All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
"BRIARWOOD"
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
R.S.V.
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
<><><><><>
BOOK ONE
Chapter Four
<><><><><><><><><>
Cliff was in such a state of euphoria from Sunday night's encounter with Troy, he was hardly able to get through Morning Prayer on Monday. He skipped breakfast and used the rest of the morning to fix up his office with diplomas, plaques, trophies, and knick-knacks he had accumulated at college and seminary. He dug out a box of trinkets and icons to place on the side of his desk, cluttering it with inane items that his closest friends and family members had sent him as souvenirs from their various trips. Cliff had a tiny hand-blown baby grand piano someone had bought for him at the Liberace museum, a miniature baby koala bear from Australia, and a blue statue of Tinker Bell that his best friend, Roger, had sent from Disney World. Roger always said that Tinker was their matron saint.
As he unpacked his small horde, he found that each item reminded him of a certain person, a time, or a place...most causing him to smile while reliving a pleasant moment. He turned on the radio and got a local FM station which was playing Percy Faith's recording of "Theme From 'A Summer Place', the movie that had been Roger's favorite...the one where the 'virgin' Sandra got preggers by Troy Donahue...and...that's as far as Cliff got because the name "Troy" shifted his thoughts back to the present.
There had to be a way to get Troy out of that woman's house and away from that sex-slave situation. Hell, slavery--even sex slavery--had been illegal since 1863. Cliff wondered what Lincoln would have said about a white male enslaved and in the clutches of a spoiled, horny, rich fourteen year-old pervert whose mother could buy him everything he wanted...including a human being. If Cliff thought that the prospect of a relationship between him and Troy was not premature, and if each was serious about the other, maybe Cliff could find a way to make a loan at the bank without arousing too much suspicion and pay off the damned debt she was hanging over Troy's head. Would this satisfy her and let Troy out of the impossible problematic circumstances she was holding over his head?
Cliff took time out for lunch and drove around town, familiarizing himself with beautiful Briarwood. He indulged himself, enjoying the drive-thru at Arby's where he picked up a roast beef sandwich with the usual horseradish sauce, some fries, and a mocha shake that only Arby's could make for that price. Leaving Arby's, he saw a park up ahead and eased his car along the auto path that led through an array of greenery, primarily mimosa trees in full bloom with their fragrant gardenia-like perfume coming from the pink and white delicate pom-poms. As he circled a large lake where several people were out rowing, he made a mental note to do the same as soon as he found time. A white gazebo ahead, housing a couple of picnic tables, invited him to stop and eat his fast-food lunch. He was still in his clerical garb and thought he'd better fake saying grace in case someone was watching, but it was always difficult to thank the Lord for anything bought at Burger King, Mcdonald's, Arby's, etc....it almost made saying grace a mockery.
About 20 yards from the gazebo, down by the lakeside, sat a young man, in his late teens or early 20's, it seemed to Cliff. The young man had his head resting on his arms which were propped up by his knees. To Cliff, it looked as if the young man was crying. Anyone's normal reaction would be to wonder what could be so terrible that it would bring a youth to tears, a youngster with his entire life still ahead of him. Cliff felt a sudden urge to invite the sad stranger over to sit with him...or Cliff could go down and walk past him to get his attention... or Cliff could just sit there as he damned well should, minding his own goddamned business. But the priestly side of Cliff overwhelmed the private citizen still residing in Cliff---he had to find out what was wrong and how, or if he, could be of any help!
During the next few minutes, as Cliff scarfed down the sandwich and fries, the young man looked up unexpectedly and caught Cliff watching him in his despair. The man even started to raise a hand, as if he were about to wave, but suddenly stopped himself. Cliff found himself too quick on the reply uptake, as he acknowledged the 'wave' attempt with his up-raised mocha shake. Cliff felt like a fool since he must have looked like the Briarwood Statue of Liberty with his paper cup raised high, saluting from a park gazebo.
Whether the young man had assessed Cliff's gesture as a sign of lunacy or a genuine "hello", it worked nonetheless, because the young man rose and came toward Cliff slowly. Cliff thought to himself, 'Oh my God, maybe he wants to make a confession in the park.'
