Just Beginning (The Finale) By JM
'When it's over, there's no more choices When the game ends, the clock stops When the story ends, the book closes But the memories are never lost...'
-- by JM
-- To all the haters at Nifty: To be quite blunt and quite clear, all of your hating only keeps me going. You've made me the 'celebrity' at Nifty. Thank you. Without great 'fans' like you, where would I be? Instead of taking readers away, you've brought me some good ones. So as long as you want to hate me, I'll continue to get a bigger and bigger ego. Stop thinking about me and go and get some dick. Maybe you won't be so tight then. Oh yeah, to that one hater that called me out in the beginning of his story, PMS just isn't your color. You should have changed your pad before you started your series because you only made people love me more. Keep in mind, I still didn't call you ouy by your name, so remember not to do the same with me. So in the words of Lil' Kim, 'Fuck You'. --
*** There's no need for introductions this time. You've read all of the changes, people, friends, haters, and everything else in previous introductions. This time, I feel there is no need to bore you with it. All of the people I have thanked in the past still stand as people that have done something for me in one way or another and have helped this series. All I can say now is that I have enjoyed every second I have put forth into this series. It's my 'baby' and now it's all grown up. That makes me happy. Hopefully, I've 'raised' it well in your eyes because I have in my own eyes. But if you ever feel the loss of not having the series around anymore... if you ever need to feel what Brian and Justin felt from start to finish... just go to 'Brian & Justin: Chapter 1' and then you'll know that it's all 'Just Beginning'. ***
She was blonde with blue eyes. She stared at each aspect while she looked in her vanity mirror. Typical? To be a celebrity, it was a nice bonus to have on your checklist. For her, it was just another feature of herself that did not help her win over the man she craved. Her nicely shaped body, crystal-gleaming eyes, and even her charming on-air personality did not help her. She calculated that it was possible that he knew her better than the cameras. He knew what she really wanted from him and still had not gotten. Despite her attempts, she knew that he knew his heart couldn't be won that easily or that vainly.
'What can I do about this?' she pondered while flipping through a magazine. She came upon a picture of her greatest threat. He was also a blonde on his good days. His blue eyes mimicked her own. She tapped her well-manicured nails on the table, trying not to become overwhelmingly jealous of him. Her tatic did not work. She grabbed the marker she used for autographing and within seconds, scribble marks were left on his glossy picture. "Stupid ass fucker." her sharp tongue spat out as she briskly closed the magazine. She shoved the magazine aside and returned to looking at herself in the vanity mirror.
She sighed softly. The silence of being in her dressing room by herself was boring. She prefered a more lively lifestyle, but other powers kept her locked up so that she could be safe from mobs of her fans. She cared less for them and more for her own dillemas. 'What would Linda Tripp do at a time like this?' she pondered while propping her chin on her hand. She pet her blonde hair and eyed herself in the mirror. The question was an answer within itself, one that she was not deaf to.
She reached across the vanity table and grasped her cell phone and her book of numbers. 'It's time for a little payback.' she grinned. She flipped through the book while planning out her onslaught. She found the page she searched for, slamming it down to study the numbers. A tinting gleam fell over her glossy lips. Her docile fingers began to dial numbers into her pink cellular phone. Her giggling smile was growing as she thought of the lessons she had learned and the information she was taught. 'There's no business like show business...' she hummed in her mind as she listened to the ring of the phone. Finally the ring ended as a engineer answered. "Yes... hello, this is..." she stopped herself for a minute. She needed to be smart and quick about her approach so that there were no obvious distinctions. "Yes, this is actress Leigh Ann Wallace... can you put me on the phone with the DJ, please? I have some hot news for him and he might want the listeners to know." she purred, trying to use as much authority as was given to her as a celebrity.
"You don't know how thrilled I am that you're finally back here Meelah!" Chris chimed as he drove his new black Navigator. Meelah sat with an adorable smile holding her lips. She was as thrilled as Chris to have finally returned to Orlando, but she had more important thoughts on her mind; pain's taking thoughts that kept Meelah lost in her own world. The thumping bass of 702's 'Gotta Leave' held the cars words as they drove down the highway. "Yeah... it is nice to be back here. But of course, I couldn't miss Amanda and A.J.'s wedding either." Meelah announced, easing comfortably into her seat. Chris nodded, riding easy in his car. He quickly signaled to pull into the next lane. It was March, drawing ever-so-close to an important date in Chris and Meelah's friends lives. Chris was glad the event was placed before him, giving him another excuse to see his girlfriend. "A.J.'s been running like a jack rabbit everywhere for this thing. It's like four days away and he says he still hasn't figured out all the songs he wants played at the reception and what song he wants sung during the service." Chris stated, gliding into the next lane without turmoil. Meelah turned to him with surprise. "Are you serious?" Meelah asked, puzzled. Chris nodded, trying to keep a strong focus on the road. He arched his eyebrow. "A.J.'s always been a last minute man." Chris shrugged, speeding up some. Meelah nodded, giving a loose smile.
The song faded from the powerful sound system. "Yes yes yes ya'll... that was none other than 702 with their very hot song 'Gotta Leave'. I like the song... have you seen the video? Those girls are gorgeous!" the DJ announced in a perky form. Meelah giggled at his comments, turning her head to the window. Chris smiled with a lingering glare of jealousy. He made a quick move to turn up the radio to hear more of the DJ. "At least one of O-Town's own was smart enough to snatch up one of them. If you didn't know, now you know... Chris Kirkpatrick of 'N Sync has been dating Kameelah Williams from 702 for quite some time now. Who knows... maybe marriage? Let's not jinx it, but I hear through a reliable grapevyne that the two aer very close and that they are rarely apart, even while on tour." the DJ said coyly. Meelah's head snapped toward the radio. She stared at it as if she was staring the DJ directly in the face. Chris' own ears perked up when hearing the DJ announce to Orlando his status with his girlfriend. "Who the hell does he think he is?" Chris questioned loudly, speeding up the car's movements. Meelah crossed her arms, showing her anger without reservation. "Where do they get this shit? Somebody's always talking trash and always trying to screw things up for the guys and me. I'm so tired of this shit." Chris growled while swirving the car back to the previous lane. Meelah ignored Chris' daring driving to listen closely to more of the DJ's babble.
"And it seems that Chris isn't the only one trying to keep his relationship on the downlow. It would seem that Justin Timberlake's longtime relationship is one of a sticky matter. Now before I've heard that he and Britney had a little thing going on and they used Joey as a cover up.
Well with the recent information I've gotten, that's not so true. It turns out Britney and Joey are somewhat together, but Justin's actual 'significant other' is of a little more interest." the DJ said, almost as if he had witnessed the whole account. He spoke as if the information came directly from Justin, when he knew the true source of his information. "What?" Meelah snapped out, uncrossing her arms and sitting up some. She distrusted the words of the DJ. Chris silenced himself so he could hear every word spat from the DJ's mouth.
"Now ladies prepare yourself for this one... I don't want to ruin anything for anyone. Now I still don't know who Justin is truly seeing, but from a reliable source I've found out that Mr. Timberlake may have been fibbing about his responses to the ill-famous question about him and Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. It would seem that Brian bought Justin a new puppy awhile ago and it was a gift, sort of. Also, it turns out that Brian and Justin have also been sharing a house together for quite some time now. Also, while everyone was off touring in Europe, Justin left the tour to come back here to Orlando because Brian was in the hospital. I'm sure you've all heard the story of how Brian had to leave the tour due to illness and then suddenly Justin was gone because of so-called 'family emergencies'. Wow, Justin's what? He's about nineteen now? A nineteen year old and twenty-five... that's quite the age difference. That's all I have for right now." the DJ gave all the information he was aware of, whether it was factual or not. His information was enough to set most listeners on the edge. "Here's a little Britney Spears with her new song 'Kiss', but stay turned as we try to unravel more of this curious story." the DJ announced.
Chris foot stayed glued to the pedal as he drove. Meelah sat wide-eyed. She was just as dumbfounded as Chris was. She was also speechless. "Somebody's going to fucking pay for this." Chris said as he wildly switched to the far right lane. Meelah glanced over to him after the shock of the car jerking. She feared his expression. "Chris... Chris, babe, this isn't our exit." Meelah spoke out, placing her hand on his arm. Chris shook his head. He was beyond furious. His mind spun with a mixture of anger and betrayel. "Right now Meelah, I don't give a fuck if this is our exit. I've gotta find the others." Chris said, racing up the ramp. Meelah retracted her hand. She sensed that nothing good was coming of this DJ's announcement.
Brian Littrell stood at the bottom of the ivory staircase that led to the floor that held the bedroom he and his husband shared, his son's bedroom, his nanny's room, his office, and a guest bedroom. He looked at his husband staring into his son's room. His powdery-blue eyes stared at Justin with adoration. He loved the way Justin would take the time to watch their son sleep. It was a sign of his youthful innocence. "Justin... come on babe, the movie's ready." Brian whispered out, trying to grab Justin's attention. He hated interrupting Justin's moment, but he knew it was for the best.
Justin leaned against the wall opposite of Angel's room. His arms were folded and he glared into the open door that led to Angel's nursery. Justin turned his head and looked down the steps at the awaiting Brian. He nodded, sighing softly. He turned his head back to Angel's room. "Night Bastian." he whispered. Justin leaned off the wall and dropped his arms. He didn't bother looking down the hall to see if Lea, their nanny, was sleep. He trusted that the day she spent with Angel was trying for her.
Brian kept his eyes on Justin as he slowly and gracefully came down the ivory steps. It was something out of a dream for him. The perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect career, and the perfect romance. It was all too real for Brian. For Brian, it was like living in the castle in the sky that Stevie Wonder sung of. He was, in a word, 'Overjoyed'.
His thoughts were temporarly interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. He glanced down to his watch. It read 9:00 PM. He sighed without content. "I'll grab it." he said, easing into the kitchen. He couldn't hear the words Justin called out to him as the phone got louder. He snatched up the cellular phone without a smile. 'I swear this better not be A.J. for the billionth time tonight.' Brian grumbled, flipping the phone on. "Hello?" Brian said, not recognizing the number on the caller I.D. The sounds of small laughter filled the phone. Brian raised his brow. "Hello?" Brian asked again with a little more command. "Hello? Hello... is Justin there?" the voice soon asked, losing a spot of laughter in the male's voice. Brian leaned against the kitchen counter, disturbed. "Who is this?" he asked, trying to question the caller. "Uhm, this is Kane, the DJ from 93.3, can you please put Justin Timberlake on the phone?" Kane requested. A quick revalation hit Brian. He had picked up Justin's cellular phone and answered it. He glanced over to Justin who had entered the kitchen silently. "Wait, wait... is this Brian? This is Brian, isn't it?" Kane inquired briskly. Brian rolled his eyes and then slouched. Justin gave Brian a funny expression. He was confused by Brian's jittery actions. "Who is it?" Justin asked. "And Justin is there!" Kane shouted, laughing with his shout.
Brian listened again to others laughing in the background. Brian took in a deep breath and then exhaled it with wrath. "Brian... Brian.. dude, do you and Justin have something going on here? I mean you answered his cell phone... yeah, because I was calling Justin's cell phone, not yours. I wanted to ask Justin about it, but I might as well ask you. All the listeners would really like to know." Kane stated, trying to draw out information from Brian.
Justin approached Brian with caution. "Who's on the phone?" Justin asked again, trying to find out why Brian stayed so silent. Brian held up his hand, trying to keep Justin back. "Who did you get this number? How?" Brian asked roughly. He could hear Kane snickering, ridiculing him. "Don't worry about it... a friend of yours gave it to us. Now, tell us, what's up with you and Curly? Did you shag him?" Kane asked, showing his rudeness in the way he mocked Brian. Brian slammed his hand against the counter. Justin could see he was becoming furious. He gradually backed away. "Look, whoever this is, I want to know how you got this number?" Brian hissed. "Dude, I told you already. Now how about you answer my question about you and Justin. Or you could just put Justin on the phone... yeah, put Justin on dude. Come on, please." Kane requested again, pretending to be pleading with Brian. He knew he had the control in the situation.
Brian gave the DJ no more opportunities. He clicked off Justin's cellular phone and then jammed the 'off' button. He dropped the phone onto the counter, his face ravished with animosity. He looked up to Justin, peering at him. Brian balled his fist. "Brian, what's wrong? Who was that?" Justin asked, attempting to bragain with his husband. Justin held his own anxiety while watching Brian. Brian shook his head, stepping away from the counter. "I don't want to talk about it Just. Leave me alone." Brian brooded, quickly walking to exit the kitchen. Justin briskly stepped in front of Brian, striving to stop him. "No, tell me what's wrong Brian." Justin demanded. He refused to let his husband become arrogant. "I saiw I don't fucking want to talk about it Justin. Damn, can't you just leave it at that?" Brian shouted at Justin. Justin flinched when hearing Brian. He was scared and beginning to show it.
Brian stared at the apprehension in Justin's colorful eyes. Guilt had struck him. He watched Justin droop his head and slowly move aside. Brian cursed himself for being so cold, so rough with Justin. "I'm sorry babe.. I just need a little time to think about what happened." Brian said, continuing his exit. He didn't know how to approach Justin for a proper apology. He only knew how to leave to think out his own faults and then try again later with Justin.
"Oh, I bet you're just so sorry!" The sounds of shouting and a door being thrusted open caught much attention at the Zomba Offices in Orlando. It had been two days since Brian's conversation with Kane over the airwaves. Five young men exited an office, one after the other with expressions of distaste. "It was my decision, but you don't have to act like I'm going to be the end of the Backstreet Boys." Nick Carter grumbled toward Kevin Richardson as they walked. Kevin ignored Nick's words, his solid blue eyes holding conviction. Nick didn't fear his eyes. He and Kevin had had their fair share of fights and Nick was not one to lose an argument so easily. "Oh come on Nickie, are you blind? You went and got your own damn management. The BSB is supposed to be a unity... a brotherhood." Howie disagreed from his position. Nick turned his head to glance over his shoulder. He could see Howie advancing. "My mom thought it'd be a good idea if she managed my solo career." Nick explained himself again for his friends. "You see... 'solo career' doesn't means unity. It means breakup, plain and simple." Howie shook his head while speaking. Nick clinched his fists shut, angered by Howie's accuracy.
A.J. and Brian stayed relatively silent in the back of the group. They too were angered by Nick's sudden decision, but even more so by other revalations that came up in their brief meeting. "I still can't believe Kevin's acting like such an ass because I didn't make him best man." A.J. grumbled to Brian while they slowed their walking. Brian placed his hands into his pockets, slumping his head. "That's Kevin for ya. He lost out to Justin and.. well he always hates losing." Brian shrugged. A.J. nodded, removing his sunglasses to stare down the hall.
A.J. glanced at Brian. His thoughts were too much for him to keep to himself. "I've been thinking about things Brian... I mean with the whole drama that's starting to build with you and Justin, with Nick going off to record a solo album this summer and then him switching management... plus Howie's been telling me he's going to take some time off for more acting, I think we're slowly coming to an end." A.J. stated. Brian quickly lifted his head. The words had never been spoken, though Brian was sure that he and the others had had the thoughts a couple of times. None had ever spoken it to another though. "No, no A.J. That's not going to happen. We're all just having some drama right now." Brian insisted, trying to faze the doubts. He wasn't successful. It was too strong inside of A.J. "I mean if we make it through the next two months, I'll be happy. After that, I'll let the dice just roll and see if we get a seven or snake eyes." A.J. said carelessly. He rolled his sunglasses in his hands, a nervous habit. Brian closed his eyes for a second, still attempting to lose the thought of not having the Backstreet Boys anymore. "But if we are coming to a close, I think it's time all of us be real with our fans. Not like in the past where we told them part of the truth... but I mean where we actually let people know what's up in our lives." A.J. added, revealing something important in his secretive words. Brian stiffened up some. He could feel what A.J. was implying. He was unsure if the words were directed specifically toward him or if A.J. spoke of all of his friends, but he knew he was still a part of the equation.
"I told you I won't be the fucking end of us! If anything, it'll be because of Brian and the shit he and Justin pulled a couple of days ago." Nick shouted at Howie. A.J. and Brian briskly looked up the hall to where their counterparts had come to a halt. Nick turned his head and caught Brian and A.J.'s ruthless stares. He shivered while looking in their hollow eyes. Betrayel was the scent of the hall and it was coming from each Backstreet Boy. "When you're ready to sign the papers to end the Backstreet Boys, you let me know Nick. Otherwise, I'm in this until the end." Brian hissed at his friend. He pulled his hands from his pockets and continued to walk up the hall. A.J. knew his words were too harsh for Nick. He held them as he and Brian passed the other three. "I'll be damned if all four of you don't cause us to call it quits before this qeek is over." Kevin murmured, following Brian and A.J.
All five men found their way into another office, this time one that held producers and crewmen from the MTV Studios. It was for an interview that the Backstreet Boys were scheduled for unexpectedly. "You know we should really consider moving the MTV Studios down here to Orlando... the weather is too perfect." John Norris commented as he saw the Backstreet Boys enter the room. They were all silent and amongst themselves. John Norris took mental notes on their actions. He had interviewed the Backstreet Boys on many occassions and knew too well of their usual actions. He could see that they were not the usual live men he was used to. John grabbed a chair near the set up and waited for the Boys to get their microphones on. He still studied how all five stayed relatively away from each other and no words were spoken between them. It was discouraging for him. He could sense that the interview may not be as much fun with the Backstreet Boys.
All five Backstreet Boys found seats near John without complications. John Norris stared at each of them, trying to piece together their expressions. The differences, the varied looks, and the personality traits calculated into several different answers, making it impossible for John to find one solution. "We're all set John." the producer informed John. John broke his stares with the gentlemen and looked down to his clipboard. His questions laid before him, he only had to choose which ones he wanted answers for.
"Well it's been about two months since MTV's had a chance to sit down and talk with you guys... about three or so since I've gotten the chance to talk with you guys. I know you just got back from a trip to Sweden a couple of days ago, what was that like?" John started with a question that sat in the middle of his list. Kevin looked to the guys, hoping they'd drop their past animosity to be civil for the interview. "It was a lot of fun. We were out there to do some recording." Kevin decided to answer the question. Nick nodded, perssing his back into his chair. "We were recording for the new album." Nick added to calrify things. John jotted down quick notes while they spoke briefly. "We were out there for a week with Max Martin and his crew and we did about six songs, but not all of them are going to be on the album. We think about half of those songs will make the final cut." A.J. explained in more detail. John nodded, impressed by their sudden openess. "What are the songs like? Is it stuff that you could see on the old Backstreet albums or are they more adult-like, on a higher level?" John questioned, staying with the hot topic. Brian glanced up from his stare with the floor. "It's a little of both. I mean I don't think any of these songs would have been right for the sound we were giving with 'Millennium', but they're right for the sound we're trying to bring to the audience, you know, the fans now." Nick responded, very amicable about the new album. "It's definetly hot stuff. We've got a song that we think we want to be the first single, because it just fits what we need to release. Something new... but also different." A.J. agreed with Nick's previous statement.
John reclinded in his chair. "Of the songs that you've recorded, are they more like lovey-dovey songs or are they more edgy and hard core?" John pondered, fully interested in what the Backstreet Boys had to offer. Nick released a small laugh, drawing eyes. "We're not becoming rappers or anything, but it's really edgy... at least I think. We don't awnt to be all bubble gum and powdery, we're not Britney Spears or anything. We're adult now." Nick replied. John raised his brow. He made another note on his clipboard. "In total, we've done about ten songs already, here and there. Some refer to love, well mostly relationships. It's a give and take with this album. It's about giving love, taking love, wanting love and then rejecting love. But then again, we like to have fun and we also want to clear things up." Howie added to try and recover from Nick's arrogant reply.
He was not naive to the way the media could twist their words. He had been on the receiving end many times because of little mistakes in his words. Nick nodded with his quirky smile. Kevin eyed him with abhorrence. He was bored with Nick's immaturity. "We try and answer questions about love that many artists fail to." Brian added, making his persence known.
"What are you guys trying to clear up?" John asked with a familiar curiosity. He looked at each of them separately to give them a chance to respond. A round of stares and small comments began to develop after the question was proposed. "We're not a fluff band. We're not a 'boy band' because none of us are boys, we're men. We've got some real direct, slap-in-the-face songs and we're going to put them out with this album." Brian stated, hoping to stir the others away from their other comments. Nick eased his hand back behind his chair, smiling at the camera. He kept his own personal remarks to himself for fear of an argument. "Yes, we have some really knockout songs." Kevin agreed with his cousin. He could sense the direction that Brian desired the others to stay away from.
"We want to clear up that we're in nobody's shadow and we're nobody's twin. The Backstreet Boys are the Backstreet Boys and we don't like being compared with these other so-called 'boy bands'. That's not us at all and we don't like being apart of some other groups attempt to be famous." A.J. stated, finding his way to the category Brian dreaded. John smiled toward A.J. "You guys have had a lot of groups compared to you. So are you sticking with the title 'Standing Alone' to show all the other groups, like 'N Sync and 98° that you're in a group by yourselves?" John inquired to draw controversy to the interview. A.J. quickly nodded. Brian lowered his head and exhaled softly. He was disgusted with the others constant need to prove themselves. "I mean, we have nothing against them personally, it's just that we want to show everyone that they can't be us and we're definetely not trying to be them. Like now, I can see that people are going to try and compare us to 'N Sync when we come out again and it's going to be annoying because our sound is so different from them. I think we'll prove otherwise though." A.J. declared with an overbearing tone. Nick nodded quickly to show he agreed. He again stayed away from his own comments on the situation to avoid glares from Brian. "A.J.'s got this real hot song that's going to show all the other wannabe's what we mean." Nick attached to A.J.'s statement.
