Just Beginning (Chapter 46) Written by JM
-- Disclaimer: The actions and storyline of this story has no relation to that of the actual story 'Bad Boy B-Rok'. The events that take place in this story are no way a continuation or even a part of that story. The author, Leprechaun, was kind enough to allow his character to make an appearance, however Brian Littrell and Matt Thompson are not romantically linked. Matt will not make any further guest appearances unless noted by the author of the series, 'Bad Boy B-Rok'. Thank you. IMPORTANT NOTICE: Please contact Leprechaun at: wornprog@yahoo.com if you would like a copy of his new story, 'Bad Boy B-Rok Reunion', when it is completed. Thank you again. --
*** 'Just when I thought I was to be alone forever...' This is the continuation to the series 'Brian & Justin'. This story involves a romance between celebrities, mainly that of Brian Littrell (of the Backstreet Boys) and Justin Timberlake (of 'N Sync). If you are offended by this kind of material, please do not read this series. If you have not read the first series, please do not read this one yet. I'd like you to know the story of Brian and Justin's saga. Otherwise, enjoy as we continue to drift into the lives of Brian & Justin and their friends. Any comments for me, please send to: lionclaw@bellsouth.net ***
*** Welcome to the second chapter of 'Brian & Justin', perfectly titled by David as 'Just Beginning'. I do hope you like this series and I hope to bring you as much joy and sorrow as the first series. As always, read stories like 'N Sync Love', 'Lost And Found' and 'The One' for good storyline. Special thank you to my inspiration and my "Blue", Leprechaun. Read 'Bad Boy B-Rok' for his work of art. Special thank you's to some of my closest friends also: Adam, Rick, Jason, River, Mano, Brian and Netboy. And very special thanks goes to all of my OLD & NEW READERS! I love you dearly for your support. The BIGGEST thank you goes to David at Nifty for his continuous support. As always, enjoy and hopefully, you won't be disappointed. So now, the story is 'Just Beginning...' ***
NOTE: READ THIS INSTALLMENT VERY SLOWLY!!!
The city was blanketed in night but it was not dark. The night life seemed to splurg upon the area as if it was giving birth to new life. The locals had made their way from hibernation through the day to wild beats during the night, taking each part of the city in as if it was a drug. Nothing stayed still and nothing seemed more apparent than the other. Life was a non-stop rollercoatser of excitement, sin, sex, drugs, alcohol, dancing, flirting and even love.
All was not lively within the streets of the city. Some life existed within small rooms and areas of the city, including a hotel room. A young girl bobbed around the room with a simple smile. She placed a Blockbuster video cassette box ontop of her T.V. and then walked towards her luggage. She pulled out a comfortable sweater, slipping it on slowly. She was naive to any life existing outside of her hotel or even her own room. She was content on ignoring the outside world while she concentrated on herself. She quickly tied up her hair with excitement, her world moving in perfect order.
The young woman fished around her clothing-decorated bed for the remote control to her television. 'Damn, can't I keep up with anything?' she questioned herself rashly. She lifted a halter top and tossed it to the floor, letting it rest in the pile with the other clothes. Her ruby brown eyes glinced around her surroundings for a second, trying to analyze her previous steps to locate the remote. She sighed heavily, still unsure of where she might find things.
The young woman could hear the sounds of her room phone ringing strongly. 'Oh fuck.' she groaned, looking towards the phone. She walked across the room, crossing over shopping bags, luggage and papers to grasp the phone. She grabbed the receiver and let her body fall into the room's chair, relaxing her back against the soft cushion. She tilted her head back and brought the receiver to her ear. "Can I help you?" she asked perkily. "Hey Brit, it's Niki. We're on our way to your room in just a second. Jenny and Veronica are arguing over which outfits to wear at tomorrow's shows and Danay is on her cell phone with Howie. Give us about ten minutes and we'll be down there." Nikki spoke into the phone, the background voices almost drownding her own. Britney held the phone tightly to the ear to try and hear the voice that was pleading with her. She twisted a finger in her falling strands of hair. "You girls better hurry up. I don't want to stay up too late on our third night of tour." Britney grumbled at Nikki
It was Britney Spears who sat quietly and contently in her hotel room. The bubbling seventeen year old was not satisfyed with being confided to her room on a night of tour but she saw no need to risking the perils of being seen in public on this night. She preferred to joke and laugh with one of her opening acts and closest friends, the girls of Innosense. Nothing else seemed to interest her that night.
