Brian and Me

By D LS

Published on May 9, 2003

Gay

Hello, all, it's been a while, eh? No excuses, really, because I've been up all night and I'm about ready to go to bed. Just know that I'm fully aware of how long this one took me, and I do apologise, okay? Okay.

Normal disclaimer, same as always. The story that follows, and all of the story that's come before this one, is all fiction. I know nothing of the real lives of any of the people mentioned or portrayed, and am not trying to make any sort of statement about how they actually might live their lives. They're real people, these ones aren't. They're all from my head. If you shouldn't be reading stories of a sexual nature, or don't agree with stories involving homosexual relationships, then you really shouldn't be here, and you really should be paying closer attention, if you're at part 11 and still haven't figured out that you don't like this sort of thing.

All that being said, if you choose to read on, I hope you enjoy.

Part 11

Andy had to be at the office when my plane landed, so I caught a cab from the airport to the condo, wanting to get myself a nap as soon as possible so that I could be half-way human by the time she got home. Stepping inside was odd. I can't think of a better word for it. It didn't look like Andy had changed much at all in the entire place. Just about everything was exactly as I remembered it, even though it had been ages since I had set foot in the house.

That thought actually surprised me enough that I had to sit down. Dropping into the rocker by the window, I tried to remember when it had been. When it finally hit me, I could hardly believe it. I hadn't been there since I had left to go on my business trip to New York before joining Brian on tour in Chicago. After I had left him, I had retreated to my apartment in Toronto and practically barricaded myself in.

Of course, Erron had been there, having given up his own apartment, and I had to withstand his constant barrage of questions, as well as those from everyone else. Andy had flown north as soon as she heard the news, demanding an explanation. I had refused to provide her or anyone else with one, insisting that I was going to be fine, and that my leaving was for the best.

To prove that I was moving forward -- as much to myself as to everyone else -- I had gone looking for a new apartment. Erron had, predictably, offered to be the one to move since it was technically my apartment but I had refused, believing that a change of scenery was just what I needed in order to get on with things. And so Erron had stayed where he was and I had moved to my new apartment. An apartment that was now sitting empty again.

A year and a half. It had been a year and a half since I had last been looking around this room. Standing up again, I smiled and picked up the familiar silver lump from the top of the stereo. Tossing it in the air a few times, I made my way into my bedroom, picking up my suitcase on the way.

The first thing that was immediately obvious was that Andy had kept it up for me. My plants were thriving, and there wasn't a speck of dust to be seen. I smiled at her thoughtfulness and put my suitcase down on the bed, which had obviously been freshly made-up.

I unpacked quickly and stashed the suitcase under the bed, then sat down on it and pulled out my phone and dialed a number that I hadn't used in what seemed like forever.

Stacey no longer worked at Dad's office, so there was no need for idle chit chat when the phone was answered by another female voice. I merely asked to be connected to Andy, and then waited on hold as it went through.

"Hello?"

"How's my girl?"

"Nate! You just getting in?"

"A little while ago, yeah. I just got myself unpacked, and I think I'm going to lay down and take a nap for a while." In fact, I decided to lay down while we talked, so that there would be less to do when we were done. I fought the desire to close my eyes, though. If I had done that, Andy would have quickly found herself talking to a dead line.

"We on for dinner?" she asked.

"You bet. I'll be here when you get home, though you might need to give me a kick to get me moving. You wanna go out or stay in?"

"Depends on what you want to do. Are you too tired?"

"I'll be okay after I sleep for a while."

"Then let's go out. It's been way too long since I've been able to show off my little brother around town."

I smiled at that and wondered if that was going to be my new title. "I was just thinking about how long it's been, actually," I told her. "And don't call me your little brother! You're only a couple of weeks older than I am."

"But so much prettier."

"I know some men who would argue with that."

"Straight men?"

"Maybe."

"Erron, Nick, and Brian don't count, you know."

"Why not? They're men, and their opinion is just as valid as anyone else's."

"Sweetie, they don't count because their taste has been completely destroyed. You see, the moment that they kissed you, they became suspect. The moment they didn't immediately vomit, their credibility was totally shattered." She started to laugh, so I jammed down a few buttons on the phone, sending the tones shooting into her ear.

Once we were both done laughing, I took up the conversation again. "You've kissed me too, you know. Which, unless you puked and I didn't see it, means that you--"

"That's different. I kissed you like a sister. They kissed you, well, like a sistah." She added a lisp at the end to get me laughing again.

"Hey! Wait a minute! How do you know about Nick?"

"What?"

"How do you know that Nick kissed me? I never told you about that."

"Oh, that. Nick told me. After we got up on New Year's, actually. I asked the two of them how long they had been going around behind my back, and they told me."

"How much did Nick tell you?"

"Pretty much the whole thing, I think. About how he talked to you that night in the hotel, and you told him what happened to you. I got his side of everything that you told me about, and he filled in the gaps that you couldn't."

"I can't believe he told you he kissed me. That knocked him on his ass."

"Gee, we don't think too much of ourselves, do we?"

I chuckled, then clarified. "I meant that he scared himself when it happened. He thought Brian and I were going to be angry, and he was really embarrassed about it. I'm just surprised that he told you."

"Well, he did. He doesn't seem too embarrassed about it now."

"Good. You know he almost didn't come with us to the cabin that time? After that kiss, he didn't think we would want him around, and he was on guard with us a bit. If he hadn't gone, who knows if he and Erron would have even met before now?" I tried to stifle the yawn, but it caught me off-guard. Andy heard it and started to laugh.

"Did you get any sleep on the plane?"

"No."

"Were you working?"

"For pretty much the whole flight. The lady beside me was pretty boring, but at least she was bright enough to see that I wasn't interested in hearing about her grandkids. Once I started up the computer, she left me alone."

"Well then, why don't we get off the phone, and you can take your nap. I don't want you falling asleep on me tonight."

