Alright everyone, here goes. This story is a complete work of fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about anyone. While some of the characters may be loosely based on real people that I know, none are meant to actually represent anyone, particularly any of the members of the Backstreet Boys. We may wish that they were gay, and maybe some of them even are, but I'm certainly not about to say that they are. :) If any of them happen to be reading this (hey, we can dream can't we?), feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think.
As usual, if you are offended or made uncomfortable by material concerning sexual relations between consenting adult men, lighten up or go somewhere else. Also, if it is in any way illegal for you to be reading this type of thing, please don't. Or do, just don't get caught.
This is my first time writing a story like this, and it's also my first time letting other people read anything that I've written, so I'd really appreciate any comments (good or bad) that any of you may have. If they're bad, please support your opinions so that I can improve. Drop me a line at DLS_stories@hotmail.com
Enjoy!
Brian & Nate by DLS
"Shouldn't you be a bit more excited, or nervous, or something?" Andrea asked, watching me play with my hair at the mirror, trying to get it just right.
Andrea knew how important this evening was for me. I was finally going to get a chance to meet the Backstreet Boys! A local magazine had held an essay contest on the subject "What the Backstreet Boys mean to me" as part of the promotion for a series of concerts that the group was going to be doing in L.A. First prize had been two tickets to a concert, along with backstage passes, and I had won. While I was certainly excited, and more than a little nervous, I was trying very hard not to freak out about it.
"Cut me some slack, will ya? I do have some dignity. I'm not some screaming fourteen year old girl you know," I said, giving her a playful slap in the shoulder and grabbing my watch off of my bedside table.
"I know, I know. You're prettier," She laughed, pinching my cheek with a grin.
"Funny lady." I grinned and moved back to the mirror to make some final adjustments. "I wish you were coming with me, though. With you around, I seem like the normal one."
Andrea huffed and threw a pillow at me, hitting me in the head and messing my hair again. I let out a small (and admittedly not very manly) shriek when I saw the damage and started frantically trying to get it back under some kind of control.
"Aha! So you are nervous, eh?" she asked, crossing the room and turning me around to face her. She quickly began helping me get ready again. "And I wish I was going too, but you know I have to be at this dinner. Twenty-five years is a long time, and should get some sort of recognition, you know?"
Andrea was hosting a surprise dinner party for her parent's 25th wedding anniversary and she had already had everything planned before I had won the tickets. As she was one of the few friends I had who knew what this night meant to me, and the only one in L.A., I had wanted her to come along, but I understood that she couldn't.
"You're just lucky that I let you our of this party to go, sweetie. In fact, I figure you owe me big-time for letting you off the hook," she said with a sly smile as she stepped back and looked me up and down.
"Oh I owe you, do I? Well let me tell you something, sweetheart. As much as I love you and as much as I love your parents, there is no way in hell you'd be stopping me from going to this concert," I said, returning the grin. I also took a step back and looked in the mirror. "Well? What's the verdict?"
"You look great. You'll be the best looking guy there."
"I'll be the only guy there, probably," I said, slipping my wallet into my pocket and grabbing my keys.
"Don't forget these," Andrea called out as I walked out into the living room.
I turned and saw her waving the tickets and passes back and forth above her head. She pulled them away as I reached for them. "Where's my goodbye kiss?" Her grin widened as she pulled her hand from my grasp again.
Giving up, I sighed and gave her a peck on the cheek, grabbing the tickets from her while I did it. "Ew! Girl germs!" I yelled, wiping dramatically at my lips with the back of my hand.
"Just get the hell outta here, asshole," she laughed, pushing me out the door.
"Alright, alright, I'm going! Say hello to your parents and tell them that I'm sorry for not being there tonight!" I called behind me, turning and walking toward the cab that had just pulled up in front of the house.
"Don't worry about it. I'll tell them you're out getting laid! They'll understand!" she called after me, shutting the door before I could respond.
Chuckling to myself, I opened the back door of the cab and got in.