As the guy approached, Cliff estimated him to be around 21 years old. He was extremely handsome, but very thin for his height. His clothes were expensive in appearance. His hair was well-groomed, almost too well-groomed to the point of being somewhat vain, almost feminine.
"Hello." Cliff spoke.
"Hello."
"Could I offer you half of an Arby's mocha shake?"
"No, thanks...Forgive me, but I saw your collar and assumed you were a priest."
"Yes, I am. Yesterday was my first day at St, Genesius."
"Genesius? The patron saint of actors and entertainers?"
"Yes. You've heard of him?"
"I had a friend who used to wear a St. Genesius medal around his neck."
"They call me Father Cliff...or just Cliff, if you prefer," Cliff said by way of self-introduction.
"My name is Jay...Jay Braxton."
"Do you live in Briarwood?" Cliff asked."
"My parents do. I live in New York...or I did."
"You here on a visit?"
"I was."
"Oh?" Cliff's voice showed his confusion.
"I came home to spend some time with my folks, but they weren't too pleased to see me, apparently."
"I...I'm sorry to hear that...so you're going back to New York?"
"No, I can't do that, either. I can't really go back there."
Cliff didn't want to pry into Jay's private life, but there were many obvious things about Jay...no doubt he was gay...his sibilant lisp was a dead giveaway. His hand gestures, the way he crossed his legs--not at all masculine. Cliff got an immediate feeling that Jay wanted to run away from something, but he nowhere to run. He also felt Jay wanted to talk and Cliff would learn as much as Jay was willing to reveal to him. However, Cliff wasn't quite prepared for the subject Jay was about to open.
"Father, I think I know how you'll answer this...but do you really believe there's a Hell?"
"You mean like...a big lake of burning fire?"
"Yes."
"The Bible talks of one, but I've never believed it was meant to be literally. There are so many similes and metaphors in the bible, written for the sole purpose of making people afraid to sin or to break a law. Since there's really no mention of Jewish or Christian police, the only thing that would make people behave was to scare them with the unknown...things they couldn't dispute as long as we or they were alive."
"Well, Father, what's your definition of hell?"
"I've heard of hell as being 'absent from God'. My own personal belief is hell is any place where you find yourself completely alone...never having any one to talk to or help you or, more importantly,...never having anyone there that YOU can help."
"If you believe that, do you think a person could live in a hell on earth even before he dies?"
"I've seen enough in my lifetime to be able to understand it if someone felt that way."
"Then, Father, I've entered the jaws of hell."
"Are things that bad for you right now?"
"There is absolutely nothing that could happen to me that could make my life any worse than it is now."
"Do you want to tell me about what's wrong?"
"Father, I'm 22 years old---and I'm dying. I came here to be with my parents, to die at home with them...but, Father, they met me at the front door of their house and wouldn't even let me enter!"
"My God, what happened to make them treat you this way?"
"In college, I learned a poem once in which Robert Frost had written a funny couplet stating he could never forgive God for the one big trick He'd played on him...and I can't either...If you believe in God and, your being a priest, I presume you do, then you know that your life is planned for you in the womb. I'm gay, Father. That's the one big trick your God played on me. My parents didn't find out until my first year in college and my father cut off all money for my tuition, room, and board. I picked up about six odd jobs to support myself and transferred to a tuition-free state college in my sophomore year, I learned how to cook by working in a restaurant, I learned gardening and landscaping. I worked in construction and I also worked as a carpenter's apprentice...I can do many things WELL enough to make a living. This one restaurant where I was cook, I met a guy my age named Lonnie. We hit it off. He was gay...and we fell in love. He had dreams of being an actor and the two of us went to New York where he could study and audition for acting jobs. I got a pretty good-paying job as a bartender, but soon found I could make bigger tips by being a female impersonator, so that's what I became. I bleached my hair platinum-blonde, bought lots of glittery gowns with sequins and gold trim. I became Home Shoppers Channel's biggest cubic zirconia buyer and became, 'Carol Charming' after Carol Channing and made, "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend", my theme song.
