Brian and Me

Before we get to the good stuff, there are a few things to take care of. Many of you will undoubtedly skip all of this and go right to the story, and shame on you! :)

First, this story is a complete work of fiction. All (and I mean all) of the characters are just that - characters. It is not meant to imply anything about anyone. While a few of the characters are loosely based on people that I actually know, none of them are meant to represent anyone. While we may wish that some of the Backstreet Boys are gay, and while some of them may even be gay, I'm not going to be the one pointing the finger at them.

As usual, if you are offended or made uncomfortable by material concerning sexual relations between consenting adult men, lighten up or go somewhere else. And if you are such a person, what the hell are you doing here in the first place?

Also, if it is in any way illegal for you to be reading this type of thing, please don't. Or do, just don't get caught and feel very guilty.;)

If any of the BSB happen to be reading this (hey, we can dream can't we?), feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think.

I will take a moment to point out the few stories that I make time to read, in between bursts of writing. If you haven't already, check out "Adam, Zach, and BSB" by EG, "Search and Rescue" by Matt, and "Lucky Me" by Lauren. All three are great stories, and all three authors have become good friends of mine. :)

I am going to single out two people. My editors, who both go a long way to restore my faith in humanity when it's shaken. EG has been incredibly helpful with his comments and humour, and is just all-around fun to talk to. :) And JB's the first person that I met through this story, and one of the biggest reasons that I'm glad I posted it in the first place. He's just so gosh-darn adorable. :P

Okay then, enough of my blabbering for now. I realise that this little thing hasn't changed in a while, so I'm going to work up a new one for the next installment. Bear with me. :P

As always, comments and suggestions are more than welcome. Drop me a line at dls_stories@hotmail.com

Enjoy!

PART 64

When I woke up, Brian was sound asleep, still holding me tightly against him. I smiled, reaching up to wipe away the drool that was trickling from his mouth, then snuggled in, determined to make this moment last.

I was still lying there, enjoying the steady rhythm of Brian's heart and absently playing with is nipple, when I heard the rest of the guys come into the suite. Judging from their words and the crinkle of bags being put on the couch and floor, I guessed they had been shopping.

I smiled, knowing that they had no idea that Brian and I were back yet, and hoping that Kevin would see to it that they didn't find out right away. Brian's breathing changed, and I looked up to find him smiling down at me. He put his finger to his lips, and I nodded.

"I hope Kevin's smart enough to keep his mouth shut," Brian whispered as I crawled up to join him on the pillows. "I want to spend a little more time, just the two of us."

"Surely he'll keep it to himself, right?" I asked, and watched as Brian shrugged and put his arms around me again. It felt so good to be back in his arms, his bed, his life. I had only been gone a few days, and I was completely aware of how cheesy it sounded, but I had missed him as thought we had been apart for years.

I rested my head beside his, inhaling deeply and relishing the scent of his cologne. Quieting again, we could hear the rest of the guys talking outside.

"So when's Brian supposed to be back?" AJ asked.

We smiled at each other.

"Sometime this afternoon, I think," Nick answered. "He was supposed to be back in time for us to rehearse tonight. He would have been able to stay in Toronto another night, except this is the last show for a while, and he has to be back."

"Does he even know about the delay?" AJ asked.

"I don't know," Nick said. "Kevin called them, but didn't hear back from them. Brian probably just thought that he'd see Kev when he got back."

"Well, I hope he gets here soon," Howie said. "I want to know what's going on with Nate."

Hearing the concern in his voice, I knew once and for all that Howie had accepted my relationship with Brian, and that he considered me a friend. I felt a smile expand my lips, and saw it mirrored on Brian's face. I knew we were both thinking the same thing.

"Me too," Nick said. "I hope he's all right."

"Well you're the one who's the least in the dark about all this," AJ pointed out. "He told you."

"No, he told me what happened. And I can see why it would be hard to deal with, but he left for more than that. He had a lot of stuff that he had to deal with."

"Well," Howie said, and I had a feeling from his tone that he was about to make a statement that he had made before. "Maybe if you told us what was going on, we could figure out a way to help him."

"I already told you," Nick sighed. "I'm not going to tell you what he told me. He asked me not to, and I won't. I wouldn't anyway. Some things just aren't meant to be passed on. This is one of them."

'Good man,' I thought to myself, making a mental note to thank Nick for standing his ground.

AJ sighed. "Give it up, D. He's not going to tell us. We'll just have to wait for Brian to get back. Hopefully, he'll have some kind of news."

"He should be back by now, I would think," Nick said. A moment later, he was yelling for Kevin.

Brian and I heard Kevin come into the outer room, and we both crossed our fingers. Seeing this, we both started to laugh, trying desperately not to let anyone outside hear us.

"You could have knocked on the door, like a civilised person," Kevin complained. "What did you want?"

"We wanted to know when Brian's getting in," AJ said.

"Well, with Nick yelling like that, you probably woke him up," Kevin said. Brian and I sighed quietly and let our fingers uncross.

"Remind me to smack him later," Brian whispered.

"You'll have to get in line," I responded, just as softly.

"So he's already back?" Nick asked excitedly.

"Yeah," Kevin answered. "They went to have a nap after the flight. Try to keep it down."

"They?" all three of them asked at the same time, raising their voices.

"Shut up!" Kevin hissed, making Brian and I laugh again. "Yes they. Nate came back with him. Now keep it down and let them sleep. I'm sure they want some time together."

"Cancel that smack," Brian whispered, kissing my forehead.

"So Nate's okay?" Nick asked. The concern in his voice was clear, and made him all the more wonderful.

"I think so," Kevin said. "We didn't really get a chance to talk about it yet. I figured he wanted to talk to us all together. Nick! Get away from that door. If you knock or open it, I'll personally break all your fingers!"

When Nick spoke again, his voice came from right outside our door. Brian and I both tensed a little bit, searching for our shirts. "I just wanted to say hi," he said.

"Well you can say hi later, when they come out. Right now, just let them have some time."

"Okay, okay," Nick said, his voice getting further away from the door. "We may as well put our stuff away while we wait for the lovebirds." We heard him pick up his bags, and head for his room as Kevin retreated back into his own. By the sound of it, Howie and AJ did the same.

I let out a breath and looked to Brian, who was still smiling. He held up his hand, all five digits extended, then counted down silently. As soon as the last finger joined the rest in his palm, there was a soft knock at the door to the bathroom.

I broke out laughing, as did Brian. Getting out of bed, I walked over to the door and opened it a crack. "You just can't possibly obey Kevin, can you?" I asked with a smile.

"You heard all that?" Nick asked.

I moved back so that he could come into the room. "Yeah, I've been awake for a little while. Brian woke up just after you got here."

I followed Nick into the room, and Brian tossed me my shirt again. After I had it on, I sat down beside Brian again, putting my hand around his waist.

"So things are okay?" Nick asked, sitting in a chair close to us.

"Things are perfect," Brian said, rubbing my back. I don't know why he bothered to give me my shirt back, since his hand was running under it anyway.

"And you told him?" Nick turned to me.

"Yeah, I told him," I confirmed for him, smiling at Brian. "He knows everything."

"Thank god!" Nick said relaxing back in his chair. "Do you have any idea how hard the other guys have been trying to get it out of me?"

"I heard," I reminded him. "Thanks for sticking to your guns."

"No problem," Nick said, waving it off.

"But he still hasn't decided whether or not he's going to tell the guys," Brian said seriously. "So you may not be out of the woods yet. You saw what it did to him to tell you. I don't want him going through that again."

"I won't say a thing," Nick assured us both. "But you have to know that they're more than curious about everything. No one thought that there was anything big enough to get you to leave Brian."

"I know," I said, nodding. "And I've got a plan. But it's going to have to wait until later. You guys don't have a lot of time before your rehearsal, and I don't want to get into it quite yet."

Brian nodded and hugged me. "When you're ready, you can tell them. Until then, they'll wait."

Nick agreed. "As long as you're back, their curiosity will be manageable. Everyone's been worried about you, but now that you're here, that should taper off a bit."

"Good," I smiled. "Because things are fine now. No more secrets."

"Nick," Brian said, turning serious again. "Did you need to talk to Nate? I know that he's been away for a few days, and I know that he's helping you with something. I don't need to know what it is," he added quickly, seeing Nick about to speak. "I just thought you might need to talk to him. If you do, I'll go get something to drink."

"No," Nick smiled. "I do want to talk to him, but it's okay. I'll steal him away later."

"That's what you think," Brian said, resting his hand on mine, which was wrapped around his waist and resting against his stomach.

Nick laughed. "Well, I'm going to go and unpack my stuff before Kevin comes to check on me. Any idea when you two are going to show yourselves?"

"In a few minutes," I said, knowing that that was a totally different answer from what Brian was thinking of. "Now that Kevin's told you that we're here, we wouldn't want to seem rude."

Nick smiled. "Okay then, I'll see you in a little while. And let's not mention this to Kevin. I'm kind of partial to my fingers being in working order."

Brian got up to show Nick out, then rejoined me on the bed, pushing me back and climbing on top of me. "What did you do that for? Now we have to make an appearance."

"Well, better to appear now than have to spend more time after you get back from rehearsal. I thought we had better things to do," I laughed. "Besides, we have a few minutes. What do you want to do?"

"This," Brian said softly, kissing me. His fingers found the buttons on my shirt and undid them, as mine returned the favour. We continued to kiss as our bare torsos came together, and Brian's hands once again came up and held my head.

