Brian and Me

Hey everyone :)

First of all, I apologise that this didn't get posted last week, when it was supposed to. I sent it in to the archive, but it bounced back. The problem was that I was away for several days, so I didn't know that it had bounced until I got back. And that is why it wasn't posted. It was up on my website, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of you went there and found it, but it didn't make it up here until now.

So, this is the one that should have been posted. Keep your eye out next week for the next one, which should be up on time, since I'm not going anywhere, and should catch a bounce reasonably quickly and resend it. :)

So, I'm not going to bother with the whole long tag thing. Just remember that this isn't supposed to say anything about anyone. It's a work of fiction. And you know whether or not you should be reading it, so if you shouldn't be, don't be. :)

Enjoy!

PART 107

I woke up almost underneath Brian. He had managed to practically mount me in his sleep, and I had to wonder what it was that he was dreaming about. He was smiling, but there weren't any other... visible signs of a particularly lustful dream. I closed my eyes again, content to just rest there for a while and enjoy the closeness.

Perhaps fifteen minutes later, I felt him stir against me, and take a deep breath. I had watched him come awake enough times to know that that was what was happening. I merely continued to lay there with my eyes closed, allowing my mental eye to fill in the picture for me, using the information that my other senses provided.

After a few more minutes of stirring, Brian actually woke up. This was heralded by a huge yawn, and what felt like a full-body stretch. His entire body tensed, and I felt his toes brush against mine as they turned and pointed downward for a moment. Then he collapsed again, relaxing on me once more.

I knew that he had opened his eyes when I heard him start to chuckle, and his hand rested on my left shoulder, his arm crossing my chest. His head landed on my right shoulder. He sighed slightly, then I felt him crane his neck to gently kiss my jaw.

"Mmmm... do it again, Kev," I whispered, trying to keep from smiling too broadly.

Brian started to laugh and kissed me again. "How long have you been up?"

"A little while." I opened my eyes, then turned my head as I pulled it back to look down at his perched on my shoulder. "You seemed comfortable, so I didn't want to chance waking you up."

"I was comfortable," he smiled. "I can't think of anything I'd rather sleep on."

"Anything or anyone?"

"Anything. There are lots of other people I'd rather sleep on."

"Pookie, that was such a bad answer!" I laughed and turned on my side, dumping him off of me, then returned to my back as he raised himself up on his elbow.

"I was just kidding, sweetie," he cooed, reaching out and tracing a finger from the centre of my chest all the way down to just above the waistband of my boxers. "If there was someone else under me, you know I wouldn't be sleeping."

I rolled my eyes. "Aren't you just the little charmer this morning?"

"Well, now that I've got you addicted to me, I don't have to worry about being sweet anymore," he grinned. "You're hooked."

"And you're delusional." I rolled over on my side away from him and pulled the covers around me, pretending to be hurt. "That's the last time I put out so easily."

"We'll see about that," Brian whispered, sliding across the mattress and pressing himself against me. He put his head down on my pillow as well and started to gently blow in my ear while his hands tried to find an even more responsive part of me. Despite every mental command I sent, he managed to find one that reacted instantly to his touch. "I thought so," he chuckled.

I scooted over, away from his hands, and tried to cover the smile on my face. Brian reacted by sliding over to take the spot I had just vacated, pressing himself to me again. I moved over a little bit more, and he moved with me. I tried to move again, balancing on the edge of the mattress, and the next thing I knew, I was falling.

Brian laughed at me until he heard the thunk of my head banging off the edge of the bedside table, then he jumped off of the bed, over me, and knelt beside me. "Are you okay?"

"Ugh."

He reached over and helped me sit up, then checked the back of my head, parting the hair to see if I had cut myself. "You don't seem to be bleeding," he announced, poking at the back of my head until I winced. "But you might have given yourself a bump."

I winced as his finger prodded the sore spot again, and backed away from his hand. "I'll live. And I blame you for all of this."

"Me?"

"Yep." I got up and made my way to the closet, pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. "If you hadn't been so mean to me, I would have still been in bed cuddling with you, and I would have been encouraging those hands instead of escaping them."

"Not my fault that you're too sensitive," he smiled, coming over to me and putting his arms around my waist. "Must be your time of the month."

"You just get cuter and cuter today," I laughed, slipping on the shirt as I stepped away from him. I put on the shorts as well and grabbed my computer bag. "You can just sit up here all alone and think about what you've done, mister."

"But I'll be cold."

"Don't forget lonely," I said with a wink as I walked out into the hall, listening to him laugh behind me.

"You'll miss me first!"

I smiled to myself, deciding that we'd just have to see about that. I made a quick stop in the bathroom to brush my teeth and then went downstairs. I took the computer into the kitchen with me, setting it on the island while I got my morning coffee ready. Once the coffee-maker was gurgling quietly, I jumped up on the island as well and turned on the computer.

I was just finished reading through what I had gotten done the day before and started to add to it when the coffee finished, and I looked up quickly, enjoying the aroma. I tried desperately to get to the pot without having to leave my perch on the island, but it was to no avail. Jumping down, I poured my coffee and then returned to my seat, sitting cross-legged in front of the computer, with my mug set beside it.

Two cups of coffee later, I heard the door open and heard Erron's morning grunt as he passed the island. "Morning, sweetie," I smiled, not looking up or slowing down. "How'd you sleep?"

"Very little."

"Visions of Nicky dancing in your head?" Now I did look up, having come to the end of a paragraph. Erron looked like he might have closed his eyes night the night before, but not much had come of it.

"Something like that." He managed a smile, then took down a mug for himself and poured. "We sat up for quite a while after you two went upstairs to have sex... I mean to sleep."

I grinned and rolled my eyes at him.

"You make a lot of noise. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"I think I might have heard that once or twice," I muttered, blushing. "What did you and Nick do after we went upstairs?"

"We talked for a long time. Just chatting, really, and then we went to bed."

"And you slept where?"

"In my own bed. Alone." He stuck his tongue out at me and leaned against the counter as he sipped at his coffee. "I just didn't want to go to sleep in case I had dreamed it all."

My smile grew. That was such a typically cheesy thing to say. The funniest part was that I knew Erron meant it. That was the way his mind worked. "No dream, unless you're still asleep. I clearly recall the two of you sucking face out on the deck, and on your trek for wood, and in front of the fire, and probably the second Brian and I disappeared last night."

"At which point, you were sucking more than face, I bet," Erron returned, enjoying the blush that he had created.

"You know, sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you," I told him. "And then you say stuff like that and I remember. Before you ask for a play by play of what happened in our room last night, what do you want to do today?"