"Lonnie worked as a waiter and with what I made working in clubs, the two of us were getting by...able to pay the rent and meet the bills...but then I got suspicious that Lonnie was being unfaithful to me. I wasn't totally sure until the New York Health Department notified me that someone had turned my name in as one of his sex partners and there was a good chance I had contracted an STD, a sexually transmitted disease. So I went down for the great blood test and that's when I discovered I was HIV positive. I knew goddamned well I hadn't been with anyone except Lonnie...it turns out that Lonnie not only had HIV, he had full blown AIDS. I forgave him and took care of him...right up until he died six months ago from some viral infection he'd picked up. I'd spent so much time looking after him, I'd forgotten to take care of myself. I didn't go for my own check-ups and had no medicine regimen of my own. He died and his parents wouldn't even let me send his body home to be buried. I finally faked a paper and signed his name to it saying he wanted to leave his body for AIDS research and I got this AIDS group to find a hospital that would take it on the condition that when they were through with him, that they would promise to bury his remains in a real grave with a coffin and everything. By then, it was too late for me. My t-cell count had reached a level where they couldn't regulate it...so I called my mom and asked if I could come home to die. My dad said he never wanted to see me again...but I thought surely they wouldn't refuse seeing their only son for his final few days, so I gambled and came home any way. That's when I found out they weren't joking...I didn't even make it inside their house. And now, I'm broke, I'm homeless, and I'm hopeless...no where to live and no place to die." His quiet laugh was filled with sadness and bitterness.
"Good God! I don't know what to say, Jay!"
"Just tell me there's no hell and that, when I die, things won't be worse than they are now."
"You need a place to stay?"
"I was sitting down there by the lake eyeing this gazebo and thought it ain't much, but if it should rain, the roof on this thing would help keep me dry."
"Jay, I live alone in the church rectory and I have a spare bedroom if you think you'd like to stay with me."
"You aren't afraid on my giving it to you?"
"Heavens no. I think we could live together without exchanging any bodily fluids. I've had several friends who were HIV positive and I even lived with a couple and I never had any fear of catching it myself...Jay...the room's yours if you want it."
Jay's eyes filled. "I could help around the house as long as I feel I can...I'm a really good cook. I love to clean house. I can even landscape your yard or make some repairs around your house...y'know, to earn my keep."
"You don't have to bargain your talents to receive my hospitality...You got a suitcase or anything?"
"Everything in the world that I own or choose to keep is in a locker at the Greyhound Bus station. I don't have much. I was afraid to bring any of my drag clothes home with me and my masculine wardrobe is rather sparse."
"Let's get in my car and go down and get your things. As of now, you have a home...and a friend, Jay."
"Thanks, Father."
"I'm only a couple of years older than you, so why don't you just call me 'Cliff'?"
"OK, Cliff."
"After we leave the bus station, the next place we're going is to the farmers' market and buy as much broccoli as we can carry."
"Broccoli?...You going to serve it at communion or something?" Jay's face showed a mixture of confusion and humor.
"Nope, but if you're gonna live with me, I only ask two things of you. First, we're gonna find a doctor who specializes in HIV and AIDS, and second, you're gonna eat broccoli, three meals a day...starting with a broccoli omelet in the morning...a broccoli salad for lunch...and a broccoli casserole for supper...and, in between meals, you're gonna eat raw broccoli in a garlic dip."
"Good Lord, what for?...I hate the stuff,"
"I'm no doctor, but the one thing I learned from my friends is broccoli scares the hell out of AIDS. No one knows what broccoli does, but it's called the miracle vegetable. I'm gonna feed you so much broccoli, your farts will have green stalks and buds on them...Are you willing to give it a try?"
"Maybe I SHOULD call you 'Father' or 'Dad', but, yeah, I'll eat the stuff. What have I got to lose?"
"Thanks...let's see if we can get your strength built back up, I have a number of things you could do at home and at the church...then maybe you can design a garden for me...whaddya say?"
When Jay answered, his voice shook a little. "It almost makes me start to believe in God again, the way you stopped at that particular spot in the park to eat lunch at the same time that I was sitting there, and thirty minutes later, I have a new place to live...and a new friend who's willing to help me."
"This is only the beginning, Jay. By the way, I have a problem or two you might be able to help me with."
"How can I say 'no'?"
They drove out of the park, headed for the Greyhound Station.
Jay was fairly tired from his traumatic day, so after supper he went to bed without having much conversation. The next day when Cliff returned home after Morning Prayer, he found the table set with folded napkins and everything.
