Brian and Justin

Angel's Wings (Part 19) Written by JM

--- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write? Hmmm, it's about celebrities... yeah, that sounds good. Two very moral celebrities too... ooh yeah, that makes it better. Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual personal lives. Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE WAY! Is that it? I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have your parents permission. Parental Guidance is suggested. Need some popcorn? Maybe a soda? Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is Golden'! Okay, let's move on to to the previews... ---

--- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back! That's right and I thought I could stay away. No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood. I've just got to write. Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in the song of Brian and Justin's lives. Please remember that these stories are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and Justin' and 'Just Beginning'. This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the attention in the world. If you don't know by now, send all comments to: catsfan1@hotmail.com Thank you very much! Enjoy the show... ---

--- Feature Presentation: Angel's Wings, Rated NC-17 ---

Damn, he missed him. Every waking moment he spent in Orlando, he missed him and missed him more. At one point, he thought his heart stopped working when it took hours to hear from him. And how long had it been? Maybe a month or a little less? But it was still too long, too long for him. It was pure tortue. Only phone conversations, sometimes too brief to even remember. No visits. Not this time. Management didn't want it. Security didn't want it. Hell, he thought the group might not want it either. Just phone calls, an occasional e-mail and a few postcards and packages. There was no touching, kissing or staring into each other's eyes. Just space and an air of broken dreams.

When he woke up this morning, he had butterflies, small and tingly in his stomach but he still missed him. He could barely brush his teeth or wipe the sleep from his eyes. In the shower, he hummed happy tunes for awhile before lowering his head and singing a few chords of 'Gone.' When he washed his hair, he thought he felt tears leave his closed eyes. He wasn't sure if it was the hot, steamy water. But he knew shower water didn't taste like salt. He was overjoyed and yet still empty at the same time. As he stroked himself in the cloud of steam, a strong hand wrapped around his aching cock while the other pinched at his npples, he wished for his lover's hand pleasing him. Even when he came, he still moaned out the name that he wished to say over and over a thousand times during the night.

His eyes brightened up some when he looked in the mirror, drying his hair while dabbing wet feet on a towel on the floor. It was almost over, at least for a little bit. Time was slowly trickling by and soon enough, he'd see that man again. He'd hold him, kiss him and pray God never made him let that man go.

He didn't put on any cologne. His lover was loving the new, fresh-smelling scent he carried. His lover wanted to smell Herbal Essences instead of quick sprays of Safari or Romance. He kept his hair trimmed short because his lover liked it that way. His lover loved to twist his fingers in those short, very blonde crops. He still missed how his lover gave his hair a little tug right before he was about to climax in his mouth.

He wore a smile of hope when he dressed his daughter while his son sat in the middle of the floor watching a Charlie Brown tape. "Snoopy!" his son had exclaimed and it was all he could do from scooping his son up and screaming all over the house with laughter. He knew his children missed their other father. He had watched them play, sleep, eat, and exist with both of their fathers there to love them. Now it had been almost a month and he could only feel half of their joy. Most nights, he slept with both of his children in his bed. His daughter slept on his chest just as his son did when he was little while his son curled up to his side, twisting his small fingers around one of his father's. It was precious and beautiful but still devoid of that special feeling he got when his husband was there to share in that innocent moment.

Even sitting at the airport, while sporting comfrtoable clothes and a hat pulled backwards on his golden hair, he missed him. Desperately. His fingers tapped anxiously on his knees, his head glancing around occasionally to watch for a sign, a hint of his husband. His son sat next to him, toying with a stuffed animal while his daughter sat between his legs, her eyes dancing with glee as she watched patrons pass. In this airport, he wasn't known. He kept silent and to himself, hoping to remain unrecognized. No one knew when the flight was coming in. Not a soul, outside of family and close friends, knew *NSYNC was returning to Orlando for this holiday.

Was that 'Gone' playing over the loud speaker? Suddenly, he didn't know. He didn't know if it was his need for his lover or his want to see a bright smile on his children's lips again that made him think he could hear that song anywhere, playing that hauntingly powerful melody that always made him ache but seemed to comfort him too. He knew he heard one of his best friend's speak. He knew that voice anywhere and he found a small smile to offer when Nick Chasez scooped up his son and twirled him around, causing a rainbow of laughter to leave his son's lips.

"Look at this little guy. He's just like his Dad; always charming." Nick chimed, holding Angel tightly in his arms as he slowed his spinning. Brian shook his head with a quiet laugh, pulling his daughter up into his lap. "Well, you know it's all Brian's fault. He's always gotta be that perfect gentlemen and all." Kameelah Kirkpatrick teased Brian, adjusting her son Kaleb in her arms. "I try every day to be more of a slob guys." Brian joked, slouching slightly in his seat. "Oh get real. On tour, you're the biggest slob." Nick remarked with a smirk. He looked upon his friend with amicable blue eyes, thankful he and his friend had finally found the pathway back to their true friendship.

Brian eyed Meelah as she found a seat next to him. He watched the way she held Kaleb with the tenderness only a mother could carry. 'She does it all.

She's only twenty-two and still maintains this maturity about her.' Brian thought to himself as his daughter moved slightly in his lap. He pet her hair affectionatelly, knowing she was restless in his lap. "How's he doing?" Brian asked, nodding his head toward Kaleb. Meelah took a quick glance at her son before replying, "He's doing pretty good. He's standing on his own and he's trying to walk too. Other than that, he just misses his father." Brian nodded, well aquainted with the feelings Meelah expressed. Any time, every time he looked at his children, that feeling sunk into his stomach. That peice of sunshine that gleamed when Justin was around just got dimmer and dimmer. He wondered if it was just maybe his eyes. Maybe his blue eyes were too clouded with tears sometimes? Maybe he really didn't know how much his children missed their father because he was too busy missing his husband? Maybe the wait was too much?

That wait had been enough. Brian had felt something twist in his stomach before Nick said, "Hey, I think that's them." A smile exploded in his heart when he caught a glimpse of Joey and then Lance, followed by Chris and JC. And then, finally, there he was. He carried a lofty smile, joking with a few of the bodyguards as he walked smoothly, nothing but ease carrying him on light feet. Brian had to blink back his own smile when seeing him. His buzzed short hair was covered by an old white bandanna, but Brian could still see sideburns and that faintly evident goatee. He watched that smile dent his cheeks and raise them higher while thick brown eyebrows lifted with excitement. Muscles flexed dangerously too beautiful on his arms as he adjusted his luggage. Brian watched the way that tattoo of a cross bulked and then ironed out again as his husband moved the bag on his arm once more.

He sighed under his breath, biting his lower lip as his husband licked his lips and continued to jest with the bodyguards and even Joey now.

"I bet you want to go see your Daddy, huh?" Nick said, catching Brian's attention briefly. Brian brought his eyes to Nick as he continued to hold Angel while standing with his won husband, JC. Brian winced a little, the sight of the two with his son not something he could ever get used to. But Brian didn't have the nerve to get his son right now. He wanted to get his husband. He wanted to sweep him up into his arms and hold him tight, leaving light kisses across his face.

"I know you missed us and all, but you don't have to get up and bum rush us." Chris remarked sarcastically, nudging Brian while sitting with his wife and son. Brian squinted his eyes at Justin before turning his head in Chris' direction, pressing out a kind smile. "Sorry." he muttered, nervously brushing a hand over his daughter's shoulder. "I hope you're not too far gone to at least go say 'Hi' to Justin." Chris added, slouching in his seat with Kaleb laying on his chest. Brian shook his head, smiling when finally hearing his husband's name uttered. He sratched his ear nervously, glancing back toward his husband, watching Justin stay huddled near the bodyguards and Joey. "Come here Autumn." Meelah said lovingly, lifting the five-month-old from Brian's lap, permitting him to stand and move as he desired. Nothing chained him, held him or restrained him. He was free and he did stand, his heart moving him in one direction.

I am colorblind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready, I am ready

I am ready

It was romantic in a chaste way. It was something from a movie, Brian moving through people, barely acknowledging them because his painted blue eyes were set on one person. A flicker of an innocent smile illuminated in his pink lips as he moved. His palm were somewhat sweaty and a song continued to roll through his mind. Had he seen this scene before? Maybe performed in a different way but the endings so similiar? Both were so beautiful.

When he reached him, when he finally stood before Justin, his heart raced but his outer appearance was calm. He was Brian. He looked into deep blue eyes, eyes that were once lit with laughter but now bright with wonderous stains of love. He didn't think he even knew how to speak to Justin again, but he was going to try. He had to say something because a simple smirk was gracing Justin's lips and he was tilting his head to the side to admire Justin just the way he did when he had only spent hours without Justin.

"I can't believe you're here." Brian said with a soft, filling country accent. His words carried like mist in the air, visible only to Justin. "I wouldn't miss these two days for the world." Justin replied with a charming grin, finding Brian's eyes more comforting than anything else that existed. He raised a hand and carefully ran it across Brian's cheek, making sure it was real, making sure he was real. Everything that stirred through Justin's muscles vibrated against Brian's skin, healing Brian. They were together again. They were whole again.

I am taffy stuck and tongue tied

Stutter shook and uptight

Pull me out from inside

I am ready, I am ready

I am ready, I am fine

Brian stepped closer to Justin, hearing voices trying to speak to him. He didn't care anymore. If patrons caught them, saw them took pictures of them, he didn't care. He would let the world know once again how much he cared for his husband. "I'm so happy to see you." Justin said pleasantly, nibbling cautiously on his lower lip. "I..." Brian caught himself, his mind drowning in Justin's striking blue eyes. They were a pool of Atlantis, treasures burried so deep that Brian thought he could never swim deep enough to understand them. "I'm in love." Brian said with confidence. Yeah, he knew the scene. He knew those words. He sung them, spoke them and even lived them. With Justin, he was those words.

Brian caressed Justin's smooth cheek, his fingers grazing over beautiful skin before brushing blonde bristles of hair. He leaned forward and cupped Justin's chin, leading Justin to him. His lips pressed, then smoothed, and then opened. They ran over Justin's lips delicately, remembering the feel and unfathomable bliss they gave him. He moved and shifted his head, angling to taste Justin more. His tongue licked carefully at Justin's bottom lip before slicking over Justin's teeth. He was here. He was where he needed to be for weeks. He was lost in Justin's kiss, his hand moving from Justin's chin to his collarbone. He pulled down the front of Justin's vintage shirt to caress the skin of Justin's collarbone. His lips still moved to the melody in his head. They played each piano chord with caution and pleasure. His moans were quiet and rolled from his mouth to Justin's. His lips were sore and bruised, but he couldn't stop. He had to kiss Justin. He had to love him.

I am covered in skin

No one gets to come in

Pull me out from inside

I am folded and unfolded and unfolding

He pulled back briefly before kissing those pouty, battered lips again, only momentarily this time. He licked them with a swift tongue and pecked them. "I'm so in love." Brian whispered, watching Justin's lips and the way quick breaths kept fleeing from them. He brushed his thumb over Justin's bottom lip, blushing at the way he left his husband. Did he have that power? There were times where he thought his age left him incapable of wearing his husband out. He thought he wasn't strong enough or bold enough.

He knew Justin was.

"Did you miss me much?" Justin finally asked, his tongue laced with small amounts of sarcasm. "More than words can express." Brian replied, looking up into Justin's eyes. There was still a hint of innocence glowing in them.

"Me too Rocky." Justin responded clearly and openly. He inclined and kissed Brian, this time guiding his husband toward that world they had exited minutes before.