"Um, sweetie, I don't think that there's any danger of that happening. I don't intend on being on you tonight."

"You know, that's one of those things that you shouldn't say to your sister."

"Then I guess it's a good thing you're more of a sistah, eh?"

"Just shut up and go to sleep."

"Yes'm. I'll see you when you get home. Bye, Andy." I flipped the phone closed and set it on the bedside table, then lay my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes.

Rather than kick me, Andy woke my by ripping some hair from my leg.

"AH!" I yelled, sitting up quickly and swatting at her hand as it tried to grip some more. "What are you doing?"

"Making up for lost time, four-eyes," she laughed, then reached for my face. Given the rude awakening I had just received, I thought that my flinch away from her was warranted. Andy laughed and tried again. "Hold still, sweetie." She took hold of my glasses and straightened them for me.

"Damn. I always forget those." I still wasn't used to wearing my glasses all the time. When things looked blurry anyway, there wasn't much point in putting them on in the morning. So now, when I managed to remember to put them on, I tended to forget to take them off before bed. Several times I had woken up to find them askew on my face, but I had managed so far not to break them or bend them out of shape.

"They're sharp-looking," she smiled, dropping her hands again and giving me an appraising look. "Though the reflection off of them makes your eyes a lot harder to see."

"They're supposed to be as non-reflective as possible."

"Why not just get contacts and save the hassle?"

"Ew. There's no way I'm sticking my fingers in my eyes. You're just going to have to live without seeing my beautiful eyes."

"It'll be tough, but I'll give it a shot."

"You just get home?" I arched my back and raised my arms above my head, listening as my back popped loudly.

"My, that's a lovely sound." She made a sour face. "And yes, I just geo home. Dad says hi, by the way."

"How about we go out there and see them after dinner?"

"Sure. They're having dinner with the Simmons twins tonight, so they'll be happy to see us. They'd be happy to see Hitler, I think."

"Oh, I'd forgotten about the Simmons twins!" I laughed. "I can't believe they still hang out with them."

Bob and Ethel Simmons were -- or liked to think that they were -- friends of Mom and Dad. In truth, Dad couldn't stand them, but none of us could get Mom to say a word against them. None of us believed that she liked them any more than we did, but she absolutely refused to admit to it. That was just her way.

They were really man and wife, but Andy and I had always referred to Bob and Ethel as 'the twins.' Mom and Dad thought it was funny, but they wouldn't join in because they were afraid of saying it in the wrong company and inadvertently offending them.

Bob and Ethel were so alike it was creepy. It was sweet, and somewhat endearing, when most couples were that close. But these two took it to a whole new level, and it was simply too much to take. Not only did they know each other well enough to finish each other's sentences, but they even looked alike. They had been together long enough to pick up each other's mannerisms, and even laughed alike. Hell, the last time I had seen them, I would have sworn Ethel had even appeared to be developing a moustache like Bob's.

Individually, they were almost too irritating to bear. Put together, they were annoyance taken to epic proportions. Andy and I had always made up excuses to get out of dinners with them if we could.

"You'll have to thank Mom when you see her, too. Her welcome home present for you was not inviting you tonight. She thought she'd save you the brainpower that it takes to come up with a plausible reason to miss dinner."

"She's a good woman," I laughed. "And speaking of dinner..."

"We have reservations at Angelo's," Andy smiled. "I've got to catch a shower and," she smiled as she sniffed, "so do you, sweetie."

"You're just trying to see me naked."

"I've seen it, remember?"

"I remember. I just find it vaguely unsettling that you can't seem to forget it. I don't know how many times I can say this, my dear, but you're not my type."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to try and cope without you in my bed," Andy said. She then licked her thumbs and, before I could react, wiped them across the lenses of my glasses, smearing them and effectively blinding me.

"Ack! You bitch!"

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hop in the shower." Andy jumped off the bed and ran into her room to get some clean clothes. I threw my glasses onto the bed and raced into the bathroom before she could get there. Turning the lock that we rarely used, I laughed at her protests as I undressed and started the water running.

"Nate! Let me in!"

"Sorry, I can't hear you!" Laughing, I stepped into the shower and slid the glass door, thumbing the button to send the water through the shower.

I would have extended the shower but I didn't know how long we had before our reservations for dinner and I knew that Andy would never forgive me if I made us late. So, I took just long enough to frustrate her a little bit more, then got out.

Wrapping a towel around my waist, I stepped out into the hall. As I passed by the door to the kitchen on my way back to my room, Andy's hand shot out and ripped the towel away, leaving me standing there naked with a stupid expression on my face. Before I could react, Andy started laughing and took off down the hall, slamming the bathroom door behind her.

"Oh, that's it," I muttered, continuing to my room. I threw on some boxers and a pair of pants, then headed for the kitchen. Getting a butter knife out of the drawer, I returned to the bathroom door. It took a few seconds, but I managed to get the door opened. It's not like they really make those locks to be much of a challenge.

Andy was humming to herself as I opened the door and stepped inside. I tried not to laugh and let her know I was there as I went around the room, gathering up her clothes and every towel in sight, as well as those in the little cupboard by the sink. I even took the washcloths. Smiling to myself, I made a quick trip back to my room to deposit all but one of the towels, then went back into the bathroom, finding it more and more difficult to keep from laughing.

"Better hurry or we'll be late!" I yelled above the noise of the shower, then flushed the toilet and ran.

Andy's yell of surprise took on a new element as the cold water hit her, and I finally let myself laugh. I walked in and sat down casually on her bed, waiting for her.

"Nate!"

"Yes, dear?"

"Where are the damn towels?"

"Oh, do you not have one? I've got a spare. Come here and I'll give it to you!"

"You just stay right where you are! Once I'm dressed, we're going to have us a little chat, and then I'm going to kill you!"

