All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2002
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK FIVE
"FATHER JEFF"
Chapter Forty-four
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"I need you to be with me day and night,
To tell me what I do is right,
Forgive me every time I'm wrong,
And sing to me my favorite song.
I need you.
I want you to say the things I want to hear,
To be my nerve when I have fear,
To chase away my greatest doubt,
And teach me what life's all about.
I want you...the better half of us two.
You are my castle made of golden sand--
Everything I've planned.
You fill the bill of my one demand.
You strike up my big brass band!
I'd love you to be with me when I'm growing old,
To spin one lasting dream of gold.
And when it's time to go away--
To say close by my side you'll stay.
I love you.
I want you.
I need you."
Music and lyrics by
Ritch Christopher Snyder
from "Pumpkin Man"
Copyrighted by the author,1964,NYC.
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Jeff stopped by St. Genesius around 10:00 AM. Father Cliff was reading in office as he usually did that time of day. He gathered notes for his next sermon in the solitude of his sanctuary. Jeff tapped on the door.
"Come in," Cliff said,
"Hi, Father." Jeff said with his usual beaming smile.
"How was the wedding?"
"You've seen more weddings than I have. You should know more about them than I." Jeff replied, hedging from telling Cliff where he really had been. "Anything important happen while I was gone?"
"Same old, same old, except I DID get a disturbing call this morning around three."
"You mean about the double suicide?"
"Yes. You heard about it?"
"Yes, Johnny told me about it before he left for the clinic."
"He left at that hour?"
"Yep. You know Johnny!"
"Yes, I do." Cliff said, smiling. "Jeff, I'm going to be honest with you."
"You meant you aren't ALWAYS honest with me?" Jeff joked.
"You little squirt! Or should I say Father Squirt?" They both laughed. "What I was going to say is that I constantly worry about Johnny and I know that you do too."
"You mean about working night and day?"
"Exactly. He puts in far too many hours at the clinic, He has a well-trained and educated staff to cover a lot of the things he could pass on."
"I know."
"You two ought to get away for awhile. Take a month or two off. Go to Europe. Heck, be like Roger and go see the Dalai Lama...anything to get away from the stress of the clinic. God knows you can afford it. You boys are young. You're in love. You should be having the same kind of fun that young men your age do. Have you ever thought about it?"
"Sometimes. But Johnny and I are both alike on the score that work and people come first over our own pleasure." Jeff said.
Cliff had just opened the topic that would be the ideal time to tell him about Mackintosh, but he knew he couldn't...NOT until he had discussed it with Johnny first. Jeff took a moment to just look at Cliff. Cliff looked serene almost saint-like. Roger had more of the rugged appearance in contrast to Cliff's but they were so much alike. Maybe it is true, the longer you live with someone, you not only think alike but in many ways look alike by mimicking the other's facial expressions, hand gestures, and even vocal inflections. The very thought of leaving Cliff, Roger and this wonderful church scared Jeff for a moment. He COULDN'T leave and that was that!
Maybe it would be best if Jeff just blatantly told Johnny everything, and maybe sounding it out loud, would show himself what a folly it would be to even consider the Mackintosh proposal. If Jeff had decided NOT to go, telling Johnny could do no harm. At least he would no longer be concealing the truth about his secret and deceptive trip. Hell, while he was confessing that to Johnny, Jeff might as well get everything out in the open and tell him about the money in the bank. The endowment legally became Jeff's when he turned twenty-one and he hadn't spent a cent of it. Since his dad handled the trust, Jeff didn't know how much he really had in the bank, what with the interest building on it for seven years.
On the way home from Mackintosh, Jeff thought about the secret money and wondered if Roger had given it to him to further St. Genesius. Would Roger object if Jeff spent some of it on his whim of changing parishes? Probably not, but just the same, it was only right that Jeff ask Roger in person, not second handed through Cliff. Roger had rebuilt St. Genesius. He had also created and built the Institute. Jeff came to the conclusion that because of Roger's venturesome attitude, Roger would probably suggest to Jeff to spend the whole lump sum on the residents of the tiny town.
Jeff knew in his heart that if he told Cliff and/or Roger about his plan, they would each say, "You know I love you and I'll miss you...but GO FOR IT! As Dietz and Schwartz put it, go build a world of your own!"
Yes, that's what both of them would say...but what would Johnny say? That remained to be seen or rather, heard!
Jeff left Cliff's study and went down the to his own office, while stopping to chat with Chris who was assorting books on the shelves of his office. Jeff and Chris discussed the items on the 'must do' list while dividing their tasks evenly. There were two impending marriages scheduled the following week, the Brenner's and the Cutter's. Since neither couple had mentioned a preference as to whom would perform their ceremonies, Jeff tossed a coin and "won' the Cutter's, leaving the 'Brenner's' to Chris. There was not much difference in the two weddings as both parties wanted a high-mass ceremony. Next, Jeff and Chris looked over the patients' list at the Institute and once again all but split the roster down the middle.
They ranked their patients by the severity of the illness, placing those who might expire first at the top, leaving the ones about to be discharged from the hospital to their homes last. The order of this list was supplied by Ed, who all but knew every patient's history, diagnosis, and prognosis by memory. Over the past few years, with Cliff and especially, Jeff and Chris working side by side so closely, daily deaths and the administering of extreme unction was practically routine for all three as they had learned not to shirk from dying patients since they seemed to be in a more immediate need for a priest than those who were asking for a blessing before they returned home.
Probably because Jeff was the youngest of the three priests. he seemed to be better at seeing the children under the age of twelve by easing their painful bodies and sending their young souls into eternity. None of the deaths were easy to face for any of the St. Genesius clergy. Often, a teenager or young adult had more fear of dying at the end, especially when they were aware they were saying a final farewell to they lovers, husbands, or wives. Cliff, Chris, and Jeff confronted each case as it was the only one on their list, giving each of the patients an extra share of TLC. Although death was a daily procedure, none of the three 'fathers' ever became hardened about it.
After the hospital visits came the five o'clock confessions at the church, followed by Evening Vespers which was celebrated by only one of the three of them. At the end of the long day, Jeff paused to imagine what a full day of being the rector at St. Aloysius would be like. TWO funerals in one day? JESUS! In spite of its calling compounded by its beautiful surrounding of nature, Mackintosh could turn out to be Stress City in the long run. The only saving grace of the hectic roster of duties would be having lunch with his lover and that would be the highlight of his day...of course until he got home in the evening and made love to Johnny before and after dinner.
Jeff left Chris and continued down the hall leaving Chris to finish filing his books alphabetically when Chris' phone rang. He rushed to answer it since had hadn't spoken with Ed since breakfast.
"Hello?"
"Father Chris?"
"Yes?"
"It's me, Andy."
"Well, hello. Where are you?"
"I'm here in Briarwood."
"So soon? I didn't expect you until tomorrow or the next day."
"I...I just couldn't wait to see you!"
Andy's remark was the first inkling Chris had had that Andy's visit might become trouble. Chris seemed to sense more than 'disappointment' in Andy's voice when Chris had told him he was involved with a partner. Chris and Andy's little one night sexual fling was eight years ago when Andy was sixteen years old. Surely the kid hadn't harbored a romantic notion all these years hoping the two of them could just 'pick up' where the affair ended. After all, Andy was twenty-four or twenty-five years old now. He must have matured or grown out of his adolescent crush on Chris..