"I promise Brit', we'll be there really soon." Nikki responded promptly. "And tell them to keep that drama in their room because I just don't have time for it." Britney insisted. "You got it girl. I'll tell Danay to hurry up with Howie and I'll make sure that Jenny and Veronica grow up before we get there." Nikki giggled into the phone. Britney rolled her eyes and smiled foolishly. "Sometimes I worry about you girls." Britney tried to joke, trying to keep a steady smile on her lips. "Did you get it?" Nikki asked anxiously. Britney let laughter fall from her mouth, her knowledge surpassing her curiosity. "Yes, I got this stupid movie. I don't know why ya'll wanted me to get it... you know I hate horror movies!" Britney fussed like a young girl. "Because this is the all time best scary movie!" Nikki stated with confidence. Britney rolled her eyes once more, reclining in the chair. "If you say so. Just get down here soon because I don't want to watch this stupid movie alone." Britney complained, losing her child-like grin. "It's not stupid!" Nikki protested, hanging up on her end of the phone. Britney laughed lightly, placing her phone back onto it's cradle.
Britney hears the phone ring again, causing her to smile deviously. She lifted the phone slowly and then brought it to her ear. "It's a stupid movie!!!" she shouted with a laughter. She did not hear a return of laughter. "What's a stupid movie?" replied a voice. Britney could distinctively decipher a male's tone in the response. "Oh I'm sorry... I thought you were some else. Uhm, can I help you?" Britney stumbled over her reponse. "Who is this?" the voice asked inquisitively. Britney knew if she revealed her idenity, she would have phone calls from fans on the hour. "Why? Can I ask who you're looking for?" Britney gave her thoughtful reply. "I'm not too sure." the voice answered. "Well then I think you have the wrong number if you don't know who I am." Britney commented, trying to end their conversation briskly. "Do I really?" the voice questioned. "Yeah, most likely. Usually you're supposed to know who you're calling when you dial the number. I have to go right now... bye bye." Britney said fleetly, hanging up her phone.
Britney shakes her head, giving the phone a last glance. "Now... where's that damn remote?" Britney pondered whimsically. Before she could stand to her feet, the phone rung once more. Britney groaned loudly, tearing the phone from it's position. "Uhm, hello?" she asked with a malignant tone. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I dial the wrong number?" the same male's voice questioned, his raspy voice drilling through Britney. "Uh yeah, you did." Britney replied snobbishly, standing from her seat and grabbing the phone to carry with her. "Well I want to say, I'm sorry." the voice said sincerely. "Okay, you've said it and now I have to go." Britney gushed, once again in a rush to end the phone conversation with her caller. "Wait! Don't hang up the phone." the voice requested kindly. Britney cursed under her breath and took a stance in the middle of the room. "What is it?" Britney asked contemptuously. "I just want to talk to you for a second, please..." the voice requested, deepening his tone. "Let me think... no, that's okay. I'm not into the phone sex thing and I hate those stupid ass surveys... and anything otherwise would be pretty boring," Britney said harshly, slamming the phone back onto it's place. 'Dumb fuck.' Britney thought as she looked at the phone. She dropped it onto her bed and walked for the television.
She heard the phone ring again, causing an inpromptu gasp to fall from her lips. She looked at the phone with distaste. She walked back to the bed and grabbed the receiver once more, feeling momentous animosity towards it. "Yes?" she tried to put on a false voice to throw her caller off. "Is there a reason why you don't want to talk to me?" her male caller devistated her. Britney took a seat onto the couch with distress. "Okay, who is this?" Britney asked with confusion stretching her voice. "I'll tell you when you tell me your name." the voice snickered shrewdly. "I really don't have time for that." Britney brooded, glancing around the room for something to distract her from her discourse.
