Brian and Justin

Angel's Wings (Part 13) Written by JM

--- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write? Hmmm, it's about celebrities... yeah, that sounds good. Two very moral celebrities too... ooh yeah, that makes it better. Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual personal lives. Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE WAY! Is that it? I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have your parents permission. Parental Guidance is suggested. Need some popcorn? Maybe a soda? Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is Golden'! Okay, let's move on to to the previews... ---

--- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back! That's right and I thought I could stay away. No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood. I've just got to write. Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in the song of Brian and Justin's lives. Please remember that these stories are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and Justin' and 'Just Beginning'. This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the attention in the world. If you don't know by now, send all comments to: catsfan1@hotmail.com Thank you very much! Enjoy the show... ---

--- Feature Presentation: Angel's Wings, Rated NC-17 ---

It was a little after noon, it was his birthday, he had been up since seven in the morning, he had traveled over a thousand miles from Orlando to Atlanta, he had missed the opportunity to get a cup of coffee, he barely got a chance to kiss his husband goodbye that morning, he spent all day doing interviews, and it was his birthday. Yes, it was his birthday. At twenty-six, he was trying to remember why he did all of this? Why did he work on his birthdays and miss the chance just to relax and enjoy his life?

He knew why. It was his job, something, outside of the hectic schedule and long hours, he enjoyed more than many parts of his life. And he knew he had time to prepare for this tour. He had more days off than expected between rehearsals and interviews and shooting another video for the album. But it was all business most of the time. He wanted to spend as much time with his family as possible and even with them on the first few dates of the tour with him, holding him, kissing him, keeping him happy, it was still all business.

Brian Thomas Littrell was now twenty-six and besides the business, he could't be more happier. At least, not in his mind. He climbed up the steps of his tour bus, a water bottle in one hand and a bag from Dunkin' Donuts in the other. He whistled a tune he had composed for his husband, Justin, with a cheeky smile on his face. He was more than exhausted but faked happiness because it was his birthday. He was thankful that all of the guys agreed to get separate tour buses for this tour and even more thrilled that his label, Jive Records, set his tour bus up perfectly for a family environment. He stopped for a moment, down his lonely walk through the bus, to glance through the windows. He eyed his friend AJ McLean argue quietly with his estranged wife outside of AJ's bus. He frowned losely, watching the way the two interacted like a ex-lovers when he knew they put on the best Broadway show for the others. 'Why do they have to lie? I mean, AJ told me and Justin and I know Amanda's probably told Nikki and the girls. Why not tell everyone? Why lie like this?' Brian wondered, his thoughts unsettled while glaring at the couple.

"Aye yo Brian, make sure your peoples are on the bus because we're going to roll over to the venue to get in some rehearsals." Marc, Brian's personal bodyguard, hollered from the top of the steps. Brian startled a little before glancing over his shoulder, eyeing Marc fuzzily. "They should be here Marc, trust me." Brian replied, his voice dropping slimly with a low country accent. Marc shrugged, turning to step off the bus for a moment. Brian groaned lowly and shook his head. 'Never stay still for two minutes. We've always gotta move, be on the go. Damn, can't I enjoy my birthday in one spot?' Brian gripped, beginning his trek through the bus again.

Brian knew not to complain, not for any particular reason. After all, it was only the second real date of the tour. He was grateful just to have Justin and Angel on tour with him, especially on his birthday. That was a blessing by itself. Then, to be in Atlanta, the place he fell in love with his husband, on his birthday? That was too perfect. Almost too perfect. Brian wasn't going to be able to sit around and take in the city with Justin until later. 'And even then, it might be too late.' he told himself as he passed through the area where the bunks where.

Brian entered the longue of the room with a shaky smile, sighing as he looked around. He spotted his son planted in the middle of the floor with a few toys surrounding him, but Angel played with no of them. His eyes were focused on the television screen where Elmo listed off numbers happily. He grinned at the dream-like smile on Angel's face as his diamond-like blue eyes gazed at the screen. It was too beautiful for Brian not to stare at like he was in a fanasty of the perfect life he always wanted as a child.

"There's my birthday baby." he heard Justin's smooth voice chime as Justin's arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. As soon as he felt Justin's arms wrapped around his neck and Justin's chest to his side, Brian felt like he was falling, but he wasn't. He felt like he was dreaming, but he wasn't. He felt free and fullfilled and he was. Sure as the rain that fell from the sky on his darkest day and the sun that gleamed highly as his best days, Brian knew it all didn't matter because he had Justin.

"Tired yet Rocky?" Justin asked, skirting his fingers through Brian's new shortly-cut hair. He kissed the top of Brian's head, taking in a breath of the hair that was now a lighter shade of honey-blonde with a few lighter blonde streaks running throughout it. "Mmm hmmm." Brian hummed, laying his water bottle down on a nearby chair. "Doughnuts?" Brian offered, holding up the bag. Justin grinned and pulled his arms from around Brian's neck. He cupped his hands around Brian's ear, his eyes blazing with desire. "I'd prefer to eat another hole." Justin whispered cheekily. Brian blushed heavily, giving Justin a little shove. "You're so crude." Brian admonished, dropping the bag of doughnuts into next to his water bottle. He began to walk over to Angel but he felt Justin's arms hook around his waist and pull him back and the sounds and sensations of the bus moving left Brian trapped in Justin's arms. "I'm so crude for you." Justin whispered into Brian's ear, smiling against the lobe. Brian lifted his hand back and ran his hand over Justin's soft buzz-cut, sighing contently. "Promise me that you won't let me get too worked up today so I can enjoy my birthday." Brian requested, interlacing his fingers with Justin's. "I promise baby." Justin agreed, kissing Brian's chiseled cheek before gliding his pouty red lips toward Brian's mouth. Brian tilted his head and sunk into that kiss, looking forward to a more relaxed birthday with Justin and Angel.

"Nick, watch your footing with that last move. Howie, you were three seconds behind everyone else on the breakdown. My God Kevin, were you doing the choreography to this song or one of Barney's songs? AJ, no one could hear you singing! Brian, I don't care if it is your birthday, sop making those annoying little gestures toward Justin." Fatima Robinson called out with a snappy voice, one that left all of the Backstreet Boys unsettled and slightly angered. "I'm only fucking up because of Howie." Nick shrugged, toweling off his face. Howie took a quick swig of his water bottle, eyeing Nick with peering eyes. "You're fucking up because you are justa big fuck up. Get your shit right or sit down for the performance tonight." AJ grumbled at Nick, jerking off his headset and stomping to one side of the stage. "Boy, I'm glad this is a closed set rehearsal. I bet the reporters would love to hear the words ya'll choose to use so freely." Kevin commented, slinking his fingers through his black mane. "Fuck off." AJ grumbled, throwing a hand up for emphasis.

Brian smiled innocently, waving to Justin from his position on the stage. Justin winked at Brian, settling into his seat in the stadium. He sighed happily, taking a glance to his left where Howie's girlfriend, Danay sat, before looking past her to see Denise McLean whispering quietly with Nikki. 'Man, having both Innosense and Amanda billed on the same tour? The history between the girls and the Backstreet Boys was enough. Now the fans were going to decide who they wanted more? Amanda or Innosense? Glad *NSYNC isn't touring with the guys anymore.' Justin thought to himself, crossing his arms and slouching in his seat.

"Hey J, Brian's trying to get your attention." Danay whispered to Justin, shaking him from his thoughts. Justin glanced back to the stage where Brian was seated, his legs dangling off the edge. Justin nibbled his lower lip, watching the way Brian smiled at him while twisting the cap back and forth on his water bottle. Justin winked at him again, sitting up in his seat to admire Brian, the sleek sweat still damp on his face, the clothes he wore baggy and comfortable yet too attractive to Justin, that faint glimmer in his pearly-blue eyes that lifted Justin into a new world of love. Justin fiddled with the backstage pass dangling around his neck, giggling at the way Brian puckered his lips toward him. "I love you." Brian said directly into his headset microphone, causing a heavy shade of blush to creep into Justin's cheeks. Before Justin could offer up a reply, he heard Fatima's voice called out, "I love you too B-Rok, now get your ass up here and practice this routine." Justin giggled quietly while watching Brian sigh and lay his water bottle on the edge of the stage, standing to return to his rehearsal. "Hey!" Justin called out, leaning forward in his seat. Brian immediately glanced over his shoulder while the others took minutes staring at Justin. Justin ignored the other looks and expressions and concentrated fully on Brian's angelic, smooth, chiseled face. "I love you too." he said meekily, blushing when seeing the glow in Brian's eyes. Brian chuckled and blew his husband a quiet kiss, a breath of cool air that floated through the dense air directly to Justin to send a shiver up Justin's spine.

"Man, can we please get back to rehearsing before they start that lovey-dovey crap and I get so nauseated that I hurl what I had for breakfast last week all over this damn stage." AJ moaned, covering his eyes with a hand while wrinkling his brow. "Hurl? AJ, this isn't Wayne's World. The proper word is regurgitate." Nick corrected him teasingly. AJ immediately dropped his hand with a dense scowl on his face that offered up his harsh, unspoken words. "Shut the fuck up Nick Chasez." AJ hissed, balling his hands into mighty fists while narrowing his large brown eyes. He was serious. He was angry. Something inside of him wasn't tolerating any lip and Nick was best at giving it.

Brian snickered airily at the two. He brushed his fingers through his hair while walking behind AJ. "What's wrong AJ? You don't want me to say how much I love my JuJu Bean and how he makes my tummy fill up with a million butterflies and his touch makes me feel like a little white kitten walking on a puffy, cute pink cloud with a sugary-sweet smile on my face?" Brian grinned, patting AJ's shoulder as he passed by him. AJ mumured under his breath, never letting his words get too loud around Brian. "Eww! That is so sick Brian, stop it." Howie whined while sitting on one of the ground speakers. "That really is demented Rok." Nick agreed, shagging his hair with his fingers. Brian shrugged helplessly, giving Justin a quick glance, watching his cheeks flush and an undersized smirk cross his blushing red lips.

The sounds of AJ kicking a water bottle across the stage startled only some while Nick and Kevin eyed him with crossed arms and lowered brows. It was so easy for him to get attention, so easy for him to show his obvious troubles, show easy for him to be an asshole just because. And with AJ, it was always just because. "All right, it's bovious that AJ needs a break, so let's just call it a day guys. If you mess up tonight, just blame it on AJ." Fatima announced, throwing her hands up to show her lost hope in the rehearsal.

Howie sighed restlessly, turning his attention to AJ as AJ nimbly slid his hands into his back pockets. "Why not blame it on me. I'm always at fault for something being fucked up." AJ sighed out, lowering his eyes shamefully.

The others could only bare their care with stares that left hollow beams of unsureness in the air that AJ breathed. "Uh, AJ..." Howie began, reaching his hand out toward his friend. "Save it Howard, I've heard all the bullshit words of encouragment that I can take." AJ grumbled, stomping toward the backstage area, never looking back to see his mother stand to chase after him or to see Brian chew his lip with concern for him or to watch the way Danay had to embrace Howie to comfort him for being unable to help his friend. He didn't need to see any of it or feel their pity. He just needed to see one sign of concern from Amanda, and that was a sight too far away to understand.

Brian didn't care about the rehearsal ending early or the way AJ was acting or the way everyone tried to convince him to go to the cafeteria for a birthday lunch. Seated on the couch in the lounge on his bus with Justin sitting next to him, Justin's legs pulled up indian-style with an endearing glow circling his indigo eyes, his own hand resting in Justin's palm in Justin's lap, everything seemed to be about them. Nothing else seemed to matter.

This is what he loved about his birthday, those moments where Justin pushed everyone away and concerntrated solely on Brian. Justin had turned off his cell phone, made sure Angel was sleeping soundly in one of the bunks, shipped Lea away to hang with Innosense; he had done everything. Brian loved that about Justin. He knew Justin knew that Brian's favorite birthdays were the ones where they just sat together, loving each other with words and stolen sweet kisses that left butterflies blooming in Brian's stomach.