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Jeff's phone rang a few minutes after Chris', just as Jeff was about to leave to meet Johnny for lunch.
"Father Jeff." Jeff answered the phone.
"Hi, son," said the voice on the other end of the receiver.
"Hi, Dad.
"How was the trip?"
"Good, but tiring."
"Was the bridegroom happy to see you?"
Damn, now Jeff had to lie to his dad.
"I...uh felt right at home being around all the people."
"That's great. It's good for you to get away from St. Genesius and the Institute every now and then."
"How are you and Daddy Dave? I heard you had a big weekend."
"It was wonderful, Jeff. We had Little Pete and Danny for three whole days. I can't help but say, it was like having you and Alex running around the house and romping all over the place like the two of you did when you were their ages."
"How do Ryan and Kyle feel about you and Daddy Dave spoiling them rotten?"
"Says who?"
"Says me, that's who."
"I don't think I did such a bad job raising you and your brother."
"Good heavens, don't tell me they're showing signs of being gay at their ages."
Walter laughed.
"You know it wouldn't've made any difference to me if you or Alex were straight or gay. I'd love you no matter what."
"I know, Dad. I was just trying to get under your skin about your grandchildren."
"Have you weaned them off their pacifiers, yet?"
"Jeff, Danny is ten and Little Pete is eight. What are you talking about?"
"Well, I started sucking on a pacifier when I was a baby and I'm still sucking on a pacifier."
"You're incorrigible. What would Johnny say if you referred to him as your pacifier?"
"He wouldn't mind. We've been together almost eight years and he still likes me to think of him as my pacifier."
"I take back what I said a moment ago. Maybe I didn't do such a good job raising you." Walter joked.
"OK. And what about Alex? I'll bet he's still using Ted as a pacifier for nearly twelve years." Jeff joked back and the two of them laughed. "By the way, Dad, when did you last hear from my brother and my brother-in-law?"
"Saturday, as a matter of fact. I invited them both to come home for a vacation, but neither one of them can ever find time to leave their jobs for a day, much less a week. They're married to their jobs, the same as you and Johnny are."
"God, don't mention it!"
"Jeff, have you or Johnny ever talked about going away for a month or so? Say, maybe to Europe?"
"I see the inking of a conspiracy. Have you been talking to Cliff?"
"About what?"
"Cliff said the same thing to me about an hour ago."
"That's because Cliff and I love you and Johnny and we both think you should get away and take a trip."
"Well, now that you mention it. I have thought about taking Johnny on a little tour of the Northeast...like Vermont or New Hampshire, but I haven't discussed it with Johnny."
"That sounds like a wonderful idea! It's beautiful country up there."
"We're having lunch together today and maybe I'll confront him with the idea."
"If you need a little help in convincing him, I'll help, as I'm sure David, Cliff and Roger will too."
"Thanks, Dad. I may need your help. I'm glad you called but I have to scoot if I'm gonna meet Johnny at noon. By the way, was there some special reason that you called?"
"Do I need one? You're my son and that's reason enough. I love you. How's that for an excuse to call you?"
"I love you, too. Kiss Daddy Dave for me and maybe the four of us can plan dinner one night this week."
"Sounds like a winner, son."
"Bye, Dad."
"Goodbye son."
Jeff held onto the phone as he replaced it on the receiver. "So everyone around who loves me thinks that Johnny and I should go away for a while?" Jeff thought. "I wonder what they would say if they knew I was thinking about going away with Johnny for a LONG while?" he mused.
Jeff ran out the door and told Chris where to reach him in case of an emergency.
"Have a nice lunch, Jeff and give Johnny a hug for me!" Chris said as Jeff was leaving.
"Thanks, Chris."
Jeff made it to the Institute in less time than Ezekiel's 'wheel in the road'.
"Hi, sweetheart," Jeff said as he entered Johnny's office at the clinic. "Ready for lunch?"
"Hi, babe," Johnny replied. "I'm almost ready to go. You got a preference? I mean what kind of food are you in the mood for?"
"Why don't we lock your door and I'll show you?"
"Don't think I wouldn't like to, but I'm a little tired."
"You LOOK tired," Jeff said, "You didn't get more than an hour's sleep."
"So what else is new?"
"Johnny, you can't keep going at this pace. You've got to slow down or I'll be visiting you in a hospital room."
"Jeff, you have the same problems that I do; a lot of our caregiving overlaps. I treat the mind and you treat the soul. I don't see YOU slowing down in your work."
"That's because I'm younger than you."
"You twit! How much younger? A year, maybe."
"That still makes me younger!"
"Well, I don't see you walking with a cane at the bright age of twenty-four!"
"Uh oh! I can see you're in one of your moods."
"I'm not. Look, I'm sorry, babe. Come here and give me a kiss." Johnny beckoned.
"That sounds like a good idea."
Jeff walked over to Johnny's desk and planted a big tongue kiss on his lover.
"I don't think I could go on if I were to lose you like Father Cliff lost Roger when Roger went away on his trip."
"That's the way I feel about you, Johnny, and that's why I worry about you. This place CAN operate without your being here twenty-four hours a day."
"Oh, you're saying that you could find someone to replace me if I were to go on a world adventure and never come back? You got someone picked out already?"
"You KNOW better. If I should lose you, I'd join a monastery and spend the rest of my life as a celibate."
"Yeah, you and a bunch of horny old monks." Johnny said in jest.
"Wow, I hadn't thought about that!" Jeff said, playing along with Johnny's joking. "Get your coat and let's go! I'm starved. I didn't eat breakfast. How about you?"
"I've had three cups of coffee."
"Yummy, that's nutritious! Where do you want to go?"
"How's Brook's Nook?"
"Super! Now let's go."
Jeff was glad that Johnny had suggested Brook's Nook. It was quiet and the tables were secluded in individual nooks built in the walls. They could talk privately there. Heck, it was so dark and intimate you could have sex in one of the cutouts. No one would ever see except the waiter, and he was probably gay and wouldn't say anything. BUT, it wasn't sex that was on Jeff's mind, it was Mackintosh and the move.
The two of them arrived at Brook's and were seated in a corner niche, away from everybody. There were no windows and the lighting was so dim, if you weren't wearing a watch you'd never know whether it was daylight or dark outside.
Johnny decided he'd have breakfast and Jeff ordered the same... an orange souffle omelet laced with Amaretto, spicy French sausage rolled in crepes. The waiter took the order and gave Jeff and Johnny a 'knowing' smile.
"Who was that waiter coming onto...you or me?" Johnny asked.
"More than likely, me."
"Why you? Oh yeah, I remember, you're younger."
"See age does make a difference." Jeff joked.
"Did you sleep well?" Johnny asked.
"Yes, considering I had a difficult time going back to sleep when you left. I had to masturbate three times."
"Are you kidding?"
"Don't ask and I won't tell." Jeff said smugly.
"Were you fantasizing about me?" Johnny asked.
"Good Lord! YOU? I've had you. I have to fantasize about guys I've never had."