A few minutes later the cab pulled up in front of a small house. I told the driver to wait and got out.
As Andrea couldn't go with me, I had decided to take my "little brother" instead. Being an only child, I had missed the opportunity to take care of a younger sibling, and since the chances of me having kids of my own were pretty slim, the Big Brothers program was the perfect alternative.
At least once a week I spent time with a ten-year-old boy named Robbie for an afternoon or an evening. We would either go see a movie, head to an amusement park, or just grab some dinner and hang out. It gave me a chance to really help Robbie and to feel like I was making a real contribution with him, and it gave Robbie an older friend he could count on and talk to about things that he was too shy to discuss with his mother or his teachers at school.
It also gave Robbie's mother a well-needed and deserved break. Her husband had been killed several years earlier, and so she was left trying to raise Robbie alone, on top of working two jobs to pay the bills. I had a feeling that she enjoyed the time I spent with her son almost as much as he did.
I knocked on the door, which was almost immediately opened. Robbie was standing there, shirtless, obviously excited.
"Come on in Nate!" he yelled, holding the door open.
I stepped inside and grabbed a seat on the couch in their small den.
"I'll be right back," Robbie said, disappearing down the hall.
"Better hurry buddy! The cab's waiting and we're supposed to get there early!" I called after him.
Mrs. James came in from the kitchen with a smile and shook my hand. "Thanks again for taking him with you tonight, Nate. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, though. He's been practically bouncing off the walls all day," she said, sitting down beside me.
"No problem, Mrs. James. I had the extra ticket, and I knew he'd have a good time. He's a really great kid," I responded, sitting back on the couch.
"Yeah, he's got a lot of his father in him," she replied, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye as Robbie entered the room carrying two t-shirts. The first one was plain black, and the other was a Backstreet Boy t-shirt, I noted with a smile.
"Which one should I wear, Nate?" he asked, holding them both out to me.
"Well," I said, looking over at him. "I'd go with basic black, kiddo. I've always thought it was kind of sad to go to a concert wearing the band's clothing. You don't wanna be that guy, trust me."
"Alright, black it is then," he said, pulling the shirt on. "Just let me throw this one back in my room."
"Don't you throw it anywhere, young man. You hang it back up properly," his mother said, pointing at him.
"Figure of speech, mom. Sheesh!" he laughed, leaving the room again. As he did, Mrs. James and I exchanged a grin.
When Robbie returned, I stood and headed for the door. "Alright, I guess we're off then," I said, turning back to Mrs. James. "There's some sort of Q&A session after the concert, but I shouldn't have him back too late."
"That's fine Nate. I'll be here," she answered as we ran to the cab. "You behave yourself young man!" she admonished her son.
Robbie just waved absently and hopped in the cab. I got in beside him and gave the driver our destination as the car pulled away from the curb.
Robbie was visibly excited on the ride to the stadium. "You gonna be okay Rob? You look like you're about ready to jump right out of your skin."
"Yeah yeah, I'm fine. I'm just excited, that's all. These guys are huge, you know? You have any idea how many girls at school freaked out when they found out where you were taking me tonight?" he asked, fidgeting in his seat.
"Oh, so that's it. Meeting the band is making you pretty popular, eh?" I grinned.
"You bet! I had girls calling me all day today trying to get me to say hi to the Backstreet Boys from them."
"Well, with a bit of luck, you'll get the chance to do just that," I said as the cab pulled up to the backstage entrance. I paid the driver and ushered Robbie out of the car.
Getting past security was surprisingly easy. I showed my passes to the huge man at the door, and he checked my name against the list on his clipboard. When he found my name, he crossed it off and opened the door for us.
We were quickly led to a large conference room, where one of the PR people explained the Backstreet Boys would be appearing briefly before the show, and again for an interview session afterwards.
As expected, the room was packed with young girls, their excited squeals filling the air. Robbie and I grabbed a seat at the back of the room. I figured this was the best way to avoid being crushed in the mob when the boys entered.