"So what was the 'stupid' movie you were talking about earlier?" the voice examined her previous words. Britney thought over her options as she tried not to lose her mind. "I was talking about a scary movie." Britney replied with placid words. She released her hair from her bind, letting her treshes grace her shoulders. "So do you like scary movies?" the voice asked with a repetitive sense. Britney released a soft sigh, fishing through her clothes again for the remote. "I don't like scary movies. They are stupid and pointless. It's all about the girl getting killed and then the 'oh so brave' girl survives in the end while all of her family and friends get hacked off in the final and supposedly most dramatic scene of the movie." Britney stated with a passion. "Don't you like any of them?" the voice pleaded with her. Britney twirled the phone chord about, thinking over his question as she looked around. "Yeah, I guess some can scare you... the ones that are rather real." Britney responded softly, finally grasping the remote control from under her mound of garments. She flipped on her television and laid back, pressing the 'play' button on her remote to start the movie she had previously placed in the VCR.
"So tell me... what's your favorite scary movie?" the voice asked tauntingly. Britney's fingers released the remote with the question. Her eyes protruded in slight shock, her body springing to attention. "Who the fuck is this?" she asked with exasperation in her tone. "Don't worry. What is your favorite scary movie? Which one intrigued you the most?" the voice became more irritating to Britney's ears as she stood a second time. Her brow furrowed with a young and blistering rage. "My favorite is when the girl gets smart and hangs the phone up on the stupid shit that won't stop calling her. We'll call it my version of 'Scream'." Britney shouted into her phone, trying to shake her caller's control of the situation. She heard silence, smiling with her accomplishment.
"'Scream' was good... but isn't that the one where Drew Barrymore dies in the first sequence? Where the stalker is actually right at her door and she never knows?" the caller tried to stir her emotions once again. Britney's eyes drifted to the T.V., seeing the scene before her eyes as Drew Barrymore shook popcorn over the stove. Britney glanced around the room quickly, her eyes shifting from each corner in search of some sort of phantasm or appiration that would resemble the fears that were building within her subconscious. Still... there was nothing.
Britney took a deep breath and gave herself a minute to think. "I think the sequel was thought out a bit more except the phone call scene wasn't as scary." the voice continued to intimidate Britney. Britney closed her eyes, not letting her inner thoughts strike fear within her voice. "Oh yeah, that did suck. Don't you hate how Sarah just sucked as a scared girl? She didn't have as much integrity as Drew.. plus Drew's breats are real. Sarah was just too fake, she should stay to slaying vampires instead of running away from dumb ass copy cats who don't know how to murder people." Britney gave her personal views as she walked around the room, her eyes still watching every move within the room. "But what's your favorite scary movie? Huh Mr. Tough Guy?" Britney proceeded to put up a front of a strong spirit. She smiled optimistically. "Why don't you guess?" he suggested, determined to faze Britney's attention. Britney grasped a curling iron from her luggage, fearing the worst with her caller's sterile voice. "Let's see... oh I've got it! Barny's Great Adventure." Britney replied sarcasitcally, turning to face the television where Drew's face looked as puzzled as Britney's.
Britney threw the base of the phone back to the bed and took a seat on the edge. "Actally my favorite scary was 'Urband Legend'. The killer in that movie had a different way to kill the victim each time." Britney finally received a reply, causing her body to shudder. She sniffled softly, trying not to let her voice be heard. "Didn't you hear? That was just a copy cat of 'Scream'. You've got to be original now a days." Britney retorted. She coughed hoarsely, looking towards the movie for some sort of thought.
"So tell me... do you have a boyfriend?" the voice spoke up, beaking their silence. Britney felt a smile wrapping her lips once more. "No, I don't. I've had my eyes on this cute blonde though. Oh yeah... see he was an ex-boyfriend of mine and I think I want to get back with me." Britney replied with an assurance in her heart. 'Take that Joey.' she grinned in her mind. "I guess that me and you won't be going out then?" the voice returned an answer. "No Joey... we won't be going out again after this stupid little stunt you've pulled." Britney chimed, standing from the bed. "Who's Joey?" the voice questioned, giving off a confused reply. Britney stopped in her steps for a second. "Don't play anymore Joey. Your little joke is over." Britney laughed, smiling brightly. "I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend? Is Joey your brother?" the voice was further puzzled. Britney felt her heart jump a little, a small drop of sweat breaking from her forehead.