"Three times? My God! Who the hell were you fantasizing about? Who takes three orgasms to get you off?"
"Well, number one was Brad Pitt; the second, Jude Law; and I saved the best for last, Colin Farrell."
"Brad, Jude, and Colin? I guess I'm in good company with those three. After all, I'm the one you married."
"And I'm gonna stayed married to you as long as you don't kill yourself working day and night at the clinic."
"Oh, we're back on THAT again?"
"I was going to ask you about the two guys that 'offed' themselves last night, but I don't want to talk about the clinic."
"OK, we'll talk about the wedding you went to," Johnny said, sipping his water. "You promised to tell me all about it, so talk!"
Jeff hesitated and reached for his water goblet. He drank all the water to stall for time. The moment that Jeff feared had come to pass.
"Johnny." Jeff started, halfway dropping his eyes. "Johnny, I lied to you. I...I didn't go to a wedding?"
"Didn't Doug get married?"
"I don't know. Heck, I haven't talked with him in almost six months. I don't even know it he has a steady girlfriend."
"Well, since you told me you lied, do I want you to tell me the rest...where you actually were and with whom?"
"I...I went to New Hampshire."
"Why for God's sake? Why New Hampshire. Did you go alone?"
"Yes."
"Did you go to meet with someone?"
"Yes, but it's not what you think."
"What's his name?"
"Frank...Frank Madsen."
"You'd better stop, Jeff! I don't think I want to hear about this."
"I TOLD you it's not what you think. I didn't cheat on you if that's what you're worried about."
"All right then, why did you drive hundreds of miles to see Frank Mattson?"
"Madsen?"
"Sorry, all right, Frank Madsen. Who is he?"
Jeff took a big breath and began telling Johnny every detail about his trip, including the ice cream parlor and the ovation he received after making a small speech. Johnny listened intensely to Jeff's saga. Johnny's face didn't change expressions one time during the entire monologue. Jeff had been interrupted while the waiter brought their order. The food sat there. Neither of them picked up a fork to eat until Jeff was finished with his story.
"There, now you know everything," Jeff said.
Johnny exhaled a long sigh. "Jesus! You wanna move to Mackintosh?"
"I don't know. It all depends on how you feel about the idea."
"The ENTIRE population has HIV or AIDS?"
"So Frank told me."
"God, Jeff, I don't know what to say."
"I tried to put myself in your shoes to see what I would say if you had gone to Mackintosh secretly without me."
"I have the clinic, here!" Johnny said.
"Yes, and I have one of the largest Anglican churches on the eastern seacoast, or at least it will be mine some day."
"Just drop everything and go? Is that what you plan to do?"
"Only if the two of us make the same decision."
"And if I say, 'no'?"
"Then, I'll just forget about the whole thing."
"But that's not what you want to do, is it, Jeff?"
"Johnny, I've made no decision. Nothing is set in stone. I'd only consider going if we went together. I'd never leave you, even if I no longer worked at St. Genesius!"
"But aren't you happy, doing what you're doing?"
"Yes, babe, but I'm not challenged. Mackintosh is a challenge to me."
"You can say THAT again." Johnny replied, cutting into his souffle for the first time and starting to eat. "Three-hundred-fifty dollars a week, huh? Damn, that's less than the guy who cleans up vomit at the clinic makes. What would I be doing and how in hell could we live off that little money. Even if I were matching your income, it still wouldn't be enough for us to live on. That brings up the next topic. Just what the fuck am I supposed to do in Mackintosh? Be a postman?"
"No, they have a postman."
"Great! Do they need a sanitation worker? I'm good at emptying garbage cans, but I doubt if Mackintosh pays their sanitation workers more than minimum wage."
Johnny took two bites of his food, hoping that time would give him the courage to tell Johnny his other secret.
"Johnny," Jeff said, putting down his fork and drinking from the new goblet of water. "As long as I'm getting everything out in the open. There's something else I have to tell you."
"Good God! I don't think I can take any more of your 'secrets'! Don't tell me that you told Frank that you'd take the job."
"NO!" Jeff interrupted him. "I would never do that unless we both came to the same decision."
"Thank God for that! Is this where you tell me you've found someone else that will go to Mackintosh with you and leave me?"
"NO! I'm NOT gonna leave you ever! It...well, it sorta involves that three-fifty salary you're worrying about."
"Oh, now you're gonna tell me that if you take the job, you'll work for free."
"No, I hadn't thought about that...but it is something to consider."
"Jeff, you're being ridiculous! You're behaving like a prepubescent teenager."
"I thought you liked me like that."
"Only when we're alone in our bedroom, making love."
Jeff smiled but then his face became serious.
"When Roger almost died...well, my dad is his lawyer, and only he knew how rich Roger is. Everyone was aware he had an abundant wealth, but no one, not even Cliff, his lover, knew how extensive his estate actually is,"
"I know he has enough to build the Institute, the hospital, and the clinic. That must've cost zillions!
"That was his endowment to Briarwood and the gay communities throughout the world. But that was not the personal trusts he made. He included my brother Alex, Jay and Troy, Kyle and Ryan, Rob and Timmy, and me."
"I suppose the next thing you've kept from me was that he left you a million dollars or something?"
"No...not a million...ten million!"
Johnny's face turned as white as sheet washed in OxyClean."
"Are you serious?...You're kidding? Right?"
"I was only seventeen years old when he went away. Roger put ten million in trust for me until I was twenty-one."
"You mean, you're NOT kidding?"
"No, I haven't touched a cent of it. It's just been sitting in the bank accumulating interest for seven years. There's probably more than that by now. Only my dad knows how much."
"Jesus Christ, when you mentioned Roger had given all you Briarwood Boys part of his fortune, I assumed you were talking about, say, ten-thousand dollars! Why in God's green earth couldn't you find the time or trust me enough to tell me it was TEN MILLION?"
"I, or rather, we didn't need it. I'm making good money, as you are, and there's never been a reason to touch any of it."
"Oh, you were afraid I'd marry you for your money?"
"No, silly, when I became twenty-one, I had my dad put the account in both our names. So whatever is there...well, half, or all of it, in the event of my death, belongs to you."
"Jesus! You are so full of surprises! I'm speechless! I don't know what to say!"
"Nothing. Money couldn't change the way we love each other. I WOULD'VE told you. if we had needed it. To be frank, it kinda embarrasses me when I think about it. I just felt keeping it a secret would be the best thing. God, I've felt so guilty! I've wanted to tell you about it so often, but I didn't know how you would react. I must say, you're taking it better than I thought."
"Now I see why three-hundred dollars a week didn't seem to faze you! Damn! You mean we're millionaires?"
"Yep."
"All right, let me ask one favor of you."
"Anything."
"Let's just sit here and finish our meal without either of us saying a word. Let some of this news digest into my psyche. I wouldn't have been more dumbfounded if you had told me you had had a sex change and was carrying our baby! Agreed?"
"That's fine. I won't say a word,"
The two of them ate their meal slowly. Jeff wasn't sure if Johnny even knew what he was eating as Johnny sat there putting food in his mouth while staring into space as if he were in some kind of stupor.
The waiter finally broke the silence by asking if either of them would like a pastry for dessert. They politely refused. Johnny had finished eating and wiped his lips with the red-clothed napkin.