"First of all, sweetie, I believe it would be called a blow by blow, wouldn't it? Second, I'm not sure what I want to do today. It doesn't look nice out there right now."

I nodded. "Yeah, it's going to rain. You can smell it."

"Then it looks like indoor activities for us. And let's try to limit the nature of those activities to those that the four of us can do in the same room, shall we?" He smirked as he sipped some more coffee. "You two don't just hole up in your room all day."

"That shouldn't be too difficult," Brian said, coming into the room. "He's not letting me touch him this morning."

"You two fight?"

"Nope. Brian forgot his manners. Now he's got to woo me back."

"I told you, sweetie. You're going to miss me first."

I stuck my tongue out at the back of his head as he got a mug out of the cupboard. "We'll see."

"Maybe I'll just have to replace you."

"No one else for miles, pookie. Unless you're going to put the moves on Erron or Nick."

"Not me. I'm happy with my situation as it is," Erron laughed.

Brian just smiled and got his coffee, then came to stand beside me at the island. He put his hand on the counter next to my knee, then extended his fingers so that they were brushing against my skin. "Did you need something?" I asked sweetly.

"Nope." The fingers didn't stop, though.

I shrugged and went back to the computer, finishing up the thoughts that I had been working on before Erron appeared. It took me about ten minutes of typing, but Brian's hand didn't move once. When I finally finished, I saved and shut everything down, then swung around and let my legs dangle.

"You done?"

"For now," I said. "I think Carrie's going to like what I've got going. I thought it up while I was chopping wood yesterday. I'll likely go back to it later."

"So, what do you wanna do now?"

I looked around the room and found that Erron had disappeared on me while I was finishing up on the computer. "I don't know. What do you want to do?" Brian's hand stopped brushing my knee and slipped up into the leg of my shorts. I looked down at it and then back at him. "Does this mean that you miss me?"

"Maybe. You miss me?"

"Maybe."

He pinched my leg, then came to stand in front of me, placing his hands on my thighs. "Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Why no, I don't believe you have. I remember you saying that there were other guys you'd like to sleep with, and that you were so desireable that I had to put up with you being mean. Oh, and that I was suffering from PMS. But no, nothing about loving me today."

Brian grinned and leaned in, planting a kiss on my neck. "I love you."

"I know."

He laughed and pulled me off of the island, letting his hands pull my shirt up at the back. When my feet hit the floor, his hands continued upward, removing my shirt entirely. I raised my arms so that he could get it off, then stared into his eyes. "I hardly think that this is the place for this.

Anyone could just walk in."

"With the amount of noise you make? They'd know long before they got into the room."

"What's with you this morning?" I laughed, turning us around so that he was pressed against the counter. "You're in a weird mood."

Brian shrugged, then kissed me. "Just happy, I guess."

"You hungry?"

"Yeah." Another kiss.

"I meant actually hungry. I'm just about starving to death. You want some breakfast?"

Brian looked at his watch. "It's almost too late for breakfast. How about lunch?"

"I don't care, as long as it's food." I gave him a quick kiss and backed away from him, not bothering to put my shirt back on. Going to the fridge, I looked over what was there. I wasn't really in the mood for eggs, and it was going to be breakfast, regardless of the time, so I decided on pancakes.

Gathering what I needed, I started wandering around the kitchen opening cupboards and drawers.

"Need some help?"

"I don't think so, unless you wanted to keep me company."

"Sure." He jumped up onto the island where I had been and turned on my computer. "I'll just play solitaire or something."

"'Kay."

Nick joined us just as I was finishing the pancakes, and we were soon sitting at the table, digging in. Once we had had our fill, I was once more sent to sit down in the living room while they cleaned up. That was one of the perks of being the designated cook. Another was the thank-you kisses that I kept getting from Brian. This morning's had even been maple-flavoured.

I gathered my computer from the kitchen and went to sit in front of the fireplace once more. Putting my feet up on the coffee table, I put my computer in my lap and stared at the hearth as I pressed the power button and waited. With the looks of things outside, it was going to get damp and chilly. The perfect day to have the fire going.

Setting the computer on the cushion beside me, I got up and headed out onto the deck to get some more wood. I didn't want to be having to go out for it in the rain. I also wanted to make sure that the pile was covered well, so that it wouldn't get wet. I made a few trips back and forth from the fireplace to the woodpile before I figured that I was safe from the chances of getting wet later, and then set about making a bed for the fire so that it would be ready to light when we wanted it.

I had just sat back down and picked up the computer again when I felt a pair of lips on the top of my head. With a smile, I tilted my head back and found Nick staring down at me. He was grinning.

"You think I was Brian?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to thank you." Nick came around the couch and sat down on the coffee table next to my feet.

"Thank me? What for?"

"For not telling Erron about me, and for telling me about him, and for convincing me that he was safe, and for pushing him to talk to me last night."

"Oh, that," I smiled, waving it off. "T'weren't nothing."

"You're a good friend, Nate."

"Well, so are you, Nick. And so's Erron. If you guys can have some fun this week, then I'm happy to help get you started. I just want to make sure that you're having fun. But not too much fun."

He grinned and nodded. "Erron told me you were a little worried about that. Don't be. He's been a complete gentleman."

I wasn't so much worried about either of them separately. I knew that Erron wouldn't do anything that he didn't think Nick wanted to do, and I knew that Nick would speak up about anything he wasn't comfortable with.

My worry was that they would both get caught up in a moment and let their inhibitions slip just a little too far. Nick would be experiencing something new and probably pretty overwhelming for him, and it would be easy for him to take an extra step that he might regret later. And Erron was famous for his lack of self-control. He wouldn't purposefully do anything to hurt Nick, but he might not realise it until it was too late.

"I know he is, Nick," I said, smiling at him. He really was excited, and I was happy for him, but I was still going to worry. That's part of what comes with being a good friend, I think. Looking at Nick, I saw that he understood some of this, and accepted it.

Brian and Erron chose that moment to come back into the room, so I shared another smile with Nick, then tilted my head back once more. This time, it was Brian looking down at me, and he leaned over and kissed me, then came around and sat down beside me.

"You working again?" Erron asked, indicating the humming computer on my lap.

"I was thinking about it. For a little while, at least. Why? You got something you want to do?"

"Not really. Nick and I were going to watch 'The Colour Purple'. It's on in a few minutes, and he's never seen it."

