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"BRIARWOOD"
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK TWO
"The Clayton Clan"
Chapter Twenty
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Ryan was filled to the gills when he had finished eating Alex and Ted's Italian cuisine. At first, he had felt somewhat uneasy, meeting so many people at once, especially since the one Ryan had known for less than six hours, Alex, was sitting at the dinner table with his lover, Ted, and his father and brother, both of whom apparently accepted the fact that Alex and Ted were gay. Ryan remembered what Kyle Andrews had said at the group session earlier, that he, Kyle, had never seen parents openly approve of their son's homosexuality. Yet, Walter was living proof of Kyle's enigma.
Despite his initial nervousness, the more he ate, the more relaxed Ryan became. Ryan had shown he trusted Alex by calling him in Ryan's time of need. However, Ryan couldn't help but notice Ted's handsomeness and rugged athletic build. To Ryan, Alex had to be the luckiest guy in the world to have an understanding father and a 'what-more-could-you-want' lover. After Alex's `pseudo' warning to beware brother Jeff, Ryan tried avoiding eye contact with Jeff. Ryan was twenty years old while Jeff was only sixteen. That made Jeff jailbait in most states, but Briarwood was in a state where the age of consent for males was sixteen. Ryan had no idea why that occurred to him because he had no intention of losing his virginity to a boy as young as Jeff...still, Jeff WAS cute...and sexy.
Alex and Ted hadn't taken the time to make a dessert, but fortunately, there was a gallon of spumoni ice cream filled with hazelnuts in the freezer, which completed the Italian-themed meal. It was nearly 7:30PM when Ryan finished with dessert. Jeff was all but jumping up and down to get Ryan to go into his room to play Mario Brothers, but after Alex's cautioning words, Ryan was a bit leery about being alone with Jeff in Jeff's bedroom. As soon as Walter invited everyone into the living room to watch 'Jeopardy' on TV, Ryan jumped at the chance to join Walter. Jeff, rather reluctantly, followed Ryan to watch TV while Alex and Ted stayed in the kitchen to clean the pans and wash the dishes.
Away from the others, Alex explained what had happened to Ryan with more details.
"You mean he got kicked out of two places in one day?" Ted asked.
"First his home, then his friend's home."
"Poor guy and he looks so harmless."
"He kinda reminds me of a little dog that no one wants, a lonely pup who's been left on the side of the highway in the rain."
"That's a good analogy, babe. You described Ryan to a 'T'."
"I'm glad that you didn't get upset when I invited him to come over and stay the night," Alex said, putting the plates and utensils in the dishwasher.
"I think I'd've been more upset if you hadn't invited him. But that's the way you are...thoughtful, kind, and generous...just like Daddy Walt."
"You aren't jealous of Ryan, are you?"
"Alex, if I can't be sure of your being faithful in the beginning of our relationship, then I shouldn't be here at all. Baby, we're both gonna meet other guys every day for the rest of our lives. I don't ever intend to be jealous of any of them. If you love me as I love you, then I'm sure that you're not going to cheat on me--ever. Hell, I would trust you if you had to share a bed with Ryan because I know nothing would happen between you as nothing would happen between me and Ryan or any other guy."
"Sometimes you scare me, Ted!"
"What do you mean?"
"It's as if you can read my mind. Every word which you so eloquently spoke were my exact thoughts. Then I suppose that's one of your talents... finding the right way to say anything. You're gonna be a great sports writer some day and when you get that million dollar contract from Sports Illustrated Magazine, I'll be at your side and travel with you all over the country or the globe. There's the World Cup in a different country each year, Roland Garros in Paris, Wimbledon in London, the Australian Open, the Tour-de-France, the Olympics! The places we'll go and the things we'll do! It's so wonderful to dream about them."
"Go ahead and dream, but first I've got to be lucky enough to get a guest shot on the Briarwood Daily newspaper to cover the high school sports. Bur even so, I don't think that's a prerequisite for being offered a million dollar contract with 'SI'!"
"But you WILL be famous, Ted. I just know it."
"I love the way you feed my ego. I'll feed you something a little more substantial later tonight."
"You're over being tired from the camping trip?"
