All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2002
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK FIVE
"FATHER JEFF"
Chapter Forty-seven
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"I May Never Pass This Way Again Never, ever, in my life have I seen so much love... So many people sharing as I have witnessed today And I just wanted you to know, by the Good Lord above, I pray with all my heart it shall forever stay this way All of you here in this place mean so very much to me And, without asking, I am sure all of you feel the same For nowhere else can anybody find such a lasting beauty Outshining such things as money, power and fame
Nowhere else can we bring our pain, heartaches and bad dreams And know we will not be laughed at or be told to get over it Knowing that here we can find a refuge from life's bitter schemes Knowing that each time we pass this way we feel better for it
No, I don't think that I will ever find the kind of love we share Where the family always sticks together through thick or thin Working out our problems lovingly, showing each other we care Come hell or high water, staying brothers and sisters (just like kin)
I don't think that I will ever pass this way again without regret That others out there cannot know what we have come to know That no matter what happens, none of us shall ever, ever forget That here we can hold on to each other while letting the pain go
In sharing our daily lives, our hearts, our souls, and our laughter We build bonds that strengthen over time and through space As an invisible chain of poetic hearts linked now and forever after Survivors of war, rape, abuse, or just victims of this tragic human race
Yes, we will hold on to each other as our love continues to grow Honoring those brave soldiers who gave their all and then some Loving our heroes who made it back alive, letting them know We will enlighten the world until our minds and hands go numb
We may not have a greater chance to teach our future generations So, until the Lord of Lords comes back to win the war we could not win Until He brings this unruly world to its knees in final reparations We must continue the good fight, for we may never pass this way again!"
Copyright Nancy L. Meek 2001
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Johnny was surprised and excited when he saw what the residents had built for him in the way of a new facility for Mackintosh. There were brand new computers with scads of CD-ROMs and large indices containing every imaginable phone number and links around the world. Johnny didn't question how they had acquired the funding for the office equipment because Johnny had more than a better idea where the money came from for God wasn't the only one who worked mysteriously 'behind the scenes' as God had a competitive benefactor who lived in Briarwood who just LOVED funding AIDS organizations. Johnny knew that the technology, and his ability to access much needed knowledge, was there to benefit all of them. It was almost as advanced as the equipment he had had at the Cole Center which was a definite clue who had supplied the money. The setup was similar to the one Alex had in Los Angeles, so Alex felt at home immediately with all that he saw.
Alex's L.A. center encompassed thousands of potential clients, while Johnny's new facility would cater to somewhere around 3,500 local residents. The smaller caseload meant that Johnny would be in closer contact and on a more one-to-one interaction with the smaller population.
Thoughtfully, before Johnny left his duties at Cole Center, he downloaded every link, every drug being prescribed, and every on-going pharmaceutical experiments, enumerating both the successes as well as the failures. He had CD-ROMs containing the newest research projects for HIV and AIDS, along with the latest advancements in treatment and technology.
AIDS is a strange disease, unlike any other known to medical science, since there is so many strains to diagnose, treat, and combat. Thousands of cases had been reported to the CDC in which a guy or gal had infected his only partner and the virus affected the partner in a completely opposite way--so much so, that the donor's medication had absolutely no effect on his partner..
One of the biggest myths concerning HIV patients, creates the gravest danger. Quite often two guys, both HIV+, meet in a bar, trick, go home and have sex, thinking that since they're both infected, no more damage can be done to either of them, so why bother with condoms? This is a HUGE and incorrect assumption. One participant's strain of the virus may be more severe and varied than his partner's. Thus the end of an evening's unprotected sex leaves the partner, not only affected by his own strain, but also now having a newer and more deadly strain of the virus to cope with, in addition to his own. Suddenly the two strains, when combined, create, in effect, a totally new virus, one where neither participant's medications have any remissive power whatsoever.
The average teen or young adult doesn't want to hear about such things. They are too infatuated with their newly found 'partner-for-the-night', and it never occurs to them what could happen to their own immune system. Another argument is the pros and cons of oral sex...safe or unsafe? Science speculates that HIV is transmitted through body fluids and the most concentrated forms are in blood and semen. Suppose a guy, going on a date, spruces up at home...showering, donning deodorant, brushing his teeth to remove all plaque and mouth odors. Accidentally, he brushes too hard and irritates his gums, just enough to cause an invisible cut just above his tooth line. Two hours and three drinks later, he's going down on his 'partner for the night' that he met at a bar. This 'partner' is HIV+, unbeknownst to either of them, and unable to control his urgent desire for sex, excretes preseminal fluid or even ejaculates in the other person's mouth. This fluid just happens to minutely enter a tiny cut on the gum left by the rigid tooth-brushing. A few weeks later, it's a mystery to the guy how he had acquired the HIV virus. He'd had no anal sex. He hadn't taken intravenous drugs. He had been given no blood transfusions from a dirty needle. All he had engaged in was a quick blowjob and EVERYONE does that...girls and boys alike...and there are many reports touting that oral sex is safe...EVERYONE knows or assumes that! So how in hell could he be HIV+? It's a pity that the government or some agency can't do a few more television promos about the dangers of EVERY KIND of unprotected sex. The doctors and scientists at the Cole Institute would be the first people to tell the public that there is no such thing as SAFE sex with an unknown partner unless some kind of protection is used...anally OR orally.
Johnny had the latest statistics showing that most high school females engage in oral sex more often than intercourse. Kids are experimenting with oral sex beginning at the age of nine and ten years of age, with the boys being able to climax as early as eleven or twelve. Would there soon be an oncoming AIDS epidemic among grammar school age children? Even the CDC won't rule out the possibility since oral sex has become popular with fifth and sixth grade girls 'going down' on their fifth and sixth grade boyfriends. Twenty years ago, teen boys didn't experiment with ejaculatory masturbation until they were 14, 15, or 16. Johnny, Alex, and Jeff all agreed that it should be mandatory for today's school kids to watch the 'R' rated movie, "KIDS", a 1995 film by Larry Clark, depicting high school sex where everyone in the school has sex in a chain-link fashion, where one guy screws a girl, who in turn screws another boyfriend, who screws another girl, who screws or performs fellatio on another boy...and only one girl is infected at the beginning of the film. She hasn't learned of her diagnosis yet and goes to a party and has sex with a room full of kids throwing a sex party. By the end of the evening, everyone has had some form of sex with everyone else, and now it's possible that the whole room full of kids is now HIV+ and ignorant of their condition. They can go to a different party the next weekend and meet new people. Within a very few short weeks, the entire school population could be HIV carriers.
Ignorance or assuming 'it can't happen to me' are two of the main reasons why AIDS is growing so rapidly. There are millions of kids, teens, and adults going their merry way into the night and spreading the virus faster than the CDC can track it. The prediction of 100,000,000 cases in five years is not only possible but also probable. Parents should make a point of buying the VHS or DVD of "KIDS" and watching it with their children. Sure, there's a lot of rough language and nudity in the film, but there's a message in it that apparently is not being taught anywhere else.
Even though Johnny had headed the Cole AIDS Crisis Center in Briarwood and Alex, on the other coast in L.A., they had made it their duty when they were handing out pamphlets from the AMA and the CDC concerning the disease, to give each of their clients a copy of the movie, "KIDS". It was presented in a language that the 'kids' could better understand.