"Then you should try not to recite it line for line this time," I laughed. Erron absolutely loved that movie, and had actually worn out a tape by watching it too much. I had seen it enough times to quote from it in places, but I was reasonably sure that Erron could follow along throughout the entire thing. It was funny, but annoying if you were watching it with him.

"You guys wanna watch?" Nick asked, getting up from the table.

"I've seen it a million times," I said. "I'll try to get some work done while you're watching, then we'll come up with something to do afterwards. How's that sound?" They both nodded, then went over to sit on the other couch, waiting for the movie to start. I turned and looked at Brian. "You going to join them?"

"Nope. I've seen it a couple of times, too. I'll sit here with you."

"I'm probably not going to be very good company," I warned him.

"That's okay. I'll go get my book." He jumped to his feet and ran upstairs, returning after a few minutes with the book that he had stolen from my bookshelf. Dropping back onto the couch, he pulled my feet off of the table and swung me around so that I was resting against the arm of the couch, with my legs out in front of me on the cushions. Brian took up a similar position across from me, his legs splayed on either side of mine. "I want to be able to look up and see you," he explained.

I smiled and nodded, then opened my word processor and called up the file I wanted. The ideas were still fresh in my mind, and I had no trouble finding the flow of the story once more. Before long, my fingers were flying across the keyboard, trying unsuccessfully to keep up to the new ideas coming to me.

Brian only interrupted me once. I don't know how long he had been flicking my foot, but when I finally looked up at him, he looked slightly apologetic for dragging me from the story. But his smile bore through that and shone forth. He mouthed the word 'look' and indicated the far side of the room.

Turning my head, I found myself smiling as well. Nick and Erron were sitting in the middle of the other couch, side by side, and Nick had his head on Erron's shoulder as they watched the movie. It was very sweet, and I wished that there were some way that I could get a picture of it without them knowing. Still smiling, I turned back and winked at Brian.

"Sorry for interrupting," he whispered. "Thought you'd like to see."

I waved off the apology and told him not to worry about it. Setting my fingers back down on the keys, I read over the last sentence, then picked it up and ran with it. I was about to introduce the sub-plot that I had thought of the day before. Things had been coming together nicely for it, and I was really looking forward to hearing Carrie's comments on it. The room once more disappeared for me, and I found myself back in the garden.

PART 108

I jerked in my seat as a finger gently carressed the back of my ear. The return to reality was so sudden that I half-expected to see Sarah looking back at me when I raised my head and turned to see who it was. Instead, I found Erron's grin. I managed to suppress the slight scowl that started on my face at the interruption.

"I knew that would get your attention. Never fails."

I blinked a few times, then looked past Erron and saw that the TV was off again. "Movie over already?"

"Has been for half an hour or so," Erron laughed. "But you seemed so into it, I didn't want to break your concentration. When you stopped typing for a few seconds, I decided it was a good chance to get your attention without screwing up anything major."

I nodded, letting go of the frustration at being dragged out of the book, and looked back to the computer long enough to save the file. I also saw that Brian was sound asleep on the other end of the couch, his head resting in the corner of the couch. The rune book was open on his lap.

"I'll let you wake him up," Erron said, then got up himself. "Nick and I are making some popcorn."

"'Kay." I watched as Erron headed into the kitchen, then I lifted the computer from my lap, already wishing that I was back in front of it. Sometimes the real world just seemed to pale in comparison to the one in my head. Wincing a little at the pins and needles that immediately invaded my legs, I set it on the coffee table, then I wiggled my toes until the worst of the irritating sensation was gone and leaned forward to get off the couch.

Kneeling beside Brian, I reached out and shook his shoulder. He moaned and shrugged my hand off, making me smile. Deciding to take a more fun approach to waking him up, I lifted the front of his shirt, displaying my name.

I traced my finger over the black lines that had started to fade slightly. Leaning over, I kissed his navel, flicking my tongue across it. That didn't take long to get a reaction from him. He shifted under me, pressing himself against my mouth, and I knew he was awake before his hand fell to the back of my head.

"Mmm, sweetie, what are you doing?"

"Waking you up," I told him, looking up from his damp stomach.

"Are they done watching the movie?"

"Yeah, Erron just got my attention and told me. He and Nick are in the kitchen making popcorn."

"Making out is more likely," Brian laughed, urging me up onto the couch with him. Lying down, I put my head on his chest. "You get some stuff written for Carrie?"

Thankfully, he couldn't see the longing look that I gave the computer. "A little bit." In truth, I had gotten a lot done, and I knew that if I could just sit back down in front of the keyboard, I would be able to get a lot more done. His hand stopped stroking my hair and came to rest on my back. Rather than talk about something else, we fell into silence.

We were still laying there when Nick came walking out of the kitchen with a huge bowl of popcorn, and Erron followed him carrying a large bottle of Coke and four glasses. "You guys figure out anything to do?"

"Not exactly," Brian said, nudging me to let him sit up. "We were just talking a bit."

"Oh. Well, come on," Nick said, slapping me on the shoulder as he sat on the back of the couch. "Think of something, Nate. You're the idea man."

"I don't know. You guys already watched a movie, so you're not likely in the mood for doing that again, right?" They both nodded. "Well then, I'm fresh out of ideas." That wasn't entirely true. I had lots of ideas in my head, but none of them were about how to spend the afternoon with the guys. I got up off of the couch and walked over to the glass doors facing the deck, deciding to take a few minutes to try and cut my brain off at the pass and redirect it away from the story.

I could feel Brian's eyes follow me, but Nick and Erron didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. I'm sure Erron caught something, but not enough to get him worried. If he were worried, I'd have known about it before I made it across the room.

"Hey Nate?" Erron called over to me a few minutes later.

"Hmm?"

"You feel like kicking some ass at Euchre? Nick seems to think he's god's gift."

I turned around to find Nick and Brian on the couch, and Erron standing in front of the fireplace with a deck of cards. "Yeah, okay," I said finally. "I guess we can teach him a lesson or two."

"Bring it on!" Nick laughed, standing up and heading for the dining room table. Erron followed him, letting him know not only that we were going to murder him at the game, but going into details about what we were going to do to his corpse afterward.

Brian came walking over to me and put his arms around my shoulders. "You okay?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking about the book still.

It was going really well."

"You want to go back to it?" It was clear from the look on his face that he didn't want me to. I couldn't blame him, really, considering how out of it I got. He slipped his hand into mine and pulled me toward the dining room, where Erron was still coming up with things to do to Nick's lifeless body.

"No, That's okay, pook."

"Pook?"

"Too lazy to say both syllables," I smiled.

"Hey!" Nick yelled, seeing us. "No fraternising with the enemy!"

