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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2006
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK TEN
"CHRIS AND BEYOND..."
"Some day, when you least expect it,
you'll get yours..."
excerpted from "Some Day"
by Ritch C. Snyder
copyright 1967
Chapter 111
Chris read Carolyn's letter for the third time. She noted that SHE had been aware of Bill's being in love with him all the years that he and Carolyn were married, but now, Chris suddenly wondered it Bill had been aware of it? Chris dwelled back on a thought which he had had earlier...the mere fact that Bill was 'carrying on' with a seventeen-year-old kid, was Bill trying to recapture the long ago relationship which he and Chris had before Bill married Carolyn? After all, both of them were nearing thirty years of age. Bill had changed quite a bit, appearance-wise, but Chris felt that he was still the same person whom Bill had loved growing up through high school. Couldn't someone his own age be attractive to Bill?
Still, why were these thoughts raging through Chris' mind? He had his old college buddy and former lover waiting with open arms for him back in Briarwood. After Bill had jilted Chris to marry Carolyn and the heartbreak and hurt that Chris endured for years...why would he even think of reigniting an old flame? 'Dammit all to hell!" Chris thought. 'Won't eleven o'clock ever get here so that I can call Brad to reinforce our feelings for one another?'
To pass the time, Chris opened his Book of Common Prayer to go over the funeral mass as he had never performed one by himself in the Anglican Church. He had always assisted Cliff while Cliff was celebrating the rite. He had administered the Roman Catholic funeral mass many times in Atlanta and also a generic funeral service for non-Catholics whom had died from AIDS complications.
FINALLY, Chris' watch dinged the eleventh hour and he picked up his cell phone to dial home. Chris felt that just hearing the sound of Brad's calm voice would help to end Chris' newly founded turmoil over the situation with Bill. The phone rang four times...
"Hello? Father Curtis' residence...Jay speaking..."
"Jay?"
"Chris?"
"Yes?"
"Yes! What are you doing there at this hour?" Chris asked.
"Well, I could lie and tell you that I fell head-over-heels, madly in love with your friend, Brad and he invited me here to have a night of wild sex!"
"OK, that's a good lie, now what's the truth?" Chris asked, somewhat jovially.
"Well, the truth is...Brad told me that he wanted to redecorate his bedroom while you were in Riverwind...and YOU KNOW that I can't pass up giving my input when ANYONE wants to redecorate!"
"Oh, Brad told you, did he?"
"Chris, there was NO reason for him to keep his redecorating plan a secret. I'm sure he was a bit stumped on choosing a color scheme and well, like I said...YOU KNOW ME..."
"All too well, I'm afraid, Jay!" Chris joked. "Where IS Brad, Jay?"
"He went into one dark room, followed by another, trying to find somewhere to pee in the dark. Your house IS dismal, you know. It actually gives me the creeps! I'm sure Boris Karloff or Lon Chaney would have adored it, but...ye gods! I'd be afraid to sleep in any room without Troy to cling to, if we lived here!"
"Just thank God that you DO have Troy. I suppose I should thank God that you have Troy with you alone in my house with Brad."
"Can I tell you something while he can't hear me?"
"Please do, Jay, I always enjoy listening to your opinions!"
"I think Brad is dreamy! He's intelligent, good-looking, famously rich, and you're a damned fool if you let him get away! Chris, he's PERFECT for you!"
"Well, thanks, dear Abby, I'll keep that in mind."
"Oops! Here he comes. I don't see any sign of pee on his crotch, so I can only assume that he found the bathroom in the dark. BRAD! TELEPHONE! IT'S CHRIS!"
Brad took the phone. "Hello?"
"Hello, lover!"
"Hello, to you."
"I'm glad you didn't return my greeting by calling me 'lover' in front of Jay. How was dinner?"
"Absolutely, nearly perfect!"
"Nearly?"
"You weren't there!"
"No, and I, so, wanted to be there with you."
"There'll be more times in the future, I'm sure."
"You'd better be sure."
"How are things in Riverwind?"
"Carolyn passed away peacefully and I performed final unction by her bedside and anointed her body."
"I'm glad you were there for her. Chris. How's Bill taking it?"
"About as calmly as if he had missed Alex Trebek's final 'Jeopardy' answer..."
"That's a strange metaphor! What do you mean?"
"Brad, it's as if, Bill was glad Carolyn is gone and out of his way."