She scooted towards the bathroom door with her lip trembling infrequently. "Why don't you tell me your name? Or maybe I can ask Joey?" the voice seemed to be striking fear in her heart. Britney looked around with a sharper eye, the small hotel room still not changing shape. "Sure, go ahead and tell him Lance!" Britney blurted out, trying to free herself of the voice that rattled in her mind. "Who is Lance? Are these your boyfriends? I thought you said you didn't have any boyfriends?" the voice was perplexed yet not without a devious nature filling his voice.
Britney pressed her body tightly against the closed bathroom door, her face drifting into a pale state. "So what is your name?" his voice struck through the phone again. Britney's eyes seemed to swell up with pain. "Why.. why do you want to know my name so bad?" she asked, trying not to let him hear the terror within her voice. "Because the front desk wouldn't give me your real name when they gave me the key to your room." the man replied hastily. Britney gasped loudly, releasing the phone from her grip as tears trickled within her eyes. She heard the thump of the phone as it hit the ground, causing her body to tremor. She grabbed the phone expeditiously, pressing it to her ear. She silenced her whimpers of dismay and cleared her throat. "I don't have time to talk anymore. I'm not falling for your stupid ass games Joey. So leave me the fuck alone!" she shouted into the receiver, throwing the phone to the otherside of the room.
Britney stood from her position and tried to shake off her bewilderment. 'Stupid ass fuck. He won't upset me.' Britney decided in her mind, wrapping her arms around herself. She could feel the goosebumps rising on her arms. She blinked her eyes repeatedly, tears slipping out with each reopening of her eyes. She kicked around a few garbs of clothing, her ears picking up the intonation of a phone that was off the hook. She ignored the sounds of the mono tone operator and walked back over to her bed. She flipped off the television and laid back, trying to rid her mind of the sounds.
She could hear another ringing but it was no longer her room phone. She glanced over to her desk and could see her cell phone lighting up as it rang. "Shit... doesn't anyone sleep in this world?" Britney complained, rising from the bed. She stumbled over to the phone and picked it up. 'I swear... if this is Joey.' Britney's mind drifted as she answered the phone. She placed the phone to her ear and tried to give off a happy tone. "Hello?" she said. "Why did yo hang up on me?" the voice returned to Britney's ears. "Listen... Lance, Justin, J.C., Chris or even Joey, if you don't let me alone, I'm fucking calling the cops and I'll have your ass on the cover of all the tabloids so quickly that you'll make Monica Lewensky look like a brief sneeze in this world. Okay?" Britney shouted into her cellular phone, releasing her anger. She heard silence and for another minute, a smile graced her face.
She heard a small knock at her hotel door. Britney glanced up, surprised at the sound. "Why don't you answer the door." the voice advised, finally speaking up. "Sure Joey, I can do that." Britney gleamed, prancing over to the door with her head held high. She pulled open the door quickly. The hall in front of her was empty. Britney arched her eyebrow with confusion. She stepped out into the hall and glanced around, searching for a familiar face. She saw nothing. The hall was lit but it was empty, no life form showing it's presence for her. The silence frightened her even further.
Britney turned back around and walked back into her hotel room, closing the door behind her. She stared at the door for a period of time, still disoriented. "I thought you said you liked 'Scream'. If you were a smart bitch you would have known that Drew Barrymore went outside and the killer was really somewhere else. The door is the oldest trick in the book... it's an easy way for stupid little girls like you to get sliced from ribs to stomach... what kind of horror movie fan are you?" the voice hissed into the phone, making Britney shiver. Britney felt the whimpers reach her throat again, leaving a lump that prevented her from talking as her caller laughed deviously. "What... what do you want from me?" Britney questioned, gazing around the room as she spoke. "Why ask questions? This is a lil' game we're playing pretty Britney." the voice sneered. Britney's stomach turned with nausea. "How do you know my name?" Britney asked, sobbing quietly. She pushed her hair back and kept her small framed body close to the door. She knew she had to find a way of escape if things went beyond expectation.