Brian laughed and gave me a kiss on the cheek before releasing my hand and sitting down opposite Nick. I took my seat across from Erron and waited as he searched through the deck, getting rid of the unneccessary cards.

"We want the five of hearts and the five of spades for counters," Nick announced, snatching them from the pile Erron was creating.

"No way! Nate and I always get those two."

"Too bad, so sad," Nick laughed, dropping them down the front of his shirt.

"Don't think I won't come in there after them, Nick."

"You're not coming in anything of mine, thank you."

For once, Erron was shocked. "Nate! Tell him that we always get the fives of spades and hearts."

I hadn't really been following what their argument was about, just letting their words flow in one ear and out the other while my mind went off on it's own. "Eh?"

"Nick's got our counters down his shirt!"

I looked at Nick, who was waiting to see what I was going to come up with. "Oh. Well, let him have them."

"What?"

"What's the big deal if Nick and Brian have our counters?"

Nick gave Erron a smug look and took the cards back out of his shirt, setting them on the table between he and I, away from Erron.

"What's gotten into you?" Erron asked. "You still stuck in your book? We always have those fives."

That's exactly where I was, and I couldn't seem to get out and lock the door behind me again. "Apparently not," I said, looking back at him. I felt Brian's hand land on my knee, and sighed. "Work it out yourself, Erron. Trade him a kiss for the cards or something. But do you really think we need those counters to win?"

Erron frowned at me. "No, we don't need them. We'll still kick their ass, but I want to know what's going on with you. You're way off."

"It's nothing, Erron. You're thinking too much."

"Bet it's the first time you've been accused of that," Nick laughed, breaking the tension and sending Erron hurtling across the table to get the counters. Nick grabbed them just in time and returned them to his shirt.

"Look, why don't you deal, Erron. If you're as good as you say you are, it won't matter if you have those two cards or not. Let's just get this show on the road," Brian said, leaning back in his chair. "I wanna see what you got."

"Prepare for an ass-whuppin'," Erron bragged as he gave up and started to deal.

There was an ass-whuppin' going on, but Nick and Brian were doing the whuppin'. They beat us the first two games, and we managed to squeak through and win the third, due to Erron dealing himself a lone hand for four points. It was a skill that he had acquired before I met him, and he refrained from using it unless he was really losing. The fourth game we didn't even manage to score a single point.

"Nate! What are you doing?" Erron asked for the millionth time. I had just trumped his ace again. "We haven't been beaten this bad in the history of card-playing."

"First time for everything," I muttered, leading the next card. Brian quickly threw his last card on it, guaranteeing them the win.

"I can't believe this," Erron said, shocked. In all the times we had been partners, we had never lost at Euchre. Of course, there was a good reason for that. "You haven't managed to catch a single signal I've given you all afternoon!"

Erron and I had long-established signals to let the other know what we wanted them to do in any given situation. Subtle unless you knew what they were, we had never been caught.

"You've been signalling?" Nick said, sitting up. During the four games, he had started to pay more attention to my mood as well, and he knew something was up, but the realisation that Erron and I had been trying to cheat broke through that.

"Um..."

"Cheaters!"

"He didn't catch the signals," Erron laughed. "So it's not technically cheating."

"What about that lone hand you dealt to yourself?"

Before Erron could answer, I stood up from the table, excusing myself to get a drink of water. Erron was stumbling through an explanation of the cosmic forces that must have combined to give him the perfect cards as I let the door to the kitchen close behind me.

I got my drink of water and leaned against the counter, running the cool edge of the glass over my forehead and trying to pull my concentration back together. During the game, I hadn't been able to keep my mind from wandering in about a million different directions, all of which were story-related.

"Nate?"

I jerked and looked up to find Brian standing in the doorway. When he saw my face, his brow furrowed and he came over to me and put his arms around me. "You look lost, sweetie. What's going on? Is it something to do with the book?"

"Yeah, it is," I told him, backing up again and leaning against the counter.

"You're blocked, aren't you?"

I shook my head. "Just the opposite. My mind's completely overrun with stuff, and I'm having a hard time setting it aside. There's just so much there all of a sudden. It's hard to concentrate."

"So I noticed," he smiled, hugging himself to me again. "Erron was about to have a stroke out there. Nick will never let him live the losses down."

I laughed and hugged him back. "He's going to blame me, you know."

"As he should. It's your fault for not helping him cheat." Brian turned his face up slightly and kissed my jaw. "So, you want to go back and get more writing done? We'll be okay, you know."

"I know, but we're supposed to be hanging out with Nick and Erron today. Erron would kick my ass."

"No one's getting near that ass," Brian laughed, dropping his hands lower on my body.

"No one?"

He started to nibble on my ear lobe as he laughed. "I don't count."

"That's what I always say." I grabbed him, lifting him up and sitting him on the island.

"Bitch."

I growled and pushed him back, climbing up onto the island with him. It appeared that we had managed to find something that could take my mind off of the story. Judging from Brian's reaction as I lay down on top of him, he was as happy about it as I was. As I buried my face in his neck, I felt his hands slide into my shorts.

"Hey, guys... HEY!"

We both ignored Nick. Brian raised himself up enough for me to pull his shirt off of him and toss it on the floor. At that point, Nick decided to make his exit again. We could hear him chuckling as the door closed.

"Thanks," I said softly, sitting up ten minutes later.

"My pleasure." Brian grinned up at me, then reached up to brush my hair back. "Well, it wasn't as pleasurable as it could have been, but it was still pretty good."

"I still say it's a good rule that our pants stay on in the kitchen. Food's prepared in here, you know."

He laughed and nodded, still not sitting up. "Okay. Next time I'll just have to seduce you somewhere else."

"It's a date." I put my hand on his stomach, leaning over to give him a kiss. "And I meant it when I said thank you. I think that might just have been the only thing that could have gotten me to focus my mind on something else."

"We aim to please. You feeling better?"

I nodded immediately. "It's all still there, like it always is, but it's sort of on a low boil now. I should be able to get back into it pretty quickly when I start up again, but now I want to spend some time with my friends."

"Friends, huh?"

"Yeah, friends. You can come along, if you want."

"Well, with an invitation like that," he laughed, sitting up finally. "How can I resist?"

"You can't." I laughed and jumped down off the island, then pulled him down and put my arms around him. "I'm irresistable. Didn't you notice?"

"Yeah, yeah. Isn't it that kind of talk that got me in trouble this morning?"

"Sure, but it's true when I say it."

He punched my lightly in the stomach, then took my hand. "What did you do with my shirt?"