"Over it and rarin' to go if you're willing?"
"Willing and able, sir!"
Ted kissed Alex. "Come on, let's go see if we can answer the final 'Jeopardy' question."
Each with an arm around the other's back, Alex and Ted marched into the living room in time to hear Alex Trebek say, "Here's the final Jeopardy answer in the category of 'Figures in Sports'." Ted beamed as he knew he was about to show off his knowledge. Alex continued, " 'He holds more records than anyone in baseball history.' You have thirty seconds."
Before Ted could open his mouth, "The answer OUGHT to be Pete Rose!" Alex exclaimed.
"I agree, Alex! That's one of the biggest tragedies in sports, keeping him out of Baseball's Hall of Fame...a few bigoted assholes who won't honor one of the greatest figures in sports. Too bad Pete isn't gay. Then maybe I could understand easier why he's being blackballed. Hell, betting on your own team shouldn't be a crime. Look at all the jocks who are inducted into the various halls of fame every year. Some of 'em have histories of drug abuse, steroid use, wife beating--they get in, but Pete's 'crime' is unpardonable? I guess Greg Louganis is the only gay athlete who was honored after he came out openly. We gays are just as discriminated against as Pete is for gambling."
"It won't always be that way, Ted," Walter said in a feeble effort to console his newest son.
"Why are you getting so upset, Ted?" Alex asked.
"Aw, it's just that Pete is my idol and it burns my butt that everyone turned against him."
"You're into sports BIG, huh, Ted?" Ryan asked.
"Except when he's with me, Ryan, Ted lives, breathes, and eats sports twenty-four-seven."
"You like baseball, Ryan?" Ted asked.
"Only on TV. My chief interests lie in music and CD's," Ryan replied.
"What kind of music, Ryan?" Walter asked.
"Everyone will probably laugh, but my favorite is Barbra Streisand. When I'm alone, she sorta guides my moods. She makes me happy, lonely, sometimes even sexy."
"Sexy?" Jeff asked, very interested. "How can she make you feel sexy?"
"Not sexy in the truest sense of the word, maybe romantic is more like it. When I was alone in my room at my house, I'd put one of her CD's on my player and her songs got me to thinking, wishing that I had someone to love."
"I can relate to that," Walter said. "When I was your age, most of my peers were into rock music, but I had my own private record collection and when I was by myself, I'd listen to Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Jack Jones, Doris Day, and Keely Smith. At the time, I was seeing someone steadily and the music would put in into a romantic mood---I guess most of you boys would say, 'horny'---and I would call or go see my steady friend to make love all night."
"Did Mom, Jeff, or me every meet your steady friend, Dad?" Alex asked.
"Perhaps..."
Alex eyed Ted and they gave each other a 'knowing' smile."
Changing the subject, Walter quickly added, "Now what do you guys want to do for the rest of the evening. I know that Alex and Ted spent quite a while preparing a delicious dinner. Do either of you have homework to do?"
"I didn't go to school today, Dad. Remember? How about you, Ted? Do you have any homework?"
"I had two chapters to read for English and I did that in my car while waiting for you to get out of the group session at Kimbrough."
"Would anyone like to watch a video tape?" Walter asked.
"Sure, Dad," Alex replied.
"I'm game," echoed Ted.
"I thought you and I were gonna play Mario Brothers, Ryan," Jeff interjected hopefully.
"We may," Ryan said. "But what's the movie, Mr. Clayton?"
"Well, the movie might not be to your liking, Ryan, but there was a tape I wanted Alex and Ted to see. It's called, 'Doing Time On Maple Drive'. One of its stars is Jim Carrey."
"Hey, I love Jim Carrey!" Jeff exclaimed. "He's so cool and funny."
"He doesn't play a comic role in this film, Jeff."
"Pooh!"
"Put it on, Mr. Clayton, I think I'd like to see it," Ryan responded.
"I should warn you in advance, Ryan, it's a story concerning homosexuality!"
"Oh, I don't mind. I don't think I've ever seen a movie like that."
"Are there any porn scenes, Dad?"
"No, Jeff. I hate to disappoint you, but the best I can recall, there's practically no sex and everyone keeps his clothes on."