"Don't tell me that he's been trying to seduce you already!"
"No...It's not I, whom he's seducing..."
"He has someone else in his life already?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Should I ask? Man or woman?"
"Almost man..."
"A transvestite?"
"No, but I wouldn't object if the transvestite was of legal age."
"Oh, my God! Bill is involved with a kid?"
"A seventeen-year-old precocious kid who wants Bill to buy the two of them motor bikes so that they can ride together..."
"I know that troubles you, but in my point-of-view, I'm kinda relieved...knowing that I'm not in danger of losing you to him."
"I'd almost be willing to attempt luring him, just to get him away from the kid. In Georgia, as in most states, Bill would be considered a child molester and could go to prison."
"He's made his bed, Chris...it's up to him to decide where he wants to put it...in his house or the Georgia State Penitentiary."
"I just don't know HOW he could be so imbecilic!"
"You loved a seventeen-year-old boy once, Chris..."
"Yes, but 'I' was seventeen myself at the time."
"You...you're not going to report him or get him arrested, are you?"
"If it were anyone else other than Bill, I'd do it in a tail-wag!"
"I can see that you're really upset, but, I would like to tell you how much I enjoyed everyone's company at Cliff and Roger's tonight. Those TWO have got to be the PERFECT couple in the world. I seem to hit it off big with Jay and Troy, too. Jay is exactly as you described him to be. Troy is one of the kindest, most caring individuals I've ever met. As for Cliff, God must have been in a very charitable mood when he sent Cliff down to earth. If ever there was a living saint, it's Cliff. Roger should be President...no, he should be King of the Entire World...reasonable, rational, and giving on every topic that we discussed. Hey! He even has ALL of my books in his library."
"Roger's no fool! He knows the right books to read by the right authors."
"Once, during the evening, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and while I was alone, I thought how wonderful it would be...just to be part of their world and having you with me to be part of their family."
"You will be, Brad, once I get back to Briarwood."
"Are you coming home on Friday as planned?"
"Sometime late Friday afternoon or early evening. I'm almost tempted to return home tomorrow and come back to Riverwind for Carolyn's funeral Friday morning."
"Why, for God's sake?"
"Well, since you didn't heed my warning and got Jay interested in the redecorating project...in two days time, I won't even recognize my own home."
"Oh, surely, Jay can't do that amount of damage in two days?"
"Wanna bet? I'd be willing to bet he'll want to pick you up around five-thirty in the morning to begin picking out paint, fabric, furniture, or what-knots!"
"I...I'll drag my feet..."
"Not around Jay, you won't! Where is he now?"
"Upstairs, I'm sure, measuring my bedroom. He brought his own tape measure with him!"
"Uh oh!"
"Chris, just hearing your voice makes me want to hold you. I wish to God I was there with you."
"I wish you were, too."
"While Jay can't hear me, let me tell you how much I missed you tonight and MORE importantly, how much I love you."
"We've only been apart about ten hours and I feel as if it's been weeks. Brad, have no fear about us. I LOVE YOU...and I mean it! I don't know how much you can say to Jay about us, but I think you're really redecorating the guest room tomorrow. I want us to share MY bedroom and make it OUR bedroom beginning Friday night."
"WAIT! LISTEN! I think I hear bells and an angelic choir singing hallelujahs! You've just made me the happiest man on earth. If I weren't a believer, I sure as hell am, now. I, firmly, believe that God wants us to be together."
"I do too, sweetheart! I'm quite certain that Ed is looking down on us giving his full approval."
"I've waited all my adult life for this to happen and it's difficult to believe that it's finally happening as I always wished."
"Brad?"
"Yes, babe?"
"Go ahead and tell Jay about us, but ask him NOT to tell Cliff and Roger. I want us to share the news with them while we're there together!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, it might help Jay with his interior decorating if he knows he's doing it for a newly-united couple! We'd both better check our bank balances, though. Jay has very expensive tastes."
"Are you kidding? Roger wants us to get together so badly, he offered to pay for EVERYTHING!"
"You must have made quite an impression on him AND Cliff to get Roger's blessing!"
"Chris, I...I, only have two words for you..."
"OH?"
"COME HOME! COME HOME, MY DARLING!"
"I will, my love. Go into my bedroom and get my pillow off my bed and hug it all night long...tonight and tomorrow night...and you can hug me ALL night, the next..."
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"JUMPING JESUS ON A SKATEBOARD!" Jay screamed. "When did all this happen?"