Brian opened his mouth without hesitance and swallowed a fork-full of cheesecake that Justin fed to him. Brian mashed the sugary substance around his mouth and moaned happily. Justin giggled quietly, dipping the fork back into the plate of dessert, lowering his lids to admire Brian. "You're such a beautiful man." Justin whispered, lifting the fork from the plate. Brian swallowed quickly, wanting to tell Justin how gorgeous he was, wanting to comment on the way Justin's small simples appeared when he smiled and the way he set everything at ease for Brian when he saw those almost unnoticable creases. "You too." he managed to get out with a few more portions of the cake in his mouth. Justin giggled again and lowered the fork back down, scraping it along the plate while waiting for Brian to swallow again.

"Did you talk to Britney this morning?" Brian asked, lacing his fingers with Justin's. Justin nodded, lifting the fork to offer his husband another piece. Brian grinned deviously before flicking out his tongue, brushing it along the dripping strawberry topping. Justin shook his head with a small laugh, pushing the fork closer to Brian's puckered pink lips. "She sounded fine, but I know she's still shaken up about the breakup. She says she's trying to just force herself into her music and forget about it for a few days." Justin explained as Brian opened his mouth for the food. Brian nodded while smacking his lips with a delicious grin in his light blue eyes.

"And then what?" Brian asked, all of the cheesecake mashed to one side of his mouth as he tried to speak. Justin sighed, lowering the fork while lowering his eyes. In his mind, it wasn't that easy to explain. He could repeat the words that Britney had told him, but in his heart, he knew Britney was losing all of her strength and all of her happiness, all at once. "She says that by the time Joey crosses her mind again, she'll be so wrapped up in shooting her movie, doing promotions for Pepsi, and finishing up the album that she won't even have time to think about what Joey meant to her." Justin responded lowly, the muscles in his jaw flexing after the words had left his lips. Brian pet those muscles with his fingertips, tracing their smooth contour with kindness. "She's stronger than she used to be. She'll make it, you know she will." Brian whispered, brushing his fingers over Justin's bottom lip. Justin smiled against those fingers, the gentle caress more than just comfort for him.

Brian dropped his hand from Justin's face and let it fall to Justin's thigh, rubbing it patiently while Justin fiddled with the fork in the cheesecake. Justin chewed his lower lip before lifting his eyes to look into Brian's. There was the glow again, that sparkle of love that kept him believing in so much. That reflective image of boundless love crystalized in those soft blue eyes caused Justin to sigh contentedly and lead the scoop of cheesecake to Brian's lips in a slow, cautious motion. He felt Brian's hand lift from his thigh. Brian wrapped his fingers around Justin's wrist, holding it still, the fork fidgeting slightly. Brian smiled toward Justin before pulling Justin's hand closer to his mouth until the strawberry topping glazed against his lips, opening his mouth to receive the sweet treasure resting upon the fork. Justin grinned crookedly as he pulled back, retracting the fork from between Brian's lips while Brian moaned with a purring satisfaction.

"How'd you do it babe?" Justin questioned while scraping up some more of the cheesecake. Brian arched an eyebrow, crinkling his blue eyes. "Do what?" Brian asked curiously, sitting back some to eye Justin. Justin felt a frown tug at the corners of his mouth. He didn't really want to ask the question, but in all that he had seen, all that he had experienced, he neve wanted to hold a question inside when he knew Brian could give him a truthful reply. "How did you stay in love with me after you knew what I did with JC?" Justin finally asked, lowering his eyes to watch the cheesecake. He felt Brian's hand encircle his wrist again, this time pulling it down until the fork rested in the plate again. Justin glanced up at Brian, a fuzzy glare that pushed a grimace onto Brian's face. "How did you stay in love with me after I hit you?" Brian asked him in a lowered voice still dripping with his rusty country accent.

Justin lost his words. He wasn't expecting that question and it had been so long since he questioned himself about it. How did he? How did forgiveness come to him in one night, in one moment? Not weakness. Not a fear of being alone. It was just... love.

Justin felt Brian scoot closer to him, releasing his wrist and returning his hand to Justin's thigh, massaging his skin through the material of Justin's black flight pants. Justin licked his lips nervously, batting his eyes while holding a stare with Brian. "The same way you were able to get past what happened and still love me like you always have is the same way I was able to get past what happened between you two." Brian whispered, his lips fanning his breath against Justin's cheek. "But it was different Brian. The situations weren't similiar." Justin disagreed quickly, still faulting himself, still trying to remind himself that he crossed a broader line than Brian did. "You're right, it was different. I never had to see you lying in a bed wrapped in JC's arms, but you had to see me hit you and you had to watch me walk into Nick's room and slam the door on you. I had it easy, but I still felt as much pain as you did." Brian responded, raising his voice slightly, but with care. Justin shook his head, glancing downward. "No... no, I did so much more. I kissed another man, more than once. I slept in his bed, let him touch me... I let him kiss and touch the body that belongs to you. You only hit me." Justin babbled, his face scrunching up. "And I did the same with Nick in that hotel room. I was aroused by him, I let him touch and kiss me... but it doesn't matter the extent of what we do, just how much it hurts the other. You can't tell me it didn't hurt to know I did that to you." Brian remarked, carefully rubbing Justin's chest and brushing his thumb over the back of Justin's hand.

Justin sighed, tilting his head and looking at Brian again. "So how did you stay in love with me?" Justin wondered. Brian smiled halfheartedly, placing a quick kiss on the tip of Justin's nose. "JuJu, I can't fall out of love with you. It's impossible. I couldn't fathom something like that happening. Even if I don't have you, my heart will always have what you are to me." Brian said, his smile broadening. Justin nodded, leaning toward Brian. "Yep, I can't fight it anymore. Brian Thomas Littrell is my soulmate." Justin smirked, nuzzling his nose against Brian's. Their lips met briefly, a kiss of a angels. "Mmm, you've got that right JuJu Bean. There's no way I can stop loving you." Brian replied, laying another kiss on Justin's lips.

Justin pulled away from Brian, lowering the plate of cheesecake to the floor. He sucked in his lower lip, shyly unlocking his fingers from Brian's, letting his hand snake across Brian's crotch and up his shirt, brushing his thumb across Brian's navel while his fingers slid into the waistband of Brian's pants. "This is the city we fell in love, Rocky." Justin reminded him, his fingers expertly unsnapping the top button of Brian's jeans. Brian raised his brow curiously as Justin unzipped his jeans. "And the city where you first made love to me." Justin added with a low whisper, unfolding his legs, spreading them. He used his other hand to lift the bottom of his shirt and reveal to Brian his apparent arousal. Brian gasped softly as Justin's fingers rubbed over his growing erection through the material of Brian's black briefs. "I just wish we could go out... maybe find that hotel where you kissed me for the first time... and touched me for the first time... and made me cum for the first time..." Justin whispered, giving Brian's hardon a little squeeze. Brian growled quietly, dropping his own hand to Justin's crotch, groping Justin's cock through Justin's pants. "I'm sorry we can't. We don't even have time to." Brian replied, his breathing accelerating. Justin leaned closer to Brian, his eyes smoldering with a fire that burned Brian's skin. "What do we have time to do?" Justin asked, his voice husky. Brian smiled helplessly. "This..." he replied, pushing Justin back on the couch while swiftly straddling him, crushing their lower bodies together and bringing aching moans from deep inside of their bodies.

"Daddy? Dad?" Angel's soft voice called out as he slowly pushed open the door to the living room. Brian ducked his head with a sigh, leaving a damp kiss on Justin's neck. Justin giggled softly, rubbing his hands across Brian's back as Angel pushed the door open fully and stumbled into the room, rubbing the sleepiness from his baby blue eyes.

Brian turned his head to the side, smiling at his son as Angel looked at him questionably. "Did you have a bad dream little guy?" Brian asked, sliding his hand from between their bodies and brushing it over Angel's soft blonde hair. Angel nodded sadly, frowning at his father. Brian exhaled heavily, forcing himself to sit up on Justin, his clothing in a rumpled, barely-there state. Justin slid from under Brian, adjusting his attire as he tried to sit up on the couch. "Okay, come here Timber." Brian whispered, opening his arms to Angel. Angel struggled to climb onto the couch with his parents. Justin reached below them to zip up Brian's jeans and giggled softly. Brian shook his head with a meek grin, rocking Angel in his arms as Angel snuggled to his chest. "I'll tend to Lil' Littrell later on, Bri." Justin promised his husband, cuddling up to him. Brian relaxed an arm around Justin's shoulders, nodding patiently as Angel began to doze off in his arms.

"Okay, okay, let's get this soundcheck started, shall we?" AJ called out into his microphone, trying to smile now that a few members of the press roaming around backstage and a few scattered fans were in the arena. He glanced around as technicians set up equipment and roadies set up the band's instruments. "Uhm, first... Amanda, you're up first." AJ announced, glancing over his shoulder as Amanda strolled toward the front of the stage with two male dancers following her. AJ smiled grandly at her, a false smile that left her sick. "All right, do your thing sweetie." AJ beamed, puckering his lips for her as she passed. Amanda rolled her eyes immediately, adjusting her tight shirt while stopping at the front of the stage. AJ grumbled briefly, curving his upper lip toward her before walking toward the back of the stage, finding a seat on a speaker.

Amanda cleared her throat, glancing back at her dancers with a simple grin. "Okay guys, we're doing 'Quater Past Three' first." Amanda informed them, raising hr microphone so the sound technicians could hear her. The dancers nodded and Amanda sighed, turning to face the stage again. The slow-rhythm of a guitar with an added bass trickled into the arena and Amanda closed her eyes, focusing on the song and not the marriage she knew was crumbling day-by-day.

It's a quater past three

Oh, silly me

I should be sleep

But I knew you'd try to creep

Playin' tricks on me

Can't believe what my eyes see

Amanda threw her hair back while dancing to the beginning instrumental, smiling as the song filled the arena. She took a deep breath and turned, strutting until she was behind her dancers. Her eyes found AJ, mocking her with foolish faces, faces that turned her stomach and left her unwilling to find a note to sing, but she had to. She had to sing and she had to perform or her fight would be useless, meaningless.

Hey baby, what are you doing up so late?

Come on now baby, say what you gotta say

So I can correct the lies you're about to tell me

Cause you know you're about to give hell to me

I wish your stories were a little more original

Didn't you tell me this last time I caught you so well?

You're the best actor that I've seen

Cause you think that I can't see you when you creep

First you wait until I sleep

Then you call her up and grab your keys

Next you creep downstairs and head for the door

But you don't realize that I've got you caught

Amanda danced furiously to the beat, turning once again, just briefly, to look behind her. There he was again, laughing and making fun of her. He mocked her only to stop her. And she did stop. She refused to dance anymore. She refused to belt out the ad-libs of the hook as the recorded vocals pumped through the arena. She wouldn't move when one of her dancers shook her and tried to pull her back into the routine she had worked she hard at perfected with Fatima. She only stood there, her bright blue eyes eyes burning with frustrated tears, staring at the man that once applauded her voice and her dancing and everything that she was.

The music began to fade from the speakers and eyes flocked to Amanda with confusion. AJ stopped his actions, his eyes focusing on Amanda in a confused manner. "That's enough." she said sternly, her words meant for more than just her dancers and the sound technician. They were meant for AJ. They were her declaration, her call for an ending to what she thought was only a brief interlude in her love for him. And her eyes stayed focused on AJ, fuzzy with stifling tears that expressed her dissatisfactionwith her estranged husband. All of it, with just the right dosage, was enough to shut AJ up. That's all Amanda needed to see before she walked off the stage, leaving behind her chance for a soundcheck and a chance for AJ to apologize.

Seated with her head in her hands, hre mind on anything but her happiness, Amanda felt trapped in a circle of constant pitty. Right now, she didn't want to hear Denise McLean assure her that her marriage would last or listen to Kevin's friendly advice or even hear Danay tell a foolish joke to make her laugh.