I grinned, knowing that she thought I was in my own room. "If you insist, but I'd be more than willing to share my towel with you!"

I heard the bathroom door open, and a moment later, Andy came charging into the room, naked and dripping. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me sitting on the bed.

"Hi," I said through my smile, holding the towel out toward her.

"You little bastard." I said nothing. I just continued to hold the towel out, shaking it a little. Andy reached out and snatched it away from me, quickly wrapping it around herself. I could see her working to keep the smile off of her face. She was losing the battle. "Well," she said, pulling her robe off of the hook on the back of her closet door and putting it on. "I guess we're even now. We've both seen a view to turn us off of men forever."

"Honey, you're going to have to do better than that to get me to switch teams."

"You're not," she returned. "After the show I got tonight, I'll probably puke at even the thought of a naked man."

I grinned and put my arm around her. "Trust me, Andy. Once you learn to control that gag reflex, you'll have a lot more fun."

"Please," she laughed. "Just go get ready. I don't want to have to look at your girly chest any longer than I already have."

Heading for the door, I couldn't resist a parting shot. "From what I just saw, you wouldn't know what a girly chest would look like." I took off down the hall again before she could find something to throw at me.

Dinner was fantastic. I had hoped to meet Philip -- the waiter from my first date with Brian -- again, but he was nowhere in sight. Andy and I spent the majority of the time talking about me and Brian, and how things were going to work with me in LA.

We discussed my therapy, and I told her everything I knew about Dr. Tomlinson, who was to be my new psychiatrist. Not that there was much to tell. About the only thing that I knew about the man was that he was very good, very busy, and a very good friend of Dr. Lauler. It was his friendship with Dr. Lauler that had gotten me in. Dr. Tomlinson had actually added time into his weekly schedule as a personal favour to his friend in order to fit me in.

After I had Andy assured that that part of my life was going to be fine in spite of the change of location, we discussed more practical matters. The first of these was Brian, and how we were going to work things. Unfortunately, the only thing I could tell her was that we were going to play it by ear.

I knew that I would be seeing Brian in two weeks. How long that visit was going to last, I didn't know, though it most likely would only be for a few days. The two things that I did know about it was that we were going to settle things with Andrew, and that I was finally going to meet Brian's wife. After that, I wasn't sure when I would be seeing him again. I knew that we had to do something about Jackie, but that was for Brian to decide. When he was ready, we would do it.

I was as close to positive as it was possible to get that I would be with him on his birthday, which was now only a little over a month away, but where and for how long that visit was going to be, I didn't know.

Once Andy and I were clear on that, we changed gears again and talked about the Toronto contingent of our little family. Andy was worried that we would lose touch with everyone there, but I assured her that I wasn't about to let that happen.

"Trust me, Andy," I said, snatching the check away before she could get to it. "I know how important they are. I'm not about to let any of them out of my sight for long."

"I know that, but it's a bit of a hassle trying to organise everything, what with you globetrotting all over the place."

I stuck my tongue out at her with a smile. "I already told them that I would be popping up north for a visit every now and then, and they've all agreed to come down here soon, too. It'll be nice to have them down here with us instead of us up there with them."

"Mom and Dad would love that! Erron's like the daughter they never had."

I laughed. "Well if you weren't so butch, maybe they'd like you better too."

"Just let me pay the bill so we can get out of here and ask them in person." Andy reached out and tried to take the paper, but I pulled my arm back and got up from the table.

Andy met me by the door and we headed for Mom and Dad's house. While far from being a mansion, the house was a large one. Especially when you considered the fact that only the two of them lived there. Andy had told me that the house that she had grown up in had actually been much smaller than the one they lived in now. Mom and Dad had decreased their family by one and increased their living space by at least 200%, according to Andy.

Because of the size of the property, Andy and I had both taken to calling it 'the Cameron Compound'. Set well back from the street, the house was surrounded by a huge lawn and several smaller gardens, and the whole property was encircled by a shoulder-high stone fence. It had always amazed me that two people normally so open to everyone would choose a house that was fenced-in.

I pulled into the driveway and Andy jumped out, using her key to open the gate. I drove in and stopped again, letting her close it and get back in. "Damn gate," she muttered. "I keep telling them to get one of those systems where you just lean out and punch in the code."

"And they refuse because?"

"Dad says that if someone really wants to see them, they should be willing to get out and open the gate or hit the buzzer."

I smiled, thinking about how like Dad that was. Pulling in front of the garage, I used the remote clipped to Andy's visor to open a door and park inside.

True to our parent's nature, no servants met us at the door. Mom absolutely refused to have live-in help. Instead, she took care of the majority of the everyday tasks around the house, and had a service come in once a week to do a thorough job of it.

It was one of the main differences between my two sets of parents. My mother and father wouldn't have dreamed of doing that. We had also had a cleaning service when I was growing up, but that had been mainly because the apartment just wasn't big enough to really warrant a full-time maid. Besides, they had had me. I was the designated dishwasher and laundry-person of the house. But you could bet that, had we lived in a house like this one, there would have been a small squadron of hired help.

The only person who did live full-time in the house other than Mom and Dad was the cook. Andy had picked up her distaste for cooking from her parents, and so they employed a woman whose only job was to get their meals for them.

They had hired an incredibly nice and capable woman in her early sixties named Marie, and she had since become like one of the family. She was too professional to let herself actually become one of the family, but she was close. She basically had run of the kitchen, as well as her own little one-bedroom apartment off of it.

Andy and I went straight to the kitchen, figuring that Marie would most likely know where we could find Mom and Dad. I also wanted to say hi to her again. It had been a long time since I had even seen her, and even longer since I had had one of her incredible chocolate chip cookies.

Marie stuck her head out of her apartment when we entered the kitchen, having heard us come in. When she saw me, I saw her smile appear at the same time mine did. She threw the door open and swept me into a hug. Marie was a rather large woman and her hugs could be almost lethal if she put the effort into them, which she certainly did now. I was almost bowled off of my feet.