Brian moved his lips to the side, trailing kisses along my cheek and temple until he found his way to that little spot behind my ear. I felt the tip of his tongue run over it, and then his lips settled on it, and his tongue flicked back and forth quickly. At the same moment, Brian pressed his hips against mine, eliciting a surprised and not-at-all quiet moan from me.

About ten seconds later we were still in an embrace, and Brian had moved his lips back to mine in order to stifle any further moans. There was a very loud knock at the door, which surprised us both. Brian jumped a little, then looked at the door.

"Come on!" AJ yelled. "We know you're awake now!" We could hear Howie and Nick laughing on the other side of the door, and then heard Kevin come out of his room.

"AJ! Get the hell away from there! I told you to let them get their rest!"

"They're not resting!" AJ protested. "By the sound of it, they're wasting energy!" This sent Nick into another round of laughter.

"I don't care what they're doing," Kevin insisted. "Leave them alone!"

Brian and I got up from the bed and opened the door.

"It's all right, Kev," Brian said. "We were just on our way out anyway."

"Yeah, it looks it," Howie pointed out, glancing pointedly at our clothes. Looking down, I realised that we were both still unbuttoned, and the rest of our clothing was rumpled. Looking at Brian, I noticed that his hair was mussed from my fingers running through it, and knew that mine probably looked much the same.

Brian blushed and started to button his shirt. "We just got up," he protested meekly.

"Then that must have been some kind of dream Nate was having, with the noises that he was making," AJ laughed.

Now it was my turn to go red in the face.

"It's good to see you, man," AJ said, letting it go and pulling me into a hug. "I'm glad you're back."

"It's nice to see you too," I said, hugging him. "Sorry for worrying you."

"No problem, now that you're here again. We'll talk about it later." AJ released me and smiled at Brian. Then Howie was in front of me. He looked a little awkward, but I just grabbed him and hugged him. After a second, he relaxed and hugged me back.

"You had us really worried," he said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine now," I answered, pulling away again. "Like AJ said, we're all going to have to sit down and talk about it. But not right now."

Howie nodded his understanding and sat back down on the couch. Brian smiled at me, obviously thinking about Howie and I again. I returned the smile, and then opened my arms for Nick. We hadn't hugged in the room, and if Kevin wasn't supposed to know about his visit, we had to keep up appearances.

Nick laughed a little and hugged me.

"Thanks again for keeping this for me. I know it was a lot of pressure for you, and I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it," Nick assured me. "After all, you're keeping something for me, so it's only fair. That's what friends do."

"I'm beginning to realise just how much friends do, actually," I said with a smile. "And that I have a good bunch of them around me."

Nick stepped back and just smiled at me, then hugged Brian for good measure.

Kevin came over and smiled at the two of us. "I know we've already said our hellos, but I didn't get a hug." With that, he threw his arms out.

"Yes you did," I pointed out. "Right after Brian and I scared the hell out of you, you gave me a hug."

"Just shut up and hug me," Kevin laughed, gathering me up again. "Welcome back," he said quietly.

"Thanks," I said, before stepping away a little.

"My turn," Brian said happily, practically jumping into my arms.

"Hey! Quit hogging all the Nate!" AJ protested from the sitting area, where everyone was now waiting.

"Get your own Nate," Brian laughed, hugging me tighter.

"Now now, there's lots of Nate to go around," I grinned. "But unfortunately, Brian owns it all."

AJ rolled his eyes. "I almost forgot how sickening the two of them are together," he said, turning away from us.

Brian grabbed my hand and led me to the empty couch that the guys had left for us. Sitting down on it, he rested his back against the arm and pulled me down to sit between his legs, resting against his chest. His arms came around me and lay on my stomach, while mine sat on top of them.

"So what's on the agenda for tonight?" Brian asked. For a minute I thought he was asking me, and I started to blush, but then Kevin answered.

"We've got the rehearsal in a little while. That's it for tonight. We shouldn't be back too late. Tomorrow, we've got an interview with a local radio station, and then the concert tomorrow night. Pretty light day, I guess. And then two weeks off."

"Are you coming to the rehearsal?" Brian asked me, nibbling on my ear.

"I don't think so," I said, smiling. "I'm going to give Celia and Carrie a call, and let them know that I'm back with you guys, and then I'm going to try and get some writing done. I'm a bit behind schedule."

Brian didn't look happy that I would be skipping his rehearsal, but I think he understood that I wanted to get back into a routine as soon as I could. He just nodded.

"Carrie knows you're back," Kevin said. "I was just talking to her, and figured I could save you a phone call."

"Thanks Kev."

"Don't thank me yet. It didn't work. She still wants you to call her," he laughed.

I grinned. "Oh great. That's all I need. Stuck talking on the phone to your girlfriend while you're out playing with my boyfriend."

"Um, Nate, sweetie? Could you maybe rephrase that?" Brian was trying not to laugh.

I thought about it, then burst out laughing. "You all know what I mean!" I looked around to find them all smiling at me. "Jeez. For sweet, innocent popstars, your minds spend a lot of time in the gutter."

"It's the only place to be," AJ smiled, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head. "That's where all our friends hang out."

"Like you have friends," Nick laughed, kicking AJ's leg.

"Oh, Nate," Brian said, rubbing my stomach. "Don't forget to check your email. I'd bet there's one there from Erron."

I shook my head. "Erron only emails from work anymore, since his computer was stolen. And he's got today off, so there won't be anything."

"You didn't tell him?" Howie asked Brian, who just shook his head.

"Tell me what?"

"Just be sure to check your email, okay?" Brian said, hugging me tighter. "Then we'll talk."

I once again found everyone smiling at me, but didn't know why. I had a feeling that I could get it out of Brian, but my methods wouldn't have been appreciated by the rest of the room. So I shrugged and agreed.

Brian didn't seem to want to argue the point, so I let it drop, pressing back against him and closing my eyes. I wasn't sleepy, but I was trying to concentrate on the moment and just enjoy it. The warmth of Brian's body against mine, the presence of friends around me, and the promise that neither one was going to change any time soon.

"Hey, Kev, did you talk to them about Kathy's proposal?" Brian asked. His accent was even more prominent when I wasn't looking at him, and I made a promise to myself to listen to him more closely.

"Kathy proposed? I thought you two broke up," Howie said, and I knew he would be grinning.

I heard a thump and figured Kevin must have thrown a pillow at him. "We did. I talked to her earlier, and she invited us to go hang out with her and her friend Matt while we have the time off. We've got some things to talk through, and she thought we might all like to come along."

"Sounds like fun," Nick said immediately. "I'm in."

"I'm going to head home to Orlando and see the family. It's been a while," Howie said.

"Yeah, me too," AJ chimed in. "But thank her for the invitation."

I opened my eyes to find Kevin nodding. "Okay, I'll call her back after we're done rehearsal and let her know. Oh, and Nate. I'm supposed to tell you that the price we pay for lodging is an autographed copy of 'Blue Sky' for Matt," he added with a smile.

I returned the smile and nodded. "I'll see what I can do for him."

"Okay then, that's settled."

"Um, Kev?" I asked. He turned to look at me, his eyebrows arching. "Shouldn't you spend at least some of your down time with Carrie? I know she's going to want to see you."

"Nate," he said. "I told you that you didn't have to worry about me and Kathy."

"That's not what I meant," I said, smiling. "I just know that as soon as she finds out that you've got time off, she's going to want to see you. And since she can't leave New York at the drop of a hat..."

"I should go see her," Kevin finished. He thought for a minute. "Okay, well, I have to see Kathy and work things out once and for all with her. Like I said, there are a few things that she wants to talk to me about. I don't want to go see Carrie until things with Kathy are settled. So, how about if I spend one week with you guys, and then a week with Carrie in New York. That way, everyone's happy."

"Sounds good to me," I said. "And that way, Brian and I can fly back to Toronto for a few days when you go to New York."

"Why do you need to go back?" Nick asked.

"It's part of what I've got to tell you guys. Maybe after you get back tonight. Nothing big, but it kinda fits into the rest of it."

Nick accepted my answer. "Then what am I going to do?"

"You could come with us to Toronto," I suggested.

"Like you need me tagging along with you."

"Nick," Brian said, smiling. "You're perfectly welcome to come. It'll be fun." I nodded my agreement.

The gratitude on Nick's face was clear as he smiled at the two of us, and I once again realised how hard it must be for him to have me monopolising so much of Brian's time.

"Well then, what do we want to do until rehearsals?" Howie asked.

"Well, we've only got about twenty minutes before the limo's here to pick us up," Kevin said.

"Nate and I have to unpack our things," Brian said with a smile.

I grinned and sat up, taking his hand. "Then let's just get to it."

"Hey you two," Kevin laughed. "You better leave that door open. None of us is going to want to break you up to get Brian out the door."

Brian laughed and pulled me toward our room. "I'll be back in twenty minutes. The first person to knock on this door before then loses a very vital part of their anatomy."

The guys laughed as I closed the door behind us. As soon as it was closed, Brian had me pressed against it. He kissed me hard enough to rap my head off the door, which made me laugh.

"Hey!" AJ yelled from the other room. "Nate knocked on the door!"

"And I'm taking care of it!" Brian yelled back, laughing as he did indeed grab a very vital part of my anatomy.

"Hey!" I yelled, backing into the door again and making the others laugh. "Sweetie," I said, more quietly. "Um... I thought we had to unpack."

"Well," Brian said, squeezing gently. "I thought that maybe you wouldn't mind unpacking for both of us, when I'm gone."

Pulling away from him, I grabbed his hips and threw him over my shoulder. "I could probably be persuaded," I laughed, throwing him on the bed.

"And what would it take?" he asked, rolling over onto his stomach and looking up at me.