"Last night! Chris just confirmed our commitment over the phone just now!" Brad replied with a big grin on his face.
"Lordy! Lordy! The thing I love best next to a June wedding is a December bride!" Jay continued ranting.
"Jay! Jay! Now hold on. There's not going to be a bride in this family. Chris and I will be two husbands and nothing less."
"Heck! That doesn't matter as long as you both dress in white tuxedos when Cliff marries you at the high altar at St. Genesius!"
"Now remember, Jay. It was Chris' idea to tell you...BUT not a word to anyone else at the Cole Estate. Well, maybe you can tell Troy, but Chris wants him and me to break the news to Cliff and Roger."
"Joy! Joy! I can't remember the last time someone told me to keep a secret!...Especially from Cliff and Roger. They always seem to know EVERYTHING before I find out."
"You CAN keep this secret, can't you?"
"Just because I'm loud and talk a lot, doesn't mean I can't be trusted to keep a secret!"
"That's great!"
"I'm just so ecstatic that Chris chose to tell me! Do you know for what reason?"
"The very reason you're here with me now! Chris didn't want you to go to all the trouble of redecorating MY bedroom since we'll be sharing Chris' beginning Friday night after he returns from Riverwind."
"OH HO! So you want me to redecorate the MASTER bedroom? Is that it?"
"I suppose so. The only thing is...we have to decorate MY bedroom as a guest bedroom to keep Roger from getting suspicious."
"I just love intrigue! I guess that's why I love your novels so much."
"Thanks, Jay! I consider that a high compliment."
"It's so funny. While you were gone to the bathroom, I told Chris over the phone that I thought you two would make an ideal couple! You ARE perfect for one another in case you didn't know!"
"I've been carrying that fantasy in my heart ever since Chris left me to enter Divinity School. I'm still speechless myself. I feel like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White, all rolled into one. I've finally got my prince."
"You're right about that, Brad. Chris IS a prince...a prince among princes! But then, you're a prince yourself!"
"Stop! You're embarrassing me!"
"Oh my God!"
"What?"
"You ARE going to be living in Briarwood, aren't you? I mean, I don't want to see the two of you moving to New York or wherever it is that you have your permanent home."
"There's no need to worry, Jay. The only home I have is THIS one. I can write my novels ANYWHERE. One of them which was a bestseller, I even wrote in my car."
"You don't have a residence anywhere?"
"Nope!"
"Why, for God's sake?"
"This might sound stupid to you, but I've spent nearly all of my adult life looking for Chris. I kept hoping against all hope that IF and WHEN I found him, he would be single and the two of us could start again where we left off after college!"
"Jesus Christ! If you don't turn THIS plot into a novel, you're a damned fool! I just love Cinderella stories...only you didn't have a glass slipper to slide onto Chris' foot when you found him."
"I don't mean to sound crass, but I...I had something else I wanted to slide into him."
"And naturally, it was a perfect fit? RIGHT?"
"You better believe it!"
"What's your favorite color, Brad?"
"I never knew I had one until I bought my last car and the salesman asked me that question. That's when I decided my favorite color was and is...forest green!"
"WONDERFUL! Forest green will be the color scheme for the master bedroom. I'd like to contrast it with jonquil yellow and iris violet...very cheerful and spring-like!"
"That sounds great already."
"What I'd really like to do is make the entire place into a flower garden using colors of flowers as a motif for each room...gladioli pale orange, crepe-myrtle blue, and stream the rest of the house with various shades of marigolds, zinnias, lavender...ALL bright and rid this dungeon of the gothic look it's always had."
"You know, I believe Chris would like that!"
"I'm sure if he doesn't the two of us can convince him that he likes it! I'd be willing to bet that Roger will have thirty or forty workers here at dawn to begin the transformation."
"DAWN?"
"DAWN! I'll be by around five-thirty to pick you up. I know two designers who work out of their homes and I'll get them up at six to begin designing drapes, cornice boards, and valances...Sherwin-Williams Paint Store opens at eight. I'll stay up all night and design the color scheme and we'll pick out the paint and it'll be here by nine."
"WHOA! Just how much do you plan on getting accomplished tomorrow?"
"EVERYTHING! Nothing has to be repaired, just spruced up! The good Lord made the world in six days. It takes Ty Pennington a whole week to completely redo a house. I figure with Roger's help and money, we can outdo Ty by six days."