At long last, Johnny reached into his inner coat pocket for a cigarette and began to speak. "Jeff, when you were growing up, you had a very successful lawyer for a father. You didn't have to eat twenty-five cent White Castle burgers out of necessity because they were all you could afford. I bet you never had a pair of shoes resoled or heels replaced. You never had to go to a discount movie and pass on popcorn because you couldn't afford it. You always had a good meal three times a day. You never had to put extra blankets on your bed because your father couldn't afford to run the gas heat at night. I'll bet you never wore clothes from the Goodwill or K-Mart. You probably had a dog, not just the neighbor's dog that you petted and pretended it was yours. But, I did all these things and more. I lived poorly...grew up with poor people and learned to sympathize with them. When I got my first 'good-paying' job, I gave half of it away for food and clothing on the guys and their parents that I'd grown up with. I swore I'd become a champion of the underprivileged. Then, when I was about sixteen, I discovered I was gay. Personally, I was lucky because every gay friend I had, died when the AIDS virus hit so big. I helped all I could with my meager income. I worked at clinics and suicide prevention phone jobs, doing all I could to help. Then a couple of years later, I was contacted by you to assist you in some cockamamie debate with a red neck preacher. Well, I had no idea I would fall in love with you, nor would I eventually wind up with the position I have now, let alone, the humongous salary I'm making. I guess I owe a lot or most of my success to you."
"No, you don't," Jeff managed to say.
"Now, don't interrupt I listened to your Mackintosh proposal, so now it's my turn to talk."
"Sorry," Jeff muttered, still feeling embarrassed by his revelations to Johnny.
"You say there are thirty-five hundred residents in Mackintosh?"
"More or less, to quote Frank," Jeff said.
"And they all have AIDS, or at least HIV infected?"
"Yes."
"Would you mind if I go see for myself?"
Jeff's face brightened by Johnny's sudden question."
"Are you serious?" Jeff asked.
"If you feel that you love the place, then there must be some kind of attraction. So, the least I could do, would be to go for a weekend visit?"
"Johnny!" Jeff said, fighting back tears. "How soon would you want to go?"
"Well, the longer you take to make up your mind, the longer the residents will be without a priest."
"When, then?"
"How about THIS weekend?"
Jeff was ecstatic! He was like a kid whose dad had just invited him to go see Disney World for the first time. He smiled and tried to lighten the conversation.
"Gee, I don't know, Johnny. I just got back yesterday and well, geez, I don't know if we both could afford to make another trip."
"You have any money?"
"A dollar or two in the bank. You?"
"The same, I guess...Jesus Christ! We're millionaires?"
"Yep, and you've been one for over three years. You just didn't know about it."
"Were you afraid I'd write a big check and run off to find a new boyfriend or husband?"
"Don't think the idea didn't cross my mind."
"Honey, baby! I married you when I didn't have a cent. Do you think I would love you less because I suddenly became rich?"
"In that case, you won't live to spend any of it?"
"You'd shoot me over money?"
"No, but I'd try to fuck you to death."
"God, what a way to go!"
"Are you still mad at me?"
"There's just one more thing."
" Oh God, what?"
"What ELSE are you keeping from me?"
"Nothing, Johnny, I swear by all that's holy. There are no more secrets and no more lies. I promise you on our love."
"Then, if you can get away from the church, we'll drive to Mackintosh this weekend."
"God, I love you!" Jeff exclaimed and kissed Johnny there in the restaurant for all to see!
Their kiss was short-lived by the waiter standing at the table with the check. He cleared his throat rather loudly. The kiss embarrassed the waiter more than it did Jeff and Johnny.
"Will there be anything else, sirs?" the waiter asked.
"No thanks." Johnny said, reaching for the small silver tray that held the check.
"No, no, my treat." Jeff insisted.
Jeff grabbed the bill and read it. It was for $35.00. Jeff looked at Johnny and asked, "How much cash do you have on you?"
"You broke?"
"No."
"I've got maybe $150.00 in my wallet."
"Let me have it."
Johnny opened his billfold and handed Jeff a one hundred dollar bill, two twenties, a ten, two fives, and several ones. Johnny counted out the twenty, the ten, and a five and handed it to the waiter.
"This is for the food," Jeff said. Then he took the hundred-dollar bill and gave it to the waiter, "This is for you."
"Thank you, sir," the waiter replied in astonishment and walked slowly away from the table.
"Why did you do that?" Johnny asked.
"We can afford it...and besides, I think the waiter needed to have his shoes re-soled."
Johnny took a long look at his lover and smiled. "No wonder I married you."
"You just now figured that out?"
"No, I knew it the moment I first saw you."
"Me, too. Now let's get out of here. We both have rounds to make at the hospital."
They left Brook's Nook, not knowing when either of them had been happier. As they were getting back into the car, Johnny stopped and asked, "Hey, you didn't ever sleep with your 'Uncle Roger', did you?"
"Good Lord, no!"
"He must love you the way I do."
"He loves me but definitely NOT the way you do! Now I want you to take a nap when we get home because I intend keeping you up all night!"
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It wasn't too difficult for Jeff and Johnny to get away for the weekend. After all, it was Cliff, Roger and Walter's idea for them to take some time off. Jeff and Johnny didn't lie about the purpose of the New Hampshire excursion, they had told everyone that they were driving to God knows where up in New England...maybe do a little mountain hiking, camping, fishing, or whatever. Johnny insisted on doing most of the driving. Jeff watched him out of the corner of his eye. He saw Johnny's facial expressions and his body language relaxing the further they got away from Briarwood and the woes of the Cole Clinic. The air was crisp and invigorating. The countryside was beautiful as the two of them made their way through mountain passes overlooking glens that appeared to be hidden away from civilization. "Could there be more places like Mackintosh that I've never heard of?" Jeff thought to himself.
Johnny still wasn't convinced that the move was the right thing to do. In his mind, he envisioned Mackintosh as being a beautiful AIDS respite like a disguised colony for lepers in some exotic setting.
"You tired?" Jeff asked.
"Nope," Johnny replied.
"Let me know when you want me to drive. OK?"
"Sure."
"I'm so glad that we were able to take this trip, even if we don't accept Frank's offer. Do you realize this is our first vacation together in almost eight years?"
"Yes, the thought occurred to me."
"We could sorta count this as our belated honeymoon." Jeff said, smiling.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! That's all you ever think about!" Johnny joked.
"Only because I'm so much younger than you,"
"You're never going to let me live down that remark, are you?"
"Well, now that you mention it, Methuselah, most husbands would be proud to have a young horny mate."
"Most husbands would drop dead from exhaustion trying to satisfy a mate as horny as you."
"When's the last time you had a medical checkup?"
"Last month. Why?"
"And how was your EKG and BP?"
"Normal."
"Whew! That's a relief. Maybe the two of us should resort to more oral sex. That wouldn't tax your body as much." Jeff said, still playing along with the joke. This was a custom they had developed over their years together. They would play act various scenarios for hours at a time.
"Have I told you today that I love you?" Johnny said.
"Now that you mention it, you haven't!"
"Well, I do."
"I love you, too, Johnny."
