Rolling Stone Written by JM
--- Hello everyone, it's your old pal, JM, writing another story for you. This is a one-shot that goes along with the series 'Angel's Wings.' It follows the storyline already established in the story, up to chapter 7. I hope that this one-shot is received a little better than 'Ride' was. I got sort of a half-and-half feel from readers on that story, so maybe I'll win some of you back with this one. It is written in the perspective that an article would be printed. That means that I wrote this like an article that would have been printed in an issue of Rolling Stone. This article is completely fictional and it based upon the series I have created. If you enjoy it, hate, it, or whatever, e-mail me at: catsfan1@hotmail.com ---
In the Shadows of a Room Article by Jeffery Marrow
Don't call them a boy band because, as of late, they don't meet the qualifications. Don't call them boys anymore, well, because they belch, scratch, work, and have sex like men. In fact, don't call them anything other than the Backstreet Boys because they don't take kindly to it.
One might not get that impression if they looked upon Nick Carter, 20, the youngest of one of Pop's most powerful players, stretched endlessly across the floor of a hotel room grumbling incessentaly while playing a video game and bobbing his spikey hair-covered head to the rattling sounds of Aerosmith. He reminds you of a sixteen-year-old Napster user with one goal in life: Partying. However, that analogy does not suit Nick at all and as his band mate, AJ McLean, 22, groans, "I wish you'd turn that shit off," Nick can't help but reply with a childish antic; he spits out a raspberry.
"He gets mad when I turn the music up loud like this, but he's not half as bad as Kevin," Nick insists, his dosile blue eyes bouncing around as he tries to keep up with the game on the large television screen. Nick is referring to the eldest member of the Backstreet Boys, Kevin Richardson, 29.
He is slumped in a corner of the room, his head hanging low as he sips on a scoulding cup of green tea. "But Kevin's not in the mood today. He's coming down with a little cold and I think he has a hangover," Nick insists, the corners of his mouth spreading out in an even smile.
I thought only children told on each other? Not in the case of the Backstreet Boys. Nick is never too shy to reveal small secrets about his fellow Backstreet Boys, which includes Howie Dorough, 27, and Brian Littrell, 25. In fact, he enjoys it most of the time because he knows they will do the same to him. Childish? Just maybe.
"Kevin was out with a girl last night, an old girlfriend, and I guess she pissed him off and so he got a little tipsy. He does that." Nick admits with a cheeky grin. He begins to bob his head ragedly to the guitar solo and nothing seems to faze him until Kevin speaks. "Nick, shut your trap because you don't know what you're talking about." Kevin grumbles, his voice somewhat scratchy and his face pale.
But Kevin's right. Nick is the first to admit that he doesn't know what he is talking about some of the time. "Man, for awhile, I dated and it really messed me up. I wasn't concentrating at all on the group or my own affairs. I was trying to hold relationship together and that's a hard thing to do," he declares with a more serious tone. That seriousness only lasts a minute as Nick loses once more on his video game. "Fuck!" he exclaims. Of course, this man is twenty; why should he know everything about love at that age? After all, he will be the first to tell you that he doesn't pratice what he sings. He will state clearly that sometimes he finds the Backstreet Boys' music unfullfilling musically, something he'd like to pull away from when he records his own solo album in the middle of next year.
But wait, can a member of a boy band go out on his own and record a solo album? Nick would like to think so. "I don't think because I'm, you know, with the guys that I can't put out my own album and go my own way with just as much respect." Nick boasts. He tosses his controller to the side and sits indian-style in front of the TV. "I think what I have with the guys is great, but I want something else under my belt," Nick says, "Something a little more me."
What is Nick Carter then? He has already admitted that love doesn't describe him. "I don't know," Nick begins, "sometimes I feel like this industry has changed my view on love and relationships. It takes a lot of you and a lot of them and I think that I put in more of me than they do them. So things just don't work." So does Nick have someone right now? The smile blinging off his face after the question is presented is an obvious response, but is it enough? The one member of the Backstreet Boys that has been continuously labeled a hearthrob, questioned about his occasionally weight fluxuations ("It's from being on and off the road so much," Nick asserts), and has had to grow up and become a man in an industry filled with deceitful men has left Nick Carter a little mysterious, but not obvious.