John straightened himself up and glanced down to the clipboard. His notes were beginning to run off the page. "Okay, well we were on the topic of love for a minute there... so how is that? You guys are being put out in the public a lot now with your love lives." John said, indirectly referring to three of the five members of the Backstreet Boys. John took a look around the room as the bright spotlights fell on the Boys. The heat was on in more than one sense. Brian thought of what A.J. had said earlier. The possibilities were slim and true. He could see fire had ignited in A.J.'s eyes the second they had entered the room and now he could not fade it. "It's kind of hard to keep a stable love life in the position we are right now." Nick remarked in his shy-like voice. "Yeah, that's true. We try to go on dates though. We're at least dating people." Howie agreed animately. He knew he was only speaking on he and Nick's current situation, but he had to create an illusion for the camera. Howie took a quick look around to see if any of his counterparts would disagree. He always knew where to look for a challenge.
"Well some of us have been able to keep a serious relationship despite our challenges as of late." A.J. proclaimed with his Cheshire-grin. John smiled back at him with the others began to become tense. "So you and your longtime girlfriend Amanda Latona are still together? And it's still serious?" John therw out questions in his own attempt to break the silence. The eyes shot to A.J. to see if he would speak on the relationship. A.J. turned his head a little to shoot Brian a helpless smile. Brian stared at him, unsure on how to reply. He let a small sigh cross his lips and then he quickly smiled back at A.J. A.J. turned his head back to John Norris. "Yes, me and Amanda are still together and are, at this point, very serious about each other." A.J. chimed, never letting John Norris' expressions faze him. John shot him his usual curious look. "That serious huh? Because a lot of rumors have been going around about some serious relationships for all of you... so could you clear the air." John requested in a sly way. All five men shifted their bodies with the uncomfortable qusetion. No man was bravier than the other. "Well all I know is that I'm out of a serious relationship and don't have plans for another for quite some time." Nick announced, finally breaking the silence. He looked to Howie, knowing he would be able to agree. "Never been in one. I've stuck to dating, pretty much." Howie inally shrugged out. He, in turn, looked to A.J.
A.J. tried to adjust himself in his seat again. He could feel the pressure had reached its peak. His heart was strong, but his stomach was not. Bravery was something he had yet to master to its full potential. "Well I'm in a real serious relationship with my girl. Uhm, me and my girlfrined... we're getting, uhm, married soon." A.J. finally said. He took a deep breath after speaking, not bothering to look at John Norris' expression. John tried to catch himself, the shock causing him to become numb. "A.J.? Marriage? To Amanda?" John asked with a stutter. Kevin found himself laughing a little. "Yes, we're all very proud of him." Kevin backed A.J. up, patting A.J.'s shoulder as he did. Brian nodded. His pride in A.J. was beyond measurement. "Yep, old A.J.'s settling down and we think he'll make a good husband among other things." Howie added to the support A.J. desired but did not ask for. A.J. was able to keep his smile when receiving the support from the rest of his band mates.
John sat back further in his chair, still blown away by A.J.'s revelation.
"Well that must be pretty exciting. I always pictured Brian being the first to you know, walk down the aisle." John stated, adjusting to the new situation. Brian blushed a little. He slid his left hand into his pocket, hiding his wedding ring. "Brian's already settled down. He has what he wants and he's pretty much good to go." A.J. replied to John's remarks. John focused his eyes on Brian. Brian nodded, breathing easy in front of John. "Settled down?" John wanted more from the phrase. Brian slumped back. "I'm content. I've already taken the steps that I've wanted and gotten what I've desired. I'm just where I want to be... the first of us to be like that." Brian explained his situation in disguised words. It made it simplier for the rest of the group. John was further impressed by Brian. "He's braver than the rest of us." Nick teased him to lighten the mood of the intense interview. "Yeah, I think I learned from Brian. He was the first of us to settle down with a serious thing and stay there." A.J. concured, still hinting to see if John could catch on. John was, in Hoku's words, another dumb blonde.
A pale expression surrounded John's face. "Well Brian, many times, even as of late, you've been matched up with a certain boy band member. Not to say any of the rumors are true, but confusion has surrounded the story for quite some time now. Is there any truth to it?" John finally asked the question that reporters had kept hushed for months. He also knew it was the deciding question in many MTV viewers' minds. It was almost as important as Bill Clinton being questioned by the grand jury. The slightest wrong move decided his fate and each of his friends knew it. "Uhm, everytime I answer this question it gets blown out of proportion and then people end up thinking the wrong things. I end up being the center of attention for something that's not important." Brian stated with an uneasy voice. John sensed it. He held in a grin as he leaned forward in his chair, giving the illusion of little interest. "But still, is it true Brian? Do you and Justin have a relationship outside of friendship?" John asked, peering at Brian. Nick gripped the edge of his chair, seeing the desperate expression holding John's face. Nick could feel John was passionate about the subject.
Brian kept a stare with him. If he broke it, he was ruined. If he spoke, he was ruined. No matter what, he was stuck in a position that was not comfortable for him or his heart. "I don't like commenting on my personal life because it's personal, but if I choose to have a relationship with someone, I think it should be my choice and my relationship. It shouldn't be the world's relationship because I'm not dating the world, I'm dating or in love with that one person." Brian boasted with a strong answer that left still questions lingering. It was enough though to let John know his boundaries. John leaned back with a petite smile. "If you must know though, I'm close to certain people... and Justin is someone I'm very close to." Brian added, still not revealing his entire life with Justin. He did himself, his marriage and his friends justice by finally taking a stand on what he believed in and what he kept private.
Justin sat on the deck of his home, his cellular stuck to his ear. "I can't believe we've got to do this." Justin said, pursing his lips. "It'll probably be a quick interview Justin. You know we have to stay in touch with the public." Lance responded from the other end of the phone. Justin merely rolled his eyes. He was still accommodating himself with speaking to Lance again. Justin was slowly learning to let all of his grudges go with people he knew. He believed it was the only way to better himself and to make his mind feel better about himself.
Justin heard a click and then soon music filled the phone. "All right, this is the minute you've been waiting for listeners... I've got none other than Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass from 'N Sync on the phone. What's up dudes?" Todzilla, the Atlanta DJ, said will speaking with them on-air. "Good, pretty good." Lance replied first. "Yeah, fine. And you?" Justin tried to rise to a chipper mood. Lance could feel Justin's tenseness, but he was unable to comment on it. "Things are going rather great here in Hotlanta. So tell me guys, have you watched MTV today?" Todzilla questioned, searching for a beginning builder. Justin reclined on the deck, confusion surrounding his thoughts. "No, we've been busy today with interviews. Why, what's happening?" Lance asked, trying to find a quick reference to prepare himself. Justin let Lance take control in the interview as he watched Tyke and BJ frolic in the backyard.
"Well dudes... actually this more concerns Justin. They showed a clip of an interview that the Backstreet Boys did and it was pretty much discussing their love lives. The question of Brian dating Justin came up and Brian sort of... well rather he gave the imperssion that he and Justin were closer than friends." Todzilla informed them, leaving both Justin and Lance in a silence. Todzilla listened through his headphones to see if he could hear them. "I was just wondering Justin, since Brian's making it seem apparent, do you feel any guilt? I mean I don't want to be in your personal life, but if that's true, do you feel guilty about lying to your fans for so long? You've said on many occasions that there was nothing to you and Brian, but yet lately it seems that there is more than you've said in the past. Do you feel bad about lying?" Todzilla spoke out questions that had yet to cross the fans' minds. A strong silence again filled the air waves. Lance tried to be quick with his thoughts, but it was inevitable. "Our personal lives are so hard to have now a days. This was on MTV today?" Lance asked, curious as to why he had not received any press phone calls concerning the matter. "Yes, Lance it was today. I know you're trying to stand up for your friend and all... but honestly, this is something that concerns Justin." Todzilla replied in a serious voice. Lance took that as a cue that he could not argue for his friend. He was in a bind and he only prayed that Justin could handle the situation professionally.
Justin sniffled into the phone. Tears had left his eyes and they were slowly falling down his face. He had fought the question for months, almost a year. It was a strong repulsion that he had built for the media delving into his private life. He was only nineteen and had made it into the tabloids more times than Jennifer Lopez. Justin sniffled again, clearing his throat. "I don't think people understand how hard it is for anyone of us to keep our lives separate from our careers. A lot of focus gets put on who he gose out with and who she dates and it's less about what we have to offer. There are certain people that I like to hang out with and go places with and automatically I get connected to them as if we've been dating for ages and haven't told anyone. I have never lied to my fans when certain questions have been asked. They asked me a specific question and I always answer with the truth. Whether I give you the full out history or not, I give you what's true." Justin managed to pull out while a few moer tears danced down his cheeks. He used his hand to begin wiping them away while awaiting an argument to his speech. "You'll have to excuse us now... we've got to go to an interview." Lance spoke up quickly, trying to stop the interview from going any further. Justin let Lance regain control again as he wiped away his tears. "We should get going." Lance continued to press on to end the interview. "Okay, I don't want to hold you guys. I don't mean to offend you in any way Justin, I just think that the fans should know what's really going on." Todzilla offered an apology in his words. Justin was deaf to him. He was suffocating in his own depression. "Bye." Justin choked out. "We'll catch up with you guys later." Lance added, trying to add a little charm to spark up life for the listeners.
Justin pressed the 'end' button on his cell phone and let it drop from his hands and onto the deck. The sounds of the battery pack splitting from the main phone was like a rain drop on a piece of glass. Justin couldn't hear it over his own sobbing. He curled up on the deck. He could feel something he had dreaded since the beginning of he and Brian's relationship coming on as strong as the rains in Seattle. There was no more rest for him, no more places for him to hide. His tears were only the beginning of the storm.
"Ooh! This is just too cute." Britney Spears cheered as she stared at a see-through, flower-print garment. Lynne Spears, Britney's mother, shook her head with disagreement. Britney pursed her lips and pulled the outfit down by its hanger. "Joey will love it." Britney cooed, placing it with the other outfits she had chosen. "Probably because Joey's a man who loves seeing girls in barely any clothing." Irish Grinstead, member of 702 and Britney's friend, remarked. Lynne nodded to show that she agreed with Irish. "It's quite revealing Britney." her mother commented while staring at the price of the outfit. Britney shrugged without a care. She browsed through a few other outfits while Irish shifted through the collection of Tommy baby-T's that were on a shelf.
Britney followed a different route through the clothing store, searching for other clothes to wear. "Maybe Joey would like to see you in a more sophisticated outfit.. like a power suit." Lynne suggested, trying to stir her daughter away from the provocative fashion she was accustom to. Britney sighed, grabbing a pair of capri's from its rack. "Maybe we should ask Joey? He's just outside in the limo." Britney grumbled, frustrated with her mother's disapproval. Lynne shot Britney a sour look. "I should be just thankful that you approve of this boyfriend... of course that took you some time too." Britney boasted while admiring another halter top. "I just want to watch out for my baby. I don't want you dating just any celebrity that'll take advantage of you or somebody off the street that just wants you for your body and your money." Lynne insisted while looking at some of the clothes her daughter had picked out. Britney rolled her eyes, avoding an argument with her mother.
"Oh trust me Mrs. Spears, Joey's head over heels for your daughter." Irish interrupted them. She held up a Tommy jacket to try and get Britney's approval. Britney eyed the jacket for a few seconds and then nodded. "Of course I still can't figure out how he fell for her in the first place." Irish teased Britney pulling the jacket down and then heading in the opposite direction she came in. Britney giggled and then looked through the khaki's section. "You know me Irish. To the media, I'm always doing something wrong. It's like, 'Oh no, I'm in love. Oops! I did it again.'" Britney joked. Irish nodded, laughing with her.
Britney began to search through the denim bandanas for one that would match one of her outfits. "Excuse me, Miss Spears." a clerk spoke up from the table that Britney was shifting through. Britney looked up with surprise. She stared at the clerk with confusion circling her brown eyes. "Uhm, yes?" Britney replied. The clerk smiled at her when seeing that Britney was humble with her. "I don't mean to interrupt your shopping and all, but there's been a question bugging me. I wanted to know, uhm, if it was true what they were saying about your ex-boyfriend and Brian from the Backstreet Boys?" the clerk questioned Britney with reservation. Britney dropped the bandana from her hands and stared at the clerk. "Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Britney asked in a hissing voice. The clerk backed away from the table a little, showing her fear to Britney. "I'm sorry.. I don't mean to offend you, it's just that it's been all on MTV and some radio stations about how people think that Brian of the Backstreet Boys and Justin of 'N Sync have a thing going on. I only wanted to know if you knew if it was true?" the clerk explained herself, trying to find refuge from persecution. Britney only stared at her with wonder. She was speechless. She figured one of her friends would have informed her of something serious occuring in the media, yet she hadn't talked to anyone outside of Joey. She pondered if he knew anything.
Britney turned to her mother and her single bodyguard. "Uhm, Q, could you pay for this on my cerdit card? I've... I've got to go make a few calls." Britney requested, gathering herself. Lynne looked at her with puzzlement. Britney brushed her hair back and walked from the table. "Oh, now this is too perfect Britney. A little red skirt and you'll be set." Irish chimed as she held up a red baby-T for Britney. Britney's thoughts prevented her from giving Irish any attention. She continued to walk at a fast pace past Irish. Irish stared down the walkway Britney proceeded to move down without acknowledging her. "Britney? Brit?" Irish questioned, lost in the confusion of what was happening. She had as much information as Britney did.
Lynn Harliss made herself comfortable in the office that she sat in with her group, Innosense, and Linda, a reporter from Pop Star magazine. She stared down at her freshly manicured nails as the girls of Innosense were given a light interview. She knew it was only a promotional task for the girls, being that their debut album had just been released a week prior. She took no real notes on the answers given since the group was too new for any strong publicity faults.
"Well ladies, this is off the record, but I had a question for you concerning Justin." Linda commented while scribbling down some notes on her notepad. She looked up to see any reactions from the girls or Justin's mother, Lynn. Veronica sat up erect in her chair when hearing Justin's name. Justin was a close family friend and a man she once dated. She eyed the reporter with distrust. Lynn also became interested in the interview when hearing the utterance of Justin's name. "When I was coming here tonight, I heard on the radio and they mentioned something along the lines that Justin was sharing a house with Brian from the Backstreet Boys and the two also had a dog together... is this true? Does it affect you or the way you respond to things?" Linda asked, holding her pen firm to her notepad. Nikki stared at Linda with disbelief. 'No fucking way.' Jenny thought, her mouth slowly falling open. Mandy unconsciously gasped at Linda. Veronica snapped her head in Mandy's direction and then Linda's. She found herself staring at Linda with hate when she didn't know the woman. Lynn glared at the reporter. She was dumbfounded by the question. "No comment." was all that Lynn could muster. After years of being able to speak her mind and never letting anything happen in her life that she did not desire, Lynn Harliss was speechless and unable to defend her son.
Another morning had come to visit Orlando. It was one of controversy from some ends of the United States, mainly the southern end. Most places were still not aware of what was occuring within the media land. The Littrell house was very aware of what was happening in their world. The never-ending story was slowly find an end to each chapter. It was another one of Justin's fears. He sat in the bed he shared with his husband, alone. Brian was with their son, getting him dressed for the day's activities. Justin kept himself wrapped up in the covers while flipping through the channels on the television. He had caught a glimpse of the MTV interview earlier. The one thing, outside of the brief 'interviews' Brian and Justin had with radio personalities, that broke the silence of 'Brian and Justin'. They had yet to admit to marriage or even being a couple, but speculation was all the media needed to turn the smallest event into the nation's biggest story.
Justin stopped when he saw Rosie O'Donnell on the television. He knew he could find solace in Rosie's constant comic comments. He increased the volume to listen to her while relaxing in his bed. "Well the things that are in the news today are really unbelieveable. I'm flipping through the channels this morning and I stop on MTV. Don't ask me why I stopped on MTV because I believe they just play a bunch of trash anyway... but I stopped there and they're showing this interview with the Backstreet Boys. Since I like them, I figured why not watch, right?" Rosie began her comments while sitting behind her desk. Justin cringed when hearing her. He clutched onto his pillow, fearing what she might say. "Honestly, I can't believe what they were doing to the young guy... Brian. The reporter was up there grilling Brian all about his love life and who he's with and who he's not with. Anyway, at the end of the interview, the stupid reporter guy sits up there and says something like, 'You heard it here first, Brian of Backstreet and Justin of 'N Sync have something more than a friendship going on.' I'm like, well first of all I'm in shock that the reporter would be that bold to say something like that because I didn't once hear Brian come right out and say that, but I was appalled. MTV would go this low as to grill someone on who their with when I really don't care. I don't listen to the Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync or even Madonna just because they're dating so-and-so." Rosie declared in a firm voice. Justin sat up some. He was becoming curious with what Rosie might say.
"It's sick. I mean I was really sickened. I called a few people and they say it's going to be the talk of the town now about how those two are together. Excuse me? Do we want to repeat a Princess Diana incident here. It's crazy. People shouldn't force their way into someone's private life, regardless if it's two guys together. I don't care if they are in the biggest bands in the country or if they're just some college kids from Albany, it's not our place to force answers out of them about something private. That is truly sick." Rosie went on, her voice failing while speaking. She received a strong applause from the audience. The camera began to draw closer to her as a tear escaped her eye. "I know some of the little girls who have big crushes on them might be hurt if, you know, Brian and Justin are a couple, but they should be happy. Every single time I see either one of them, I can see they're happy. If it's with a girl or with a boy, these two are happy and we should be happy for them. We shouldn't be all in their faces trying to make them crack. It's their lives." Rosie added, letting another tear fall freely. The audience cheered her again. She was making another stand and this time it was going to mean something in another audience's eyes. "I just want to say to Brian and Justin... if you two are happy together, despite what this media circus wants to say about you, keep being happy. Don't let them get to you. If anything, Rosie O'Donnell supports you greatly. if you need anything, call me. May God bless you two." Rosie closed out her argument with fond words. Her words drew up another loud round of ovation from her audience members.
Justin sniffled while watching her. He held in the burning tears to listen to her. He had never thought to look at the situation the way Rosie did. When he saw her tears, he knew she cared. He also knew she barely knew him otuside of his few visits to New York, but he could see her cheeriness each and every time he visited her. She had a genuine love for everyone, despite differences. It was enough for him to know that she publicly supported him and his husband. He relaxed himself in the bed feeling a new spirit about him. He only knew of the strength he had to have, the one he desired. If anything, Justin had to be strong for his son.
Brian sat in the living room as Lea played with Angel on the floor. Brian reclined on the couch while looking at the television screen. Rosie O'Donnell face appeared as expected. Brian had taken the time to sit down and watch the program after dressing his son. He made himself comfortable while waiting for the appropriate time to leave the house with Lea and Angel. Brian eyed the screen as Rosie held up the cover to a CD. He recognized the CD and automatically deduced who the performing act would be.
"Here to perform their new single featured on the 'Jack of All Trades' soundtrack... performing for the first time on this show, please welcome Innosense!" Rosie announced, drawing up an applause from her crowd. Brian watched contently with a small smile. He was thrilled his friends were getting such high publicity, helping to further their career and expand their audience.
The blue, pink and yellow tinted lights fell over the small stage Rosie had for her performance acts. Standing in all black capris, white tank tops, and blue button down shirts, tied in a knot in the middle with cuffed sleeves, were five young women. They all held microphones and stood in a stance with their hands looking down. They awaited the accompanying music from the band to begin their performance and make their music-worthy appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell show.
Danay was the first to look up when the music began as the DAT tape filtered the ad-libs through the speakers. She smiled toward the audience with her mysterious lips. She sensed the others lift their heads as they began to harmonize the first words of the song before drifting to Danay's verse.
[I don't care what you say, say, say, say, say]
Say (say) no (no)
Say no more
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la (so what you wanna do?)
I've come to tell you what's on my mind
Baby I have changed
I don't wanna keep playin' no games
I keep tellin' you time after time
That I (I, I)
I don't care what you say
I don't care what you do
Cause I'm never comin' back no more
(Never comin' back no more)
I don't care what you mean
I don't care how you feel
So say (say) no (no)
Say no more
Danay moved to the back of the group and allowed Jenny to move to the front following the first chorus. Mandy stayed to the outside of the group's dancing, casually smiling to the audience. She glanced over the the pre-occupied Nikki who stayed strictly to the routine. Mandy pondered if it was Kevin that troubled Nikki so greatly or whether it was the fact that their friends, Justin and Brian, were being subjected to scandal that the media created. She tried to hold her midn to her own steps, knowing that Veronica too did not give much into the performance outside of what was expected of them.
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la (so what you wanna do?)
You didn't care much for what I did
Treat me like I'm dirt
Babe, when I was hurt
I was so lone, talking to myself (come on)
But now I (I, I)
I don't care what you say
I don't care what you do
Cause I'm never comin' back no more
(Never comin' back no more)
I don't care what you mean
I don't care how you feel
So say (say) no (no)
Say no more
Jenny glanced out with her eyes being filled with happiness. She was being loved by the crowd, just as much as the other four girls. She felt out of Amanda's shadow during the performance. She longed to be the one to have control over her next steps instead of trying to mimck Amanda's and singing verses of songs that were not meant for her. She was proud to have her own verse, meant for her, on the JIVE-written song. She forgot her counterparts existed in the performance and took her own steps to make the performance star-worthy.
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la
[I don't care what you say, say, say, say, say]
[Oh baby, oh baby]
To say (say) no (no)
Say no more
(Say no more)
Nikki took the high note without trouble. The other four girls stood around her as she belted out the high note for the bridge to the song. Veronica watched her with little envy. She had to concentrate on being 'perfect' for the cameras. She had to make herself likeable despite her feelings toward the media for placing her friends in an uncomfortable situation. It only hurt her to watch the press search through Brian and Justin's lives to bring out a 'good story' for viewers.