"Listen, don't forget your promise that you won't get angry at me if I don't like Mackintosh...and you'll be honest with me!"
"That was part of the deal and I'll live up to it!"
"Wanna stop for a bite to eat?" Johnny asked.
"We don't have to stop! Just keep driving and I'll unzip your pants."
"You sex maniac! I want something to eat...FOOD!"
"Oh, in that case. I'll settle for a burger and fries...for now."
Johnny laughed. "That's why I love you. You've got all the money in the world; to buy anything you like to eat; and you never stray from your boyish burger and fries."
"I like 'em. Why settle for Chateaubriand when all I want is ground beef and greasy potatoes?"
"That's what I used to think every time I looked in the mirror and thought why you would want to love me?"
"Well, believe you me, I'd never call you ground beef...maybe chopped liver." Jeff said, laughing.
The two of them kept up with the quips until they found a roadside inn and stopped to eat. They were having fun, as when they first got together. It was as if the clock rolled back and they were two teenagers going on their first date.
Jeff insisted on driving the rest of the way. He wanted Johnny to see the beauty of the land and drink in his first impression of Mackintosh. As they approached the city limits, Jeff stopped the car on one of the mountain peaks and invited Johnny to survey the tiny hamlet from above.
"It's quaint, all right." Johnny said, and then added, "It's certainly hidden, too. They DO have running water and indoor toilets, don't they?"
"Yeah, and electricity and phones with buttons that you can block all incoming calls. Come on, I want you to see Main Street in broad daylight."
The shops, buildings, and houses were just as Jeff had described them...like a Lilliput for grownups. Each structure was painted with a bright color but the hues didn't clash with the building next to it. It was as if the whole village had had a master architect designing the matching color scheme...like a rainbow.
"It's beautiful, Jeff."
"I think so, too,"
"Where's St. Aloysius?"
"Way down at the other end of the town. It's kinda off to itself on a sloped meadow."
"And where would we be living?"
"I don't know. I didn't want Frank to show me the manse just in case I liked it and became attached to it.
"Good. That's one thing we can share together."
Jeff didn't want to build his hopes up too high, but he was elated over the fact that Johnny had only "plus" comments and no negatives. Jeff knew Johnny well enough to know when he was faking, and Johnny seemed quite sincere with his compliments.
"Jeff, do you have any idea what I could do up here?"
"A few. Don't you have some ideas, too?"
"Yeah, a couple." Johnny replied. "The first thing I would like to know is why these guys choose to live out their lives and not seek some of the treatments that we provide at the Institute? It's as if they were choosing early deaths, rather that fight the fight. There should be a center, right in the heart of town where guys and gals could come to and let someone steer them in the right direction. Probably some or most could stabilize themselves into remission. You know of the advanced medicine and treatment that we provide in Briarwood, Someone needs to tell them about it and point them in another direction from the inevitable crematory."
"And who is that 'someone' you're talking about? Any name come to mind?"
Johnny realized he had talked himself into a corner and there would be hell to pay for a semi-commitment he had just made without a positive resolution.
Jeff drove slowly down Main Street. A few of the guys that Jeff had met at the ice cream parlor raised their hands when the recognized him. Some shouted, "Hey Father!" Jeff waved back at them and with his peripheral vision he saw Johnny smiling.
"You must've made a pretty good hit with the folks around here," Johnny said, waving too. "You think they know who I am and why we're here?"
"Probably," Jeff smiled. "You've been gay long enough to know that 'ladies about the town' can't keep secrets."
"Unless the 'lady' happens to be a priest!" Johnny quipped.
"Johnny, close your eyes and keep them closed until I say it's all right to open 'em. OK?"
"Why?"
"Just do as I say," Jeff commanded.
Jeff continued his drive though the town until he drove to the bottle of the slight hill where St. Aloysius stood.
"All right now, keep your eyes closed until I get you out of the car."
"This is stupid," Johnny uttered.
Jeff got out of the drivers side and opened the passenger door for Johnny. He led Johnny to the best possible view of the church.
"Now open 'em!" Johnny said.
Johnny obeyed and stood still for a few moments to let his eyes adjust and see the beauty of the structure.
"Jeff, it's...it's..."
"Ssssh! Don't say a word until you've seen the insides. I don't want to hear any comment from you pro or con until then,"
Jeff took Johnny by the hand and pulled him up the slight slope. He was reminded of one of Uncle Roger's favorite DVD's, where Jennifer Jones had pulled William Holden up a similar hill to enjoy the view.
Jeff led Johnny into the church as each of them stopped to dip their fingers in the holy water and cross themselves. They then walked up to the altar rail, genuflected, and knelt. Jeff closed his eyes to pray, while Johnny who wasn't too fond of praying, stared at the altar and the crucifix hanging above it. Johnny turned his head to observe the tiny stained glass windows and the little pews that looked to be hand carved on the ends. To Johnny, it looked like a chapel built for Sleeping Beauty's castle in Disney World. St. Genesius, back home in Briarwood, would rival the splendor of St. John the Divine's in New York with all the statues of the Apostles and various saints, and all the gold filigree on the altar, railing, columns, etc. St. Genesius was definitely the kind of church that Roger would have built if God had told him to rebuild Solomon's Temple.
But this church...this tiny church was so austere and reverent. It gave the idea of religion a whole new dimension. It gave Johnny a warm, peaceful glow inside him. He continued his visual tour making a 180 until he saw Jeff's eyes closed in prayer.
"So this is what enamored Jeff." Johnny thought, "No wonder he became captivated by it. This is Jeff's dream. How could I possibly ruin it for him? Marriage is give and take. Jeff has given me so much...my life, my career, and his love. How much of a sacrifice would it be for me to repay him with this move?" Johnny's gaze returned to the altar, and now, he closed his eyes and prayed. When he sensed that Jeff had finished his prayer, Johnny opened his eyes and looked into Jeff's.
"Now you can tell me what you think," Jeff said. "But, remember, whatever you say must be totally honest and from your heart."
"Look at my face, Jeff. Tell me what you see."
"I see the one person in life I love more than life itself."
"Does my face tell you anything about how I feel?"
"After nearly eight years, we both know how to read one another's faces."
"Then you know how I feel."
"Yes, but just this once, I want you to say it out loud."
"I think Ruth said it to Naomi better than I...'Whither thou goest, I will go...and your people shall be my people...and your house and land shall be my house and land."
It was impossible to say which of them burst into tears first. Jeff knew that Johnny had just committed himself and he loved him even more, if that were possible. The two of them embraced and kissed softly, still kneeling before the altar. Neither of them was aware they had been seen and were still being watched.
"Mmm hmn," came a sound from behind them...someone clearing his throat. "Am I interrupting?" Frank asked.
"No," Jeff turned and replied, "Hi, Frank, this is Johnny."
"I hoped and prayed that it would be. I hoped he wasn't somebody new that you had met along the way up here."
"Nope, he's mine forever."
"Hello, Johnny," Frank said, offering his hand to shake.
"Hi, Frank," Johnny said, a bit embarrassed to be caught kissing in public...and at a church at that! "Jeff told me wonderful things about you."
"I'll bet he told me more about you than me, you," Frank said, smiling.