I am colorblind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready, I am ready

I am ready, I am fine

I am fine

I am fine

"Gosh, Justin, you know you have a son and a daughter too, right?" Nick commented sardonically, scooting his body within that space that Brian and Justin owned. Brian pulled his lips from Justin's, frowning a little as he did. He watched Justin wipe his own mouth with the back of his hand, turning to Nick with peering eyes. "I didn't forget Nick. Just got a little.. uh, tangled." Justin smiled, lowering his bag to the floor. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Nick scoffed, happily handing Angel to his father. Justin seized his son in his arms, a jovial and unmanageable smirk warming his red lips. He lovingly pushed his son's blonde hair back, glaring into Angel's soft blue eyes. "I missed you so much Bastian." Justin gushed, brushing his thumb along the bridge of his son's nose.

A smile, a drop of that irresistable sunshine that coated Angel's lips left Justin breathless. He couldn't take his eyes away. He couldn't let him go. He had to hold Angel. Everything else was just there. Angel was something important. Angel was his son, his first child. He was Justin's free spirit, his innocence, and his laughter. "Daddy.. you home?" his son questioned innocently. He was purity in its finest shape. Intelligence was personified in him and that smile kept Justin from laughing at his son. He only grinned, a large grin that everyone could feel. "For now, Bastian. I came home for your birthday." Justin replied proudly, receiving another smile from his son.

Justin adjusted Angel's body in his arms and watched as his son reached out for his necklace. He permitted Angel to fool with the thin gold chain, his eyes glued on the cross Justin wore. Justin sucked in his lower lip, his body covered in heat. He felt Brian's eyes on him. Everytime he looked at Angel or spoke to Joey or glanced in Nick and JC's direction, he felt Brian's eyes. He wondered if maybe it was fascination or maybe there was something wrong with Justin's appearance. He slyly glared back at Brian occasionally and his husband didn't flinch. Only solid blue eyes with a foolish grin to match. "What'cha starin' at Rocky?" Justin boldly asked, an equally silly and ridiculous smile on his own moist lips. Brian winked at him and the bashfullness in Justin arose. Blush splashed through his cheeks and he glanced down at his son. "You." Brian finally replied in a confident tone. He didn't shake or shiver. He remained calm and maybe a little too cool for Justin. "Well, stop. It's buggin' me." Justin sneered, lifting his eyes again. Brian rolled his eyes and giggled lowly, lacing a finger into one of Justin's beltloops. "No. I haven't seen you in three weeks and this is my makeup time for the times I didn't get to stare at you when you slept in my arms." Brian stated, tugging Justin forward. Justin nibbled his lower lip again, remaining still when Brian placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. "You stare at me when I sleep?" Justin wondered as Brian smoothed the hair down on his arm. "Baby, that's a whole 'nother talk show." Brian teased, mouthing another kiss onto Justin's cheek. "Ugh. Just take me to my daughter." Justin snickered, lacing his fingers with Brian's.

Justin found himself staring at Brian as he toyed with Autumn's outfit. He could see small signs of strain, but he didn't want to question them. He had seen the news while he was away. He had watched the announcement on MTV. His husband had warned him only an hour before the announcement went public. Brian wasn't ready for it. He wanted to help, to be there for his friend, but Justin knew Brian couldn't. Brian could never understand something that serious. Brian couldn't accept failure and somewhere, somehow, Justin knew Brian felt as if his friend had failed him.

"Are you okay?" Justin asked, rubbing a hand over his husband's shoulder. Brian glanced up with curious eyes, hiding the burden. It was Justin. How could he hide it? Justin knew it all, though Brian never understood how. "I'm fine." Brian replied, short and sweet. Wasn't that the way he was supposed to reply? Simply? "This AJ things really bugging you, isn't it?" Justin wondered, scooting closer to Brian. He watched Brian look down, hide his vulnerability. Justin reached out and took Autumn into his own arms, holding his daughter closely while rubbing his knee along Brian's. "I'm trying to understand it, I guess. In a way, I feel like he abandoned us. He left all of us a long time ago and he's just now admitting it to himself.

He left his family behind, abandoned them because he couldn't accept what was real. And I don't think it's right." Brian commented, barely lifting his face for Justin to view. Justin nodded, laying a hand on his husband's thigh, giving it a light squeeze. He knew how to comfort Brian.

"He could've at least tried. I know sometimes you have to get professional help for these kinds of things, but... I did it. I gave it all up because I didn't want to lose you. I had something that meant the world to me and I feel like..." Brian stopped himself. He did not want to get in touch with those feelings again. Those feelings of hatred bothered him. He didn't want to feel animosity toward his friend in a trying time, but he did. "You feel like by him not doing it himself, he was basically saying that there isn't anything out here that'll make want to do it for himself." Justin said, saying the words Brian was scared to speak aloud.

That's all Brian needed. He nodded and sighed, rubbing his temples impatiently. "I'm not trying to be selfish, but I think that's so unfair. He's saying that the group's not enough, that our friendship isn't enough... that his wife or his daughter isn't enough and I think that's so sick." Brian said with a small hiss. He turned his head away from Justin, sheilding tears behind lashes.

Comfort bathed him. His husband's hand reached a little higher until it rested on his hip. He felt Justin's thigh pressed to his and soon Justin's shoulder was nudged against his. "You're not selfish Brian. Everyone's battle is different. You did it for me. Nick, at one point and time, gave up alcohol for the group and for JC. AJ... he may look strong, but maybe he's not that strong. Losing his grandmother and still being separated from his wife was probably a little too much and he probably didn't know who to give it up for." Justin explained. He nuzzled his nose against Brian's ear and waited, listened for it. It came quietly, softly, but still convincingly. "I love you," Brian whispered and turned his head, letting their lips meet for something that gave Brian a reason to believe.

"Hey, you two." Joey's voice came without warning, causing Justin to pull away. He licked his lips quickly, a lingering sweet flavor from his husband's lips still there. "Yeah Joey?" Justin inquired, glancing up to his friend with a shameful grin. "You two better hurry up and get home. I'm not throwing a pool party at my place for you two if you're not going to show." Joey commanded. Justin and Brian laughed softly, moving away from each other. "Okay, sorry Joe. We're on our way home right now." Justin said between snickers. "You better be, boy. I'm throwing one of the best bashes in honor of my friends' second wedding anniversary and it's really going to suck if the guests of honor aren't there." Joey insisted, not in the least bit subtle with his hints. Brian stood slowly and assisted his husband in standing. "On our way Joey." Brian sung, clutching Justin's hand and signalling toward Lonnie. "Thank you." Joey replied sarcastically, smiling as he followed the Littrells down the terminal and toward the parking garage.

There was music and sunshine and that lingering scent of barbeque roaming through the air. Music? Sunshine? Laughter? Oh, my. But that was the typical atmosphere for the Fourth of July, right? Sure, but it wasn't a celebration for the holiday. It was a party for a couple that had defied the odds. A couple that had set new standards for celebrities. A couple that was in love and no matter what direction life forced them in, they kept the same steady stride.

Joey rushed through his large home, a half-drunken bottle of Heineken in one hand and a towel in the other. He started the celebration early, refusing to await his friends' arrival. He swirled the amber liquid around in the deep green bottle, humming a soft tune as his barely wet feet trodded across the wood floor. 'Shouldn't have dipped my feet in the water. Wade must've thought it was time to play when he saw me get that close to the water.' Joey complained to himself, glancing down at the large damp spots on his loose wifebeater. He sighed heavily, listening to the echoing sound of the doorbell once again. 'And damn that Danay for helping him,' he fussed, taking another quick swig of the alcohol. "Hey, quit with that noise already!" Joey shouted out, quickening his steps. He watched as Nikki and Mandy breezed by him, giggling and pointing at his shirt as they did. "Ha ha ladies. You better tell your friend Danay that she's in for a rude awakening when I get back out there." Joey bellowed out, continuing his stride toward the front door. "Anything you say stud." Mandy snickered, throwing an arm around Nikki's shoulder while doubling over with laughter. Joey groaned loudly, scrubbing his wildly brown hair with his towel.

It was funny at first, but now it was too damn near annoying to hear the jokes. He was going to make Wade suffer. He was going to throw Danay into his pool, head first. And he wished Britney would arrive already. What took one girl so long to make a twenty minute trip from a hotel to his house? 'She's taking her time on purpose. She wants me to suffer because I'm not her boyfriend and she frankly doesn't give a flying fuck if I'm waiting or sleeping as long as I want her there.' Joey grumbled to himself, finally reaching out and twisting the knob.

"And I would walk five hundred miles..." Justin sang as the door flew open, snapping his fingers as he danced foolishly in front of the door, his unruly grin lighting a smile on Joey's pinkish lips. "Uh, happy anniversary?" Joey said with a baffled expression. "You bet it is." Justin cheered, fiddling with the necklace he wore.

Justin shot his friend a crooked smirk before escorting his son inside, holding Angel's hand tightly as Angel glanced around the house curiously. "Say hello to Uncle Joey Bastian." Justin instructed, turning his son to face his friend. Joey winked at his God-son, causing a rippling smile to form on Angel's lips. "Hello." Angel peeped out, shyly turning back to his father. "Hey buddy." Joey replied, tipping his beer in Angel's direction. Joey rotated his head to watch Brian slip into the house. "And I would walk five hundred more." Brian beamed as his daughter patted his muscular, bare arms. "Get in here you fool." Joey laughed out, giving Brian a light shove.

"Hey! Hands off the merchandise." Justin whined, snatching up Brian's hand with a scrunched up face. "Whatever." Joey gushed, sipping on his beer as Lea and Harold III entered his house. "Hey Joe." Lea chimed, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's arm. "Hey there Lea. 'Sup Harold." Joey replied with an honest smile. Harold III nodded in his direction, following his brother's family through the house. "They're all in the back." Joey called out, but he knew he didn't have to. He knew Justin and Brian already knew where to go.

"Hey, there they are!" Veronica called out as she hiked herself out of the pool. Her usually unmanageable blonde curls were slicked back in a wet, straight, golden mane. She wiped away beads of water before adjusting her pale purple bikini top. She gave a quick wave to Angel, winking at him with a silly expression. "It's about time." Chris jested from a nearby picnic table as he cuddled with his wife under the bright sun. "We had to be fashionably late." Justin teased. He skid his Nike flip-flops across the ground before lifting the front of his wifebeater to adjust the tightness of his black swimming trunks. "Which really means they were trying to get it on." Danay joked while flopping down in a seat next to Mandy and Bryan. Justin mocked a laugh for her, rolling his eyes with a grin. "Hey, there are kids present." Harold III hissed with a mild scowl. "Yeah, Danay. I don't think Howie should hear these kinds of things." Veronica jested while pulling her hair up into a tight ponytail.

Laughs sparked from all around while Harold III held his tight appearance.

He wasn't thrilled to be there. In a way, he wasn't sure if he wanted to celebrate his brother's second year of marriage. His feelings were still torn. Was he to trust his brother-in-law? Could he believe that his brother's marriage was worth saving? Was it worth the hell?

Harold III raised his hand and laid it on his brother's shoulder. He ignored the laughter and the jokes. He waited until he could look into his brother's eyes before saying, "I think it's time we got out of here." Brian cocked his eyebrow upward, disappointed in his brother. "Already?" Brian questioned, his country accent smooth and almost unnoticeable. Harold III merely nodded. He opened his arms to his brother and carefully took Autumn into his embrace. "If you need us, just call my cell. We'll probably be at Chuck E. Cheese for awhile and then we'll crash at the house." Harold III remarked, stepping back with Autumn quietly resting in his arms.