"Then how can it be about homosexuality with no sex?" Jeff insisted.
"It's a story about gay people, butthole!" Alex replied. "Right, Dad?"
"Yes, Alex."
"Well, I'll watch part of it and if I don't like it, I'll go to my room and wait for Ryan to come up and play Nintendo," Jeff resolved.
Walter went to his briefcase to get the white plastic Blockbuster bag, got the tape and put it into the VCR. Alex and Ted sat down together on one of the demi-sofas while Jeff sat down in the middle of the larger couch with his dad on one side of him and Ryan on the other. Walter lowered the three-way lights to the lowest setting as the movie was about to begin.
"Wait, Dad," Alex shouted. "Push the pause button while I go get cokes and snacks for everyone!"
"Good idea, son." Walter paused the film momentarily. Everyone sat in the dimly lit room waiting for Alex, who returned in a flash with half a dozen cans of cold Diet Coke, two bags of potato chips, two bags of Fritos, and two cans of Frito-Lay chip dip. When everyone was served his snack, Walter restarted the movie.
The plot of the film revolved around a dysfunctional family, a rigid military father and an obliging mother with three grown children. One was about to enter into a 'doomed from the start' marriage, the second was an alcoholic, played by Jim Carrey, and the youngest son was a closeted gay, whose secret was known by everyone but his father. His mother knew but she was in complete denial. The only way for the youngest son to escape, since his parents wouldn't accept his lifestyle and his boyfriend, was for him to attempt suicide.
As the story progressed and the gay son became more and more traumatized, totally unthinking and unaware of his actions, Ryan reached down to grab Jeff's hand and held it tightly. Jeff wasn't sure of Ryan's motive, whether it was the movie or was Ryan making a 'play' for him? Either way, Jeff enjoyed holding Ryan's hand just the same.
The young boy does not die from his attempt and Jim Carrey's character sobers up enough to stand up to his father for his kid brother's sake. The boy is reunited at the end with his boyfriend and the movie ended happily. The end credits rolled on for days which gave everyone in the living room a chance to wipe a tear or two from their cheeks...all except Jeff, who had been 'turned on' ever since Ryan took his hand.
"That was terrific, Dad," Alex said to Walter.
"I thought you would enjoy it," Walter said. "I thought the story would coincide with the group sessions you're attending."
"I wish Dr. Hughes would rent it and show it to everyone," Alex added. "What did you think, Ted?"
"I liked it, but it reminded me a lot of someone I know and love dearly."
"How about you, Ryan?"
"It shot me right through the heart...almost as if someone had taped some conversations I've had with my parents," Ryan replied.
Walter looked concerned. "Ryan, the movie didn't upset you, did it?"
"No, sir, because it ended happily. The two young guys got together at the end. If the son had succeeded killing himself, it might have depressed me deeply, but ending this way, it gave me hope that sometimes things DO work out."
"I won't ask you what you thought, squirt!" Alex said to Jeff.
"I thought it stunk! Jim Carrey didn't do a single funny thing in the whole picture."
Alex looked at his dad and they both shook their heads. Jeff was hopeless!
"Now can we go play Nintendo?" Jeff asked Ryan.
"Son, Ryan has to go to work in the morning and YOU have school. It's practically ten-thirty and, if you start playing Nintendo now, it'll be after midnight before you go to bed."
"SO?"
"SO, NO NINTENDO!" Walter said, firmly.
"Are you gonna be here tomorrow night?" Jeff asked Ryan.
"I...I don't think so, Jeff."
"Son, why don't you go take your bath and get your clothes ready for school in the morning. I want to talk with Ryan before he goes to bed."
"Oh, all right!...but I DO hope you stay, Ryan!"
"Thanks, Jeff," Ryan said. "I hope to see you again real soon and maybe then I can beat you at Mario Brothers."
"HAH! I'd like to see you try."
"GOOD NIGHT, JEFF" Walter said firmly.
"'Night, dad. Good night Ryan. 'Night, Alex and Ted...and DON'T EITHER OF YOU MAKE ANY OBSCENE NOISES AND KEEP ME AWAKE!" Jeff left the living room and ran up the stairs to take his bath.