I thought about it. "Well, a back rub would be nice," I said with a grin.

Brian sat up and patted the bed. I smiled and pulled my shirt off over my head, not bothering with the buttons. When I lay down, Brian straddled my waist, sitting on my ass.

He put his hands to my shoulders and started to run them expertly over the muscles there.

"Oooh, you are good at this," I said softly, closing my eyes. Brian laughed under his breath. I felt his hands come to rest on the backs of my shoulders and knew what he was about to do. "Gently," I warned.

"I know. I would never hurt you," he sighed, running his hands in a half-circle over my shoulderblades and causing me to arch my back. As I did so, there was a series of little pops as my spine cracked and I fell back to the bed with a sigh.

Brian put his hands in the small of my back and pressed gently, eliciting a few more pops, then went back to work on my shoulders.

"I am so glad I taught you that," I said, looking up at him with a smile. "And you're such a fast learner."

Brian grinned and continued the massage. After a few minutes, he removed his hands and sat back a little bit. "You do know that you're going to have to return the favour when I get back tonight, right?"

"I thought this was payment for unpacking for you." I turned my head and looked at him.

"Well, it was, but then I thought that unpacking is just the sort of thing that you do for someone you love, and you should be ashamed of yourself for needing to be paid." He smacked me on the back with a laugh.

I sighed dramatically. "Fine, I'm ashamed. So very ashamed," I said in a monotone, returning his smile.

"I thought so," Brian said, pulling his own shirt off and laying down on my back. I felt this hands work their way around and under me until they crossed at my chest and he settled his weight down on me.

"Well this feels good too," I said, feeling his lips press against the back of my neck.

"Tell me about it," Brian whispered, biting at my ear as his hands caressed my chest. "I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be."

As if on cue, Kevin was immediately knocking at the door. "Brian," he called.

"It can't have been twenty minutes," he called back.

Kevin laughed. "I know, but the limo is here, and we've got to go. Get changed, kiss him goodbye, and get your ass out here."

Brian rested his head against my shoulder. "Do you think if I'm really quiet, they'll forget about me?"

"Sweetie. Take it from me. You're unforgettable. Now get going. The sooner you're gone, the sooner you're back here with me."

"But Nate," he whined, hugging himself tighter to me.

"No buts," I said. "You've got to go, and I have some things to get done. Not the least of which is getting you unpacked."

Brian sighed and rolled off of me.

"I can't believe you fell for that!" I laughed, jumping on top of him and pressing my lips to his. Brian's arms immediately wrapped themselves around me.

"I don't hear sounds of changing!" Kevin yelled.

Brian went limp, his hands falling back to the bed. "Okay! I'm on the way!"

I lay back and watched him as he climbed off of the bed and dug through his things for his workout clothes. The rest of the guys had brought what luggage he hadn't taken to Toronto, and it took a moment for him to find where they packed them.

Once he found them, he undid his belt and pushed his pants to his ankles, which brought on a round of whistles from me. Brian just laughed and pulled on his sweatpants. Once he had added the shirt, I had to admit, even with my aversion to them, he looked adorable in sweatpants.

He took my hand and led me back out into the main room, where everyone was waiting. They were all dressed similar to Brian, and all waiting just inside the door.

"It's about time," AJ said, looking directly at me.

"Hey, don't blame me," I grinned.

"You're the one who's half-dressed," Howie pointed out. "Don't tell us that didn't have something to do with Brian taking as long as he did."

I just smiled as Brian put on his shoes. "It's all his fault," he said. "He's just to damn irresistible!" Brian's hand found mine again.

"Well, as hard as it may be, you're going to have to resist him for a while. Let's go," Kevin said, opening the door.

"Bye sweetie," I said, kissing him.

"Bye," he responded when we stopped. "You better be right here when we get back."

"Right here? This very spot?"

"That very spot," he laughed.

I kissed him again, briefly, under the watchful eye of Kevin, and then pushed him out the door. "Hurry back," I said, watching them get on the elevator.

"Count on it," Brian's voice came back as I closed the door and turned, wondering where I had left my phone.

PART 65

"Hey Celia," I said, walking through the bedroom. I grabbed my suitcase and threw it on the bed beside Brian's.

"Nate! Where are you now? Argentina? Decide to run off to Mexico?"

"Did I ever tell you how funny you are, Celia?" I asked with a grin.

"No, I don't think you did."

"Ever think there might be a reason for that?" I joked, hearing her laugh. "I'm back with Brian and the guys. If you've got your schedule handy, you'll know that we're in Denver."

"I've got it right here."

"Okay, well there's been a change in plans."

"Again?" She sounded exasperated, which made me laugh.

"Well at least this time it's not my fault," I said. "There were some sort of problems with the tour, so it's being delayed."

"So where are you and Brian off to?"

"You get right to the point, don't you?"

"With you, always," he said. "It's the only way to avoid your charms."

I laughed. "Trust me, whatever charms you're seeing are entirely unintentional. No offense."

"Oh no, how could I take offense to that?"

"Listen, I don't know exactly what's going on. The concert tomorrow night here in Denver is still on. After that, there's a two week break. I'm spending the first week of that with Brian, Kevin and Nick at a friend of Kevin's in Memphis. The second week, I'll be spending a bit of time in Toronto, but I'm not sure after that. I'll have to let you know when everything comes together."

"Okay, got it," Celia said, and I knew she was writing it all down almost word for word. She really liked to know where I was, and after my little disappearing act, I couldn't really blame her. "Just be sure to take some time just for the two of you."

"Believe me, that's the first order of business."

"Good. So now that that's out of the way, what's going on with you? I'm assuming that you're back to your adorable self, since you're with Brian again."

"Yeah, I'm fine now. I got some things worked out, and Brian and I had a good talk. Things are back on track and moving full steam ahead, if you'll forgive the railroad terminology."

"Glad to hear it," she said, and it was clear from her tone that she really was. "So have you called Carrie to let her know that you're back on tour?"

"Not yet. I'm going to call her as soon as I get done talking to you. She already knows, though. Kevin was talking to her earlier and told her, but I'm still supposed to call her."

"Why on earth would Kevin be talking to Carrie?"

"Oh, I suppose you wouldn't have known about that. She and Kevin kinda hit it off when she joined us for that whole press conference thing for the tabloid story about me and Nick. I guess they could be said to be dating."

"But I wanted Kevin," she protested with a laugh.

"Uh, Celia? I don't know how to break this to you, but I don't think Kevin's going to go for a forty-something year old, married agent with kids my age. As beautiful as you are, I don't think he's into breaking up the bonds of matrimony quite yet."

Celia was laughing pretty hard now. "Speaking of the kids, they both say hi, and they want to know when the new book is coming out." Celia's kids were almost exactly the same age as me. Twins, a boy and a girl, I had met them several times over the last couple of years. It was nice to know that they were thinking of me, though at the same time, it made me slightly uncomfortable. I had the sneaking suspicion that they both had a crush on me, but I certainly wasn't about to make that known to Celia.

"Well, tell them that I said hello, and tell them that if their mother pushed me a little harder, it would be out sooner. But since she's such a lovely, forgiving and understanding woman, she won't do that."

"Subtle, hon, subtle," she laughed. "But I'll pass the message along. But listen, I should get off the phone. Give me a call as soon as you know what's going on over the next couple of weeks, and have Kevin fax me a new schedule as soon as he has one."

"Will do. I'll talk to you later, Celia."

"Take care of yourself, and Brian."

I smiled. "Thanks. I plan to. Bye."

"Bye."

I ended the phone call and unzipped my suitcase. Reaching into the closet, I pulled out a handful of hangers and set them on the bed. Picking up the phone again, I pressed the speed-dial button for Carrie. Fixing the phone in the crook of my neck so that I could keep unpacking, I waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Is that any way to answer your phone in your office?" I asked.

"It is when you're calling," she laughed. "How's it going?"

"Perfectly."

"Yeah, Kev told me that you were back with them. I bet you're cuddled up next to Brian right now, aren't you?"

"Actually, no. He and the guys are gone to rehearsal for their concert tomorrow night. I'm unpacking our things, and calling beautiful women."

"First of all, thank you," she laughed. "And second of all, won't Brian be jealous?"

"Nah, I don't think he'd ever suspect anything between us," I said, keeping up the charade. "We could be making out in the middle of the street and he wouldn't believe it."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said, laughing again. "But I don't think Kevin would be all that happy about it."

"Well maybe I'd just have to give him a little sugar too," I said, trying to sound serious.

"You keep your hands off him!" she protested. "I don't need you converting my boyfriend."

I couldn't keep it up. I sat down on the bed and started to laugh.

"It sounds like you're back to normal," she said, settling down. "It's nice to know that you're back where you belong."

"Tell me about it," I said. "Did you know he came to Toronto to find me?"

"Kev told me. Once he figured out where you were, I didn't figure there was any reason not to let Kevin know. But when I told him, he already knew. Brian left a note or something."

"Yeah. But it was the most romantic thing, Carrie," I said, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. "I'm not going to go into details, but he showed up right at the point that I needed him most."

"And you worked everything out?"

"Yeah. I told him all about what was bothering me, and all about my past. He knows pretty much the whole story now."

"Pretty much?"

"Carrie, there are some things that don't need to be brought up again. He knows everything that needs to be said. The rest I'm just letting go."

"Sounds like a good plan," she said. "As long as the two of you are together, things should turn out okay."

"That's the way I look at it."

"So what are you two doing on your little vacation? Kev told me that you have a couple of weeks off."

I smiled at the way people just assumed that Brian and I were going to go somewhere together. It was just such a couple thing to do, and it meant the world to me that the people that cared about us most thought of us like that. It was a little thing, but a beautiful thing.