Lea sighed, slipping strands of her short blonde-brown hair behind her ear before offering her hand to Angel. "Come on Angel. We're going to Chuck E. Cheese." Lea cheered, hoping to make the transition smooth for the child. Justin reluctantly released his son's hand, watching Harold III edgy expression with pain shifting through his heart. "Yeah!" Angel exclaimed as he dashed over to his nanny, unaware of his fathers' plans. "Yep, come on little buddy." Harold III smiled, brushing his hand over his nephew's head. He let his soft brown eyes find Brian, presenting his brother with a kind smile. Brian could not return the kindness. He folded his arms and wrinkled his brow. "You two be good for Uncle Harold and Lea." Justin said loudly as his children began to exit with his brother-in-law and his friend.

"Don't worry Just." Lea replied, sending a knowing stare to her employer. Justin nodded, standing beside himself as he watched his children fade into the shifting shadows of the house.

"So.. new piece of jewelry to flaunt all around public television?" Wade questioned, slinking an arm around Justin's neck to lift a black chord necklace. He admired the pendant that hung tightly around the ebony rope. It was a marble pendant, the outline of a beautiful heart carved in the middle. Inside of the heart was the word 'Rocky,' carved into perfection. "That's so cute." Nikki cheered, leaning on Brian for a clearer view. Brian blushed lightly, proud of the gift he had picked up on his short visit to New York City. "Until the last breath..." Wade read softly, his eyes focused on the pendant. He smiled sweetly at the inscription on the back, releasing the round adornment. "Aaww, he's still so romantic." Nikki gushed, giving Brian a light shove as she moved off of him. Brian blushed once more, turning his eyes downward when he catches Justin staring at him. He can't handle the admiration. "It's really nice Brian." Wade commented as he began to stroll away from the quiet couple. "Thanks." Brian said quietly and he was too scared to look up at Justin. He was too afraid to see those sunset-beautiful blue eyes watching him in a loving, adoring way.

Justin slipped a hand around Brian's wrist and lifted his hand. Brian looked up curiously. He was still scared, but the fear began to wash away when Justin smiled on him. "Want to sit by the pool?" Justin questioned, lifting his husband's hand a little higher. Brian's wrist bent, relaxing in Justin's soft grip. "Sure baby." Brian stammered out, lost in Justin's beauty. He watched that crooked grin form, revealing pearly white teeth and beautiful red lips. His heart fluttered and then it thudded. He watched Justin raise his hand higher and kiss his knucles, each with one delicate lips. Brian swallowed his heart, his knees shifting as he watched Justin kiss his hand. "Aight, lte's go baby." Justin said with a dragging seduction in his voice. Brian merely nodded, following his husband toward the pool.

The beat thudded through the air, a new sound that only a few had heard before. A voice came over the stereo system and the sensuality of the song flooded the area. Hips shook and a head nodded with the pounding bass. Slightly curled, honey blonde hair was swung behind shoulders and a tight, almost exposing top was adjusted by docile hands. Her lips were glossy pink and her eyes were smudged in eyeshadow. Her peireced belly was exposed and only tattered, fashionable jeans hung over perfectly curved hips. Brown eyes glanced back to a friend following her and she smiled. She was in control now. Eyes were slowly falling on her as she strutted into the backyard.

All you people look at me like I'm a little girl

Well did you everything think it'd be okay

For me to step into this world

Always saying "Oh little girl - Don't step into the club"

Well I'm just trying to find out why

Cause dancing's what I like, yeah

"Girl, I think we look hot." Christina Aguilera remarked while shaking her blonde and red-streaked ponytail around. Her hair was pulled up tightly into the messy, but stylishly arranged ponytail. She pulled on the thin strap to her red top, shaking her hips to the melody that echoed throughout the yard. "Yeah, I guess." Britney Spears agreed, her eyes focused on her friends as she swaggered through the yard. She could hear him calling for her, trying to reach over the sound of her own voice moaning through the speakers. She rolled her eyes and smiled. She was in control. She was directing the relationship. But there wasn't really a relationship, was there? Just talks, here and there, about nothing too important. Surely not about them. They weren't ready to talk about them again. She was ready, but together, they were not.

Get it, get it, get it, get it (What)

Get it, get it, get it, get it (What)

Get it, get it, get it, get it (What)

Although I may come off as quiet

May come off as shy

But I feel like talking, feel like dancing

When I see this guy

What's practical, what's logical

What the hell, who cares?

All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there, yeah

Her sensuality, her unbridled waywardness slipped away when she drew closer to her friends. She wasn't trying to draw attention or give grief to Joey. She was just Britney when she saw them. "I think I spot the lucky couple." Britney cooed when she stopped in front of Brian and Justin, watching the two move their legs around in the pool water. Justin turned his head in Britney's direction, a gentle smile on his ruddy lips. "Hey Bit-Bit." Justin spoke softly, keeping his arm wrapped around Brian's shoulders as they sat. "Congratulations you two. Two years strong." Britney prattled with her thick country accent. Justin nodded with his trademark smirk, more than proud to hear the statement. He was overjoyed. He had his Brian. He was right there, his right foot brushing over Brian's left one under the water, and he felt overjoyed with it all. Two years? Hell, it felt like twenty for him. To be with that one man meant an eternity of joy.

Justin felt his husband's thumb run over his knuckles and he sucked in his lower lip. He could feel the heat of his husband's face near his neck and damn if he didn't want to turn and kiss Brian. He kept his blossom-filled blue eyes on Britney, listening to hear rant over their relationship. "Must feel damn good to have a guy like that all the time." Britney gleamed, watching the way Justin occasionally let his eyes glance back to see Brian. She laid her hands on the waist of her jeans, and waited, trying not to laugh as Brian kissed Justin's neck. "Damn good." Justin snickered, one of Brian's hands slithering up his wifebeater. The cool fingretips, the soft palm, and the way they moved left Justin caught on his words. He tried not to blush when he felt the tip of Brian's index finger brush over his nipple and he fought hard not to swallow his tongue when Brian kept rubbing his nipple and then his pec. "Mmm hmmm, damn good." Justin slurred out, withholding a moan as Brian gave the nipple a slight tug.

I'm a slave for you

I can barely fight it, I cannot control it

I'm a slave for you

I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it

Britney pushed back thick strands of her lengthy blonde hair over her shoulder. She bent down a little and eyed Justin, watching his face fluster. Shades of red blossomed from all ends of his pores, leaving a slick smirk on her lips. She tried to see over his body, tried to catch a glimpse of what made Justin squirm and fidget, but she couldn't. Honestly, she didn't think she wanted to know. Her ex-boyfriend and his husband? Flirting? Caressing? Possibly doing things she didn't even think she was bold enough to do in public? Nope, wasn't anything she wanted to see. Not at all.

"Hey Brit', this guy named Wade is dancing very freaky next to me and I'm afraid he's going to give Jorge a run for his money in a minute." Christina called out to her friend, hre hand tipped up to her mouth as she tried not to watch Wade grind his pelvic area dangerously close to her hip. She was shocked, happy, and uncontrollably confused.

Britney snickered lowly, leaning back up to an erect position. She pulled her pants down a little, a small pink bikini bottom peaking out of them. She gazed upon Wade with mischievous eyes. "Girl, don't even waste your time. He's too young for you." Britney insisted with a healthy accent. Christina laughed loudly, giving Wade a light backward push. "Sorry. I can't do jailbait." Christina giggled, sliding away from Wade. She chuckled lower when hearing Wade's mock whine. "But I can." Britney beamed, strutting toward Wade with a broad smile.

She wiggled her hips to the beat, her mind focused on the erotic choreography to the song. Wade was signalling to her, calling her closer. She brushed her tongue along her soft lips, desperate to draw sex into the air. She knew Joey was watching. She hoped he was watching. She prayed he had his eyes fully focused on her, his heart torn between anger and a desire to be with her.

Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me

To another time and place

Oh baby, don't you wanna dance up on me

Leaving behind my name and age

"She's being a bad, bad, naughty little girl." Brian whispered into Justin's ear before leaving a polite kiss on his lobe. He knows Justin's watching Britney dance sexily against Wade, envoking all sorts of evil, disturbed emotions inside of her ex-boyfriend. His lips drew downward, finding Justin's neck irresistable. He could never figure out what it was that drew him to the neck area, but he sure as hell didn't want to stop. He didn't want to take his lips away from that summer-sweet flesh. He loved that lingering scent of soap and traces of cologne. And that manly scent. Brian loved that smell. He loved Justin's smell. He often found himself smelling Justin's shirts before he washed them. He wanted that scent to forever call upon those memories that warmed his spirit. The ones that left him awe-struck in the morning when he tried to drink his coffee.

His delicately soft, but slightly swollen pink lips kissed lower and found Justin's shoulders. He kissed at the skin, the sun's heat leaving Justin's shoulder hot but smooth. He ran his eyes over the speckles at the top of Justin's shoulders, showing his slight imperfection. Brian loved it. His hand was lifting Justin's wifebeater and he knew soon he wouldn't be kissing at just his shoulders.

He carefully lifted Justin's necklace and found more skin to kiss, suck and taste. His tongue neatly licks at Justin's collarbone and he's sure he hears a tight hiss, then a gasp, and then a low moan. Justin doesn't want to let everyone know what's happening. Justin doesn't want all of his friends to watch him wither and Brian knows it. He presses light, amber-soft kisses on Justin's neck before lifting his head some. His lips catch Justin's chin, his tongue feeling the rough, prickly surface of Justin's golden-brown goatee. They move higher and swallow Justin's bottom lip, teeth racking over the wet skin before he let his tongue roll over it.

"You're being a bad, bad, oh so naughty boy, Rocky.." Justin gasped out, his left hand dragging through Brian's blonde hair. He can't think straight and he wonders if maybe everyone can see the erection aching in his swim-trunks. He's glad he's wearing black. His large hands run over Brian's neck as Brian kisses at his cheek and then the corner of his lip. He strokes the bone at the back of Brian's neck before tugging at Brian's loose shirt. He can't want Brian this bad, but he does and he knows he has to stop before he goes too far and his friends truly know one of the reasons he married Brian.

Somehow, time got the best of Justin. He sat facing Brian on a bench with a curious expression lingering on his face. He fed Brian potato chips while listening to the conversation brewing at the table. "It's just so amazing to me that AJ is finally realizing that this whole situation with Amanda is the cause for his depression and his alcohol abuse." Howie remarked, leaning his elbows on the table. He received several nods from all around the table. "But it's kind of hard to swallow that he couldn't beat the habit or his problems when others have." Wade remarked, shifting his fingers through his long, spiky blonde-black hair. "AJ may come off as a strong man, but he's weak. He did this for so long, with the drinking and the partying and all of his other crap." Howie stated, his head turning slightly at the sound of his girlfriend screaming. He felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips as he watched Joey hurl her into the crystal blue water.

"But at least he admitted to the problem, regardless of what the reasons may have been." Nikki argued lightly, leaning on Wade for support. She eyed Howie with slight contempt, aware of how he thought. He was always the friend when needed, but when things changed and he was affected, he was someone different. He wasn't the Howie they knew. He was the vindictive man that hated to lose.

Justin chewed his lower lip, Brian's tongue licking at his fingers, removing salt and crumbs in a gentle way. Justin felt Brian's hand brush over his short hair, pushing it backward with loving hands. He focused his blue eyes on his husband and smiled when viewing the way Brian licked his lips and twitched his nose. The conversation was bothering him, Justin knew it, but Brian wasn't saying anything. He was just watching Justin, finding something positive to focus on.