Shortly after we sat down, a door to the left of the large table that had been set up at the front of the room opened, and the Backstreet Boys emerged. They took their seats and began talking to the fans as they filed past, hoping for autographs or hugs from their favourites.
I asked Robbie if he wanted to get in line and talk to the guys, but he just shook his head.
"No way are you getting me in the middle of that," he smiled, pointing at the throng of teenage girls crowding the table.
I glanced up just in time to see AJ looking at us. He offered a smile and a small wave, which I returned. He then turned around and motioned to one of the aides who had positioned themselves behind the table. As AJ spoke to him, the man glanced at me and then to his clipboard. After a moment, he spoke briefly with AJ again and disappeared into the mass of fans on the other side of the table.
Just as I was wondering what was going on, the young man appeared in front of us. Looking again at the list in his hands, he raised his eyes to me.
"You're...Nathaniel Healy, the essay contest winner?" he asked.
"That's me," I said, standing and shaking his hand. "And this is Robbie."
Robbie stood as well and offered the man his hand.
"You two look a little out of place here, if you don't mind my saying so," he laughed, motioning to the rest of the fans in the room.
"Tell me about it," I laughed with him. "I suppose this was to be expected, though."
"Well, Mr. McLean would like to ask you to stay after the Q&A session following the concert. They rarely get the opportunity to meet their male fans, and the guys feel bad about you two getting stranded back here," he said with a smile.
I looked up at the table and saw AJ and Howie both looking in our direction. They both waved and then went back to signing and hugging.
"Sure. That'd be great. Thanks a lot, Mr..."
"Davis, Gary Davis," he said, shaking my hand again. "I'll come and get you two after the session tonight, and take you to meet the guys. Enjoy the show!" He smiled and headed back into the mob, making his way back to the front of the room.
The autograph session lasted another ten minutes, and then it was announced that the boys had to go and get ready for the concert. This was met with some disappointed sighs from the room, but everyone knew that they really needed to get going. With a final round of waves to the room, they exited through the same door they had come through earlier.
Those of us with backstage passes were ushered out through another door and into an area where a group of chairs had been set up for us to watch the concert.
As soon as the boys took to the stage, it became obvious that whoever had put out the chairs had wasted their time, since none of the girls seemed to have any intention of sitting down. They spent the entire concert yelling and screaming and jumping up and down. I pushed myself and Robbie to the front of the crowd so that we could at least see what the girls were screaming about. Some of the girls didn't seem to like this much, but the teenager hasn't been invented yet who can out-glare me. Each time I looked down to check on Robbie, his smile made it very clear that he was really enjoying himself.
When the concert finally ended, we were again gathered up (some of the more adventurous fans had wandered off in search of some kind of backstage momento) and herded into the conference room. Fewer fans had been granted access to this part of the evening, so Robbie and I were able to stand with the rest of the crowd and watch as the boys first entered and then spent some time answering questions from the room.
About an hour later, the band's manager again announced that the boys had to leave, and thanked everyone for coming. There was a disappointed sigh from the room as the fans began filing back out into the hall.
I was beginning to think that Mr. Davis had forgotten about us when he materialised beside me. "Ready to meet the boys?" he asked, pointing us toward the door to the left of the interview table.
"Ready as we'll ever be, I suppose," I answered, heading toward the door.
The door opened on a room in chaos. There were clothes everywhere, shoes kicked off into the corner, and four very cute guys running all over the place. AJ and Nick were fighting over the remote for the TV set that was bolted into the corner of the room, while Kevin and Howie threw clothes around, apparently searching for something. Brian was nowhere to be seen.
Mr. Davis cleared his throat and all activity ceased as they all looked toward us. "Mr. Healy and his young guest are here to meet you, guys," he announced, pushing us further into the room.
"Hey man! Come on in!" AJ said, untangling himself from Nick and walking over to us. He shook my hand and then knelt down so he was eye level with Robbie. "And who do we have here?" he asked, shaking Robbie's hand as well.