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la oww, la la la la la la
La la (so what you wanna do?)
I, I
I don't care what you say
I don't care what you do
Cause I'm never comin' back no more
(Never comin' back no more)
I don't care what you mean
I don't care how you feel
So say (say) no (no)
Say no more
I don't care what you say
I don't care what you do
Cause I'm never comin' back no more
(Never comin' back no more)
I don't care what you mean
I don't care how you feel
So say (say) no (no)
Say no more
La la la la la la
Oww oww
The song ended promptly and somewhat dramatically for the girls. They all smiled for the crowd, waving to several audience members without distress. They accepted the adoration they received from the crowd despite their own thoughts. "Innosense! You girls are great and so beautiful!" Rosie chimed when advancing toward them. All five women looked at Rosie with brilliant grins. "Thank you." Nikki spoke up first for the group. Rosie offered her hand to all as Nikki spoke. "Wow, I mean... gosh that was a really good song. It's really upbeat and all and you all can really sing. Sometimes we have groups, girl groups and guys, that come up here and they really can't sing. They can say the words, but it's not real good singing. You guys, well you blew me away. Your voices are wonderful." Rosie stated with her warm charisma. Innosense laughed at Rosie's flattery. "Thank you so much." Danay replied, losing her laughter. "We try." Veronica giggled out in her broad Southern accent. "We'll be right back with Innosense!" Rosie announced as the show drew to a commercial break.
Brian lowered his eyes to look at his watch. He only had a short period of time left and he knew it. "I'm going to go get some bottles for Angel and his teddy bear." Lea declared while carrying Angel. Brian quickly glanced up to her. He nodded for her, complying with her actions. She left the room with Angel while Brian kept his eyes on the television.
In the corner of Brian's eye he could see a figure advancing to the couch.
He rotated his head to see Justin, dressed casually, inching near the couch. Brian could see a distant expression on Justin's young face. They were both tense around each other due to their conflict with different media events. Brian made the attempt to ease his husband's mind by patting to the cushion next to him. Justin took the sign as one of kindness. He gradually sat down next to Brian. Brian extended his arm and placed it around Justin's shoulders. He let Justin cuddle to him as the show returned from its commercial break.
Rosie sat her desk with Innosense finding seats near her. "Well your debut album is out and doing pretty well on the Billboard charts too. Did you expect to be a big act?" Rosie questioned them. Each girl looked at the other with timid smirks. "Nope, not at all." Mandy answered first. Jenny nodded to show her concurrence with Mandy. "It's a nice feeling to have though, to know you have a good audience." Nikki stated with her trademark smile. Rosie watched the girls with fascination. "We're happy to be doing what we're doing and hoping we can go far with the album." Danay finalized the answer to the question with her statement.
"Now last time you girls were here, there was a different girl with you. Uhm, she was dating a Backstreet Boy, correct?" Rosie pondered. The question brought on an unseen tension between the girls. Jenny straightened herself in the chair, not wanting to be the one to answer the question. Danay slowly glanced over to Nikki. She was aware that she did not wish for neither herself or Nikki to answer the question. "Yeah, her name is Amanda... Amanda Latona. Right now she's on a little hiatus from the group until after May." Veronica spoke up to explain the perplex situation the group lived in. Rosie lifted her brow with mass confusion. "I'm sure everyone's heard by now, at least if you watch MTV, that she's getting married to A.J. from the Backstreet Boys. That's why she's going to be off from the group for a little time because she's getting married and needs time off for that." Danay finally responded with an honest reply that left the crowd in a sudden silence. Rosie puckered her lips with shock. Danay gave her an uneasy glare. She felt the crowd's eyes baring down on her and her bandmates. "Oh, she's getting married huh? And to a Backstreet Boy?" Rosie wondered with a child-like curiosity. Nods soon ensued her question. Rosie ran her hands over her desk with uncertainity. "We're very happy for her... she and A.J. are a very happy couple." Mandy emphasised for the audience who offered a small applause for the couple. Rosie gave her a unique smile while still reflecting on the revelation she had received.
Rosie leaned over some toward the girls. "Well it's good that she's happy and is taking some time off to enjoy the marriage. Dating a Backstreet Boy can't be easy with millions of girls screaming for your husband." Rosie teased with her mock laughter. The girls followed her in the laughter. "No, it's not an easy task." Nikki replied from her own personal experience.
"But then again, there's bonuses too... free tickets." Danay joked while trying not to reflect on her short-lived relationship with Howie. Rosie giggled harder at the mentioning. "She'll be a Backstreet Girl now... an official one." Veronica snickered.
Rosie's mood lightened when speaking with Innosense. She found herself enjoying their presence as she rarely did with musical guests outside of her own personal friends. "Speaking of the Backstreet Boys and MTV, how are you guys handling what's been going on with this whole scandal that involves Justin and that guy from the Backstreet Boys?" Rosie inquired with a sore tone. Veronica exhaled softly and let her hands fall to her lap. She glanced away from Rosie, desiring to avoid the inquiry. Nikki licked her lips with fear rolling off of her tongue. "Well we'd like to thank you, Rosie, for saying what you did... cause uhm, it needed to be said. The media does get into our, well celebrities' lives, a lot and it's really unnecessary." Jenny stated with appreciation in her soft voice. A needed applause followed Jenny's words, sending praise towards Rosie. Nikki nodded in accord with Jenny's declaration. "It's just that I feel the media is exploring these two boys' lives just to have something to talk about instead of concentrating on something more important. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me who they are dating and who they are in a relationship with unless that person is related to me or is a friend of mine. So it's sad to see they have to suffer for the world to be entertained." Rosie began her argument again for the cameras. She received another applause, this time from the girls of Innosense. "It is very sad and we're so hurt by it. People start to ask us what we know about it and what we have to do with it and it's like, 'We're not them. We don't know what's going on in their heads and their private life isn't ours to speak on.'" Nikki began to speak, offering her thoughts on the morbid situation. Rosie nodded, giving Nikki all of her attention. "Those are our friends, we don't like seeing them being analyzed by every step they make." Nikki added. She tried to pull herself back into the back of her seat but her feelings drew her upward and erect.
"It's nobody's business if Brian and Justin are a couple or if they're not. It's no one's business if A.J. and his girlfriend decide to marry or not. It's not the press' business to find out who Britney Spears is really dating or whether or not Christina Aguilera likes someone because it's our lives, not theirs. That really hurts to know you can't have a regular life just because the press needs to know everything you do. I think Brian and Justin should be able to continue on as they are, but that's not how it's going to be. The media is always going to try and distort what is and what isn't." Veronica affirmed with disdain floating through her brown eyes. Rosie could see the scorn eyes glaring at the camera. She could see the fire inside of Veronica that also brewed inside of her own heart. Veronica's words drew up ovation, the loudest one that was announced during the segment. Rosie also began to clap, agreeing fully with Veronica's emotional statement.
As the applause died down, Rosie turned her head back to the girls of Innosense. "Well I want to thank you ladies for coming by here today. You are five beautiful, talented and very intelligent young women. I hope you'll stop by the show again." Rosie said. A unision of agreeance followed her request. Rosie smiled toward them without hesitation. "Good. Please go pick up their debut album, it's self-titled. Thanks Innosense for stopping by." Rosie said as they drifted to another commercial break.
Brian drew his arm from around Justin when the show gravitated to another commercial break. Justin leaned in the opposite dierction and followed Brian to scoot up on the couch. "Don't you have a meeting today?" Brian asked his husband, lowering the volume on the television in the process. Justin's mind was still stuck in the words his friends and Rosie had proclaimed. He wanted to reach out to them and thank them, but he was unable to. It disappointed him, but he was sure they could feel his praise in some form.
"Just?" Brian tapped Justin's shoulder to try and grasp his attention. Justin turned to look at him with adoring blue eyes. An angel in his eyes, Brian lifted his hand to run over Justin's face. He ran the smooth hand up to Justin's head of reddish-brown curls and began to lightly pet them. "Huh?" Justin replied in a dull voice. Brian shook his head with a snicker on his thin lips. He leaned down and put his head in Justin's lap. Justin smiled and began to twirl his fingers through Brian's blonde hair.
"Are you going to a meeting today?" Brian repeated his question for Justin. Justin gave a small yawn and then began to rock his body. "Unfortunately." Justin sighed. Brian knew Justin hated being forced to meetings that revolved around their personal lives. There was no doubt that Johnny Wright only sought to discuss the career he had planned for 'N Sync and how disappointed he was in them. Brian felt the same pressure when ending his rpivate relationship with Leigh Ann. He refused to allow Johnny to build any rumors concerning the two and what was of their relationship. Brian felt it was too personal, just as A.J.'s relationship with Amanda was personal in Germany and Kevin's short-lived romance with Kristin Willitis was personal, but still public when the Boys toured Europe. Brian felt, more or less, the reason for the Backstreet Boys ending their erlationship with Wright Entertainment Group stemmed from not being able to have a private life.
Brian could feel Justin's shadow taking over his light. His eyes gazed up to see Justin's lips approaching his. He shot out a small smile before letting Justin tenderly kiss him. He allowed Justin's soft lips to graze over his. His tongue naturally moved upward to slither into Justin's mouth.
Justin massaged his against Brian's tongue, causing the kiss to become more than a token of marital affection. Brian could feel Justin's finger rolling over his cheek. It was another sign of devotion that only they shared. The kiss lingered in pleasure for each of them, something they had not had the opportunity to experience due to their conflicting schedules and their fear of being seen by the media.
"Dada!" Angel's voice caused the kiss to be broken. Brian's lips parted from Justin's with a giggle. Justin smiled and lifted his head, rotating it to glance at his son in Lea's arms. Lea blushed, feeling uncomfortable with interrupting Brian and Justin's kiss. She shyed away from eye contact and allowed Angel to reach towards his parents. "Dada!" Angel repeated his exclaimation. Justin allowed Brian to sit up from his laying position. "We should get going." Brian said, carefully rubbing Justin's thigh. Justin's lips curled into a frown. He leaned back while Lea entered the room again.
"I... I didn't mean to interrupt... uh, you two." Lea stuttered out. Justin winked at her for confidence. "It's okay... we need to get going anyway." Brian said, standing up from the couch with disappointment on his lips. Lea nodded, keeping Angel in her arms. Brian glanced back to Justin who eyed Lea and their son. "Be strong babe... Johnny can be a pushover sometimes." Brian offered support to Justin. Justin returned his attention to Brian. He admired Brian's positive nature. "Okay, I will." Justin replied. He gave a small wave to his son as Brian pulled his keys from his pocket. He sat back as Angel, Lea, and Brian walked towards the door. He tried to keep Brian's words at the front of his mind. His goal was to remain strong as Brian had asked him to be.
Being strong was not as easy as Justin thought it would be. It was not easy when someone he thought would support him bailed out on him. "I just can't believe this has happened. It's ridiculous!" Johnny Wright barked while pacing around his office. Justin stared down at the floor. He sat with his hands cupped and his body slouched. He suffered the offensive comments from Johnny while he ranted on his disappointment in Justin and Brian. "Of all the things I've taught you, you've sunk to this. It's fucking ridiculous!" Johnny yelled, crossing past Justin again. "Johnny, you've said that already and really, it's not changing anything." Chris spoke up, seeking to defend his friend. He placed a hand on Justin's shoulder for comfort. Johnny eyed them. "And that's what got you right where you are today. Just letting guys touch on you.. I should call the press and tell them you were only seventeen when Brian lured you into bed and screwed your future." Johnny grumbled, finding a place behind his desk. Justin's head lifted with a firm look of anger. He gripped his fists shut, eyeing him with disgust. "My husband did not rape me. He's didn't lure me into any shit and I'm sick and tired of you having a fucking coronary just because some people think me and Brian are a couple. Get over that shit." Justin finally found his strength when arguing with Johnny. "Amen." J.C. agreed, staring at Johnny with spite.
Johnny pushed some papers in the direction of his clients. "Look at this Justin. All of you, look at it. Don't tell me it's a small problem... because it's huge. I've spent months trying to keep your marriage, your whole relationship a secret. Just one day, one night and you go and fuck things up." Johnny growled while letting the others look at the tabloid covers talking about the event that only took place a day before. Chris therw one of the papers on the desk. "It's garbage and bullshit. There's not one ounce of factual information about Brian and Justin and their relationship in there." Chris debated, crossing his arms. Lance flipped through the tabloid with fascination. 'This could be me.' Lance thought while reading the comments about Brian and Justin. The possibility scared Lance. He may have had a fond love for all of his friends, but Lance knew when the day ended, it was about him and him only. He couldn't stand his ground for Justin. He knew if he did, he wouldn't have the support he needed if he was to come to the alley Brian and Justin were in. It was not something he looked forward to, but Lance was a man that considered all options. That alley was an option.
"It's all bullshit." J.C. mumbled, slamming the tabloid onto Johnny's desk. Johnny brushed the tabloid aside and sat down in his chair. He leaned back in the chair, eyeing the plaques that covered his wall. He shook his head. "It's going to be some serious bullshit if you decide to fuck around like Brian and Justin have... do you hear me J.C. Chasez?" Johnny hissed, turning his head to glance at J.C. J.C. stared back at him. "Is that a threat Johnny?" J.C. questioned in a low voice. He desired a challenge in Johnny. He longed for one.
Johnny swirled in his chair and pressed his arms onto his desk. He watched Justin. The pale expression wrapping Justin's face saddened Johnny.
He could spot a few tears awaiting to escape Justin's tender eyes, but none were able to break. He had many times thought of Justin as his son. It was a natural instinct for him. He desired to protect Justin, at any cost. If it meant the end of Justin's marriage to keep Justin from being hunted by the media, Johnny would sign the divorce papers himself. Watching Justin's expression of loneliness, of nothingness left Johnny beside himself. He hated the feeling. He despised knowing that he was the one that would have to break Justin's life of happiness. He only looked to the future, which meant Justin being free of sufferage.
Johnny turned his attention back to J.C. He glared at him. It wasn't J.C.'s battle. Johnny knew that it wasn't J.C.'s battle, but he only knew that he had fostered inside each of the boys to support each other like brothers. "J.C., if... Josh, if you are put in the same situation Justin's put in.. then I'll have to drop 'N Sync from WEG. I can't go through this again." Johnny announced. He stood from his chair and pushed it aside. Joey shot him a cold stare. "You are really fucking bold, did you know that?" Joey brooded with Johnny. Johnny ignored him. He didn't seek another battle in the war. He only needed his peace with himself and with what was right in his mind.
Justin was pleased to have left the 'meeting' with his fellow band members and their manager. He entered his house with a small spirit of faith in his heart. He did not trust all of the words that Johnny spoke to them. He felt it was more of a one-sided compromise that Johnny wanted them to work with and not something that would actually benefit Justin or his friends. Silence was not always golden and Justin, from experience, knew.
Justin brushed his hand over his shorter reddish-brown hair. He was thankful for a haircut, though he was enjoying growing his hair out. He dropped his car keys onto the table in the living room and walked around. The house was relatively silent, causing curisoity to bloom in Justin. "Brian?" Justin called out as he walked from the living room to the kitchen.
He received no response while he changed rooms. He glanced around the country-decorated kitchen, only seeing signs that proved that Brian was home. He contemplated the evidence from the glass of orange juice on the counter to the fact that both of Brian's cars were parked in the driveway. "Lea?" Justin began to call for another name while strolling around the kitchen. Justin lifted Brian's glass and carried it to the sink. He poured the remains of the orange juice into the sink and placed the glass with the other dirty dishes. He sighed in the process. He was confused as to why he heard no responses. "Bastian? Angel?" Justin finally began to call for his son, turning from the sink to prance to the counter again.
"They're not here Just." Brian's voice finally entered the kitchen. Justin jumped at the sound, surprised to finally hear a voice in the house outside of his own. Justin turned his crystal-blue eyes to Brian and then smiled at him. "Did they go to the park?" Justin asked with a coy voice. He slowed his thoughts when seeing the expression holding Brian's face hostage. Justin peered at Brian. His experssion of hopelessness crushed Justin. "What's wrong?" Justin gradually asked the question Brian had been awaiting. Brian folded his arms and leaned on the doorway. He perssed his thin, pink lips together. "The adoption agency called early this morning... before you were even up." Brian said softly, trying to force a lump from his throat. Justin's heart sank when hearing the beginning of Brian's explaination. He braced himself on the counter. Brian cleared his throat. "Uhm, they weren't happy with, well what's been going on in the media lately. They don't want Angel brought into any of it or put in any danger. So... they said I had to get him to a safe neutral place until a solution could be brought up... or, if things get worse, they're going... they're going to..." Brian couldn't say the words. He scratched the end of his nose and tried to hold in tears that begged for release. Justin stared at him with tears forming in his own eyes. He shook his head with denial. "Justin, if things don't get better... they're going to take Angel away from us." Brian sniffled out. He closed his eyes and let the few tears fall slowly down his thin cheeks.
Justin turned his head from Brian. He did not wish to watch Brian cry. He had to build his own strength. "Why didn't you tell me they called? Why didn't you let me say goodbye to my son?" Justin inquired with conviction running through his voice. Brian quickly wiped away the tears from his face. He leaned off the doorway and walked further into the kitchen. "I knew how you'd react if I told you." Brian responded flatly. Justin slammed his fist into the counter, causing Brian to jump with shock. Justin ignored the pain that began to throb through his fist when he stared at Brian. "You don't know shit Brian. Angel's mine son too and you just sent him off without even letting me say goodbye." Justin barked at Brian. Brian eyed Justin, his mind becoming defensive. "You wouldn't have been able to make it through the day had you known that you wouldn't be able to be with Angel." Brian argued mildly. Justin shook his head while letting tears of wrath escape his eyes. "And how the hell do you expect me to make it through the day today? What? Did you think that maybe telling me after Angel was gone would make me feel better? Did you?!" Justin shouted at Brian. He gripped onto the counter while trying to control his rage.
Brian slammed his fists shut. He had no inclination to get into an argument with his husband but he could he see it was becoming inevitable. "Justin, I was looking out for you. I know how attached you are to our son and if I had told you, you would have tried to stop me. Now I don't plan on losing our son just because you don't agree with my decisions." Brian remained calm in his speech, though inside of him he had stronger words to use with Justin. "I can't believe you'd do that to me. I'm supposed to be the one you said you'd love forever and now you're just snatching my son from me. What kind of marriage is that?" Justin's words shot to sore subjects. Brian's eyes peered at him with despise. "Angel's our son Justin, not yours. What do you want of me? Do you want a divorce now? What, is it over just because I wanted to spare you hurt? If that's what you think marriage is about, you, then you're mistaken." Brian hissed, releasing the tension he had with Justin.
Justin eyed Brian bitterly. "Bullshit." Justin brooded, turning his eyes downward. "That's right, bullshit. That's all you're talking is bullshit. I'm not trying to hurt you in any way, but the shit that's going on in our lives right now could mean someone taking our son away. And I'll be damned if I lose him because of some shit the media started or you acting like a weakling because things aren't going your way. Life's full of shit Justin, but you've got to deal with it." Brian barked at Justin without reservation.
He let his emotions go to silence Justin.
Justin stayed motionless next to the counter. He could feel his rage slowly losing it's force, but he still had animosity toward Brian. He sniffled softly and placed his head in his hands. "Just leave... please just leave me alone." Justin requested while fighting tears. Brian stared at him, longing to comfort Justin. In the past days, Brian had yet to comfort Justin about their current predicament. He felt his hands opening and beginning to reach to Justin's direction, but he stopped himself. His lips wanted to part to speak, but he held them shut. He only stared at Justin before turning. He gathered his thoughts and then ran for the door. He exited the house and left Justin in silence, again.
Justin stepped into the guest bathroom with a frown touching his tender lips. His thoughts were set on one thing. The thoughts led his eyes to turn into a coal hue. Slowly, things were slipping from his grasp. What he wanted in life, love, and happiness were concepts he was beginning to misinterpret. He hated it.
Justin sniffled as he looked around the bathroom. It didn't seem worth the beauty it was given. He shook his head with cascading tears kissing his cheeks. "I can't God.. I can't do it anymore." Justin said in a choked-up voice. He stumbled to the sink while letting his thoughts shadow his feelings for Angel and Brian. He grabbed a hold of the faucet and turned the right knob, allowing some cold water to run into the ivory white sink. He lifted his eyes to glance at himself in the mirror. At one time he thought he was handsome, worthy of anyone's love. It was no longer the case for him. He couldn't bare the sight of himself, alone. No one stood behind him or near him to comfort him and his thoughts of himself. It was always the case when Justin needed someone, they seemed to be pushed away by his own foolishness.
Justin grabbed the side of the mirror and slid it to the side. The opening revealed the medicine cabinet that Brian and Justin had filled with basic medication for their guests. Justin eyed the asprin with frowning eyes. He reached out and grabbed it from the second shelf. He closed the mirror again to stare at himself. The tears that once flowed were now but single drops of salty water. It was now nothing. He stared down to the bottle of asprin. He blinked his eyes several times to rid himself of the tears. His mind saw the bottle as a sense of escape. He sniffled while contemplating his options. He stomach turned at the thoughts his mind was conceiving.
Justin had heard a song earlier that day that rang through his head. Aimee Mann's voice and the lyrics breezed through his mind while he stared at the bottle of asprin. He knew what he held it for and he knew what he was going to use it for. He only wish the lyrics Aimee sung were enough to stop his battle with life.