"I think right now, Nick's doing what he wants and he's learning that your relationship can't be everything," Kevin drawls out. His lips slurp in another healthy amount of tea before he finishes, "You have to be focused on your career and your own life and then worry about trying to keep someone else happy."
There isn't a question on whether or not the eldest member of the Backstreet Boys knows about putting things into focus. With the coming release of the Backstreet Boys third album, Standing Alone, and the heavy promotional efforts the men will put forth in the new year, Kevin is lining up all of his priorities and setting them up on a ladder.
"I want to try and reach each goal as I set it," he insists. In earlier years, Kevin didn't set the goals and, therefore, he lost a will to want to reach them. He put forth the most effort to keep the Backstreet Boys together and the least effort on trying to keep himself together. He followed the rules set down by the Backstreet Boys-then controller, Lou Pearlman.
"He's a greedy man, he really is," Kevin laments, "He really put us through the ringer and we've had to work hard to recover from that."
Kevin thinks he has recovered a little better than some. He has set his life into an order he enjoys following and has learned the importance of friends and family over business. Don't let that belief fool you though; Kevin isn't looking to start any family of his own and he is keeping a tight circle of friends and family. "I've learned that the more I put myself out there for others, the less I can trust them," he states with a gruff in his nasily voice.
So was the case when it came to the ex-girlfriend Nick spoke of earlier. "I had to let that relationship go because there was no substance to it," Kevin sighs. "She's a friend now, but a lot of the times, I can't see myself ever going back down that road." "She's gone and ain't coming back," Nick bellows out, pulling Kevin's focus from his words. Kevin is not slow when it comes to shooting the younger man a look that could slice through a diamond, but Kevin lets it die down. He admits that the relationship was unhealthy, as some of his others have been, but he insists he has not lived a life of all bad romances.
"My last girlfriend, she was the best," Kevin grins. Another secret Nick reveals: Kevin's last girlfriend is Nikki Deloach, one-fifth of the girl group Innosense. Nick also admits that all of the Backstreet Boys are fond of Nikki and still stay close to her. But the question is what happened? Why did Kevin lose the best thing he had? Shouldn't a man that sings about never breaking a girl's heart be able to keep a steady girlfriend? Kevin is quick to shake his head and admit to his mistakes. "I'm not perfect and never will be," he says, his voice getting scratchier. Before Nick can reveal another secret, Kevin admits that he cheated on his girlfriend and his life has been "rather empty since she left."
Could it be that the Backstreet Boys are not that perfect? It would seem that way. As AJ releases a loud belch and carelessly scratches his crotch, it's clear that the Backstreet Boys are just trying to be men. "All of us are going through our own little personal things right now and we're trying to take care of those before we really get into promoting this new album and heading off on tour," AJ admits. He yanks out a pack of Marlboro cigarettes from the pocket of his dingy jeans and cocks his feet up on a nearby table.
AJ doesn't need Nick to inform anyone of his troubles, he's open about them. In fact, the tattoo-clad member of the Backstreet Boys declares he's going to tone down his bad boy image a little for two reasons: "I'm married now and I've got a daughter who's going to be watching me."
Yes, AJ just admitted to something his management advised against. His recent marriage to former Innosense member (Yes, the same group Kevin's ex-girlfriend hails from) Amanda Latona left many Backstreet Boys' fans shaky, but no one knew of his seven-month-old daughter, a secret AJ dreaded keeping. "Why the hell should I hide the most beautiful thing to grace this earth," AJ broods before adding, "outside of my mom and Amanda." He holds the tip of a lit cigarette between his lips as he pulls out his wallet. With a few flips, he holds up a photo of his daughter. She has the face and hair of her mother while still maintaining the round brown eyes her father weilds. AJ also refuses to deny that his daughter was born out of wedlock. He believes heavily in God ("Amanda has really brought me back to my religious side," he notes) and does not believe any of his fans should follow in his beer-drinking, often smoking, sex before marriage and a list of other bad habits. "You know, in this business it's about the way you act and not what you do," AJ notes, "but I'm always me. So I'm going to tell everyone about who I am and what I do."