Amanda knew that sometimes the unexpected meant the better than the expected, but feeling a soft hand on her shoulder and a body sit next to her wasn't unexpected. When her azure eyes lifted slowly, the unexpected became Jenny and Amanda shivered for a moment. "So... do we want to talk about your problems with AJ or why men suck?" Jenny wondered, brushing a her hand over Amanda's silky black hair. Amanda arched an eyebrow, batting back tears with incessant lashes. "Men suck?" she questioned lowly, her face twisted with confusion. Jenny can do nothing more than giggle at her. With her laughing blue eyes rolling and a crooked smile on her face, Jenny tosses her hair back and sighs. "Yes, men suck. Well, my ex-boyfriend sucks, I don't know about your husband." Jenny grins, nudging Amanda with her elbow, hoping to pull out something other than a frown on Amanda's face. "You and Trace broke up?" Amanda asks, her voice still low and riddled with confusion. Jenny nodded slowly, shrugging her shoulders. It wasn't yesterday, but the pain still hurt like it was. Still, what could she do? "He broke up with me the day before Valentine's Day, that bastard." Jenny said shortly, her voice never lowering to a dulled state. Amanda chewed on her lower lip, lowering her eyes and twiddling her thumbs nervously. "Me and AJ separated on Valentine's Day." Amanda whispered, keeping her eyes low.

The pale blush did not have a chance to rise in Amanda's cheeks before she swiftly brought a hand up and over Jenny's mouth, muffling her gasp of surprise. She knew to expect it and for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she even told Jenny. This was Jenny. Since when we Jenny and Amanda friends? Since when had they spoke more than five words to each other at a time? What gave Amanda the audacity to devulge her entire love life right now to this woman? It could've been the way Jenny nodded when feeling the hand over her mouth, knowing not to say too much or to speak too loudly. "I'm sorry to hear that... surprised, but sorry." Jenny said softly as Amanda lowered her hand. Amanda exhaled through barely parted lips, hiding her eyes cautiously. "Don't be sorry because right about now, I'm not." Amanda hissed.

Jenny cleared her throat softly, adjusting the bracelet around her right wrist. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jenny asked. Amanda shook her head quickly. She had nothing left to say about him or her marriage. It was all gone in her mind. She was just waiting for the tension to fizzle out. "Because talking about it makes us all feel better. I know it made me feel better when I talked to Mandy about me and Trace." Jenny added, glancing at Amanda. That expression was enough for Jenny to quit pushing. "Mandy's good at that. She can always make you feel better about breaking up or having a fight with someone." Amanda agreed, scratching her shoulder with subtle nervousness.

Jenny nudged Amanda, giggling quietly. "You know, I'm supposed to envy you. I'm supposed to be mad that you were in Innosense first, so of course you're going to get most of the love from the girls and the fans. I'm supposed to be jealous because you've got a husband and a son and are still our there making music. But really... I know you're just like me." Jenny snickered. Amanda nodded, tilting her head to the side. "We can both say we're better off without our men, but deep down, I know we both miss them." Jenny sighed out with her laughter. Amanda nodded again. She couldn't deny that. "You're right... men suck." Amanda stated, laughing sweetly. Jenny joined her in the giggle, sliding an arm around Amanda's shoulders. "At least we're not in love with JC like Nikki is. Otherwise, we'd really have a guy who sucks." Jenny added, snorting. Amanda fell into a loud, uncontrollable laughter, her mind on any and everything that could make her happy. Right then and there, it was Jenny, and Amanda couldn't envy Jenny more for being brighter about her loss.

'Was this walkway always this long?' Justin contemplates as he walks somewhat quickly down the hallway, Marc walking tall next to him and Denise McLean and a few other reps following closely behind. Justin lifts his eyes to gaze around the technicians, roadies, and press agents they pass, smiling weakly for each. The feel of Angel's small hands grabbing onto his shirt distracts him mildly. Justin didn't know what made him think he could carry Angel all the way down the walkway in his arms, but he dealt with it as he did with most things. As long as Angel didn't pull too hard on his shirt, Justin could stand to carry his nearly two-year-old son down the walkway.

"Oh my God, he's really here. And look, it's his son too." a teenage girl coos loudly, pointing directly at Justin and Angel, quickly elbowing her friends to grab their attention. "Oh shit... I mean, damn..." another gasped, covering her mouth quickly. "Don't curse in front of his son stupid." the first warned her. Justin couldn't help but giggle, his dimples smoothing at the corners of his mouth as a grin captured his red lips and his eyes lowered with happiness. "I just can't believe he's here." the second gushed as the small group of girls began to follow the entourage down the hall, the first of them snapping quick pictures of Justin and Angel. Justin shook his head with small laughs, taking subtle looks at the girls as they began to call for him and reach out toward him. "Ladies, please back up and return to your position down the hall. This area isn't for you." Marc gruffed, trying to keep their wandering hands from reaching Justin or Angel. Justin licked his lips slyly and then winked at the girls. "Sorry ladies, please go back." Denise spoke up, catching up to Justin and thwarted any attempt by the girls to get closer to them. Justin shrugged as the girls continued to call for him. "Please just pose for a picture with us." the first called out to Justin. "Sorry girls, maybe when I come back out. Angel's gotta go see his Dad." Justin said to the girls as security began to create a wall to keep the girls back as Marc, Denise, Angel, and Justin ducked down another hallway, heading for a place that no fan could step into.

Just a knock, loud and resounding, but just a knock was all that was needed to grant access into a room where no press, no fans, no outsiders could slip into. A hidden reality for the Backstreet Boys was all revealed with the right knock.

"You know Justin, you should think about getting Angel a backstage pass too. What if he decides to walk around by himself? The guards will probably haul him off for walking around backstage without a pass." Marc remarked to Justin as he, Justin, Angel, and Denise gained access into the Backstreet Boys dressing room, guards checking their backstage passes as they entered. Justin rolled his eyes promptly, the sounds of No Doubt's 'Magic's In The Makeup,' Nick and AJ arguing over a video game, casual conversations between Howie and his cell phone, and laughter circling through the room. "I doubt Bastian's going to be taking any solo trips anywhere around here Marc." Justin replied as he strolled over to one of the couches, plopping down before sitting Angel next to him.

"Oh, you're here." Nick noted sarcatsically, sprawled across the floor with a fuzzy grin. Justin sighed and nodded, kicking Nick's foot with the toe of his shoe. "Thanks for the warm welcome." Justin grumbled, glancing around the room quickly. "Don't mind Nick, Justin. It's the asshole in him." AJ gleamed, turning to his side to greet Justin with a hefty grin. "It's in all of us." Justin exhaled, trying to part a smile for AJ, but he couldn't. He couldn't smile at AJ or laugh at Nick's comment because neither of them appealed to him at the moment. His wondering eyes were only looking for one person and his laughter would only resound for one voice, but he didn't want to tell anyone or make it too obvious that he wanted to see his husband right then and there.

Can you tell I'm faking it?

But I want to be myself

A counterfeit disposition

Can't be good for my health

So many different faces

Depending on the different phases

My personality changes

I'm a chameleon

There's more than one dimension

I can fool you and attract attention

Camouflage my nature

Let me demonstrate...

Make's all off

Who am I?

The magic's in the make up

(The magic's in the make up)

Who am I?

"Hmmm, you look like you're looking for someone important." Brian hummed into Justin's ear, slipping his arms around Justin from behind the couch. Justin smiled sweelty, slouching into Brian's embrace as Brian kissed the top of his head. "Just the birthday boy." Justin replied as he felt a softer kiss laid on his cheek. "Mmm, it is still my birthday, huh?" Brian questioned, dragging his lips from Justin's cheek to his nose, using a hand to turn Justin's head. Justin smirked quickly as Brian's thin lips drew close to his. "Uh huh, all day long." Justin whispered before feeling Brian's cool lips running over his, capturing his lips for a smooth kiss.

Justin ran his fingers over the shortly-cut blonde hair on his husband's hand, feeling Brian's tongue flick over his teeth as Brian began to pull away from the kiss. Justin groaned softly, not wanting to lose those sweet, gentle lips. He wanted to tuck Brian away in his heart and carry him around everywhere, but he knew he couldn't. He could feel some stares from the others and he just knew that his son was watching. "Mmph, you're a good kisser." Justin whispered, thinking of the way Brian's lips aalways moved like candle wax, slow, hot, wet, and thick. They always melted away Justin's anger and made his lust burn constantly. "That's a nice compliment." Brian chimed, laying a quick kiss on the tip of Justin's nose.

Justin's hand trailed from the back of Brian's head, down his neck and to his back. "Come with me." Justin whispered, keeping Brian's face close to his own. "Come with you where?" Brian wondered, trying to pull away some. Justin grinned unevenly, his world being sucked into those soft blue eyes. They were jewels to stare at and long for and Justin did, he longed for those eyes and the priceless love they possesed. "It's a little surprise for you baby." Justin replied, nudging Brian's nose with his own. Brian raised his brow, more than suspicious of his husband's mysteriousness.

Justin crawled off the couch and lifted Angel back into his arms. Brian stood straight, folding his arms with more concern. "Angel's going too?" he asked, watching as Justin crept from in front of the couch until he was by Brian's side. "Yep." Justin smirked. His smirk only lessened the flutters ringing in Brian's mind. He felt Justin skirt an arm around his waist, pulling him close and walking him toward the door. He didn't feel too comfortable with the idea of leaving the dressing room, especially when dinner was to be served in the cafeteria soon and then preparations would begin for the show to start. But Brian had no choice and that was obvious when Marc followed the three out of the dressing room, escorting them down that long hall. "Are we going somewhere in the venue?" Brian asked, glancing around to Marc and Justin for a response. Marc grinned slyly, raising his brow to Brian. Justin giggled quietly, interlocking his fingers with Brian's. "Remember when I said I wish we could go out?" Justin asked with a lively smile lighting his lips. Brian barely nodded, peering at Justin with even more suspicion. "Well, we're going out." Justin said nonchalantly, giving Brian's hand a tighter squeeze and leaving his husband in a greater state of fear.

"Zaxby's?" Brian questioned as he stepped out of the backseat of the black SUV he and his family rode in. Justin followed him out, a petite smile on his lips. He slipped a North Carolina Tar Heels hat on Brian's head backwards and grinned. "I didn't want us to go to Applebee's because that's our special place and since Marc and Bastian are here with us, I figured it wouldn't be right." Justin explained. Brian took a glance around the parking lot of the growingly popular establishment. "I wanted to start a new tradition between me, you, and Angel in our city of love." Justin added, ducking back into the SUV to get his son. "We could've let Lea take care of Timber and then Marc could've escorted me and you to Applebee's, Bean." Brian noted, slipping a hand into Justin's back pocket, pulling him close. Justin shook his head, lowering Angel to the ground so that he could walk. "Our restaurant is too far away from this venue, babe. Plus, I wanted our son to have a part in his father's birthday since he won't be able to later on." Justin grinned, winking at Brian. Brian raised his brow again, grabbing a hold of Angel's hand to assist him as they all walked toward the entrance to the Southern restaurant.

Brian looked around quickly, his soft blue eyes taking in the atmosphere of the establishment as Angel tried to walk off in another direction. "Hold on there partner." Brian said with his thick country accent. He could hear Angel's soft whines, his son seeking an adventure within the dining facility. "Hey, why don't you take Angel and Marc and find a seat and I'll go order the food, okay?" Justin suggested, releasing Brian's hand. Brian nodded, chewed on his lower lip while taking quick glances around. There weren't too many people within the area and he spotted a large booth in the corner of one room. "Marc, what do you want?" Justin asked as Marc took a step forward, watching to where Brian pointed to. "Wings, hot wings, with bleu cheese." Marc replied quickly. He guided Brian and Angel toward the other room. "Babe?" Justin called out uietly, catching Brian's eyes as Brian glanced over his shoulder. "Doesn't matter. I'm eating off of you." Brian shrugged out, winking at his husband. "Mmm, sounds kinky." Justin giggled, heading in the opposite direction.