"Hi, Marie," I laughed, returning the hug.

She pulled away from me again and smiled. "I'm surprised you can still find the place."

I felt a lump rise in my throat immediately. "Marie--"

Her hands let go of my shoulders. "Doesn't matter. You don't owe me any explanations. It's good to see you."

"You too," I smiled back.

After a complaint from Andrea about feeling neglected, Marie gave her a hug as well and got us both seated in the little breakfast nook. Marie went to the fridge and poured us each a glass of milk, then got down the cookie jar from the top shelf of the cupboard.

She had to use a stool to get the jar, as did anyone else who wanted it. It wasn't really meant as a deterrent, though. Marie believed that if someone wanted something, they should have to work for it. Even if all they wanted was a cookie. It was similar, I suppose, to Dad's reasoning for not getting an automatic gate.

I felt my Pavlovian response setting in when I saw her remove a few of her famous (famous to those who had ever had one, anyway) chocolate chip cookies and put them on a plate, then return the jar to the cupboard. I knew that I'd be making a trip to the cupboard before we left the house again.

Marie set the plate and glasses in front of us, but stopped short of sitting down with us. "Have you two had dinner?"

"We came straight from the restaurant," Andy told her, scooping one of the cookies before I could grab it. "Just figured we'd touch base with Mom and Dad. Nate got in this afternoon."

"I didn't figure you'd come all the way over here to sit and gab with the hired help. Do they know you were coming?"

"No. We were hoping to give them a pleasant surprise. Sort of a treat for having to spend the evening with the Simmons twins," Andy said with a smile.

"My, those two can eat," Marie laughed. "But your luck's out tonight. They're still here." We sighed in unison, making her laugh again. "They had dinner by the pool and, as far as I know, they're still there. Either of you want something else to eat?"

We both declined the offer, though I hinted that our place was woefully low on chocolate chip cookies. Marie dropped me a wink, then disappeared into her apartment while we went in search of Mom and Dad.

Andy and I walked to the pool like two inmates on the long walk down death row. We had both been planning on the Simmons' being gone by the time we got there, and neither one of us wanted to have to actually speak with them.

Mom saw us coming and smiled, knowing what was going on in our heads. I noticed that she didn't give us away, though, in case we wanted to make a getaway. I briefly considered it, then felt Andy nudge me further into the room.

It was a huge room. The pool was, for reasons that only the designer of the house would have been able to explain, completely enclosed and heated. Though I could see the usefulness of such a thing if it were back in Toronto, LA was definitely warm enough to have the pool outside.

Not that Mom and Dad minded much. The far end of the room had been renovated and expanded so that it was basically a sun room. They often ate there when they were both home, as the setting sun shone through the windows and reflected beautifully off of the water in the pool. It was doing so when we walked in.

Because of the size of the room we were only half-way to the table when the rest of them finally noticed us. Dad's smile grew to match Mom's, knowing that we had been caught. When the twins turned around, I fought the urge to turn and run, and continued walking.

"Nate!" Ethel said, bouncing up out of her chair. "Look honey, it's Nate!"

"So it is! It's been ages since we've seen you, son."

I mentally cringed at his calling me son, but kept it off of my face. I gave them both a smile and shook hands with them, then moved away and went to say hello to Mom and Dad, who both looked like they were enjoying themselves.

"So what have you been up to, that you couldn't come and visit us?" Ethel asked, sitting down again. Andy and I pulled chairs to the table and sat as well, both trying to get as far from the Simmons's as we could without being overly rude about it.

"Oh, this and that," I told her, exchanging a quick look with Mom and Dad. Neither one of them had told anyone outside of the house what I had been up to. "Working on the book."

"Oh, that's right! There's a new one coming out soon, isn't there?"

"Yeah, in a couple of weeks," I said with a smile. "You'll have to let me know what you think of it."

"I'm sure it's great," Bob told me. "Any chance of getting a free copy?"

"Well, sir, I don't know. The company will only give me so many, and there's a lot of orders in already." That was true, though in reality, the limit set by the company was more than enough to cover what I needed. "But I'll tell you what. When you're done with the book, leave it with Mom and Dad here, and I'll be happy to autograph it for you if you like." I smiled, knowing that I had just roped Mom and Dad into another dinner in the relatively near future, while at the same time implicitly telling them that I wouldn't be in attendance.

"Sounds good," Ethel agreed. "I'll have to leave my copy of 'Blue Sky' too."

To our combined relief, Bob and Ethel excused themselves after only ten minutes of small-talk, after extracting another promise from me to sign their books for them. Mom and Dad, being good hosts, walked them out. Andy and I stayed at the table, trying to regain the brain cells that talking with the twins had killed.

"You wanna go swimming?" Andy asked suddenly.

I looked at the pool and realised that I hadn't been swimming in what seemed like forever. It took me a moment to remember when it was, then I surprised myself when the answer came. The last time I had been in the water, I had been teaching Robbie to dive.

"Yeah, yeah I do." I got up, offering her my hand and pulling her out of her chair, and we went looking for the spare suits that we knew Mom and Dad kept around. There were two little changing rooms set off the side of the main room, and it only took us a few seconds to get changed and to claim a towel out of the closets in each changing room.

Mom and Dad returned just as I was diving in, and decided to join us. They disappeared into the change rooms as Andy and I played around in the shallow end.

"Race you."

I looked over at her doubtfully. "You know I always win."

"Well, aren't we cocky? Does that mean you're in?"

"Eat my wake," I laughed.

It was something that Andy and I did just about every time we got into the pool. It had started in university, and continued after we moved down to LA together. Dad had once joked that he was going to have starting blocks installed on the edge of the pool. He had stopped joking about it when Andy and I started to think it was a good idea.