As Johnny and Alex inspected the new premises, Johnny found a small box about the size of a small carton of unrecorded CD's. It was marked, "Top Secret. To be opened only by John Kane." Johnny wondered if this was another gag gift left by Jay, the prankster.
Alex, too, saw the tiny box and told Johnny, "I'll leave while you open it. Apparently, it's for your eyes only."
"No, stay!" Johnny exclaimed. "If this is some kind of practical joke the brothers are playing on me for my first day of work, I want you to be here in case it explodes or I get sprayed with bug juice or something."
At Johnny's request, Alex stayed to watch Johnny open the package, but he kept three feet behind Johnny in case it contained a 'bang' or an explosion of laughing gas or some other joke object.
Inside, Johnny found a stack of CD-ROMS, each of them labeled with a number. Johnny picked up the first one and slid it into the nearest computer.
"It's probably downloaded with the latest Colt or Higgins models. Come here, and get a better look!" he said to Alex.
The computers weren't equipped with DSL or cable, so it took a few minutes before the first screen appeared with the title, "The Red Ribbon Roster" and "ENTER". Johnny hurried to click to the next page where there appeared a list of names and links beside each one of them. Johnny highlighted the first one, "Alan Aaron" and up popped Alan's complete medical history; when he had first been diagnosed; his doctors; his medications; his treatments; and the latest progress and prognosis. Also, there was as much family history included as possible. Aaron's parents, schooling, employment, and the names of the last person or persons whom Alan had dated or been in close contact with.
These were secret files containing classified medical information of every living resident in Mackintosh. Toward the bottom of the box were discs containing the histories of those who had died. To have this information was highly illegal and broke all rules of confidentiality. There was a note attached to the inside of the top of the box. It said, "Johnny, don't worry about having these files. Every resident in Mackintosh came in privately and gave all their bios and information freely while being discrete. They thought it would help you in your work, getting to know who they are and everything you might need to help them." It was signed, "Good Luck! Larry".
"My God, Alex! Do you believe this?"
"Not if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."
"This saves me days, weeks, even months of work, getting to know who's who and what's what." Johnny said.
"I guess they trust you." Alex replied, "Or either that's their way of showing you that they'll accept help if you offer it to them."
"My records at Cole don't even come close to the thoroughness on these discs!"
"Mine don't either."
"Jesus Christ!" Johnny exclaimed. "Maybe I was MEANT to come here with Jeff."
"It would appear so." Alex agreed.
Johnny scrolled further down Alan's page and the information became even more astonishing. There was a box for Alan to write his personal comments. The message was written in first person, as if he were talking face to face with Johnny, revealing details of his former sex life and his relationship with his parents, siblings, and friends. He gave an account of most of his sex partners and the moment (and the person) when he believed he had gotten the disease. There were many small details that Alan had probably never revealed to anyone, not even his doctor.
"It looks like you're going to start work sooner than you'd anticipated, Johnny!"
"Alex, I just can't get over this," Johnny said, going to the next name. "They're all here...all thirty-five-hundred of them. They came in and typed out their thoughts and secrets to me. My God, it must've taken days."
"It's very important to them that you know all about them. They've learned to live in a world where life is short and you have to do something today in case there's no tomorrow for them."
"I can't wait to tell Jeff about this."
"You two still share everything together, don't you?" Alex said, almost envious of the two of them.
"Sharing is a pseudonym for love, Alex." Johnny said, looking straight at his brother-in-law. "It's only when you stop sharing, that's when your relationship begins to stray. I know lots of times gay guys, even straight guys, who go home from work and want to talk about what happened to them at work during the day. And maybe their mates want to talk about the busy day he or she has had, cleaning house, cooking, tending to the kids or pets. And maybe there are times when neither of them wants to hear about the other's day and they either close their ears to their mates or walk away. They don't seem to care enough to hear what's important to the one that they love most. That's only the first indication of NOT sharing, which leads to NOT caring, and after a while, they start avoiding each other at the dinner table and later in the bedroom. The secret to a lasting relationship is wrapped in a big word called, 'listening'.. That's all a psychiatrist or psychologist does. He never offers advice, if he's good in his profession. He sits and listens to his patient talk and sometimes he steers the direction of his patient's monologue until the patient comes to his own conclusion of what his problem is...and how he must solve it. Listening is sharing and sharing is loving. I don't mean the psychiatrist loves his patient, but at the end of the therapy sessions, the patient understands himself better, and the person at home who wouldn't listen to him."
"God," Alex replied, "I wish I had recorded your last speech and played it back for Ted to hear."
"You two are having a rough time, aren't you?"
"No, not really..." Alex said, but quickly added, "Yeah, I guess we are."
"Do you still love each other?"
"I guess...at least, I love him anyway."
"But you doubt if Ted loves you?"
"Johnny, when Ted comes home after one of his trips, we laugh, cut up, wine, dine, and make love like two rabbits. But the day after he leaves to cover his next story, I'm left alone. I sometime feel that when he walks out the door, he's walking out of my life, and I become afraid he won't come back this time."
"Have you ever told Jeff about this?"
"Yeah, Jeff knows...and so does Roger."
"And what did both of them tell you."
"Johnny, you told me about 'sharing'. Jeff and Roger said the most important thing in a relationship is 'trusting'.
"Don't you trust each other?"
"I don't know. I've never given Ted a reason NOT to trust me. But with him being gone most of the time, I'm not sure if I trust him."
"You know what you ought to do?"
"What?"
"You should tell Ted about the things you're thinking. Tell him about your doubts, but do it in front of Jeff, Roger, or Father Cliff. Open up and give him a chance to verbalize his feelings too. Get to know one another again in the presence of a mediator. Outside of Father Cliff and Roger, there's no better people in the world to help the two of you than your own brother. What he knows, he learned from Father Cliff, and there's no better teacher in the world, except for Roger. Father Cliff gives wonderful philosophical advice while Roger, even though he's a former priest, gives common sense worldly advice."
"I know you're right, Johnny. I need to have a long talk with Ted, but it never seems the right time. I'm always so glad to see him when he comes home. I know his time with me will be short until he departs on his next assignment. I hesitate bringing up serious matters that will put a damper on the time we have together before he leaves."
"Alex, when the matter is as serious as you're letting on, you've got to make the time, or else some day there won't be any time left to discuss what you should...matters that could destroy yours and Ted's relationship."
"I didn't even leave him a note or a message on his machine, telling him I was coming to Mackintosh to see Jeff. That was probably a huge mistake. But since I didn't expect him home until the latter part of next week, I thought he'd never know the difference if I was at home or three thousand miles away from California."
"When was the last time he called you?"
"Five or six nights ago. I don't remember"
"That's not good."
"You're telling me? How well I know!"
"Alex, don't you think it would be fantastic if you and Ted could come here and stay with Jeff and me for a week or two?...Hell, make it a month or two! We're family! We all love one another!"
"I wish Ted felt the same way as you, Johnny. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you how envious I am of you and my brother. Jeff was so wild growing up. He was a regular 'throw-a-pie-in-your-face-for-a-laugh' monster! It never stopped my loving him, though. That was just Jeff, being Jeff. I never thought he would settle down and find someone as wonderful as you. When he met Father Cliff and later, Roger, his demeanor changed completely."