"Actually, Brian and I are going to spend some time with Kevin and Nick at... um... a friend of Kevin's for a week, and then we're going back to Toronto for a little while. I don't know what's going on after that."

"Oh," Carrie said, sounding distracted. I knew what she was thinking about.

"Don't worry, Kevin said he's coming to see you too. He's just taking this little side trip first." I didn't feel like telling her that he was going to see his ex-girlfriend before his current one, no matter how valid his reasons were.

Carrie laughed. "I know I'm being foolish. I don't know why I expected him to rush to New York. I'm sure he wants to spend a little time with friends too."

"Carrie," I said comfortingly. "Trust me, he's anxious about seeing you again. He's just got to do something first."

"It's okay, Nate. I'm fine. Now that I know, I'll be sure to schedule as much of my stuff as I can into that first week, and then make the second week's load as light as possible."

"That sounds like a plan," I agreed. "Now I should probably get going. I have to finish unpacking, and then I have to get some writing done. My editor is a real bitch about this kind of thing, and I'm sure that she's going to be harping at me for new pages."

"Oh, I think she's probably going to be pretty understanding about it," she laughed. "But she probably would appreciate you getting to work, and getting as much done on your little vacation as you possibly can."

"Point taken. I'll do my best to get you some stuff as soon as possible."

"That's all I ask," she said. "But do have some fun too. I know Brian doesn't get a lot of time off."

"Count on it," I said. "I'll talk to you later."

"You bet. Bye."

"Bye," I said, flipping the phone shut again and smiling at Carrie's understanding. I was more glad than ever that I had changed editors. Not only would Pete have never understood or condoned my little break from writing, but I highly doubted that Kevin would have hit it off nearly as well with him.

Smiling at this thought, I quickly unpacked my bags, managing to find a spot for everything. Throwing them aside, I started in on Brian's things.

Ten minutes later, we were both unpacked, and the bags were stashed neatly underneath the bed. The only one left was my computer bag. Grabbing it, I cleared off the top of the desk in the room and set about covering it with my things. After I had set out my folders and notes, I added my computer bag to the ones under the bed and turned the computer on.

Remembering that I was supposed to check my email, even though I knew that there wouldn't be anything from Erron, the first thing I did was check my messages.

My eyes opened in surprise when I found that there was indeed a letter from Erron. Wondering how in the hell Brian had known that there would be, I clicked on the message.

'Hey Sweetie!

'Let me just say that you have the best boyfriend on the planet! After you left, I went into my room and found a brand new laptop sitting on my bed! There was a note attached to it, from Brian.

'It said that he wanted to get me something for helping the two of you be together, and for helping you when he couldn't. How sweet is that? This thing has everything! It's a million times better than the one that was stolen! Please thank him for me? And tell him that he's got one hell of a hug coming to him when I see him again. :P

'I'll write again soon, I just have to play with this thing for a while.

'Nate, sweetie, if you don't sleep with him I will. ;)'

I laughed at the last comment, as I knew Erron had when he wrote it. I read the note over again and was somewhat surprised to find tears running down my face. Wiping them away, I felt my eyes drawn to the first sentence over and over again.

"I certainly do," I said, reading it through once more. I couldn't believe that Brian had done something so sweet and wonderful for Erron. And at the same time, I could completely believe it. It was just such a Brian thing to do. Smiling to myself, I saved the message, reminding myself to let Brian read it later. I sent off a quick response, telling him that I would pass along his thanks and warning him to keep his mitts off of my man, then opened up my word processor and prepared to get down to work.

Looking around me, I realised that I had an entire suite to write in, and there was no reason to coop up in my room. So, I shut everything down and unplugged it, carrying the computer out into the large common room.

Setting it down on the coffee table, I went back for the folder of editing that I had been putting off. Doing the editing would let me go back over what I had written already and get back into the story before I delved forward with the writing.

Once I was all set up, and the computer was ready again, I set into the folder. There were a lot of pages in there, and I mentally chastised myself for letting it get so far behind. Usually when the editing piled up like that, it led to re-writes of certain sections, since one change early on could have ramifications later in the story.

With a sigh, I flipped back to the first page in the folder and set to work, still smiling about what Brian had done.

PART 66

I was about three-quarters of the way through the pages in the folder when I heard the elevator ding outside the door. Springing up from my seat, I ran over and stood in the exact spot that Brian had indicated earlier.

When the door opened, Brian pushed past the rest of the guys and grabbed me. Nick started laughing.

"See? I told you he'd be right in that very spot."

I smiled at him as Brian hugged onto me briefly and then stepped away. "I'm all sweaty and gross," he explained. "I'm going to have a shower." He ran into our room while the rest of the guys were still taking off their shoes.

"That boy is insane," AJ laughed, walking past me. "All the way back, all we heard was 'Can't this limo go faster?', and the look on his face was priceless."

I grinned at that and sat back down, marking my place in the editing and closing the folder again.

"You getting much done?" Howie asked on his way by. They really were all sweaty and gross, and everyone but Nick was heading for their rooms. Apparently only Nick and us shared a bathroom. Everyone else had one of their own.

"Just some stuff I should have done a while ago," I said. "I'm going to start in on the writing again in the morning, I think."

Howie and AJ both nodded and then disappeared into their respective rooms. Kevin sat down for a minute.

"Did you talk to Carrie?"

"Yeah, I called her and let her know what was going on. She seemed a little disappointed that you weren't coming to New York until next week."

"Did you tell her why I wasn't?" he asked.

"I told her that you had a side trip to make first, and that you, Nick, Brian and I were spending a week with your friend. I didn't think it was my place to tell her who the friend was, or why you were going."

Kevin smiled. "Thanks Nate," he said. "I'll tell her when I see her. It's not the sort of thing that you want to do over the phone."

I nodded. "I understand."

"Thanks," he said again, standing up. "Now I'm going to shower too. I'll be back in a few minutes. You and Brian are going to be joining us for a while, right?" This last he said with a slowly expanding smile, making me wonder whether or not Brian had talked to him.

"Yeah, we've got a bit of talking to do. I know you all want to know what was going on."

"Only if you want to tell us," Kevin said, turning serious. "I'm not going to lie to you. We all want to know, but we'll wait if you want, or you can just tell us it's none of our business. After all, it really isn't."

I smiled. "I know all that, but I want you to know. We'll talk after everyone smells nice again."

Kevin laughed and left to take his shower, which left Nick and I sitting in the room.

"Come on," I said to him, picking up my computer. Since I was using the battery, there was no need to shut it down again. "Walk with me, talk with me. Just stay downwind of me."

Nick grinned and followed me into the bedroom. I set my computer down on the desk again and hooked it up to the printer. Bringing up the file I wanted, I set it to print five copies, then left it again.

Nick watched as the first of the pages came out of the printer. "What's this?" he asked, hesitating to actually pick up the paper.

I motioned for him to go ahead and read it. "It's nothing you don't already know," I said. "I wrote that while I was in Toronto."

Nick read it over quickly, then picked up the next page and glanced at it. "Did this help?"

I nodded. "A lot," I confirmed. "And since I don't particularly want to go over it all again with everyone, I thought I'd just let them read that. What do you think?"

Nick was looking over the successive sheets as they came out. "I think it's all here, and if it's easier for you, this should work for the guys. Are you sure you want to tell them, though?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. They were worried about me, and curious. The least I can do is let them in on what they were worried about."

"That's bullshit, Nate," Nick said. "You know perfectly well that they'll accept it if you don't want to tell them. No one thinks you owe any sort of explanation."

"I know I don't owe anyone anything," I agreed. "But I want them to know. As long as Brian is there with me, I'll be fine."

"Well you know I'll be there," Brian said, coming into the room in a towel. "But Nick's right. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, or if you're not ready."

"Would you two stop worrying about me?" I said with a smile. "I'm going to tell them. I want to tell them."

"Okay," Brian said, hugging me. The feel of his bare upper body against me was wonderful, and expanded my smile. "Now if Nick would go and get showered, we wouldn't have to put up with that horrible stench," he laughed.

Nick punched him in the shoulder. "You didn't smell too rosy a few minutes ago," he said, cutting through the bathroom to his own room.

"But that was a few minutes ago," Brian protested. "This is now. Live in the moment, Nick!"

Nick just waved it off and grabbed a towel from his own room, then returned and shut the door connecting our room to the bathroom. A few seconds later, we heard the water in the shower turn on.

Brian glanced at the papers still being spit out of my printer, but didn't say anything. I kissed his forehead and gave him a hug. "That was for Erron," I said, smiling at him.

"So he liked it?" Brian's own grin came shining through.

"Of course he liked it," I laughed. "Who wouldn't? He said you're in for a huge hug next time he sees you. I saved the message for you to look at."

Brian smiled and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Thank you," I whispered. "You're wonderful."

"No, he's wonderful. How many people would do this for someone else? He deserved something for it, and I thought the laptop would be perfect."

"Well, you're both wonderful," I said. "And you're right. I should have thought of getting him something."

"Well all is not lost," Brian said, looking me in the eye. "I was going to get something for Andrea too, but I couldn't think of anything to get her. Erron's was easy, because you told me that he was robbed, but I don't have a clue about Andrea."

"Then you and I will just have to go shopping soon and find something for her," I said, putting my hands on his waist and pulling him into a much more passionate kiss.

"Wow, was that from Erron too?" he asked, batting his eyelashes at me.

"Nope, that was all me," I laughed. "Now get dressed. The rest of the guys are probably waiting for us."