"Good morning, Jay, what's the aroma coming from the kitchen?"
"I'm cooking breakfast...a little dish I cooked up. I call it Ova cum Broccolium. If I had to eat the stuff, you have to eat some with me,"
"I won't argue, I happen to like eggs with broccoli."
"Figures."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"You may be older and wiser than I, but in spite of your degree in Divinity, I can read you like a book."
"Oh? You care to expound on you 'sagery'?"
"Well, I hope this doesn't get me thrown out, but I think you're not what you appear to be. You may be the young priest in town, here to save the church and all its mighty sinners, but it's my calculated guess that you have a penchant mostly for the male ones. I haven't decided yet if you prefer them older or younger."
"You're saying that you think I'm gay?"
"As an Easter lily."
"Am I that obvious? What gave me away?"
"The way you looked deeply in my eyes, trying to get a glimpse of my soul."
"Ah, but that goes with my profession."
"Oh? You suck cocks for a living?" Jay's question could have been offensive, but his eyes sparkled with wit.
"You are incorrigible!" Cliff said, laughing at him. "You act like you're feeling much better this morning...Must've been all that broccoli I fed you for supper last night."
"Speaking of which, I farted all night long. The sheets on the bed are now a bright shade of green and they're decorated with holes!"
"I'll get new ones every day if it makes you feel better."
"I don't know if it was the broccoli. I'm thinking more like it was you that caused the change in my demeanor."
"Why, Mr. Braxton, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were flirting with me."
"If things were different, don't think I wouldn't try!" Cliff couldn't be sure if Jay was serious or merely joking.
"Well, I must be careful to lock my door when I go to bed and make sure the shower curtain is pulled."
"Too late----I sneaked a peek at you this morning while you were shaving standing at the lavatory in the nude. Some guy is going to be very, VERY lucky when you decide to come out...Or have you already? Is there someone special in your life?"
"I have several 'special someones' in my life. I have my first love, a priest named Roger, who has a parish about 800 miles away in Virginia, and I've made friends with three or four people in the last few days, two of whom are coming by tonight for a chat. I think you'll like both of them. One of them, Rob, is a budding actor, or 'wannabe', and the other, Timmy, is a school teacher."
"Both gay?"
"You tell me after you've met them. You're the one with the built-in gaydar!"
"Are they coming for dinner?"
"No. One will be here around 7:30 or 7:45, and the other one is due around 8:00."
"Good. Would you like me to make a tray of my special hors d'oeurvres? Or would you trust me making food without giving them the plague."
"I think you're smart enough to know which precautions to take."
"Agreed."
"Then there's another, who I didn't mention. His name is Troy, but he won't be coming by tonight."
"That's three...who's the fourth? You said you'd met three or FOUR special guys."
"The fourth you'll find in the bathroom."
"Pardon?"
"He's probably in there right now...just go in there and look in the mirror."
"Huh? Oh...Thanks, Cliff." Jay's voice seemed husky when he spoke next. "You don't know how good it makes me feel to hear you say that. It's been so long since anyone thought of me as special."
"Jay, I want you to know that I think you are very attractive...very good looking."
"Men used to say I was beautiful when I was made up. I...I...uh...sorta find you attractive, too."
"Well, in that case, maybe we should go out and shop for furniture and move in together."
"Would you buy me a ring?"
"Yeah...a ring around the bathtub."
After a very brief moment of silence, Jay said," Cliff, would you feel awkward if I asked you to hold me?"
"I've wanted to put my arms around you since you first walked up to me at that gazebo."
"When you get this stuff, your best friends won't even shake hands with you any more. Everyone is so goddamned afraid they're going to catch it."
"Stand up and I'll show you just how frightened I really am."
Jay arose from the table and Cliff went to him, embraced him, and pulled Jay's frail body close to him. Jay seemed to melt into Cliff's arms. His body began to shake as if he were ready to break into tears, but Cliff placed his fingers under Jay's chin to steady it and looked at him, and Cliff knew that Jay was right, he WAS trying to see into Jay's soul. Cliff saw a little hurt puppy that sat beside on the road with no food or water, and had no idea which direction led home. Jay's eyes were watery but he fought to keep tears from streaming down his cheeks. With his hand, Cliff pulled Jay's chin upward to let his lips find Jay's. It was only a very light, very gentle kiss, but that's when the dam broke and Jay began to cry.