Justin sighed quietly while looking up at the menu, the bustling workers never giving him a second look as they prepared food and took orders from the drive-thru. He scratched his somewhat soft buzz-cut hair, squinting his eyes as he read over the menu. "Can I help you sir?" a girl's voice interrupts his scrutinizing. Justin lowered his aquamarine eyes slowly, breaking a smile for the girl. He read her nametag quickly, smiling when he saw the word 'Candy.' "Yeah, Candy, I..." his words were short-lived. "Oh, my name's not Candy. I'm just wearing her nametag today. My name's Katie." she corrected him politely, scrunching up her nose and letting a smooth smile form over her lips. Justin couldn't help but giggle and then flash that smile, that smile that covered teen magazines and MTV at least three times a day and that grin that sometimes made Brian want to kiss him until he couldn't breath and for some obvious reason, that was all he needed to do for Katie to blink twice and gasp loud and quickly.

He was scared. He didn't want her to scream out or tell the whole staff that Justin Littrell was right there in front of her, nibbling his lower lip while his dancing blue eyes blushed. "You're him." she managed to squeek out lowly and he managed to nod for her, still standing in fear. She smiled widely. "And is he..." she let her words trail off, glancing to either side of her. Her co-workers were still wrapped up in their rush of work. "Is he here too?" she asked lowly, leaning on the counter to get closer to him. Justin licked his lips quickly before smiling. "Yep." he said briefly, but cutely. She sighed dramatically, twisting a finger through her short brown hair. "Doesn't he have a concert here tonight?" she asked, tapping her pen along her order slip. Justin nodded once more, folding his arms. "It's his birthday and I wanted to take him out somewhere.. you know, a nice place that wouldn't blow his cover so he could chill with me and our son." Justin said, hinting toward something that couldn't be hidden. Katie's jaw dropped. "Your son's here too?" she hissed lowly. Justin giggled carelessly, nodding again with a slick grin.

"Why here? I mean, why Zaxby's and not Red Lobster or something?" Katie blutered out her questions nervously. "Heard the food was good." Justin shrugged, rubbing his thumb along the sleeve of his shirt. He took a step closer to the counter, examining the menu once more. "Plus this place seems pretty cool to stay incognito at." Justin smiled, resting his blue eyes on her again. She blushed and began doddling on her order pad. "So, uhm... what'll it be?" she asked shyly, lifting her eyes again. "Uh, let me get a Wings & Things Jumbo, make the wings' sauce Wimpy and a Zaxby's Club... a twenty piece of the buffalo wings, the Tongue Torch flavor and a order of fries... two large Sprites..." Justin let his words trail off as he glanced up at the menu one last time. "Oh yeah, and a Kiddie Finger for my boy." Justin added with a smooth grin. "No Zax sauce, right?" Katie questioned him, scribbling down his order briskly. Justin arched an eyebrow immediately. "What's that?" he asked, uncrossing his arms and letting them drop to his side. "Some shit they threw together and try to sell to everyone. It's awful. I'll just put you down for honey mustard instead." Katie said coyly, scribbling down more information. Justin shrugged, satisfied with the response. He only wanted food and to sit with his family and to relax in an atmosphere other than one that was occupied by people involved with the Backstreet Boys.

He just couldn't help it. In fact, he tried to hold it in for as long as possible. But how could he? How could he not sigh happily while relaxing in the booth with Brian, Marc, and Angel, one of Brian's arms wrapped tightly around his waist, the back of his head resting on Brian's shoulder and a smile plastered proudly on his lips. His indigo eyes watched carefully as Angel reached next to him, trying to grab a wing of chicken from Marc's plate. Justin could only laugh as Marc stared down at the boy curiously. "Get your own Lil' Littrell." Marc said playfully, lightly pushing Angel's hand back. "You don't want any of those Timber." Brian assured his son as Angel returned to his own plate, playing carelessly with his fries. Justin laughed again as he watched Angel take a large bite of his fry, his eyes lighting up endlessly as he chewed it. "You are so silly." Justin giggled, quickly grabbing a large chicken finger from the plate in front of Brian as Brian grabbed a wing. "Hey, I wanted that." Brian boasted, watching as Justin opened his mouth to eat it. "So?" Justin snickered, sticking one end of the chicken finger in his mouth. "So I want it." Brian grinned before briskly leaning forward, taking the other end into his mouth before moving forward until his lips were firmly pressed against Justin's. Justin's eyes flew open in surprise. Brian only smiled against the kiss, biting down until he had majority of the chicken finger in his mouth.

Brian pulled back with a pleased smile, chewing hard to taunt his husband.

Justin rolled his eyes and chewed what he had left of the chicken finger. "I don't like you anymore." Justin sighed out, picking at the end of his sandwhich. He let a small frown capture his red lips while he lowered his eyes. "Oh, baby." Brian whined, scooting closer to Justin as Justin tried to move away. Justin pulled Brian's arm from around his waist, nudging him away.

Brian moved briskly, scooting closer and closer to Justin until Justin was wedged between Brian's body and the wall in the booth. Justin sighed arrogantly, placing his elbows on the table and letting his chin rest in his hands. Brian exhaled lowly, resting his chin on Justin's shoulder and slipping his arms around Justin's waist. 'How did this joke turn into a full-fledged attitude?' Brian wondered, brushing his thumbs under Justin's shirt and rubbing them over Justin's hipbone. He watched Justin blink his eyes, curve his lips into a tight pout and lower his brow. Nothing about it was happy and loving. Justin was just there and that's not what Brian wanted. It's not even closed to what he desired. But the song playing through the area, even though it was low and a little scratchy, was something Brian did desire. Snuggling his chin into Justin's shoulder and letting his lips dangle near Justin's ear was something he needed to do and singing softly into Justin's ear is what he had to do.

Right here with you is right where I belong

I lose my mind if I can't see you

Without you, there is nothing in this life

That would make life worth living for

I can't bare the thought of you not there

I can't fight what I feel anymore

Cause I need to be next to you

(Need to be next to you)

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

I need to share every breath with you

(Share every breath with you)

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

I need to know I can see your smile each morning

Look into your eyes each night

For the rest of my life

Here with you, here with you, oh I

I need to be next to you

He felt the warmth, the truth, the love return slowly as Justin's hands rested on top of his, cupping them as Brian crooned lowly with Leigh Nash's voice. His head tilted in Brian's direction and his prickly hair brushed against Brian's forehead. "I'm a sucker for you." Justin whispered, turning his head slightly until his lips were brushing lightly against Brian's as he spoke. "I don't mind." Brian whispered back, nuzzling his nose against Justin's. Justin let his head fall back some and left a sweet kiss on the tip of Brian's nose. It was enough, enough for Brian and Justin.

Justin turned in Brian's arms, smiling foolishly as he ran his fingertips of Brian's jawbone. "Sorry birthday boy, I didn't mean to ruin your good time." he said quietly, his forehead pressed against Brian's. Brian snickered, moving his hands a little further up Justin's shirt. Brian stole a quick kiss, licking his lips to taste Justin there. "It's always a good time when you're here, JuJu Bean." Brian grinned. Justin laughed happily, brushing his thumb over Brian's nose. He stared into those dream-like blue eyes and the laughter and happiness was there. His fingers stroked Brian's chin and his eyes, they were inescapable; so deep and so pure. Justin sighed, his warmth breath damp across Brian's lips. "Feel like kissing me?" Brian asked quietly, nothing in his voice cocky or coy, just real and serious. "More than you know." Justin replied with a soft tone. He felt Brian moved just a little closer and the heat between them get a little hotter and the air between them become a little thinner. "They say if you kiss a frog, you'll get a prince." Brian said with a thick, husky accent. Justin only smiled. "I already have my prince baby." Justin answered softly. He let his lips pucker slightly before tilting his head up, laying a smooth kiss on the tip of Brian's nose before bowing and angling his head to capture Brian's lips, holding them and loving them with his own as he kissed Brian.

Justin felt the rumble of Brian's moan on his tongue as they kissed, Brian's mouth opening and closing into the kiss. Justin licked at Brian's lower lip, seizing Brian's lower lip and sucking on it tenderly. Nothing about the kiss was short of romantic, from the brief touches to the sensual lip movement and slowly increased breathing. It called for passion and understanding that the lovers provided for each other.

"Geez, the kid's still here." Marc noted a little loudly, placing a quick hand over Angel's eyes as Brian and Justin began to pull away from the kiss.

Justin nibbled on Brian's lower lip for a second before blinking his eyes, sighing softly as he detached himself fully. A damp kiss was pressed on the bridge of his nose by Brian, lifting a curvy smile to his lips as they held hands under the table. The tension was thick between them and they could feel it, breathe it, see it, but they resisted.

Brian cleared his throat and turned to his son who was playfully pulling Marc's fingers from over his eyes. "Sorry about that Timber." Brian said lowly as Marc finally dropped his hand. Angel held a large smile for his father, his eyes lit with the light of love. "I'm sure he didn't mind seeing his parents show some affection for each other, but I swear we saw Justin's tongue and that was too much." Marc gushed with laughter, leaving a deep blush on Justin's cheek. Brian giggled along with him, resting an arm around Justin's shoulders. He gave Justin a quick glance, the dimples in his cheeks noticeable as he grinned at Justin. Justin shook his head shamefully, refusing to stare into Brian's eyes. Brian licked his lips quickly. "Oh yeah, you saw some tongue." he grinned, nudging Justin's head with his own as Angel and Marc returned to their food. Brian felt Justin's hands on his thigh and he smiled once more. 'Oh yeah, that was some tongue... and I want some more.' he smiled to himself, relaxing in the booth with his husband.

The arena was dark enough, the crowd screamed loud enough and he grinned bright enough. Holding the microphone barely near his lips, he toyed with the crowd, never speaking, just looking around. They all screamed for him in an ear-splitting way, girls and guys of different age ranges. "Well, I guess it's about time I introduce our first opening act for tonight." he said with a smug grin. The chanted didn't stop. They didn't care who was coming out because they had what they wanted. They had a Backstreet Boy standing on the stage, smiling at them and occasionally waving to certain members of the crowd. "This first act is an up-and-comer who's going to blow you away. She has a wonderful voice and she is gorgeous. Of course, it doesn't hurt that I know her pretty well. She's coming out here to rock the stage for ya'll and I'm sure she'll do a good job," he said, his raspy voice bouncing through the speakers. He scratched his beard as the audience tried desperately to decypher who he was talking of. To the obvious, over-in-love fan, it was plain and clear, but to the others, it seemed more like a mystery than an anticipating moment. "Would you please put your hands together and scream real loud for J Records recording artist, Amanda Latona." he announced, a cheerful grin on his lips as he moved to the side of the stage and let the lights dim again as a lone spotlight fell on the stage.

The spotlight shone like billions of white stars falling down on her. Amanda sat in a black metal chair backwards, her head hanging down low with her hair covering her face from view. Her dancers were on either side of her, sittinf in their own chairs with their heads down. The crowd hissed at each other, some cheering loudly for her while others tried to hear the soft melody beginning to strike up in the speakers. The melody crept in with a sound resembling a Janet Jackson ballad. Amanda's head lifted and her eyes were lit by the spotlight, a petite smile on her lips as she strived to remain as serious as the song.

All I think is about you baby

All I do is for only you and it's true

With every heartbeat, I see your face

Ooh yeah

Every night when I lay down baby

I close my eyes and imagine that I'm kissing you

Before I fall to sleep I always pray

That in your eyes, you'll see what I see

And in your heart, you'll feel what I feel too

Amanda twisted out of her chair with smooth elegance, dancing to the heavily R&B tinged song. She adjusted her headset microphone, allowing the audience to hear her strong soprano voice. She smiled as many of the audience members screamed resoundly for her. Her captivating blue eyes watched each hand reaching out for her, each girl screaming wildly for her and sunddely, this was her moment. This was her place and she knew it. No matter what AJ said, she knew this was it. His doubts, his fears, and his discouraging faces couldn't break her from this.

And I wish me you

I know you're the one

And I'm holding on

'Til my dream comes true

Every star in the sky

Will know that I

Wish me you

Her dancers moved around her in a precise dance as she sang the chorus of the song. She slipped from between them, walking to one side of the stage to sing out to the audience. The screams were never too overwhelming, but just right. It was something she hadn't heard for so long and had never heard this strong. When she was with Innosense, it was about the group and their past with the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. It was too hard to get acceptance. But here? It was different. There was love and she felt it every time she reached a little higher with her voice, sparking a greater cheer from the crowd.