"Jeff...or rather Father Jeff has always had a gift of blarney, even though I don't think he's Irish." Johnny replied, shaking Frank's hand.
"May I be presumptuous in asking how long you plan to visit?" Frank asked.
"The whole weekend...maybe longer!" Jeff quickly retorted.
"That's wonderful." Frank said. "I hope you get to meet most of the residents. We're having a party at the Powder Puff Pub tomorrow night. I'd like both of you to attend. Normally it lasts until midnight but we can stay longer since we don't have to get up early for church the next day."
"Why not? No mass on Sunday?" Jeff asked.
"No priest...no mass."
"I'm here! I can celebrate mass with you." Jeff added.
"I don't know if that's wise, Father."
"Why not?"
"Suppose everyone came and fell in love with you and you came to a conclusion you didn't want to become our rector. It might cause more heartache than good."
Jeff knew he was being put on the spot. He was a bit uncomfortable, especially since he and Johnny hadn't talked the proposal all the way through.
"Yes, Frank, I realize that," Jeff said, "but there IS the possibility that they won't like me."
"I doubt that, Padre." Johnny said to Jeff.
"You wouldn't object?" Jeff asked his lover.
"Hell, no! Excuse me, Frank, that's one husband talking to another."
"Whaddya say we give it a try, Frank?" Jeff asked, more enthusiastically.
"I suppose, maybe...if you really want to."
"I don't have any vestments with me though,"
"There are dozens of vestments in the priest's vestry. Some of them you'd probably never want to wear."
"How so?"
"Have you ever seen a priest's robe designed by a drag queen?"
"No."
"You've got a lot to see then. Father Phillips never wore any of them either. He, as I, didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but some are them are rather outlandish...colors, fabrics, beads, even sequins."
Jeff and Johnny laughed together.
"I gotta see them, Frank! My curiosity is getting the best of me."
"Well, don't say you weren't warned." Frank added.
The priest's wardrobe was a hoot and a half. Every time Jeff would see one that was bizarre, he would find the next one even more so. Frank joined them as they gleefully cheered over each vestment. There were many which were much more reserved, that Jeff could choose from. But Jeff had his own private joke imagining how Father Cliff would look in some of the wild garments.
"Is there a motel or a place we can stay?" Johnny asked.
"You can stay at my house. But I only have one bed in the guestroom, unless that presents a problem."
"I think we can manage sharing a bed," Johnny replied. "We've been sharing the same bed for almost eight years. So, yes, we'll take you up on your offer. But you will let us buy the food as long as we're here."
"Fair enough." Frank said. "Now I'm going to be the envy of dozens of queens because you're staying at my house and not theirs."
"We could split up and one of us could stay with someone else, if that's better." Johnny offered.
"Like hell, we will. You won't sleep in another bed while I'm within shouting distance," Jeff exclaimed.
"Good heavens," Frank chided, "do I detect a note of jealousy... after all these years?"
Jeff thought a second before answering, "You know, come to think of it, neither of us has ever been jealous."
"We've never given the other a reason to be jealous, Frank," Johnny added.
"I swear, I keep trying to find something wrong with you, Jeff. Something I can blame, if you decide not to accept our offer. But the more I'm around you, well, you seem to get better with each moment."
"Oh, he has his flaws, Frank. Believe me!" Johnny said.
"Well, I hope I never find one. You'll warn me if he's erring, won't you?"
"I won't have to. You'll see it for yourself."
"I'm curious, Jeff, what would it take to get your dander up?" Frank asked.
"Let me answer that!" Johnny interrupted. "Just let Jeff see someone deprive another of his rights, or let some politician come down on the gay community and Jeff becomes a tiger with a buzz saw in his mouth. He's fought so many battles for gays that if the entire population should band together, they would elect Jeff, President of the Gay United States."
"Well, you were fighting the cause just as hard, or more so, when we first met."
"My God, what a team the two of you must make." Frank said, proudly.
"That's right, Frank, we ARE a team. So if you want one of us, you'll have to take both." Jeff said.
"I'm glad you brought that up," Frank replied. "We, older gays, have been talking since your visit here, Jeff. Don't think any of us have never heard of Johnny and the work he has done! We're more than aware of it. AND, we also discussed what we could offer Johnny if it meant that you wouldn't accept our proposal without him."
"Did you come to any conclusion?" Jeff asked.
"We had quite a few ideas," Frank said. "The problem, of course, is the salary. No matter what job we offer Johnny...I mean, even if he were elected Mayor of Mackintosh, it wouldn't come close to what he's making now, I'm sure."
"You tell me the ideas, and let ME worry about the money!" Johnny said, a bit stronger.
"If you could choose to do anything you wished in Mackintosh, Johnny, what would it take to entice you? I realized that's an impertinent question, considering you've only been here less than an hour, and haven't met anyone except me."
"Frank, when we drove through town. Dozens of guys waved at Jeff. He didn't know them personally, but the way they looked at him, they looked like they knew him. They NEEDED him. I know how much he means to me and all his parishioners, my clients, and the hospital patients. Gays with the disease are the same anywhere...with the same feelings of hopelessness and despair...the same fear of death...the loneliness they feel...the unacceptance they've been shown by their families and so-called friends. I've worked with guys like that for over ten years. I know all about them! I know what they want; what they need; and what they can expect after they've been disappointed or rejected...all too many times! If I can help one, or if I can help all thirty-five hundred, then I can do it here as well as Briarwood or anywhere else."
Johnny's blatant honesty brought tears to Frank's eyes. Jeff's eyes were full too.
Frank's voice quivered as he tried to compose himself. "You'll have to forgive me if what you've just said chokes me up a bit. I've never heard anyone voice such dedication. I doubt if my late, Jack, ever heard it either. I wish to God, I could record your speech and blast it throughout Congress and the White House for all to hear. Jesus! It's quite difficult to determine which of you is the preacher."
Jeff eyed Johnny and socked him gently on the shoulder.
"Johnny, let me put it this way. You know your talent best, and what you can do to help us more than we know ourselves. Why don't you just create a position...call it any name you like...commissioner of whatever. You decide, and we'll make the salary offer as large as we can budget it."
"How much are they going to pay you Jeff?"
Frank spoke up. "Four hundred dollars a week."
"I thought you told me three-fifty, Jeff."
"I did."
"Well, that's before we had our little meeting."
"Why don't you offer Jeff, three-fifty, as you did before, and that way you can afford to pay me two-fifty per week?"
Frank's face lit up with disbelief! It was like a 'third miracle'.
"I...I don't know what to say." Frank said, again fighting tears. "Am I to presume that you're both saying 'yes'?"
"We haven't discussed it between us, yet." Jeff said.
"Do we have to?" Johnny asked looking into Jeff's eyes. "Don't you want to move here?"
"Yes, I do, but only on the condition that you do too, and you're happy with your decision."
"Father Babe, you said it just a moment ago. We're a team...for now and always. We think alike we react the same way. We both fight the same dragons and windmills. And we love each other as we always have. What makes YOU happy makes ME happy...and vice versa."
"Does the vice versa mean that you want to move here too." Jeff asked in his Jeffrey boyish way.
"Yes, babe, I want to move here with you."
"God, Johnny, you are so wonderful. I could never thank the Almighty enough, for giving me you."