"It's a little difficult for me to comprehend all that magic being done in one day..."
"Well, actually, a day and a half. You said that Chris won't be home until late Friday afternoon which gives us all day Thursday and practically all day, Friday!"
"You must be some kind of a wizard!"
"In some circles, I'm know as Glenda, the Good Blue Fairy!" Jay laughed and Brad joined him.
"I thought Glenda was a witch, not a fairy."
"Actually, Brad, when I want to be, I'm Glenda the bitch, not a witch! Ask Troy!"
"I can't see you being a bitch around Troy. I saw the way he looked at you tonight. It's obvious to see how much Troy loves you!"
"I know, Brad...and I also know that when I'm not hiding behind my campy façade, I love him equally as much as he loves me."
"You know, I KNEW you were hiding another person beneath your flaunty persona. I'd like to get to know THAT Jay as well."
"I seldom show that side of me. The world is TOO serious. You can't escape the news and what's happening around the world. It seems that the celebrities in Hollywood and the music world are the only ones trying to make a difference. In the past few months, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Bono have brought the problem of the rampant rage of AIDS victims in Africa to the world's attention. It was George Clooney who went to the United Nations to get the nations of the world to notice the genocide in Darfur. Rosie O'Donnell has spent millions trying to get people to adopt foster children. Ellen Degeneres is spending a small fortune on world hunger. When Katrina hit New Orleans, WHO got into a row boat to rescue those who were trapped by flooding waters? Sean Penn and Harry Connick, Junior got there to help while the government stood by idly, doing nothing. Barbra Streisand has donated millions of dollars to alert the country about global warming...AND what happens when they give their time and money? They're criticized by those who do nothing BUT criticize! Thousands of United States soldiers and sailors are risking their lives in a senseless war. Did Iraq ask us to invade their country to promote democracy? What the fuck are we doing in Iraq, spending billions to rebuild what we needlessly tore down and destroyed. You see, Brad, THAT'S why I camp it up and pretend to act funny. If I didn't, I'd go crazy! The only time that I get serious and feel like I'm important is when I do volunteer work at Roger's Institute. The patients there get to see my serious side, occasionally, but I think what they really need is someone to give them a good laugh or two. It's true...laughter IS a good medicine."
The whole time Jay was speaking, it was difficult for Brad to keep his eyes from filling up with tears. He had witnessed a side of Jay which few people ever get to see and Brad was grateful to Jay for exposing himself so honestly. Brad, suddenly saw a real Briarwood Boy in action. If the rest of Cliff's 'boys' were like Jay, no wonder everyone wanted to become one of Cliff's army of benevolent Briarwood Boys!
"Jay, thank you for sharing that with me," Brad said. "I feel as if I know the real you, now. Seeing you, Troy, Roger, and Cliff makes me want to be part of your family, more than ever! I might even write a book about all you guys! How many Briarwood Boys, are there?"
"Dozens...from New Hampshire to California...from New York to North Carolina. You'll meet all of them, eventually. We all flock back to see Cliff and Roger from time to time. You're not too old to become one yourself, Brad!"
"Nothing would please me more."
"Well, as soon as you let me plan that December wedding...we'll initiate you at the same time."
"What's the initiation like or is that a secret?"
"You just have to love EVERYONE...find something good in everyone. Help and care about as many people as possible...spread joy, use your God-given talents to make life better and easier for everyone you meet. There's no official creed, but we pattern our lives after Cliff and Roger."
"You've opened my eyes to a new world, Jay!"
"It's not a new world, Brad...just a world that no one ever sees when it's really right before their very eyes!"
"I guess I'll have to start seeing what's before me."
"That's a start!"
"Listen, buddy boy! If you're gonna be back here at five-thirty, you'd better go home and start your planning. It would seem that we have a BIG day before us!"
"Yes, sir! A BIG, BIG DAY!"
"Jay, you're a wonderful person. Troy is very lucky to have you!"
"Tell HIM that!"
"I don't have to...he knows it. I...I asked Chris why you and Troy still lived with Cliff and Roger and now I see...they wouldn't dare let you go. You bring an aura of happiness to everyone...including me!"
"WHY, BRAD! I DO believe you're making a pass at me!"
"That's easy to do...you lovable clown!"
"I COULD go upstairs with you and get your bed warm!"
"NOW, WHO'S making a pass at whom?"