That would mean that AJ admits to having premarital sex, consuming alcohol as he pleases, and carrying a bad habit for smoking. Are all the Backstreet Boys this bad?
"Like I said, each of us has our own personal thing we're going through," AJ restates, "and their problems are just as bad as mine."
AJ doesn't mind revealing that he is having trouble adjustin to the pressures of fatherhood and marriage, as well as balancing his career and watching as his wife tries to break into the music industry. "I hope she gets what she wants out of the business. I keep telling her it's rough and now that she's married and has a kid, I know it's going to be hell for her."
AJ also jokes over his loss of sexual intercourse with his wife because of fatherhood. "We used to, you know, have sex whenever. Now it's like, 'The baby's sleeping,' or 'I'm tired because I had to watch the baby all day," he laughs out. He takes another long drag of his cigarette, tapping his fingers along the chair he reclines in. "It's okay though, I like being a daddy," he adds.
But how does AJ continue to be a Backstreet Boy and still cope with fatherhood and the life he desires to lead? "Shit, it's all about these guys and Amanda. They keep me where I'm at and keep me cool. Without them, I'd be out of the Backstreet Boys tomorrow," he chimes with his smoker-heavy voice. No doubt clings to his voice. The togetherness is evident. They aren't the perfect Pop princes they appear to be when it comes to television appearances. Each guy depends on the other, as AJ adds, "But when it comes down to family matters or raising my kid, I definitely go to Brian."
Brian Littrell, the man who has just entered the room toting a Wendy's bag with a small smile perched on his thin lips, is the eye of the media at the moment. His picture outdoes Nick Carter's in every tabloid and in most teen and adult magazines. Why? What makes this choirboy from Lexington, Kentucky such a big comodity? "I think it's because of this," Brian says candidly while pointing to the solid gold ring nestled around his left ring finger.
Without a doubt, the wedding ring around Brian's finger is one of reasons he has received a vast amount of attention. His recent trip to the MTV Video Music Awards in New York brought out the revelation that Littrell had secretly been married for over a year. The other piece to the puzzle does not require Nick's assistance.
Brian Littrell, a church-going Baptist, who lives healthy and saintly, is married to Justin Timberlake, a young heartthrob in his own right and member of the famed boy-band *NSYNC.
Brian shrugs off the idea that he, a man that was raised on wholesome Southern beliefs, is married to another man. Being called gay has yet to affect him or change him, so says his friends. "The only thing different about Brian is that he doesn't hang out and going clubbing with us like he used to," AJ says before taking another puff of his cigarette.
With his crinkly smiling eyes and sweet country accent, Littrell asserts that he cares little for the public's constant analyzation of his marriage or his choice to be with Justin. "Despite what people think they know, I'm in love with him," Brian professes, "And he's in love with me. We're happy." It's true. Anyone can look Brian in the eyes as he speaks of his husband and see the flickering gleam that runs through his eyes. And if you ask him if the fact that he's six years older than Justin (Justin is 19) affects their marriage, Brian will willingly give you a reply.
"He's mature for his age and he's also got a good grasp on life and love," he says, "A lot of times, I know he's better at this than me. Justin's not just this guy singing for millions of adoring fans, he runs so much more deeper than that. Not everyone will see that side of him, but I feel blessed that I do."
That is an overlying factor in Brian and Justin's choice to keep their marriage secret. Justin does have millions of adoring fans, over eighty-percent being female, and being gay doesn't make it any easier to keep that fan base. How can they do it? What made them get together and hide it for so long? "I can't really explain how it happened, but I remember falling in love with him and I remember proposing to him," Brian explains. He takes a large chunk out of his cheeseburger while leaving the answer to a mystery. "It's not easy for any one of us to date or to have a girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever. We respect the fact that both Brian and Justin kept their marriage a secret for the benefit of the groups," Kevin, Brian's cousin, finishes Brian's missing words.