"He's exuberant, isn't he?" Ryan said to Walter.
"That's putting it mildly."
"He's a good kid, though," Ryan added.
"Dad, you said you wanted to talk with Ryan. Did you mean privately or do you want Ted and me to stay?"
"Whichever, son. Are you going to try to go back to school in the morning?"
"I think it's time, don't you? Besides, I've got to go just to keep my eye on Ted."
"What do you mean 'keep your eye' on me?"
"After gym when you get into the shower with all the naked guys!"
"You're gonna come down to the locker room and watch me shower?"
"Why not? I've seen you naked!"
"Then maybe it's the other guys you're so eager to see naked and not me!"
"I'll only notice if any of them are hung better than you...though I doubt it. You've got one of the biggest..."
"WILL YOU SHUT UP IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD AND RYAN?" Ted commanded.
"Oops! Sorry...sorry, Dad. Sorry, Ryan."
Walter and Ryan laughed at Alex's embarrassed humor.
"Son, you and Ted go on to bed. I'll talk alone with Ryan."
"All right, Dad. Good night...good night, Ryan, I'm glad you came!"
"Good night, everyone," Ted said.
Alex grabbed Ted by the arm and tugged him up the stairs, then stopped and turned back toward Ryan. "Listen, Ryan. We didn't get to talk very much, but if you want to talk later, just tap on my bedroom door. It's the first door on the left at the top of the stairs."
"Thanks, Alex...Good night, Ted. It was nice meeting you."
"Same here," replied Ted.
When Alex, Ted, and Jeff had gone upstairs, Walter said to Ryan, "Come on into the den, son. I'll help you make the bed. I'll get you some fresh linens and a couple of pillows from the linen closet. You'll need a blanket as well."
"Thanks, Mr. Clayton."
Walter returned to the den with bed clothes and, as they talked, Walter and Ryan folded out the bed, put on sheets and a blanket with two pillows.
"Ryan, I'm not sure how old is 'old' to you, but I'm only thirty-eight and not used to Alex's friends calling me, 'Mr. Clayton'. It makes me feel MUCH older!"
"How should I address you, sir? I don't know you well enough to call you Dad or even, 'Daddy Walt' as Ted..."
"My best friend...Ted's dad, calls me 'Wally' and he's the only one I'll let get away with it because I hate being called 'Wally'. Would it suit you if you called me 'Walter'?"
"If that'll make you feel younger. My dad is sixty-three and I have to call all his friends, 'Mister'."
"How old are you, Ryan?"
"Twenty. Well, I'll be twenty-one next Saturday, that is, a week from this coming Saturday."
"A GROWN man at last, huh?"
"Grown, by being twenty-one, but far from being grown up."
"Do you think your parents will let you be with them on your big 'twenty-first'?"
"I doubt if they'll want to see me on my THIRTY-FIRST!"
"Are things that bad at home, Ryan?"
"Intolerable, Mister...sorry, Walter."
"Are you gay, son?"
"I...I don't know, Walter. I've never grown up enough to find out."
"You've never had a special male friend or boyfriend?"
"No."
"I hope you don't mind my prying. That's just the 'lawyer' in me surfacing. Alex says I can't converse with anyone without it sounding like a cross-examination."
"I don't mind. In all my life, I've never found anyone who cared enough about me to ask me anything, I guess. Go ahead. I'm enjoying talking to you. Ask me whatever you like."
"Did you ever have a girlfriend or some girl you dated in school?"
"Sure, my mother fixed me up with a lot of girls whose mothers were trying to get their daughters fixed up with some boy...ANY boy...and 'any boy' usually turned out to be me!"
"You...dated them without sexual involvement?"
"Shoot! I never even kissed any of them when I took them home after a movie or a dance at school. All of the girls were pretty much like me...all wallflowers."
"I find that difficult to believe because I'd never consider you a wallflower--ever! Maybe you weren't aware, but Jeff was looking at you all night as if you were the prize calf at a county fair. I could see his heart pattering ninety beats per second every time you gave him a glance. Jeff is only sixteen, but you surely turned his head in your direction."