I catch my breath, when I see you baby

I get weak when someone calls out your name

Can't wait any longer to let you know

That in my eyes, I see what you see

And in my heart, I feel what you feel too

And I wish me you

I know you're the one

And I'm holding on

'Til my dream comes true

Every star in the sky

Will know that I

Wish me you

They were the only ones not listening to her upbeat ballad. They were the only ones not screaming for her or just watching her to see if she was all that they wanted her to be. They were the only ones taking advantage of the time they had while the opening acts performed, but they knew they shouldn't.

Justin smiled as Brian kissed at his neck. He felt the bond between them as Brian moaned in the kisses, taking seconds to suck on his favorite spots on Justin's neck. Justin spread his legs slightly, wishing that he was stuck in his jeans, but he was happy that Brian had at least unzipped them during the beginning of their making out. And Brian's hand rubbed endlessly against his erection through Justin's underwear helped too. Justin tangled fingers in Brian's blonde locks, breathing huskily as his husband sucked on his neck. "No hickey's..." Justin breathed out, brushing back Brian's bangs. Brian nodded against his neck and Justin felt Brian breathe in his scent, licking kindly at the spot he had been sucking on.

Justin wanted Brian. All day. All damn day, he wanted to feel Brian's naked skin against his in a passionate fit of pure love making. They weren't able to do that. They couldn't escape Angel or the interviews or meet and greet's or quality time with the group, none of it. Now, in the quiet room the Backstreet Boys had for pure silence before shows, with Angel sleep on the bus with Lea and the other Backstreet Boys running around backstage, fooling with the band and preparing for the show, Justin could have Brian. He couldn't have naked and he couldn't make love to him, but he could have Brian pressed against him, feel that erection that longed for his touch, and hear Brian moan and pant with promising passion.

Brian pushed Justin further into the couch they laid on, grinding his erection against the inside of Justin's thigh. He scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes, licking at Justin's collarbone. Justin slid his hand down the back of Brian's shirt, feeling the hot skin burn against his fingertips.

"Oh, you taste so good." Brian moaned, moving his lips upward until they brushed against Justin's lower lip. Justin parted his lips with a heavy groan, feeling Brian grab his erection. "Uh... uh..." Justin grunted. Brian tongue slicked over his bottom lip, licking tentatively. Justin pulled up the shirt as Brian pushed Justin's shirt further up, exposing all of his chest. "Kiss... k-kiss me..." Justin pleaded as Brian hand left his erection and began to tweak his nipples.

Brian did not hesitate in fullfilling his husban'd request. He pressed his thin lips against Justin's, parting Justin's open with his tongue as he kissed him. Saliva was exchanged, the flavor of thier mouths mixing together at the tips of their tongues was they wrestled for control. Moans echoed against lips and were swallowed by the other. Brian pushed Justin's bandanna off of his head, desparate to feel the hair that used to be soft curls. He felt Justin arch his back under him, forcing his erection against Brian's own and Brian groaned hard, gripping Justin's side to keep their erection pressed firmly together as Brian began to hump against Justin's.

Justin felt hot, a little too hot. He had to escape some of these clothes and feel his husband inside of him, feel that hardness sliding in and out of him with love. "Please... get me out of these jeans.. this shirt, baby..." Justin pleaded against Brian's lips, leaving quick kisses on Brian's lips. Justin skimmed a hand between them and cupped Brian's hard erection, pulling out a loud moan from Brian. Justin flicked his tongue across Brian's chin when Brian tilted his head back, moaning softer and softer as Justin rubbed him. Justin knew he could make Brian cum in his pants. He could leave Brian in soaking briefs, a reminder of what else could happen throughout the night as Brian performed on stage.

"Justin... we.. we can't baby..." Brian panted, slapping Justin's hand away. That was it. There would be no more. Brian had called for a stop and they both knew that if one didn't say it, the other wouldn't, and soon enough, clothing would be thrown across the room and the springs in the couch would have popped because they were going to fuck hard, extremely hard on that couch.

Justin sighed and sunk into the couch, chewing on his lower lip as Brian began to calm down. He spread his legs and let his husband's lower body relax between them, Brian's hardness pressed against the area below Justin's balls. Brian massaged his thumbs against Justin's temples, hoping to soothe his husband's mild frustration. "Ya know I would if we could." he said softly, his thick accent rolling off his tongue. Justin nodded under Brian's fingers, an almost smile rising in his lips. He moved his arms around Brian's midsection, pulling him down. He kissed Brian's brow and breathed in the scent of his hair. "We can, just not now." Justin sighed, rubbing Brian's back. He only needed to remind himself that to survive with Brian in his arms. He was going to be able to feel his naked skin, just not now.

He watched her watch A*Teens run around on the stage, reciting lines from Abba's 'Dancing Queen.' His tealish eyes took in her beauty, her perfection, her honesty without spite. He hadn't thought back to Valentine's Day when she left him and the feelings that rushed over his body when he thought of her somewhere else, without him. He remained positive because he knew what he could have and he knew what he desired. He ws sure of it. He felt it all through him.

"Nik'?" he called smoothly. Nikki glanced over her shoulder, hugging herself when she heard the voice. Her hazel-like green eyes glared at him for a second without words being spoken. "Yeah Kev'?" she wondered, turning slightly. Kevin approached her without reservation. "I just wanted to know, you know, if we're going to get a chance to go out on this tour. Maybe a date?" Kevin questioned, stopping his advance when he was mere inches from her. Nikki sucked in her lower lip and lowered her head. He never made it easier for her. It was that constant struggle, that constant stubborn faith that kept her from speaking to him as a friend, someone she could rely on.

Nikki shook her head and that was enough for her. She didn't need to explain her situation or her feelings or her struggles because she had already. She did it in the form of written word and whether Kevin accepted it or not, she could bring herself to let him go. She had no reason, no excuse to stay in love with him or have any feelings for him. That love had come apart and now, she was moving on.

"Don't ask me that... don't ever ask me that. I'm dating Ryan, you know it, he knows it." Nikki said quietly as A*Teens rushed backstage, all laughing and cheering as they passed Nikki and Kevin. Kevin kept a steady stare with Nikki, disappointed in her response. It could not have been that easy. "He knows? You mean that bastard JC, right? The one that's keeping you from forgiving me and being with me again?" Kevin questioned with a hissing voice. Nikki groaned quietly, unfolding her arms and letting her hands crumple into fists. "Why do you always do this?" she barked at him. "Because I know what's reality Nikki. Ryan doesn't mean anything to you, but he does. I'm not worried though. He'll get his just-deserts just like the rest of us." Kevin replied, his last words filled with smugness.

Nikki couldn't question Kevin. He walked away after the words had cleared his lips. And those words echoed through her head like the chiming of Big Ben. Such powerful, hard words were meant to leave her wondering and in fear. And they did. Even standing on stage with the other members, listening to the crowd applaud after their vocally-strong performance of 'You Can't Touch Me Now,' she could still hear those words overriding the sounds of the cheering audience.

Nikki glanced around as her bandmates began shuffling metal chairs across the stage, setting them up for the next song. She slipped loose strands of her hair behind her ear, standing nervously in the middle of the movement. She adjusted the strap on her tight top, all of their clothes remeniscent of Janet Jackson's 'You Want This' video. She couldn't help but feel comfortable in the clothes, but she was still a little shaky thinking of what Kevin meant with his words.

"Now Mandy's gonna bring out a special guest for this next song. Today's his birthday and we thought we'd serenade him with his favorite song of ours." Jenny announced into her microphone, slipping past a still stiff Nikki. Nikki shook herself from her daze, turning her head to catch Mandy pulling Brian out onto the main stage. The ballistic screams from the crowd only brought smiles to Innosense's lips. "That's right, here's the birthday boy." Veronica grinned, hooking her arm with Brian's other arm, helping Mandy pull him to the center of the stage. Brian hesitated with his steps, not prepared to make an appearance before the audience before the Backstreet Boys' show. A goofy smile crossed his lips as Mandy and Veronica stopped him in front of one of the chairs. "Don't be shy Brian." Mandy insisted with a slippery smile. She and Veronica helped Brian find a seat in the chair, letting him get comfortable for a moment.

Danay laid one of her hands on Brian's shoulder, standing behind the chair as the others formed a half circle around the chair, allowing the crowd to get a good glimpse of Brian. "Well, from what we hear, Brian loves this song and he dedicates it to a certain someone in his life." Danay beamed, permitting the crowd to know secrets that were rarely shared with the public. The girls of the crowd cooed and wailed, well aware of who Danay spoke of. "But tonight, we're going to dedicate this song to the both of them on Brian's twenty-sixth birthday." Nikki noted, finally finding words to speak.

A few minutes of subtle silence before the smoothly remixed version of 'So Together' came strumming through the speakers, with its heavy bass and lead guitar causing the audience to cheer mildly. The girls of Innosense shook their hips from side-to-side, keeping that 'performance smile' laced on their lips as they danced. They knew this choreography a little too well, this beat a little too well, and this song very well. They could do it all in their sleep, but on that stage, they were doing it for Brian and no one else.

Happy birthday

Happy, happy birthday (Ah, come on)

Happy birthday

Happy birthday Brian (Sing Nikki)

[Nikki]

Boy, you've been away too long

Funny, cause our love's so strong

When you're gone, it's keeps me hangin' on and on

Keeps me inspired

Nikki sashayed her way around the chair as the others danced their lone choreography with their own chairs. She smiled while singing clearly, keeping her eyes on Brian as he nervously tapped his fingers along his knees, keeping up with the beat of the music. She tapped the end of his nose with her finger before sitting in his lap, smiling at the crowd while singing. The response was full of laughter and cheers as Brian shot Nikki a surprised expression. Nikki rocked in his lap, rolling her eyes as she belted out the bridge.

And it's written in your face

The way you feel everyday

I hope it never changes

You know I've got to say I...

Can't stop missin' you

Only meant to be kissin' you

Can't you feel me wishin' we were

So together baby

Can't stop hopin' time will fly

And we'll never say goodbye

Cause forever, you and me

So together baby

The girls danced in harmony, adjusting to the new routine that was required because of Brian's appearance in the middle of the stage. Mandy tossed her perfectly straight blonde hair back, teasing the crowd as she moved around Brian's chair. "He's a cute one, right ladies?" Mandy called out her question and, as expected, the response was loud and gracious. Mandy giggled childlishly, laying a hand on Brian's shoulder and glaring down at him. The friendliness between the two may not have been strong as it was between Lance and Bryce or Brian and Nikki, but it was still there. And Brian loved Mandy's smile so much he blushed under its view. Mandy winked at Brian and giggled again when seeing Brian's blue eyes light up with humor, proving the friendship was there and Mandy kept trying to remember the words that she sung so beautifully.

[Mandy]

Night and day, I say a prayer

(I say a, say a prayer)

That in the morning, you're lyin' right there

And you're never gonna go nowhere

Oh Brian

For the rest of our lives

Veronica placed a hand on Mandy's shoulder and pulled her back, laughing as Mandy blew a kiss at Brian. "Come on, he's married girl." Veronica chimed with her thick Southern accent. Mandy nodded, laughing heartely as Jenny strutted in front of them. Veronica had to remind the audience, not Mandy, that Brian was taken, that he was forever Justin's. She had to remind herself that she could never have Justin and they could never have Brian. But it wasn't so bad now, was it? She had a boyfriend, one that loved her unbelieveably. She saw the chemistry between Brian and Justin and even she got weak in the knees when Brian would whisper those sweet-nothings to Justin, just loud enough for the others to hear. And that look. Who could deny that look? The way Justin looked as if he was daydreaming whenever Brian was sitting next to him, his arm around Justin's shoulders and Justin's body cuddled to Brian's. It didn't hurt anymore because it was too surreal to hurt, but it only made her think about how much her ex-boyfriend deserved to have that much happiness in a world filled with that much hate.