I climbed back out of the pool with Andy and stood a few feet away from her on the edge. "You ready to lose?"

"Bring it on, sissy-boy." Andy crouched down and waited for me to join her. As soon as I did, she started the count. "One, two, three, GO!"

We dove in at the same time, though I knew that if I won she would complain that I had started early. I would do the same on the off chance that she won.

Andy had never ever beat me in a swimming race, and it quickly showed that this wasn't going to be the day she did it. I got three quarters of the way to the other end of the pool -- the race consisted of one trip to the other end and back -- then rolled over on my back to watch her as she tried to catch up.

"Quit being cocky and swim!" Dad laughed from the edge, and I looked over at him with a smile before I flipped back over and kicked myself away from the wall of the pool, passing by Andy on my way back.

Mom and Dad were both standing at the finish line when I got there. I stopped swimming and coasted in, enjoying my comfortable lead, then tapped the wall of the pool and stood up, throwing my hands over my head in victory and realising how out of breath I was.

Andy wasn't that far behind. Much closer than usual, actually. I supposed that was normal, since I hadn't been swimming in two years, and she had been in the water countless times. And chain-smoking for as long as I had been definitely seemed to have taken its toll. I put my hand out and caught the top of her head, stopping her just short of touching the wall.

"Come on Andy, you're almost there!" I laughed as I brought her to a stop and she stood up. She growled and put her hands on my shoulders and pushed down. She simultaneously managed to dunk me and lift herself up to sit on the edge of the pool.

They were all laughing when I sputtered my way back to the surface. Her first words, as I had predicted, were 'You cheated.' We argued good-naturedly about it for a few more seconds until Dad stepped in and called it a tie. It was the way our races always ended up. I beat Andy and she argued until someone declared it a tie on the grounds that I might have cheated. I knew that, on the off chance that she ever beat me, there would be no tie. She would never let that happen.

After we caught our breath again -- it took me decidedly longer than it took Andy -- the four of us jumped back in the water and messed around, just enjoying being around each other.

"You know," Andy said after a little while, swimming up to me and taking my head in her hands. "I think you'd look good if you went back to your old hairstyle."

Mom, hearing the topic of discussion, came swimming over immediately. "It's too long now," she said appraisingly, looking me over. "I agree with Andy."

"And you should go shock blond," Andy continued.

"Now that I don't agree with. I think it's fine the colour that it is, but you need it shorter. It would look good with this," she smiled, then reached out and pulled on what little goatee I had grown so far.

We talked about it for a little while longer, eventually getting out of the water and sitting around the pool with our feet dangling over the side.

"So tomorrow, I go and get this mop chopped?" I asked, running my hands through my hair. It wasn't long, really. Not down to my shoulders or anything like that. But it was quite a bit longer than I used to wear it. I smiled when I realised that the last time I had had my hair cut the way I was going to get it cut the next day was just before I had met Brian. After we got together, he and the guys had encouraged me to let it grow a bit.

By now even Dad had been pulled into the discussion, and they all agreed with the plan for my hair. Now I needed their help with another one. "Okay, that's settled, but there's still one thing I need your opinions on."

"No, I don't think you should get your penis pierced," Andy said with a sigh, making it sound like we had discussed it at great length. Just as she wanted, Mom and Dad blushed a little and looked at me like I was insane.

"Don't worry, that little bit came entirely from her head," I told them with a smile, blushing a little myself. One doesn't normally discuss one's penis with one's family. "I was talking about a tattoo."

Mom curled her nose up, and I knew I was going to have a fight on my hands bringing her around to the idea. Dad seemed a little surprised, but didn't react negatively. Andy was excited.

"What are you going to get? How big is it going to be? Where are you going to put it?"

I nudged her to get her to stop. "I don't know what I want to get yet. That's what I need your help with. As for how big, not big at all. Not small, not huge. And I don't know where it's going yet either."

"Why on earth would you want a tattoo?" Mom asked.

"Well, I find myself with a bunch of symbols of other people's faith in me, and I wanted one of my own. Jewelry's pretty much out of the question. I've already got a ring from Brian, a watch from Erron, a necklace from Nick, and a necklace from Matt."

"I didn't see the necklace from Matt," Mom said, leaning over to inspect me. I lifted the St. Jude medallion from my chest and held it out for her to look at. "Who's Matt again?"

"He's the guy that Brian, Kevin and I went to visit in Memphis that time. And I went to the wedding in August. He married JC?"

"Oh yes! The young man with cancer. How is he?"

I told them what I knew about Matt, and assured them that he was okay now. I also told them exactly what the medallion was, and how important it was to me, knowing where it had come from and what it had helped Matt through.

"So I've got all of these symbols of other people's faith in me, but I don't have one of my own. Brian suggested a tattoo, but I don't know what to get."

We talked about it for a little while, but no one really came up with anything that I wanted etched on me for the rest of my life. The only thing that came close was Andy's suggestion that I get the four runes from my ring tattooed in a design, and that Brian get the same one. I considered it, but decided against it. I already had the runes on my ring, and if anyone saw Brian and I with identical tattoos, we'd be sunk.

Finally, Dad declared that he was done swimming and Mom agreed, the two of them getting up and heading for the change rooms again. When they got back, Andy and I went and changed as well, then joined them at the table again.

Marie joined us briefly, seeing if there was anything that we needed before she left. She was heading out to play bingo with a group of her friends. They did it every week, and Marie was the only one who never drove. While Mom and Dad had offered her one of their cars on many occasions, she had always refused. I had a theory that she liked the fact that her friends had to drive in and pick her up at her luxurious home. From the look of their cars, I didn't think that they could boast an abode nearly as nice.

"You all caught up?" she asked after we assured her that we would be okay without her.

"I think so," I smiled.

"We were just trying to come up with a design for a tattoo for Nate," Andy told her, giving her a quick rundown of why I wanted one, and what it would represent.