"Leave it." I pulled him after me to the doorway and out into the living room again.

"You guys finished already?" Nick grinned, sitting up on the couch. He had been leaning on Erron's shoulder again, and I got the distinct impression that we had interrupted something. "That didn't take long."

"Nothing happened," Brian laughed as we sat down with them.

"Nothing that wasn't happening out here too, by the look of it," I added, enjoying the bashful look on Nick's face before he turned it away from us.

"At least we both still have all of our clothes on," Erron pointed out, indicating Brian's now-bare upper body. "Seems like everytime you two spend a few minutes alone together, you come back a little more naked."

We laughed, and Brian leaned over to whisper in my ear. "If that's the case, I think we should go back into the kitchen for, say, twenty more minutes."

I smiled and put my hand on his thigh, a silent promise that he would get his wish later. "So did you two manage to come up with something else for us to do, or are we just going to sit here all day?"

"Well, you're feeling better," Erron smiled at me. "Too bad you couldn't pull it together in time to save our asses in there." He nodded toward the dining room, where the cards were still sitting from our disastrous showing at Euchre.

"Sorry, sweetie. Too much going on in my head, I guess."

"The book?"

I nodded. "At this point in the story, there's a lot of different stuff to keep track of and try to bring together. I've got stuff going on about six different points in the timeline, just to make sure that it all works. Kinda hard to clear my head."

"You wanna go back to it for a while?"

"No, no. I've got all week. Besides, Brian gave me something else to think about. Wouldn't want all of his hard work to go to waste, would we?"

Brian assured me that it wasn't work at the same time that Erron assured me that he was sure it was hard indeed. I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at him. "So any other games you boys wanted to play?"

"How about Spin the Bottle?" Erron suggested with a grin, putting his arm around Nick's shoulders.

"No way!" Brian shook his head. "There's no way. I'd wind up having to kiss Nick with my luck, and there's no way that's happening."

"It's not that bad," Erron and I said at the same time. Erron gave me a surprised look, then looked at Nick, who was blushing again.

"Long story," I told him with a smile. "Not something that was planned or anything, just happened."

"So Spin the Bottle is definitely out, then," Erron decided, still looking like he wanted to know the story. I decided to let Nick tell him if he decided that he wanted to. If Nick was wanting to let it go, I was glad to oblige.

"Oh, I don't know." All three of them looked at me like I was crazy. "Well, I am the only one of us who's kissed everyone else in the room. What do I have to lose?"

"A boyfriend, if I catch you kissing another man," Brian laughed, putting his arm around me.

"Spin the Bottle's out." I sighed as I tipped myself over, putting my head on Brian's lap.

"Truth or Dare?"

I looked at the grin on Nick's face. "Since when are you a thirteen year old girl?"

"There's Monopoly in the cupboard under the TV," Brian told us, getting Erron laughing.

"That's perfect! Nate sucks at Monopoly!"

Nick smirked at me. "I didn't think that there was anything that you couldn't do."

"There's lots of things," I assured him. "I just avoid them to keep up my perfect image."

"It's settled. Monopoly it is." Erron got up and went for the game, while Brian and I headed into the dining room to clean off the table. Nick turned the TV on, putting it on MuchMusic so that we would have something to listen to while we played.

"You really suck at this?" Brian asked, gathering the cards together and putting them back in the box.

I nodded. "I can't make money in that game to save my life. Erron seems to enjoy it, though. I think he just likes being richer than me for a change."

Brian smiled and tossed the cards onto the ledge of the china cabinet, then sat down and patted the chair beside him. "Don't worry, sweetie. I'll help you out."

I sat with him as Nick and Erron joined us, both of them laughing at some shared joke. Erron set up the game as Nick got us all something to drink. Both of them seemed excited at the prospect of getting me out of the game as quickly as possible.

It took them just over an hour to achieve their goal. The only reason it took that long was the fact that I was sleeping with a mogul. Brian owned half of the board, and I managed to strike a deal with him. For free room and board, I was willing to provide certain favours to be received at a later date.

Unfortunately, not even his influence could get me off the hook. Nick and Erron seemed to amalgamate half-way through the game, creating McAfferty/Carter Property Inc. as they called it, and they absolutely refused to cut me any slack. There were only so many times I could avoid landing on their properties, and eventually they had me completely wiped out.

My final act as a token-using member of the game was to sell Brian everything I owned - which amounted to one railroad, Baltic Avenue and a 'get out of jail free' card - for a dollar, and then donating the dollar to the bank.

I sat beside Brian, acting as his personal accountant and making up names for all of his hotels, for another couple of hours, until he finally managed to get them back for me. Erron landed his token on Boardwalk, where he would be staying in the beautiful 4-star Littrell Arms Hotel. He didn't have a hope in hell of paying the rent.

He looked to Nick for help, but Nick wasn't doing so well, either. He was mortgaged almost to the hilt, and looked like he could use a pass by GO pretty badly.

"You mess with my boy, you mess with me," Brian laughed, taking Erron's money and property in payment. It wasn't nearly enough to cover what he owed. Brian reached out and plucked Erron's token off of the board, dropping the little man on horseback - Erron and I insisted that it was a Mountie - into the box with a grin.

I gave Erron a smug look, then kissed Brian on the cheek. "My hero."

"Shouldn't you be making dinner?" Nick asked sourly. He knew that he was finished, and he didn't look happy about it.

"What sort of consolation meal would you like, Nicky?"

"Hey, you're the biggest loser here," he laughed. "You were knocked out first."

"Doesn't matter how poor I am, as long as my boyfriend's loaded," I said, sticking my tongue out at him. "Now, what do you want for dinner?"

"Spaghetti," Erron said, pouting in his chair.

I looked around the room for their approval. Finding no objections to spaghetti, I got up and headed into the kitchen, grabbing Erron's arm on the way.

Nick was hesitantly rolling the dice when we left the room, and from the whoop that came from him, I assumed that he had managed to land on one of the few properties that he still owned. I sent Erron to the fridge to get the stuff for the sauce while I grabbed a couple of pots and the pasta from the cupboard.

I had the sauce simmering away and the pasta boiling when we heard Nick's cry of anguish from the dining room. I looked at Erron and smiled. "Teach you two to gang up on me."

Erron laughed and pushed me. "Pansy-boy needs his boyfriend to stick up for him."

I pushed him back. "This pansy-boy can kick your fruitcake ass anyday."

Laughing, Erron leapt at me and put me in a headlock. "Watch who you're calling a fruitcake, bitch."