Brian nodded and moved to the closet, pulling out some casual clothes for the evening. He glanced back at me before dropping his towel, making sure that I wasn't looking. I smiled and turned my back to him, keeping my eye on the mirror in front of me.

"Nuh uh," he said, laughing. "You think I don't see that mirror? Get your ass out of here."

I sighed and gathered up the pages from the desk. The printer had just finished the last page. Leaving both it and the computer turned on, I took the pages and a stapler from the desk drawer, and made my way into the common room.

I was right about the rest of the guys waiting for us. AJ and Howie were sitting on one of the couches and flipping through channels on the TV. Kevin was leafing through the room service menu and making himself a drink at the bar.

They all looked up when they saw me, but not seeing Brian or Nick, they quickly turned their attention away. I knew they were just waiting for me to give them the word. Sitting down beside Kevin at the bar, I started putting the stacks of paper together and stapling them, until I had five little bundles sitting in front of me, face down.

"You want a drink?" Kevin offered, obviously seeing the tension in my face.

I nodded. "What are you having?"

He laughed. "This is just Coke. But there's stronger things here."

"Coke sounds good," I said, smiling. "And maybe throw in a little rye for flavour."

Kevin grinned and grabbed the bottle. "You got it."

Brian emerged a minute later and hugged me from behind. Kevin sat the glass in front of me and picked up his own. Before I could take it, Brian had my drink and was taking a sip.

"Whoo!" he said, putting it down. For a minute I wondered whether or not he was going to chastise me for drinking, but then he motioned to Kevin to make him one as well. I smiled as I felt his cheek rest against the back of my neck, and his hands join together on my stomach.

Our new bartender sighed and set to work with a smile. By the time Nick had joined us, Kevin was setting Brian's drink down and once again trying to take a sip of his own.

"Hey Kev," Nick began.

"No way. Get your own," he laughed.

Nick grinned and reached for the bottle of rye. Kevin smacked his hand away. "You're dry for a while, after that night in Santa Fe."

Nick pouted. "That wasn't my fault!" he protested. "Nate was plying me with liquor!"

My eyes opened wide. "Plying you with liquor? I bought you one, one, drink. You stole the other one. That was all you got from me!"

"But that one gave me a taste for it," Nick smiled. "After that I just couldn't stop."

"Oh please," Brian interrupted. "Like we haven't all, with the exception of Nate, seen you drunk before that night."

"Name one time," Nick argued, still smiling.

"There was that night in DC," Howie called from the couch.

"And that time in Edmonton," AJ added.

"And what about the night you got wasted in Orlando and we had to sneak you past your parents when we got you home?" Brian put in.

"Okay okay! You make it sound like I'm an alcoholic!" Nick laughed.

"Relax Nick," Kevin said. "You know we're just kidding around with you."

Nick smiled and made to grab the rye again. Once again, Kevin stopped him. "But you're still not drinking tonight."

Nick sighed dramatically and just grabbed a Coke from the fridge. I smiled at him, and he couldn't keep up the act. His smile came through the sad little boy act quite nicely.

Kevin looked at me seriously for a minute. "You ready, or do you want to wait a while?"

"No time like the present," I said, taking a deep breath.

Brian squeezed me a little. "You sure? This is the last time I'm asking, but I have to make sure."

I turned in my chair, spinning in his arms. "I'm sure. They're family, right?"

Nick and Kevin both smiled at that. "Right," Brian agreed, releasing me and taking my hand instead.

I picked up the stack of paper on the bar and grabbed Brian's drink, passing it to him. Taking my own as well, we made our way over to where Howie and AJ were sitting. As soon as they saw us, the TV went off and they were giving me their full attention.

"All right," I said. "We've got to talk about why I left, and why I'm back. And the first person," I added, seeing AJ, Howie and Kevin all about to speak, "who tells me that I don't have to do this is going to die." I smiled at them. "I want to tell you, and you want to know. So we're going to do this."

They all smiled back at me and nodded. I started passing out the packets of pages I had. "Now Nick and Brian, I know you already know this stuff, but in the interests of fairness, you're getting one of these too."

"What is it?" AJ asked, looking at me.

"That is me," I said, pointing to the papers. "When I was in Toronto, Andrea said something to me that helped me get to the point where I could talk about my past with Brian. She told me that I would do it in my own time and in my own way. My way has always been writing, so I wrote it out."

"So this is your life story?" Howie asked, riffling the pages.

I laughed. "Well, not all of it, considering that there's only about fifteen pages there. I'd like to think that I'm interesting enough for at least twenty. But that's most of the bad stuff. The stuff that was creating the problem. Anyway, I wrote it out, and it really helped me put it all into perspective. So, instead of going through it all again, I thought I would let you read that.

"I modified it a little from it's original, to make it more understandable, but all the major parts are there."

"So you want us to read this before we talk?" Kevin asked, holding up his copy.

"Yeah. Once you get through there, I'm sure you'll have questions."

Howie, AJ, and Kevin all nodded and turned the page with a final look at me. Nick and Brian both set their copies on the coffee table. Leaning forward, I grabbed them and gave them back to them. "Read it."

"But..."

"Please just read it. I know that you both know it, and I know it will be unpleasant, but do it for me, please?" I didn't know why it was so important to me that they both go through it again, but it was. They both looked at me for a moment, then at each other, then nodded and started to read.

I leaned back on the couch and pulled Brian over so that he was leaning with his back against my chest. I put my arms around him under his own and rested my head on his shoulder, reading the odd word here and there as he read.

No one said anything for a few minutes. The first few pages were really just a background to what I was like when I started high school, which was where the shit hit the fan.

Since he had heard it the most recently, Brian was reading faster than the rest, and he came to the part where I had tried to commit suicide even before Nick did. I wasn't really paying attention, looking from each of them to the other until I felt Brian shuddering against me.

Looking at the page, I realised where he was in the story and hugged him tighter to me. "It's okay," I whispered in his ear. "Let it out. I'm here." I had tears in my own eyes as he cried against me. He stopped reading altogether, putting the papers in his lap and grabbing my hands.

The rest of the guys noticed and looked up from their reading as well. Nick, the only one who knew what was coming, understood immediately and put his hand on Brian's leg. AJ, Kevin and Howie all looked from Brian to me, wondering what was going on. I just urged them with a look to go back to their reading. After a few seconds, they did just that, stealing little glances at us to make sure that Brian was all right.

Brian calmed little by little, and I just held him as he cried. Eventually, he picked up the papers and began to slowly read through them again. I relaxed a little and rested my head on his shoulder again, watching the rest of the room.

Nick had tears running down his face, but he was still reading. I got the distinct impression that he was trying to keep it together for Brian. He glanced up at me, and the expression of sorrow on his face pulled at my heart. I gave him a weak smile, thanking him, then he returned to the reading.

Looking at AJ, I saw him watching me. I arched my eyebrows, encouraging him to speak. "They really did that to you?" he asked. Howie and Kevin were also looking at me, obviously at the same place as AJ.

Brian turned to look at me as well, as did Nick. I nodded and lifted my hair away from my temple, showing them the scar there.

"Jesus, you're lucky you got away with just that," Howie said, looking at it.

"There are a couple of others too, but you're right."

One by one, their heads returned to reading. A couple of minutes later, Brian finished and put his pages on the coffee table again. Turning in my arms, he leaned against me, his head resting on my chest and his arms wrapped around me.

"I love you," he said softly.

I couldn't help it. The tears started to fall freely then. They were words he had said before, but I don't think he had ever put so much meaning behind them. They were meant to soothe and comfort, but also to reaffirm. I kissed the top of his head and nodded, unable to speak for a moment.

A minute later, Kevin's head shot up, quickly followed by AJ and Howie. I looked at each of them, and saw the shock and sadness in their eyes. I wanted to smile, or nod, or make them know somehow that it was all right, but I couldn't. I just looked them each in the eye, hoping that they would get the message.

AJ wiped absently at his eyes, and turned them downward again. Howie and Kevin, seeing this, followed suit. Nick finished with his as well and added it to Brian's on the table. Getting up, he went to the bar and took down the bottle of rye. Kevin noticed, but didn't say anything. He nodded when Nick looked up at him.

Nick made himself a drink and rejoined us. Brian and I, as though reminded, took ours off the table as well and drained the glasses. Nothing was said until everyone else had finished. Kevin was the first to put his pages on the table, but AJ and Howie soon did the same.

They all sat looking at me, waiting for me to speak, but I didn't know what to say. Finally, I settled on an old standby. "Well?"

"Shit man," AJ said, sitting back in his chair. "Shit."

"Well said," I smiled.

"No wonder you didn't want to talk about it," Howie said. "That's a lot of baggage to be carrying around with you."

I nodded. "Yeah, it kind of weighs on you after a while," I agreed. "That's one reason I told Andrea when I did. It just got to be too much, and everything was reminding me of things that I didn't want to be reminded of. Once she knew, there was someone that I could count on to be there and to understand without my having to explain anything."

"That's understandable," AJ said. "Is that the same reason that you wound up telling Nick?"

I looked briefly at Nick and smiled. "No, different reasons altogether. But it was a good thing." I was trying to make sure that Nick didn't feel bad about bringing all of this up for me again.

They just nodded, knowing that I didn't want to talk about why I had told Nick. "I can't believe that this Jack guy would do that to someone," Kevin said, picking up a sheaf of paper again and leafing through it. "After the way people treated him, to go out and purposefully put that on someone else."

"He's a bastard," Brian said, the anger in his voice clear. But then a slight smile came across his face. "But Nate got him."

I laughed and playfully slapped Brian in the shoulder.

"I didn't hear about that," Nick said, smiling.