"Oh, Jeff hasn't changed that much." Johnny laughed. "I still dodge when he takes a banana cream pie from the refrigerator!"
"You mean he still throws them?"
"Yes, and he also taught me the real meaning of 'tossed' salad."
"At least you have fun together. That's what's important! God! How I would like to believe Ted loved me enough to throw a banana cream pie at me!"
"Yeah, it's fun until you've dressed in your best suit and get ready to go out to dinner or a concert and he decides to turn the lawn sprinklers on while you're going out to start the car! If you wanna call that fun, go ahead!"
The two of them shared a warm laugh.
"That's the old Jeff." Alex said. "God, if I ever turned the sprinklers on Ted when he went out the door, that would be grounds for divorce of maybe murder!"
"Speaking of divorce...did you and Ted ever have a commitment ceremony?"
"No, but I always wanted one. But I was always afraid that Ted would think of it as being 'too gay'. In his world of sports, he plays it completely straight. Whenever we meet one of his co-workers or some athlete that he's interviewed, he introduces me as his roommate...his STRAIGHT roommate. He doesn't say 'straight', but he knows that I should never let on that there's nothing more between us. I sat at a restaurant with him and some of his sports buddies and Ted has lied telling about two whores we brought home and fucked together!"
"Goddamn, Alex! That's not only mean, it's cruel and unthoughtful! This is the twenty-first century. Hasn't Ted looked at the calendar recently? Times have changed. Mores are different now! Gays are no longer discriminated against... even sports journalists like Ted."
"Tell him that."
"I'd love to...if I could meet with him long enough to set him straight. Sorry, I didn't mean that...long enough to set him 'gay'!"
Alex laughed. "No wonder my brother fell in love with you. I would've too, if I had met you first."
"You're not 'hitting' on me, are you Alex?"
"You wouldn't recognize it if I were."
They laughed again.
"Don't you know that if anything were to transpire between you and me, well, that'd kinda be like incest?" Johnny kidded.
"It wouldn't be the first time I was guilty of that crime." Alex jokingly retorted.
"Yeah, I know," Johnny, replied. "Jeff told me about all the things you two used to do in his bedroom. What did he call it, 'menstruation'...?"
"Jesus! You have me at a disadvantage. Jeff's told you everything about him and me, and I don't know a thing about you and him."
"And you're not gonna know either!"
"Don't tell me that Jeff has learned to keep secrets instead of blurting the first thing that comes into his mind."
"That all changed, I guess, when he took his final priest vows. He's kept every secret that every guy in Briarwood has told him in the confessional and he never divulged the tiniest bit to me. Sometimes when one of my clients at the Center needed help or had even become suicidal, it would take me hours to get the client to tell me the cause of his pain. A day or two later I would mention the episode to Jeff and he would smile. He knew all along what the client was keeping from me and I guess if the client had killed himself, Jeff still wouldn't have helped me solve the client's dilemma. I used to tell Jeff that his middle name was 'confidentiality'."
"That little dickens!"
"Yeah, Father 'Dickens' to me!" Johnny noticed the new clock on his desk. "Hey, it's almost time for lunch. Why don't we stop what we're doing and go home and see what 'The Naked Chef' has prepared for lunch? We can come back here later and organize more of this shit."
"Sounds like a winner!" Alex said.
Just as they started to leave, Alex grabbed Johnny and hugged him long and hard. "Thanks, Johnny. I'm so grateful having you for a brother."
"Just remember, I'm always here for you, just the same as Jeff is."
They broke their embrace and went out the door to head for the 'gingerbread' house.
Jeff became tired of unpacking cartons and refilling them when he couldn't find a place to put the items he had retrieved. He stopped around 11:00 AM to have lunch ready when Johnny and Alex returned from the center.
He was a man of his word and vowed not to give the slightest hint to his brother about the surprise guest for this evening. Jeff had ridden in the back seat of Ted's car many times when Alex and Ted had brought him along on their 'dates'. He knew how fast Ted drove, so he expected Ted to arrive around 6:00PM from New York.
Jeff planned to have the guest room all spruced up for Alex and Ted's reconciliation. He had already placed a new box of condoms in the drawer of the bedside table, hoping that the latex would be put to good use. In the first years that Jeff and Johnny lived together, they used no less than three condoms apiece, nightly. Five years later the two of them had reduced the number to a total of three per night...one each for them to perform oral sex and the remaining one to be used by the one who had the most energy left to be the top for the night.
Jeff turned on the Food Channel and watched Martha Stewart make some kind of tuna surprise dish. Martha had made it look quick and easy, so that's what Jeff decided to prepare for lunch. He could never understand why Martha and every single cook on the food network chose to use thyme in every dish... even omelets. Both, he and Johnny hated the taste and smell of thyme. No one in his right mind should ever put such a putrid spice in a meal. To Jeff, thyme had the same aroma as an open jar of Vick's Salve. Yuck! Vick's and tuna, mixed together? NO WAY! Jeff knew that both his lover and brother loved peanut butter, so why not substitute a dollop of Jif for the dash of Martha's Vick's flavoring? It made sense to him.
So, he used a large can of white tuna, a heaping spoonful of Jif peanut butter, a glob of mayonnaise. a huge tablespoon of pickle relish, a dash each of Tobasco and Worcestershire sauce, a splash of clam juice, and a squirt of French's mustard for good measure. He stirred the concoction like one of the witches in "Macbeth" over her cauldron, and scooped a humongous portion on three plates covered with lettuce leaves. Next he placed the plates in the refrigerator to chill them while the flavors gelled together. Since he was serving fish, he decided on a nice white wine. He drank red wine daily at communion, so a Chardonnay would be a pleasant treat for him. Jeff looked at his masterpieces on the shelf in the refrigerator and thought that they needed a ripe olive on the top of each one for a garnish. Now, they looked lovely...worthy of old Martha, herself!
Pleased with his luncheon entree, he set the table with cloth napkins, brightly colored china cups and saucers, crystal goblets for the wine, and he took the time to polish the gold-plated dinnerware. Jeff went out to the backyard to pick a bouquet of roses and daisies. The table looked picture perfect! This was the first time Jeff had ever fixed a meal for his brother and he wanted everything to be just right!
Johnny and Alex arrived shortly after 12:30 PM. Jeff met them at the door, kissing each of them as they entered the Dutch door. Alex went to the guest bathroom while Johnny went to his and Jeff's to wash their hands before lunch. The two of them returned to the dining room almost at the same time. Jeff stood by his table setting to see the look on their faces. Johnny and Alex were both impressed with Jeff's display of playing the role of housewife.
"This is beautiful, babe!" Johnny said, going to Jeff and kissing his cheek.
"You did ALL this?" Alex asked in amazement.
"Well, don't both of you look so fucking surprised! I can do a lot of things you don't know about."
"I thought I knew about all your talents," Johnny said.
"Me too," Alex echoed.
"That'll be enough from both of you! I might start revealing a few things that I know, that you might not want me to say in front of the other of you."
"Kiss and tell!" Alex said, "That's the way he was when we were growing up."
"Alex, I never told a soul that I kissed you." Jeff retorted.