"R-r-r-robbie James, sir," Robbie sputtered, blushing furiously.
"Sir? That's my dad's name," AJ smiled. "I'm just plain old AJ, or you can call me `hey you' if you forget my name. Alright?"
"Okay, si...AJ," Robbie said with a grin.
Mr. Davis said goodbye and shut the door, leaving us with the guys. Kevin, Nick, and Howie all came over and greeted us as well, then cleared places on the couches for us to sit down.
Just as we were beginning to talk with each other, Brian walked in from what must have been the bathroom. He was dressed only in a towel. Normally, I wouldn't do such a thing, and I'm not proud of it, but I couldn't resist checking him out.
"Oh shit! I didn't know anyone was in here!" he yelled as he turned several shades of red. The blush did nothing to make him any less beautiful.
"I told you I invited a couple of people to come back and talk with us, B-Rok," AJ snickered, throwing Brian a robe. "This is Nate and Robbie. Nate and Robbie, this is Brian. He's not usually that shade of red, though."
The guys all laughed. "Shut up AJ," Brian said with a smile. "Nice to meet you guys. I'll be right back." He grabbed some clothes and disappeared back into the bathroom.
By the time he returned, the rest of the guys were sitting talking to Robbie about everything from his favourite music to any potential girlfriends he had at school.
"Oh! That reminds me. I'm supposed to say hi from Becky, Sarah, Maggie," he ticked off the names on his fingers. I leaned over and put my hand over his mouth.
"I think it's safe to say that every girl in the sixth grade at Parkdale Elementary says hello," I laughed, letting Robbie go.
"Yeah," he smiled.
"Well then, let's see what we can do about that," Kevin said, reaching behind the couch and pulling out a folder. Inside were a stack of photos of the group. He took one out, and grabbed a marker from the table. Setting the picture down on the table, he wrote: `To the 6th grade class at Parkdale Elementary. Thanks for listening!' Then he and all the rest of the guys signed the photo. "Think they'll like that?" he asked, handing the picture to Robbie.
"Oh yeah! I'll be the most popular kid in school!" Robbie grinned, setting the picture down carefully in his lap.
"Well, we've got something special for you too, Robbie," AJ said, taking out another folder of pictures. He searched through until he found solo shots of each of the guys, then passed them around to each of the guys, who signed one for Robbie, and another for me. Robbie beamed as he looked at the pictures. I was slightly more reserved, and managed to thank them for the both of us.
"No problem, man. Thanks for coming tonight. We don't get a lot of male fans coming backstage," Howie said, placing the lid back on the marker he had used. "It's a welcome break from all those squealing girls."
The rest of the guys nodded in agreement.
"So are you two brothers?" Nick asked, pointing to Robbie and me.
"Sort of, I guess," I said. "We're part of a big brothers program here in L.A. We get together a few hours a week and just hang out. It gets us both out of the house, and we have a lot of fun, right Robbie?"
He looked up at me and nodded. "Yeah, I love hanging out with Nate. Beats sitting around the house with my mom."
The guys all laughed at that. We all chatted about nothing in particular for a few minute shen Kevin stood.
"Well, I hate to be a spoiled sport, but I'm beat. I think I'm going to head back to the hotel and get to bed," Kevin said, gathering up a few things.
"Yeah, me too," Howie said, getting up from his seat.
AJ just nodded and stood as well. "It was nice meeting you guys, and thanks again for coming," he said as he stretched and yawned.
"Well thanks for taking the time to meet us," I said, shaking their hands.
"Hey Nate? I'm not the least bit tired. You wanna go grab a coffee or something?" Brian asked.
My heart skipped a beat. "I'd love to, but I promised Robbie's mom that I'd get him home right after the concert. She's going to be waiting up for him."
"No problem. We'll take the limo and drop him off on the way," Brian responded with a grin.
"Sounds good then," I agreed.
"Bri, can I talk to you for a minute?" Kevin asked, motioning Brian into the hall.