"Oh, I wasn't offering to have sex with you. I just wanted to get your bed warm. I've never ONCE cheated on Troy and never will!"
"Why should you when you have your perfect soul mate?"
"He IS perfect, isn't he?"
"As perfect as Chris is to me!"
"Oh, give me a hug before I go."
"Gladly."
Jay embraced Brad with a big hug and Brad squeezed Jay tightly against him. Jay kissed Brad on the cheek and left. Brad walked out onto the veranda to watch Jay leave in his car. When Jay's car vanished over the hill, Brad looked up at the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for everything...for Chris, for Briarwood, and for my new family!"
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Chris slept peacefully and happily through the night and woke up, nearly starving to death. This was strange for him because he was never hungry the first thing in the morning. He laughed at himself and thought, 'Am I hungry because I'm in love?...Probably...' He thought about the diner where he had eaten the night before and his mouth began to water, thinking about salty country ham, grits, and biscuits! When in Rome...they say! Ha! He wasn't that far away from Rome, Georgia. 'Was this he...Chris, making jokes before breakfast?' Something had happened to change his demeanor...it MUST be love.
Quickly, Chris dressed, went down the stairs of the hotel, out the door, and headed toward the diner. He was almost there when he saw Bill's car parked in front of the eating place. Chris felt he wasn't ready to meet Bill so early and ruin the wonderful feeling he had had while thinking about Brad in Briarwood...and so, Chris stopped to do some window shopping at Riverwind Hardware Store until Brad left. Chris looked through the store windows at tillers, plows, mowers, all kinds of farm equipment and gadgets, while peeking occasionally to see if Bill's car was still there. Chris wasted about twenty minutes window-browsing when he heard a car start up. Chris looked away to keep Bill from seeing him as the car passed. Once the car had gone by, Chris peered into Bill's car to see that it was Bucky driving Bill's car. Bucky was alone. Chris wondered if Bucky had left Bill inside the diner and Chris almost changed his mind about going in.
He casually strolled by the diner, peeking inside as best as he could, but Bill was nowhere in sight, so Chris went inside. He went toward the booth where he sat the night before and the same little teen girl came to him with a glass of water and silverware.
"Well, good mornin'," she said. "Back so soon? You must've liked what you had to eat last night."
"I did," Chris replied. "It was very good...but, I'm surprised to see you this morning. Do you work two shifts a day?"
"Well, I work breakfast and supper, but I leave during dinner at noon."
"That's very admirable!" Chris said. "Are you saving your money to go to college?"
"Nah! I didn't even finish high school. School was too hard for me."
"So are you going to make waiting tables your career?"
"Shoot NO! I'm only doing this until I get enough to go out to California and try out for 'The American Idol'!"
"Oh, you sing?"
"All my life."
"What kind of music?"
"Why COUNTRY, of course."
"Think you're good enough to get on the 'Idol'?"
"Everyone says I can outsing Kellie Pickler...and she almost won!"
"I remember her. She was the cute little blonde from Carolina!"
"She's the one!"
"When are tryouts?"
"Some time in December..."
"Are you going to make enough tips to get all the way to California from Georgia?"
"Probably not, but my boyfriend is gonna help me."
"Oh? Does he sing, too?"
"Heck! Shoot, NO! He cain't carry a tune."
"Does he work?"
"Yes and no..."
"What do you mean?"
"HE calls it work, but I don't!"
"What does he do?"
"I don't know if what he does has a name. Me, I'd call him a 'gofer'! He's been helping out at this man's house whose wife has been real, real, sick! Then, she died yesterday. So, I don't know how long he'll have a job now."
It was as if the girl had pulled a chain to light the bulb over Chris' head.
"Was that your boyfriend who just left before I came in?"
"Sure was! He was on the way to the funeral home to help his boss pick out his wife's casket."
"His name wasn't Bucky, was it?"
"Why, YES IT IS! How in heaven's name did you know his name? Are you one of those physics or fortune-tellers?"
"Psychics!"
"Aw, I KNEW THAT. Are you a psychic, then?"
"Oh, no. I...I'm just good at guessing games."
"Well, you MUST be!"
"Tell me...by the way, what's your name?"
"Cindy...Cindy Lou Ledbetter!"
"Glad to meet you, Cindy Lou Ledbetter. I'm Chris. Tell me, is Bucky going with you to California?"
"A lot of that depends on Bucky's boss."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, Bucky's been keeping house for his boss and his boss promised to buy him a motor bike."