I knocked his feet out from under him, and we both fell to the floor, still locked together. Erron started to noogie me as we rolled back and forth, each trying to gain the upper hand. Finally managing to get my head out of his grip, I flipped him over and got on his back, twisting his arm around behind him.

"You ready to give it up?"

"You're a bit too late for that," he laughed. "Don't involve me in your kinky games, either! Get off me!"

"You want me to get off?" I asked with a grin.

"That's Brian's job, not mine."

"You're right, it is," Brian said from behind us. I could hear Nick laughing with him. "What the hell are you guys doing in here?"

"Well, I was helping with dinner, and then Nate decided that you weren't man enough for him, so he tried to take advantage of me. He got violent when I refused him."

I looked back at Brian and rolled my eyes, then pulled Erron's arm a little harder, making him shut up. "Erron decided to try and be a big man. I had to show him who was boss." I got up and stood back as Erron got to his feet, scowling at me and trying not to smile.

Remembering dinner, I headed to the stove and gave everything a stir. It was pretty close to being ready. "So, Nick, who won?"

He groaned and opened a cupboard, taking down some plates for us. "Like you don't know. I was wiped out while spending the night in the luxurious penthouse suite of the Nathaniel James Healy International Hotel."

"At least you went out in style."

Brian laughed and came up behind me, putting his head on my shoulder. "Looks good."

"Looks can be deceiving."

"Not yours."

"Sweet-talker."

Erron and Nick made gagging noises and left us alone after getting some silverware and glasses.

"Do you have any idea how many favours you owe me now? I own you, mister."

I smiled and nudged him with my elbow. "You're really going to hold me to them?"

"Do I have to?"

"Nope. I'm yours anyway."

"All of you?" Brian slid his hands into the front pockets of my shorts. "Every inch of you?"

"Every fibre of my being, pookie. But it's going to be hard to put this all together with you attached to me like this."

"Is that complaining that I hear, Mr. Healy?" I felt his lips close gently on the back of my shoulder, his breath moving across my back.

"Nope. Just a comment."

"Well here's another comment," Erron laughed from behind us. "I'm starving. How about you get your hands out of his pants long enough for him to get dinner on the table?"

"Why'd we bring him?" Brian asked me, slipping his hands back out of my pockets and stepping away from me so that I could move again.

"Because Nate thought he might get tired of seeing your ugly mug on the pillow beside him, and he wanted someone pretty to seduce," Erron said, coming over to us and picking up the bowl for the sauce.

"No," I corrected him with a smile. "That's why Nick's here. You're here strictly for comic relief."

Brian punched us both and headed for the dining room as we laughed, telling us that we could have each other.

After dinner, Erron and I showed Brian and Nick the finer points of the game of crokanole. They both sucked at it, and Erron and I beat them resoundingly every time. Once they had had enough, complaining about sore fingers, we let them off the hook, forcing them to declare us the crokanole champions of the universe.

It was still pouring outside, so we settled for hanging out in front of the TV instead, watching a few sitcoms, then popping in a movie once there was nothing worth watching.

Brian and I spent most of the movie paying attention to each other, and from the look of things when it was finally over, Nick and Erron hadn't really seen much of it either. I lay there, watching the credits roll, with Brian's chest pressed against mine. His head was resting beside and on top of mine while his hand worked it's way into the back of my shorts.

"We should have gotten some wood before it started raining," he whispered in my ear, though it was loud enough for Nick and Erron to hear. They both started to nod.

"I got some while you were cleaning up the breakfast stuff. There's some in the woodbox, and more just outside the door on the deck, with a tarp pulled over it."

"Mmm... good." Brian pulled me off the couch and over in front of the fireplace. He made me sit down in front of it while he struck the match and got the fire going, then he stretched out and made me lay down with my head on his stomach, so that we were in a 'T' shape on the floor in front of the fire.

Nick and Erron disappeared into the kitchen, saying that they would clean things up in there and join us in a while. We all knew that they were giving us some time together, as well as stealing a few minutes for themselves.

"They're hitting it off." Brian's hand descended on my forehead and started to run through my hair. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the sensation.

"Yeah, looks that way."

"Do you think..."

"I don't know, sweetie." I opened my eyes again and turned my head to look at him. "They look like they're getting closer, but I don't think Nick's going to have changed his mind about a relationship in two days. I just hope they don't get carried away."

"Nick won't."

"Neither will Erron, unless he thinks that's what Nick wants."

"Then nothing will happen, right?"

I shrugged. "Remember that time in Kentucky, just before we flew out? You and I had decided to wait to be together, and we were in the bedroom of the hotel room..."

"I remember," he laughed. "Kevin came in and interrupted us."

"Yeah. Were you ready for what we were heading toward?"

He took a moment to think about it, and then he shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I'm sure it would have been nice, but I don't think I would have been ready for it."

"Neither was I. But can you honestly tell me that it wouldn't have happened if Kevin hadn't shown up when he did?"

"No. As a matter of fact, I'd say it would almost certainly have happened.

I can remember what I was feeling, and unless you put a stop to it, I think we would have made love right there."

"Then we would have, because there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to stop it. I wanted you."

"Trust me, sweetie, the feeling was mutual."

I laughed. "I know. I could feel it. But if you think about it, what's to stop that from happening here this week with those two?"

"I may not have been ready for sex, but I loved you. I don't think either one of them would be able to say that they loved each other. They haven't known each other that long."

"Yeah, but they could get carried away just as easily, right? It doesn't take much. And the only thing keeping Erron from jumping Nick is the fact that he knows Nick hasn't ever been in this situation before, and he's sensitive to that. With you and me, neither one of us had ever slept with someone. Erron has. That's one less block for him."

"Are you saying that Erron might not be able to hold back? Did something happen when you were dating?"

I shook my head and took his hand. "No, nothing happened. Erron knew that I wasn't ready for anything like that, and he never ever pushed. He made it clear that he was willing when and if I was, but it wasn't made a big deal at all. He was really good about it, actually. He answered a lot of my questions, and we talked a lot. But nothing ever happened."

"Then why..."

"I don't know. Just worrying too much, I guess. I just don't want anything happening that Nick feels sorry for later. I'd feel bad for putting them together in the first place, Nick would feel bad, and Erron would feel terrible about it. I don't want that happening."

"It won't. Nick's got to be on his guard, and he won't let things get out of hand. Like you said before, we're both here if either one of them needs to talk about anything."

"I know you're right. Just being too mothering, I guess."

"It's sweet, and I'm sure Nick appreciates it." We were quiet for a few more minutes, listening to the fire crackle and the rattle of dishes being done in the kitchen. "Sweetie?"

I looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

"You sorry you didn't have today to work on the book? I mean, you said things were going so well. Do you think it'll suffer because you didn't write it down right away?"

"I don't think so. And no, I'm not sorry that I wasn't writing today. I'll have to get some done tomorrow, but I'm glad that I had today to play."

"Me too. I miss you when you space out like that."

"I miss you, too."

"Liar. You're having a blast, making people up and playing with them."

I grinned. "Okay, that's true. But, if I were thinking clearly, I would miss you."

He smiled and patted my head. "It's okay."

I spun on the carpet and crawled my way up his body, putting my head down on his chest and watching the flames in front of us, feeling their hypnotic effect as my eyelids began to feel heavy. "I love you, you know."

"I know."

I fell asleep listening to the beating of his heart, feeling the movement of his gentle hands combining with the warmth of the fire on my back.

PART 109

I came awake to almost total darkness. The only light in the room was coming from the faint glow of the last few coals in the hearth. Sitting up, I noticed that there was a blanket over me and the sleeping form beside me. I pulled it off and stood up, covering Brian again.

The fire screen was pulled across the fireplace to keep any wayward sparks from getting out, and the coals were almost dead. I stumbled my way past the end of the couch, then stopped as I heard a snore come from it. Squinting in the dark and trying to focus, I was surprised to find Erron and Nick on the couch.

They were on their sides, with Erron curled up behind Nick, basically spooning him. Erron had his arm thrown over Nick's body, holding him close.

Judging from the little smile on Nick's face, he didn't mind a bit.

I watched them for a few more minutes, thinking back to the conversation that Brian and I had had shortly before I had fallen asleep. But it looked innocent enough. Neither of them were missing any articles of clothing, and with Brian and I lying right there in front of them, it was a pretty safe bet that nothing had happened. I kicked myself in the ass for being so protective and headed into the kitchen for a glass of water.

Looking at the clock on the microwave, I saw that it was two in the morning and sighed, knowing that I was too awake already to go back to sleep. "Well," I said to the dark, empty room. "I may as well get some use out of the time." Finishing off my water, I walked back out into the living room and grabbed my computer off of the reading table that I had placed it on the afternoon before.

Not wanting to risk waking the others up, I took it upstairs to the bedroom and sat down at the head of the bed, placing the computer in front of me as I turned it on. While I waited for it to load, I dug in the bottom of my computer bag for the celtic CD that I kept in there to listen to when I felt the need for music and couldn't have it blaring on a stereo or something.

Normally, there was enough noise around me that I didn't really need the music. Noise was really all I needed to concentrate. I had never ever been able to focus while in a silent room, and the room I was in was definitely silent. The house didn't even seem to have any creaks like most places did, and the rain and wind had died down in the night so it was quiet outside as well.

I inserted the CD and plugged my headphones into the jack, then opened my word processor and called up the file that I had been working on before.

Five hours later, I looked up from the computer and rubbed my eyes. I noticed the music for the first time since the CD had started playing, and removed the headphones for a moment. The CD must have repeated at least six times, but I couldn't really remember hearing any of the songs.

I gave the screen a confused and frustrated glance and sat back against the pillows. I had gotten a lot written, and there was more in my head, but I had hit a crossroads. There was a part of the story that I had been thinking about lately, but I wasn't sure if I should include it or not. I had finally hit the point in the story where I had to make that decision, and I found myself no more able to do it than I had been since the idea had first occurred to me.

I stared at the screen for a few more moments, and then finally gave in. I didn't really want to interrupt Carrie while she was spending time with Kevin, but I really needed her input on this. Aside from Celia, she was the only one who really knew the story well enough for me to ask, and it was her job to advise me on stuff like that.

I grabbed my cell phone off of the bedside table and hit the button for Carrie's cell. It had already started ringing when I realised that it was only seven in the morning.

"Too late now," I whispered, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" an understandably groggy voice answered.

"Sorry for it being so early."

"Nate? What are you doing conscious?"

I laughed. "I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Decided to get some work done instead, while everyone was still sleeping."

"Well, that's great, but did you really have to call me and let me know?"

"That's not what I was calling about. I need your advice on something for the story."

"Can't it wait?"

"Yeah, it can. I was already waiting for you to answer when I realised what time it was. I figured that the only thing more annoying than you hearing my voice this early was you answering and hearing only the dial tone."

Carrie laughed, and I knew that she was starting to rejoin the land of the living. "Okay. What was it that you needed my help with?"

"Well, I've got quite a bit written, and there's something that I needed you to help me decide on. Basically, there's a direction for the story that I'm thinking of taking, but I don't know if it'll fit in properly. I might decide to just not bother with it. But I want your input before I go ahead with any more."

"Sure. What's the problem?"

I outlined what I was thinking about doing with the story, and why I needed her help with it. In the end, we decided that it would be easier if I emailed her the new pages that I had, and then let her get back to me with her thoughts, and we'd talk it through then. She informed me that she was off the entire day, but that she'd give it a look anyway.

"Thanks, Carrie. Sorry for taking time away from you and Kev."

"Don't worry about it. We're having a blast. You just get the stuff to me, and I'll look it over. I like your idea, but I want to see where it will fit in before I decide if I think it should be in the book."

"That's what I was thinking. I might wind up saving it and putting it in the next one or something. But yeah, I'll email those pages as soon as I get off the phone, and you can take a look. No big rush on getting back to me, though sooner rather than later would be nice. There's more in my head to come out, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. You know how I hate backtracking and working stuff in."

"I know, you bitch about it enough," she laughed. "You send it, and I'll take a look."

"Sounds like a plan. You go back to sleep for a while, and it'll be there when you get up."

"Sure thing."

"Thanks, Carrie, and say hi to Kev for me."

"I will. He's been wondering when we'd hear from you guys. How's the cabin?"

"Excellent. Brian and I fell asleep in front of the fireplace last night."

"Sounds romantic. Maybe we should have come with you guys. My apartment isn't the most romantic place on the planet."

"I somehow doubt that Kevin's complaining. I'll tell Brian to give him a call later today or something. Maybe when you call to talk about the book. That way we're not ignoring them."

Carrie chuckled and agreed, and we said our goodbyes. Hanging up, I turned back to the computer and got online for a moment to send the pages to Carrie's account, then shut everything down and closed the computer.

I rubbed at my eyes again and chastised myself once more for writing in the dark. I loved to do it, but it was hell on the eyes. Yawning, I moved the computer to the bedside table and lay down for a moment, telling myself that I would get up in a couple of minutes and go back downstairs with Brian.