You look like a perfect fit
For a girl in need of a tourniquet
But can you save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
That suspect they could never love anyone
Justin let another tear roll from his eye. He had to be strong, or at least that's what his mind told him. In truthfullness, Justin was scared. His fear bubbled from deep inside of his stomach. He grabbed the top of the bottle, twisting it slowly like the beat of a drum. It moved slowly with hsi shaking fingers. The sniffles were drownd out by the sounds of the running water. Justin didn't care, just as he didn't care for what he was intending to do. It was just life and he was playing with it in its cruelest form.
Like Peter Pan
Or Superman
You will come
To save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
That suspect they could never love anyone
Except the freaks
That suspect they could never love anyone
But the freaks
That suspect they could never love anyone
Justin watched as his fingers continued to fool with the child-proof top. His stomach lurched as he did so. He was guilty of wanting to spare himself the pain and trauma that was occuring in his life. He swallowed a lump in his throat, but it was not receeding. His fingers popped the top off of the bottle and like rain, it fell in a graceful fashion to the floor. The top was not alone in its magical flight. Soon the bottle of asprins followed as Justin's body bent forward. It was not just a common nervousness that Justin felt in his body. His sadness and dark depression sickened his body and the result was disastorous as Justin vomitted into the sink. The pills splashed on the floor like glass onto concrete. He grasped onto the sides of the sink for support as his body rejected his overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Just as the thunderstorms rumbled over the lands of Savannah, Justin's body shook with turmoil.
Justin's hands quickly ran under the still flowing water to wash his face of his sickness. He cried softly into the water. He hated the emotions running through his blood. He felt two arms wrap around his waist and support him as he washed his face. "It's okay... just let it out..." a soft country voice whispered into Justin's ears. Justin sniffled harder and spit into the sink. He wanted to rid himself of every thought that had ran through his mind in the past ten minutes. It was a painstaking attempt, but Justin had found a small piece of confidence in his heart.
Justin lifted his head from the sink and sniffled again, this time it was softer. He turned his body to be embraced by Brian. Justin coughed roughly, clutching tightly onto Brian. Brian sighed softly and brushed Justin's hair back. "I won't let them take away my son... and I'll never let them take you away from me." Brian whispered to Justin while cradling him. Justin cried inaudibly with his tears sheding like his blood. Brian looked down to the pills, which were spread acrossed the tiled floor like dots on connect the dots. He didn't have to look to the design of the pills to know the meaning. "It's not the way Justin, you know it. If you killed yourself... you'd be killing me and Timber too, because we love you more than anything. We can't breathe without babe... it wouldn't be fair at all." Brian said, trying to coax life back into Justin. He needed Justin to understand. Suicide was a serious issue inside of Brian's heart. One that he couldn't handle. To lose someone to that act would be to lose his faith in life. Brian did not wish to lose that faith or Justin.
"Are... are we going to.. to be okay?" Justin asked in a shivering voice. Brian looked down at Justin, offering him an innocent smile. He tapped the end of Justin's nose lightly. "You tell me Just." Brian said, hoping to build Justin's faith. Justin stared up into Brian's solid blue eyes. He only saw peace and trust. He sniffled softer. "I think we'll make it." Justin finally responded to his own question. Brian nodded. His smile was brighter because of Justin's words. He can slowly see the confidence returning to Justin's face. He leaned Justin back against the wall and grabbed his left hand. "Come on... get yourself together and I'll take you to see our son." Brian stated, squeezing Justin's hand for assurance. Justin licked his lips and gave Brian a faint smile. He trusted his husband. His heart told him that all he needed was to be able to look at his son's face and see that life continues. Brian released Justin's hand and helped him stand so they could leave the house to see their child.
Quiet is the way she enjoyed her evenings. Britney was fortunate to spend this evening in the bedroom of her boyfriend's parent's home. She relaxed on his bed with her head resting upon a fluffy pillow. The setting was nice for her, a few candles burning and the sounds of her own breathing to sooth her. There were no outside disturbances from the television, the stereo or Joey Fatone's family members. It was tranquil.
Britney rested on top of the bed's linen with a hand on her stomach and another hand holding a pamphlet in front of her face. She let her hair drap over the pillow and her legs stayed curled close to her. Her eyes stayed focus on each line of the pamphlet. She read each fact of information that was embodied into the small pamphlet. She ran her fingers lightly over her stomach. 'It's your body and they can't tell you what you should and shouldn't do with it.' Britney said to herself while reading over the important statements from the pamphlet. She closed her eyes trying to picture her life if she chose to fllow what the pamphlet advised. 'Still... will they support me? Will he love me if I do this?' Britney began to consider all of her options while lingering on one page of the pamphlet.
Britney heard the door begin to jiggle open. Her eyes lifted briskly to see who was entering the room. She became stiff and tense while trying to peer around the door to identify the person entering the bedroom. She spotted Joey's off-red hair and then his cheeky smile as he peeped in the room. "I hope you're not dressed." Joey joked with her while parting the door so that he could slip inside. Britney sighed and then rolled her eyes.
She swiftly pulled the pamphlet down and slid it to the side of her. "Let's not talk about sex." Britney requested obnoxiously, turning her body some. Joey raised his brow with confusion. "Who was talking about sex? I just wanted to see my gorgeous girlfriend in the form God created us in." Joey said, attempting to fix his mistake. He dropped his backpack next to his dresser and gathered a few of his clothes. He glanced over at Britney who seemed to be in her own world. "You were reading?" he questioned while dropping the clothes into the hamper. Britney nodded with arrogance.
Joey shrugged at her. He flopped onto the bed and crawled to get closer to Britney. Britney rested her head on the pillow and tried to escape her previous thoughts by looking in Joey's glassy brown eyes. She sensed that he was tired. She drapped her hand up and then ran it over his silky hair. "What were you reading?" Joey asked, curiously peering over her to try and see the pamphlet. Britney curled her finger in Joey's hair. "Nothing important." Britney responded briskly. Joey reached over Britney for the pamphlet. Britney lifted her arm quickly to knock his out of reach. "I said it was nothing." Britney hissed. Joey continued to reach over Britney.
"If it's nothing, then I can see it." Joey insisted as he snatched up the pamphlet. Britney exhaled heavily and pushed Joey back. She rolled from her position and stood.
Joey stared at the cover of the pamphlet with wide eyes. He began to crumble the pamphlet in his hand when he stared up to Britney. "Please tell me this is for one of girls." Joey hissed out a request. Britney refused to turn and look at him. Joey sat up on the bed with doubt in his eyes. "Are you?" Joey asked a question that lingered in his mind when he saw the pamphlet. Britney sniffled softly. She had no tears to shed, but her fear terrorized her. "I'm not sure... I'm two weeks late." Britney replied, revealing her dilemma to her boyfriend. Joey sat, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe that he was in the same position he saw A.J. and Amanda in almost a year ago. He scratched his head while thinking of what to do. "Well this is definetly not an option." Joey declared, tossing the pamphlet aside. Britney crinkled her nose. She wrapped her arms around her body to hug herself. "It's my body Joey." Britney argued, spinning around to glare at her boyfriend. "And it's my child too." Joey rebuttled. He was a headstrong man, Britney knew it, however his point was true to reality.
Britney shook her head and walked back to the bed. She found a seat on the edge of the bed; she was still holding herself. "I'm not ready for children, Joey. I don't think I'll be ready to have children in a year. This child couldn't have been conceived out of love because it's unexpected.
If I choose to have an abortion, I have a right to." Britney stated in a soft voice. Joey crawled to the edge of the bed and sat near her. He put his hand in her lap, offering his shoulder to her. "No, Britney, that's not right. I helped to bring about this child, so you can't just go and kill it without me agreeing. It may be your body, but the child is only half yours." Joey disagreed flatly. His facts were cold, but they were real. Britney hated it.
"I don't even know if I'm pregant." Britney huffed out, leaning her body on Joey's. Joey used his other arm to wrap around his girlfriend. He felt her need to be held. He kissed the top of her head as another sign of affection and then began to pet her hair. "There's that small chance that you could be just late with your period." Joey agreed with her. He was remaining relatively calm for Britney, though inside of him he was battling with the aspect of being a father before he desired. Britney sighed softly.
"If I'm not, no matter where we are or what we do, I want to be on birth control and you have to wear a condom... always." Britney demanded in her gentle tone. Joey nodded, kissing the top of her head again. He could not argue with the statement because it ran with the rules he began to set up for himself.
Joey rubbed Britney's leg while holding her. "You wouldn't have done this without me, would you?" Joey inquired. Britney snuggled her smaller frame to Joey's body. She could feel his thick beard rub against her head. "No... I wouldn't have done it without you Joey. Like you said, it's your child too." Britney replied. Joey sighed inside of himself. It was a relief that his girlfriend still had faith in their relationship. He again kissed the top of her head and held her close to his body. There was nothing left to say on the subject, only a waiting period that women and men despised with a passion.
The evening had rushed upon Orlando, drawing closer to a more important day. Lance Bass was blind to that day as his mind was concentrated on more pressing matters. He sat in a lone office near Johnny Wright's at the Zomba Offices. His light green eyes stared down at sets of papers that described 'N Sync's claimed duties to their management, their record label and to their name. He reviewed each line closely with his own purpose. His pale fingers flipped another page of paper while his eyes avoided the section on how many albums the group was forced to produce for the label. 'It says nothing about the members... just what has to be done and what we get.' Lance thought to himself while reviewing what he owed to the company and their distributors. It pleased him little, but his sole purpose was to find a loop hole. He wanted an easy way out. He desired something that aided him in an attempt to break free. 'Nothing.' Lance sighed while sliding another contract aside.
Lance wanted to break free from 'N Sync and the past that had followed him because of the group. The opportunities he lost out on and the drama that brought him to his knees. He saw a better life had he not chosen to be with the group and allow them to be his first priority and in most cases, his only priority.
"Damn... it shouldn't be this hard." Lance grumbled while pushing aisde the documents concerning his personal earnings. He threw his head into his hands, frustrated with the grueling process to avoid being sued for leaving the group he called family. "Life's full of challenges, Lance... I thought you figured that out." a crisp voice spoke out to him. Lance jumped a little with the initial shock of hearing another's voice. His mind began to calculate the tone and easiness of the voice. It was one of mystery. His head lifted so that his pale green eyes could stare upon the figure that watched him. He stared to the doorway of the office and, with a greater surprise, felt his eyes swell. Staring into his face did that to Lance. It could have been because he felt so close to the man that looked upon him or it may have been beacuse he was an unexpected arrival. No matter the reason, Lance didn't let this reasons prevent his mouth from lowering in shock.
"Don't bother to get up, I can see you're once again comitted to your work." the voice commented as the man entered the office with a smooth stride. Even in his business suit, the man still dazzled Lance. Lance felt himself choke up, unable to speak to him. "I remember it was a night like this and you were just the way you are tonight, the last time we... well uhm, 'talked'." a comment that struck Lance roughly. Lance felt his cheeks redden with blush. "Bryce." Lance finally let out while staring into the green eyes that he once held affection for. Bryce Winters smiled down at Lance. "In the flesh." Bryce chimed. He placed a hand on Lance's shoulder and tried to shake the shock from him. Lance nodded his head as if he was unable to do anything other than that. Bryce giggled softly and grabbed a chair from the side. He drug it up to Lance and then sat in front of me, holding a smile that Lance relished.
Bryce glanced over to the desk that the contracts were spread across. He shifted through some of them, recognizing a few from his work as 'N Sync's P.R. "So what are you doing here so late at night?" Bryce questioned, looking over the documents. Lance watched him with precise eyes. He did not want to take his eyes off of Bryce's glowing figure. "I... I could ask you the same thing." Lance replied while glaring at his former lover. Bryce gave him a candid smile while fumbling through the contracts. He licked his lips and then glanced up to Lance. "It looks to me as if you're looking for something in these contracts... possibly an easy way out of being with the four guys who love you more than anything." Bryce remarked while placing the contracts on the desk. He reclined in his chair and awaited a rebuttle from Lance.
Lance twiddled his fingers and stared down to the ground. "They don't love me anymore." Lance responded softly, trying to clear his throat in the process. Bryce puckered his lips with doubt surrounding them. He brushed a hand over his head as a sign of nervousness. "Justin's mad at me for some odd reason. Joey and Chris don't really say much to me outside of what's going on with 'N Sync and Josh... well Josh doesn't feel anything for me anymore. I don't know if it's because of Nick or maybe he's afraid that me and Nick are too close again. I just don't know." Lance fussed out his reasons. He sulked in his chair with sadness holding him in place.
Bryce sat back up in his chair with confidence spiraling his eyes. "They love you more than anything. Joey thinks of you as a little brother, just as he does Justin. And Justin, he loves talking with you and knowing you'll always be the one to handle his problems and affairs. Chris thinks of you as his backup through anything. And J.C., well... we all know how J.C. loves you in his own special way." Bryce contended Lance's words.
Bryce grabbed Lance's chin and lifted it, trying to stare into Lance's eyes. His finger ran over the bristles of dark hair growing from Lance's chin. Lance kept his eyes looking down. He was aware of what Bryce wanted, but he knew staring into Bryce's eyes would only remind him of the added pain he caused Bryce. "You can't hide from life, Lance. Whatever it may throw in your path to detour you or even to hurt you, you've got to keep going. It's only a test and you fail the test when you give up." Bryce whispered to Lance, holding his chin loosely. Lance's eyes slowly began to lift. He found Bryce's eyes and the memories didn't surface. Only the thoughts of holding Bryce during the night and watching the love in his eyes returned to Lance. "I didn't give up on life despite what happened between me and you. Now you can't just give up because things aren't perfect and haven't been for months. It's a slow process, but you get back what's taken from you." Bryce reassured Lance. Lance had faith in Bryce's words because he knew Bryce was a victim. It wasn't the easiest thing for Lance to accept, but he couldn't love Bryce the way he did Nick and J.C. To see the trust and genuine life restored to Bryce's eyes gave Lance hope.
Bryce released Lance's chin and sat back in his chair. He rolled it closer to Lance's, hoping to show Lance a friendliness that the two once lacked. "As for your question... I'm here, well in town, because they are thinking about taking Angel away from Brian and Justin." Bryce replied. He stared out into the room with a hint of despondency reigning in his voice. Lance turned his head to give Bryce his full attention. The revelation surprised him, but it explained to him Justin's distance from the group outside of the media's constant study of his love life. "Why does that concern you?" Lance wondered with curiosity. Bryce grazed his fingers over the metal chair. "Angel is my God-son." Bryce replied flatly. Lance perked up when hearing the added surprise. He arched his brow, showing Bryce that he was not informaed. Bryce chuckled mildly. "I'm here in defense of Brian and Justin because I think they're both great fathers. See I was the one who helped Brian adopt Angel. A friend owed me a big favor over at one of the adoption agencies... so back in mid-September Brian told me how bad he and Justin wanted to adopt a child. I got to work on it in early October and by early December, we had found someone. My friend pushed the paperwork along quickly and there you have it. Angel was born into the Littrell house." Bryce explained. Lance was dumbfounded by the background of Angel's adoption. Bryce smiled while think of his God-child. "Brian and Justin made me the God-father because I helped them to get their son." Bryce added with his beaming grin. Lance innocently smiled back at him. Lance was also fond of Brian and Justin's son and hated the idea of them losing their son so soon. "You're a good man Bryce, a real good man." Lance remarked, placing his hand casually on top of Bryce's. Bryce laughed loudly. "Tell the men of the world that." Bryce said sarcastically. Lance shook his head at Bryce's sour humor, but still released a low laugh.
"So what have yo been doing since..." Lance was unsure of whether he should return to the past with his question. Bryce turned to him. "Since Johnny fired me?" Bryce finished the statement for Lance. Lance nodded with a small frown. Bryce smiled loosely. "Don't worry James, I don't blame you for me getting fired. It's just the way the dice rolled." Bryce offered his reassurance for Lance. His words brought out a spot of happiness inside of Lance's black heart. Bryce sat up more in his chair, letting his body become erect. "Well actually since leaving WEG, I've had a lot of job opportunities Right now though I'm working publicity for Mandy Moore and handling a little touring PRing for LFO. Just the basic celebrity stuff." Bryce responded cooly. He brushed some lint from his suit in a fashionable way. Lance was impressed by his ex-boyfriend. Despite their troubled past, Bryce had landed on his feet.
Lance relaxed his shoulders to prepare himself for his next question. "And what about your love life?" Lance's curiosity got the best of him. Bryce smiled faultlessly. "I've put it aside for right now. I'm waiting to see if things might happen in other areas." Bryce responded, letting his palm open to clutch Lance's hand. Lance looked down to their folded hands with an honest smirk. "What about you James? Still chasing Josh?" Bryce pondered. He was sore with the subject knowing that Lance denied him love because of his own lust for J.C. Lance cleared his throat quietly. He shrugged a little. "I'm not really chasing him anymore. I've sort of let Josh make up his own mind on what he wants of us. Me and Nick, well we're friends, but still intimate. However, I can't see anything happening there outside of what we have now. It's possible, but he'd have to want it as much as I do." Lance explained himself. Bryce continued to hold Lance's hand with regard. The softness in Lance's hand added to his former feelings for him. "And Matt?" Bryce added his final component to Lance's troubled love life. Lance laughed sorely. The mentioning of the name was humorous to him. "Matt who? I think I only lusted for Matt because I was skeptical about where me and you were headed with our relationship. It was more of a sexual thing. I don't even talk to him anymore. He was like a condom, you wear it tonight and you flush it tomorrow." Lance joked on the perplexed situation. Bryce gaped at Lance oddly. He had once been envious of Matt Thompson during Lance and his relationship, but the feelings Lance expressed left Bryce feeling foolish about his erstwhile emotions.
Bryce glanced down at his watch and saw that the time he wanted was soon dying. He looked back up with a meek frown. "I should be going. Listen, I'm going to be in town for just a few days to do some P.R. stuff for Mandy, plus handle this business with my God-son. I'm staying at the Hilton if you want to call me and just talk like we did tonight. You know the cell number. I've got a new house if Tampa, so if you call me, I'll give you the address." Bryce declared while standing from his chair. Lance followed him in his actions, watching Bryce carefully. He refused to let go of Bryce's hand as they stood. "I'll do that Bryce." Lance nodded while speaking softly. Bryce gave him another smile that reminisced on what they shared together.
Their hands finally parted with the sounds of regret. "And when and if you figure out who you do want to be with, you know the number because I've figured out who I want to be with." Bryce added as he stepped towards the door. Lance took his words to heart. He was being given a second chance, but he was uncertain about what to do with it. He watched Bryce as he pushed the door aside. Bryce lingered in the doorway, staring at Lance with his dazzling eyes. He caught Lance smiling back at him. He gave Lance a wave and then disppeared into the halls, leaving Lance with one final decision to make.
It only took one ring of the doorbell for J.C. Chasez to start moving quickly from the kitchen on his condominium to the door. "Don't worry Chris, I've got it!" J.C. shouted out to his roommate. J.C. adjusted his plain white T-shirt and cargo pants as he glided past a few moving boxes and the couch. 'I can't believe he's going to be gone in two weeks.' J.C. said to himself while admiring a few of the boxes. It was true, Chris Kirkpatrick would soon be moving to a house of his own, leaving J.C. to have the apartment to himself. J.C. did not seek the extra space because he fond a true companionship in his band mate. He tapped the edge of one of the boxes for promise. He trusted that his friend would find solace in a place of his own, but he knew the memories Chris would carry would be that of scandal due to J.C.'s hectic, and at times stressful, love life.
'I wonder who's at the door?' J.C. questioned when finally reaching the door. It was the day that J.C.'s friends awaited, another wedding. J.C. let go memories of the last wedding he attended and the problems that arise afterward. He hoped for better concerning A.J.'s wedding and what it would bring to his own life. J.C. glanced down to his watch while turning the knob on the door. He had but only two hours to get dressed for the mid-afternoon wedding. He was aware he had to show up early for the service causing his schedule to be tightened by many minutes.
J.C. pulled the door open quickly. The wind gushed over him to reveal nothing. No one stood outside of the door. J.C.'s curious eyes searched around the hallway of his building. No one was to be seen. He furrowed his brow with the event. "I've got no time for games or knock-knock games." J.C. growled out, stepping into the hallway. Still there was nothing outside of the echo of his voice. A roll of his eyse signified J.C.'s added anger. He haerd something crinkle as he moved his left foot from its position. He diamond-blue eyes glanced down to the floor with concern hollowing them. An evelope rested near the foot he had just moved. 'Huh?' J.C. thought while bending down. He grasped the envelope and lifted it. On the front of the cream-colored envelope read the name 'Joshua Chasez' in a familiar handwriting. He could feel a letter encased in the envelope drawing up more curiosity in his mind.
"Who is it?" Chris called out as J.C. reentered their condo. J.C. kept his focus on the envelope he carried. "It was... some kids playing jokes." J.C. replied with the same loud voice. There were no further comments from Chris, leaving J.C. to open the envelope. J.C. shimmied past the packing boxes to find the couch. He flopped down onto the plush couch and relaxed some while admiring the page-long letter. He did not bother to skim through it. He wanted to read every word, letter, noun, vowel and verb encased into the letter. He could see that the letter meant something, otherwise the writer wouldn't have left it for him at such an unexpected time.
Dear Josh,
Wow, haven't we been through so much together? It's kind of hard to find a place to start with this letter. I know you, and you'd prefer me tell you this in person, but if we could all say what we wanted to in person, then letters would be nonexistant. Rather poetic? I learned from you.
I want to make this letter short because I know if I write too much, it's going to hurt me a little more than it might you. Probably because despite our past, which has been a rather sorted one, I still have so much love for you. But as a man, as gentlemen, I've learned that there comes a time when we all must receed from the war and allow the just to win. I, unfortunately, am not the just in this case. It sucks, but I'm not. As much as I want to say you're the one who took my virginity and we spent so much time together, you owe me your heart, I can't. If it was that easy, then I suppose that Brian wouldn't be with Justin right now, correct? Despite my objections to them in the past, I can't deny Justin what he has. He's won fair and square and who am I to decide otherwise? I am but a man who only wants love, but can't ever get it to go my way. This time though I won't cause everyone else heartache for what I want.