"You just did, 'Father'!" Alex quickly added. "You just told your husband!"
"I guess I'd better even things up, Alex," Johnny said. "Come here a sec."
Alex walked slowly toward Johnny, who quickly grabbed Alex's cheeks with his hands a planted a kiss on Alex's lips. Alex was so surprised, he didn't know whether to pull back or stand there and be embarrassed.
"There!" Johnny exclaimed when he released Johnny's face. "Now everyone here has kissed everybody and your threatening little remark backfired on you, my boy."
Jeff knew when he been "had". He laughed and walked over to his brother and lover and placed an arm around each of their necks, kissing one and then the other.
"I love you two so very, very much." Jeff said earnestly.
"We love you too, bro." Alex replied.
"And I can't live without you," was Johnny's remark to Jeff.
"God, I'm so happy to have the three of us together." Jeff said, just above a whisper.
"I wish that 'Te'..." Alex started, but couldn't finish his sentence.
"We do too, Alex." Johnny interjected and pulled their huddle closer together. "We wish Ted were here too, to be a part of this. Don't worry Alex, things have a way of working themselves out."
Jeff felt a stir inside him. "If only Alex knew that Ted would be here in less than five hours," he thought to himself.
"We're all just one big family, Alex." Johnny continued, "and one day Ted will know the feeling that we're sharing right now."
"I hope you're right, Johnny. I really hope you're right!" Alex said, quietly.
"OK," Jeff said, trying to get off the subject of Ted, "Let's eat!"
"My Lord, Johnny," Alex said, recovering from his hidden remorse, "Don't tell me that she cooks too."
"After a fashion," Johnny replied.
"No wonder you made an honest woman out of her when you married her."
"Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins!! Just you wait," Jeff sang in his worst Cockney imitation.
Jeff and Johnny sat at the table while Jeff went into the kitchen to place his prized meal on a serving cart that he proceeded to roll into the dining room.
"It looks wonderful, sweetheart," Johnny said, eyeing the decorated food.
"Yummy!" Alex added as Jeff placed a plate before each of them.
"You gonna say 'grace', babe?" Johnny asked Jeff.
"No, I want Alex to. In all the years we lived at home together, I never once heard him say 'grace', and now that he has a priest for a brother, it's about time that a little religion spring forth from my older sibling."
Alex was embarrassed now, for sure. It was true. Never in his life had he offered thanks for a meal and now Jeff had put him on the spot.
"You DO pray, don't you, bro?"
"Well, sure. I guess. I mean...well bow your heads!" Alex stammered.
Jeff and Johnny waited patiently for Alex to get the courage to find the proper words for a blessing. The wait was interminable as Jeff and Johnny sat silently in perpetual anticipation.
"Almighty God," Alex began, clearing his throat. "or rather, Dear God, I want to thank you for this food, prepared so elegantly by my little brother. I want to thank You too, for giving me Jeff for my brother, and for giving him Johnny, whom I've come to love as a brother." Alex stopped, not knowing whether to say, "Amen" and finish or continue since he had gained the bravery to pray out loud for the first time in his life. "I...uh, want you to bless the two of them...and I want to ask that you watch over Ted, wherever he might be. Keep him safe and if you see fit...well, please let everything work out all right between the two of us. Amen!"
Jeff and Johnny finished Alex's prayer by signing the cross and saying in unison, "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!" Alex had opened his eyes and decided to mirror their action, only being a novice at this ritual; he signed himself backward as the Greek Orthodox did.
There was another moment of silence while the three of them sat there looking at each other and smiled.
"That was beautiful, bro," Jeff offered.
"I'm uh...I'm afraid I'm a bit awkward when it comes to praying."
"You'll get used to it," Johnny added. "Now let's eat."
The three of them picked up their forks and plunged them into the ball of tuna. It only took two chews only for each of them to savor the mysterious flavors that had been assembled. None of them could say a word about the horror that had placed in their mouths. Johnny and Alex couldn't decide whether to swallow nicely or spit it out and make a mad dash to the phone to call poison control.
The tuna surprise was so horrendous; Jeff was the first to discover what a purulent conglomeration he had mixed together. The taste and smell together would've rivaled the potion that turned Jekyll into Hyde. Yul Brynner could have grown a full head of hair by rubbing it on his bald dome. Jeff was the first one to gag. He was too embarrassed to look at his lover and brother. "What a fucking piece of shit!", he thought. "I'll never trust Martha Stewart again as long as I live," he said to himself. "Fucking cunt!".
Johnny and Alex noticed that their chef was about to throw up, just as they were. The two of them politely wiped their mouths with the cloth napkins, trying to hide their action as they slowly spit out their first and only bite of this "god awful" mess. Jeff was no dummy for he saw what they were doing. He thought it best if he were the first one to comment
"Jesus Christ! Don't even try to swallow this shit...either of you!" Jeff screamed, as he spit his mouthful back on his plate. "I'm sorry, guys, but I watched Martha Stewart on the Food Channel and followed her explicit directions."
"Jeff, was this yours or Martha's idea to mix peanut butter with tuna?" Johnny managed to say, downing a large glass of water.
"Hers! I did everything just the way I saw her do it.." Jeff said, trying to cover his embarrassment.
"Martha MIXED all these things together for human consumption?" Johnny asked, sputtering water.
"Well, I DID leave out the thyme."
"Thank God for small favors." Johnny said, still trying to compose himself. "And she used the rest of the ingredients?"
"Well, no," Jeff replied, quietly. "The peanut butter was really my own idea."
"Instead of white wine, maybe you should've served it with stomach pumps!" Johnny said, holding back a heave.
The mention of stomach pumps caused all three of them to explode their suppressed laughter.
"I'm sorry, guys." Jeff said, while laughing through his embarrassment.
"Sorry?" Johnny joked. "I wish you'd never told me about the money Roger gave you because now that you know that I know, I'll fear for my life every time you choose to cook a meal."
Alex was listening but not talking, as he covered his hilarity behind with his napkin.
"You know, Jeff, if I survive this, I may just divorce you. There's not a jury between here and Briarwood that wouldn't find you guilty of attempted uxoricide and fratricide."
Jeff was too tickled to cry, He stuck his fork back into the tuna substance, gathered another big biteful, placed it in his mouth and with a great deal of fortitude, he managed to swallow it, It must have stuck halfway down his throat because his eyes filled with water. He was determined not to let his lover and brother get the best of him. He licked his lips and smacked them loudly. "Now isn't this delicious?"
"It looked like you had just finished performing cunnilingus on Martha Stewart," Johnny joked. "No wonder you like men."
The three of them broke up in hysterical laughter.
Alex finally decided to add a comment, "Bro, will you promise we one thing?"
"What?"
"As long as I stay here, will you NOT cook anymore meals for me? I think I noticed a nice soybean burger joint downtown."
"Just for that, you two can stay home this afternoon and fix dinner! We're having a guest!"
"God, I hope he brings a bottle of Ipecac with him and an I.D. with the name of his next of kin." Johnny said as they convulsed again. "Who's coming, babe? Who's the guest?"
"I don't know. somebody or other that Larry wants us to be nice to." Jeff said, lying about Ted's expected arrival.