Marie didn't offer any suggestions, but she didn't argue with my getting a tattoo. She merely double-checked that we didn't need anything, then left to get ready for bingo.

She had just left the room again when my phone started to ring. It was still sitting on the table, in front of the chair that Mom had taken. Reaching out, she answered it. I'm sure she had a good idea who it would be.

"Hello? Oh, hello Brian... yes, he and Andrea came over after dinner..."

She didn't offer me the phone, so I turned and talked with Dad and Andy for a little while longer. Brian and Mom talked for a good ten minutes before she finally held the phone out to me.

I smiled and took it from her, then stood up and started to wander around the glassed-in section of the room, looking out on the flower garden outside.

"Hey."

"Hey, sweetie."

I glanced at my watch and did the mental calculation. "What are you still doing up?"

"It's only a little after one, you know," he laughed. "And without you there, there's not much incentive to be in bed early."

I smiled. "That's sweet, but really, why are you still up?"

"I was watching movies with Howie and Nick. And, since I knew you were flying today, I knew that you'd be napping half the afternoon, and would be up late."

"You think you know me so well."

"I do know you so well."

"Yeah, yeah. So how was your day?"

Brian told me about his day, which had been basically as slow as they ever were. They had been in a photo shoot for a little while, then had gone to a couple of meetings and back home again. I returned the favour, telling him about my flight and dinner with Andrea, and our visit with Mom and Dad.

"So you didn't come up with a design yet?"

"Not yet, but we're working on it."

"Can I go with you to get it done?"

"Actually, I'd like to have it done by the time I get there, if I can come up with something I like. It'll be like a surprise for you that way."

"I can't wait to unwrap you."

I rolled my eyes as I laughed. "Don't start with that again. The walls have ears at the moment."

"You'd only be listening. They can't hear me."

"Save it for when I get there, sweetie. It's only a couple of weeks."

"I can't wait."

"Me neither, but we're going to have to. Ask Nick about Erron. His response should keep you occupied for a couple of days."

Brian laughed. "Were we that sickening? Nick's still bouncing off of the walls."

"So was Erron when I left him this morning." Andy was tugging on my shirt-tail, trying to get my attention. When I turned around, she mimed talking to Brian. "Sweetie? Andy wants to talk to you for a few minutes. I'll talk to you tomorrow night?"

"Count on it. Though I'll probably be calling a little earlier than this."

"I'll keep my phone with me."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too. Here's Andy." I handed the phone to Andy, who took over my pacing, and I sat down again with Mom and Dad.

"Marry that boy," Mom smiled.

"I intend to. In fact," Mom and Dad both sat up, waiting to hear what I came up with. "I sort of got started on making that happen before I left Toronto."

"What?"

"Don't get all excited. I still don't know when it's going to be all official and everything, but I got started. I got Brian's ring designed and ordered. It's going to take a few weeks to make and get here, but I'll have it by early next month."

"Then next month." Dad was smiling broadly.

"I'll have Brian's ring. When he'll get it, I don't know yet. When I'm comfortable with the way everything is going, I'll have it to give to him. But I don't know when that will be. We've still got to deal with Andrew and Jackie."

"And you do that when you go to Orlando?"

"Well, that's when we confront Andrew. Kevin's got a plan for that, so I'm not all that worried about it. I'm more worried about Jackie. I don't have a clue what we're going to do there. That's up to Brian to decide, though. I'm not going to push him to deal with her until he's ready. But that's not fun to think about, so let's not."

They both agreed as Andy came back and sat down, handing me back my phone. We spent the next hour talking about me, basically. I was getting tired of that, but luckily there weren't any more people to bring up to speed after Mom and Dad, really.

I told them about Dr. Tomlinson, and about Erron, Jeff, Cindy and Norry coming down to LA to visit, which brought the expected happiness from both of them. Though they didn't know Jeff and Cindy all that well, they liked them. But the real happiness was at hearing of Erron and Norry coming. They loved kids, and luckily Erron and Norry could both qualify.

Andy and I finally decided to head home, since both of us were getting tired, and Mom and Dad were yawning as well. Mom and I took solace in the fact that neither one of us had to go to an office in the morning, which brought rumbles from both Dad and Andy.

As we walked back out through the kitchen, I discovered a plastic container on the counter and a note attached with my name scribbled on the top. I smiled and unfolded it.

'Nate,

These should help with your cookie shortage. Let me know if you

reach such desperate conditions again.

Marie

PS: How about this:'

Underneath that, she had drawn a picture. While it was pretty hastily drawn, the intended image was clear. Even if it hadn't been, she had written an explanation for it below the picture that clarified it and gave her reasoning for suggesting it. I looked up at the others and showed them the picture. I had found my tattoo.

One week after I landed in LA, I was completely settled and challenging Erron for his seat on cloud nine. I would, of course, have been happier if Brian had been there with me, but with only a week between me and my flight to Orlando, not even the fact that he wasn't lying next to me at night was enough to bring me down and wipe the smile off of my face.

Andy and I had fallen back into the ease of living together with what I found to be surprising simplicity. Though so much had obviously changed in our lives, it appeared that some things were as constant as always. Some days, it felt so familiar that I could almost convince myself that the past two and a half years -- my entire life with Brian -- was all a dream.

Almost. The gleaming silver ring on my finger was a constant reminder that he was there, and that we were together, regardless of the physical distance between us. And even if I hadn't had that concrete evidence, the fact that we spoke on the phone at least once a day would have done the trick.

For almost five days straight, I wrote. Andy was at the office all day, and she would wake me up before she left. After I actually rolled myself out of bed and managed to shower and shave, I would sit down in front of the computer and let it take me wherever it wanted to.

Normally, I took two breaks during the day. One was to grab a quick lunch, and the other was to take a walk around the neighbourhood and attempt to maintain my connection with the real world outside of my head.