[Jenny]

It's a precious love

And it's sent from above

[Mandy]

The whole world should know

Cause baby I know I

Can't stop missin' you

Only meant to be kissin' you

Can't you feel me wishin' we were

So together baby

Can't stop hopin' time will fly

And we'll never say goodbye

Cause forever, you and me

So together baby

He could still feel Brian wrapped in his arms, holding him tightly after Innosense's performance. He could feel Brian's smile each time Brian kissed his cheek. He knew Brian was happy that Innosense serenaded him and that they dedicated that song to him, to them in a way. And it felt so damn good to have Brian in his arms. 'He'll be in my arms again. Just another two hours and he'll be there again. He'll be all hot, sweaty... and so uncontrollably sexy in my arms.' Justin told himself, grinning widely as he followed Marc, Todd, Pollyana, and Amanda into the V.I.P. booth of the arena. He could hear the screams from all around as many of the fans awaited the beginning of the performance.

"Right up here guys. We want to keep you towards the back until the show starts." Todd informed the three was they moved through the section toward seats in the back of the small section. It was a petite area in the arena set aside for the sound technicians and the more known celebrities who didn't mind being noticed by the media. Tonight, Justin didn't mind. He took the seat next to Amanda, making sure to adjust his backstage pass so he had no trouble manuevering through the arena if needed. "You don't usually sit in this section, do you Justin?" Pollyana asked as Justin fiddled with his lamenated pass. Justin glanced up with a crooked smile. "No, not really. I usually don't want fans to know I'm here. You know, to avoid the attention and all." Justin responded, his voice trying to reach over the screams. Pollyana nodded in agreeance, leaning forward in her seat to get a better look at the younger man. "Plus he's usually playing with Angel backstage." Amanda added with a subtle smile.

And then it began. It started with a few gasps and then a few screams and then suddenly, there they were, a few at first, standing at the bottom of the booth. "Justin! Justin!" they called, causing Justin to sink in his seat a little. "Hey Amanda!" a few others called out, causing Amanda to burst into laughter. "Oh, here we go. Ya'll two make it so hard for me to enjoy concerts. The popular married ones." Pollyana joked, standing from her seat. She pointed to a few seats closer to the front of the booth, a spot where security stood and prevented fans from getting close enough to harass them.

Amanda and Justin watched as Pollyana shifted through the area until she reached the seats. They both sighed, hearing more screams as more fans surrounded the area. "Damn it, I wish they'd just get the fans back to their seats. It's not that I don't want to talk with them, but damn it, there's just too many." Amanda complained lowly, leaning in Justin's direction. Justin nodded, frowning slightly. "You know what this means, right?" Justin wondered, turning his head to look at her. Amanda nodded with pouting lips. "Autographs." they answered simultaneously.

Gradually, they both moved to oppsite sides, leaning over railing to smile at their fans. Justin waved to a few as they attempted to reach out and touch his hand. "Can you sign this?" one asked, handing Justin her newly bought T-shirt. Justin chewed on his lower lip before nodding, pulling a pen from his pocket and scrimbling his name across the white shirt. "Me too!" another called out, throwing a baseball cap up to Justin. Justin caught it quickly, smiling when he saw that it was a Kentucky hat. "Brian would love this." Justin said to the fan as he attempted to scribble his name into the brim of the cap. "Tell him I wish him a happy birthday." one more shouted to Justin. Justin laughed quietly and nodded, grabbing a Backstreet Boys photcard and signing his name next to Brian's picture. "Will do." he grinned toward the girl. "Is your son here?" the first asked Justin as fans snapped quick candids of him. "Yep. He's tucked away in bed though." Justin answered, smiling for one more picture. He signed one more shirt before moving a little down the railing, trying to give attention to other fans that screamed for him.

"Brian cannot be gay, yuck. God, I want him." a girl said as Justin took another's picture to sign. Justin scrunched his face up, trying not to look at the fan directly with disgust. "And he has a son too. God, that is so unbelieveable." her friend agreed, her voice stricken with distaste. Justin sighed, handing back the phot before pulling back. "Shut up you stupid bitches. Brian's in love and he's happy!" a larger fan barked at the girls, leaving them silent. Justin tried to smile, but couldn't. He just couldn't smile knowing how those two girls felt, how they openly expressed their repugnance toward Brian being married to him, their loathing of the two raising a child together. But why couldn't they accept it? Like it? Even deal with it? Why did the world have to have such a problem with it? It was allowed. In a few states and countries, it was more than legal. But so was prejudice, wasn't it? That still existed in all of its twisted, sick beauty. And it still brought goosebumps to Justin's arms and still caused his heart to sink in his chest.

Arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him back a few steps. He could feel Amanda's soft arms holding him close as she smiled against his cheek. "Marc says that the show is going to start in about five minutes. We should move closer right about now." Amanda said to him as fans began to snap pictures of the two. Justin nodded, faking a smile for the crowd. He lowered his head some and turned with Amanda to move away. "Hey, don't let what they say to you get to you. I've been called a bitch, a traitor and everything else. One girl over there asked me if I got married just because I was pregnant." Amanda said to her friend, keeping one arm secured around Justin's shoulders. Justin glanced at her wearily. "They say those things to you?" Justin asked, his face twisting in pain. Amanda nodded, holding an aspiring smile on her glossy lips. "But you're a good mother." Justin declared. "And you're a good father. And a great husband. They're going to try to break you, but you know what you, Brian, and Angel have just like I know what I have with Alex and Amaiya." Amanda assured him as they found the seats set aside for them. And just those words brought a blinding smile to Justin's ruddy lips. How could anyone but him know what he had with his family? Who was the judge and jury? It couldn't be Brian's fans or Justin's fans or anyone's fans. It was him and him alone.

The lights faded and the crowd screamed. Spotlights searched the stage and the fans screamed. The sounds of Etta James' 'At Last' and candid baby photos of the Backstreet Boys shown across the large screen on the stage and the adults cooed. And then the explosions and more screams and louder squeals and ear-splitting howls that rocked through the arena.

"Hey! Do ya'll wanna dance?!" AJ called out as he appeared at the top of the stage, standing behind a DJ booth that was set up directly behind the band. A heavy rock and hip-hop fused melody blared through the arena. The audience screamed loudly when spotting the lone Backstreet Boy scratching on the records. Soon the large stage was filled with dancers and the other Backstreet Boys, all throwing their full energy into the intense dance moves that Fatima had taught them. Each Backstreet Boy was dressed club-like wardrobe to match the atmosphere created on the stage. "Keep goin' ya'll! Come on, get up, get up!" AJ called out, rushing down the ramp to join his bandmates on the stage. Nick slid to the middle of the dancers and grinned toward the crowd.

[Nick]

I didn't come here to stand on the wall

The loud music, I love this song

I'm lookin' for something to turn me on

All of you people on the floor

[AJ]

They've got their hands up

Right, left, now step

Don't stop, dance to the beat

Hands up, move back, slide those feet

You better keep movin' (Keep, keep)

You better keep groovin' (Keep, keep)

Cause the night's not goin' nowhere

All your hands in the air

You better keep movin' (Keep, keep)

This party's doin'

Every thing I wanted it to

Keep movin' to the groove

Brian adjusted his headset mic as he strolled to one side of the stage. He winked quickly at Justin before waving to him. He scratched under his navy blue bandanna and smiled as the audience still remembered his name. Still called for him as if they longed for him, knowing he was married, knowing he was a father, knowing he was with Justin from *NSYNC. None of it mattered when he was dancing on that stage. It didn't matter that he wore that bandanna to show his love for Justin or that when he flicked his wrist right, the audience could see that bracelet Justin gave him. As long as he was still Brian Littrell, he was still loved.

[Brian]

There's no time to think about it

Great expectations, get down with it

I want to lose my mind tonight

It's time, we grind, alright

[AJ]

They've got their hands up

Right, left, now step

Don't stop, dance to the beat

Hands up, move back, slide those feet

You better keep movin' (Keep, keep)

You better keep groovin' (Keep, keep)

Cause the night's not goin' nowhere

All your hands in the air

You better keep movin' (Keep, keep)

This party's doin'

Every thing I wanted it to

Keep movin' to the groove

A little less dancing and a lot more singing suited him well. Dressed in a blue fannel shirt hanging out of his pants with the top few buttons unsnapped and hip-hugging faded blue jeans with a brown cowboy was the perfect attire for the song he heard floating through the speakers. His auspicious blue eyes admired all of the birthday signs in his honor. A perky smile laced his lips when he saw a few of the congratulatory banners that were decorated with pictures of himself and his husband. Even months after the announcement, there were still fans that did not get to express their joy for him and now, in this Atlanta arena, he got to see them.

"This next song was written by our birthday boy, Brian, and since it's about being lonely, we thought we'd kind of get a vibe for this song. But since none of us really like to be lonely, we thought we'd get closer to you all out there so that maybe you'd make us feel a little more comfortable." AJ announced, crossing over the stage as his counterparts waited for their cue. The ovation and response from the crowd was breathtaking. They were ready. For what? They didn't know, but they were ready. "I guess they want us to get close." Nick snickered out. The others nodded and with assistance from their security, the Backstreet Boys exited the stage and walked down through the aisles of the arena, guarded by at least two guards as they walked closer to their fans.

[Kevin]

Halfway to nowhere

I'm beginning to see

That without you...

I'm nothing

The country guitar-filled instrumental strummed throughout the arena as the guys walked down separate aisles, touching hands, giving quick hugs, and giving smiles that brought upon a million dreams and wishes in a coating of candy-sweet admiration. Brian walked his trek slowly down the middle aisle, searching for the one, the one that kept his smile worth smiling and the one he wrote this song solely for.

[Howie]

Somewhere on this journey of mine

I found the answers to my questions why

And if I haven't told you what you mean to my life

Baby, I apologize

[Brian]

I don't know if I should travel anymore

If it means we're further from home

Cause you know I love you for who you are

In the cold of the night, you are my star

And I don't wanna walk alone

I don't wanna search for my home

When I know with you is where I belong

Tired of living my life just like a cowboy

Brian held a fan's hand as he sung the hook of the song, trying to offer up all of his attention to the crying fan as he sang directly to her. He felt other hands call for him, trying to touch him, but he sang to only this fan for a moment while his mind drifted to someone else not that far away. His mind thought of the man that was away when he began writing this song. The man that inspired his need to find a home, find a place that he could always go to and feel safe, feel warm, and feel secure.

He couldn't help but look in his direction as he released the fan's hand. He knew he shouldn't look that way because he might have seen something he couldn't handle. And he did. He saw a sliver of a tear slip down the man's face, a joyful smile over his lips. His husband had never heard him sing the song live. He was always with Angel or on the phone or signing autographs when Brian did the song. But not tonight. Tonight, Brian got to look into those purely velvet indigo eyes and he watched those lips curl into a loving smile. He could see dancing white roses painted into Justin's cheeks and drops of midnight sky hidden under a small ocean of tears in his eyes. Brian had to wave, he had to show Justin that he saw him and saw his expression and felt what he felt too.

[Howie]

Baby, I want to see each sunrise next to you

Now I can see, I've been blessed with you

And the Lord knows that whenever I ride this road

I wish I could find my home

[Brian]

Searching for something to keep my smile

When I'm without you, I finally cry

Cause I don't want you to know that I'm struggling on

Until I can reach your love

And I don't wanna walk alone

I don't wanna search for my home

When I know with you is where I belong

Tired of living my life just like a cowboy

'Man, I have to stop writing all of these songs about him... they get kind of emotional.' Brian told himself as he stood onstage, lowering his microphone after crooning out the final note of 'Just.' They were almost three-fourths through with their show and now Brian was only clad in a white wifebeater and baggy ivory slacks. He clutched a white bandanna in his other hand, squeezing it as a reminder. He had watched Justin leave at the beginning of the song and it hurt to continue to sing the song without his inspiration there. It was a struggle to continue on without being able to look at Justin and see those singing angels in his face, watch the way he would smile everytime Brian spelled out their names.

"Hey Brian, I think we should bring out that special guy you wrote that song for." AJ suggested, leaning off of his stool to make the announcement. Brian's head immediately snapped in AJ's direction, his brow lowering and his eyes squinting at AJ in disbelief. "Yeah. Why not?" Howie agreed with a shrug. Brian almost dropped his microphone at the suggestion. "Oh Justin." Nick called into his microphone and half the crowd went completely silent. Would he appear? Atlanta wasn't sure, but Nick called again and soon Kevin appeared on the stage again, pulling the reluctant young man onto the stage.