"It's nothing, really."

Brian sat up and looked at me. "It's not nothing. It's nowhere near what he deserved, but it's not nothing. Nate punched him out," he told the rest of the room.

Kevin and AJ laughed. "How'd that happen?" Howie asked.

"Andrea and I ran into him when we were in university," I said. "I didn't even know it was going to happen until I did it."

"Well Brian's right," Kevin said. "It's less than he deserved, but I'm glad you were able to take some sort of revenge."

I nodded and pulled Brian back to me. He leaned against me and brushed the hair away from my temple again. Running his finger over the scar there, he looked at me. "Where are the others?"

"There's one right here," I said, taking his hand and putting his index finger on the inside of my left knee. "It's barely noticeable unless you're looking for it. And there's another one that runs along here," I ran my hand in a jagged line down my right side from just below my waist to about half way down my thigh. It was just short enough to be below the waistband of my pants and above the leg of my boxers, so Brian had never seen it. "It's about six inches or so. It was the worst of them, though the one on my temple bled more."

Brian looked at me for a moment, then kissed me. "I'm so sorry," he said quietly. "I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that, and I'm sorry that I couldn't be there to help."

I held him to me and sighed. "I know you are. But you're helping now, just by being here. I'm fine. They hurt me, but I'm fine."

Howie cleared his throat. "They didn't... uh..."

We all turned to look at him, waiting for him to find the words. I thought I knew what he was trying to ask, and didn't think that he was going to be able to actually get it out.

"You know," he tried again, his hands moving in his frustration at not being able to say what he meant. "When they took you into the bathroom, they didn't..." His voice once again trailed off.

"Rape me?" I asked, my voice no more than a breath.

Howie nodded and lowered his gaze, while the rest of the guys looked at me. Even Brian looked up.

"No, they didn't," I said. The details in the pages they had read had been sketchy, since my memory of the time was pretty cloudy. "They checked for that at the hospital after my parents found me the next morning, since I had obviously been beaten up."

Brian let out his breath and settled against me again. Howie nodded.

"And you never tried anything that drastic again?" This was from Kevin.

"No," I said. "I got into therapy with a really great counsellor, and changed schools, as you read, and things started to look up. I've never even been close to trying it again."

"And he never will be," Brian said, hugging me tighter. I smiled, nodded, and hugged back.

We talked for another thirty minutes before they were done with their questions. There were a few more tears, and a few more laughs. Then I told them about what I had done when I got to Toronto. When I mentioned touring the school, Brian gasped.

"You shouldn't have gone there alone, after what happened with Nick."

"Trust me, Andrea already bitched me out for that," I grinned. "But it turned out fine. It's the reason we have to go back to Toronto, in fact. I promised the Principal that I would come and talk to an English class for her."

"Cool, can we come watch?" Nick said, smiling.

"I think having you two there might distract them from what I was saying," I laughed. "But you can come along and keep the Principal busy for me. I'm sure she'd want you to talk to a music class or something."

When we were finally done talking about things, and I had answered all of their questions, I stood up to get myself another drink, just Coke this time. Brian smiled and gave me his glass as well.

Kevin stood with me and gave me a hug. "Thanks for telling us," he said. AJ and Howie echoed his statement from their seats.

I returned the hug and nodded, smiling at them all. "Thanks for caring enough to want to know."

Kevin took Nick's glass from the table and joined me at the bar, pouring each of us a glass. Howie came over and got out a glass for himself and AJ, and filled them as well.

Once we were all sitting again, Kevin cleared his throat before anyone could take a drink. Raising his glass, he turned to look at Brian and I. "To Nate and Brian," he said with a smile. "And to a future bright enough to erase the past."

I started to laugh. "No offense Kev," I grinned. "I appreciate the sentiment, but that was about the corniest thing I've ever seen you do."

Kevin laughed as we clinked our glasses together. "Yeah, well it would have been better with champagne."

"No, it would still have been corny," Brian agreed with me. "But it is appreciated." We all drank, trying not to laugh.

PART 67

We sat around talking about less-stressful things, like what everyone was going to be doing on their time off, for another hour or so. Kevin excused himself for a few minutes to call Kathy and confirm our plans.

After Kevin rejoined us, Brian looked over at me and winked. I smiled as he yawned dramatically.

"I'm bushed," he said, stretching. "You ready for bed?"

"Yeah," I said. "And I do believe I still owe you a backrub."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that," Brian smiled, taking my hand and pulling me up off of the couch. "We'll see you guys at breakfast."

I looked around the room and offered a round of waves goodnight. Looking at Kevin, I saw the glint in his eye and knew for sure that Brian had talked to him. He winked at me and smiled before Brian had me through the bedroom door and was kicking it closed behind us.

I looked around the room and felt my jaw hit my chest. There were candles flickering everywhere. Not so many that it was cheesy, but just enough to light the room in a soft, gently shifting light. It was exactly the way I would have done it, had I thought of it. And believe me, I was kicking myself for not thinking of it.

Brian turned to me with a smile on his face. "You like it?"

"It's perfect," I said, kissing him. "It's absolutely perfect. But how did you get it done? I've been with you since you got back."

He just looked at me, waiting for my brain to kick in.

"Kevin," I said with a smile. "I knew you told him."

Brian nodded. "I had to to get him to help me out."

"But how did he do it? He hasn't even been in our room."

"You haven't been out on the balcony yet, have you?" Brian asked, surprised. And rightly, I suppose, since that was normally the first place I went.

"No, I guess not. But what's that got to do with anything?"

Brian took my hand and led me out onto the balcony. Pulling me along, we wound up outside another room. Looking inside, I could see that it was AJ's. "The suite covers the whole floor," he explained. "So there's no need to break up the balcony. This one connects ours, AJ's and Kevin's rooms. There's another one that runs between Nick's and Howie's."

"So," I said, taking his hand and leading him back to the bedroom. "My guess is that Kevin still has to make a phone call?"

Brian laughed and nodded. "He came in and set all this up, because we figured that you would notice if I took off."

"I always notice when you're not there," I said, hugging him.

"Now," he said, putting my hands on his waist. "What was that about a backrub?" He started to undo my shirt slowly.

"Did I say something about a backrub?" I asked. "I really don't recall anything about that."

Brian smiled. "Oh yeah?" He slipped the shirt over my shoulders and I let go of him long enough for it to fall off my arms and onto the floor. "Let's see what we can do to make you remember."

Brian leaned forward and kissed my chest, running his tongue over my nipple, then moving up to kiss the hollow of my neck.

"Oh," I said, closing my eyes with a smile. "I think it's coming back to me." I moved my hands to his shirt and pulled it off over his head and down his arms.

"Good," Brian whispered, his breath rushing against my skin. "I thought it might."

"Yeah," I agreed, working at his belt buckle. "Something about you cheating me out of my proper payment for unpacking your things."

Brian slapped me in the ass and laughed. "I thought we agreed on that."

"You're just lucky you're so cute, or you'd have never gotten me to agree with you," I said, pulling his belt from the loops on his pants.

"Cute does have it's advantages," he agreed, putting his hands to my waist. I wasn't wearing a belt, since I was just hanging around the suite, so he was saved a little bit of hassle. Undoing the button, he kissed me again. "But someone as beautiful as you are can be pretty convincing too."

"Is that right?" I asked, undoing his pants as well and pushing them down. Mine quickly met them around our ankles.

Brian nodded as we both stepped to the side, out of our pants. He pulled me to him again, putting his lips to my shoulder. "For instance, you've just convinced me to let you give me a backrub."

I had to laugh. "Well gee, that's great. I was beginning to worry that you might not let me. Now get your smartass self onto the bed and lay down."

Brian laughed and jumped up onto the bed. Laying down obediently, he brought his feet up into the air and clapped them together. Grinning, I climbed up with him and sat down on the back of his legs. While it meant that I had further to reach to get to his shoulders, it did offer me a great view of his ass.

Leaning forward, I put my hands to his back and just stroked it for a moment. The soft skin was perfect, and I took the time to just let my hands roam over it as they wanted to.

"Ahem," Brian said. "I don't feel any rubbing."

I smiled and dug my knuckle into his back, making him jump. "How's that?"

"That kinda hurt actually," he laughed.

"Then are you going to let me do this and stop complaining?"

"Yes'm."

"Good." I ran my hands across his back, searching for the places that he was ticklish. He jumped a little, but didn't say anything else. "Good boy," I said, petting his head.

Finally, I settled my hands on his shoulders and started to work the muscles there. Brian sighed and settled down, relaxing under me. His muscles weren't that tight at all. I guessed that his workout during rehearsals had released what tension had been there, but that our talk with the guys had added a little back into the equation.

I moved my hands down his sides, working my way to the waistband of his boxers. Brian opened his eyes and looked back at me, but I just worked my hands along his waist and brought them together at the small of his back. I pushed gently, and Brian raised himself up a little, arching his back. Our efforts were rewarded as his back cracked audibly.

"You ready?" I asked, setting my hands on his shoulders again and kneading the muscles that were already loose.

"Yeah," Brian answered, smiling in anticipation.

Running my hands in the now-familiar arch across his back, I felt Brian push up against them and groan softly. I smiled as he settled back on the bed. "That was nice."

"Just a minute," I said, climbing off of him. I got up and grabbed my bottle of hand lotion from the dresser, then jumped back on the bed. Upending the bottle, I let a generous blob of lotion fall on Brian's back.

"Hey! That's cold!" he said, jumping.

"But it smells nice, and it's great stuff," I argued, putting my hands on his back again and spreading the lotion around. I started to rub it into his skin in earnest, making sure to spread it down his arms and sides as well.