"I...I'm afraid I got carried away during the movie. I...I didn't do it on purpose, but about halfway through the film, I looked and, somehow, I was holding Jeff's hand. I hope he didn't get the wrong idea!"
"I don't think he did...I saw it and I thought it was rather nice."
"Yes, but I'm four years older than Jeff. I shouldn't have held his hand under any circumstance."
"Ryan, age sometimes isn't a factor. My wife has been dead for several years and occasionally, I want a hand to hold in the dark. Everyone needs a hand to hold at times."
"Yes, but Jeff's a kid and I'm..."
"A BIG kid? You said so yourself. I'm just repeating what you said to me."
"I guess I am at that...a twenty year old 'kid'!"
"You may not want to answer this, but I presume, since you met Alex in Dr. Hughes group session, that YOU attempted to take YOUR life?"
"Yes, but apparently I wasn't 'grown up' enough to do it successfully. I seem to fail at everything--even dying."
"You have no brothers or sisters?"
"No, just me...and I've failed at being the son they wanted me to be. I think if I could find the right guy and fall in love--and be sure that he loves me--I could grow up and face life and live it! But my dad says he'd rather see me dead than gay! So I thought the only way to please him was to BE dead."
"I'm sure there are lots of young men who'd be attracted to you, just as Jeff is."
"Where? I don't think the Briarwood News would accept an advertisement from a guy who wants to meet another guy. I'd have no phone number for him to call unless he called my parents' number and think what a hell of a mess that would bring! I might as well be dead."
"Ryan, be very honest with me..."
"I'll try."
"Tonight, when you called Alex---were you thinking about killing yourself?"
"You wanted an honest answer, so, yes, I was. I mean, if Alex hadn't invited me over to stay tonight--I had no place to go...no one to be with...no one to talk with."
"God, I'm so glad you accepted Alex's invitation!"
"Frankly, I'm surprised he invited me over."
"Ryan, if you've made Alex your friend, you've got one for life. Him and Ted both. Either of them would fight off a dragon for you!"
"You know, Walter, the biggest surprise and the greatest shock in my life was when I saw that you were so understanding...and the way you treat Alex and Ted's relationship? I've never known of any parent who would do that!"
"Ted's mother and dad feel the same toward the two of them as I do."
"Then all three of you are some kind of enigma or phenomenon! God! I'd only been here a few minutes and I was so envious of Alex, I almost hated him!"
"Alex and Jeff know that I'll always be here for them, whatever they want to do with their lives, provided it's legal. I won't condone using drugs or breaking the law, but when it comes to matters of their hearts, they both know I'll be there to back them up!"
"WHY? Why can't my father be like you? Why didn't someone like you adopt me and let me choose the way I wanted to be?"
"You're phrasing your sentences in past tense...Is it 'wanted to be' or 'WANT to be'?"
"WANT to be, although I know I'll never get the chance."
"Can I ask where you intend to stay tomorrow night? According to Alex, your friend's parent didn't want you staying with him. So where are you going to go?"
"Probably in the storage room at the music store where I work."
"With your boss's knowledge?"
"No, I'll have to be very careful. If he finds out I'm sleeping there, he'll more than likely fire me."
"Then you'll be out of a job on top of having no place to sleep."
"Maybe I'll try the bus station for a few nights if I get fired...only until I can find another job."
"Will you do me a favor?"
"Sure."
"Lie down on that mattress and see how it feels?"
"Pardon?"
"Don't worry, Ryan, I'm not trying to seduce you. I just want to know how the bed feels. I've never slept on it since I bought it."
Ryan slowly lay down and stretched out his body on the practically brand new mattress and put his arms on the pillow under his head.
"Wow, this feels great! It's better than the bed I have at home!"
"Then you think you could struggle with the bed and try to get some sleep on it for several days? I mean, could you manage to feel comfortable living here until you find some place you'd rather go?"
"Walter, I couldn't possibly accept your hospitality. I'd feel like a homeless person begging for a handout."
"You ARE homeless, aren't you...at least temporarily...?"
"Well, yes."
