the same way! What kind of 'adopted' father would I be if I allowed you to use your own money for medical bills? I gave all of Cliff's and my Briarwood Boys money to enjoy and live their lives as happy couples...the same way Cliff and I have lived. Granted, Jeff was always closer to Cliff and I've spent more time being around Troy and Jay because they've lived with Cliff and me for almost ten years, but that doesn't mean I love you or Ted any less."

"You know, Roger, I've never said those words to you, but I want to now."

"All right..."

"Roger...I DO love you."

"And I love you too, Alex. The greatest thing about love is that you get what you give. Cliff and I give our love to you, not expecting you to love us in return, but in our hearts, we know you DO love us."

"You know, I've never told Ted about the money?"

"Why, for heaven's sake? That should be proof that he loves you for being yourself not what you have. He loves you when you're trying to survive on your salary at the L.A. crisis center. When he gets well, go out and spend it...spend ALL of it and if you should run out of money, call your dad and there'll be plenty more where that came from. I love all you boys...as does Cliff...and as long as I'm alive, none of you will ever want for anything. AND if the day comes when I'm no longer here, I've already given your dad instructions to see that my wishes for all of you keep flowing."

Alex was on the verge of tears.

"I don't know what to say..."

"I want you to say to me that you'll get some rest tonight. I know what a burden you've been carrying on your shoulders and I've been worried that you would wind up in a bed next to Ted from sheer exhaustion."

"I think I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"I'll be at the hospital in the morning with Bruce to see Ted."

"I know he'll like that. I know also that I'm gonna give you the biggest hug I've ever given to anyone in my life."

"Oh, no, you won't! The biggest hug you give belongs to Ted. I'll settle for the second biggest!"

"That's a deal!"

"Now go get some rest."

"I will."

"Good night, Alex,"

"Good night, Roger...I love you..."

"And I love you, too, son..."

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(To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK FIVE--chapter-forty-nine)