"Sure cuz," Brian said, following Kevin out of the room. I sat down beside Robbie. He and Nick were deeply embroiled in a discussion of why Nintendo was better than Playstation.
Brian came back in and announced that everything was ready. "You wanna come Frack?" he asked Nick.
"Sure, Frick," he responded with a grin.
Kevin and Howie both said their goodbyes and walked out of the room.
"Alright then. It was really nice to meet you guys," AJ said as he followed Kevin and Howie.
"Hey you!" Robbie called after him.
AJ turned back around with a smile.
"Thanks for the pictures," Robbie said with a grin.
"No problem, Robbie. Say hi to all those girls for me," AJ laughed, pulling the door shut behind him.
"So what did Kevin want, Bri?" Nick asked, gathering up his clothes and searching for his wallet.
"Well, he was concerned about me being alone with Nate here, actually. He was worried that our new friend may turn our to be some deranged fan after all and abduct me," Brian said with a grin. "He made me promise to take someone with me, and at the first sign of trouble we're to get our asses back to the hotel."
"Wow. He really is protective, isn't he?" I said, smiling at the thought of my being a psycho fan.
"Well, when you've seen some of the things our fans can do, you have to be," Nick said. "So what? I'm just coming along as a bodyguard?" He seemed a little disappointed at the thought.
"Relax Nick," Brian said. "You know I would never leave you behind. I was gonna ask you to come anyway, but Kevin interrupted me before I got the chance. Now come on. Let's get Robbie home before his mom gets worried."
We made our way out of the stadium and into the limo without incident. The fans must have seen the rest of the guys leave and assumed that it was safe to go home. We piled into the limo and made our way out of the parking lot.
We hadn't gone too far when Nick giggled and pointed to Robbie. He was curled up next to me, sound asleep.
"Guess the excitement must have finally caught up to him," I said, putting my arm around him.
"Nah, Nick just has that effect on people," Brian said, then started laughing, trying to do it quietly so he wouldn't wake Robbie.
"You're lucky there's a sleeping kid in the car, Rok, or I'd have to beat your ass!" Nick managed to say through his own laughter. This only made Brian laugh harder.
A few minutes later, the limo was pulling up in front of Robbie's house. I carefully unbuckled the both of us, and asked Brian to pass him out to me so I could carry him into the house. "Poor kid. Wait till he finds out he slept through his first ride in a limo."
I carried him up to the house, where Mrs. James opened the door while I was trying to figure out how to knock without waking Robbie up. She held the door and I stepped inside.
"Just take him in and lay him on his bed. I'll cover him up in a minute," she said, closing the door again. I walked down the hall and into Robbie's room and placed him carefully on the bed. Laying his autographed pictures on his desk, I turned the light off and quietly returned to the living room.
"Looks like he had fun," his mother said with a smile.
"Yeah. He had a great time. The guys signed some pictures for him, and they gave him one for his class at school. He was really excited."
"I can imagine," she said. "Did I see you get out of a limo out there?"
"Oh, yeah. A couple of the guys were nice enough to offer us a ride home."
"Ah yes, I see them," she laughed, looking out the window. I moved up beside her and looked out as well. Nick and Brian had the window rolled down and were grinning and waving at us from the car. We waved back and put the curtain back in place.
"Well, I really shouldn't keep them waiting. I'll give you a call on Monday about setting up something with Robbie for next week, okay?" I asked, heading for the door.
"Sure, Nate. I'll talk to you then. Thanks again for taking Robbie tonight."
"No problem, he's fun to hang out with." I smiled and pulled the door shut.
Brian opened the door for me and we pulled away again, headed for a cafe downtown that Nick had suggested.
It was a short ride, and we were soon seated in a secluded booth in the diner. Nick and Brian sat together on one side, and I sat facing them.
"So what are you guys up to now that your concerts are done here?" I asked as Brian hailed a waitress for us.
"Oh, we have to leave in the morning for New York to do some promotional stuff and a charity concert, and then we're headed to Europe for a solid month of touring," Brian answered.