The screams began again, loud and unrelenting as a spotlight fell on Justin. Justin scratched his slight goatee nervously, holding a mic in his sweaty hand. He felt Brian's eyes on him, but tried not to look at him. "Hi." he said almost quietly and the screams raised another decible, causing the Backstreet Boys to fall into a fit of laughter. "He's not even one of us and look how much they love him." Nick snickered to Howie, holding his microphone down so the crowd was deaf to his words.

Justin took shaky steps to his husband, finally staring into Brian's surprised eyes as the crowd continued to holler madly. Justin chewed his lower lip, twisting his face with fear as he reached out to Brian. Brian's mouth fell open and he stood there. 'He wants me to hold his hand? In front of thousands of people?' Brian wondered with complete disbelief. Brian cautiously raised his hand and felt hesitation grab him. Could he do this? With adults standing next to their young children? With impressionable minds standing in that audience? His hand couldn't listen to foolish thoughts. The feeling of fingertips against his own and then skin sliding against skin until Justin's hand cupped Brian's left him ready to forget who was in the audience and only concentrate that sliver of security in Justin's eyes.

Justin pulled Brian a little closer and led him to the front of the stage.

"I know I'm not a Backstreet Boy and all," Justin said teasingly, pulling a few howls and laughter from the crowd. Justin glanced back to Brian who blushed and hung his head low. "But today's this special guy's birthday and since he is a Backstreet Boy and you're Backstreet Boys' fans, I was hoping you could sing him a song for me." Justin requested, looking back to the crowd. The calls continued, with some dismaying the idea, but Justin continued. "Could you all please sing happy birthday for him?" Justin requested, his voice turning childish as he spoke meekly. The audience burst into a fit of screams, all screaming for Brian. Brian gave Justin's hand a nervous squeeze, concerned. "Come on ya'll, on the count of three..." AJ boasted and as soon as the countdown was over, the audience, the fans, the Backstreet Boys, the opening acts, and Justin all sang to Brian but Brian only listened to his husband.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Brian

Happy birthday to you

The audience sizzled with applause and seemingly endless screams, but Brian tuned them out for just a second when Justin turned to him. And then Brian ignored them again when Justin stepped closer to him and hugged him, pulling his body into that warmth, into those secure arms that squeezed him.

He felt Justin's smooth red lips brush against the corner of his mouth for a quick kiss and he immediately turned his head, capturing Justin's lips for a brief kiss, one that still sparked passion inside but kept the physical contact to a minimum.

Justin stepped away from Brian, licking his lips with a generous smile. He brushed a thumb over Brian's nose, that silky coating of a precious, endless love glazing his indigo eyes. Brian exhaled lightly and got lost in those eyes. He let Justin pry the bandanna from his hands and carry it upward until Justin opened it and began to place it back on Brian's head. Justin began fastening the ends of the bandanna around Brian's head, smiling at his husband with the soul of an angel and the love of a million timeless lovers.

"Aaaww, this is too cute. His hubby is putting on his scarf." Nick commented, causing coos to fall from the crowd while others turned in mild disgust. A few laughs echoed through the arena with the expressions Nick gave, but Brian and Justin gave them no attention. They only felt their own love through stares and smiles and winks and one last quick kiss.

Now, at the last song, the Backstreet Boys felt ready to end their show, to move onto the next venue and the next show and the next day of light.

They had already introduced the song, said their thank you's and now that intricate sound of a synphony and heaavy metal guitars rocks through the venue with fans screaming and cheering.

They danced hard even though their bodies were exhausted, sweating fall from every pore. Nick yanked his fingers through his mop of blonde hair. The spikes had long fallen down and he was working with what he could. He glanced over to Kevin and Howie who struggled to keep up with the multicultural dances that were incorporated into the routine. He had to laugh to himself thinking of their age, their weary bodies. He was strong. He fought through it all and a little dancing wasn't going to hurt him. And it wasn't hurting Brian, who seemed to be able to keep up with the beat without trouble and still remember what he had to sing. AJ was never lost in the dancing, only lost in the meaning of the song.

If sayin' I love you's not enough

Please tell me where to start

To find a way to your heart

Yeah, come on

Uh, ah yeah

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

[Howie]

I've been trying to break through

Mysteries keep me away from you

All my words will never change

The complications of this game

[AJ]

I know that you've been hiding what you feel

Tell me baby if our love is real

I'm sayin' I love you - Does that count?

I'm sayin' I love you - When you're down

I'm sayin' I love you - I'm so afraid

I'm sayin' I love you - Baby, stay

They all sang the chorus with breathy voices, but AJ held his notes perfect. He wiped the sweat from his brow and moved to one side of the stage, letting the others danced as he focused his attention on another object. His dark brown eyes peered through sunglasses and watched her, watched her standing backstage watching him. He could feel it. Pain. It was always pain and tension. He couldn't figure out why, but it was always there, everytime he looked into those hollow blue eyes. He felt Brian tug him, pull him back toward the center of the stage for Brian's verse, but he moved closer to her and sang only to her.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

[Brian]

I remember the ones before

You turned around and let me in the door

Pain dies when love is born

All these lies won't bring faith back home

[AJ]

I know that you're trying to tell me what you need

But I can't see what you want me to see

I'm sayin' I love you - Does that count?

I'm sayin' I love you - When you're down

I'm sayin' I love you - I'm so afraid

I'm sayin' I love you - Baby, stay

Then, as the hip-hopish, guitar blaring, symphony-like melody rocked through the arena, he took steps forward and grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the stage and stood right before her while the others danced circles around the stage. Gasps shook from the crowd and eyes flocked to the pair, AJ running a hand over her hair while Amanda stood silent and scared. This wasn't the way the show went. None of the Backstreet Boys ever pulled anyone on the stage and they never impromtued during a song. But the others kept dancing and AJ kept standing right there, lost with his heart hoping to find his wife.

[AJ]

I know that you're trying to tell me what you need

But I can't see what you want me to see

If sayin' I love you's not enough

Please tell me where to start

To find a way to your heart

If sayin' I love you's not enough (Not enough)

Please tell me where to start (Where to start)

To find a way to your heart (A way to your heart)

And with those words, he left her. He returned to the routine and left Amanda standing right there to contemplate the words that Max Martin had written. He left her to think of the look in his eyes as he sang, the way he caressed her hair and the way the world fell away and he sang to only her.

'I don't know what is enough Alex.' she thought, hugging herself and watching him finish the song with the others, finish what always came first for him.

It didn't take long for them to fall back into the groove they had fallen into so much through the day. A small celebration, a quick excuse to get away, and Brian and Justin were nearly naked on the couch in the Backstreet Boys quiet room once more. Clothing had found it was way all across the room and the sounds of lips smacking occasionally with stiffled moans echoed through the room while the heady scent of premature sex and sweat filled the air. No one dared to knock on the door, even though only a few actually knew Brian and Justin were in the dressing room. It was time for Brian and Justin and Brian and Justin only.

Justin accepted all of Brian's lusty kisses, tilting his head back to feel the pure passion that leaked from them. That more-than-familiar tongue licked at the roof of his mouth before rubbing lovingly against his own tongue, causing Justin to arch his back and force his groin against Brian's.

Justin's breathing had increased impatiently. He could feel Brian's left hand rubbing the small of his back while his other hand slipped passed the waistband of his boxer-briefs, grabbing his ass forcefully before massaging one of the cheeks. Justin whimpered through the wet kiss, his tongue sloppily licking over Brian's lips as Brian drew back some, pulling his hand free from under Justin and slinking it down to the front of Justin's open jeans, forcing them down more until they were tangled at Justin's knees.

Justin gasped loudly when he felt Brian's middle finger poking curiously at his hole while Brian's hand cupped Justin's erection through the boxer-briefs. He felt precum leak from his cock and he knew the passion was too much. He wouldn't last. He'd never last if Brian got that finger inside of him and continued to touch him the way he did. The heat, the white flame circling their bodies was too much and he had to say something to stop Brian, but he didn't want to. He wanted those hands on him, just not yet. Not so soon.

"Brian, wait, stop..." Justin whimpered out, wrapping his hand around Brian's wrist to pull his hand away from Justin's crotch. Brian groaned lowly, humping Justin's leg while still rubbing over Justin's quivering hole. "Stop, please." Justin requested again, his voice becoming a little firmer.

Brian's body stiffened and he opened his eyes, licking his lips while arching an eyebrow. He rested his forehead against Justin's, confused by the actions his husband had taken. There wasn't a mortfied expression awaiting Brian as he kept his hands on Justin, just a weary one. "What's wrong JuJu?" Brian asked, calming his body as Justin sunk into the couches cushions. Justin brushed fingers over the scar running down the middle of Brian's chest, his breathing still accelerated. "I was about to cum, baby." Justin panted out. Brian kissed Justin's forehead with an amicable smile. "Oh, that's okay sweetie. I can make you hard again." Brian grinned, lowering his head until he stared into Justin's glazed blue eyes and saw those puffy lips shaking. "No, Brian. I don't want to cum... not yet." Justin said, pushing Brian away some.

Brian scooted off of his husband, a hurt expression on his face. He watched Justin slip off the couch and stand, shaking off his jeans before walking through the room dressed in only his boxer-briefs. "Baby?" Brian called out, sitting up on the couch. He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on top of them, watching Justin nervously. His eyes locked on Justin as he rummaged through a bag near the vanity mirror. "Beanie?" Brian called again, his voice softer and thick with his accent. Justin still didn't respond. 'Fuck. What did I do?' Brian wondered, closing his eyes with shame. He was worried and he was horny and it made the worst combination.

A hand clasped over Brian's wrist and tugged, causing Brian to open his eyes and stare up at his husband, a more than gentle and loving smile on his lips. "Come here." Justin requested, tugging again. Brian was hesitant and it was evident in his actions. He slowly stood from the couch, just standing in front of Justin for a mere moment, taking in Justin's beauty and his calmness and his care.

He followed Justin to a chair near the vanity mirror and sat, Justin finding a seat on his lap. "I wanted to stop because I wanted to give you one of your birthday presents." Justin informed his husband, holding up a navy blue book. Brian raised his brow curiously, reaching a hand up to grab the book while his arm rested in Justin's lap. "What is it?" Brian asked, taking the book into both hands and flipping it open. Different handwritings and signatures were scribbled across every page in the book. Words of love, friendships, and trust covered the book's pages. "It took me about three weeks to get it all, but I did. I got friends and family to write messages in this book to you. I said they could write whatever they wanted to about you, whether it was about good times, memorable times, thankful times... or loving times." Justin explained as Brian browsed through the book, recognizing signatures and reading a few of the shorter messages. He caught a glimpse of his mother's writing in the beginning of the book, words from each Backstreet Boy and some of the members of *NSYNC. He spotted Bryce's writing somewhere in the middle right before he saw a small message from Sebastian. "Your mom wrote in here?" Brian asked in disbelief. Justin giggled, nodding proudly. "She was more than willing to do it." Justin boasted while Brian read a few excerpts. He found words from Innosense, Mandy Moore, Take 5, and almost two pages from Amanda. "This is so beautiful." Brian whispered, flipping through the thick book. He stopped on a page that had crayon scribbling on it, but the words were very clear to Brian.

'Angel loves Dad'

Brian's breath was caught in his throat when reading the message from his son. Justin smiled angelically, running fingers through Brian's hair. "I had to help him with that, but after three tries, we got it." Justin whispered, nuzzling his nose into Brian's hair. Brian felt small tears line his eyes and he sighed, turning the page where he found a five page, front and back, letter from his husband. "Took me awhile to do that one. I kept getting emotional." Justin informed Brian as Brian read a few of the words, finding one paragraph to read over.

'Whenever we lay on the couch in the den, your arms wrapped around me as we watch TV, I always feel safe and I always feel so good. You always make me laugh when we're laying there and I can feel that laughter through my whole body, in every bone because you made it happen. And when I hear you laugh, it's magical. The way you giggle into my ear before kissing it and snuggling closer always gives me a supernatural rush that's hard to explain.