"The Almighty had nothing to do with it. I gave myself to you when you gave yourself to me."
The two of them hugged unashamed in front of Frank. Frank could feel the love pouring out of the two young men standing before him.
Jeff released Johnny to ask, "Frank, we're gonna need a place to stay. I mean we can't live with you."
"We have a manse, but believe me, when you're ready to move into it, it won't look as it does now. You've never seen the way frustrated queers can hammer. They'll remodel the whole place! Just you wait!"
"I suppose we ought to make some kind of time frame of assuming our duties here," Johnny said.
"How long do you recommend?" Frank asked.
"I suppose we could tie all our loose ends together in Briarwood and be ready to move...say in thirty days? Is that enough, babe?"
"A month sounds good!" Jeff replied.
"Then, your house will be ready thirty days from today." Frank said, joining into their hug. "Now, let's go drum up some sinners!!"
They laughed and the three of them walked arm and arm out of the church. The first place they stopped, of course, was the ice cream parlor. Word spread around the residents faster than the whirlwind that led the Children of Israel out of Egypt. The parlor was packed with spectators and greeters to get a look at the man they hoped would be their new mentor and the mentor's boyfriend.
Those who had never met, or seen Jeff on his first visit, crowded around him, patting him on the back, shaking his hand, giving him hugs. Others who were not sure which one Jeff was. were doing the same things to Johnny. Just in case they were greeting the wrong person, they wanted to cover both bases.
It was impossible to know which of the two, Jeff or Johnny, was more elated. They both had friends in Briarwood, who would live and die for them, but these guys and gals...these Mackintosh residents exuded a different feeling than the Briarwood clan...a feeling of need, want, and desire for someone to give them hope. Johnny felt it instantly, looking into face after face and accepting the embraces of everyone who could get near him.
Johnny remained steadfast at this celebration until he knew he was going to breakdown with emotion. He somehow excused himself to use the toilet. He made his way into the yellow and white bathroom, retreating into one of the booths where he locked the door and wept openly by himself, Johnny had spent ten years of his life working with HIV and AIDS patients. He had held their hands while they took their last breaths. He had closed their eyes when they had died. He had witnessed several cures and seen guys getting both good and bad news from their doctors, but never in his life, had Johnny felt more needed. This place! This hidden Avon in the mists of the White Mountains of New Hampshire had solely enraptured him in less than two hours. Johnny thought that if there was such a thing as Divine Intervention, this was positive proof that it existed. He composed himself, wiped his eyes and washed his face with cold water before returning to the revelry in the parlor.
When he returned, the crowd had gathered around Jeff in a semi-circle and were chanting, "Speech! Speech! Speech!". Jeff raised his hands to quieten them down and spoke in the now, silent room.
Jeff's voice broke from tears of joy and elation, "Guys! Guys and gals! The last time I made a short speech to you. I don't intend to do that today." The crowd made an "ooh" disappointed sound. "I want you to meet the other half of my life. In case some you hadn't already figured out that I'm gay." This brought tittles of laughter, and Jeff continued. "Some of you have had lovers...some never have had a steady lover, I suppose, but God has graced me with mine for over seven years. Those of you that get to know me will already know him, because we, two, make up the sum of us. His name is Johnny. That's him over there...the one whose eyes are swollen from crying, in case you haven't noticed. I love him more than life and he loves me." The crowd broke into applause and whistles. "The reason I'm not going to give you a speech or any words of wisdom is because, day after tomorrow, I'll be conducting mass at your St. Aloysius. and if you want to hear what I have to say...well, just be there on Sunday." Spontaneous applause erupted. "Looking at this big crowd, I somehow feel you won't all be able to get in at one service. So, I'll be celebrating mass at seven-thirty for you non-drinkers; nine o'clock mass for the casual drinkers; and eleven AM for those of you who party late at the Powder Puff Pub." This brought hysterical laughter and a huge round of applause. "And now if you'll forgive me, I want to go and show Johnny the rest of the town, if all of you will help me."
The large gathering inside and outside of the parlor parted the way to the door as each one of them tried to invite Jeff and Johnny to visit their stores or houses. It was like several hundred guides trying to show the city to two tourists.
There was plenty of time and Jeff and Johnny didn't stop until they had entered every store and shop on Main Street. Guys were offering them free goods and samples...anything, that might make the two guests remember them.
It was nearly seven-thirty before Jeff and Johnny arrived at Frank's house. Frank had left them around five to go home to prepare dinner. They arrived at Frank's, exhausted but exuberant from the afternoon visitations.
Frank showed them to the guestroom where they placed their luggage on the bed. Johnny smiled at the decor of the bedroom, consisting of various frills and brightly colored knickknacks and folderol.
"Tired?" Jeff asked Johnny.
"Yes, but 'good' tired." Johnny replied.
"You guys hungry?" Frank yelled from the kitchen.
"Starved!" Jeff yelled back at him.
"The bathroom is down the hall on your right. I placed clean towels and washcloths for you by the lavatory if you want to freshen up a bit before you eat. Dinner is ready."
"Thanks, Frank," Johnny called back to him.
The two of them washed their hands and faces and went into the dining room. The room was dark, only lighted with candles. The china, crystal, and silverware were placed so properly on a long white damask tablecloth. The set up looked like a French restaurant you'd see in the pages of Cuisine magazine.
"Wow!" Jeff exclaimed.
"Thank you, Jeff." Frank said to Jeff's response. "The dinnerware consists of things that Jack and I collected on our various tours of Europe."
"Everything's beautiful, Frank." Johnny added.
"You two are actually the first guests I've entertained since Jack's passing. I thought tonight, being such a special occasion, Jack would want me to do it up brown."
"You and Jack had such elegant taste." Jeff said.
"No, not I. That was mostly Jack. He taught me how to appreciate the better things in life. Jack came from a wealthy family and he spent our life together teaching me to appreciate good food, fine wine, and longhaired music. I, on the other hand, had to grow up on cheap meals, bought with food stamps, when we could get them. I only had one pair of shoes for four years. I kept getting them resoled."
This remark brought an immediate eye-contact between Jeff and Johnny. They exchanged a 'knowing' smile between them.
"Jack paid for my schooling at the Ft. Lauderdale School of Culinary Arts and I became a chef...just for him. I wanted our life together to simulate the kind he had known before me."
The meal was more like a feast, consisting of canard roti, dressage de chataigne, souffle d'igname de chine, and cocotte en terre de broccoli, and a bottle of imported Chablis. For dessert, Frank had prepared his own recipe combining Cherries Jubilee with Bananas Flambe. It was heavenly.
Even though, Johnny was the only occasional smoker between the two, it seemed only fair to end the evening with a cigar and a snifter of Courvoisier while they listened to Leontyne Price's Puccini Arias on CD...a perfect finish for a perfect 'new' day.
Jeff and Johnny said their goodnights to Frank and drifted off to the guestroom where they undressed and plopped into bed. They lay on their backs, naked, for a long time, staring at the ceiling, reliving the past twelve hours.
It was Jeff who made the first move to disturb their reverie by rolling his body next to Johnny's. Johnny followed Jeff's lead, and the two of them were breathing into each other's face. Instantly, their arms enveloped the other's body and they kissed...long and passionately. They stopped at the same time to catch their breath.