I know it seems like I'm rambling and it's only because there's so much I wnt to say to you that I haven't in the past. I have to start by saying I love you above anything. The men that I could have had, the men that I almost wanted were still not enough to compare to what you gave me. When we look back at things, we can say that me and you had some great times as a couple. Why deny it? I feel deep inside that you loved me and it's the best feeling in the world for me. But even as I love you, I have to do what's best for you and for me. So I'm asking you, no, I'm telling you to go after Nick. I know it's hard to imagine me saying it, but it's time that all three of us realize what we really want and to let go of this foolish pride we've been carrying around. We've had our fair chances at love and it's obvious that it didn't work out for us. You and Nick only had one breakup versus our many. It says something to me. It says that you love him honestly, with all of your heart. Don't let him walk out of your life like you let me because it's not going to do anything for either of you.
Don't worry about me, I think I've found what I wanted all along. I just needed to get out of my system what I felt for you. So we all win in this game, I suppose. Please heed my words Josh. I love you a lot, as a friend and trust that you know what you need in life as much as I do. We can't let this pettiness ruin both of our chances at trying again. We both owe each other that. Plus we'll always have the times we shared together and a friendship that I hope will only bring us closer as people. I'll see you at the wedding, with Nick.
With all my love,
James
J.C. refolded the letter slowly. He made sure his fingers were delicate with the paper that was composed of Lance's heart. He let a small sigh break through his thick lips. J.C. felt choked up by the letter, but he held his emotions inside to think. He had always known Lance to be a loving man and even though they shared their on and off moments in the past months, J.C. felt the bond was still strong. He never felt a link in their chain broken because of their justified love for each other.
J.C. scratched his incoming beard while sinking into the cushions of the couch. Busta, Chris' pug, acme marching up and hoped onto the couch with J.C. J.C. smiled down at the dog and pulled him into a small hug. J.C. was not being given a choice in loving Lance. He was aware that it was now denied to him. It hurt mildly, but J.C. accepted the cards he was dealt in life. He was satisfied knowing that he could leave their broken relationship with the friend he started it with. His thoughts now pointed to whether or not he was ready to take Nick back into his life and into his sullen heart.
Meelah stood in front of the mirror that stood in Chris' room. "Do you think we should swing by the hotel and ride to the church with Irish, Misha and Tony?" Chris called out to his girlfriend. Meelah couldn't hear Chris over her own thoughts. She was holding her shirt up in one hand while her other hand glided lightly over her stomach. She admired herself with fear-stricken eyes. Her smooth skin seemed to develop in another shape in that area. She traced her fingers over her navel and then the rest of her abdomen. Dread struck her as she did. She closed her eyes with her troubled thoughts. As much as she wanted to hide her trepidation toward her fate, she felt it drawing nearer and nearer to her reality.
Meelah caught a glimpse of Chris reentering the room from his bathroom. She kept her shirt up to stare longer at her belly. "Did you hear me babe?" Chris questioned her, striding past the bed to reach her. Meelah shook her head, giving him a silent answer. Chris adjusted his tie and then stared at Meelah. He was perplexed by her sudden silence toward him. It was if, to him, she wasn't herself. "Hey... Meelah, what's wrong babe?" Chris asked briskly out of concern. He stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders with care. Meelah lowered her shirt and closed her eyes again. She did not wish to answer her boyfriend. She searched for another way out, but she had used up all of her resources.
Meelah turned so that she and Chris were face-to-face. She watched the love grow in his glassy brown eyes. It was comforting for her, but still, her own dilemma left her to distrust the comfort. Their brown eyes locked into a soundless stare. Meelah's tender hand grabbed one of Chris' and led it downward. His hand brushed up against the fabric of her shirt until it reached her stomach area. Meelah pressed his hand lightly against her stomach, still holding a stare with his eyes. Chris was subsequently bewildered by Meelah's conduct. Meelah offered Chris a whispy frown. Chris could see the loss of color in Meelah's cheeks. He observed the numbness ringing through Meelah's eyes. "Chris, I'm pregnant." Meelah finally spoke to him with a inanimate voice. Chris' hand slipped a little on Meelah's stomach when hearing the announcement. His eyes broadened. It was an unbelieveable statement for Chris to hear. It was not that he could not accept the truth in the statement, but the unexpected event left Chris without a word to speak to his girlfriend.
Meelah sighed again and pulled Chris' hand from her abdomen. Chris watched as his hand slowly fell to his side. He was not satisfied with her rejection. He briskly pulled his hand back up and placed it softly on Meelah's stomach. Meelah dropped her eyse to look at Chris' hand. She observed it slowly rub over all areas of her stomach with a natural care. She glanced back up with worry. "How many months are you?" Chris asked with a small smile. Meelah felt her heart go numb when seeing Chris did not renounce her. "I... I'm only a month." Meelah replied in a stuttering voice. Chris nodded while lifting her shirt some. He began to caress her smooth skin. "So we can expect our baby in... hmmmm..." Chris hummed. He began to calculate the math in his head. "The doctor said probably late October or early Novemeber." Meelah replied softly. Chris finished his calculations with a smile. "Maybe the baby will be born near my birthday." Chris chimed. Meelah giggled quietly. She placed her hand on top of Chris' with the reassurance she had lost.
"Does this mean you want to keep the baby?" Meelah asked him a question that she was unsure of in her own heart. Chris looked up to her with a furrowed brow. He continued to brush his hand over her stomach. "Of course, Meelah. I don't want you to have an abortion... me and you are capable of raising a child together." Chris responded. Meelah tried to build up as much hope as Chris had shown her. "I'm only twenty-two." Meelah whispered. "My mom was only sixteen when she had me." Chris remarked.
"We don't even live together, are you sure we can handle a child together?" Meelah worried. Chris nodded happily. Chris pulled Meelah's smaller body close to his. "I was trying to save this for tonight, but I guess I might as well say it now." Chris said as his free hand dipped into his pocket. He interlocked he and Meelah's hand over her stomach. Meelah let the tranquility swallow her as she stood with Chris. Chris pulled out a ring from his pocket, a small gold one with princess cut diamonds. The sun refracted its brawny light onto the piece of jewelry. The glimmer flickered into Meelah's eyes. She stared downward to catch the beauty of the ring. Her eyes began to grow larger as Chris' had before. "Uhm, I don't know how to say this right because I've never done this. I'm not as good with words as someone like J.C. or Brian or Kevin, but Meelah, I love you. I'm not asking you this because your pregnant and I feel some obligation to you and the baby. I'm doing this because over the time we've been together, I've never been so happy with someone. We've been together for a while and hey, I've never been one to look a gifted horse in the mouth. So Meelah, babe, would you do me and our future child the honor of jumping the broomstick with me?" Chris spat out his words. He wasn't as poetical as he wanted, but he felt his words were enough for her to understand. He held the ring over her left hand, only waiting a reply to dictate the actions his hand would take.
Meelah looked at the ring and then at Chris. She felt a surreal emotion touching her heart. It was guiding her in the direction she needed to go. Her mind gave her no time to question her options. Her heart was going to answer for her, the same answer Meelah felt she would have given Chris back in December. "Yes." her lips ushered a whisper to Chris. Without a further word, Chris slid the ring onto Meelah's left ring finger. He didn't wait for further statements or other reasons for why. He only wanted to know that Meelah was going to be his wife.
"Yes! She said yes!" Chris shouted out, pulling Meelah into a strong hug.
Meelah laughed as she hugged onto Chris. The overwhelming joy inside of both of them lit the room up with love. "J.C., she said yes! She said yes!
We're gonna get married and she... she's going to have my baby!" Chris continued to bellow while embracing Meelah. Meelah placed her arms around Chris' neck as he lifted her up. The sounds of laughter echoed from both of their bodies.
"She said what? You're going to do what?" J.C. asked as he and Busta entered the room. Chris placed Meelah back down to the ground and turned to J.C. J.C. admired the glimmering smile that was painted on Chris' face. "Me and Meelah are going to get married... and she's going to have my baby." Chris exclaimed, placing his hand back onto Meelah's stomach. J.C.'s fell open with surprise. He looked from Meelah to Chris and then vice-versa. They both nodded to assure J.C. that Chris' words were truthful. Busta ran up to them barking with his own foolish joy. "Congratulations!" J.C. bellowed out, running over to them as Busta had did and pulling both of them into a joyful hug.
They all fell into laughter when J.C. initiated the hug. The laughter grew louder as the three stumbled onto the bed. "We need to celebrate!" J.C. announced as he broke the hug. Chris wrapped an arm around Meelah and held her in the bed while J.C. sat up on the bed. J.C. smiled down at the couple, envious of their romance. It was indeed a celebration for them as J.C. watched Chris mature from the shy man who barely went on dates to the man who was soon to become a husband and also a father.
The two hours J.C. was left with soon passed and it only left two hours until the wedding was to commense. "Damn, I'm not sure if this is right." A.J. complained as he fiddled with his bow tie in the mirror of his changing room. He played with the ends of it, trying not straighten it without choking himself. "Let an expert help you." Justin advised while walking over to A.J. A.J. huffed out a sigh and released the tie from his fingers. "You're just nervous." Justin remarked while fiddling with A.J.'s bow tie. "Yeah, I think I noticed that an hour ago when my hands wouldn't stop sweating." A.J. responded sarcastically. He drug his hands across the side of his pant legs. Justin shook his head with his candid smile. He adjusted the tightness of the tie and then left it to be. "There you go." Justin chimed, looking at the perfected tie. A.J. turned back to the mirror and took a stern glance at his attire. Justin had performed a miracle in A.J.'s eyes, though he was not a man to admit it. "That's only because you've done this before. It's my first time so I'm not as good." A.J. mocked him. Justin peered at A.J. and then rolled his eyes. "That's funny because Brian said I was damn good our first time!" Justin jested with his frail country accent. Justin began to snicker at his own joke while A.J. adjusted his suit. "You're such an ass." A.J. commented with a devious grin. Justin nodded while laughing, his face flushing into a bright red color.
"What about my hair? Does my hair look okay?" A.J. asked Justin while examining his hair in the mirror. Justin took a quick glance at the platinum white hair that A.J. sported. It was daring, but went with the white motif Amanda and A.J. incorporated for their wedding. "It's hot." Justin assured him, envious of the stylish way A.J. had his hair done. A.J. grinned humbly. He turned to the side and looked at his best man. To A.J., despite the fact that he had known each Backstreet Boy for over five years, Justin was the closest friend he had. In any instance he knew he and Justin could go to each other for advice and for support. A.J. felt close to Brian as well, but his connection to Justin was of a greater volume. "You know if I like dudes, I think I'd steal you fom Brian just to fuck." A.J. said bluntly, releasing his Cheshire-grin for Justin. Justin crossed his arms with a silly grin. "Let's see... your dick versus that hung country boy I have every night... hmmm, there's no competition. Sorry A.J., Brian's just got it like that!" Justin insisted to play along with A.J.'s joke. A.J. stared Justin up and down and then laughed. "What's your man got to do with me?" A.J. teased him longly. Justin rolled his eyes and looked to the mirror. "It's all about the way he says my name." Justin cooed, puckering his lips toward the mirror as he would for a camera. A.J. patted him on the back with his coy gleam. "Yeah, he wins because I'll be damned if I'm sceraming your name while we're fucking." A.J. snickered. Justin fell into the laughter with him, showing no shame towards he and his husband's sexual activity.
There was definite activity around the church as guests found their way inside and other members of the wedding party danced around the church trying to accomplish their assigned tasks. Denise McLean searched around the entrance of the church for any sign of the other Backstreet Boys. She turned her head to the side and caught a glimpse of J.C. passing by her. "J.C!" she called out to him to cease his movements. J.C. spun around and looked at her oddly. He fished his hands into his pockets and then slouched some. "Have you seen Howie or Brian or Kevin?" she asked briskly, stepping up to him with a rushed expression. J.C. pondered her qusetions for seconds. He cleared his throat softly and glanced into the church. "I know that Brian's outside with Angel. I haven't seen Howie, but I heard that Kevin's down the hall talking to Nikki." J.C. responded with the information he had received in his short time at the church. Denise took in the information and processed it quickly as she debated on what to do. "Well I know Nick's in there with his family and all... so I guess I should round up the others then." Denise contemplated while speaking. J.C. looked toward the inside of the church where the congregation sat. J.C. searched the group that sat inside, in the pews. "You said Kevin's down the hall?" Denise's voice interrupted J.C.'s view. He turned again to her with a less-than-thrilled expression. He merely nodded for her as a response. Denise saw no further help in J.C. and quickly rushed off down the hallway in search of Kevin.
J.C. slinked into the church where the congregation sat. He glanced around with a meaningless smile. He spotted Amanda's family to one side and A.J.'s family to the other. He glanced at the friends he knew inside of the church and the ones he was fairly knowledgable of. He gave a quick wave to Joey who ast talking with Britney and her mother. He smiled towards Lynn Harliss who was seated in the middle of the pews with her husband. He still had not found what he searched for in the congregation.
A small tittering laughter drew J.C.'s attention to his left side. He glanced over several pews before spotting Nick sitting with his mother, Jane Carter, his young brother, Aaron Carter, and his young sister, BJ Carter. He saw no sign of Nick's other siblings, but it was irrelevant to J.C.'s purpose. J.C. shimmied past a few more walking-in guests and rounded a pew that only sat a few people. He reached his destination with a solemn expression. He found a seat on the pew behind the Carters and stayed quiet to remain unnoticed.
"Those were some good times." Nick remarked with a humble grin. "Like the time Brian came over to the house and we all went swimming." Jane agreed with a deceitful purpose. Nick nodded, his smile growing as his mother spoke. He reclined back in the pew, resting his arms on the side. "Isn't that when Brian slipped in the pool and pulled Nick in with him?" Aaron asked with an excited tone. Soon, all four broke into a secret laughter while reminiscing on the fond memory.
BJ turned her head to the side to make sure they were not the attention of the attendants at the wedding. Her eyes caught a quick glimpse of the area surrounding them. She turned back to her family with a petite smile. 'What?' her mind did a re-take of what she saw when glancing around. She quickly turned back and eyed the pew behind them. Her eyes lit up like a champagne glass in the light of a chandelier when eyeing the person sitting behind them. "J.C.!" she cried out, leaping from her seat in the pew. BJ reached over the pew to try and hug J.C. J.C. giggled at her and briskly stood from his seat. He reached over the pew and grabbed BJ, pulling her into a small, but affectionate hug. BJ snickered while hugging J.C. with a never-fading grin. "How have you been BJ?" J.C. asked while breaking from their embrace. BJ adjusted a few strands of her blonde hair before speaking. "I'm so good now that I get to see yyou. I miss you being around." BJ replied. J.C. nodded toward her. "Yeah, I miss seeing you too." J.C. concured.
J.C. glanced down to the other three Carters who remained silently when seeing J.C. "Hey Aaron and Jane." J.C. spoke up to try and coax some enthusiasm out of them. Aaron waved to J.C. while Jane remained motionless.
J.C. glanced over to Nick who gave him a small smile. "Can we talk?" J.C. requested softly. BJ's smile grew when seeing the effort being made by J.C.
Nick gave him a small nod, stand up from his pew. Jane looked at him with disapproval. She did not feel comfortable with her son communicating with another man that broke his heart. She crossed her arms to show her son that she objected to his choice. Nick was blind to his mother's relentless control over his life. He hesitated when seeing her face. It commanded him without forceful words, just discouraging expressions. "Please Nick... it's kind of important." J.C. requested again with a plead. Jane lowered her eyes at her son. She knwe how to toy with his emotions. Nick stood steadfast. "Remember you told Brian that you'd go outside and play with Angel for a little bit." Jane reminded her son to show her force over the situation.
BJ watched her mother with disbelief. She had yet to view her mother's attempts to force Nick upon Brian, but she could now see it without fault. Aaron had mentioned the effort to BJ, but she never gave it much thought. She doubted her brother's words due to the fact that their mother discouraged Aaron from seeing Mandy Moore. BJ believed it was an act of revenge Aaron sought to strike against his mother. Now BJ could see that he was being truthful with his words.
"Nick, go ahead and talk with J.C. Angel's going to be here for the wedding, but it sounds like what J.C. has to say won't last forever if you don't go now." BJ spoke up to her brother, hoping to shatter the mind-lock Jane had on Nick. Nick's blue eyes glared at his sister. He had never heard her speak up so poetically. Nick also knew that his sister was very fond of J.C. and at times, she still thought of J.C. as Nick's boyfriend. "Uhm, yeah, I think I'll do that." Nick agreed with BJ without looking at his mother. He could see the passion in BJ's eyes was enough to convince him otherwise. BJ gave him a perky smile. Nick smiled back and then winked at his sister. He slipped past his mother and into the pew that J.C. sat in.
"Oh, and Aaron... Mandy called while we were at the hotel. She said she'd be here and waiting for you outside if you wanted to sit with her at the wedding. Why don't you go outside and see if she's here." BJ added, rotating to gaze at her younger brother. Aaron perked up at the mentioning of Mandy Moore. "Are you serious?!" Aaron asked briskly, almost in full doubt of his sister. BJ nodded happily. Aaron leaped from his seat with excitement. He shifted through the pew and ran toawrds the aisle. BJ gave a soft laugh when seeing Aaron run off.
Jane swiftly grabbed her daughter's arm with anger fueling her expression.
"I told you not to tell Aaron about that. He has no time to be fooling around with that foolish girl. She's probably just another tramp like that Britney Spears." Jane hissed at BJ. BJ's crisp blue eyes trailed down her arm and then up into her mother's eyes. She exhibited no fear toward her mother. She challenged her with her own expression. "Mom, get real. Aaron and Nick need to find what they want for themselves instead of letting you pick who they could love. Nick's well over Brian and Aaron can handle being with Mandy. She's actually a really nice girl." BJ argued in an undertone. Jane arched her brow toward BJ. "I don't know what you're talking about. Your brother and Brian will make a perfect couple. And Aaron will be fine once I set him up with that girl from PYT." Jane brooded. BJ peered at Jane. "Mom, that's crazy. When you set me up with Chad, I had the worst time of my life. He was boring, not very stylish and dear Lord, he thought we were going to have sex on the first date." BJ gushed out before yanking her arm from her mother's grip. Jane's mouth fell open with unprecedented shock. She gripped her hands shut with a furious fire gleaming in her eyes.
"That bastard. How dare he think he can sleep with my daughter?" Jane sneered. BJ proposed a glimmering look for her mother. "Mom, I'm not a virgin." BJ said briefly before leaving the pew. Jane sat motionless with skepticism. She hated baring witness to her children's rebelious nature. She also despised being proven wrong as she was on several occasions.
J.C. and Nick made themselves in the pew they sat in at the back of the church. They watched as more and more guests flocked into the church. J.C. laened in the corner of the pew moving his eyes from Nick to the guests and vice versa. "Wedding's tend to be so..." J.C. was looking for the perfect word to use for the situation. Nick moved back in his seat, resting his hands in his lap. "Boring? Depressing?" Nick offered answers to J.C.'s missing word. J.C. raised his brow with surprise. "No, romantic. They give you a new sense of yourself." J.C. retorted. Nick rolled his eyes with a foolish smirk. He cocked his head to the side. "If you say so." Nick exhaled out. "You don't feel the love in the air?" J.C. questioned Nick, sliding his own hand into Nick's lap. Nick naturally latched onto the hand as he did when they were a couple. J.C. caught the sign and visualized what was of their romance. "There's not really that much love, Josh." Nick replied with an irritable voice. J.C. shook his head with suspicion ruling his face. "You mean to tell me that weddings don't give you a good feeling?" J.C. questioned his ex-boyfriend again. Nick squeezed J.C.'s hand a little. It was an honest reflex when Nick began to deal with a sore subject. He concentrated his solid blue eyes forward, not allowing J.C. to hold a stare with him. "Josh, the last wedding I went to, I got my heart broke. So it's bovious I have a little sore spot for weddings. I mean Hawaii was a nice place, but seeing Brian and Justin get married wasn't the happiest moment of my life." Nick finally explained with a low voice. He kept his feelings hushed and allowed his voice to follow the same manner.
J.C. could not backlash on Nick for speaking on the wedding of his friends. It was an honest reply, something that J.C. did not conceive of Nick. He allowed the distaste toward love inside of Nick to circulate through the air. He placed his other hand into his pocket and slouched some in his seat. "That's funny because it seems every wedding that I've been to, I always end up confessing my love for a guy and end up asking him to marry me because I can't stand going a day without him and it takes serious events in our relationship for me to finally realize that." J.C. spat out in a breath, releasing hints that he was unclear about. Nick nodded with a natural instinct. He leaned up some to watch the walking guests. He had not given much thought to J.C. speaking on weddings until he caught onto J.C.'s last few words. His heart quickly jumped into his throat when he thought over the words J.C. had spoken to him.
Nick's head did not have the opportunity to revolve in J.C.'s direction before he felt a cool object slip over his left ring finger. As he looked down, his heart thumped harder against his ribs. A gold ring had latched onto his finger with a fond signifigance to Nick. His blue eyes slowly lifted with a fear of anticipation slowing them. He could still feel J.C.'s soft hand holding his as his eyes finally reached J.C.'s lips. He watched the words as they were spoken, everything seemed to move in slow motion for him. It was as if time stopped in every direction except the vicinity Nick and J.C. sat in. "There is no easier way to say this... Nick, will you marry me?" J.C.'s lips said while Nick glared at them. He felt the skip, then he felt the racing inside of his heart. It was uncontrollable. He lifted his focal point to look into J.C.'s eyes. His mother often told him that the eyes would never lie to him. If he needed a sure answer, one that would guarantee his heart being spared another period of mourning, he only had to look to the eyes and find his answer.