"I agree with Nikki. He's seeking help and he's doing what he has to do to make sure he's well again." Chris said, sparking Brian's attention. Brian sighed lowly, pulling back from Justin. He pulled his hand downward, tracing the defintion in Justin's facial bone structure. He rubbed fingertips over eyebrows, smoothing them straight before caressing the bridge of his husband's nose, watching long brown lashes blink. He rubbed the tip of Justin's nose with his thumb while his fingers danced over Justin's cheeks. He finally drew over Justin's velvety, slightly pinkish lips. He licked his own lips, thinking of the soft kisses he wished to press to the surface of those pouty lips. He ahced to feel Justin's long, wet tongue thrash against his teeth before rolling over his bottom lip. 'Yeah, it feels damn good to still be with you.' Brian thought to himself, rolling his thumb over Justin's bottom lip before permitting his hand to fall.

Brian's quiet blue eyes strayed to watch Wade as he spoke. "Look at what this is doing to his family though. The whole world has to know that he and Amanda are separated now. They have to know that she's a part of the reason he's unhappy right now." Wade spoke gravely, lifting his cup to take a sip. He shook the cup a little, listening to the contents inside swish around. "Exactly. Amanda is suffering pretty bad because of this." Nikki agreed solemnly. "Suffering? Her career is suffering because of this. AJ's the one who had to go through this whole thing without her by his side. It's been months on top of months that he's been separated from her." Chris disagreed firmly.

Howie furrowed his brow and leaned back in his chair. He stroked the back of his hand with his thumb, his thoughts moving across the universe. "That's not a good enough excuse. AJ was away from Amanda for months, which is plenty enough time for him to get his act together." Howie declared, his voice tight and angered. "Maybe it wasn't." Chris rebuttled without fear. He was prepared for an argument. He had sympathy for AJ. To be away from his wife and child for months? Seeing them rarely? How could he not fall into a depression? Chris found it nearly impossible to go a week without talking to his wife or son.

"It should've been enough." Brian finally spoke, leaving the others silent. Justin shook a little, not wanting the discussion to go any further. "When you are away from your significant other and your child, you should do whatever it takes to fix yourself so that you can be with them again. There has to be that desire in you. Otherwise, you're basically saying you want to lose them." Brian affirmed, his chin lifting some. He was proud, but modest. "All it takes is one step and AJ finally took it, but I think he should've a long time ago. I'm proud of him, but for my husband and for my children, I would've tookt hat step the day any of them walked out on me." Brian added, his hand lifting once more, but this time to stroke Justin's muscular arm. He outlined Justin's muscles and then the smooth tattoo of a cross on Justin's arm. It was a reminder. It was their day and Brian was determined to show his husband that he was thankful for it.

"It was enough for you, huh?" Howie scoffed, lifting his glass of orange juice and vodka, tilting it in his friend's direction. "More than enough." Brian hissed back, tilting his head slightly. He eased his anger when Justin placed a compassionate kiss to his chin, but his eyes still peered at Howie with conviction. "And it was enough for Nick too... well, at first, anyway." Wade noted, lifting himself from the bench he and Nikki shared. He carried a used plate toward the trash while still giving close attention to the discussion. "He's right. Nick did finally stop what he was doing and he wasn't too far gone to know he could attend to his problem without going to a professional clinic or anything." Nikki said, her pessimism fading as she pulled her brown hair into a small, messy ponytail. She blew her bangs out of her face and smiled a little, observing Brian and Justin exchange loving glances and smiles. "And he did it for the sake of JC too." Chris chimed, puckering his lips toward Howie. Howie flipped him off quickly, strangling a laugh that threatened to rupture his negative appearance.

"Is this the place where the party is at?" Nick Chasez asked loudly, stepping onto the patio of Joey's house with a grand smile. His spiky blonde hair was covered under a white bandanna while his body was only clad in a pair of swimming shorts and sandles. Behind him walked JC Chasez and Aaron Carter. The two carried on in a humorous conversation that left them blind to the others in the area. "It's a party but you can't cry if you want to." Joey chimed, throwing an arm around Wade. Wade smiled back at his friend, reading mysterious words written into Joey's dangerous eyes. "So just come with me silently Wade." Joey added with a smug grin before jerking Wade up and rushing toward the pool.

Nick laughed lowly as he listened to the high-pitched squeals Wade released in protest. He glanced back to his husband and brother, watching their quiet conversation linger on. 'This must be a dream for me. To have him, here with me, right now. For him to get along with most of my family. To feel this loved by him, this complete with him.' Nick mused with a goofy smile. It was a picture painted without lies or cruelty. It was a sunrise glowing with the light of love and not lust. It was happiness and for Nick, it was life.

Wild strands of brown hair and blonde-streaked hair were pulled back while bare feet tredded across the ground. His brilliant blue eyes watched the actions occuring all around with broad interest. He blinked quickly when the eyes of his ex-girlfriend fell on him. He dared to release a smile. He dared to raise his brow and let her know they were still friends, still close. He scratched his thin, brown goatee when her new boyfriend rushed by and pulled her into a light embrace. There were no feelings. No animosity arose in him. 'Man, this is how it feels? I'm this in love?' he wondered, letting his eyes briefly find his husband. His supplepink lips formed a smile when he found Nick giggling with Chris and Meelah. 'Yeah, that's gotta be it.' he laughed to himself, glancing back to his ex-girlfriend.

"Hey Pea... uh, hi Nikki." he finally said, waving toward her as she relaxed with her boyfriend's arms wrapped around her waist. Nikki freed a small smile. She had left those feelings in the past. All the hate, the desire, the pain, all were gone. She was unbound. "Hey Josh." she said with a soft, sincere voice.

It was enough to ease JC's tension. He combed his fingers through his lengthy hair and nodded. He raised his eyes to stare at Ryan, seeing the slight discomfort in his eyes. "How are you doign Ryan?" JC questioned, never offering a charade of kindness but an honest smile of friendliness. "I'm.. uh, I'm good JC. What about you?" Ryan replied with a slight stutter in his voice. JC crossed his arms over his white T-shirt, his arm bending to fiddle with the Leo necklace he wore. "I'm real good." he replied nonchalantly, keeping his genuine smile painted across his pastel pink lips.

He was real good. He was happy and he was real good.

Nick sat with a prominent grin on his face. His smugness was acceptable as he watched Brian and Justin. They were happy and, somewhere, he believed that he was truly happy for them. He scratched under his bandanna, brushing fingertips over the spikes on his head. "Congratulations you two. It's truly encouraging to see two friends of mine go this far in their relationship." Nick commented, dragging Brian and Justin's eyes from each other. Brian glanced at his friend with a healthy gleam. "It's a blessing." Brian chimed with his lofty Southern accent. He intertwine his fingers with Justin's, brushing fingertips across manly knuckles with care. "Don't let him fool you, Nick. It's because nobody puts it down like I do." Justin joked, ruffling Brian's hair with his free hand. He and Nick shared a short chuckle as Brian blushed and remained quiet. "And just because I'm so happy for you two, I thought I'd get you a little somethin' somethin'," Nick said haughtily, pulling an object from his pocket. He laid it on the table before Brian and Justin.

Brian curiously reached to the table and lifted the small box, staring at the condom attach to the top. He tried not to giggle when staring at the Trojan condom, ignoring it to lift the top of the box. He felt Justin lean forward to view the contents of the box, his forehead resting against Brian's. They stared at a golden necklace with two rings attached to it. The sun caused a golden glitter to glimmer off the jewelry. Brian lowered the box and reached in, carefully lifting the necklace on his fingers. He glanced at the ring and read the inscriptions written on the front of both rings. "His love inspires the music I create." Justin whispered, reading the inscription on the first ring. "His love exists in the words I sing." Brian uttered, reading aloud the second ring's inscription. His eyes lifted to find Justin's and again, they were locked in a world of endless, unbreakable love.

Nick cleared his throat loudly, leaning on the table for support. "Well the first ring about music is Brian's and the second ring about singing is Justin's. I put them on the same necklace to represent the unity you two share. It means that you two are forver linked." Nick explained, still boasting a smug smile. Justin was the first to look at Nick with an endearing smile. Faint, almost unnoticeable tears were lining his eyes and Nick started to wonder if his gift was too emotional for his own taste. "Thank you Nick." Justin managed to get out. He pulled from Brian and eased closer to Nick, placing his arms around Nick's neck for a hug. "No one has ever thought to give us such a beautiful gift." Justin whispered to Nick, sighing when Nick hugged him back. "No problem. I figured a loser like you would appreciate it." Nick teased, lowering his hands to tickle Justin.

Justin leaped back with a howl, surprised by Nick's quick fingers. Brian giggled, wrapping his arms around Justin's waist before pulling him closer. "Thanks Frack." Brian said between snickers. His friend nodded proudly, licking his finely shaped lips and leaning back in his cushioned chair.

Aaron's eyes were not on Wade and Danay trying to drag Joey into the pull or Veronica and Mandy splashing each other in the pool. He didn't focus on his brother and brother-in-law walking toward the pool, preparing to jump in. He didn't even look at Howie tossing a beach ball at Ryan's head or Brian rushing over to Chris to push him into the pool. He was lost in a vision when he watched Lance and Bryce step onto the patio and then move aside. He felt silly feelings rushing over him, causing those awfully large butterflies to flutter in his stomach and his heart began to race for some odd, unknown reason. His toes were starting to curl and he absentmindedly adjust his attire and fixed his hair.

Mandy Moore moved like an angel in a cloud of glitter and magic. Her smile was dreamy, her eyes were soft, and her demeanor was sweeter than Aaron's every fantasy. Her blonde hair was resting behind her shoulders and her tight, white top was covered in a bedazzled version of a vintage Beatles picture. Her jeans were tight and hanging off her hips while her high-heeled sandles clicked and clacked across the ground.

"Sorry if we're a bit late Just." Lance said, stealing Brian's seat next to Justin on the bench. He patted Justin's knee as Justin smiled back at him. "It's okay Lance. Joey's the one who's been having a fit because people didn't get here from the start." Justin responded calmly, slouching forward on the bench. "Did we miss much?" Bryce asked, finding a seat in his boyfriend's lap. Lance leaned back and groaned quietly, spreading his legs to adjust to Bryce's added weight. He laid his hands on Bryce's vintage jean-covered legs, rubbing his lover's thigh with careful hands. "A lot of talking and pool fighting." Justin said, pointing toward the pool that not splashed shimmering droplets of water in several directions, a glimmering display of beauty for all eyes to watch.

Lance toyed with the tail of Bryce's shirt, watching JC dunk his husband under the water. 'Guess he's pretty happy.' Lance shrugged, his pale green eyes blinking back memories. He let his hand smooth across Bryce's leg again and he remembered what he had. He remembered that he was happy. 'Boy, if they only knew that it wasn't Mandy that made us late.' Lance giggled to himself, resting his forehead across his boyfriend's back. He nuzzled his nose to the fabric of Bryce's shirt and breathed in cologne, beauty, and small, lingering traces of himself. He wanted to be against that skin again to feel those golden arms wrap around his back and watch those perfectly pink lips curl and part to release loud, toe-curling groans of pleasure. His lips impulsively pressed a kiss to Bryce's back, trying to kiss through the material of his lover's shirt. Searching for something, he let his hands move inward and he gave Bryce's inner thighs a small squeeze, satiated with having his lover near.