It's not that easy though. Brian also has a secret that Nick makes note of: "Make sure to show them a picture of that little boy of yours." Brian's face brightens at the mentioning of another part of his life, his adopted son.
"Isn't he just too cute," AJ coos after Brian yanks out a few photos of his year-old son. Brian blushes lightly as the photos are passed around to all the occupants of the room. It's agreed. Brian's son is adorable and Brian carries his fatherly pride without conviction. He follows AJ's belief that he should not be ashamed of his son or his marriage to Justin. And when questioned on whether or not Brian is satisfied with Justin, Brian's country twang questions, "Do you mean sexually? Are you talking about sex?"
Laughter is released through the room and again Brian blushes.
"Go ahead, tell 'em," Nick groans, rolling his eyes at Brian. Laughter continues before Brian finally admits with a boasting grin, "The sex is good. I don't want my momma to hear me say this, but I'm very satisfied."
Brian isn't all good, even though he'd like to think he tries to live a holy life. He insists that he will instill the same Southern traditions he was raised with into his son and that he will always cherish his family and marriage. Religion-wise, Brian hopes to raise his son in the church because he and Justin share the same religious beliefs and backgrounds. A little too perfect? Yes. Brian has his troubles, including acceptance of his marriage from not only his fans, but also friends. "Fans cried and there were some people who were hateful towards us," he explains, "A lot of drama came about when we told everyone. In fact, we still deal with some of the shit people say about us."
Did Brian say shit? Could it be that he sometimes feels overwhelmed by the pressure of the industry he lives in?
"All the time," he sighs. He takes another hunk out of his burger before taking a sip of his soda.
"Some of us were shaky towards the idea of those two being together just because Justin was from the other group," Nick says forthrightly. The other group? Isn't he referring to *NSYNC, the group that is getting as much claim-to-fame as the Backstreet Boys are? *NSYNC's overwhelming sales figures for their sophmore album, Another Level, has left the Backstreet Boys in a small slump and has hurt their credibility in some areas of the business. Of course it'll cause turmoil between the members of the group; Brian's married to the enemy. To be clearer, Brian's sleeping with the enemy, nightly according to AJ ("They're a real affectionate couple. They kiss, touch, whatever freely in front of us," AJ declares). This makes it difficult for Brian to live the sweet dreams he prays for and often leaves him at ends with the group. "They get on me a lot about it, but deep down, I know they like Justin," Brian goes on, "I mean, they like him, but when they say things about *NSYNC, it's not against Justin. It's against what has happened between us."
It's out. The men of the Backstreet Boys do have problems with their rivals in *NSYNC. There is a love-loss between the groups that seems to be hidden unde a mirage of what they say on television. The two groups that toured together during a portion of 1999 and 2000 can't seem to get along as of late. But don't put that on Brian and Justin. They keep their private lives separated from their personal lives. That was not always the case as Nick, again, reveals, "They broke up a couple of times because of the business and the push-and-pull between the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. They couldn't handle the strain on their relationship, but it's worked out for the good."
That's proven in the smile Brian carries when AJ begins to sing out the words to the song Brian composed for Justin back in 1998 (The ill-famed Just from their sophmore album Millennium). Justin was but seventeen then and Brian was already head over heels in love with him. "After watching them together, we all knew this was the one for Brian," AJ says. And it didn't take long for Brian to see it either; he married Justin on July the fourth in 1999 and hasn't stopped singing to him since.
If there is one Backstreet Boy enjoying the joys of being single, it would be Howie Dorough. The quiet and labeled 'sweet guy of the group' is basking in his ability to "go clubbing when I want, chill wherever I want, and live my life without having to call someone and tell them where I am and what I'm doing." Howie admits he's watched as Nick has battled with relationships ("He just needs a break to figure out what he wants," Howie says secretly) and has heard Brian's cries when he has been away from his husband for too long. Howie prefers enjoying what he has in life instead of having to live it for another.