It was there. The answer Nick searched for was in J.C.'s azure eyes. "I know we were apart and that we both said it was pretty much over, but that's not what we wanted. I don't want to end what we had. It was just... well, it was too perfect. It was just right. I loved being with you and everyday without was another day I regretted not calling you..." J.C. began to confess his motivations for proposal to Nick. He had to explain himself and allow Nick the opportunity to consider J.C.'s reasons for loving him and wanting to marry him. Nick's right hand lifted and his right index finger met with J.C.'s lips. it stopped his words from being jumbled and rushed out. J.C. held his lips firmly together to stare at Nick. He only awaited a reply from Nick.
J.C.'s answer came in a simple form of affection, a kiss from Nick. The kiss was answer enough for J.C. The way Nick's lips glided over his in a loving fashion helped J.C. to dispose of all of his questions. Though it was plain and destroyed J.C.'s chance to explain his heart, he no longer cared. Just to know that Nick accepted his proposal and wanted to further their relationship was enough to captivate J.C.'s heart and return him to the place that he loved dearly, Nick's heart. He let his hand hold Nick's the way they did before they separated, allowing the feelings to return from the intermission they left them at. It was J.C.'s way of showing Nick that their romance never died, only took a rest from the beauty of life.
Only one song, that both Nick and J.C. had heard earlier that day, could express the feelings being felt between Nick and J.C. The song was sung by a mutual friend of theirs and one that aspired to be Nick's younger brother's girlfriend. Mandy Moore sung in lyrics what J.C. and Nick could not express to each other in words. It was a song that expressed the depth of their love and feelings during their breakup. It was destiny, it was meant to be, and it was surreal for both of them. The way they felt while kissing kept them motivated to know they could move on from what they suffered to what they now wanted, which was marriage.
I try but I can't seem to get myself to think of
Anything but you
Your breath on my face
Your warm gentle kiss, I taste
The truth, I taste the truth
You're what I came here for
So I won't ask for more
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one who's in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than
To feel this way
I wanna be with you yeah
BJ watched as Brian bounced Angel up and down on his knee. Her eyes admired Angel's suit-like outfit, perfectly powdered white. She could feel the love being emitted from Brian's body towards Angel. She listened to the harmonizing sounds of laughter between father and son. She could sense the care shown in Brian's touch and love expressed in Angel's smile. She thought of Brian as an older brother because of his connection to her family. She never wished anything evil upon him and she supported Brian's marriage to Justin though it was a sore part of her brother's life. She admired Brian's strength despite what had been occuring in his life. The power Brian showed over his heartbreaking situation gave BJ an envious feeling. It was also inspiring to her.
BJ giggled softly while approaching them with soft steps. She skid to the step Brian sat on with Angel and found a seat next to them. Brian's head turned a little when he saw Nick's younger sister watching them. "Hey BJ." Brian chimed while continuing to play with his son. BJ gave them a small wave as she paid close attention to Angel's reaction to her. She could see Ange's eyes locked on her, but never staring, only glancing. BJ laughed daintily. She brought her knees up to her body and sighed. "He's a shy one, Brian." BJ remarked, looking directly at Angel. Brian gave BJ a glance and then his son. "Yeah, Angel's rather quiet around people he doesn't know." Brian agreed, pulling his son close to him. He slid Angel further up his leg so that part of Angel's body rested on his chest and stomach. He could feel Angel's tiny hands gripping his shirt for an intstinctive protection. Brian smiled down on Angel and permitted him to latch onto his arm. BJ cooed at the actions Angel took with his father. "He's so adorable though. He just loves his Dad." BJ awed. Brian's grin increased with pride. He ruffled with Angel's hair and then placed an arm around him for support. "Yeah, me and his Daddy love him so much." Brian responded with his wholesome country accent.
BJ relaxed some on the concrete steps that led to the church's entrance. She let a few strands of her blonde hair catch flight in the gusty wind. The sun reflected over windows of cars, leaving BJ to place a hand over her eyes for protection. "Brian, when did you know that you wanted to marry Justin?" BJ inquireed with an off-topic question. Brian looked up from Angel with surprise. He was not prepared for the question BJ persented. He twitched his nose. "Why? Are you thinking about gettin' hitched BJ?" Brian asked in a teasing voice that was slung by his country accent. BJ briskly rolled her eyes and blushed. She knew Brian was full of life and without a doubt, full of humor. "Come on now Brian, you know me. I can't even stay to a boyfriend for more than two weeks at a time. What makes you think I'd be able to keep a husband?" BJ responded with another question. Brian shot her an immature smile. He began to bounce Angel a little on his leg to entertain him. "Well if you find someone that you actually like and then grow to love them, you'll want to marry them. There might be reasons not to and then there's other insecurities you have, but if you enjoy being with that person more than you enjoy being with your friends and sometimes your family too, then that's the person you need in your life." Brian replied from pure experience. BJ listened with an attentive ear. She licked her glossy lips and then a grinned formed. "Is that what drove you to marry Justin?" BJ wondered. Brian looked back to her and soon a smile glossed his pink lips. He couldn't deny the smile that answered her inquiry. "Yeah... it's just something about Justin. He's got this personality, this spirit and a heart that I can't resist. I haven't been able to since that first day we hung out together. Even when I'm mad at Justin and just want to tell him off for the immature things he's done, I still want to be around him. That's... gosh, I guess that's what you call love." Brian stated with a humble tone.
BJ felt butterflies in her own stomach when hearing Brian speak about Justin. She sighed again with regret in her own heart. "That's too adorable. I can't see why Nick would be mad about you two because I don't think anyone would have made you that happy." BJ gushed out. Brian sucked in his bottom lip. "Nick's a great friend, but I don't really see him and me having anything. Justin makes me happy and he's a great Daddy too. I think Nick can see that now, though he still might be hurt because of it." Brian agreed with BJ. He was happy that BJ concured with him without seeking a reason. It only made their relationship closer and more kin-like.
Brian felt Angel hugging onto him in a sleepy fashion. He could recognize the sign without looking at his son. "Brian." a woman's voice froze Brian as he tried to adjust Angel in his arms. The sound sent trembles down his spine. It was a cold shiver that stiffened Brian's heart and turned his stomach. He did not wish to look up and view her, but he was not being given a chance when BJ tapped him. Brian knew BJ was signalling for him to look up, an action Brian disliked. "BJ, could you take BJ in to Justin? He's in the room with A.J." Brian requested, still not glancing up. BJ offered him an odd expression. She did not hesistate in holding her arms out to grab Angel, but she still silently questioned Brian's reasons. Brian cautiously passed Angel into BJ's arms. BJ carefully cradled the sleeping Angel into her arms. She stood with Brian's assistance and walked back toward the church.
Brian spun around on his heels to stare into the face of Leigh Ann Wallace. His bitterness towards her showed in his cold stare and displeasing experssion. Leigh Ann felt a rush of sorrow touch her body. She had not experienced that look from Brian in months and now, the haunting experssion, had return to give her what she hated most, a feeling of loneliness. "I don't know and I don't care why you're here, but I want you to leave." Brian stated without reservation flowing in his voice. He was stern in his words and did not allow Leigh Ann a prospect to give him a smile. Leigh Ann's heart dropped without cease. "Brian... your P.R. called me and informed me of what you had been told. Brian, it wasn't me. I did not call the radio station that night... I wasn't even here in Orlando. Brian, I would not do that. Despite what I felt towards Justin and how much I love you and want to be with you, I would not jeopardize your marriage nor your reputation like that." Leigh Ann pleaded with her ex-boyfriend. She was aware of what Brian had been told. She too knew that someone had falsified information and told the radio station that it was her calling them. Leigh Ann hated the fact that she was being framed for something that could destroy her ex-boyfriend. Though Leigh Ann rebelled against the marriage of Brian and Justin, she still knew she could not muster enough strength to truly end it and expose Brian to the world.
Brian shook his head toward Leigh Ann. He had lost all of his hope for her. Even the time they shared in Kentucky expressing their feelings and thoughts did not save their chance for friendship. Brian's trust in Leigh Ann had finally faded and the moonlight could not break the shadows that lingered over their lives. "No... no Leigh, I won't let you fool me again. You've truly shown me the light and now I know that you truly are a sick and twisted woman. I'm not going to let you screw me over and take my husband and my son from me. I'm going to fight this and you this time," Brian argued, showing no resistance to expressing his feelings and thoughts.
Leigh Ann felt her body shiver with anguish. The pale, ghost-like color filling Brian's eyes helped her to see the seriousness in Brian's words. He was not offering her a chance to redeem herself in his eyes. He would not listen to her words or trust her evidence. "Please, Brian." Leigh Ann pleaded in a trembling voice. Brian stared her up and down with lowered eyes. Leigh Ann watched Brian slide his hands into his pockets and crinkle his brow. It was a sign to her, one that she hated to see. She found it hard to swallow as Brian pulled back from her. Her heart throbbed and pounded against her chest. She could not control the tears that built in her pure blue eyes. She could only watch as Brian walked up the steps and continued into the church, never looking back at her and never giving her a chance to redeem what had happened.
A small applause followed Brian's exit. Leigh Ann sniffled quietly, hearing the sounds of the hands clasping together quickly. She caught a tear that rolled from her eye and wiped it away. Her body turned so that she could look upon the person that mocked her. Standing in all of her young glory was Christina Aguilera. With her dosile blonde hair, stringy against her shoulders and her powdery blue dress tightly clinging against her youthful figure, Christina smiled at Leigh Ann. Leigh Ann shot her a look of perplexity. Christina continued to clap for Leigh Ann as she advanced toward her. "Congratulationgs Leigh Ann, congratulations. I think you actually made me want to cry with that performance." Christina said, taunting Leigh Ann with pleasure. Leigh Ann sniffled again and pushed her soft hair back. Christina pranced around Leigh Ann with a glowing grin. "'Oh Brian, please.' I mean, that was a nice touch. And tears, oh girlfriend, you really did well with that." Christina insisted, still ridiculing Leigh Ann. Leigh Ann let her head droop some as Christina walked around her. She felt shame in letting others watch her beg for understanding.
"It's a shame Brian didn't hear you out, he might have find out that you were telling the truth and that you didn't call that radio station. Hell, he might have found out who really did front on him and Justin." Christina boasted with her charming elegance. Her words sent more needles to Leigh Ann's suffering heart. Leigh Ann's head lifted after contemplating Christina's words. She glanced over to Christina who leaned against the railing leading to the steps. "You called the radio station, didn't you? You're the one who started all of this." Leigh Ann did not hold in her acusations. Christina batted her eyes and rolled out another smile. "Moi? You mean little old me?" Christina gleamed, leaning off of the railing and strutting up the steps some. Leigh Ann threw her hands onto her hips with anger. "Isn't it a shame Leigh Ann? You were beat at your own game by someone you said could never do it. You said I was too much of a slut to help you breakup Brian and Justin." Christina giggled, casually walking back down the steps.
Christina flicked pieces of her hair back and leaned against the railing once more. She puckered her lips and gazed up to the sky. Another small snicker crossed her burgundy lips. "Brian and Justin were just too damn naive. They were... hmmm, too easy. So were you. You'd think the three of you could have figured out it was me fucking you over instead of blaming each other. It was... well it was perfect." Christina bragged with her glittery grin. Leigh Ann stared at her, letting Christina finish the rest of her boasting. "You just topped it off by breaking down right here for Brian. He made you feel like a tramp, a whore, and a piece of shit. It was such a glorious feeling to watch you, the self-proclaimed Queen of all bitches, get snubbed by the one man you have yet to have. I was able to tear Brian and Justin's marriage up, expose them to the world, and still crush your pride without being caught by anyone." Christina added, crssoing past Leigh Ann's path. She allowed Leigh Ann to see her glow, her lively spirit. Her happiness grew by the second.
Leigh Ann curled her upper lip. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat. "Yes, it's a shame Christina." Leigh Ann agreed in a mild tone. Christina's head snapped back in Leigh Ann's direction when finally hearing her speak. She purred toward Leigh Ann and then swiveled her hips. "It's a shame that Justin's standing right there." Leigh Ann pointed out. A strong smile soon began to form on her lips.
Christina's eyes lifted with disbelief. She stared at Leigh Ann with wonder and then turned her eyes around to another section. She felt her heart sink towards the acids of her stomach. Her mind spun with doubt until her eyes landed on Justin standing at the top of the ivory church steps. His arms were crossed and an expression of pure hate covered his face. Christina's breathing raced as she looked at the man she lusted for. She couldn't fight the look on Justin's face, the one that cried out for murder.
She stumbled a little while staring at him. "It would seem my husband owes you an apology Leigh Ann... you're not the one we should blame for what's been happening." Justin declared, moving his eyes to look upon Leigh Ann. Leigh Ann nodded in his direction, feeling close to Justin. She had, for once, pulled Justin to her side of an argument, one that she needed his support in. It was a relief for her. "Still you were right Leigh Ann, you shouldn't fool around with sluts.... they only make your reputation look bad. Especially the ones that will be on the front page of the Star tomorrow for fucking Eminem in her mother's house." Justin added with a controlling voice. He held the cards that helped to decide Christina's fate and her importance in the music world and he was not afraid to throw them onto the table.
Christina felt her breath shorten as Justin turned his back to her. "Justin... please, wait!" Christina shouted out to him while watching him walk into the church. He did not turn, he did not respond, and Justin did not allow Christina Aguilera to plead to him. He had decided her fate and it was a grim one.
When Leigh Ann saw Justin's figure disappear into the church, her smile turned into a ruthless grin. She strolled past Christina with a radiant smirk. She brushed her fingers over Christina's bleached hair. She licked her solid pink lips and sighed pleasently. "Tssk, tssk, tssk Christina. You made it just too easy for me." Leigh Ann chimed when walking passed Christina. Christina felt tears rushing over her eyelids. She turned her head to Leigh Ann before sniffling. "Did you actually think I'd let you beat me? Come on now, I am the Queen Bitch and I can't be de-throned that easily. The station informed me that someone called, but used my name. I set up this thing with Brian's P.R. so he'd believe it was all true. I mean how the hell was I going to win his trust back unless I made him feel like he did not give me enough trust?" Leigh Ann boasted, staring into Christina's tear-filled eyes. Christina's mouth dropped with astonishment. She found it hard to believe the words she was hearing. Leigh Ann winked at her, mocking her in every sense. "Doesn't it feel good? All of this time Christina you've been this toy I've played with. That's all you were, the puppet in the game I started. And you were so faithful too... you helped me win back Brian." Leigh Ann bragged, letting a giggle follow her words.
Christina batted her eyes, letting a few tears slip down her cheeks. She sniffled softly and let her eyes look down at the ground. Leigh Ann looked at her with no pity and no sympathy. "It was all... well it was all so fucking perfect, Christina. Why the hell do you think I'm an actress. I deserve a fucking Emmy for pretending to lose Brian and letting you think you beat me. In the end though, I got Brian and you, well you lost Justin and the chance to get some good dick. Oh well." Leigh Ann laughed, continuing to mock her. Leigh Ann rotated her body and headed towards the steps.
"Oh and one more thing Christina..." Leigh Ann chimed, glancing over her shoulder. Christina lifted her head to look at Leigh Ann, still permitting tears their reign over her cheeks. "That dress has slut written all over it." Leigh Ann smiled. She continued her walk up the steps with her mocking cackle. It left a bittersweet taste in Christina's mouth, bringing out the words to the song in her head. The words reflected Christina's position in the world she desired but could no longer obtain. She had finally been defeated by her own pride and she knew that she could now never beat Leigh Ann at the game Leigh Ann had initiated. It was helpless, just like Christina's tears as she walked away from the chuch humming the tune that told the story of Christina's life.
Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
Where all the things meet
Joey hated being dressed in a suit. He felt uncomfortable when having to dress formal, taking away from his naturally joyful personality. Wearing a suit for the wedding only furthered Joey's dislike for them. He didn't want to be forced to wear a tuxedo like Justin, Brian, Chris, Kevin, and Howie, but he still hated having to wear a suit.
He tapped heavily on the door that led to the women's dressing area for the wedding. He sought to find his girlfriend for an important question, one that he had yet to ask her. She didn't sleep as his house the previous night. Joey also did not like being far from Britney during the night and to know she was locked up in a hotel with her mother and other members of Amanda's wedding party only made him more distant towards the idea. Granted, Joey was aware it was a time for Britney to reflect and think while still being around her friends, but the idea still was not a promising one for him.
"Who is it?" a reply finally came through the door as a result of Joey's knocking. Joey sighed incorrigibly. He slid a hand over his reddish-black hair and cleared his throat loudly. "Hey it's Joey, can I speak to Britney?" Joey requested in his soft-spoken voice. He dropped his hands to his side and awaited a response. The door creaked open and Danay's head quickly poked out. She scanned the area for signs of others. Joey watched her with a confused experssion. He raised his brow as she pulled the door open a little further. She proposed a gentle smile to him and he returned the look. "Couldn't spend a whole two hours without her, huh?" Danay teased Joey as he tried to peer past her. Joey's cheeks began to slowly fill with blood, revealing an innocent blush. Danay giggled at his reaction to her joke. She glided her tongue over her delicate lips. "Is she in here?" Joey asked shortly after. Danay gave him a nod for a response. She turned her head and yelled out, "Britney... your man wants to see you!" Joey felt another blush take over his cheeks. He leaned away from the door as Danay scooted back. "Make sure A.J. and the guys don't try to sneak in here." Danay requested as she moved fully away from the door. She did not catch Joey's nod befoer she left.
Britney tediously strolled to the door, sporting her figure-fitting, lavender dress. Her honey blonde hair was pinned up tightly with her bangs edging to one side. Britney adjusted one of her spaghetti straps while walking, never looking too far up to the door to search for Joey. Around her neck bounced a thin, silver necklace with a small Superman pendant that Joey had given her. She liked the feel of the medallion on her, symbolizing their love for each other. She tilted her head some as she adjusted the position of the dress on her body. The sheer lavender top over the dark purple, satin fabric gave the illusion of a summery purple color. Her eyes batted as she finally reached the door. She could see Joey's pale expression signaling a serious question in his mind. She carefully grabbed the door and pulled it closed, stepping outside of the room as she moved.
Britney let the tennis bracelet around her wrist jiggle as she lowered her arms to her sides. She let her lips pout out a quiet expression while staring at Joey. Joey lifted his eyes some and stared back at her. It was a boring silence for them, but Britney remained as stubborn as Joey about being the first to utter a word. Joey cleared his throat again with concern covering his brown eyes. "I wanted to know how it went at the doctors?" Joey finally spoke. Britney expected the question, though she wanted it to be at a later time. She graabbed the medallion between her fingers and began to move it back and forth on the necklace. It was an indication of a troubled mind. Joey permitted Britney the time she needed to gather her words. "It went fine... just fine." Britney replied amicably. She hid her musings from Joey. Joey offered a feeble smile. He did not want to pressure Britney, though deep inside, he desired an answer to the question still not asked. Britney had no trouble seeing it in Joey's eyes. He wanted to know just as she had wanted to know when visiting the doctor. She hated to see him wait, but she also detested Joey's stubbornness.
Britney sighed toward Joey. She reached out her hand and grabbed Joey's. He remained stiff, except for the hand Britney grabbed. He grasped her hand and held it tightly as she lifted it and pulled it toward her. Britney pulled Joey's hand up and placed it on her stomach. Joey's eyes grew with anxiety. Britney lifted a smile from her lips. She watched as the color flushed from Joey's face. It amused her some, though she knew she'd have to soon speak. "I'm not pregnant Joey. It's okay, the doctor said I'm not having a baby." Britney said in a tender way to ease Joey's stressful expression. Soon the color began to fill Joey's cheeks again as he rested his hand on Britney's stomach. The words were enough to loosen his tense body. A glowing smile promptly held his face. Joey whispered a small prayer in his mind after the relief hit him fully. "But the doctor did said that I'm pretty much in my primse and that it might be a good time, if I wanted, to have a child within the next year and a half to two years." Britney furhtered her explaination. She was animate about adding the other words to her previous statement.
Joey gave her an unsure glance. He could not see what Britney was trying to get to with her words. "But you're not pregnant, right?" Joey needed to clarify her words. Britney giggled out a smirk. She nodded for him. The clarification caused Joey to pull Britney towards him for a small embrace. Britney welcomed the hug, seeking comfort in the arms of her lover. She did not have Joey with her earlier when she visited the doctor. She wanted it that way. She had to have her space to find out for herself if she was carrying a child and if she desired to truly get an abortion if she was pregnant.
"But Joey, if we are still together in a year or two, I want to have a baby... with you. I don't think that by then I'll want to wait anymore, I think I'll be ready." Britney spoke up in their hug. Joey allowed Britney to pull back some and look into his eyes. He gave her the look she wanted, the one she needed. His soft brown eyes opened up to her with words never crossed his pouty lips. "Of course we're going to be together Brit," Joey assured her, brushing his large hand over her face. Britney felt a smile grab her. She melted in Joey's arms as a lover would to her romantic counterpart. "And by then we'll probably be married and ready to have children... maybe three or four." Joey added without shame in his voice. His pride and relief helped to encourage him further with her. Britney wrinkled her brow and curled her lips. "Uhm, I'd look like such a goob after that many kids." Britney snickered out. Joey laughed with her, holding her tighter as they stood outside of the dressing room. All that was left was a kiss the two were meant to share to seal the promise they made to each other.