In that first week, two completely unexpected things happened. In and of itself, the first wasn't very remarkable. But, its importance was in the fact that it was directly responsible for bringing about the second.

It was my third day back, and I was about to go for my daily walk. Normally, I cut through a little park a few blocks away and then made a wide circle before winding up back at the condo again. But Andy had called and asked me to pick up a movie for us to watch after she got home, and she was going to stop and pick up dinner instead of making me cook.

I grabbed my keys off of the rack and put them in my pocket, and headed out the door. The mailman was just coming up the walkway, and I met him with a smile, taking the mail from him. He returned the smile and continued on his way, as I took off across the lawn the other way, smiling at the letter that he had given me.

The handwriting was instantly recognizable. It was Brian's. I got to the sidewalk as I tore the envelope open and slipped out a single piece of paper, wondering what Brian had written, since we spoke so often. I got my answer as I unfolded the paper, then started laughing.

'Open up your eyes now,

Tell me what you see.

It is no surprise now,

What you see is me.'

I read it over several times, then folded the paper again and replaced it in the envelope, which went into my pocket. My mind supplied me with the music to the song, and I started whistling as I sang in my head.

Bypassing the park I normally walked through, I altered my route to take me past the local Blockbuster so that I could get the movie. I passed several people in the street, and each of them gave me a strange look as I passed. I was whistling like a lunatic, but I couldn't seem to stop so I gave up trying.

Pushing open the door of the Blockbuster, I took a quick walk through the CD section, looking for anything that would catch my eye. I spent about five minutes looking through them, but nothing leapt out at me, so I headed for the movies.

I had just picked up 'The Godfather' and was wondering if I wanted to rent it or go for something more recent when I felt someone watching me. I turned my head and caught a man of about thirty looking at me. As soon as our eyes met, he looked away.

Walking over to him, I gave him a smile. "Excuse me, is there something that I can help you with? Do we know each other?"

"No no," he said quickly. "I was just wondering if you were who I thought you were."

My smile grew. "I guess that depends on who you think I am," I told him, offering him my hand. "I'm Nate Healy."

He nodded as he put his hand in mine. "I thought so. I'm Greg Jenkins."

"Nice to meet you." The name was familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"You too. I though it was you, but I thought that you lived in Toronto now, so I figured I must be wrong. You in town for the release of 'A Night in Time's Garden'?"

"I was living in Toronto until last week. I've moved back to LA for a while, though. Are you a fan? You seem to know more about me than most people do. I'm surprised you even recognised me, actually. Most people don't."

"Well, I'm a fan, but that's not why I recognised you. I write a book column for the 'Times'. I'm actually slated to do the review of your book when it comes out."

"Ah, I knew your name rang a bell. I guess, if you're my reviewer, it's a good thing that you liked the first book, eh?"

He smiled and nodded. "I did like it. I'm sure the new one will be just as good."

"Well, let's hope so."

We chatted a little bit about writing for a few minutes, then I excused myself to continue my movie search. I was just about to turn around when he put his hand on my arm to stop me. "Nate? I mean Mr. Healy?"

"Nate's fine," I told him. "Was there something else?"

"Well, I just thought that, if you had the time, you know, if you would mind doing a short interview? It would be good promotion for the book's release, and it wouldn't take long."

It would also give him an opportunity to impress his boss with an exclusive. He'd be announcing my return to LA, of course, but that didn't really matter much. And he had a point about it being an added push on promotion for the book. I decided to do it, knowing that Carrie and Celia would have wanted me to.

"Sure, Mr. Jenkins. When would you like to do it?"

From the look on his face, I knew what he was going to say. "Well, we could do it now, if that's no problem. I could probably get it into tomorrow's paper. But if that's too much--"

"No, that's fine. Though how about this: I'll give you my address -- as long as you promise not to publish it -- and you can come around in about an hour or so. That'll give me some time to finish my walk and get showered and changed. How does that sound?"

"Perfect. I'll run to the office and let them know, and I'll meet you. You sure about wanting me to come to your place?"

"Don't see why not. Like I said, as long as you keep it to yourself. I don't want people showing up unexpected." He handed me a piece of paper and a pen, and I wrote down the address, then handed them both back to him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Andy will kill me if I don't find a good movie."

He smiled and thanked me again, then rushed off to pay for his movie and get ready for the interview. I turned back to the shelves and scanned through the new releases, looking to see if any of them seemed better than 'The Godfather'. After another ten minutes of looking, nothing had, so I paid for the movie rental and headed back to the house.

After another quick shower, I changed into something a little more professional-looking than what I had been wearing, though with my wardrobe, it wasn't much more professional-looking. I turned the stereo on and tidied up a bit, so that everything was looking as nice as possible, then headed into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

I had just flicked the switch to start the coffee maker when there was a knock on the door. Answering it, I smiled and let Greg in.

"Nice place," he commented, walking into the small foyer.

"Thanks. We like it." I urged him further into the room, and led him into the living room. I took a seat in one of the recliners. "Have a seat. There's coffee started. It should be ready in a few minutes."

"Don't go through any trouble on my account." Greg sat down on the couch and placed his notepad and his pen on the coffee table.

"No trouble at all. If you knew how much coffee I drink, you'd be pushing me out of the way just to make sure you got some before it was gone. Luckily, Andy doesn't drink coffee, or I'd have a fight on my hands."

He smiled and relaxed a little, then picked up his pen again. "Shall we get started?"

"Whatever you like," I told him, using the remote to turn the stereo down. "You're running the show."

"Okay then. But, if there's something that you don't want to answer, just say so. I'm not trying to get a tabloid story or anything. Just something to re-introduce you to the reader and get myself a story at the same time."

I had to admire his honesty about his motivation. "If I don't want to talk about something, I won't."

"Good. Well, I guess my first question is what are you doing back in LA? I thought you moved back to Toronto after 'Blue Sky' was published."