"In that case, let ME do the cooking. I'd hate for us to be run out of town before we even get unpacked!" Johnny added. "You can help if you want, Alex, or if you prefer, you might want to go for a walk around the town. ALSO, you might want to stop somewhere for lunch!"
"I think the walk would do me good." Alex replied. "I WOULD like to take a tour and gather my thoughts. I have a lot to think about."
"Go on, and if you get lost, call us or stop anyone you see and tell them that you're Jeff's brother. They might try to accost you, but they'll help just the same."
Alex gave each of them a hug before he left to discover the shops of Mackintosh.
"OK, now, spill it!" Johnny quickly said now that Alex was gone. "Who's the guest? I know damned well that Larry isn't sending some stranger over for dinner."
"Well, if you must know...it's Ted."
"My God! You're kidding? How? When?"
"He called me this morning from New York and told me he was driving here to see Alex."
"Honey, that's wonderful news! How did he sound?"
"Pretty encouraging, Johnny. He asked if I had ever performed a commitment ceremony, so I think he's decided to make a few changes for the better in his and Alex's lives."
"And that's why you didn't tell Alex?"
"Yep! I didn't want to ruin the surprise. I wanted to see the looks on their faces when they met face to face."
"What time is he due?"
"I figured around six o'clock, knowing the way he drives."
"Alex will be thrilled, or at least I hope he will be."
"Me too, Johnny. I love my brother so much and it pains me when I see him upset as he is. They've been together so long, it's hard to think of them not making amends and working things out."
"You never cease to amaze me! Every day I find something new to love you for. It's just the way you care about people. I see it by the way you look at Alex and any of the guys from Briarwood. It's then that I stop and thank God that you're mine." Johnny went to Jeff and kissed him passionately. "I love everything about you, little guy."
"Then why do you raise such a ruckus whenever I try to cook a meal?"
"I seem to recall that your Jesus pitched a fit and threw out all the tax-collectors from the temple."
"So?"
"I'm throwing away all your cookbooks and locking the parental chip on the Food Channel. I'll do all the cooking from now on unless you can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from memory. That would really be hard to fuck up!"
"I remember how to open cans and heat soup! I'm not a total loss in the cooking department. Now why don't you go to the store and buy whatever we need for a nice dinner. I'm going to decorate the guestroom for Alex and Ted. I think I'll place a bouquet of roses in every nook and cranny in the room."
"Don't overdo it. Alex might become suspicious before Ted gets here."
"You do the cookin', doll, and I'll do the decoratin'!" Jeff said, emulating Humphrey Bogart.
"Done deal! Now kiss me before I go, that is, unless you want to take time out for a quickie before I leave!"
"Sorry, no nookie for cookie. I have to clean up the mess I made in he kitchen! The tuna surprise may scare the hell out of the garbage disposal!"
Well don't try to force it down the poor thing. Feed it a spoonful at a time and give it time to digest. You might just clog up the entire Mackintosh sewer system!" Johnny shouted.
"Fuck you!"
"Huh uhn! Remember no nookie for cookie by the rookie!"
They were still delirious as Johnny left to go shop.
<><><><><><><><>
Andy had followed Chris from Starbuck's to Cole Institute where Chris took him immediately to the admission office to be processed as a patient. Chris introduced Andy to Troy who told Chris to go see Ed while he (Troy) took a case history on Andy and would have him seen by the admitting doctors in the clinic. Ed was surprised seeing Chris at the Institute so early in the day until Chris explained the phone call and meeting with Andy to Ed. Ed knew all about Andy and his and Chris' dilemma in Atlanta and promised Chris that he would oversee Andy's physical examination and tests to determine his exact diagnosis and make preparation for a treatment plan.
Ed was not at all jealous because whatever had transpired between Chris and Andy was over eight years ago and any involvement between the two had ended back then. Ed was glad that Chris had persuaded Andy to come to Cole for treatment. Ed only hoped Andy hadn't waited too long and Andy was one of those whom the new medications and procedures might not work their miracles. Ed gave Andy's case top priority for Andy AND Chris' sake by admitting Andy to a private room with intensive care which was usually given to patients with end stage diseases.
Once Andy had settled into his room, nurses and technicians began drawing blood and taking samples of skin, saliva, urine, feces, and anything else which might assist in a quicker diagnosis. In spite of being stuck and probed in nearly every part of his body, Andy was enjoying his first-class attention, something he'd never really known or experienced before. After the fluids had been extracted from him, Andy received a delicious meal and propped himself up in bed to surf all the premium channels on cable TV. He was actually glad he had let Chris talk him into coming to the Institute.
On his nightly visiting rounds at the Institute, Chris stopped by to see how Andy was doing and also, Chris brought Ed with him to meet Andy personally. Chris had been twenty-eight years old when he and Andy had their brief affair. Chris was now thirty-six and Ed was at least over forty, according to the way Andy eyed Ed.
Andy thought, 'Why would Chris have chosen an old man over me? Granted, Ed was nice looking for a man of his age, but Ed must be very dull as a sex partner. After all, men his age often lose their sex drives!' When Andy and Chris had gone to bed to have sex that 'one' night, Andy was a virgin, but now with many, many men and sexual experiences he had encountered across the country, no one could please Chris more now than he...if only he hadn't told Chris about his having AIDS, it might be easy to seduce Chris and allure him away from the 'middle-aged' doctor.
Ed was very nice and cordial to Andy and told him that he should have the first test results back in the morning and then the treatment team could plan his road to recovery. Andy was disappointed when Chris told him that he would be busy with his church duties all the next day, but would be by to see him on his evening hospital visitation tomorrow,
Ed asked Andy if he would like to have a sitter spend that evening with him in case he was scared about being in a strange hospital in a strange city? Both Ed and Chris were a bit 'taken back' by Andy's response..."I wouldn't mind if the sitter was a young male...preferably gay."
Ed replied nicely that he didn't know the sexual orientation of his staff, but he would try to assign a male sitter approximately the same age as Andy. In Chris mind he wondered, 'Is this a ploy of Andy's to make me jealous?' But Chris kept that thought to himself.
Chris and Ed went home shortly after, Rick, a male orderly came in to 'sit' with Andy for the rest of the evening. Rick was a nice looking young man, about twenty-one years old and left no doubt in anyone's mind that he was definitely gay.
During dinner at the manse, Chris and Ed tried to keep Andy from being a topic of conversation. After dinner, the two settled down on the couch in the den for brandy and a DVD movie. Then, they went to bed and had a wonderful time making love. They had been together over seven years and had found a way to make every night in bed together new and exciting...as Ed was a late bloomer in gay sex and Chris had denied himself sex while he was a Roman Catholic priest. So, their love life was good.
The following day around lunchtime, Chris gave Ed a call at his the Institute to learn the pre-diagnosis findings from Andy's tests.
"Hi, sweetheart!" Chris said when Ed answered the phone.
"Hi. my love!" Ed replied. "I was hoping you'll call or otherwise I was going to call you."
"Any word yet about Andy?"
"Yes, several tests are back."
"AND...?"
"Chris, you've been coming around Cole for nearly seven years and you've seen just about as many patients as I..."
"So...?"
"So I think I'll let you be Andy's doctor for a few minutes and I'll be his priest..."
"What do you mean?"
"You said you haven't seen Andy in eight years."