"Aaww, that is too cute." Nikki's voice pulled Joey and Britney's lips apart unexpectedly. Britney licked her lips lightly, trying not to smother her lipstick. She looked up to Joey's lips, seeing a slick sheen of their kiss remaining. She carefully began to rub it off with her thumb while catching Kevin and Nikki approaching from the corner of her eye. She felt a smile edged out from the corner of her lips as she cleaned Joey's lips. "Am I ready for my close up Ms. Demile?" Joey joked with Britney as she pulled her hand down. Britney instinctivly slapped Joey's shoulder as a laugh crossed her lips. Joey snickered while Britney pulled back from their embrace. "Well isn't this a cute picture." Nikki said sarcastically as she and Kevin came to a halt. Britney rotated her head so that she could look upon her friends. Her glare was memorable in the way she painted a picture of confusion towards Kevin and Nikki. Her solid brown eyes glanced over both of them while her lips stayed silent as the night. "I could say the same about you two." Britney finally remarked in her Southern twang. Kevin gave Nikki a quick glance and then his eyes returned to Britney. Nikki lowered her brow with suspicion. "Well you could say the same about us as friends." Kevin spoke up to clarify the looks he spotted on both Britney and Nikki's faces.
Britney's face soon lifted with wonder. Nikki licked out a smirk for Britney and Joey. "So you two came to a valid resolution to your problem then?" Britney questioned with a petite voice. Kevin and Nikki both replied with grand nods. Joey exhaled a false smile, disappointed that Kevin and Nikki did not further their love for each other. "For now we think it's best to figure out what we both want instead of what we want of each other and what we want for ourselves." Kevin added an explaination.
Britney leaned on Joey. She had pride in her friends for taking a mature road to reconciliation. "Sounds like a plan to me." Joey finally let out a small congratulations. Kevin grabbed Nikki's hand and gleamed at Britney and Joey. "We're working on it." Nikki tittered, returning the hold Kevin had on her hand. The words were enough to appease Britney and Joey. They fond their own joy in knowing that slowly both their relationship and Kevin and Nikki's was heading in the direction they knew would be best for their lives.
Amanda paced around the entrance to the congregational area. Her mind spun with words she had yet to say, thoughts she had yet to express, and emotions she had yet to get in touch with. It was her twentieth birthday and also her wedding day. She felt like a wreck, but that word was too simple for her mind. "Balderdash. That's a good word... balderdash." Amanda spoke aloud while tightly gripping her bouquet of flowers. Her father glanced at her with perplexity. "Manda, what's wrong?" he questioned her while watching her pacing to another side of the hall. Amanda looked up and eyed Howie as he escorted Danay into the church. She felt the strain building on her. "Dad, there's so much I want to tell Alex. Some things that I should have discussed with him before all of this happened." Amanda huffed out as a bead of sweat broke from her forehead. Her father looked on her serenely. He grabbed her hand and drew her attention away from the actions taking place in the congregational area. Her milky blue eyes stared at him. "Sweetie, there were so many things I wanted to tell your mother, explain to her before we got married. She said that she felt the same way while waiting to walk down the aisle. The impotrant thing is that we were able to express those thoughts to each other throughout the years we've been married." he said with his calm voice. The knowledge Amanda's father bestowed upon her was honest and she could see it in his vivid eyes. He was giving her a piece of advice that set her soul at ease. She felt her body loosening knowing that she could say things to A.J. that would make their relationship stronger, but as a married couple. She looked forward to those experiences with a faith that she had never been able to experience before. Now she knew that time was on her side, even though she hated to fall victim to the cliché.
Amanda gripped her father's hand with her heartwarming smile. The sounds of an organ began to fill the church as Nikki and Britney made their entrances, being recognized as the maid of honor and the matron of honor. "They're playing our song Manda." her father spoke softly into her ear. Amanda nodded with a unique smile. She loosened her grip on his hand and let her whole body fall into a state of serenity. "I'm ready Dad." she responded to her previous words in a smooth tone. A smile crossed his lips before both of their eyes fell to the front of their walkway. Their moment had come and they were prepared to meet their destiny side-by-side and with heads held high.
An assault of awes hit the church as Amanda was escorted down the aisle by her father. The stares of admiration and joy cascaded over the church as they watched Amanda walk in her satiny white gown up the aisle towards her groom. Her nervous feelings of the past had left her and she was now ready to take each step to meet A.J. at the alter.
A.J. flickered off a smile when seeing Amanda approach. He took his eyes off the standing congregation to admire his wife-to-be. Her beauty still had not faded in his eyes and her adoration still blossomed in his heart. He could hear the organ music dying out as Amanda found a place across from him. He ignored the guests as they took their seats again. His full attention was devoted to Amanda and his eyes would not stray for any reason.
"Who gives this young bride away?" the minister questioned with a glorifying grin. Amanda turned her eyes to her father, hoping to get a promising response. Her father's eyes told the story of losing a childhood toy while moving to a new city. Amanda felt the guilt beginning to grow inside of her stomach, but she did not falter. "I do." his mouth finally uttered the two words that signified the beginning of the wedding. Amanda could see a signficant smile cross her father's lips. Even though she was becoming a McLean, Amanda could feel the Latona still inside of her and her father's eyes.
"Dearly beloved, we are gather here today to bare witness to the marriage of Alexander James McLean and Amanda Marie Latona. There is always something perfect about love and romance, whether seen through the eyes of an adult or that of a child who can sense it from a mother or a father. Alexander and Amanda have come here today to confess their undying love for each other and to unify a relationship and a family in God's name." the minister began his opening words. He looked upon Amanda and A.J. and then the crowd. He could see that the tension in the church had died and everyone awaited to see the blissful moment when Amanda and A.J. would become a married couple.
"Now we will hear a song performed by Amanda's group Innosense. It was written by the girls and Brian Littrell in honor of Alexander and Amanda's love for each other. The piano will be played by Kevin Richardson and the guitar by Joshua Chasez." the minister announced as slowly the eyes of the church dawned on a corner of the church. Standing proudly were all five members of Innosense, while J.C. sat on a pedestal and Kevin stayed behind the ivory piano. The girls of Innosense all wore lavender and white to coorodinate with the four members who were apart of the wedding committee and Jenny, who remained alone from the wedding group. Veronica's satiny dress was perfectly coorodinated with Mandy's and Danay's, being that they were bride's mates. Their hair was decorated with butterfly ornaments respectfully while jewelry was limited. Nikki's shorter dress was altered from the other girls as she was the matron of honor. Her hair was tightly pinned up and her golden-green eyes glittered in the sunlit hotel. Jenny wore a dress of white to flow with the light color scheme. She felt a little out of place, but she never let the feeling control her every thought. It was still a part of her job as a 'replacement' member in the group.
Kevin's fingers began to tickle the keys of the piano causing J.C. to lift his guitar and begin to strum the notes to the song. They played with strict concentration and in tune with each other. They never let a finger strum the wrong chord to ruin the song at such a pinnacle moment in the wedding. Each girl from Innosense adjusted her separate microphone and looked at the awaiting couple. hey made sure their microphone stands were arranged in the right position so that they could feel free while singing. Nikki's hand glided onto her stand while feeling the burden of bringing forth a perfect performance. They first looked to their manager, Lynn Harliss, to make sure she was with them in spirit as they performed. Their eyes then shifted to the wedding couple. They could see Amanda and A.J.'s expressions of flattery while awaiting them to begin the song. It was a memorable moment in everyone's hearts.
[Danay]
Just like a childhood dream
I pictured me in your arms
The minute you held my hand
I felt safe from all harm
[Mandy]
Cause you took my breath away
And I'll never forget that beautiful day
From the first kiss I knew that it would be
A life for us in eternity
I'll never want to let you go
I'll always want your love
From the first time you touched my heart
And the last time we confessed our love
I knew it'd be true
That one day I would marry you
From the very first kiss
[Nikki]
It was in your eyes that night
That we danced under the white stars
I could read your every thought
And I knew that this was love
[Jenny]
Cause no one has ever made my heart fly
The way you have each and every night
From the first kiss I knew that it would be
A life for us in eternity
I'll never want to let you go
I'll always want your love
From the first time you touched my heart
And the last time we confessed our love
I knew it'd be true
That one day I would marry you
[Veronica]
You know I'm never insecure
Cause I know that it'll always be
Even though I might seem a little too in love
It's because you get me that way
[Nikki & Danay]
And I'll never forget the day
When I first heard you say
That you loved me
It was in the way you told me
From the first kiss I knew that it would be
A life for us in eternity
I'll never want to let you go
I'll always want your love
From the first time you touched my heart
And the last time we confessed our love
I knew it'd be true
That one day I would marry you
From the first kiss
From the very first kiss (The very, very)
From the first kiss (The very first kiss)
From the very first (The very first)
From the very first I knew...
The emotion brought out by the song composed by Innosense and Brian could be observed from every pillar of the church. Hands feared clapping because of the silence following the song and the prudeness of the wedding setting. It still brought on a teary-eyed feeling to the atmosphere. Amanda felt her own eyes welling up with joyful tears, but her pride prevented her from releasing any of them. She stayed humble at the altar while A.J. let one single tear slid down his pale face. He choked out a smile in attempts not to let others see his tear. He resumed his position in facing Amanda while Kevin returned to his position as a groomsman, J.C. scooted to the front section of the pews to sit next to Nick and his family, and the girls of Innosense, minus Jenny, found their positions again as members of Amanda's wedding party.
The minister cleared his throat as the others found their spots near the altar. He awaited for complete silence before beginning again with the ceremony. "Alexander and Amanda have written their own vows to share with each other. They will now recite them, uniting their lives together forever in matrimony." the minsiter began to speak aloud the words that others desired to hear. He eased back a little from his position behind the altar and allowed Amanda and A.J. to take their time in speaking the words they had written from their hearts.
A.J. kept his stare with Amanda. His brown eyes looked into her icy blue eyes and found the inspiration he searched for. It was indeed heartwarming for both of them to feel their love through glances. A.J. grabbed Amanda's hands and held them in his own. She could feel the small portion of sweat that showed A.J.'s nervousness. She blushed a little knowing that she and A.J. shared the same emotion simultaneously. She allowed herself to relax and give her fiancé his moment in the broad spotlight.
"This is the part where I'm supposed to say something beautiful, but I can't. Without you Amanda, the Lord knows my heart couldn't beat, my lungs couldn't breathe, my eyes would be blind, my ears would be deaf and my life would be but a flash. This love that you've given me, it's an understatement. I always think of it as something that keeps me going, but it's more. You're the person that's kept us together, through thick and thin. Your love and my love helped give us the one thing that we love the most, Amaiya. Despite problems and despite all of my faults, you love me like I was your child. To me, there's nothing better. So baby, I'm asking for you to help me give back to you a hundred fold what you've given to me by just being there every day that I wake up. Amanda Latona, will you take me, Alexander James McLean, to be your husband, and, forever your heart?" A.J. spoke in a semi-shaky voice. His raspy voice was still present, but a new, less commanding voice, began to take precedent in the way A.J. spoke. He loosened his small grip on Amanda's fingers after his words had faded. He spotted the sparkle in Amanda's eyes again. It pulled his integrity up and he allowed himself to remain calm. "I do." crossed Amanda's lips as she pressed out a genuine smile. The relief felt by A.J., after Amanda spoke her two words, showed in the proud expressions of the attending guests.
Amanda reported her own expression of contentment subsequent to her response. She swallowed slowly and let the audience look on them like dolls in a glass case. She closed her eyes for a second to gather her thoughts and her words. "Alex... sometimes you're stubborn, sometimes you're moody and sometimes... well sometimes you don't know the right words to say, but that's what makes me love you even more. You're stubborness prevented you from letting go of what we have despite the hard times and brick walls we've faced together. You're moodiness has helped you to be there for me when I least expect you to. It's enabled you to mature some by looking back at your faults and helping me with my own. The words you speak may sometimes be wrong, but they're right because it makes me think. It helps me with my patience with you and with Amaiya. You've taught me so much that I'm crazving for another opportunity to learn from you. It's the way you are that makes me love you. The side of you that I see and no one else that makes me want to spend forever with you. I ask that you give me a chance to love you, cherish you, be with you, hold you and learn from you everyday of my life, Amaiya's life, and your life until death do each of us part. Will you take me, Amanda Marie Latona, to be your wife?" Amanda requested with her deep and affectionate words. Her words flowed out poetically though Amanda felt every bone and muscle in her body shiver as she spoke. Her fear for the future was lifted, but she still felt confessing her heart in front of so many loved ones brought tension in itself. "Of course, I do." A.J. replied peacefully with his Cheshire-like grin. His tranquil expression put Amanda's heart at rest.
They both turned their eyes back to the minsiter who had slowly slipped back to his position behind the altar. He offered a pleasing smile for them, releasing a response that both Amanda and A.J. looked for. Their hands stayed locked while anticipating the minsiter's next words. "Now we will have the exchange of the rings and the lighting of the unity candle." the minsiter announced. He again permitted A.J. and Amanda to follow the course of events that was scheduled to happen. Amanda and A.J. stayed motionless for a moment, still revering in their vows.
It was priceless to the eyes of the wedding party as they watched contently when the couple turned to each other again. Justin and Nikki extended from the places they stood and strolled to where A.J. and Amanda stood. They stood near them holding out their hands with golden rings placed in their palms. A.J. and Amanda both took calculated steps to turn to their best man and matron of honor. Amanda grabbed the golden ring from Nikki's palm with a generous grin. Nikki returned it as Amanda lifted the ring. Amanda carefully carried the ring over to where A.J. was standing. She awaited A.J. to return to facing her.
"This is your moment A.J." Justin whispered as A.J. picked the ring from his palm. A.J. lifted his eyes as he lifted the ring. The smirk slipped over his lips as he stared at Justin. He admired Justin's equally large grin. The young man was wise to an extent, but A.J. knew that Justin was aware of the feeling because of his own experience of getting married. A.J. had bared witness to that apex moment in Justin and Brian's young lives together and now he was more than thrilled to have both by his side as he prepared to wed his longtime girlfriend. He grasped the ring tightly and slowly rotated to face his fiancée.
Amanda's body became rigid when seeing A.J. finally facing her again. She tried to remain still with her hand out stretched dantily to bring out the effect desired when A.J. placed the ring on her left ring finger. A.J. cautiously slipped the ring over her finger as the members of the congregation cooed. A.J. felt a dimpling smile wrinkle his lips when hearing the congregation awe at him and his bride. Amanda let a grin glide over her own lips while admiring the beautifully cut ring that symbolized A.J.'s bond with her. The light of a photographer snapping a quick shot of the moment did not dim Amanda's glittering eyes as they looked upon A.J. The importance of knowing A.J.'s expression while placing the ring on Amanda's finger left Amanda to block out outside distractions to focus her central concentration on A.J.
As A.J. finished slipping the ring on Amanda's finger and admiring her beauty, he held out his hand for Amanda to repeat his steps. Amanda, with her glorifying patience, took her time to slid the ring she had purchased for A.J. onto his finger. She could feel her friends' eyes watching her every move as one of her tender hands held A.J.'s left hand and the other gingerly skated the ring onto A.J.'s finger. A.J. kept his hand carefree for Amanda so that she could easily slip the ring on without seeing her nervous feelings. His edginess was being bottled up without his consent. He had to keep focus on the wedding and not how all of his friends truly gave him all the attention they could muster. It wasn't like being on stage and performing for his thousands of fans or hearing women scream out his name. This time, however, A.J. could only live through silence but still feel the stares of spectators.
Amanda finished slithering the golden ring onto A.J.'s finger with a glow around her lips. From the corner of her eye she could see Justin approaching with a long-stemmed match in hand. Amanda turned her head a little to get a full glimpse of Justin as he carried the match to A.J. Amanda was blind to the fact that Nikki followed Justin with another more important part of the wedding in hand. A.J. grabbed the match from Justin with a promising glance. Justin stepped back behind A.J. and signaled to Nikki for her to walk closer. Nikki followed dierctions smoothly with calculated steps. Amanda glanced again over her shoulder to see Nikki holding Amanda and A.J.'s daughter, Amaiya. Amanda's eyes lit up with her motherly luminescence. Nikki freed a hand and grabbed the bouquet from Amanda's hands. Amanda quickly let go of the arrangement of flowers to grasp her young daughter from Nikki's arms.
The exchange between Amanda and Nikki was brief. Amanda held Amaiya tightly. Her daughter was decorated in a flowery light yellow dress and a ribbon headband. She mirrored her mother's looks with a hint of her father's face in the nose and the lips. Her eyes were a soft brown and her hair was a silky black. Her small fingers latched onto her mother's wedding gown with uncertainty. The child was unaware of what was occuring between her mother and father, but she stayed calm while resting in Amanda's arms.
Amanda reached out her well manicured right hand to the match-stick A.J. held. She placed her fingertips on the end of it so that she could hold it with A.J. A.J. glared at Amanda and Amaiya with a constant love and affection in his glassy eyes. He gradually returned his focus on the match and the candle. He easily lowered the top of the match, while Amanda held the end, and lit the white candle on a display near the altar. The candle flickered into a small yellow flame on the string which lit a glowing circle near the wax of the ivory white candle. Amaiya cooed shyly when seeing the gorgeous flame dancing over the candle. It lit up in her eyes while her parents and the congregation observed her response. It only drew up a few chuckles from the congregation, but more stares than anything.
A.J. waved the stick around to blow out the small flame on the match-stick while Amanda carried Amaiya back from the dazzling candle. Amanda shifted her weight some so that Amaiya could rest on her hip while Amanda's hands supported her upper body. She watched A.J. mimick their steps so that he was standing directly next to Amanda and Amaiya. He reached down and grabbed Amanda's hand and held it in his own, a small sign of comfort.
The minister shot out another dismal smile for the audience and for A.J. and Amanda. "We stand here as witness in this church to this holy event in history's time. It is hard to see a couple stand this strong, through such bondage, to strive on and declare their love so boldly. I am thrilled to see a couple take this step in a world that survives on lust rather than love. If there be no objections in this church of God today, then I now pronounce you husband and wife." the minister made his closing statements brief for his own sake. He was deprived of words he sought to say, but he worked with what he was blessed with.
The congregation made a quick search for an objection. They prayed for silence in the church to allow the ceremony to continue. No one could think of a definite reason why the two should not marry. There had not been a justification brought up by any one in months. A.J. and Amanda's relationship stayed relatively private, preventing others from uttering any disapproval of a marriage between them. Not even the birth of Amaiya had brought up thoughts of betrayel or incentive to shatter the couple's future together. With the time taken to think of a erason, the congregation stayed silent.
"Uh, Alexander... you may kiss your bride." the minsiter spoke up in a hushed tone. A.J. did not have to hear the phrase twice before devoting all of his attention to Amanda. A small set of laughter escaped the wedding party as they saw the cheesecake grin stretching A.J.'s face. Amanda could feel Nikki carefully unlatching Amaiya from her. She did not hesitate in letting her daughter go free into Nikki's arms because she trusted Nikki with her child. Her main concern was finally uniting herself with A.J. in holy matrimony.
A howl arose from the crowd when Amanda and A.J. ultimately locked lips to seal their bond together. Cheers rang out across the church as they witnessed the final piece being added to the wedding. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. McLean." the minister declared loudly so that the congergation could hear him. The applause continued as he spoke, both being ignored by the kissing couple. "Well it's about time!" Kevin announced, stringing out a louder ovation and spots of giggling.
A.J. and Amanda broke from their embrace with laughter. A.J. felt his cheeks burn a new shade of red as he pulled away from his bride. He felt her run a hand over his platinum blonde head while he turned it some to stare out to the congregation. They all stood awaiting he and his new bride to stroll down the aisle once more. He held Amanda's hand tightly as he peered through the faces of the crowd. "Go for it." A.J. heard Justin encourage him. A.J. puckered up a smile. He saw further motivation in his mother's eyes when her's and his met. He felt assurance in the way she looked up on, urging him to make that step down the aisle as a couple.
"I'm a married man!" A.J. shouted out while grasping his wife's hand. The congergation broke out into a shout while Amanda and A.J. stepped forward. They could feel members of their wedding party congratulating them through pats on the back, but their mind's focus stayed on the fact that they were now a married couple. They took one final step forward toward the aisle before glancing briefly at each other. The wild fire that burned in both of their eyes mimicked that of the one that burned when they first initiated their relationship. It called for them to end the ceremony traditionally. With a flashy smile on both of their lips, Amanda and A.J. stepped off with their left foot making a made dash down the aisle.
Rice cascaded across the aisle like snow falling innocently in a light winter blizzard. Amanda and A.J. could feel the rice hit them lightly as they fleed down the walkway. Nothing could stop them now as they ran. The cheers from friends and family did not cause them to wait and pose for memorable pictures. They sought to end the wedding on a perfect note, one of tradition.
They continued down the aisle with A.J. beginning to take the lead. The rice walkwayed to shatter from each end of the church. A.J.'s grip stayed tight on Amanda's hand so that he did not lose her in any step he took. He worried about where his daughter would be when they arrived to the reception, but that did not stop him from running. He continued down the aisle and out of the church with no reservations. His mission was to ensure that he and his new bride made it safely to their limo so they could evacuate the church and head for the reception hall to continue the celebration. He had no trouble in accomplishing his task. He assisted his wife into their snow-white limousine with confidence keeping his body sturdy. He let his head quickly glance to the small crowd that was slowly building outside of the church. Again he looked on family and friends that shared a sentimental bond with him. He lifted his arm and allowed a quick wave to escape his nimble fingers. It was an honest farewell until he could see his friends once again at their designated rendezvous. He could feel the pant-leg of his trousers being tugged at, signaling something significant for him. A bubbly grin smacked his lips and his eyes turned downward to see the ring Amanda wore glittering in the mid-afternoon light. He raised his brow with fascination. "Come on in Alex." Amanda's seductive voice called him over the sounds of the enchanting populace. A.J.'s grin did not form in vain. He gave the assembly no further recognition and briskly slid into the limo and shut the door. The congregation watched as the limousine drove off slinked away from the side and pulled away with the newlywed couple inside and a sign tagged to the back that read: 'Just Got Hitched!'