"You're going to California with Bucky on a motor bike?"
"Shoot, yeah! It might take about ten days, but the gas is cheaper on a motor bike than it is in a car."
"You're gonna ride about three-thousand miles sitting behind him on his motor bike?"
"I think it will be kinda adventurous...riding across country in the open air where you can see everything up close and not through the windshield of some car. I want to ride through the painted desert and see all those mesias like I seen on TV in the cowboy movies."
"You mean mesas?"
"Whatever..."
"So what did Bucky have to say to you when he came by? Does he have his motor bike yet?"
"He thinks he might get it after his boss' funeral. He lives next door to his boss."
"I see..."
"Oh, my Lord! Silly me! You came in here to order breakfast and I got to gabbin' and forgot to take your order."
"Well, Cindy Lou Ledbetter, I'm feeling so good right now, I'd like a double order of country ham, grits, scrambled eggs, biscuits, and coffee."
"You ever eaten country ham before?"
"Lots of times, why?"
"It's mighty salty. I, myself, cain't eat it. It gives me the runs.!"
"I seem to be free today so if I get a case of diarrhea, I think I can manage it!"
"Just so you know that I warned you!"
"Thanks!"
"I'll go get your coffee and turn in your order."
"Thanks, Cindy."
'So, little Mister Bucky is taking Bill for a ride...well, not really, he's taking Cindy Lou Ledbetter for a three-thousand mile ride on the back of his brand new motor bike! My! My! My! Fate has a way of working things out for the best! Sorry Bill!'
Chris smiled to himself and sat in the booth feeling great while waiting on his ham and biscuits!
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True to his word, Jay arrived at Chris' house at five-thirty. In his hand, he had a clipboard will dozens of papers containing drawings, sketches, and measurements for the Curtis mansion. Brad answered the door when Jay rang the doorbell.
"Ready to get started?" Jay asked.
"Do we have time for ONE cup of coffee?" Brad asked.
"ONE, but only one. The workers will start arriving in about half an hour?"
"Workers? How many?"
"Hell, I don't know...thirty, forty...who knows? When Roger wants something done, the whole world jumps until he gets it."
"How and when did he contact workers?"
"Roger called them around two this morning and got them out of bed."
"Won't they be disgruntled by getting up so early?"
"Not if they expect to work for Roger again! They'll all arrive bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!"
"Do you mind if I see some of your drawings?"
"I'll show them to you at the decorator's salon. THIS place is going to BRIGHT, COLORFUL, AND CHEERY!"
"I guess I'll just have to trust you, Jay!"
"That's one of the wisest decisions you'll ever make!"
"Want a cup of coffee before we go?"
"Got any carrot juice?"
"I don't think so."
"Let me look in your fridge!" Jay opened the refrigerator, looked inside the crisper and got a bag of fresh carrots. "Where's your blender?"
"Over there on the counter next to the sink. I think there's a juicer attachment!"
"Thank God! That's ONE thing we won't have to buy! OH! CUISINART! THE BEST!" Brad smiled as he poured himself a cup of coffee and watched Jay make carrot juice. Jay added ice cubes to the machine and doctored the health potion with a tablespoon of Tabasco Sauce and drank it down without removing the glass from his lips. BOY! Is that ever so good?"
"Do you drink carrot juice every morning?"
"No, at Cliff's we start the day with a broccoli cocktail! I just assumed that you didn't have any fresh broccoli. That's why I asked for carrots."
"BROCCOLI? YUCK!"
"Don't let Cliff or Roger hear you say that!"
"Oh? Why?"
"One of the first things you'll learn being a Briarwood Boy is that broccoli is man's best friend. All of us drink it. Did you ever see the movie musical, 'L'il Abner'?"
"Yeah, a long time ago...with Peter Palmer."
"Well, you remember how all the men in Dog Patch were strong and muscular from drinking kickapoo joy juice?"
Brad laughed. "Yes, I do."
"To the Briarwood Boys, broccoli juice is our kickapoo joy juice and we're ALL strong and healthy."
"But didn't that affect their sex life in Dog Patch? I mean, none of the guys were interested in the girls!"
"WELL..." Jay said, tapping his foot on the kitchen floor.
Brad caught onto Jay's joke and laughed out loud. "You're TOO much, Jay!"