"That's right, I haven't."
"When you first saw him at Starbuck's yesterday, how did he look to you compared to the way you remember him? I realize he's matured from an adolescent into a young adult, but how did he look to you?"
"I,,,I thought he looked wonderful."
"Describe what you saw...his skin, his weight, his coloring, his eyes..."
"For an average twenty-four year old male, he looked sensational."
"You used to go on your meal buggy runs, taking dinners to AIDS patients. How did they look compared to the way Andy looked to you yesterday?"
"Actually, Ed, there's no comparison. My AIDS patients in Atlanta, just like the ones at Cole, mostly are frail, pale-looking with sunken eyes, and practically no energy at all."
"So, if that's the way an end stage AIDS patient looks, then Doctor Curtis, what would you say about Andy's condition?"
"He doesn't look sick at all, Ed."
"You're a pretty good diagnostician because that's what the early results of Andy's tests show."
"You're kidding..."
"No, and I'm pleased I'm not. Chris, everything about Andy is normal. Unless some of the impending tests show something different, Andy lied to you. He doesn't have AIDS OR HIV. I can't find a damned thing wrong with him. You saw yourself...he's strong, muscular, good color to his skin, bright-eyed and energetic...."
"Why would he lie, Ed?"
"Maybe to attract someone's attention..."
"Oh my God! Surely he didn't come all this way just to think that..."
"It appears that might be the case. Either he's still in love with you or he's playing a joke on you...or, well, I'd rather not say what else I'm thinking."
"You mean he wants to get even with me some way for leaving him and deserting him."
"That was my third choice."
"Jesus Christ, Ed! I'm no longer in the Roman Catholic clergy. Surely to goodness his motivation isn't blackmail! After all, over half the congregation at St. Genesius knows I'm gay as they do about Cliff and Roger. There's no reason to blackmail you. Your position as administrator is secure for the rest of your life by Roger's decree. What in God's name could Andy want?"
"If I only had one guess, I'd say what he wants is 'you'."
"But that's impossible and you know it as well as I, Ed."
"I know, but if the rest of his tests return negative from all diseases and ailments, I wonder what he'll do when he's discharged from Cole?"
"Only time will tell, Ed, but I fear the worst..."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A light mist of rain peppered Alex's face before he reached Main Street. The slight drizzle was refreshing to him, as it seemed to relax him as he walked on the cobblestone road. He had an uneasy feeling about not leaving a note or a message for Ted. A tinge of guilt accompanied his feeling. He tried to reason with himself that he was on family business, meeting his father and step-father and visiting his brother whom he hadn't seen in a couple of years, but on the other hand, Ted was his family, too. Just a, "Hi Ted, I'm going to see Jeff for a few days. I'll be back by the weekend so don't worry. I love you." would have been enough to ease his remorse.
God, the town of Mackintosh was peaceful. The air was so fresh and clear. No wonder the residents afflicted with the virus had chosen this place to spend their final days. The streets were calm, not like the busy L.A. freeways or the buzz of the 'wannabe discovered' guys that occupied every available position in every restaurant, department store, office, and other places that offered short-term jobs. There was no smog...yes, definitely no smog. Alex wondered if he could be happy living in a pastoral setting or would the complacency of this haven soon become boring to him. Mackintosh was certainly not an ideal locale for Ted. Ted would be ready to leave within twenty-four hours, if he managed to stay that long.
The closer Alex got to the township; he realized how much he envied his brother and his brother's lover. They seemed to have it all. The two of them had been together over five years and both of them acted like school kids. They had managed to find fun in their relationship. Even those things that had become routine were still new to them in their daily lives. Was that the "sharing" that Johnny had talked about?
Alex had often pondered what life would be like if he and Ted were to split up. Sure, life would go on, but it would be different. A part of him would be missing. A part he had had practically all his life. He and Ted had been friends from the time they were just toddlers, and lovers since the age of fifteen, and a gay couple for the past five years. He wondered how Ted's life would be without him. Did he matter to Ted anymore, or did Ted take him for granted...like coming home to his automobile. or to his desk with the computer containing all the sports bios and documents he had written?
Alex knew it was time to sit down with Ted and discuss all these thoughts that constantly crowded his mind. Did Ted know that he really loved him? Did Ted really love him too? Were they going to spend the rest of their lives in L.A., filled with quick memories between their "hello's" and "goodbye's". every time Ted had to leave town to cover a new story or event? Then Alex's focus shifted to Jeff and Johnny. Did the two of them ever have doubts about their love for one another? No, definitely not! Anyone could tell just by the way they looked at each other.
The first shop that Alex stopped in was a clothing store which handled faux designer brand names. so that the residents on fixed incomes, could feel like they were wearing the latest Calvin Klein, Giorgio Armani or Tommy Hilfiger fashions. Everything that he saw to buy, was something he wanted Ted to have. Ted was in every thought. He took out his American Express card from his wallet and bought three shirts and two sweaters that would look perfect on his lover. but bought nothing for himself. As the young salesman was about to ring up the purchase, Alex quickly added a bottle of Calvin Klein's "Eternity", the cologne that both of them wore. The scent always reminded them of one another. They choose to wear the same brand so that the aromatic fragrance didn't compete with the other's when they were dining out or going to a party, etc.
Having had no lunch, so to speak, Alex went into a quaint little restaurant, which, to Alex's amusement, DID have a wide variety of soybean burgers. He ordered the Camino Real burger which reminded him of California. He was amazed at the flavor of ground soybeans. It actually tasted like beef. He also treated himself to a side order of Francais Frisent, which was a combination of shoestring potatoes, zucchini, and tart apples, coated in a batter and crisply fried in hot oil. It was strange mixture of flavors, but it was good. For dessert he had peach ice cream made from soy milk. He thought for a second he could easily become a health food nut if everything else lived up to this sampling.
These residents were supposed to be terminal AIDS cases by their own choice, but all of them looked so goddamned healthy. Was it because of the environment, the fresh air, or the food? Perhaps it was a combination of all three, but then again, maybe it was the idea of "getting away" from the world's pressure of having to constantly put on a facade to hide, what they had been made to believe, their disgraceful disease?
Alex wandered up and down both sides of Main Street. Although he was not a drinker, he wanted to visit the Powder Puff Pub after all he had heard about it. It was nearing 3:00 PM and he didn't think the bar would be crowded this time of day. His assumption was correct; the only person in the gay club was Scott, the bartender, who immediately reminded Alex of Nicky Katt on "Boston Public"...handsome without being pretty and manly without looking like a hunk. Scott's hair was raven black. He had piercing blue eyes that made Alex think for a moment that disguised X-ray vision. Scott could probably see you naked through your clothes or count the number of your ribs if he chose to use his powers.
"May I help you?" Scott asked in smooth mellow voice.
"Yes, please, can I order a Coke?"
"Sure! One Coke coming up!"
Scott reached in the cooler and got a bottled drink, opened it, poured it over crushed ice, and set it before Alex.
"Thanks," Alex said, dropping his eyes. He didn't want to stare too long into Scott's baby blues for fear of being hypnotized.
"You...uh...visiting someone...or maybe thinking about moving here?" Scott asked, knowing that Alex's answer would tell a whole story. If he was moving to Mackintosh, that could mean only one thing.