"Oh God, Cliff, it's been such a long, long while since anyone has held me, much less offered to kiss me. I thought I had forgotten how wonderful it could be. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for letting me come into your life."
"No, thank you for coming into mine. I think I've just learned more about being a priest than all they taught in seminary. I want you to stay here as long as you like. I'll help you as long as you will let me."
"If the doctors are right, I'm afraid it won't be for long."
"Bullshit! Who was the last doctor that kissed you and fed you broccoli? What the fuck do they know about holistic medicine?"
"What will your church members say about my living here?"
"The day they tell me I can't invite my family to come live with me is the day I'll leave."
"But Cliff, I'm not part of your family."
"Who says?"
"You know I don't know which one of them you'll end up with...Roger, Rob, or Timmy, but whichever one it is will sure be the luckiest guy in the world when you decide on him. I'll envy them from my grave."
"Who's to say it might not be you...after all, you have an unfair advantage over them."
"That being?"
"Being that YOU and I are living together."
"Good, I hope they're just as jealous of me as I am of them."
"You've sorta jumped the gun...I've never really even talked with Rob and Timmy. That's why I invited them over tonight, to get to know them...only neither of them knows that the other one is coming."
"My tarot cards tell me you're trying to play Dolly Levi and match the two of them up together."
"You let on and I'll have you arrested for practicing fortune-telling without a license!"
"Then the only one I really have to worry about is Troy?"
"You don't have to worry about anyone...I said you were ALL special. So you just be the charming co-host tonight and don't make waves. These guys opened up to me in the confessional and told me things that only I know...and I can't say a word about what they told me to anyone...especially you...but I don't have to tell you...you with your magical power to read other people's minds. Just remember they're not coming here to confess, but if you should happen to overhear something you know you shouldn't've heard, keep it under your lid and keep your mouth shut...Dig!?"
"Dig." His double-take on the 70's slang was priceless!
Cliff went back to his office at the church, made some phone calls and began writing his sermon for Sunday. One of the most valuable things he learned from Father Kent was, the length of your sermon must NEVER exceed seven minutes. Kent used to say, 'You hit them over the head the first minute telling them what your topic is, and then you deliver the message for the next five. It's a scientific fact that the human brain is incapable of keeping its attention focused no longer than five minutes. After that, you had only sixty seconds in which to close your sermon. Most ministers preach twenty to forty minutes, and after the first five, they lose their congregation's interest...oh, they may recapture it as the mind wanders from fantasy to reality...but, by and large, they just keep hammering away on the same points over and over, like the new boys' bands that sing the same four notes and repeat the same lyrics over and over until they finally just stop.'
Cliff often wondered how those groups all knew how to stop together? Was it prearranged that they would stop the 49th time they had sung the final lyric...and anyway, which one of them was counting and how did he signal the others to quit?...Same thing with a long-winded minister. They make their point and spend the next 20 minutes repeating it, thinking that their flock was too dumb to get it the first time.
Cliff left the church and headed for home about 5:30. He wanted to have time to shower and shave before his guests arrived. Jay was in the living room watching the DVD, "Boys In The Band", starring a guy Cliff's dad had met when "The Fantasticks" had first opened off-Broadway. His name was Ken and he had suffered the slings and arrows of the great disease before he died. Where the fuck was the long awaited 'cure'? False hopes and promises kept only so many alive. Had it not been for the 'Barbras' and the 'Elizabeths' of the world, medical science wouldn't even have the remissive drugs of today. Cliff had always felt that the disease was a by-product of germ-warfare experiments that had somehow found its way to the African chimpanzee. This was NOT a curse from the Almighty. This had been a man-made demon that had struck down innocent children, men, and women. If it was a chemical weapon, why wasn't the government using defense money for a 'Star Wars anti-disease' program? Oh, well, that's a subject Cliff would keep to himself and perhaps make a seven minute sermon out of it for some Sunday.