"Troy has said that for years...every night while we're making love! 'JAY! YOU'RE TOO MUCH!'...and that pleases me! Are you through with your coffee?"
"I might as well be."
"Then, let's us get the hell out of here. Leave the house unlocked so that the contractors and workers can begin tearing out walls or whatever the fuck they're planning to do!"
"TEARING OUT WALLS?"
"Relax, Brad, they professionals. They wouldn't dare fuck up a Roger Cole project!"
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"Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all comfort; Deal graciously, we pray thee, with all those who mourn, that, casting every care on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
May Almighty God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, bless you and keep you, now and for evermore. Amen."
Thus Chris concluded the funeral service for Carolyn. Father James at St. Michael's Church had been very helpful and extremely generous to Chris by letting him wear Father James' own, personal vestments. An observer might estimate that there were approximately fifty people attending Carolyn's service. Chris addressed most of the mass toward Bill, who was seated next to Bucky. Several times, Bill would reach over and five Bucky's knee and lower thigh a pat. Subconsciously, every time Chris saw this action between Bill and Bucky, Chris would raise the decibels of his voice and speak much louder, as if to get Bill's undivided attention.
Most of Carolyn's women friends were sniffing and sniveling throughout the funeral while a few of the men pretended to have nose allergies while hiding the real reason that they were blowing their nose...ALL but Bill. Bill didn't shed a single tear and deeply inside this was making Chris irate. 'For God's sake, Bill, can't you at least put on a sad façade, cry a few tears to show yours and Carolyn's friends that you actually miss her!'. But no, Bill was complacent to sit next to his young newly found lover.
The funeral AND the graveside services were complete. The crowd of mourners left the cemetery for the grave diggers to complete Carolyn's interment. Before leaving most of the friends stopped by to pat Bill on the back, give him a hug or a handshake to offer their condolences. Only Bill, Bucky, and Chris remained beside the grave. Bill walked over to Chris and offered his right hand while giving Chris a semi-hug with his left. Bucky got the hint that Bill and Chris should have a moment or two alone together so he went back to Bill's car to wait on him.
"Thanks so much, buddy, for coming here from Briarwood and giving Carolyn her last wish," Bill said. "I suppose you'll be heading back home this afternoon."
"Mind you, Bill, I came to do what I could for Carolyn AND for you, that is, until I got here to learn of your extra-marital activities."
"You just can't seem to be happy for Bucky and me, can you?"
"Bill, the Bible teaches us in Ecclesiastes that there's a time and a season for everything under the sun, but your demonstrative affection for your boy toy at your wife's funeral was neither the time OR the place. I feel as if I don't know you. Very frankly, you embarrassed me, Bill. You're not the guy I once called my best friend and the person whom I fell in love with back in high school."
"I suppose since you became a priest, that gives you the authority to sit in judgment on everyone and everything! How about YOUR homosexuality? Who sits in judgment over YOUR transgressions?"
"I don't sit in judgment over anyone, Bill, but certain things are against the law...things which I have NO jurisdiction over...and what you're doing with Bucky is illegal."
"So, are you going to turn me in to the law and get me arrested?"
"Don't think the idea hadn't crossed my mind. But, no, I won't do that due to the fact that we were closer than brothers at one time."
"You're not jealous of Bucky, are you, Chris?"
"Would I be jealous of you if you robbed a bank and suddenly became a millionaire? Hardly! Only if you robbed a bank, your punishment would be less severe than molesting a teenager! I've done ministry work in prisons and child molesters don't live very long once they've been incarcerated, whereas, a bank robber is sometimes looked up to as a hero!"
"I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, Chris. Bucky is waiting for me in the car. Can I give you a lift back into town? I doubt if you can call a cab to come pick you up in the middle of a cemetery!"
"I have my cell phone. I'll call a cab and if I'm unsuccessful, I'll try to get a ride back to Riverwind with the grave diggers!"
"Suit yourself, buddy!"
Bill left Chris standing beside Carolyn's grave and went to the car. Then he and Bucky drove off together.
Chris then, called the Riverwind telephone operator to call a cab. The first one he tried told Chris that it would be about fifteen minutes before one would arrive to pick him up. Chris decided to walk around the graves to see if he remembered any of the names of his former neighbors or friends who might have passed on after he moved from Riverwind. Then, he suddenly got an idea and dialed Brad's cell phone in Briarwood.
"Hello?" Brad answered.
"Hey, lover!" Chris said.
"Hey, there, yourself! How are you?"