I woke up again as he climbed onto the bed with me. Lifting my head, I blinked a few times to bring him into focus and smiled. "Hey, pookie. I was going to come back down, but I didn't quite make it."

"So I noticed," he smiled back, resting beside me and putting his head on my shoulder. "What are you doing up here? Get tired of the floor?"

"Not exactly. I woke up and didn't feel tired enough to go back to sleep, so I came up here to get some work done while you guys slept."

"You've already been writing?"

I nodded and curled up against him, pulling the blanket that sat across the bottom of the bed up with my toes to the point that I could grab it and spread it over us. "I got some written, but I hit a point where I needed some advice, so I called Carrie."

"You called Carrie? It's only eight in the morning."

I had been asleep for less than an hour, then. "It was only seven when I called her," I laughed. "She didn't sound all that impressed. I forgot about the time until I had already dialed. But she came around. I emailed the pages to her, and she's going to check them out and get back to me with her thoughts."

"So you're mine until then?"

"All yours."

"What about Kevin?"

"I'm not his at all," I laughed, earning a punch in the side from him.

"I meant, how's that going?"

"Good, by the sound of it. Carrie didn't really say much about it, except that they were having fun, and that she wished that her apartment was as romantic as this cabin sounds."

"Speaking of which, did you see those two on the couch when you came up?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I saw them. Erron was curled right up to Nick when I got up. Seemed very cozy."

"They're still like that. I wonder if we're that cute when we're alseep."

"You are."

"Aww." He yawned and put his head back down, nuzzling into my shoulder with a sigh.

"You get some sleep," I told him. "You look like you need it."

"So do you. How long were you up this morning?"

"Oh, just a little while," I lied, not wanting him harping on me to sleep as well. "I'm fine. You're the one that can barely keep his eyes open."

Brian smiled and closed his eyes, apparently not feeling energetic enough to argue with me. "You're going to be here when I wake up this time, right?"

"Right here."

"Good."

I held Brian as his breathing evened out and he fell back into a deep sleep. Occasionally, he would twitch in his sleep, reacting to whatever it was that he was dreaming about, I suppose. At one point, he moaned and turned away from me slightly, falling onto his back. I turned on my side and watched him, resting on my elbow with my head supported on my hand.

A few moments later, the light in the room changed, the early morning sun having gone behind a small cloud. The shadow that crossed Brian's face took my breath away. For a brief moment, I would have sworn that the expression on his face had changed. Instantly, he went from the calm, slightly smiling face I had been enjoying looking at to the shaken, uncertain look that I had only ever seen there once.

I was transported back to Matt's dining room, and the face Brian had made when he had realised that we had been caught. That Ms. Neale not only knew about us, but had the proof as well. I knew that it was only a trick of the light in the room, but for someone who spent so much time playing with his imagination, it quickly became very real for me.

The experience was over almost as soon as I recognised it, but it was enough to shatter my peaceful morning. Instead of the angelic face in front of me, all I could see was the horror that had been in his eyes when we had been confronted with the prospect of being exposed to the public.

The light soon changed once more, leaving the room bathed in bright morning sunlight, but the damage had been done. Now the light was, for me, strictly metaphorical. Before the shadows had descended on the room, all had been well. Bright and enjoyable, representing everything that Brian had. His career, his friends, his family, and everything else that he held dear.

Then the cloud had passed through - something that my mind insisted on equating with myself - and everything had been changed. Some changes were subtle, such as the changes in depth and shade of the shadows in the room. Others, like the expression I had seemed to see on Brian's face, were much more pronounced in my mind.

I had done that to him. Or for him, depending on how one wanted to look at it, I suppose. My coming into his life had caused many changes for him. Some were subtle and minor. Others were huge and potentially dangerous. Our involvement influenced everything in his life, whether it was directly related to the two of us or not, just as the change in light had affected the entire room, and not just the two of us on the bed.

My presence had certainly changed the way he was able to relate to the rest of the guys in the group. He and Kevin had gotten much closer as a result of Brian's coming out, which he attributed to my influence even before we had gotten together. He and Nick were closer as well, and our relationship had undoubtedly helped Nick deal with his own feelings. I wasn't sure how things had changed with AJ, although the changes in Brian's life had certainly opened up new avenues of comedy for AJ, giving him access to a vast array of new jokes and pranks once we knew that he really was just kidding and that he accepted us as a couple.

Of course, the way Howie and Brian got along had been changed the most. With Howie's initial reaction to Brian's coming out, and then again when it looked like Brian and I would become more than friends, the relationship had been strained to say the least. Nick had even told me that it was one of the things that had led the group to seriously consider breaking up in the year between my meeting them and my getting together with Brian. Since Howie had gotten over most of his reservations, the rift had been almost totally repaired, though there was still a little tension there. Brian was hesitant to open himself up with Howie again, having felt so betrayed before.

There was no doubt that my involvement in his life had caused problems among his family as well. That much was clear from the fact that Brian wouldn't even talk about his mother, with me or anyone else. He had talked with his father just the once since we had left Kentucky, but never to or about his mother. I knew through Harold that Brian's brother knew about us and seemed accepting. Brian was optimistic, telling me over and over that Harold III couldn't help but love me. I couldn't help but think that Jackie hadn't had much trouble not liking me at all. As far as we knew, no one else in his family knew about us, though Kevin's mother might.

Outside of family and friends, there was the business question to look at as well. I was already out. Anyone who cared to know knew that I was gay. Judging from sales, it didn't seem to matter to many people. But the same wouldn't be true if Brian was to come out or be outed to the public. Given the make-up of their fan base, it could very well be disastrous for the Backstreet Boys. They would almost certainly gain more support among the gay community, but I didn't think it would come close to filling the potential gap to be left by the straight girls who might not take the news well.

I worried quite a bit about the possiblity that my very presence might place pressure on Brian to come out. JC and I had talked about that when we had all spent the night at the Peabody in Memphis. The last thing I wanted was for him to risk such a huge part of his life - not to mention his livelihood - just to prove something to me that I didn't need proven.

With a sigh, I put my head back down on the pillow and drew the blankets around us tighter. I put my head down on Brian's shoulder and placed my hand in the centre of his chest, watching it for a few moments as it rose and fell with his breathing. My mind absolutely refused to steer clear of the fact that the room had been once again bathed in sunlight once the cloud had passed on.

"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered, closing my eyes and trying to escape my thoughts by retreating into sleep.

To Be Continued...

Thanks for reading! :)

~D~