"I'm...uh...visiting my brother here?"
"Oh?"
"Yes, his name is Jeff Clayton, or rather I should say, 'FATHER Jeff Clayton."
"You're the priest's brother?"
"Yes, I'm Alex...Alex Clayton."
"Nice to meet you Alex, I'm Scott Valenza," Scott said, offering his hand to Alex.
"Hi, Scott," Alex replied, taking Scott's hand, which instantly created a slight tingle in his spine and psyche.
"Your brother's quite the talk of the village."
"Were you at mass yesterday?"
"No. I wanted to come, but it takes a long time to clean up this place after the Saturday night crowd whoops it up here. I did meet him and his friend Johnny. They seem like a nice couple."
"Yes, they're both excited being here. They have great plans for the residents."
"May I ask where you're from?"
"I live in Los Angeles, but Jeff and I grew up in Briarwood."
"I guess this town seems pretty dull to you, coming from the bright lights of L.A."
"From what little I've seen of it, I like Mackintosh. It's so peaceful and serene, I find myself enjoying it."
"It takes a special kind of person to get used to a place like this...and, as you probably know, all of us here in Mackintosh are special people who moved here because of a special reason."
"You mean the sickness?"
"Yes, the sickness...and the dying."
"I'm sorry, Scott, I shouldn't have..."
"No, it's all right. It was I who brought the subject up. You know, when I was just a kid, I used to tell my friends that I was going to grow up, become a millionaire, and retire in 'Happy Valley', somewhere."
Alex didn't reply because he wanted Scott to keep talking.
"Well, I didn't make my million, but I guess I wound up in 'Happy Valley'!"
"Mackintosh IS beautiful," Alex said.
"It's a lot better coming here to die than going to some fucking charity ward of some fucking hospital were no one gives a fuck about you."
Alex knew all too well about the horrible places that some states housed their AIDS patients in. Most of the victims had no insurance and relied on Medicaid to pay for their services. The current Washington administration had done nothing to keep up with the treatment and needs of its AIDS population. The Cole Institute had been funded solely by Roger's endowment without any federal funds. It took years before some hospitals would even admit patients who were HIV-positive. And if they died, it was a bigger dilemma trying to find some undertaker who was willing to embalm or even cremate the bodies. In the early days of the AIDS epidemic, only ambulance-chasing-funeral-directors would agree to take an "infected" corpse. Families of the deceased, tried desperately to hide their shame and ease their guilty consciences by sky-high prices to some greedy asshole to dispose of their "loved" one.
"I know it's bit forward of my saying this, but your brother and his friend pulled no punches by announcing that they were gay. Does it...uh...run in the family?"
"Are you asking if I'm gay?"
"Well...yes. You don't have to answer because it's none of my business. I'm just curious, that's all. It's not like I'm trying to put the make on you or anything."
"In that case, yes, I am."
"You're HIV-negative, I presume?"
"Yes. Yes, I am." Alex felt almost ashamed of being healthy and AIDS-free.
"You're lucky," Scott said, "You have a long life ahead of you."
"You shouldn't sound so hopeless, Scott. With the new drugs and treatments that are coming out, there's no reason shy YOU shouldn't have a long life."
"I've tried all that stuff and it's all just a bunch of hopeful bullshit! Everything I took, worked for a while, and then my viral lode would increase and they'd start me on something new which brought on more vomiting and diarrhea...and just when I got used to the dosages and got myself in control, I'd have to switch to ANOTHER new drug. I got fucking tired of it! I finally gave up. When I die, I'll die with a clear head and unclogged veins without all that high-priced medication!"
"Yes, I know what you're talking about. I work in a crisis center in L.A. where 90% of my clients are HIV-positive."
"You chose to do that for your life's work? Why, for God's sake?"
"I'm afraid I'm very much like my brother, only I'm not as religious as he is."
"You're not?"
"Oh, I believe," Alex replied. "I'm not sure exactly what I believe in, but I'm content with my feelings about God and such."
"I come from a long line of Italian Catholics. My parents even met the pope once. But when they found out that their youngest son was gay... not only gay but HIV-gay. Well, that was too much for them. What would the Pope say? It was like they were trying to hide me or letting me disappear under a rug or riding me off into the sunset. ANYWHERE, as long as I moved out and far away from them."
"I'm sorry, Scott."
"I guess you've heard a thousand or a million stories like mine."
"I've heard a few."
"We're like fucking lepers, Alex. My brothers, my close friends, not one of the self-righteous motherfuckers wanted me around anymore. To them, I was nothing more than a cocksucker or a fudge packing Catholic who was taught NOT to use condoms. So I didn't use 'em and look what happened to me! Oh, I thanked my mom and dad for that, for years. The Catholic Church denounces the use of rubbers and in the same breath, they're against homosexuals and abortion. So if we practice unsafe sex as the church teaches, we wind up screwed no matter if we're straight or gay."
"Jeff's religion is not Roman Catholic and it accepts you no matter what you are."
"Thank God, something does."
"I'm not trying to convert you, but I wish you WOULD come to one of Jeff's masses. You might find out something about yourself...something you may be been missing in your life."
"Oh, I'll get around to going. I mean, hell, society dictates that everyone has to have a funeral. So if I start feeling like my end is nearing, I'll start going to mass."
"God, why is he so negative!" Alex thought to himself. "Do all the residents here have the same attitude? No wonder they refuse advanced treatment and drugs. They come here to hide and die...nothing more!!! Jeff and Johnny have their work cut out for them. I hope that they know about the problem that they're facing here in Mackintosh."
Alex finished his Coke and thought it was time to leave. His thoughts of Ted already had him depressed, and listening to Scott was only adding to his depression.
"Well, I guess I'd better head home," Alex said. "It was nice meeting you, Scott."
"Same here." Scott replied as Alex got up to leave, "Hey, I'm sorry. I don't usually rant and rave about my personal life. It's just that you were a stranger who's not going to be in town long, and I guess I chose you to dump on. I'm VERY sorry."
"Scott, back home, this is what I do for a living. I'm there to listen to guys like you. Guys who need to open up to someone. Guys who never seem to find someone to listen to them."
"I suppose...but I'm sorry, just the same."
"No reason to be." Alex said, "Do you mind if I come back again, in case you need to vent some more?"
"I'd like that, Alex. There's just something about you... something that told me I could trust you and say anything without being judged."
"I'm gay or did you forget?" Alex said. "I don't intend to ever judge anyone for being himself. I think you'll find that Jeff and Johnny will be friends to you, that is, if you want to get to know them better."
"I'll try."
"Promise?"
"Yes, buddy, and thanks!"
"I'll be back!"
"I'm looking forward to it. Maybe you've got things on your mind you'd like to tell me about!"
"Could be."
"Then, I'll listen to YOU, next time."
"I just might take you up on that!"
"So long, buddy."
"Goodbye, Scott."
The rain had stopped when Alex returned to the street. The air was a bit muggy now, but a thousand times fresher than any he could inhale in L.A. As he neared the final block of the shopping district, a car pulled up beside him, honking the horn twice.
"Hey, handsome! Wanna ride and a quick fuck?"
Alex was angered by the remark and turned to give the driver a "what for", until he saw that it was Johnny behind the steering wheel.