"Then why not sleep here and put the mattress to good use. God knows, no one's ever slept on it before. I never knew why my wife wanted a sofa with a queen-sized mattress in the den. Perhaps she had an epiphany before she died and saw you coming here to spend the night." Walter looked about the room. "There's a storage closet in that corner which can easily be converted into your personal closet. I have to go to Connolly's Furniture Store tomorrow to buy a double dresser for Alex and Ted's bedroom. I can move the one Alex is using now down to this room. The three boys all use the same bathroom upstairs. I'm the only one who uses the bathroom down the hall to shave and shower in, If you don't mind, we can share that bathroom between us. You already have cable TV here in the den. Is there anything I've forgotten?"
"If I accept your offer, I...I promise not to interfere with anyone's lives...Yours, Alex's, Ted's. or Jeff's."
"I think you should be more concerned with Jeff interfering with your life. Jeff loves everyone he meets and just naturally believes that everyone loves him."
"I...you won't have to supply my food. I can eat after I leave in the morning and before I return here after work."
"Can you cook?"
"My mother made me learn. I can cook almost anything."
"I'm sure Alex and Ted would welcome any help that's offered to them. Oh, there is one thing I forgot to mention. Alex and Ted will only be living here on alternate weeks."
"Why?"
"Ted's parents and I agreed to have joint custody of the couple. So next week they'll be living at Ted's house. I'll be in charge of making mine and Jeff's breakfast and dinner. Of course, if we...you and I...got home from work about the same time, you and I could make dinner together for us and Jeff. You'd help me quite a bit since Alex won't be here every other week."
"It couldn't be much, but I would like to pay you rent."
"Nonsense! This house was bought and paid for years ago. Your staying here would not increase the utilities any more than if Alex and Ted were here all the time."
"Do you think Alex, Jeff, and Ted will mind my staying here?"
"Alex wouldn't say anything if I invited the Vienna Boys Choir to live here...ALL of them. He loves company. As for Jeff, he'd pitch a fit if he knew I DIDN'T ask you to stay. So is there any unforeseen problem we haven't covered?"
"None that I can think of..."
"Then, you'll stay?"
Ryan rose from the bed and began to pace across the room.
"I'd like to, I mean, I really want to, but you're taking an awfully big risk since you don't know me. I mean I've only known you a few hours."
"Ryan, being a successful attorney, I value my judgment on first appearances. I already know who you are and what kind of person you are. I know, even better than you, what kind of person you wish to be. So I haven't a qualm about offering you a place to live."
"I don't know what to say..."
"Your eyes just said it for you! Come here..."
Ryan walked closer to Walter and Walter placed his arms around Ryan and hugged him into his chest.
"Welcome home, son," Walter said, squeezing Ryan's torso.
"Thanks, Walter...this could be one of the few really happy moments of my life."
"There will be many more, I'm sure, and even happier then this, Ryan. Wait and see."
Ryan took advantage of having his head nuzzled into Walter's shoulder as he began to cry. No one, not even his dad, had ever held Ryan in his arms.
"Cry, son, cry it all out. Things are going to be better from now on."
"Somehow, I believe you, Walter."
"Oh, if 'Walter' sounds to formal, call me 'Daddy Walt' as Ted does. I kinda like that."
"I will, Daddy Walt."
Walter headed out the door, turned and said, "Oh, Ryan, If Jeff begins to annoy you, let me know."
"He'll be all right around me. I mean, it's not as if I'm gonna go to bed with him or anything else for that matter."
"Oh, I'm quite sure you won't. Just don't turn your back or he'll be tackling you to get you in bed. I could say he's precocious but that would just be another way of saying he's horny day and night!"
"What should I do if he confronts me that way? Call for you?"
"Use your own judgment. If Jeff wants to have sex and you're willing, make sure you use precautions. Jeff's of legal age in this state. He has a mind of his own and where sex is concerned, he'll try anything, and he knows he has my permission as long as he practices safe sex."
"You wouldn't mind if Jeff...?"
"I don't mind, but YOU might. Just beat him over the head with a lollipop if he gets out of hand! Good night, Ryan..."
"Good night, sir."
Walter left the den to go down the hall to his bedroom while Ryan looked about the room at his new home.
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(To be continued in "Briarwood" BOOK TWO-chapter twenty-one)