"Do you realize this is the first moment we've had all day to talk and be alone?" Johnny asked, pecking at Jeff's lips.
"Yeah, I know."
They kissed once more.
"Johnny? What do you think? Is this what you really want?"
"If it's what you want, then I want it too,"
"I knew you would say that...but, please don't placate, patronize, or try to condescend me. Is this what YOU want?"
"Yes, my love. I could live with you here, Briarwood, or Timbuktu. It really wouldn't matter as long as we're together." Johnny replied. "I saw it in their faces. They NEED you here...and I saw it in your face...YOU need THEM."
"I know. I thought I read in your eyes that YOU needed them too."
"Was I THAT obvious?"
"You think I don't know your thoughts?"
"I know you do...and you're right. We could do wonders here, Jeff, the two of us."
"God, this is the happiest day of my life." Jeff sighed into Johnny's ear, while waiting for Johnny's verbal response. "Can you say that, Johnny?"
"No, not really, because every day with you is the happiest day of my life."
Jeff pressed harder into Johnny and their bodies meshed together. They made love, non-stop, for the next two hours.
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The next day, Jeff and Johnny drove around town exploring and visiting many of the residents in their homes. Everyone greeted them as long lost brothers. Every place they stopped, someone insisted that the two of them sample some of his homemade goodies...candy, cake, pie, cookies, cupcakes...on and on until they were about to burst or go into insulin shock. Neither of them refused anything that was offered for fear they would hurt someone's feelings. They became so stuffed, they thought it best to quit the visitations before they choked on another ladyfinger.
They drove through the hilly countryside, got out of the car, and wandered though small fir forests, shady glens,and waded in rippling waterfalls. They stopped at an enormous crystal blue lake which was mirroring the sky above, filled with fluffy cumulus clouds...and the mountains...those glorious mountains. Everything was perfect and a site to behold! This must've been what Eden looked like! No, if Eve had lived here, she wouldn't have eaten that eggplant or whatever and got kicked out. It was going to be difficult to leave this place for a short while until their return. Another reality dawned on them... LEAVING BRIARWOOD! How could they explain any of this to everyone...all their family and friends? What would Father Cliff do without Jeff? How would the clinic continue to operate without Johnny's guidance? What would they do with their home and their furniture? Leave it? Sell it? Give it away? What to keep and what not to? All these decisions to make in thirty days seemed like their first drawback about leaving Briarwood.
Neither of them spoke of these things, but since the two of them thought alike. they kept their worries to themselves. Were they being foolish? Had they become too whimsical by this fantasyland? They didn't dare look at each other for fear that the other would see the doubt in each other's face. Instead, they walked hand and hand squeezing them harder as the reticent doubts popped into their minds. This was a form of communication that each of them understood without saying a word to discourage the other.
Could they...would they...or should they back out now before they told anyone at home about their decision? Jeff had planned to announce his intention to the Mackintosh residents tomorrow at mass. But what if somehow word got back to Briarwood before they returned? What would Father Cliff, Walter, and especially, Roger think or have to say. Jeff pondered this silently. When his brother Alex had moved to L.A. with Ted, Daddy Walt and Daddy Dave had been so supportive. Even Father Cliff and Roger had given them a send off before they left for California. Alex had held down the job at the clinic before Johnny assumed the position. But then, Alex hadn't been given ten-million dollars from Roger as he had. Jeff wondered if he would feel better giving his gift back to Roger. Oh God! Things had seemed so wonderful, so possible, yesterday and now...this day had brought Jeff and Johnny back to a reality that neither of them wanted to face or even think about.
They returned back to Frank's and had a quick drink...neither of them were the least bit hungry after sampling what must've been hundreds of Betty Crocker's, Martha Stewart's, and Charles Pillsbury's delights the earlier part of the day...the kind that everyone's mom used to make.
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The Powder Puff Pub was packed. However, upon the arrival of Jeff, Johnny, and Frank, the crowd parted as it had at the ice cream parlor to make way for the three of them. Broadway show tunes were blasting from all the speakers...Merman, Martin, Streisand, Stritch, and Peters rocked the place. One section of the taproom was cordoned off for patients in wheelchairs...even a place for them to dance. It was Saturday night and nearly half of the guests, both men and women, were dressed in complete drag. They looked great as if some Hollywood makeup artist had brought Marilyn, Judy, Lana, and Rita back to life: not to mention Clark, Errol, and James.
Around 9:00 PM, came the blast of a huge trumpet fanfare, the one Sondheim had written for the overture of 'Forum'. This meant the drag show was about to start. The oddest thing though, all the performers used their own voices. It was as if the room was filled with dozens of Jim Baileys. First up was "Everything's Coming Up Roses", then, "Zip", from "Pal Joey". The obvious piece, which brought down the house, was the three strippers doing, "You Gotta Have A Gimmick" from "Gypsy". It was a hoot to see "Sky of Blue" from "Little Mary Sunshine" with the roles reversed. A Lesbian was singing the Mounties's role and a long-lashed queen imitating Eileen Brennan as "Little Mary". The guys and gals did their best numbers, probably because neither Jeff nor Johnny had seen them before. "Don't Rain On My Parade", So Long Dearie", "Bosom Buddies", were wailed and whooped for the next two hours. The best of Broadway and MGM musicals were showcased. Then it was time for the finale. The room became totally quiet as four men and four women joined hands across the stage and started to sing, Jacque Brel's, "If We Only Have Love". This moved Jeff and Johnny to tears with nearly everyone in the audience joining them. Everyone sang the last chorus of the song.
At the end of the song, no one clapped or cheered, everything remained silent as if they were at church or a funeral. Then the eight on the stage parted upstage forming a 'V'. A solo spot hit a guy appearing in the middle, dressed in white chiffon dress. Not a soul moved. This was some kind of ritual that they had done many times.
A voice came through the intercom, "And now we pause to remember and reflect on our residents whom we have lost this month....James Tyner...then a bell chimed once...Lawrence Burton...(another chime)...Leslie Jacobsen....(chime) ...Jane Fairfax...(chime). This continued until fifteen names were called. Again, dead silence hovered over the room. The guy in the white gown began to sing a-capella, "Sometimes people leave you, halfway through the wood. Do not let it grieve you; you decide what's good. You are not alone. No one is alone..."
Almost from the time it was first heard, Sondheim's song from "Into the Woods" had been adopted by the gay community as its anthem. The boy came to the lines, 'Sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods. Do not let it grieve you, no one leaves for good. You are not alone... No one is alone.", the lights came on slowly, and the party was over. Johnny was so choked up, he gasped.
Everyone left the pub, arm in arm, pushing wheelchairs, or assisting others with crutches or walkers Three of them who couldn't walk, were carried in someone's arms.
This moment...this tear-filled, real moment, was all it took for Jeff and Johnny to know they were doing the right thing. Their doubts were gone. Jeff would hold mass the next day and officially announce that he would become their new rector. Johnny would be there to do anything and everything he could to make their lives better. This is where the two of them would be until they were led to a new destination.
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(To be continued in "Briarwood--BOOK FIVE--"FATHER JEFF"--Chapter-forty-five.)