"Mmmm... that does smell nice," Brian said, relaxing some more.

"See? Have a little faith," I laughed, working it in some more.

I worked on him for a few more minutes until I was satisfied, and then I just lay down on top of him, kissing the side of his neck.

"Hi," he said quietly, turning his head to look at me.

"Hi sweetie," I responded, settling my weight on him. "Feel better?"

"Better and better by the second," he smiled. "But get back up for a second?"

I looked at him, then raised myself up on my hands and knees, thinking that he just had to shift a little to be more comfortable. Instead, he laughed and rolled over onto his back. "That's better. Now come here."

I grinned and dropped back down on top of him. Sniffing, I nuzzled his neck. "You smell perty," I said, laughing.

"Shut up and kiss me," Brian smiled, putting his arms around my neck.

"Ooooh. I love it when you get bossy," I laughed, kissing him.

Brian's hands fell to the side of my head, both running through my hair and pressing my lips to his. "Mmmmmm..." he moaned against my mouth, sending interesting little vibrations through my lips. I felt his tongue slip between them, and opened my mouth wider, accepting it.

Brian's tongue slid against mine as his legs separated and wrapped themselves around my hips. Resting my weight on top of him a little more, I let one hand entwine itself in his hair as the other came to rest on his leg.

Out of breath, Brian pulled his mouth from mine, and I moved my lips to his neck. As he was panting against my ear, Brian's hands were running up and down my back. Each time they came in contact with the waistband of my boxers, they delved a little further under the fabric.

"I love you Nate," he whispered, finally grabbing them and pulling them down a little. "I don't know how to tell you how much."

I looked up at him, running my tongue along his jaw. "Show me," I whispered in response. "You've told me, now show me."

Brian smiled his melt-your-heart smile and rolled us over on the bed so that he was on top of me. He kissed me again, our tongues touching briefly before he moved his attentions to my neck. His lips brushed against my adam's apple, then the hollow of my neck, and finally resting on my ear.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, directly into my ear.

"I'm sure," I whispered back. "I love you." Leaning forward a little bit, I sucked his earlobe into my mouth, running my tongue across it. I could feel the tiny little hairs on it brushing against my tongue.

Brian didn't need to be told twice. He immediately started to kiss his way down my chest, stopping only at my navel. Licking at it, he closed his mouth around it and sucked, sending shivers up and down my spine. Seeing this reaction, Brian did it a few more times before he moved on.

Once again grabbing at my boxers, Brian pulled them down around my knees with one quick jerk. As he smiled up at me again, I moved my legs around, finally managing to kick my boxers off the end of the bed. I gave him a smile, and then closed my eyes and shuddered as I felt his hand close around my member.

Brian's hand began to gently stroke me, building up a rhythm. Once it was established, I started to buck my hips gently along with his hand, moaning gently.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt Brian begin to gently blow across the head, causing the hairs on my arms to stand on end. I opened my eyes again, looking down at him.

He was sitting between my legs, one hand supporting him, the other still gently wrapped around me. As I watched, he pursed his lips and gently blew again. Seeing me looking, he then slowly snaked his tongue out and licked the head of my penis, which was almost enough to set me off right there and then.

Instead, I tried to conjure up all of the unsexy thoughts I could, wanting this to last. I was thinking that I was making some headway as I thought of my grade six French teacher in her underwear when Brian's mouth closed around my erection, and all such thoughts flew out of my head. Pretty much all thoughts flew out of my head, as a matter of fact. Except for 'Oh my god!', which was repeating itself constantly.

As Brian took more of me into his mouth, I felt the hand not steadily pumping with the same rhythm as his mouth reach up and rub my stomach. It was the most erotic feeling I had ever known. My own hands instinctively fell on Brian's head. Not pressing, but running through his hair and letting him know that he had my complete attention.

Closing my eyes again, I concentrated on the sensations coursing through my body. Love, lust, desire, romance, security, compassion, and a million more. Each welling up from within, and all directed towards and returned by one man. The man I loved.

The man who was currently biting me in a very tender area. Opening my eyes again and looking down at him, I saw him with his lips pulled back to reveal his teeth. Once he was sure I was looking, he went back to gently sucking, matching his movements with those of his hand.

I smiled at him, which earned me a wink. And then he turned his attention back to the task at hand. I shuddered at the roughness of his tongue as it moved slowly and methodically back and forth. His hand released me and they both came to rest on my stomach, brushing back and forth, barely touching my skin.

This was almost too much for me. In case you hadn't noticed, I have a very sensitive stomach. "Brian," I whispered, taking his hands and holding them.

He didn't look up, but I knew by the way that his rhythm changed that he had heard me.

"Brian," I tried again, this time squeezing his hands and pulling up on them. Looking up at me, he released me, his lips sliding up and off of my penis.

Brian rose a little, laying his head on my stomach and kissing my navel again. "Why did you stop me? Was I doing something wrong?"

I laughed a little bit, grabbing him by the chin and forcing him to raise himself up until he was looking me in the eye. There was a glint in his that was familiar, but this one was more caring and loving than mischievous.

"Brian, if you had been doing it any better, or for any longer, we'd be done before we even got started," I whispered. I just had time to notice the smile that was forming on his lips before I kissed him.

Leaning into the kiss, I forced his head down to the mattress and climbed on top of him, holding his hands above his head. Pressing myself against him, I could feel his hardness against my own. I smiled against his lips and reached down, taking it in my hand. I began to gently stroke him through the thin fabric of his boxers.

Brian gasped, inhaling and sucking my tongue into his mouth, where it quickly mingled with his own. I squeezed a little harder, enjoying the effect it had on him. I opened my eyes, watching the expression on Brian's face. I found him looking back at me as his hands came down to run through my hair, settling around my neck and pressing me to him.

I released him and slid my hands under him as we continued to kiss. Grinding my hips against his, and enjoying the moan that it elicited from him, I grinned down at him. Moving my lips to his jawline, I ran my tongue along it before finally settling on his adams apple.

Brian moaned again, but his hands remained around my neck as I moved down his chest, leaving a trail of kisses behind me. When I reached his nipple, I gently grabbed it with my teeth, biting softly. This got another moan from Brian, his back arching a little bit.

Satisfied that I had his undivided attention, I moved my hands back around him and grabbed at the waistband of his boxers. Brian made it a little easier for me by raising his hips off of the bed a little when he felt my hands, and I quickly pulled off his boxers, revealing Brian in all his glory.

As I looked at him, I realised that this was the first time that I had seen Brian naked. The first time we had slept together, that last night in LA, he had... um... finished... before things got truly interesting, and since then, we had managed to avoid full frontal nudity with each other. There had been those two isolated mooning incidents, but nothing more. Looking up at him, I found him smiling back at me, as though waiting for my approval.

I could now personally attest to the fact that Brian Thomas Litrell was absolutely beautiful. Head to toe, inside and out, he was perfect as far as I was concerned. And he was watching me with those gorgeous blue eyes as these thoughts went through my head. His smile beamed down on me, as though he was trying to read my thoughts. I was just as glad that he couldn't. Didn't want him getting a big head.

'Actually,' that depraved part of my mind whispered, bringing a smile to my face. I loved it when that part spoke up, and in my personal opinion, it didn't do it often enough. 'That's exactly what you want.' I continued to smile as I stuck my tongue out and gently ran it over the head of his erection.

Brian sighed, brushing the hair away from my forehead. "Oh Nate," he whispered.

Taking that as a sign of encouragement, I parted my lips and took Brian into my mouth. Since I had never done anything like this before, I was nervous, not knowing exactly what to do. But Brian's silent but clear encouragement was all I needed, and I soon decided to just let myself go.

Wrapping a hand around him as well, I heard Brian sigh, and figured that I had to be doing something right. I took a moment to concentrate on the feel of him. Soft (though hard :P), smooth, beautiful, and somehow right. I can't describe it better than that. Forgive me, but the words just aren't there, even for me.

After a few moments of trial and error, I managed to establish a steady rhythm between my hand and my mouth. Brian had caught on much faster, but I suppose that's what an innate sense of rhythm will do for you. 'Besides,' that wonderfully bawdy part of my head spoke up again. 'You'll just have to practise until you've got it right.' He started to move his hips in time with me.

Judging by the amount of squirming Brian was doing under me, I figured I had it pretty close. Speaking of which, from the sounds Brian was starting to make, I figured I had him pretty close too, and pulled away, looking up at him.

He had his head back on the bed, and his eyes closed. His chest rose and fell with his breath, and I watched as the realisation that I had stopped hit him. Opening his eyes, he looked down at me pleadingly. "Nate," he said softly. "Please."

I smiled and crawled up the bed so that I could kiss him. Sucking his lower lip into my mouth, I gently bit down on it, rubbing my tongue across it rapidly. After a few seconds, I let it go, and moved my mouth to his ear, nibbling on the lobe. "I love you," I whispered, enjoying the feeling of his naked body next to mine.

"I love you too," he whispered back. "More than anything. But please, sweetie," he started with a moan. His hands fell to the small of my back, the backs of his fingers brushing against my skin and down across my cute little butt.

"Then make love to me," I said, nuzzling his neck.

I felt him tense up a little beside me, and his hand stopped moving against my skin. Looking up from his neck, I saw him looking back at me, his eyes a little larger than they normally would be. "What?" he asked softly, trying to back away from me a little and really look me in the eye.

Instead, I hugged onto him a little tighter, kissing the side of his neck again. "You heard me," I whispered directly into his ear. "I want you to make love to me. Right here, right now."