"I'm going to call the police if you don't stop calling me. Prank calls are illegal and they'll have your ass hauled away." Britney warned her caller. Her head was throbbing with fear. Her eyes were being sealed with stolen tears. "How are the police going to get me when they can't find me?" the taunting voice seemed to know the right words to get to her. "Stop this! You've done enough already... just leave me the fuck alone!" Britney demanded with her tears. "I'm not scared yet... are you?" the voice questioned her.
After the words were heard by Britney's ear, a loud knock rocked against the door. Britney leaped from the door with fear. She scattered away from the door, tripping over a few of her clothing. Her body hit the floor with pain, her head crashing against a accumulation of attire. Her arm pulsed with pain as her body weight was pressed against it. Tears broke her eyes again as she stumbled to get up, a laughing and mocking voice following her on her cell phone. "Who's there?!" she asked loudly, trying to solicit an answer. "Why don't you open the door Britney? Are you scared I'm going to be outside with a long, hunting knife... ready to gut you?" the voice teased her briskly. Britney felt her heart racing and her body shivering. "You really didn't pay attention during 'Scream', Britney. It's a shame... you should have. See all you're doing is repeating what Drew did. Let's make it a little more interesting, shall we? Let's play hide-n-seek. I'm hiding... somewhere... come and find me." the voice mocked her in his raspy and repulsive tone. "I don't want to play anymore games!" Britney insisted, her crying being heard in her voice. "But if you win this one... I promise to make you the new Drew of the world." the voice revealed in a charming tone.
Britney closed her eyes, letting teardrops scratch her face. She sniffled, trying to regain her bravery. "Listen... I'm going to hang this phone up... call the police and then call my boyfriend. He'll have your ass so fucked up that you'll make Linda Tripp look appealing. Do you get me fucker? How bad will you be when I gut your ass?!" Britney boasted, her tears still running heavily. "Are you testing me? You never test the killer Britney... that's when he pops out of the bathroom and slices you right down the middle." his voice caused her to double over with fear. Her face was filled with tears and sweat and her body ached from abundant fear. "Come on Miss Teen Queen. Be a Neve Campbell for me. Make me eat my words and then shoot me in the head." he added in his bantering voice. "Suck my boyfriend's dick!" Britney barked, standing strong near the window of her room. "I could cut it off instead." a whisper was heard through the phone. Britney tried not to let her sobs get too loud as she stared at every angel of the room. "You should know the rules Britney. Only virgins live through the whole movie... isn't it a shame you didn't wait a little longer?" his blunt teasing rippled through Britney's ears. Britney blinked her eyes rapidly, her vision tearing apart each fragment of the room. Her silence enthralled the man she come to know as her stalker.
"Shall we continue this game like Drew had to? Shall I bring your boyfriend out now before I gut his ass?" her stalker persisted. Britney felt her hands trembling. "Why don't we continue... like Sarah did. Why don't you just show your ass and let's begin the chase." Britney suggested, still looking around the room for a sign of her stalker. "Where is the fun in that?" he asked. "The fun will be when I break out with my Buffy the Vampire Slayer moves and whup your ass!" Britney tried to laugh through her tears. "No... the fun will be when you realize that I'm not outside of your hotel door." the voice slyly commented. Britney stopped her deep breathing and let silence fill her room. "Maybe if you turn out the lights you'll see me?" he gave his own suggestion to the dilemma.
Britney regretted knocking her hotel phone off the hook. She had no resource to call for help. She was now the cricket in the snake's cage. She just awaited the stealth attack that would end her misery. There was no reason for Britney to look any further. She lost her will to continue the game, yet she did not lose her will to live.
"So tell me Britney... what are you going to be? Will you be my Drew or my Neve?" the voice slipped into her soul, awaiting for it to break. Britney sniffled hard and lifted her head. She wiped the dozens of tears from her pale face and kept her lip from tembling. "I'm going to be your fucking Joan Crawford! Where's the wire hangers?!" Britney shouted into the phone. "Wrong answer." the stalker responded harshly.
Britney threw the phone onto the floor with determination. The phone did not make it to the floor before Britney's hand grasped the main door. Britney ripped the door open wih fear, trying to escape the room before anything could happen to her. Her eyes were stained with tears, showing a crimson red flare as the door swung fully open. Her feet stopped to make sure no one stood in front of her.