"Don't ask!"
"What's the matter?"
"At present, I'm stranded in the middle of Riverside Memorial Gardens waiting on a taxi."
"YOU'RE WHAT?"
"Long story...but I'd rather wait to tell you about it later today when I get home. Where are you?"
"Now it's MY turn to say, 'don't ask'! You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
"Oh, my God! You're with Jay and you've gone to pick out paint for the bedroom."
"Let's leave it at that for now."
"Brad, do you love me?"
"That's the dumbest thing you could've ever asked me! You know that I love you more than life itself!"
"I was wondering if you could float me a loan until I can make arrangements to pay you back."
"Sweetheart! EVERYTHING I have is half yours! You should know that. How much do you need?"
"I'm not sure...somewhere between five and ten-thousand dollars!"
"My God, I thought you were renting a taxi, NOT buying one."
"Crazy! I...I want to make a donation to a charitable cause..."
"Do you think ten-thousand is enough? I could give you as much as you need! You know the size of my bank account. I've never touched the residuals from my FIRST novel and there's been nearly a dozen books after that one! The money has just been sitting there gathering dust and interest all these years. I've had no rent or mortgage to pay...no utilities...practically, 'no' nothing!"
"Wire me ten thousand and I'm sure that'll be plenty. You have the name of my hotel and address in Riverwind. I'm sure that the desk clerk will inform me as soon as the money arrives."
"Chris, if you're donating ten-thousand dollars to a charitable cause, would you like to donate ten-thousand more in MY name? It would be our first venture as a couple."
"Thanks, babe, but this donation HAS to be from me and me only!"
"Just remember...if you need more, CALL ME! What time are you coming home?"
"You can pick me up at the airport at 7:33 tonight."
"Naked?"
"If you're brave enough, why not? Only if you get arrested, that might make it impossible for us to spend the night together unless I get arrested, too, and we can share the same cell at the Briarwood Jail!"
"OK! It's too cold to drive naked, anyway. I'll dress up, BUT I'll go commando in case you want to do some exploring in my pants pockets while I'm driving us home!"
"One thing I didn't ask you last night, for fear what your answer might be...but DID you and Jay redecorate the guest room or paint OUR bedroom?"
"NO, babe! I swear to you that Jay NOR I picked up a paintbrush or did ANY redecorating at all!" Brad lied as neither he NOR Jay had done ANYTHING...however two contractors and forty-two workmen had done it all instead. Most of them were still there, putting on finishing touches of the entire mansion to Roger's delight!
"That's a relief. You and I can do it next week some time."
"Oh, Jay is going to prepare dinner for the two of us tonight, then he's leaving to go home."
"Isn't that nice of him? I told you that you'd like Jay. He's a real jewel!"
"A diamond in the rough!...Well, not THAT rough! How was the funeral?"
"Nice. About fifty of Carolyn's close friends attended."
"Did Bill have a tough go, sitting through her funeral?"
"He, uh, seemed preoccupied, as if he wasn't aware of the situation."
"Probably grief, compounded by shock..." Brad added.
"Yes, something like that!"
"Chris, WHAT is going on? You're talking kinda funny!"
"Ionesco, who was the master of absurd theater, couldn't have written a plot so bizarre as Bill's reaction to Carolyn's funeral."
"Christ! What did he do?"
"I'd rather tell you the whole story after I've written the final chapter!"
"After YOU'VE written the final chapter? You...you didn't sleep with Bill last night, did you?"
"You still don't trust me, do you?"
"I will, ONCE you're home."
"Brad, even if you hadn't walked back into my life this week, I would NEVER sleep with Bill...not now, not ever!"
"You're building the kind of suspense that's killing me!"
"Wait until tonight and I hope you'll get a big laugh out of it!"
"Isn't there an earlier flight to Briarwood?"
"No...the one I'm taking is the VERY earliest!"
"I think I see my taxi, so, if nothing happens, I'll see you in a few short hours!"
"I can't wait!"
"Neither can I!"
Chris hung up the call and waved at the taxi driver and ran to get in the cab.
"Where to?" the driver asked.
"Uh, do you know if there's a dealer in Riverwind that sells motor bikes?"
"Sure, Carl's Bikes on Old Hickory Street."
"Would you mind taking me there?"
"Rightaway!"
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(To be continued in "Briarwood"---Book Ten---'Chris and beyond...' ---chapter 112).