"Wow.. this is quite a party." Mandy remarked as she took a seat next to Justin. Justin bequeathed a proud smile for Mandy. "It really is good to see you two together. I mean, you two are so cute. It's so hard for celebrities to keep relationships alive and to see you and Brian stay together for two years, married.. it's so beautiful." Mandy gushed, flipping her hair back while keeping her eyes focused on Justin. Justin, again, blushed. 'Gosh, do we really have this much of an effect on everyone?' he wondered, scratching the top of his head curiously. "Thanks M&M." Justin grinned, tousling her hair with his other hand. Mandy giggled, still slightly embarrassed by the name Justin gave her on the *NSYNC tour.

It wasn't long before the pool was cleared and friends were sitting around the patio laughing and talking freely. Justin held Brian in his arms, finding comfort in one of the many plush longue chairs. His shirt had long been removed and now Brian's head was on his shoulder and his back was pressed into Justin's exposed chest.

Justin shivered slightly when Brian rubbed his wet foot across Justin's calf and snuggled closer to him. He didn't mind Brian's cold, damp skin resting against his dry skin. He rubbed his hand along the sleek moisture that still remained on Brian's arm, watching Lance stand in front of everyone, a mild smirk on his ruddy lips.

Kisses were laid against Justin's jaw as his husband sought attention, but Justin couldn't offer his own lips at the moment. He kept his attention on Lance and the two people behind him. "Well everyone, I couldn't find anything creative to get Brian and Justin for their anniversary, so I went with something simple but sentimental." Lance announced, drawing eyes to him. "You cheated! You used your boyfriend." Joey called out before gnawing off a piece of his hot dog. Laughter circled the outside and Lance joined in. "Well, that's sort of true. I did get him to assist me, but that doesn't matter." Lance chuckled out, leaving the persistent laughter alive. Brian giggled into his kisses, pulling away from Justin's cheek long enough to relinquish the laughter. He held Justin's hand loosely and waited, desiring to know what Lance had for them. "But anyway, my gift to Brian and Justin is this mini-concert from my boyfriend, Mr. Bryce Winters..." Lance began, but Wade stopped him. "Soon to be Mr. Bryce Bass!" he shouted out, leaving Lance numb and raising laughter and redness to Bryce's cheeks. Lance cleared his throat, pulling at the collar of his shirt before glancing back to Bryce. His lover shot him a look of love and he found the strength to speak again. "Like I was saying, Mr. Bryce Winters and the lovely Miss Mandy Moore." Lance finally said, stepping aside as applause rang up from his friends.

Mandy sat nervously on a stool with Bryce next to her, a guitar in his arms. She brushed her hair back, one of her hands resting on her leg while the other held onto the microphone stand before her. She let her eyes roam over the area, staring Britney, then Christina, then the men from *NSYNC. She glanced at Brian and then Nick. She swallowed hard when she stared at Meelah and then the women of Innosense. They were all singers. In most cases, they were celebrities, all well-trained and well-versed in how to perform. She was just Mandy. She was just plain, ordinary, unbelieveably scared Mandy.

When Mandy heard Bryce strum the first few chords of the song, she turned her head to him. She caught him watching her, assisting her with confident eyes. She smiled sweetly and remember she was Mandy. She was on TRL, admired by many fans, and accepted as a friend to most of the people in attendance. And then her round brown eyes found Aaron. He was staring at her. He was smiling at her. He was there and Mandy couldn't help but blush and lose her fears in his coffee-brown eyes.

Ho, ho

Yeah yeah yeah, yeah

Ho, ho

You know everything that I'm afraid of

You do everything I wish I did

Everybody wants you, everybody loves you

I know I should tell you how I feel

I wish everyone would disappear

Every time you call me, I'm too scared to be me

And I'm too shy to say

Lance just watched and listened. He didn't know his boyfriend could play the guitar until he suggested the idea. He didn't know his boyfriend had learned to play the guitar from Mandy's band or from Justin. He had no idea that Bryce could be so beautiful, yet so perfect sitting on that stool, sturmming those chords that took him weeks to learn. He didn't know he could be so in love with one person, but when Bryce lifted his eyes and glared at him, he knew he couldn't fight those feelings.

Ooh, I've got a crush on you

I hope you feel the way that I do

I get a rush when I'm with you

Ooh, I've got a crush on you (A crush on you)

Justin had heard the song before. He had even hummed it around the house when he was cleaning up. He heard it on the radio when he rode around Orlando and he saw the video on MTV on various occasions. But he had never heard the song sung without the other instruments. It was just a guitar and Mandy's voice and the words that ran so deep. He licked his lips and let Brian lay a soft kiss on his shoulder. It was relaxing, it was beautiful, and it was something he wasn't ready for.

You know I'm the one that you can talk to

And sometimes you tell me things that I don't want to know

I just want to hold you

You say exactly how you feel about her

And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way

It was raw and it was wondorous. Brian brushed his thumb across Justin's navel and then under it, feeling small whisps of hair. He nuzzled his wet hair to his husband's shoulder and closed his eyes. He listened. He took it all in. Her voice carried him to a place he needed to be. He remembered those warm, dreamy thoughts he loved most. He imagined his husband in a place where no one could touch him or love him more than he did. He traced upward and felt abdominal muscles and then the curve of his husband's pectoral muscles. He ran his thumb along a milky-brown shaded nipple, loving the way it was erect and taut. He swallowed and sighed, breathing in Justin's beauty.

Mandy brought him closer to heaven. He let her strong voice surround him and lead him to ecstasy as he ran his thumb over the mid-section between pecs. There was no scar, unlike his own chest. It was just smooth. Brian felt upward and bumped into the necklace he bought his husband. He smiled to himself and moved the pendant around on the chord as Justin rubbed his hip. Love was breathed into with each chord strummed on the chord and every note sung through a young, dedicated voice.

Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody

But there's no one to talk to

Nobody knows I've got a crush on you

A crush on you, I got a crush

Hey

Babe, babe, baby

I've got a crush, I've got a crush

Mandy stared at him, found comfort in his eyes. How long had it been since they had seen each other? Wasn't he dating some other girl? Didn't he forget her? She didn't forget him. No matter who she was linked to through rumors and gossip, he was the one person she never forgot. She felt nervous and shy when she looked at him, but she still sang. At one point, she knew she wasn't singing for Brian and Justin. She knew she was singing to him and she hoped he noticed. She hoped that the heavenly drops of sunshine on his lips were cause a brighter smile and he'd want to talk to her later, maybe kiss her. She prayed that for some reason, Aaron would still want her the way she found herself wanting him.

You say everything that no one says

But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel

I will always want you, I will always love you

I've got a crush on you

I hope you feel the way that I do

I get a rush when I'm with you

Ooh, I've got a crush on you (A crush on you)

The applause had long faded away. The bodies had returned to the pool and the laughter and the fun. Drinks were still passed around while food gradually became scarce. Screams of pure, uncontrolled bliss and thudding music drenched the air as the sun slowly began to lose its height in the lazy blue sky. But it was still a celebration and one that showed no signs of fading.

Justin shifted faintly in the pool. He had found a seat on the steps to the shallow end comfortable and his husband found a seat in his lap even more relaxing. Lips thrased and sucked and kissed with intensity while hands caressed and explored areas not felt in weeks. Arousal was evident, but only to the two bodies that remained so close and so warm in the water.

Brian was the first to pull back with long breaths, his eyes batting open to stare into his husband's. He watched Justin suck in his bottom lip and chew on it nervously. There were shy candles of desire burning in his husband's eyes, leaving him with the strength to touch Justin's face. He thought about keeping the next kiss chaste, simple but good. He considered just holding a lingering stare with Justin as he inched closer. Maybe he could speak something sweet or poetic that would keep the mood tender.

Brian's body followed its own rules. His hand rose and slid over Justin's wet, spiky hair while his lips closed over his husband's again, losing their curious, virginal essence to kiss Justin with hunger burning through them. He tasted himself on Justin and then his tongue licked at his husband's lips, desiring a taste of that sweet, peachy flavor that existed within his husband's mouth.

Brian's hand became shaky on Justin's head when he felt his husband's lips part and allowed him entrance. His eyes rolled back as Justin teased his with the tip of his tongue, licking at Brian's tongue with quick strokes. His hand faltered and slid down Justin's face, his thumb running over Justin's sideburns with care. He breathed slow breaths of life while slicking his tongue over Justin's. He shivered when Justin's hands ran over his hips under the water, stroking them with tender touches.

Justin sighed into the kiss when he felt Brian's hands raise again, running over his skull. Fingers rubbed, massaged and then slid further down, stroking over Justin's head until reaching the back of his neck. Lips slipped back and found a chin to kiss. Justin's breath came ragged and uneven, but he didn't care. He swore it was a holy experience. Something so pure and angelic as Brian kissing his chin and then his jawline before dragging up to his lips made Justin's body shiver while still being wrapped in the heat of Brian's body.

"I love you," Justin whimpered, his molded arms squeezing tigether around his husband. He tried not to growl when Brian rubbed their erections together. His bottom lip quivered as Brian circled his nipple with a finger, the hand daring to slip lower. "Mmmm, I love you too JuJu." Brian groaned, raking his teeth over the edge of Justin's nose. He kissed the end before dipping lower to kiss Justin's upper lip, licking away salty water with care. "Oh.." Justin hushed himself, his brow wrinkling and his upper lip rising. His husband squeezed and thenc aressed and then petted his arousal through his shorts and Justin prayed he didn't ejaculate in Joey's pool. "Too long.. it's been too long.." Justin heaved, his hands trembling as they drew up Brian's slick, strong back. He tried to lower his tone as Brian burried his head in the crook of his neck, fingers toying with his necklace and then his collarbone.

There was laughter and giggling and Justin knew he heard something being shouted but he ignored it when Brian licked slowly at his neck. Long, moist licks left Justin oblivious to Wade's voice or the sound that whirled through the air before a beach ball slammed loudly against his face, ricocheting off of his husband's head with dimmed force. Water splattered against his face and skin and he felt Brian jerk away with him, leaving him cold and wet. "What the..." Justin hissed, shaking aeway shock to find his friends laughing at him while Wade pointed with a large grin. "I said that this ain't that kind of party." Wade said arrogantly, a haughty grin painted over his thick red lips.

Justin breathed hard, his face shifting to a red hue as the others continued to laugh. He glanced to Brian who held his own candid smirk, his graceful ease slowing Justin's angry breaths. Justin ran his hand over prickly strands of hair and sighed loudly. "I'll show up what kind of party it is." he grinned before leaping out of the water and racing toward Wade with devious intent, leaving the others in a joyous circle of laughter.

She shook her hips and drug her fingers through her hair and did it all too sexily. But she didn't care. She was having fun. She was dancing. Hands slid up her hips and she knew that was it. She was keeping control this time. She let him think, let him believe and even let him touch a little. Damn, boys are predictable.

They were so predictable that she didn't flinch when he stopped dancing when she walked in. She didn't lose her patience when she spotted Kelly strutting onto the patio. 'As if you're the shit or something.' she grumbled to herself, flipping her hair back as he moved away. She stayed sublte and unfazed when her friend pulled her to the side and whispered evil thoughts to her. She watched and waited. Would he still be the guy he was ten minutes when he asked her for a dance and flirted with her? Was he the same man she had given almost three years to?

"Uh, hey Kelly." he said aloud, more than aloof toward his ex-girlfriend's exasperated stares. He gave a small wave and then he looked, found unamused brown eyes and he hoped his goofy smile would brush away that brazen spirit.