Rob arrived at 7:45, looking like page '32' of 'GQ'. This guy had everything going for him----looks, talent, grooming. He had been a victim of the all-too-familiar, 'lie to the guy, tell him you're pregnant, get him to marry you, and then really get pregnant after you've trapped him' syndrome. How many lives had been ruined this way? The word 'trapped' was synonymous with so many unhappy gay lives...jobs, families, society, personal guilt. Whoever said "It's a man's world" must have been a woman who lied after she had trapped her man.
"Rob, come in."
"Thanks, Father."
"Tonight, let's do away with the liturgical formality and let's be friends. Please call me Cliff."
"Thanks, Cliff." He seemed to be trying the name on to see if it fit his mind.
"Can I get you a glass of wine? I've just chilled some Mountain Rhine."
"That would be great."
Cliff called in to Jay who was in the kitchen. "Jay, could you bring that bottle of wine and some of those fluted goblets?"
"You have company?" Rob asked.
"A friend, sorta family, is staying with me for a while."
Jay entered carrying a tray with the jug and four glasses. Noticing the number of goblets, Rob asked.
"Are you expecting someone else?"
"Later on. Rob, I want you to meet a friend of mine, Jay. Jay, this is Rob,"
Both of them spoke, obviously admiring each other...Rob's masculinity and Jay's slightest hint of feminine pulchritude. One could see thousand of questions popping up in their minds by the looks they gave one another.
"Rob has aspirations of appearing on Broadway some day."
"Really?"
"Those days are long forgotten, Cliff...It seems strange calling you that,"
"Maybe not.. Jason Robards, for example, didn't even begin his career until he was nearly forty."
"My best friend in New York wanted to be an actor." added Jay,
"Did he succeed?" asked Rob.
"Almost."
"What happened?"
"Let's just say, time ran out......"
"Sorry," Rob answered quizzically. "Was he a singer?"
"No, just a straight actor." Jay replied trying not to emphasize the word, 'straight'. "He studied with Uta Hagen."
"Oh, 'Martha' in 'Virginia Woolf'? She's fabulous. They put that entire show on LP and I've listened to it many times at the library...'What a dump!'."
"Yeah, she and Elizabeth Taylor played the role so differently, but both were great."
"Jay, could I ask you a big favor? I asked Rob over to talk about a few things, privately, and would you be offended if I ask you to busy yourself somewhere else for a little while?"
"No, you two go ahead. I have some broccoli to clean in the kitchen."
Jay gave Cliff an evil smile as he exited.
"Nice guy. How long have you two been friends?" Rob inquired.
"Oh, I don't know...seems like forever."
"His friend...the one in New York?...Did he die?"
"Victim of the Pentecostal curse."
"Damn. That's too bad."
"Let's talk about you."
"I don't know what made me rattle off in the confessional the way I did."
"It apparently was something you've wanted to say for some time, but just couldn't find the right person to say it to."
"Cliff, I've never loved my wife. I told you about my sexual escapades in the adult movie houses. Those few moments I spend in the dark with unseen faces is the only time I can be myself."
"Suppose there was someone you were attracted to, that was in a similar situation as yours? Suppose you could find someone like that, that you could talk with and share things with? And if the feeling was mutual, even extend the relationship into the bedroom?"
"I've thought about that, but the chances of finding someone like that is beyond all hope."
"Maybe not. Sometimes you don't have to look farther than your own back yard."
Right on queue, the doorbell rang.
"Want me to get that?" Jay yelled. Cliff knew Jay wanted to size up Timmy, so he let Jay answer the door.
"If you would."
At the door was heard, "Hi, I'm Jay."
"Timmy."
"Nice to meet you. Come on in, Father Cliff is expecting you."
"Thanks."
Rob looked at Cliff skeptically and asked, "You invited Timmy over, knowing that I would be here?"
"Yeah, he's got a slight problem I thought you might be able to help me try to solve with him."
"Oh?"
"Good evening, Father Cliff...Rob? I didn't expect to see you here."
"Oh...I just sorta 'dropped by'."
"Have a seat, Timmy, and have a glass of Mountain Rhine...and, as I just instructed Rob, tonight, please call me 'Cliff'."
"Thanks...Cliff. Boy, that seems strange, my calling you that. I wouldn't dream of calling my doctor, Charles."
"People put too much emphasis on names and titles. We's all God's 'chilluns'."
"You want me to cut up some more broccoli?" Jay asked.
"Didn't you say something about hors d'oeurvres?"