The waitress arrived to take our orders. Brian and I both got coffee and a piece of apple pie. Nick ordered tea, but couldn't decide between the apple or the cherry pie. Finally he gave up trying and ordered a piece of each. The waitress took down our orders and left us again.
"So New York, eh? What kind of promotional stuff are you going to be doing?" I asked, grabbing a napkin and starting to twist the end. I was still a little nervous about being here with them. No matter how down-to-earth they seemed, there was no getting around just who these two guys were.
"Um, I know that we're going to be doing an appearance on Rosie, and I think we'll hit Letterman later in the week. Other than that, I'm not sure. Probably the usual bunch of interviews for teen magazines and stuff," Nick shrugged.
"And then you're taking off for Europe?"
"Yep. A month in Europe, and then we head back over here to do some dates in the US and then up into Canada."
"Cool. That'll make a lot of people happy. We love you guys," I said as the waitress set our food on the table. The pie looked great, so I immediately took a bite.
"We?" Brian asked as he grabbed the sugar and began stirring it into his coffee.
"Yeah..." I answered, not sure what he was getting at. Then it hit me. "Oh, I guess there's no reason that you guys should have known, really. I'm from Canada."
"Cool," Nick said. "So you're from Canada, eh? Great White North and all that, eh? eh? eh?" he laughed, taking a bite from one of his pieces of pie.
I couldn't help but laugh along. "It's not that bad is it? We can't say it that much."
We all laughed, and then spent a few minutes eating in silence. Taking the last bite of his pie, Brian broke the silence. "Aside from you being Canadian, tell us about yourself. You haven't said much."
"Well, what do you want to know about?" I asked. Brian just laughed, spraying the table with crumbs.
"What?" Nick and I both asked at the same time.
"You just said `aboot'," Brian laughed, trying to swallow before he choked himself. Nick snickered.
"I did not," I defended myself with a smile. "What are you talking about?" My face went red as I realised that I had just said it again. This time both of my companions laughed. "How come you didn't laugh before now?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.
Brian shrugged. "With all the travelling we do, I guess we just get so used to different accents and stuff that we don't notice it anymore unless something draws our attention to it. I mean, just think of all of the accents that we have in the US alone. Seriously, though, where are you from, where have you been, where are you going?"
"Alright. I was born and raised in Toronto, ON. I'm an only child, which is one of the reasons that I got involved with the Big Brothers program," I began.
"What do your parents do?" Nick asked.
"My parents were killed in a car accident when I was in my final year of high school, so I really don't have much family left anymore at all," I answered.
"Shit man, sorry," Nick said. Brian added his own condolences.
"Thanks guys. It was pretty rough there for a while, but I managed to make my way through it. I think I'm stronger because of it. The insurance money was more than enough to pay for university, so I got a degree in English at the University of Toronto, where I met my best friend, Andrea, and she and her family sort of adopted me. After university, I used the rest of the insurance money, and some money from a trust fund that my grandparents had set up for me to go in with Andrea's parents on a condo here in L.A., and Andrea and I moved down here. She works for her father's production company, and I'm working on a novel that, with a little luck, I hope to publish sometime soon."
"So you want to be a writer?" Brian asked as he motioned to the waitress to bring us some more coffee.
"Yeah. I can't remember not wanting to be an author. Ever since I was a little kid I've been writing stories. My dad used to say that by the time I was his age I would have lived a dozen lifetimes in my head," I said with a small smile, thinking of my father.
"What's your book about?" Nick asked.
"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about that. I'm kinda touchy about works in progress. Don't want anything to jinx it," I said, hoping that they wouldn't take it the wrong way.
"No problem, Nate. Bri's the same way when he's writing a song," Nick answered. Brian just smiled and nodded.
"So tell me, how did you wind up backstage in a sea of screaming girls tonight?" Brian asked, changing the subject.
"Oh. I thought you knew. Actually, my writing comes into play here too. I won a local magazine essay contest. The tickets and passes to tonight's concert were first prize."