It didn't and guilt settle in for a long visit.

Britney let a small sigh cross over her lips as she watched Kelly advance.

She didn't shake her hear or curl her upper lip. She showed no sign of animosity. She didn't have the strength to. "Girl, I really want to see her try and act like his girlfriend in front of all of these people." Christina giggled to her friend, eyeing Kelly as she moved nearer to her destination. Britney rolled her eyes and remained stiff. "I don't." Britney said bluntly before her leg stretched outward. She did it discretely, almost unnoticeably. She kept her leg straight and stiff, extended just enough to bump her feet and cause her to lose balance. She shucked her leg backward quickly when Kelly began to wobble and then shriek before falling to her side, landing in the pool with a crystal river of splashes.

Britney held no shame or guilt when she let a small smile crackle like wild fire across her glossy pink lips. She crossed her arms in that awkwardly innocent way that left her harmless. "Girl..." Christina cooed, surpressing wild laughter with broken grins. "What?" Britney questioned innocuously, shrugging her shoulder while watching Kelly struggle to escape the water. "You are just so bad today." Christina gleamed, high-fiving her friend with a bright grin.

Britney licked her lips and nodded, letting round brown eyes find Joey's almond eyes. She saw the faint smile on his lips. She couldn't help but wink at him. "I don't play fair." Britney shrugged, returning her attention to Christina for another bout of childish laughter.

It was supposed to be a party, a celebration. In some places, it was. In the chair he lounged in, it wasn't. He ran smooth hands over short blonde hair and listened to quiet whimpers. He was glad they were in a corner of the large yard. He was happy no one bothered looking at them. He just curled his fingers through wet hair and breathed, controlling sighs and fits of desire as he did it.

"Nicky, I know you're really upset about this AJ situation, but you really have to stop thinking about it." JC insisted with a calm voice. He listened to another sniffle and felt another warm drop slid onto his chest. "I've been trying to, but he's such a good guy. He shouldn't be in this kind of turmoil." Nick whimpered, running a finger down the center of JC's chest, brushing over faint dustings of hair. JC shook at the touch and tried to remember when he started letting Nick read the dictionary to find words like turmoil to use in his vocabulary. "Bad things always happen to good people.

It's the irony of this world." JC insisted, kissing the top of his husband's head. "It's bullshit." Nick hissed and JC smiled. 'There's my Nick.' he thought to himself.

JC rode a fimger over Nick's not-so-slim hip. He poked the damp skin and then caressed it. "We all have our trials that we have to go through Nicky." JC whispered, his finger tugging at the waistband of Nick's shorts. He felt his husband's hand slip upward and over his face, rubbing his goatee and lips. "I know we did." Nick sighed out, letting his tears gradually wash away. He felt JC rub his nose affectionately and he didn't have to cry anymore. "But look at how good we are now sweetie. I couldn't be anymore happier with you." JC said, dropping his head to whisper into Nick's ear. He kissed the outer rim of Nick's earlobe and let his fingers slip under the waistband. He found golden skin that he loved, adored. He circled toward Nick's upper thigh, finding traces of kinky brown hair as he moved closer.

"Baby, where would I be without you?" Nick questioned, already sure of the answer. He'd be drunk, somewhere in the dark, not even thinking about love or happiness. He'd be arrogant Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys, waiting for the group to breakup so he could be free of the bondage and false joy. He would be Nick Carter and not Nick Chasez.

Nick turned his head up and let his soul dip into ivory-blue eyes of wonder. His red lips parted and he wanted to speak. He wanted to say something beautiful and poetic. "Thank you for loving me and helping me through my troubles." he said. It was nothing grand or worth quoting, but it was enough to rub a smile across JC's thick, pink lips. "I love you Nickolas." JC chimed, craning his neck to lay a kiss on Nick's lips. "Love you too Josh." Nick managed to whisper before his husband's lips overtook his.

Stools were set up again and this time, Mandy had a seat to watch a performance instead of putting one on. She shared stolen glances of infatuation with Aaron, her seat directly next to his. "This has been a cool party." Aaron remarked, watching as JC found a seat on one of the stools. "It got better when you sat next to me." Mandy remarked, her inncent expression of gratitude written into her lips. She watched Aaron blush and giggled softly.

"I think he likes you." Lance crooned softly into her ear and she ducked her head, her naïveté priceless in Lance's eyes. She turned her head in his direction, admiring the way he and Bryce cuddled in their chair. "You think so?" Mandy questioned lowly, leaning toward Lance. Lance grined. Wasn't this like Britney and Joey all over again? Hadn't he seen this kind of innocent, guilible love in a time before? Maybe a dream of happier days? "It's in his eyes." Lance agreed, his voice staying deep and hushed. Her smile flattered her beauty and she returned her attention to Aaron, still awaiting the surprise Joey had announced earlier.

"Somebody's a good Cupid." Bryce remarked with a solid smile. He ran a hand over his boyfriend's incoming beard. He traces the brown hairs with quiet thoughts, whispered words of love feeding his heart. "I try." Lance shrugged, his goofy grin leaving Bryce helpless. "And you're so cute when you do." Bryce chimed quietly, his nose scrunching up and his eyes widening with life.

Bryce felt his breath catch when Lance rubbed his inner thigh and then stroke delicate fingers dangerously close to his groin. "You want to get lucky tonight?" Bryce giggled out, his face deepening in its reddish hue. "Depends on how lucky I can get." Lance purred, nuzzling his nose to Bryce's neck. He breathed a strong scent of cologne and Mike's Hard Lemonade. 'Hmmm, kissing all over his neck in the living room after you drink one of those probably isn't the best idea.' Lance told himself before platning gentle amber kisses on his lover's neck again. "Oh, trust me Jamesy... you could probably get pretty lucky tonight." Bryce whispered, stroking his fingers through Lance's hair.

The attention fell on Justin and JC as they sat side-by-side in front of everyone. Justin held onto a guitar, one he learned to play through strict concentration and his husband's tutelage. He thought of lyrics he had crafted on tour. Words he had put to a simple guitar-driven melody. They were letters thrown together to create a song that he wrote for his husband.

One that he played for JC first, on a night where both felt lonely and both needed to remember they were friends. It was a night of laughter and talks and endless discussions about their husbands. Justin still smiled on that night. It was the night JC became his friend once more.

Justin closed his eyes for a moment and then he exhaled. His fingers gripped tightly to the guitar pick before he began to strum the melody he had focused so much energy on. He kept his head low as he stroked every note through the guitar. He cleared his throat and he batted open his eyes.

His head lifted and he found alluring, dreamy blue eyes. A velvet smile pricked his lips and he found the voice he needed to sing the words he wrote.

I remember a time not too long ago

Where my life started to begin again

It was the summer I found my soul

When you became more than a friend

JC rocked in the stool, listening to Justin sing. He kept his eyes closed, naturally letting the song enter his mind, his spirit. He rubbed his hands over his thighs, remembering the laughter and singing. He could remember pointing out key points where Justin should keep his voice sincere and other moments when his friend should release that instrument burried within his body. He could remember Justin's smile his eyes and the way he talked about Brian. He could recall his own words about Nick. He recollected every sigh of awe Justin released and every time he smiled when JC giggled like a girl when speaking of Nick. It was all there when he began to sing with Justin.

I know when I lost touch with reality

But please, don't be mad at me

Cause I want the world to know

I want the world to see

Baby, you breathe the love inside of me

There's never too much you could ask

The world could never change what we have

Cause, baby, for you

I can do anything

Justin had to close his eyes again. He couldn't look at his husband. He couldn't watch those soft eyes of love adore him because he knew he wouldn't able to sing then. He wouldn't be able to bestow his gift upon Brian. He would just sit there and stare at Brian, thinking of late night kisses and dancing in the kitchen. He would daydream about soft cries through the night and passionate declarations of love. Justin would ache for Brian.

I remember the day I learned about true love

It was when I first held you close

Can't think of a moment I want to remember more

Than the day I promised to love you young and old

JC lifted his head again and let his eyes linger open for brief, loving moments. He smiled at his husband, watched Nick curl up in their chair and watch him with eyes of amazement. Was JC that beautiful to Nick? Did he cause Nick to shy away and just watch? He hoped so. He hoped he was Nick's everything. He hoped it was true because when he caught Lance and Nikki watching him, he hoped that giving them up was worth everything he felt for Nick.

I know when I let love lead me blind

So please, don't walk too far from my eyes

Cause I want the world to know

I want the world to see

Baby, you breathe the love inside of me

There's never too much you could ask

The world could never change what we have

Cause, baby, for you

I can do anything

Music floated in a sea of awe with drops of inspiration leading Justin to continue playing the guitar. He licked his trembling bottom lip, his fear still absorbing his smile. Was he sounded good? Did Brian really care for the lyrics? He wished all of his friends melted away and he had just Brian in a small, dim studio in the lower part of Orlando. He wanted to play the guitar and sing for just Brian that one, beautiful second time that unfolded before when he looked at Brian's eyes and saw moist tears clinging to the eyelashes that refused to bat them away. He thinks somewhere he strummed the wrong string, but it doesn't matter because he knows now. In endless, simply beautiful, pale blue eyes, he finds his heaven and closes his eyes, letting that angel of love surround him and introduce him to bliss for the hundredth time in his unregretted relationship with Brian Littrell.

Whatever tries to take you away

I'll fight for you, I'd die that day

Because nothing else is a part of me

The way your love strengthens the heart in me

Justin didn't let go because he thought the light would fade and he'd lose the chance to know how beautiful the world was with tears in moderation. He kept his eyes centered on Brian with a diminutive smile yanking at the corner of his lips. He listened to his friend overtake the vocals on the chorus of the song because he was too into Brian. He was too into the love he felt for one man. He was too into the symphony of their eyes sharing an intimate, candle-lit conversation that left Justin beside himself.

Cause I want the world to know

I want the world to see

Baby, you breathe the love inside of me

There's never too much you could ask

The world could never change what we have

Cause, baby, for you

I can do anything

And I will do anything

I have anything

Prove anything

Baby, cause for you I can do anything

There was something about a pinkish-purple sky, the dim lights of a fading sun, a song playing on the radio and a slow ride through unknown parts that warmed the soul. Justin ran his fingers over his scalp and sighed. His soul was on fire. He had escaped the party with Brian, leaving their friends to continue to celebrate sans the couple of honor. He was sure they didn't mind. He knew Brian had a small surprise for him and unless his friends really wanted to know what happened between he and Brian after three weeks of not seeing each other, he knew leaving would be for the best.

He reclined in the passenger of Brian's flame blue BMW M Roadster, a gift from Brian's parents. He tapped his fingers along the door, watching trees, grass, flowers, and anything beautiful pass by as Brian sped down an empty road. His other hand rested on Brian's as Brian switched gears with the stickshift.

Justin brushed his palm along Brian's knuckles, occasionally finding the strength to look at Brian, watch the way his face stayed so serene and gorgeous as if heaven was smoothed across it. A smile stayed plastered on his face and he just sighed. He ran his fingers over Brian's and glanced down at the sight, aweing at the way their hands were a portait, vintage and in black white, but still picturesque. 'This heart ain't nothin' without ya, Littrell.' Justin thought to himself, trying to mimic his husband's accent in his mind.