It's like cupid's hitting me with a hundred of those arrows because I keep falling in love with you continuously, just like that first time, back in Atlanta, when you held me the whole night. It's funny how the best times of my life didn't happen until I was seventeen and falling in love with you.'

Brian slumped in his seat, his eyes clouded with thick tears. He felt Justin's finger sweep under his eyelid and catch the tears, rubbing them away. "It's not all mushy stuff. I took about a page to talk about how great sex is with you too." Justin teased his husband as Brian batted away tears. "Really?" Brian asked, trying to laugh through tears. Justin sighed with pleasure. "There's that laughter." Justin cooed, slipping from Brian's lap.

Brian sniffled quietly, clearing his throat as Justin pulled the book from his hands. "Hey, I wanted to finish reading that." Brian complained as Justin laid the book on the table. "Well, like I said, there's about a page in there about how good sex is with you and I thought I'd find something else to write a page on." Justin said seductively, winking at his husband as he pulled the white bandanna Brian wore earlier from the table. Brian's brow raised once more and he watched as Justin slipped behind him and suddenly his hands were pulled together and his wrists were bond by the bandanna, Justin tying it tight enough that Brian couldn't pull away.

"Baby?" Brian called, his voice trembling with slight fear. Justin step around to the front of Brian again, smiling sweetly. "You aren't getting kinky on me, are you?" Brian wondered, his face twisted with slight anxiety.

Justin giggled quietly, moving away from Brian. "Maybe." Justin replied exotically, hitting the play button on a nearby stereo.

Mmm, my lips hurt...

Justin shook his hips to the sound of Janet Jackson moaning and the thumping beat filling the room. He turned to Brian, pulling down the front of his boxer-briefs a little, exposing that patch of unruly brown curls. He exposed the tattoo on his hip, the one that read 'Rocky,' before lifting the front of his boxer-briefs up again. Brian moaned quietly, watching Justin strut closer to him and fall to his knees. Justin hook his fingers into the waistband of Brian's boxers and grinned. "Lift." Justin said quickly. Brian followed his directions and arched his back until his ass left the seat. Justin slipped the black briefs down to Brian's ankles, leaving them tangled around Brian's angles.

Justin took in a quick whiff of Brian's heady, masculine scent, bringing his head close enough to smell the sweat in Brian's wiry brown pubes and feel that hard, wet, throbbing, thick red cock brushing against his chin. Brian gasped loudly, his body shaking as Justin rubbed the cock across his lips and over his chin, the small hairs on Justin's chin tickling Brian's dick. "Oh God Justin... I... I..." Brian panted hard, his thighs spreading wider, inviting Justin to take him, to swallow him and to make him scream without being able to touch Justin. "Just enjoy Rocky." Justin whispered, his fingers finally wrapping around that aching penis and holding it still as he opened his mouth.

(Tie me) Tie me up, tie me down

Make me moan real loud

(Make me moan real loud)

Take off my clothes

(Take off my clothes)

No one has to know (Tie)

Whisperin'

I wanna feel a soft rope burn

(No one has to know)

Wanna feel a - Rope burn

Justin flicked his tongue around the head of Brian's cock, the tip of his tongue tracing every curve and dent that made up the head. His tongue lapped at the pulsing head, tasting drops of precum as they slithered out of the slit. Justin opened his mouth a little more and took the head in his mouth, sucking at the slit, trying to drain it of all of its juices, its pure, sweet nectar. He moaned around the penis and lapped at the head, listening to Brian's tenor-like moans. He pulled back again and swirled his tongue around the hot dick, leaving it slick with saliva before blowing on it, causing goosebumps to sizzle across Brian's skin.

"Oh, whoa, baby..." Brian groaned, struggling against his restraints. He lifted his hips and felt Justin hold him down with one hand, keeping him still as Justin took more than just the head in his mouth. "Jesus Justin," Brian hissed, the feel of Justin's mouth descending on his cock sending quakes throughout his body. He felt a fever burning his skin. Justin was making him hot. Justin's mouth was making him hot. That tongue, licking incessantly at the head of his penis, sliding down the underside of his penis and licking at the slit of his penis, was making him so hot.

When you walked into the room

You knew just what to do

You could have gone from door to door

But you knew just where to go to

Come into my velvet room

And tell me your fantasies

[Tell me your fantasies]

The passion in your voice I wanna hear

As you start to tell me

While you're at it, take the blind fold

Tie it gently on me

Don't wanna see but feel the things

You're gonna do to me

[Wanna feel it]

Justin's mouth released Brian's cock and his lips began to leave wet kisses down the underside of Brian's penis, his head tilting as his lips sucked on the vein. His hand slid down a little further, resting on Brian's ballsac while he drew lower with his lips, flicking his tongue at the base of the cock. He could feel those curls from Brian's balls, brushing his chin as he gave ample attention to the base of Brian's cock. "Mmmmm, God you taste good." Justin whispered, his tongue licking upward, so far up he made it to the head again and began to draw a heart across the top of the thick cock. Brian's penis tasted sweet and salty and thick and it made Justin's mouth water.

Brian's body jerked and shook his head falling back as louder moans crept out. "I... I can't take it..." Brian groaned, dying to place his hands on Justin's head and control the direction in which Justin moved, but he couldn't. The knot was tight and all he could do was curl his toes and spread his legs even more, raising them from the chair as Justin took him in his mouth again.

Brian twisted his hips and made love to those lips, those red, puffy lips.

"Mmmm, right there... oh God, right there honey, please... oh honey, right there..." Brian moaned, his voice cracking as it went an octive higher. He felt Justin locked his fingers in his pubic hair and his other hand rub his balls, squeezing them to bring his seed higher.

(Tie me) Tie me up, tie me down

Make me moan real loud

(Make me moan real loud)

Take off my clothes

(Take off my clothes)

No one has to know (Tie)

Whisperin'

I wanna feel a soft rope burn

(No one has to know)

Wanna feel a - Rope burn

One in the mornin'

I'm feelin' so free and sensual

Lyin' here wearin'

Just my imagination for you

Ooh, the senses will do

Can you feel the warmth of the

Candlelight embrace your body

I'm feelin' the hot candle wax

Drippin' down the small of my back

More precum dribbled from the head and Justin quickly licked it up, praying for more of the salty liquid to spill. Justin's hand raised a little higher and he felt how tight and taut Brian's stomach was, his breathing accelerated beyond control. "Uh, uh... fuck..." Brian grunted, lifting his hips again, moving them from side to side to smear his cock across Justin's face. Justin smiled, loving the feel of the throbbing cock running over his lips, his nose, his chin, his cheeks. It was hot and fevered and ready to explode.

Justin licked his lips, tasting his mouth and Brian's cock over every portion of his mouth. His tongue licked out and ran over the head of Brian's cock again, falling downward and upward and across Brian's thick underside. He felt Brian's balls pull up and he smiled again. "So good... oh yes, you taste so good Rocky..." Justin whispered breathlessly before swallowing Brian's cock again.

You wanna know what my tongue feels like?

You like that?

Janet Jackson's moans were drownded out by the sound of Brian's. "Mmmph, mmph, mmph, please, please... oh God, please..." Brian panted, his legs shaking and his body fell down, the pressure too much for him. Justin sunk lower and lower. A little lower. Further down. His tongue lapped over the velvet skin and his lips went further down. Lower. There. Right there. Justin felt Brian in his throat and Brian felt fireworks sizzling around him. Justin's lips brushed against pubic hair and he breathed in Brian's scent again. Justin swallowed and let his throat convulse against Brian's cock, deep-throating him. Justin could feel Brian's penis pulsate all throughout his mouth and in his throat. Brian was his and he could feel everything that Brian wanted in his mouth.

(Tie me) Tie me up, tie me down

Make me moan real loud

(Make me moan real loud)

Take off my clothes

(Take off my clothes)

No one has to know (Tie)

Whisperin'

I wanna feel a soft rope burn

(No one has to know)

Wanna feel a...

Brian's sweaty hands clamped together, his back arched high, he stood on his tip-toes, and groaned shakily. "Justin, Justin, Justin, Justin!" he called out, finally released his seed into Justin's throat, thick, rich ropes of cum coating Justin's throat and Justin didn't choke at all. He had become accustom to Brian's fat penis and took the load without trouble, swallowing happily, tasting that sweet cum as it was released in quick spurts. He nursed on the cock, licking at it as it began to come a little softer and he let it free from his throat and from his mouth.

Justin moaned as the cock fell out of his mouth, swallowing again. He hummed quietly, petting the sensitive penis as Brian's breathing slowed. "Thank you... heh heh, thank you... oh God thank you..." Brian panted out, slumping lower in the chair. Justin traced the skin of Brian's inner thigh and just listened to his pants, his praise. He took in breaths of Brian's scent, his musk and savored it. "God thank you..." Brian whipsered again, his head staying titled back. "Oh God, you were so good... oh baby, you were so good, so gentle, so rough... so good..." Brian breathed out, trying to sit up in the chair.

Justin smiled, sitting back on his heels as Brian opened his legs further and regained his strength in the chair. "Baby, what about you? Don't you want to untie so I can help you get off too?" Brian asked, sitting up. Justin grinned wickedly and sat back further, spreading his legs. Brian arched an eyebrow, staring at the large wet spot on Justin's boxer-briefs. "Trust me baby, you helped me get off." Justin grinned, rubbing a hand over the wet spot. Brian giggled quietly, still fighting his restraint. "It was my pleasure honey." Brian smiled.

Justin leaned forward and kissed Brian's inner thigh, resting his head in Brian's lap. "Happy birthday Rocky." Justin whispered, closing his eyes. Brian closed his own eyes and slouched in the chair until he was comfortable, Justin's body between his legs and his hands finally pulling free of the bandanna. "Thank you Beanie." Brian whispered back, resting a hand on Justin's back while enjoying the aftermath of his orgasm.

TO BE CONTINUED...

** A reader asked me to identify the song lyrics that I used during the stories, so here's a list for you... ***

Song Credits (In order of appearance)

• Quater Past Three (J.M.), written for Amanda McLean - Magic's In The Makeup (G. Stefani, T. Dumont), performed by No Doubt - I Need To Be Next To You (D. Warren), performed by Leigh Nash of Sixpence None the Richer - I Wish Me You, performed by Amanda Latona - So Together (Rmx) (G. Roche, S. Pieken/J.M.), written for & performed by Innosense - Keep Movin' (J.M.), written for Backstreet Boys - Just Like A Cowboy (J.M.), written for Backstreet Boys - Sayin' I Love You (J.M.), written for Backstreet Boys - Rope Burn, performed by Janet Jackson

--- Okay, now onto my apologies for again coming out with a new story so late. It's been about two months since Brian's actual birthday and I feel bad for taking so long, but life throws so many curveballs, it's hard for me to hit every one of them. I tried though. Yes, the fan appreciation story is still coming and I'm hoping no one will kill me for taking so long with it! Hopefully, by the beginning of May, it'll be done. I wish I could write as quick as Matthew Time and still have a decent story! LOL. And, if we're all lucky, I'll get really horny one day and write a Brian and Justin sex story. I'm feeling the need to do that lately. We'll see, maybe Lance and Bryce will be in there too. Oh yes, I have taken most of the suggestions from some of you and incorporated into the storyline I have written for the fan appreciation story. Also, send in your votes on who you want JC to be with. After the fan appreciation story is done, an interesting storyline will be coming up that has to do with JC and Brian and Justin too. So with your comments about this story, send in a vote on who you want JC to be with. Nick? Lance? Justin? Nikki? Leighanne? Brian? Whoever (But be reasonable and give a reason why)! So let me know what you thought of this story, who you want JC to be with and whatever else you want to talk about. I'm going to try and reply to all my mails this time around!

Sorry about last time, but things got hectic for me. Okay, well, I hope you enjoyed this story and it was worth the wait. I enjoyed writing it a lot, mainly because it was about Brian and Justin 90% of the time. I miss writing about them all the time, but hey, the readers want to know about other couples too! I'll see you all in May (Go get Janet Jackson's new album)!!! ---