"Hey! I remember hearing something about that contest. Something like `tell us what the Backstreet Boys mean to you' or something, right?" Nick said as he finished eating.
"Yep, that's the one."
"What was your essay about?"
"Well, it was about what the Backstreet Boys mean to me," I said with a sly grin. Brian smiled at that. God what a killer smile!
"No kidding, Sherlock. Really, what was it about?" Nick insisted.
"I dunno if I'm all that comfortable telling two of the Backstreet Boys what they mean to me, you know?" I said, feeling the blood rise to my face.
"Suit yourself, man. You can either tell me now, or I can call management and have them send me a copy of it," Nick replied deviously.
"Fine, fine. I know when I'm beat," I laughed.
"Yeah!" Nick yelled, throwing his hands in the air and giving the victory sign. Several of the other people in the diner looked our way with puzzled expressions until Brian grabbed Nick's arms and brought them down.
I tried to continue, but I was laughing too hard. Finally, I brought myself under some kind of control and started telling them about my essay.
"Well, you guys really hit it big in Canada while I was in my second year of university. I really liked what I heard, and became a big fan. The problem was, I didn't really want to admit to anyone that I was a Backstreet Boy fan. No offence, but you can probably guess what people say about a twenty year old guy who likes the Backstreet Boys."
They both smiled and nodded.
"In my third year at school, I moved off of the campus and into an apartment with my friend Andrea. One day, she was looking through my CD rack and found your CD. She started to laugh, and when I saw what she had found, I went red and almost died of embarrassment. She kept laughing and told me that my having the CD cleared up some things for her. When I asked what she meant by that, she said that she had suspected that I was a bit limp in the wrist, and that my having a Backstreet Boys CD confirmed it.
"She was kidding, but I didn't realise it at the time, and I broke down crying. She dropped the CD and came over, sitting beside me on the bed and asked me why I was crying. I finally broke down and told her that I really was gay. She just hugged me and said that that was all well and good, but that it didn't explain why I was crying. That was when I really lost it. I told her about how I thought that my parents had known, and that I felt that it had kept me from getting really close to them, and that now she was like the only family I had left and how afraid I was that she would hate me if she knew.
"When I had finished, she gave me another hug and assured me that she wasn't going anywhere. We spent the entire night talking, and with her help, I came to realise that being gay wasn't something to be ashamed of, and I started the long process of coming out. I've made some really great new friends, and I lost some who weren't true friends in the first place.
"In my essay, I concluded that, had I not had the Backstreet Boys CD, I almost certainly would not have come out to Andrea that night, and might never have done it, and that if that had happened, I wouldn't be where I am right not, and might not be here at all. The Backstreet Boys, in a strange way, opened the door and made it possible for me to take that first step, and that's what you guys mean to me," I finished.
There was silence at the table. During my story, I had started to cry, and I had lowered my head so they wouldn't see my tears. Lifting my eyes to face Brian and Nick, I noticed that there were tears in Nick's eyes as well. Brian was sitting with a blank expression on his face.
"So you're gay?" Nick asked. I nodded. "And we helped you come out, sort of?"
"In a strange way, yeah," I answered him.
"That's pretty cool," Nick said with a smile. "Wait `till the rest of the guys..."
"Oh shit Nick! We really have to get back to the hotel," Brian said, checking his watch.
"What? What the hell are you talking about Rok? We don't..."
"Nick, we have to go. Now! We've got an early flight to catch in the morning and everything."
"But..." Nick tried again.
"But nothing!" Brian growled, getting angry. "Don't argue. I'm going back to the hotel, and you know Kevin will kick your ass if you don't come back with me." Brian stood and looked at me. "Look, sorry to take off like this, but I'm sure you understand. You don't mind catching a cab back home?"
"No, I guess not. If you have to go, you have to go," I said. "It was great meeting you guys."
"Yeah, nice meeting you too," he answered, already turning toward the door.