Brian relaxed a little, his hands once again gently roaming over my backside. "Are you sure? I mean, we don't have to. I wasn't expecting it or anything." The concern in his voice was crystal clear. He was afraid that he was pressuring me.

"Brian," I said seriously, raising myself up and propping an elbow under me. I absently ran my hand across his stomach as I spoke. "I'm sure. Trust me. I wasn't expecting it either, and until tonight, I wasn't sure I was ready for it. But I am now," I said quietly. "Because I know you love me," I kissed him. "And I love you," I kissed him again. "And I want you to make love to me." A final, longer and more involved kiss.

Brian lay there, looking at me, as he processed the last few minutes of unexpected information. I continued to stroke his stomach, waiting for him, and lay my head down beside his again, nuzzling. After a couple of seconds, he kissed the side of my head. "I love you."

"Then love me," I whispered.

Rather than answer, Brian pulled me into a passionate kiss, rolling over on top of me and pressing his body against mine. As his tongue became entangled with mine, I ran my hands up his back, hugging him close. At the same time, I wrapped my legs around his waist. Brian moaned a little at the tight embrace, but didn't break the kiss.

We held it for as long as we could, and then we had to come up for air. Instinctively, his lips went for my ear, and mine simultaneously moved to his adams apple. There was a bit of confusion while we both tried to get to our objectives, and then he started to laugh. Seizing the momentary advantage, I caught him off guard, licking at his neck and winning the short battle.

Brian sighed, his hands lightly brushing my side as they moved up and down the length of my body. Kissing back up to his chin, I took his head in my hands and forced him to look at me. "Please."

Brian took one last look in my eyes, searching for any sort of hesitation. Not finding any, he nodded slightly and sat up a little. With my legs wrapped firmly around his waist, we didn't really need to move very much at all.

We kissed again briefly, and then I fell back to the bed as Brian took a deep breath. I could feel him pressing against me, unsure of himself, so I dropped my hand, guiding him. I pulled him closer with my heels, which were crossed behind him, and he got the idea. There was another brief moment of hesitation on his part, and then he finally let himself give in to desire.

He watched me closely as he entered me, and immediately started to withdraw when he saw me wince in pain. I grabbed his hips and squeezed him with my legs to keep him where he was. It hurt a lot, but there was no way I was going to let him quit on me now.

"Don't," I said in a whisper, feeling a tear slip from the corner of my eye and down the side of my face. "Just give me a minute to get used to it."

Brian searched my face, making sure that I was okay, and then just nodded. Leaning forward a little, he carefully wiped the tears out of my eyes. It hurt a little more when he leaned in like that, but the tenderness in his touch made it worth it. Brian stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just looking into my eyes and gently brushing the sides of my face with his fingertips, until the pain started to fade.

Craning my neck, I gave him a quick kiss. "Okay, just go slow," I urged, letting my head fall back to the bed, but keeping his hand in mine.

Brian nodded and started to push again, slowly. He stopped every few seconds, letting me adjust my position, and then he would start again. It took a couple more minutes, but finally he was resting against me, and I could feel him inside of me.

It's hard to describe the feelings I was experiencing. I've never been much of a believer in people needing someone else to complete them. I prefer to think that I'm a whole person all by myself, and that others compliment me. That's what this was like, but it didn't go near far enough. I felt like I was more than myself. Whatever was passing between us, it was bigger than me alone, and bigger than Brian too.

The boundaries of love, trust, and understanding that I had established in my life to that point were completely obliterated in the moment I looked into those incredible blue eyes and knew that he was feeling the same thing. I smiled, and found it mirrored on his face immediately. Leaning forward again, he brought his lips to mine, our feelings passing to one another without the need for words.

This time there was a lot less pain, and a lot more pleasure in his movements. I moaned against his lips a little, and he jerked back, thinking that he was hurting me. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. I just smiled and grabbed him, bringing his face back to mine.

"Don't worry," I smiled. "That was a good one. Now shut up and kiss me."

At my thievery of his line, he grinned and did just that. I lost myself in the moment, repositioning my legs around him and giving myself to him entirely. It was the most open and fragile moment I had ever experienced, but it was also the one moment when I felt the most safe and secure.

Continuing our kiss, Brian began to move his hips, pulling out of me a little, and then settling back against me again. The pain was almost entirely gone now, and the pleasure seemed to be growing exponentially. Brian's lips left mine, settling on the side of my neck as he continued his movements, gradually picking up speed.

Without him there to stifle my moans, I became a little self conscious. Nick and AJ were both only a room away, and while I knew Nick would be discrete, I also knew that AJ would have to make it known if he heard us. Of course, Kevin already knew, and Nick was bound to find out anyway, so I finally decided to let myself go and deal with the consequences later. Besides, Howie was the only one we had to worry about being uncomfortable with it, and he was two rooms and a bathroom away. No sooner had I thought that than Brian's lips found mine again, making the internal monologue moot after all.

Giving in, I moaned loudly against his mouth. I was immediately answered by a moan from Brian. Opening my eyes, I saw him looking at me, a wonderful mixture of love and lust etched in every one of his features. Seeing this, I knew that I wouldn't last much longer.

Reaching up, I grabbed the back of his head and pressed his lips to mine again, sucking on his tongue as I came between us. There was no way to fully stifle the moan that escaped me, but I think we did a pretty good job under the circumstances. We did, after all, have better things on our minds.

Brian's realisation of what had just happened sent him over the edge as well, and with a last shuddering breath, he pushed back in one last time before he came as well. That was another curious sensation that I don't think I'll even make an attempt at describing.

Releasing his pent-up breath, Brian all-but collapsed on top of me, his mouth finding the nape of my neck. Taking his head in my hands, I pulled him up and kissed him. "That was..."

He put his fingers to my lips, silencing me. "Indescribable," he said with a smile. I nodded my agreement. "Thank you," he said softly, kissing me on the nose.

"For what? I got just as much out of it as you did," I smiled up at him. There was a bead of perspiration slipping slowly down his cheek, and I wanted more than anything else to kiss it away. Figuring that nothing could be more intimate than what we had just shared, I gave in to the temptation and did just that.

Brian smiled lovingly and brushed the hair back from my forehead. "I wasn't thanking you for what I got out of it, but for what you put into it," he said, stroking my temple. I noticed that he paid particular attention to the scar located there.

I felt a tear come to my eye at his words. How did he always know the perfect thing to say? "Everything I have is yours," I said. "Always. Heart, body, soul, life." Craning my neck up again, I drew him into another kiss. I remembered what I had told him one time, about how some cultures believed that two souls mingled in a kiss, and somehow found more love and happiness to put into it.

That kiss seemed to last forever, and we were both panting when we finally broke it. "We should get cleaned up," Brian said, still lightly brushing my hair back from my forehead. It was amazing the emotion that he could encompass in a simple touch. "You kinda made a mess."

I laughed. "I believe you had something to do with that."

Brian smiled at me and stood up from the bed. He didn't bother to put any clothes on, so I got to admire him as he walked to the bathroom door. Opening it a crack, he peeked inside, making sure that Nick was nowhere in sight, then he disappeared inside.

A moment later, I heard the water running, and then he was back in the doorway. He closed the door behind him and rejoined me on the bed. Using the damp cloth that he had brought back with him, he managed to get us both cleaned up quickly, and then threw the cloth onto the floor just outside the bathroom door.

"We should probably get some sleep," he said.

I nodded my agreement. "You wanna get the candles?" The flickering light was creating the most incredible shadow patterns across his body, and it was almost mesmerising.

While Brian went around and blew out the candles, I rolled to one side of the bed - Brian's - and pulled down the blankets on the other side. Rolling back, I did the same thing for Brian's side, then slipped my feet under the blankets.

I realise that it would have been easier to just get out of bed, but I never claimed to do things the easy way. Besides, I was comfortable. By the time I had finished and had laid back down, Brian was standing beside the bed, watching me and holding the last lit candle.

I grinned and patted the mattress. The response was immediate. I don't really even recall seeing him move. He was beside the bed one moment, and then in the blink of an eye, he was in it, his arms wrapped around me and the candle was out and sitting on the bedside table. Pulling the blankets up over us, I hugged myself to him and kissed his shoulder.

"I love you Nathaniel," he whispered, kissing my temple.

I looked up at him in surprise. He never used my full first name.

"I know," he said, reading my mind. "But it seems right. When it's just the two of us."

I thought about it and nodded. To the world, he would have to call me Nate, since that's what my 'friends' called me. But when we were alone, I kind of liked the idea of my being Nathaniel. No one had called me that since my grandmother had died, and it had always seemed special to me. "Then Nathaniel it is," I agreed. "And I love you more than you can ever know. I make a living using words to explain things, but I don't even know where to begin with this."

"Then don't even try," he said, holding me. "Just let me read it in your eyes." Leaning over me, he ran his hand over my face, closing my eyes. "And even with them closed," he continued. "I can see it. Here," he kissed my right eyelid. "And here," he kissed the left.

"What did I do to deserve you?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed and laying my head on his chest.

"I don't know," he answered with a laugh. "But I must have done something twice as good to get you. Let's figure it out in the morning, though. You tired me out."

"Deal," I smiled, settling in beside and against him. I fell asleep listening to the beating of his heart.

To Be Continued...

Well there you have it, folks! :) I hope it was worth the wait. A few of you know how much I was not looking forward to writing part 67, but I thought it was time. I just hope it turned out all right. :)

Not sure when the next one is going to be finished, though it shouldn't be too long. I have it sorta outlined, though my outlines tend to go out the window as soon as I actually start writing. ;)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one, and feel free to email me with any questions or comments at dls_stories@hotmail.com

Thanks for reading!

~D~