"Damn. I forgot. The refrigerator is full of them!"
"Why don't you make a few more and let me talk with Rob and Timmy for a few minutes?"
"Sure, Dad,...I mean, Father...Oh, what the hell?". Jay went back to the kitchen, humming, "Some day he'll come along...The Man I Love". Cliff wished he could reach Jay to swat him across his sassy fanny. Cliff poured a glass of wine for Timmy and looked at both of them.
"I suppose you know by now that my inviting both of you over was more than coincidence. You two sing in the choir, almost side by side every Sunday since I don't know when. The fact of the matter is that you two have more in common than you realize."
"Pardon me?" asked Timmy, very innocently.
"I am bound by my vows not to reveal anything either of you said to me in the confessional, but finding two people with the same problems, which I won't divulge, I thought you two might find a way to support each other...that is, if you're willing to share a few things as friends, and I presume you both are friends."
"We've been singing the mass together for almost three years now."
"And you've never gotten to know one another?"
"Not really. Rob is happily married and I have no one in my life and I never thought we had that much in common."
"..'Know thy neighbor as thyself'. Isn't that one of the great teachings?"
"I'm beginning to see what you're hinting at, Cliff," replied Rob.
"I don't," added Timmy.
Rob turned to Timmy and then said, "Timmy, I'm not all that 'happily married'. As a matter of fact, Gloria and I seldom even speak to each other."
"I had no idea, Rob!"
"Nor does anyone else. We DO put up a good front, don't we?"
"Are you saying you're seeing someone else?"
"Not exactly...If we're going to get personal, may I ask why you don't have someone in your life?" Rob asked Timmy.
"I...uh...well, it's my work. I'm so busy as a school teacher, I don't have much time for dating."
"You don't have time...or you won't allow yourself to find the time?"
"It's just sorta tough to find someone with the same interests as I."
Beginning to understand better, Rob asked, "Are you talking about someone male or female?"
Timmy gave Cliff an accusing look, seemingly asking if Cliff had, 'told ALL'.
"Neither, really...well, it wouldn't really matter. You know that I live with my parents and, with my dad being my principal and all, everything I do stays under constant scrutiny."
"I know the feeling, My wife and her parents watch me like a hawk, always trying to find out if I'm cheating on her."
"OK...It's my turn...with a male...or a female?"
"I think you already know the answer to that...male, Timmy."
"You're kidding?"
"No.....Does that shock you?"
"No. It's just that...I had no idea."
"I know...and I had no idea about you."
"I didn't say, MALE."
"No, but you could have if you'd been brave enough say it."
"I'm brave enough."
"Then why can't you say it?"
"Because if I did...my whole life could be ruined. I'd lose my job. My dad would disown me...I'd have to leave town."
"There'd be no danger in telling someone like me."
"I think I see that now...Rob, are you saying you're gay?"
"Yes, and I've kept it hidden my whole life...What about you? Can you say it?"
"I think so."
"Then why don't you try it?"
"All right. I'm gay."
Cliff didn't see any reason for interrupting their flow of conversation. They were doing just fine with their revelations, so Cliff let them continue."
"How do you find a way of releasing your feelings, Timmy? Do you have a partner?"
"No...and I've never had one. Rob, since we're laying our cards on the table, I'll tell you what I told Father Cliff. I've become so frustrated with constant erections and finding myself horny all the time. lately I've been masturbating at night, using some of my students as fantasies."
"Timmy, you don't want to go there."
"I know...but what other choice do I have? What do you do?"
"I sometimes sneak out late at night and go to an adult book store and find a stranger in the dark."
"I've thought about that...but it seems too dangerous...I mean what if you met up with some pervert and he stabbed you or robbed you or something? What if you ran into someone you knew...like your barber or your lawyer or...?"
"Or your priest?" Cliff interjected.
"Yeah... or your priest! Father Cliff, what are you saying?"
"Nothing, I'm too busy listening to you two."
"Cliff, were you implying something to us?" Rob inquired.
"Why do you think I wanted you both to meet here and get to know one another?...I'm not one to meddle into private lives without a reason or an ulterior motive."
"You think that Timmy and I might...?"