"I'm a married man!" A.J. boasted again from the small crowd he stood in the middle of. He held up his glass of champagne to strike up an accord of praise. The reception had remained lively from its start with the Backstreet Band and a DJ providing a wide-range of music for dancers to enjoy and the oddly-chosen caterer kept others satisfied physically with an assortment of foods and snacks for the guests. A.J. had not paid attention to either detail as he glowed with pride knowing he was now a married man. After months of battles and weeks of uncertainty, he felt somewhat complete.
It was the feeling he desired in more ways than one, but he did not force upon himself or others. He only looked to find it for himself and he didn't fail in having it at this point in his youthful life.
"Yes, you have something to truly celebrate." Kevin agreed with his friend, raising up his own champagne glass with a sullen smirk. He stayed relatively happy for his friend while enjoying the open atmosphere of the reception. It was definetely an A.J. party. Nothing short of a nightclub mixed with a hint of the Russian Tea Room and the classic Roxy nights. It favored A.J.'s type of environment, while it still showed the class and versitility of his wife, Amanda. With a display of sparkling pink champagne to one side and a sculpture of a dove in ice, it shared the common ground of both worlds. Kevin stayed satiated by seeing the happy expressions on all of his friends faces. Standing in the semi-crowd with Howie, Nick, A.J., his cousin Harold III, and Aaron Carter, Kevin felt every generation had found something to make their lives' complacent. He felt a sense of home in the group. There was a renewal of faith in life and in the power of simple love that kept Kevin from brooding over petty problems he usually kept his mind occupied with.
A.J. therw an arm around Nick's broad shoulders and licked his lips. He puckered them up and then looked around at his set of friends. "And to top things off, my old friend Nickie here will soon be taking the same steps I did when he marries that good boy, J.C." A.J. added with charm and a rusty voice. Nick offered up a smile before taking a small sip from his glass of water. He was surprised how quickly he had forgotten about liquor when being with J.C. again. To him, it was as if he and J.C. had never parted. He had found his old self again and he remembered to keep it a strong influence. "I still can't believe you're going to get married." Kevin commented. His remark drew out a nod from Harold III who was in disbelief for his own reasons. Nick arched his left eyebrow and peered at Kevin. "Is that a bad thing?" Nick pondered with a tongue that slithered with distaste.
Kevin lifted his glass a little while feeling the cold stare from Nick. He cleared his throat softly. "Nah, it's not bad at all. J.C.'s a real good kid... it's just that, you're still a kid." Kevin replied. He shrugged. Nick's response came in a shaking of his head. He felt A.J.'s arm unwrap from around his shoulders.
A.J.'s hand grazed over Nick's blondish-brown hair while Nick sighed. "Justin was younger than me when he married your cousin. I'm grown enough to know that me and Josh can get married when we want and not have to get permission from any of you guys." Nick shot out a spiteful answer, though, he knew it was not called for. Kevin wrinkled his face with an obvious disappointment. Between Nick and Kevin, it was typical. They were bent on hurting the other's feelings and neither gave in until the words became too harsh to even utter aloud. "You're right. It's your life." Kevin said with an unexpected growth in his maturity. He blame his ability to let things go on Nikki. She had refused to marry him, but had taught him a lesson that would not soon be forgotten. He could see that his kinder temperament made it simpler for his friends to remain around him as the reception progress on full blast.
Justin sat at a table with Chris, Meelah, and Britney with a glittery grin. He eyed Brian as he strutted on the dancefloor with their son, Angel.
He had not lost in his child despite the small attempt by a few workers at the adoption agency. Faith had proven that higher powers did not allow the minute to conquer the just. This allowed Justin to gaze out onto the dancefloor and watch his husband casually dance with Angel and from time-to-time, Justin glanced to a corner of the floor where his close friends Lance and Bryce shared a few sweet kisses and danced slowly despite the mid-tempo music being played. "Aaawww, look at Irish." Britney cooed, interrupting Justin's focus. Justin's unmatched blue eyes ran across the floor to where Irish danced with her date, R&B singer Ray J. He chuckled to himself. Despite Irish's nonchalant flirting with him, Justin always knew that Irish's heart remained true to her on-again, off-again boyfriend. His eyes could catch a quick glimpse of Irish's sister, Misha, and her soon-to-be-husband dancing within the shadows of the crowd with their son. It was another pleasing sight for him. It painted a picture in which controversy held no meaning when friends, celebrity friends, got together to celebrate something worth remembering. He lifted his hands and put them onto the table and sat up in his seat before taking his eyes off of them.
Chris stretched from his seat, letting one of his arms drop from it's stiff position to around his fiancée's shoulder. Meelah snuggled a little closer to Chris when feeling his arm around her. She let her eyes follow a trail on Chris until her cuddly brown eyes met his. The amusement in Chris' eyes caused Meelah to smile. "Wow, it's amazing how you'll be a husband and a father soon enough." Britney remarked toward the couple. Meelah and Chris both lifted their eyes from each other to glance over to Britney. Chris managed a nod. Meelah's lips parted a smile that she did not try to sheild.
She let one of her hands rest on her stomach without anymore worry. "I never thought it'd happen... but I think Chris will make a great father." Justin said to encourage Meelah. Meelah felt Chris' hand flock up to her stomach again, pressing his hand on top of hers. She sighed breathlessly and looked up. "I think he will too." Meelah agreed, winking toward Justin.
Chris squeezed Meelah's body to his with a bubbly expression. "Yeah, I think he will too." Chris mocked them for humor. Britney puckered her lips when hearing Chris' sarcasm. Meelah only giggled while feeling Chris' fingers run up and down her arm and his hand massage hers over the area their child grew in.
J.C. stood near the main table for the wedding party with Nick. He held both of Nick's hands while leaning on the side of the table. Nick's body was pressed closely to his as their lips touched each other like children did their favorite toys. J.C. brushed his thick lips over Nick's in a friendly manner to commemorate their own accomplishment. "Mmmph... is your mom and dad okay with this? You know, uh, us getting married?" J.C. asked when quickly pulling away from their deep lip-lock. Nick pushed forward and smashed his lips to J.C.'s. He hated ended a kiss for any reason. He continued to brush his tongue over J.C.'s while kissing, his hands begging to break from J.C.'s so that he could fondle his lover. He eased back some, his tongue craving to taste J.C.'s again. He contemplated the question with a mock-serious expression. J.C. awaited a reply patiently, catching a portion of his breath. "You know what?" Nick chimed, glaring at J.C.'s fair blue eyes. "What?" J.C. played along with Nick, his lips bringing out a halfhearted smile. Nick leaned forward again and gave J.C. a quick peck to resound their affection. J.C. licked his lips again as Nick's face retracted some. "I don't care because I love you. They won't stop me this time from being with the man that makes my body feel this wonderful." Nick responded softly. J.C. grinned with relief. He sensed that Nick had learned to let go of being a slave to his parents every bid and every wish. It wasn't rebellious, it was growing up. "And do I make your heart feel wonderful?" J.C. questioned obnoxiously. Nick cautiously bit down on J.C.'s lower lip. He sucked on it concisely and then drew back. "Can you feel it beating Joshua? It beats for you." Nick responded in his most poetic tone. J.C. felt a rush flush over him, one that he seemed to only feel when being reassured by Nick. Denial wasn't apart of the equation for J.C. He was definitely head over heels.
"Excuse me, excuse me, can I have everyone's attention?" A.J. requested while tapping his champagne glass with a sterling silver fork. The music quickly jerked off of the speakers and gradually the entire reception area became quiet. Nothing was heard except the breathing of the individuals attending the soirée. A.J. took a full glimpse of the room to make sure he was given everyone's full attention. He felt all the eyes of the room shining on him, giving him the thoroughness he desired. "I want to make a quick toast." A.J. said before holding up his glass of champagne. His actions were mimicked by many of the guests. He cleared his throat roughly while calculating the words he needed to say. He looked down to his wife, her honest smile giving him added strength. He reached his hand out and she grasped it as expected. He took a breath and then turned his attention back to his family and friends. "I want to toast to all the great relationships here tonight. I can see so much love in this room, so much promise that lets me know all of my friends will one day, if not now, be as happy as I am right now. Whether the relationship is family, friendship, acquaintances, lovers, or husband or wife... I have faith that the relationships here tonight will be ones made for the history books. To have all of you here with me today and to see so many faces full of happiness, I know that this day is one that no one can forget easily. Because I have found the love I need, with my wife and with my daugher, and because I have seen so much great love inside of my friends and the people they have chosen to be with, I have a lot of faith that soon we'll all be to the levels in our lives where nothing else will make us happier then being with these people. So I toast to love, life, and the beauty of relationships." A.J. said in portions. He lifted his glass higher when a round of voices called out, "Cheers!"
An applause broke out from the back, slowly carrying upward like a tidal wave until reaching the front of the room. It was one of appreciation for A.J.'s strong and brave words. It was a thought that had not been expressed fully in the room and the appplause praised him. A.J. let the ovation ring through as he leaned down and kissed the top of his daughter's head and then gave his wife a touching kiss. His life was complete and he thanked God for all his blessings.
Justin Littrell was laying across his bed with his husband Brian lying on top of him. His tuxedo jacket was somewhere on the floor, mixed with his shirt and bowtie. Some of his clothes, shoes, and socks were fraternizing with practically all of Brian's clothing. The night had made its grand appearance across the city of Orlando. The reception never lost a minute of life before ending and Brian and Justin's duty as members of the wedding had long been through. They needed their own privacy to be with each other. It was the ambience of the wedding that brought out their true romantic emotions.
Justin felt comfortable with Brian lying on him, his soft skin rubbing over Justin's. Their bodies ground together in a quiet, yet erotic tone. Justin's legs continued to spread as his husband touched his body in an excited fashion. Justin laid only in his wifebeater and his pants with Brian sporting only his black Calvin Klein briefs. The sheets of the bed were scattered in several directions and the pillows laid at different ends of the bed, showing signs of desire and passionate kissing. Justin's large hands grazed over Brian's back and lowered themselves in a slow fashion. His mouth released soft cries of love as Brian sucked on his neck. Justin was aware that he would soon have a bright-red hickey on his neck, but he showed no fear in it happening. His son was asleep across the hall, but their door remained open to listen for him. He knew what he did not plan to do with Brian and sexual intercourse came toward the bottom of his list. His body craved to be touched like that again by Brian, but he had his own unswallowed fears.
While Brian's fingers convoluted through Justin's curly, reddish-brown hair, Justin's sprightly hands slid over Brian's covered ass. A giggle escaped Brian's lips, causing his mouth to lift from Justin's neck. Justin's eyes opened when hearing his husband laugh and his hands gradually drew back up to Brian's back. "I'm sorry... it's just that, we both know we can't have sex right now, but we're trying to so bad." Brian snickered. His words tugged a smile from Justin's red lips. He sighed, but soon, he felt Brian's warm body pressing harder on his. "If Lea was here to take care of Bastian, it'd be different." Justin assured Brian before trailing his tongue over Brian's defined cheek. Brian nodded. His fingers tugged at Justin's wifebeater. Justin felt his body slip back into its romantic mode and his hands gently moved back down to Brian's ass, gropping at the waistband with hopes of removing it.
One of Justin's agile hands grabbed the back of Brian's blondish-brown hair and pulled it in the direction of his own. Brian's dimples perked up before he followed Justin's silent request. He oyed with Justin's earlobe with a finger while his face moved in the direction of Justin's. Justin closed his eyes again and parted his lips for a kiss. Brian's hand grabbed Justin's chin and lifted it to control the upcoming event. Brian opened his own mouth and extended his smooth tongue while leaning for the kiss. Soon, as wanted by both of them, they were engaged in a fiery kiss. Their bodies began to grind harder, building up tracks of sweat on portions of their bodies. The bed rocked a little as they did so with Justin snatching his hands from Brian's ass and quickly grabbing the sheets that remained near his sides. His fingertips dug into the linen while his lower body thristed upward. The thrust caused a strong struggle between Justin and Brian's covered erections, both crying out for freedom. Pleasure was an understatement for the two. A hummed moan escape both of their lips while continuing to kiss in a way only accustom to them.
Justin's foot brushed over Brian's and then began to slide up and down the back of Brian's left calf. Brian's feet rested under one of the white pillows still sitting on the bed. He breathed heavily through the kiss. His hands started to pull and tug with more aggression on Justin's white wifebeater. Brian felt Justin softly nibble and then suck on his lower lip.
"Hmmm... yeah, ooh Justin..." Brian groaned through the sucking. It aroused him even greater to have Justin suck on his tongue and lips, his thick penis struggling to break free from his briefs. He did his best to ignore the tension being built as he edged forward to continue the kiss. His tongue brushed over Justin's in several instances, only requesting permission to take things further with Justin. He was being granted his wishes when feeling one of Justin's hands in his briefs. One of Justin's fingers was casually toying with Brian's hole, only petting it and prodding at it to draw out another moan from Brian's gentle lips.
Another soft cry was heard by ears. This time, however, the cry did not come from Justin or Brian's lips. Justin's ears perked up and his hand movements ceased. He listened harder and could hear another cry being released. He determined that the crying was coming from Angel's nursery and from Angel himself. 'Aaww, shit.' Justin grumbled in his mind while his eyes flashed open. He sighed in their kiss and his hands instinctively went between Brian and his body. Justin began to push Brian up with his brute strength. Brian grunted hard when feeling Justin pushing their bodies apart. "Mmph... what? What?" Brian asked briskly and roughly as his body begged to be with Justin's again. Justin sucked in his lower lip and signaled for Brian to listen.
Brian unlocked his body from Justin's. He placed hands on either side of Justin and lifted his upper body. His ears raised some so he could hear the sounds of Angel crying. His eyes closed with great disappointment. He was enjoying the satisfaction of making out with Justin after a period of being apart. He hated ending something so passionate with Justin, but, Brian refused to let his son suffer for his own physical pleasure. He was a loving father in that respect.
"I changed him last time." Justin spoke up a key phrase that automatically made him immune from having to get up from his position on the bed. Brian curled his upper lip and briskly rolled off of his husband. He grumbled inaudible words while shuffling to get off of the bed. "Okay, I got him." Brian's sweet country accent said as his feet met the ground. Justin cleared his throat quietly and eased up in the bed. He sat up so his back rested against the backboard. He pushed the sheets back further with his legs and feet and watched Brian gather himself. "Please don't let Angel see you with your dick hard." Justin requested softly while Brian pushed a few articles of clothing aside. Brian hesitantly looked downward. His eyes caught sight of the sizeable tent in his black briefs. His face blushed quickly and he shyed away from the bed. He nodded for Justin, but he couldn't offer a verbal agreeance. His emabrassment was too great. "You do this to me." he managed to whisper. His response caused Justin to snicker lightly. "I know I did babe... you did the same to me." Justin teased while pointing to his own erection through his pants.
Brian decided to let his body calm down naturally. Brian quickly brushed a hand over his head and searched around the room for a bottle. There was not one located within reaching distance for him and he despised making Angel wait in the crib alone. He scratched his shoulder and then kicked aside his socks. "I'll be back in a few babe." Brian finally spoke up, trotting over clothes to get to the door. He was in a personal rush for his son. Justin nodded casually. "I love you!" Justin shouted out to him as he left. He could hear a quick and similiar response cross his husband's lips before Brian was out of speaking distance.
Justin snuggled up to a pillow near his head and waited patinetly. His wait continued for minutes, it seemed. The exhaustion of the day had left Justin unable to think of anything but his drooping eyelids. He enjoyed the day he spent celebrating the wedding of his friends, but he could not fight the wearriness that the long day had brought on. His hands ran over the soft pillow and Justin's head pressed into it. 'Maybe I can just rest my eyes for a little bit.' Justin thought, trying to configure how much time he was given before Brian would return with Angel. His mind did not offer up much resistance when Justin decided to let his eyes droop shut. After all, Justin was young and still needed his proper amount of peaceful sleep.
Justin groaned and stretched. He yawned loudly and batted his eyes. Justin gazed around, his eyes half-shut. He closed his eyes again and snuggled into the pillow. Within seconds, Justin popped up from the bed again. "Where am I!?" Justin questioned aloud. He looked around the room that he had slept in, not recognizing any of it. He quickly released the pillow and stood. He couldn't remember much of what had happened to him before. He heard a door open and he spun around on his heels. He saw a male walking out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his Adonis waist and a towel in hand that he was using to dry his shaggily brown-blonde hair. Water dripped from his body like a waterfall, causing Justin to stare harder at him. The man massaged the towel through his hair and gazed up at Justin. "Whoa, I didn't think you'd be awake," he said, being the first to speak. "Uh.. uh.." Justin couldn't find the words to say. His stutter amused the man. The man looked down at himself and then realized Justin's awkwardness. "Oh, geez, I'm sorry Justin. I thought you'd be sleep and I could grab my clothes." he explained. Justin blushed and looked down from him.
Slowly Justin could make out who he was looking at. His eyes brightened up some as slowly mixed memories returned to his mind. He was staring at Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys, but Justin's heart told him Brian was his. Justin shook off the thought his heart tried to produce. He remembered being at Applebee's with Brian and sharing a friendly conversation. It was the beginning of the 'N Sync and Backstreet Boys Tour and Justin and Brian merely took the time to get to know each other again. Still Justin's heart beat words of other tunes. It cried out for another truth, another reality that Justin could see flashes of.
"Have a seat Justin. I'm gonna get changed." Brian insisted, grabbing his clothes from the dresser. Justin glanced back up to his face with a shaky expression. He could see that his facial expressions were beginning to bring up concern in Brian. He did not want that, but his heart rattled against his chest, begging him to face the truth. "Brian..." Justin called out as Brian began to walk back to the shower. Brian turned his head some, raising his brow. Brian watched Justin advance from the other side of the bed with a growing frown. Brian feared seeing tears escape Justin's soft blue eyes. He watched Justin stop in front of him with worry clouding his eyes.
Before Brian's mind could contemplate the reasons for Justin's depressing expressions, he felt something tug on him and then his towel dropped to the floor. He felt his body being wrapped in a slow breeze. Brian looked down at his semi-wet lower body, his velvety brown pubic hairs surrounding his limp penis. Brian looked up and unexpectedly, into Justin's silky-blue eyes. He inspected Justin for a second before Justin moved forward and pulled Brian's body to his. Brian was unsure of what was happening between the two, but for some reason, he did not fight it.
A kiss was initiated by Brian. He wanted it more than anything to hold Justin and kiss him. The lunch at Applebee's, the ride in the limousine, and bumping into Justin at the airport gave Brian a new craving for the younger man. He felt Justin's hand brushing over his cheek with affection. It was a sign for Brian and he took all the precautions mentally he needed.
They fell backward onto the bed with Brian's naked body on top of Justin's clothed body. There was no hesitation on Brian's part to kiss Justin the way his eyes commanded him too. Justin ran his fingers over dripping Brian's back with a tender touch. He could feel Brian adjusting their bodies so that they could be comfortable while kissing. Justin's mind shouted with disagreement, but Justin tuned it out. He didn't want his conscience to tell him that Brian was but a stranger, an acquaintance that he barely knew enough about to fondle i\and kiss in his hotel room. His heart was right, just as it had always been when it came to Brian. His heart did not let him or Brian stop their actions. Soon enough, Justin felt his body becoming one with his heart because he knew Brian was just what he needed in his seventeen year old life. Even though Brian and Justin were just getting to know each other again, Justin could feel it was Just Beginning for Brian and Justin.
THE END
Thank You's: First and formost, I want to thank God for giving me the strentgh and the ability to write for this long. It's a true blessing and I thank Him for giving it to me. I want to thank David for creating Nifty, giving a lot of us a place to get our feet in the door and to learn the tricks of the trade. David is truly a great man because he puts his heart into updating every day and making sure Nifty is well taken care of while still being kind and friendly to writers. He is a man I strive to be like one day. I have to thank all of the writers that keep Bifty alive and keep many Internet people satisfied. You've been gifted, so don't waste the talent. I've seen a lot of poor works, but I've seen greater talent and those are the authors that stay around for one thing, the beauty of writing.
Study your craft and do it well!!!
To ALL my readers: Much love! I could not have been there without ya. All the old, new and been-here-since-First-Nite-peeps! Every e-mail you have sent me has made my day. Even the ones that said I gave them all repeats, you kept me going strong. I appreciate it. Since I can't name you all, I won't name a few. I just want you to know that you have given me something to carry through the roughest of times and that is pride. Thank you so much. I don't want to break down and cry while writing this, so just know you have been one of my inspirations.
To the Awards peeps: I started it, so you have to finish it. Thanks for the nominations and the awards. The writers and readers really made me feel like somebody every time we've had an awards. Just because you don't win won, doesn't mean you don't deserve one!
If you still want to see me on the web, check out my Innosense page: http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Floor/5183/
About my haters statement, I know it's harsh but it's only meant for the people that tried to hate on me and make me downfall. I'm only stronger and more confident now thanks to them. But to all the GREAT fans that e-mail every story or at least e-mail me and check up on me and stuff, you are NEVER forgotten! I cherish each of you for loving me as if you truly knew me.
I know there aren't end notes, but I just want to say a BIG thanks to 'N Sync, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Innosense, 702, and their families for inspiring such great characters. I know some folks wanted more JC and Nick in this one or more Kevin or more whoever, but I hope you like what you've gotten. I worked my ass off for this one and though I came in one deadline, I could have turned in worse. So with all my regards...
Peace & All Smiles, JM