Baby, let's cruise away from here

Don't be confused, the way is clear

And if you want it, you've got it forever

This is not a one night stand

So let the music take your mind

Just release and you will find

You're gonna fly away

Glad you're going my way

I love it when we're cruising together

Music is played for love

Cruising is made for love

I love it when we're cruising together

"Hey.." Brian's voice caught his attention and Justin looked up with excitement buzzing in his deep blue eyes. Justin tilted his head to the side and nibbled his lower lip. "Have I told you I love you today?" Brian asked, taking his eyes from the road to glance into Justin's eyes. He brought a petite giggle from Justin. "Oh, maybe once or twice or three hundred times after I sung that song for you." Justin snickered out, easing a little closer to his husband. His elbow bumped Brian's and he could've swore he heard silver bells ringing in the cool air. "That's because... it's because I didn't expect that." Brian remarked, his eyes focused on the road. It was hard for him to turn to Justin, to let Justin see the joy that spilled through his body. "I didn't expect you to play the guitar and sing and.. I didn't expect you to write such a beautiful song about me." Brian said, his words caught in his heart.

Justin shyly raised his head. He saw them there, waiting again, dying for release. He brushed his thumb along Brian's eyelid and dabbed away moist tears. He trailed his thumb down his husband's cheek, easing toward Brian's ear. He caressed Brian's soft sideburn and smiled. "I love you Rocky." Justin whispered, his voice raising above the sweet sound of music and angels. "Love you too Bean." Brian sniffled out, keeping his eyes on the road as they drove.

Cruise with me baby

Cruise...

Cruise...

Ooh baby, let's cruise

Let's flow, let's glide

Ooh, let's open up

And go inside

Justin watched the way the sky still held pale splotches of orange from the disappearing sun. He glared at Brian, the calm, knowing expression entangled in Brian's beauty leaving him uncomfortable. "You still haven't told me where we're going." Justin remarked cooly, bobbing his head to the music. He loved the way the wind lifted Brian's bangs and pulled them back.

His husband's blonde hair was in a dreamy disarray, but he didn't mind. "If I told you..." Brian began but Justin quickly lifted a hand to stop him.

"You have to kill me, right?" Justin questioned with a dulled expression. Brian laughed lowly. "No, that wouldn't be very Christian-like. I was going to say that if I told you then you start to wonder why we were going there and that would just kill the romance of it all." Brian explained, his dimples flared by his grin. "Oh." Justin peeped out, turning his head away with wonder.

That was all Brian had to say. It was enough for Justin. He tried to relax, trusting that Brian wouldn't take him somewhere he didn't want to be.

Even though it was a lone road and they had to be at least forty minutes from a highway, he trusted Brian and that's all he needed.

And if you want it, you've got it forever

I could just stay here beside you

And love you baby

Let the music take your mind

Just release and you will find

Brian pulled the car to the side of the road and Justin was a little more than concerned. Where were they? Did he even know the area enough to follow his husband as he got out of the car? He lifted his hand as Brian shifted into park. His eyes wandered around, admiring the area. "Come on JuJu." Brian insisted, patting his husband thigh as he opened his own door. Justin sucked in his bottom lip and raised his brow. He slowly unbuckled his seatbelt as his husband hopped out of the car. 'Come on, it's your anniversary. He's got to have something nice planned.' Justin told himself, but somehow, it just wasn't enough for Justin to rush his movements. "You're going to be left here all by yourself if you stay in the car, baby." Brian warned his husband, opening the trunk with his eyes locked on Justin. "You wouldn't leave me babe. I'm too damn cute." Justin joked, finally opening his door. He glanced back and watched the dimples take shape on Brian's face again. "Too damn sexy." Brian added with a quick wink. Justin couldn't help the blush as it rushed his cheeks, but he merely stretched and pretened to be unaffected by his husband's words and his smile and his soft, but lusty eyes.

Brian closed the trunk as his husband crossed behind the car. Brian licked his pink lips when admiring Justin. The way his stone-washed blue jeans hung on his hips with a belt made Brian desperate to strip them away. He loved the way Justin wore a short-sleeve, button-down shirt that was button to the last three buttons, revealing his husband's belly when the wind blew right. He sighed to himself, throwing his backpack over one shoulder while offering his hand to Justin. "Shall we?" Brian chimed as Justin grabbed his hand. Justin pressed his lips together in a thin line and lowered his brow with suspicion. "Sure." he mumbled out. Brian laughed generously and tugged on Justin's arm, leading him away from the car and everything he had become familiar with.

When they stopped, Justin was still questionable. In fact, he began to wonder if even Brian knew where they were. But Brian had to know. He had brought his husband to a small field, one decorated in minty grass with speckles of gold all over. The daises were beautiful. Brian had ended their small trek near a tree and Justin hugged himself as Brian knelt on the ground and began to remove things from the backpack. 'What are we going to do out here? Sing camp songs?' Justin thought, watching as fireflies drifted through the dark sky. "Take off your shoes." Brian said lowly, tapping at Justin's knee as he proceeded to pull more items from his backpack. Justin's brow raised again, but he did not hesitate in kicking his shoes off and letting his bare feet stand in the soft grass.

Justin backed away from his husband and watched as Brian hung an oriental-lattern from the tree and lit it. He ran his tongue over his lips and shoved his hands into his pocket, an inquiring expression etched into his face. He glanced down and spotted Brian naked feet, his shoes somewhere within the grass. He watched Brian move toward another spot and kneel, placing a stand into the ground before placing a candle into it. He lit the candle and moved again, setting up another stand and candle. 'A ritual?' Justin thought, trying not to laugh.

It was a ritual. Something Justin didn't recognize until his husband laid out a beautiful white sheet onto the grassy ground and grabbed his hand again. Justin followed Brian to the sheet and stood, slightly wary of the area. Brian's comforting fingers ran over his hand and Justin lost his cagey appearance. The light moved over Brian's body, a golden glow circling his skin and features. The air chilled slightly, but carried a breeze of magic and passion. It was beautiful. It was romantic. It was something Justin didn't expect from his husband, but somewhere in his heart, he knew that it was only Brian that would do this for him.

"I knew you'd stop acting funny once you saw what I had planned." Brian remarked with a grin, stepping closer to Justin. He brushed his foot over Justin's and watched Justin shiver with pleasure. "Here?" Justin asked as Brian's other hand raised and tugged at his belt, loosening it and unbuckling it with skilled fingers. "Here." Brian whispered, drawing his head closer to Justin's. "You or me?" Justin asked foolishly, letting his own hand rest on Brian's hip. "Let me make love to you." Brian requested, yanking the belt from its loops. Justin nodded, his eyes closing as he waited for the warm, tingling press of Brian's lips against his own.

Brian tugged on Justin's belt loops as he began to progressively sink downward. Justin blinked opened his eyes and watched Brian descend. He didn't bother to suck in his lower lip and look tentative. He followed his husband's actions and fell to his knees, releasing Brian's hand to rest his own hand on Brian's neck. He inclined inward and their lips met, kissing, sucking and licking with a fire beating white heat around them.

Brian's hand lifted and skirted under Justin's shirt, fingers rubbing over smooth, young muscle and rounding a finely shaped navel. He trailed his pinky along the faint trail of hair that led from his husband's belly button into the hidden confines of his jeans. He wanted to go there, but he didn't. He permitted his hand to slide over his husband's pecs, pressing his palm flat against the muscles. They were shaped the way Brian loved them, toned and unquestionably masculine. "Mmmm." he hummed into the kiss, his husband's tongue tickling the roof of his mouth. He let his fingers caress a stiff, fawn-toned nipple and smooth skin as he scooted closer to his husband, pressing his arousal to Justin's thigh.

Justin gasped loudly, drawing his lips back when feeling Brian's erection through his jeans. It was hot, hard, aching, and everything Justin wanted it to be. He shook when Brian sucked on his lower lip and his hands trembled down Brian's body when Brian unfastened the button on his jeans.

All it took was a simple flick of the wrist and Brian had Justin partially exposed. Justin lightly scrapped his nails down his husband's arm as Brian unzipped his jeans, letting them fall down as a cooling breeze rushed over their bodies. "Lay back." Brian whispered through quiet, gentle kisses. He laid a hand on his husband's shoulder and nudged, pleading with him to rest against the ground.

The sheet was silky soft. It crumpled under Justin's weight as he laid on the ground, spreading his legs as his husband laid on top of him. He struggled with the jeans around his feet while his husband kissed his neck and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. One of his hands instinctively moved to Brian's back while the other combed through Brian's hair. He let his breath bathe Brian's head as he yanked at his husband's wifebeater. "Off." he mumbled out as Brian licked at a small, ruddy hickey. He shucked away his jeans as Brian sat up, tearing away his wifebeater to expose a beautifully sculted chest. "Better?" Brian asked with a grin as he laid back down, his hands returning to his husband's shirt to finish the buttons. "Oh God, so much." Justin groaned out, letting Brian settle back down between his legs.

Brian ran his hand up Justin's leg, whispering a sweet thank you to the heavens that his husband chose to wear briefs and not his usual boxer-briefs. He awed at the strength in Justin's legs and the short, almost curly brown hairs that resided on them. His lips were a little sore, but he continued to kiss his way over Justin's chest, his other hand pushing Justin's shirt off of his shoulders, giving his lips more precinct to roam. He raked his teeth over Justin's left nipple and smiled at the shivers it brought to Justin's body. He didn't mind that slight tug at his hair when his lips enclosed his husband's nipple. He loved the way his name sounded in that drawn-out, almost dead Southern accent when he flicked his tongue repeatedly over the erect surface. 'He loves it.' he grinned to himself, kissing and sucking the nipple without any desire to move.

Justin's foot brushed over the back of Brian's jeans. He wanted them removed. He wanted to feel flesh against flesh, melting in the golden light of the candles. He cradled Brian's head as Brian kissed higher on his chest and he wished he could do the same. He sighed heavily and tilting his head upward, exposing his neck to Brian's tongue. "Your jeans." Justin huffed out, his hand slipping into the back pocket of Brian's jeans. "Your shirt." Brian replied lowly, his teeth capturing the collar of Justin's shirt to give it a light tug. Justin giggled and nodded, trying to sit up under his husband's hot body. He couldn't help but laugh at their need for each other. It was carnal. It was something he enjoyed about their relationship. It wasn't all candlelight, bed of roses and soft passionate moans. There was lust and sweat and growling and even fucking. They knew their limitations and they knew the wide open spaces. They loved both.

Brian struggled with the snap on his jeans, his eyes glancing up recurrently to watch Justin slide the shirt from his body. He knew Justin moved slow because he couldn't move fast enough. He almost ripped the zipper as he wrestled to get it over his erection. "Damn it." he swore and sighed hard when he couldn't get the zipper to move. He watched hands move into the picture, apparitions of love grabbing a hold of his zipper and carefully moving it downward, easily sliding it over his aching erection. He looked up and found Justin's face of concentration as he pulled Brian's pants down and over his slim hips. He chewed on his lip, watchful eyes finding that hint of romance that lurked in the summer air.

"You are so unbelievably handsome baby." Brian said with a soft, sweetly country intone. He waited until Justin looked up, forgetting that Brian's jeans existed for a moment. A crooked smirk folded over his red lips and Brian smiled back. "If you keep saying things like that, I'm going to want to just sit here and cuddle with you." Justin replied. Brian eased a hand over Justin's shaved scalp while the other signalled to Justin to pull the jeans further down. "Well then, let me fuck you wild Bean." Brian smirked out, nudging Justin back again.

Justin glanced down to his husband's waist before leaning back once again.

Brian was wearing a G-string. Brian was wearing a G-string? A quick tug, a finger running over the string-like waistband and yep, Brian Littrell was wearing a G-string. "Oh God." Justin groaned loudly while smiling.