Nick stood as well, dropping some cash on the table to cover the bill. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what got into him. He's not normally like this. It really was nice hanging out with you, Nate." He reached out and shook my hand.
"Nick!" Brian yelled from the doorway.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Nick yelled back. "Maybe I'll see you again, Nate."
"Yeah, see you around Nick. Say hi to the other guys for me, will you?"
"Sure thing," Nick said heading out to the limo. As soon as he was inside it pulled away into the night.
I sat back and finished my coffee, thinking about how strange Brian had been acting. `He was fine until I told them about my essay,' I thought. Suddenly, I knew what the problem was. Brian had been great until I had told them that I was gay. That had to be it. Brian had left so suddenly because he didn't want to be around someone who was gay.
These thoughts left me feeling both angry and disappointed. Finally, I shook my head a little and determined to put it out of my head. After all, I reasoned, I was probably never going to see him again. And fuck him if he can't handle it,' I thought. It's not like I made a pass at him or anything.'
Taking one last drink of my coffee, I set the cup down and headed back out of the diner. As I hailed a taxi, the image of Brian's face as I finished telling them about my essay refused to leave my mind. `Why did he have to turn out to be such an asshole?' I asked myself as the cab pulled up and I got in.
I gave the driver my address and was quickly lost in thought again as I headed home.
Not long later, we were pulling up in front of my house. I paid the driver and unlocked the front door. Andrea was sitting in the living room with a cup of tea and a book in her lab. She glanced up at me as I came in and dropped down onto the couch beside her.
"Hey there you. I expected you to be home by now," she said, setting the book aside.
"Well, I would have been, but Robbie and I got to talk with the band after the show, and then Brian, Nick and I went out for coffee after that."
"Really? That's incredible! Gimme all the details!" she gushed, sitting up.
So I told her everything that had happened after I left the house earlier, stopping to show her my autographed photos. And then I told her about coffee with Nick and Brian, and what had happened when Brian had found out that I was gay.
"What a prick!" Andrea fumed, pulling me into a hug.
I hugged her back, resting my head on her shoulder. Suddenly, there were tears in my eyes as I thought of how angry and distant Brian had become at the diner. The rest of the guys had been great, but other than Nick, none of them knew that I was gay, so I didn't know how they would have reacted. And in a way, it was Brian's reaction that mattered. He was the one. He was my favourite, he was the cutest, and, until tonight, he had been the one that I had identified with and looked forward the most to meeting. No matter how hard I tried to forget about it, I just felt so rejected.
Andrea continued to hold me until I had calmed myself down again. "At least you got to see him in a towel," she said, trying to make me laugh. It didn't work.
She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me up off of the couch. "You're going to bed and you're going to get some sleep. Everything always seems better in the morning," she said, dragging me into my room. "I'll see you in the morning."
"What's this?" I asked, pointing to a folded sheet of paper on my pillow.
"Oh. Mom and dad left that for you. I'm going to hit they hay. G'night," she said as she shut the door.
"G'night!" I called after her, then sat down on the edge of my bed and opened the note.
Nate,
We're sorry that we didn't get to see you this evening, but Andrea told us why you couldn't be there, and we understand. I hope that all went well, and that everything lived up to your expectations. I can imagine how excited you must be to actually get the chance to meet the Backstreet Boys, especially Brian. We'll have to have dinner soon so that you can fill us in. Sleep well, honey. Love, Mom and Dad Cameron
The disappointment of the evening caught up to me again, at the thought of having to explain to the Camerons what had happened, and I could feel the tears coming. I put the note aside and crawled into bed. As I shut off the light, I couldn't help but think that maybe it would have been better if I had gone to the anniversary party after all.
My last thought as I fell asleep was `At least I won't ever have to see him again..."
As it turned out, I was wrong.
To be continued....
Okay, that's it for this part. Let me know what you think, and whether I should keep going with this story. I'm kind of fond of it, but I am a bit biased. :) Email me at DLS_stories@hotmail.com
Thanks for reading! :)