"That's true, I did. But, I've been there for a while now, and I sort of missed my family here in LA, so I came back. I kept my apartment in Toronto so that I can go back if I want to, but for right now, I'm happy where I am."

"You mentioned your family. I was under the impression that you didn't have any family. I'm sorry if it's a touchy subject, but aren't your parents deceased?"

"Yes, they are. They died during my final year of high school, in a car accident. And you're right about my not having any biological family. I was an only child." I didn't want to talk about my uncles out west, so I left them out. Part of me hoped that they managed to read my statement, though I knew that that might bring on more trouble if they took offense to it. "But, I've managed to be lucky enough to sort of pick up an adopted family."

"And one member of this family is this Andy person that you live with?"

"That's right."

"I'm not sure how to tactfully word this," Greg said, obviously nervous. "So I guess I'll just ask."

"That's probably best."

"Is this Andy... is he your current partner?"

I surprised him by laughing. "No, Andy is short for Andrea. She's my housemate, and one of my best friends. I think of her as a sister, really, and she and her parents have sort of adopted me into their family."

He smiled through his embarrassment. "Sorry to jump to conclusions."

"No no, it's fine. Andy'll get a laugh out of it too."

"So you're not involved with anyone at the moment?"

"I didn't say that. I said Andy and I weren't together. I'm actually very happily involved."

"May I ask who the lucky man is?"

I smiled at that. It was as good a time as any to put the ball in motion, I supposed. "Actually, you might be familiar with him. His name is Erron, and he lives in Toronto."

"Is this the same man that you were involved with before, when the tabloid story about your supposed relationship with Nick Carter came out?"

"Yes, he's the same one. We broke up for a time, but we're back together."

"That's great. You don't want to give his last name, I assume?"

Knowing that he would be able to find it, I decided to make him work for it if he wanted to include it. "I'd rather not. In fact, I'd prefer if you have to mention it, that you just say that I'm happily involved with someone back in Toronto. No sense in airing all of my laundry for the public."

Greg nodded and scribbled on his notepad. "Okay, since we're sort of on the subject, would you care to talk about what happened on that tour with the Backstreet Boys that started the controversy about you and Nick Carter? You were supposed to be working with them on a tour diary, and then you suddenly disappeared and went back to Toronto."

I was prepared for this one. "Actually, the tour diary was a secondary concern. That was understood from the start of the whole thing. As long as it didn't interfere with my writing this new book, I would be willing to do it. However, as the book progressed, it took up more of my time, and I decided that it wasn't going to be possible to do both. So, I went back to Toronto to devote my full attention to writing. We may still hook up and do something for the next tour, though we haven't really discussed that."

"Then you still talk to the Backstreet Boys?"

"Oh, sure. We're all friends. I don't get to see them as often as I'd like, but we get together every now and then when our schedules allow it."

"Have any of them seen advanced copies of 'Time's Garden'?"

"No, sir. I have a policy that, until it reaches the shelves, the only people who see the book are my editor and my agent. The guys have to wait just like everyone else."

"I assume that they're getting copies?"

I laughed. "They've asked. I don't know if I'm going to be nice and give them some, or make them buy them. It's not like they can't afford to fork out the cash, eh?"

"So what's the new book about?"

"Well, you've got to read it and find out, Greg." I gave him my best smile. "Without giving too much away, I can tell you this: it's about the way our lives can change in a matter of moments, and about how history can repeat itself, no matter how careful we are. Destiny and chance are two sides of the same coin."

"That's pretty cryptic."

"That's why I'm such a mystery," I laughed. "Besides, it might get a few people to buy the book just to see what the hell I'm talking about."

"Fair enough." Greg spent a little while longer asking me about the specifics of the writing process for me. Where my ideas came from, how I actually wrote, and why I had such an aversion to showing my work before it was finished.

I answered as clearly as I could while we drank our coffee. It was a little frustrating for both of us, though. I didn't know exactly where my ideas came from, I wrote by sitting down and writing, and I simply didn't like the idea of other people reading my stuff before I was happy enough with it to send it in to be published. There was nothing really interesting in my process.

When Greg finally had enough to go on, he stood up and shook my hand again. "Thanks a lot for doing this, Nate. I talked to my boss before I came over, and he was really happy about the interview. I hope I didn't cross the line anywhere."

"Did I refuse to answer anything? Then you're safe." I smiled and showed him to the door. "You say this is going to be in tomorrow's paper?"

"Yeah, if I can get it written up fast enough. If not, then it will be two days. But it's definitely going to be there in the next couple of days. Hopefully, we can add to the buzz about the book's release."

"There's a buzz?" I asked stupidly. I had had a few other things on my mind during the last few days to really take much notice of what was going on around me.

"You've got to be kidding me. After the success that 'Blue Sky' had? People are chomping at the bit for this next one."

"Good. Looks like I can pay the bills for a little while longer."

Greg laughed and nodded. "I guess you can, though something tells me that it wouldn't have been a problem either way. Royalties on your first book must be enough to keep your cupboards stocked."

"Off the record?"

"Sure."

"You're right."

Greg shook my hand again with a smile, then walked to his car. I gave him a final wave as he pulled out of the driveway, then closed the door and took his cup into the kitchen to wash it out before settling myself in front of the computer again.

That was the first strange thing that happened that week. I was recognised in a video store and wound up giving an unscheduled interview. An interview which, by the way, made both Celia and Carrie very happy, as I had known it would.

The second thing, a direct result of the first, came two days later, as Andy and I were sitting down to dinner. I had cooked, as was becoming usual, and had just set the salad on the table when the phone rang. I had been having a very productive writing day, and was already planning on getting back to it as soon as dinner was out of the way, but as I looked at the name on the caller display, every thought was immediately wiped from my mind.

To Be Continued...

Thanks for reading!

Next: Chapter 54: The Sun from Both Sides 12


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