As soon as Brian felt Justin's back resting fully against the sheet, his hands dropped to Justin's briefs and jerked at them. He took into consideration that they were white and for a minute, he wished they were back at the pool so he could splash water on them and see Justin's attractively long penis through them. He cunningly let his han caress the covered penis before sliding the briefs over Justin's hips. He left quick pecks on Justin's lips while lowering the garment over Justin's legs, mewling when Justin brushed his hair back. It was relaxing, almost numbing.

Brian tossed the briefs aside and let his eyes focus on the cock waiting for him to touch. For almost three years, he was the one person that was able to suck, lick, caress, rub, kiss, ride, and hold that penis until Justin's toes curled and he came. He got to experience things with Justins dick that women and men dreamed of and he couldn't have been any prouder. To see the way it turned red, almost purple from the need of release. The way it jumped and throbbed and twitched when it wanted to be touched. Brian loved the vein running down the underside and the shapely head, the way the precum leaked out unnoticeably but stayed constant. He inadvertly licked his lips as he studied the organ, his thumb massaging the head.

"Ooh." Justin cooed and Brian felt Justin's body stiffen. 'Been a little too long, eh?' Brian thought. He didn't know when Justin last indulged in the pleasure of masturbation, but he knew his name was rolling off of Justin's lips when he came. He knew Justin was panting hard afterward and blushing, face flushed and jaw gone slack. "Don't worry baby, I'm going to make little JuJu feel real good." Brian promised, running the tip of his tongue over Justin's parted lips.

Justin gripped the chord of Brian's undergarment. He pulled and yanked and fought to get it off. When his own cock bumped against Brian's stomach and Brian rolled his body ever so gently, bringing immense friction to his dick, Justin spread his legs and pulled the G-string down until it fell around Brian's knees. His foot hooked into the underwear and pulled it off.

He hissed as his hand slid over Brian's exposed butt, feeling it flex under his warm touch. His palm molded the muscles of Brian's ass and his fingers dipped into the crack, spreading it slightly. "Mmmm, yeah, oh..." Brian groaned into his ear and Justin had to close his eyes to stop himself from going further.

"Let me.." Brian groaned before his words could escape. He ground his lower body into Justin, trembling with pleasure when his dick shifted against Justin's. He grabbed the base of his dick and guided over Justin's, his brow furrowing. He panted and gasped. It felt wonderful.

He repositioned himself when Justin lifted his leg and curved it behind Brian, hooking it around Brian's back. "In me." Justin whimpered, rubbing Brian's back while pushing down on his ass, trying to guide Brian toward his entrance. "What about..." his words were again halted when Justin crushed their lips together. A stinging white heat numbed his brain and he stopped thinking. "No lube, no fingering.. just do it baby... I can't wait that long." Justin panted out, brushing Brian's bangs back. He kissed the tip of Brian's nose and that was Brian's assurance. He knew there was pain involved. He knew Justin would gasp and wince and might even pull back some, but his husband wouldn't end it. His husband wanted to make love. Justin desired Brian inside of him and when the tip of Brian's dick finally broke through the ring, Justin wouldn't let Brian pull back.

"Ouch.. uh, oh.. heh heh..." Justin panted, his eyes tightening shut while his husband grew tense. He tried not to fight it. Years of feeling Brian enter him never stopped the pain when it had been too long and this time, it had been a little too long. There was a burn, one that Justin felt in his toe nails. He sucked in his lower lip and held in biting tears. The pain meant coming pleasure. The pain meant Brian had broken through a barrier and Justin knew not to close the gates once more. He lowered his hand to Brian's ass and gave it a small shove, hoping his husband would slowly move in deeper.

Brian found a patch of love in that scrunched face of pain and anguish. He didn't want to move any further, but Justin wasn't going to let him pull out. He had shifted a little, tried to draw back but his husband kept a steady hand on his butt, holding him there until the agony started to hollow and fade. He pet his fingers across the face, smoothing eyebrows and rubbing the bridge of Justin's nose until Justin's azure eyes opened and his mouth stopped creasing into that tight expression of frustration. He waited until he felt Justin's legs circle his waist and hold him there without the assistance of a hand. His own breath became tight and short, the florescent heat gripping his cock until he thought his eyes would burn away with pleasureable tears.

Justin's tight, the kind of tightness that Brian enjoys. His fingers are grabbing and clenching the sheet, pulling it up as the pain comes and goes. Brian licks the tip of his nose and Justin forgets the pain to giggle for a minute. He exhales long and hard and harder when Brian pulls back and then slides further in. Brian plays with his ears and then lets a hand slide under them until he grabs Justin's ass, pulling the cheeks further apart as he digs further in. He circles one of his fingers around Justin's hole and nothing but ragged moans rush off of Justin's lips. It's too good. When the finger slides up the crack and over slightly hairy balls, Justin coos and he howls when the base of his dick is rubbed and prodded by cautious fingers. "Ooh, God you're making.. heh heh.. you're making this so much easier baby..." Justin panted out and his legs tightened around Brian, keeping his husband burried with balls resting against Justin's ass. He loves it.

Brian squirms a little when Justin's hand grabs at his shoulder, nails leaving marks. He twists his hips, once to the right and then quickly to the left. He opens Justin up more, the width of his penis something Justin couldnt live without. It was always much bigger than Brian's small fingers.

Three fingers couldn't do enough when compared to the pressure of Brian's dick. But Justin didn't beg for his husband to stop. He tilted his head up to the sky and watched tears try to twinkle in the sky as Brian finally rubbed the head of his cock against his prostate, watching his own stars form before his eyes.

Was Justin bucking? Brian thought his husband was when he rubbed his thumb across the head of Justin's cock and pulled back. Justin was asking for more. He was whispering dirty, sinful words when Brian leaned down to kiss them away. Brian smiled through the kiss as Justin's hand scrambled and danced on his back. Justin massaged his shoulderblades and Brian groaned, his breathy more than just husky.

Muscles fluttered and tightened. "Fuck.. oh God, do you know what that feels like?" Brian moaned and he ducked his head, swiping his tongue across Justin's lips, tasting hints of candy. Justin's skin tasted wonderful during sex. It had its own thin film of sweat and it smelled like a man but tasted more like a woman's sweet perfume. It tightened at times before going completely soft, melting on Brian's tongue like caramel. Brian missed tiwrling his fingers in curls when sucking on Justin's neck but he settled for feeling sharp spikes as he kissed Justin's jaw. His other hand slipped from Justin's cock and grabbed Justin's ass, pulling him up for a better angle.

Brian lowers his body until he's propped up on his elbows, their chests touching and Justin's dick crushing beautifully against Brian's stomach. "Mmm, ah, God.. fuck fuck.. oh yes..." Brian hisses and he's sure Justin can feel him everywhere because Justin's skin is hot, slightly sweaty but still velvet-like.

"Yes.. hit that spot... oh shit, mmmm..." Justin groans, his eyes slipping shut because if he looks into Brian's blue eyes when Brian slides in again, he's pretty sure he'll just explode. He feels Brian's hand return to his penis and he couldn't be happier. He lets his own hand slip and faulter and fold over Brian's, guiding the pace that Brian's hand moved. "A little faster..." Justin pleaded, kissing Brian's lips, keeping it chaste because he has to moan again. His husband obeys and something starts to spill over Justin's body. It's passion and excitement and everything he dreams about when Brian makes love to him.

"I.. I don't want to say this.. but.. bu-but I'm gonna cum soon..." Brian gasps. He feels Justin's legs pull him deeper and his eyes roll back. He tries to balance his weight and remember to growl other things besides Justin's name but it's almost impossible when Justin flexes his muscles and swallows Brian even deeper. His legs hurt because he's going harder and faster and he feels everything catching fire. His lips are dry, slightly chapped until Justin kisses them closed. "Cl-Cl-Close too.. so close..." Justin stutters out and Brian smiles on the inside. Liquid sunshine bathes him and he doesn't stop his rapid assault on his lover's body.

Brian tries to move his hips in a new direction and change the angle, but he can't when Justin arches his back and his legs tighten around Brian, bring him into the hilt without trying. "Mmmph.. oh, oh! Oh God! Oh fucking.. baby.." Justin screams and cum floods over their bodies. Warm, thick semen spills over Justin's stomach and Brian's chest. "Mmmm... keep cumming.." Brian instructs to his husband, kissing his lips. Justin feels Brian's lips tremble and open, not to let his tongue slip in, but to moan loudly. His hand slips over Brian's belly and feels the muscles tighten and grow hard. Justin pulls his lips away and permits his husband to swear.

"Fuck.. oh fuck, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck... thank you. oh thank you.." Brian repeats, his penis releasing thick ropes of cum into Justin's body, everything inside of him flowing out with his ejaculation. Brian's head drops and his eyes bat open with wet tears because it does feel so good. He feels too damn good because he can't stop cumming. He can't stop the release and Justin's holding him inside, petting his hair back as he tries to find air and words. He tries to find something else to think about because he's still cumming.

"Yeah.. let it go baby.. I love you..." Justin whispers, kissing the corner of Brian's mouth and his lips and his cheek. Justin knows Brian's flying on a rainbow. He's just dreaming, still in a state of shock. "Happy two-year anniversary Rocky." Justin adds, pulling Brian down on top of his body, keeping Brian burried inside of him. He didn't want Brian to escape. He wouldn't be happy then. He brushed his foot over Brian's calf and kissed Brian's shoulder. He could hear Brian trying to speak, but he placed a finger over Brian's lips, letting him stay silent and in that gorgeous state. He breathes in the scent Brian always carries after sex, sweetly masculine and heady. He adores it. He holds Brian tighter and sighs because he missed Brian. Damn, he missed him.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Song Credits (In order of appearance)

• Colorblind (Adam F. Duritz), performed by Counting Crows - Slave 4 U (Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo), performed by Britney Spears - Crush (Sheppard, Kenny Gioia), performed by Mandy Moore - Anything (J.M.), written for Justin Littrell & JC Chasez - Cruisin' (2000 Version), performed by Huey Lewis & Gwenyth Paltrow

*** And again, it took me too damn long! I am so sorry. And to those of you who wrote me, sorry I didn't get back to you but because I didn't check my e-mail for like five days, Hotmail went ahead and deleted everything! I was SO mad. I'm glad I got to talk to some of you though. I appreciate all the support. Let's see... I'm going to get straight to work on the VMA story, which will probably be two short parts to tide everyone over. From there, I'll begin my first Thanksgiving story. Never did one for that holiday (I think). Everyone's going to the Littrell's for Thanksgiving and of course that means drama! Also, let me know which minor character you want more of. Do you want more of Chris & Meelah? A little more Nikki? Maybe Mandy & Bryan? Possibly Danay? Or Kevin? Let me know! I'm open for it. I'm in LOVE with Justin's Arena Homme pictures and his recent Cosmo pictures. He's a hottie but he's growing his hair back! I like the buzz cut. And that Brian's a cutie too. Anyway, if you still want wallpapers, e-mail me. And you can even request a wallpaper for a certain couple or person now! Uh, I think that's all. I don't want to talk about the nation right now. Let's stay on positive notes, okay? Write me and let me know what you think. Go read "Jamie's Romance" because it kicks ass and is my favorite series right now! (Hi Jim!!!) I'm in love with Britney's new song and video and can't get enough of Justin in "Gone." What about ya'll? All right, I'm rambling now. Hope to see you all for the next story! Buh-bye! ***