Don't call Howie selfish though. He's very giving and very kind. He has been a shoulder for each guy to cry on when things have become rocky and insists that he's happy when the others are happy. Sounds sappy, but it's true. He's a sensitive guy who has been the end of many jokes from the guys because he can be too kind.
"I get a little too nice when it comes to fans some times and they try and take advantage of that," Howie admits. That would be the case when one fan offered to have sexual intercourse with Howie in exchange for his phone number (Howie refused her) or when fans have used him to get to the other guys. "They'll say, 'Yeah, I really love you and could you pass this along to Nick,'" Howie says.
He runs his fingers through his silky straight hair and watches as Nick and Brian begin to play the video game Nick lost at so long ago. Howie is the first to admit that each of the guys has matured and continue to do so. The Catholic-raised man believes that their experiences as a group have brought them closer together and have also made them strong independently.
"Once Nick goes to record his album, I think we're all going to do a little something here and there," Howie says, his eyes studying his band mates. His own plans involve writing more material for his sister, upcoming singer Pollyana, and opening up his own club in Orlando. Howie prefers the business-side over the production side, though he admits that he is thankful that he will have another song written by himself on the new Backstreet record. His talent is seen by the others, as Brian notes, "Howie can really sing! Me and him have this duet that we're gonna record for a soundtrack once we get clearance from our label." That's right, Howie can sing. Does he always get to though? No. His chances have been rare in the past, but more doors are opening and he promises that his voice will be heard throughout half of the new album.
With all this freedom, does Howie miss having a girlfriend? Yes and he won't deny that. "I'm not this guy who thinks he can go through life without a girlfriend," he states, "I just don't want one right now." Is that true though? Could one of the Backstreet Boys be happy without having someone to hold? AJ doesn't think so. "He's like us. He wants to get laid, he wants to have a girl to call, and he wants to talk about it like we do. He just choses not to because he's afraid of getting hurt."
It's been the case for Howie as of late. Nick, being the tattle-tale he is, says, "Howie's been seeing a girl named Danay on-and-off for awhile now, but he won't get in a relationship with her." Why Howie? What's there to lose? Freedom? It's clear that Howie is not the biggest fan of masturbation as AJ again notes, "The real thing is a lot better and we prefer that, but we're men and we'll rub one out if we have to." So where's the problem?
"I don't know if I'm ready to hop in a relationship," Howie finally admits. Though Howie will assure you his feelings for Danay, who also happens to be in the girl-group Innosense (Do we sense a cliche?), are strong and evident, he has a career to focus on. He has brought her as a 'date' to several public functions, including the 1999 Billboard Awards where she and Nikki came in support of their Backstreet men ("Amanda was at home pregnant," AJ reports).
Howie is not as confident as he believes Brian is. "In a lot of ways, I look up to him for being as brave as he is to be with Justin," Howie revels.
"Man, I was nervous as hell when I got married and I was nearly shittin' in my pants when I was at the MTV awards with Justin," Brian laughs out, his church-going image only fading for a brief moment. It's nothing to fuss over though. Howie believes that his moment with love is coming and he won't rush it. He sees no wedding bells in the future.
"If Kevin gets back with Nikki, he might be next," Howie proposes, an idea that both Nick and Kevin sigh at. "We're just trying to be the Backstreet Boys right now," Nick disagrees, a statement that has power. But as Kevin continues to sip his green tea, in the shadow of a room, in a chair with his face hanging downward, it is clear that he is trying to reach another goal and his friends will be walking with him every step.
THE END.
--- Well, was it any good? I hope so! I worked at it and it came naturally to me. I hope I gave enough of Brian for you. It gives a focus to each guy in the Backstreet Boys and their relationships. I try to give references to events of the past, including Nick's relationships with Lance and JC. Though I couldn't come out and say it, I hope I broke down some things for you. Keep in mind it's an article in 'their' reality. I also tried to write the article as they would for Rolling Stones, which means no-holds-bar. Everything is blunt in one of their articles and I hope I didn't a nice job of mimicking their style. I took only small portions from the current Backstreet Boys article for assistance. Remember, let me know what you think and the next story from 'Angel's Wings' will be out soon. ---