"Stranger things have happened, I'm sure. Look, you two have been friends for a long time. You both seem to like each other. You both seem to have a physical need. Is it, or could it be, possible that you could be attracted to each other and maybe satisfy each other's sexuality without becoming involved with, say, something like a mutual desire or friendship? Someone you could trust without being betrayed and have your personal lives jeopardized?...You do like each other, don't you?"
Both answering, "Yes."
"And do you find one another attractive?"
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"Then what could be wrong with it?"
"Do they teach matchmaking at the seminary, Father?"
"Well, it's not exactly called that," I answered. "I would like for you, both, to sit there, silently and look at each other. I mean REALLY look at each other for the first time, and see what you feel. I mean, have neither of you ever visualized in the dark of night, what might happen if you two were alone, and both felt the need to 'get off'.....together."
"Once or twice. I've looked at Timmy and wondered what would happen if...but it never occurred to me that it would ever happen or become a reality!"
"I'd be lying, too, if I didn't say that Rob, with his looks, has given me a boner or two."
"I've given you boners?"
"Sure...lots of times...but, shit, with your wife and all..."
"Let me go see what's keeping Jay in the kitchen. he might need some help putting dressing on the broccoli." Cliff rose and turned from the room.
He went to the kitchen, but left the door open to listen.
"I really gave you an erection?" asked Rob.
"I've got one, right now."
"I don't believe it."
"Wanna feel?"
"Sure....Here...feel me through my pants."
"Good God! You're bigger than I ever imagined."
"How about you? Any action behind your zipper?"
"Wanna find out for yourself?"
"Goddamn, you keep as much beauty hidden as you show. That`s impressive!! Is that because of me?"
"You're the one doing the feeling, aren't you?"
"Why were we so stupid, not to know anything about each other?"
"Damn, we've wasted so much time, when we could have been getting to know each other better, as we are now."
"It's funny that Father Cliff saw it in one day while we've been friends for years."
"It's never too late for a beginning."
"You know, I have this irresistible urge to kiss you."
"Don't resist it...not only my spirit, but my flesh is willing."
They continued their physical exploration as discreetly as possible.
"Are they ready for the horsey doovers?" Jay asked.
"Not just yet. They might be staying longer than they had planned."
"What's happening?"
"Well, Rob, the musical comedy star is singing, 'Getting To Know You' to Timmy, using sign language."
"You're kidding? Did you play Shirley Booth in the straight version or Barbra, in the musical?"
"A little of both."
"Maybe you are unorthodox or unethical in your vows, but you are a great priest...and a better friend."
"Come here and give me a hug."
"That's what I wanted...Now all I have to worry about is Troy taking my place in your life."
"You don't have to worry about that. You remember what Matt says to Luisa in, 'The Fantasticks' when he offers her his sweater?...'There's room enough for both'."
Cliff kissed him.
Then Cliff walked over to the door and cleared his throat rather loudly to let his two guests know he was about to enter the living room. Either they didn't hear Cliff, or they didn't care, but when Cliff came through the door, Timmy was just about to place him lips on Rob's.
"Uh, excuse me," Cliff said.
"No," Timmy replied, "excuse US, Father."
"It's only nine o'clock. How late can you stay?"
"I should leave around eleven."
"Me, too."
"You want to continue this session, privately in my bedroom?"
"I would love to, but what about Jay, won't he know?"
"Jay tells fortunes and reads minds on the side. He's known from the moment he met you. He even knew this would happen...Now go, my children, into my bedroom and sin some more."
Rob took Timmy by the hand and led him down the hall. Jay had already sneaked in and changed the sheets and folded the blankets down. When the bedroom door closed, Jay appeared in the kitchen doorway, with silver plated tray in hand.
"Cock au vin, anyone?"
"I'll 'vin' your cock. Go choose a DVD and let's watch a movie...one that lasts about two hours."
"How about 'It Happened One Night'?"
"I was thinking more along the line of 'Longtime Companion--the musical'."
Jay was becoming more and more dear to Cliff with each hour the two of them spent together...but Cliff couldn't forget that he had almost fallen in love with Troy in one evening and wondered where that would lead...and then there was always Cliff's first love, Roger. Any way he looked at it, Cliff's life was full and he was happy.
<><><><><><><><><><><>
(To be continued in "Briarwood" Book One-chapter five)