"Come on, get in, I'll drive you home." Johnny said,
A deep sense of relief fell on Alex when he realized he wasn't being hit on, although he still had to calm his momentary anger.
"You thought I was being serious, didn't you?" Johnny said as Alex opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. "I could tell by the look in your eyes. I can see you don't like it when someone aggressively tries to pick you up."
"You got that right!" Alex replied.
"I see you spent your day shopping. Find any bargains or unusual items for sale?"
"I bought Ted a bunch of stuff but didn't see anything I wanted for myself."
"You're a true Clayton all right, always putting your other half first. I recognized that trait, first in Jeff, next his father, and now, you."
"I guess Jeff and I both pattern our lives by the way Dad brought us up."
"And if you don't mind my saying it, he did a damned fine job with both of his sons, not to mention the way he's guided Kyle and Ryan. They've turned into really loving parents. Of course, I'll never be able to thank Walter and Dave for the way they took me in and treated me as if I were their own son."
"Thanks for saying that, Johnny. I guess we're all pretty damned lucky."
"I had to go grocery shopping. Don't worry; I'm doing the cooking. I've threatened Jeff's life if he ever tries to cook another meal by himself!"
"I know he was just being thoughtful, trying to add ingredients to his luncheon dish that you and I both liked. But tuna fish and peanut butter? I'll remember that flavor as long as I remember the first penis I sucked!"
They both enjoyed a hearty laugh. Then Johnny asked, "Did you meet any of the residents?"
"A few,"
"What did you think?"
"They're all extremely nice, but I found most of them so goddamned negative when it comes to treating their illness. It's like most of them WANT to die."
"That's the same impression Jeff and I got. We're both aware of the problem. We've just got to find a way to solve it and get them to want to live."
"That's gonna take some powerful persuasion, especially with the bartender at the Powder Puff."
"You mean Scott?"
"Yeah, listening to him, I'd say he's just one bullet short of committing suicide. I invited him to come to mass."
"That was nice of you, Alex."
"I went into the Powder Puff and no sooner had we introduced ourselves to one another...it was like he instantly became one of my clients from my center back home."
"I'll talk with Jeff and see if we can put Scott's name at the top of our priorities' list."
"I think that's a good idea." Alex said, "Did Jeff ever tell you who the mysterious guest was, coming to dinner?"
"No," Johnny lied. "But don't worry, if he's a friend of Larry's, he'll be all right."
"I hope so." Alex said, "I may excuse myself early and go to bed. I'm rather tired."
"And depressed?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"I hope you'll stay with us a week or so, and get things sorted out in your mind. That way, when you DO see Ted again, you'll know how to cope with yours and Ted's situation."
"I hope."
"Things'll work out, I'm sure of it!"
"Damn! How can you stay so positive about everything?"
"Being around Jeff, I guess. I can't be negative whenever we're together. You should know that. He's your brother. You grew up with him."
"Yes, Jeff's glass is always half full."
"And yours should be too."
"I suppose."
Johnny drove the car up the hill to the front door of his and Jeff's cottage. Alex helped him carry the bags of groceries inside.
"Is all this food just for tonight?"
"Yes,"
"Jesus! If I have to eat a big meal, I WILL have to go to bed early."
"Maybe...and maybe not!" Johnny said, thinking once more about Ted's surprise arrival.
Alex offered to help Johnny with the piddley things such as scraping carrots, chopping onions, and peeling potatoes, while Jeff continued to make the house look nice...primarily the guest room.
Around 5:45 PM (just fifteen minutes before the anticipated arrival of the "guest"), Johnny suggested that Alex go shave, shower and get dressed for dinner. Alex agreed and went to the guest bathroom with his toiletries and a change of clothing.
Johnny turned all the eyes on the stove to "low" while he asked Jeff to join him in the shower. They always took time to bathe together even after five years together. It was one of their favorite events of the day. There was no time for the usual sexual games they loved to play with the bar of soap on a rope or the massage control on the showerhead. They wanted to look their best when they met Ted at the door...which should be any minute!
When seven o'clock rolled around, a touch of panic hit Jeff. Johnny shared his uneasy feeling. Alex didn't notice the time. He wasn't hungry as he was still full from his late lunch, He went in the den to watch Peter Jennings on the news, followed by "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy" which took him up to eight o'clock. Then he went into the kitchen to be with his brother and Johnny who were trying their best to keep worried looks from their faces.
"No word from your guest, yet?" Alex asked.
"No," replied Jeff, and then he lied. "I called Larry and he said that the guest might be a little late."
"Weren't you expecting him around six?"
"Yes."
"Well, two hours is more than being a 'little' late." Alex said.
"Alex, if you're hungry, I can fix you a plate or you can get an early start on the hors d'oervres."
"No, I'll be fine."
"Johnny, why don't you take Alex into the den and watch TV until he arrives?"
"Good idea!" Johnny replied. "Let's go see what movies are on cable."
The two of them went to watch TV, leaving Jeff alone in the kitchen to worry by himself. Johnny clicked the remote control until he found the familiar faces of Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. Both, he and Alex had seen "The Way We Were", and the background music of Marvin Hamlisch always sucked them into watching it again and again. The movie came on at eight and didn't finish until a little after ten. Johnny had tried to look at his watch every fifteen minutes without drawing Alex's attention to how late it was getting.
"You know the moral of that movie?" Alex asked.
"What?"
"That is OK to get divorced. Some times people love each other more when they both realized their marriage was a mistake. They recognize the fact that they will both be happier separated and most of the time, they remain good friends. The look that Streisand and Redford gave one another as the embraced in the final scene. I suppose when you first meet someone, you love him from afar, and if you can separate in a humane way with dignity, years later you can meet and see that you did that right thing and once again, love that person from afar."
"That's a good philosophy, Alex. Since Jeff and I got together, I've never imagined living my life without him."
"That's because you two were meant for each other."
"You've been with Ted longer than Jeff and I."
"I know, but somehow it's different."
"What are you trying to say, Alex?"
"I don't know. I'm not sure. It's just different, That's all."
The phone rang around ten-thirty. Jeff made a mad dash to answer it while Johnny and Alex looked on.
"Hello?" Jeff answered. "Oh, hi Father Cliff,"
Pause.
"No, we haven't begun to eat yet."
Pause.
"Yes, he's right here in the kitchen with Johnny and me."
Pause.
"Yes, Father, I'll put him on."
Pause.
"Alex, it's for you. Father Cliff wants to talk with you."
Alex took the receiver as Johnny gave Jeff a 'what's wrong' look. Jeff shrugged his shoulders but he had a worried look on his face.
"Hello?" Alex said. "Hi, Father."
Pause.
"What do you mean?"
Pause.
"No, the last I heard, Ted was in New York."
Pause.
"No, you must be mistaken. I think he had to be in Atlanta by tonight."
Pause.
"Father, you MUST be wrong. THAT CAN'T BE!"
Pause.
"WHEN?"
Pause. "
WHERE?"
Pause.
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
Pause.
"THAT CAN'T BE!"
Pause.
"HOW IS HE?"
A long pause.
"OH, MY GOD! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Alex dropped the phone.
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(To be continued in "Briarwood--BOOK FIVE--"FATHER JEFF"--Chapter-forty-eight.)