As Britney stared in front of her, five women stood in front of her with smiles. She stopped herself, sniffling heavily. Her body was in turmoil, her face was resembling that of a sickened patient in a mental hospital, her eyes were squinted and her hair was filled with sweat. Her breath was heavy. She feared anything human and anything resembled a male with a ghostly mask at that moment.
"It's a stupid movie huh? I think you're scared now." Nikki smiled towards Britney, her arms crossed yet her disposition was still friendly. "I think we made you eat your words," Veronica added, winking at Britney. Britney's breath was still heavy as she looked at each of them with astonishment. She raised her hands to wipe away her tears as she looked at them. "What are you talking about?!?!" she shouted at them. Danay shook her head quickly and raised her hand. She placed a cellular phone to her ear and smiled at Britney. "Thanks Howie. Tell A.J. that he doesn't have to pretend anymore. It's all over." Danay chimed, revealing herself within her conversation. "Oh yes... she's scared beyond our expectations." Danay giggled, turning away from the crowd to persevere her discussion with Howie.
"You set me up!" Britney barked, her eyes staring directly at Nikki. The tears no longer flowed down the river she set upon her face. Nikki nodded affably, trying to withhold her laughter. "A.J. was a very predisposed accomplice too." Mandy added, brushing back her own blonde hair. Britney felt betrayed and angred but her body was too weak to rebel against her friends. She gave each of them a distasteful pout. Jenny began to rub Britney's shoulder for comfort and ease of her fears. Britney curled her lip and barked, "How could you guys do that to me?! That's not something you just play games with! You'd have to have some real sick humor to actually enjoy something as repulsive as that. I was.. I was..." "Scared? Shaking in your boots? Ready to 'Scream'?" Mandy questioned, arguing for Nikki's defense. "I thought she did scream." Veronica commented softly, releasing a snicker. "It was kind of mean ya'll." Jenny agreed with Britney without hesitation. Britney gave Jenny a glance before returning her attention to the other three that stood with smile coating their faces.
"We still love you... but you were just a little too uptight." Veronica commented as Jenny gave her silent condolence. "Veronica.. if I wasn't so tired right now... I'd grab a hunting knife and slice off your breasts and make you eat them." Britney spouted out. Her graphic language caused Veronica to take a more rear position within the group. Mandy giggled lightly, trying not to give Britney the full exposure to her pleasure in Britney's distress. Nikki rolled her eyes at Britney and then smiled contently. "Come on girl... we'll go inside and watch 'The Lion King' to make you feel better." Nikki laughed, escorting Britney and the others into Britney's hotel room.
Just Beginning (Chapter 47) Written by JM
The lone figure known as Brian Littrell sat staring at his ice-silver colored watch. It seemed weeks had past since his last vacation with constant tour rehearsals, television appearances and even filming a video for 'Larger Than Life' consumed his own life. What less could be expected? Brian was a part of the Backstreet Boys, an invaluable portion of the quintet. However, he was also an invaluable member of a partnership that was life lasting. He secretive and covert marriage was always left from public's view. Though questions did arise, Brian was bound by contract to hold all information concerning his marriage to himself. Just the loss of a fan's oppurtunity to dream of Brian during their sleep would be a perturbation within the Backstreet continuum. A fan's loss to admire Brian Littrell's baby blue eyes, to seek refuge in Kevin Richardson's deep voice, to fantasize with A.J. McLean's mystery, to take pleasure in Howie Dorough's innocence or to seek intimate and carnal thoughts of Nick Carter would jeopardize a monopoly that the Backstreet Boys seemed to own within the supposed teen market.
"Another month of touring! YEAH!" Brian could hear the sounds of the dancers preparing to step onto their own bus. Brian shook his head at them with a small laughter. Their enthusiasm and joy to live life through a hotel room and a tour bus was remarkable to him. He acconted their naiveness to their inexperience in the profession that he has spent six years living. Brian knew with time that each of the dancers would learn the hardships of living a life through the demands of the fans.
Brian felt a hand nudge him, trying to grasp his attention as Brian drifted through his world of thoughts and postulates. Brian glanced up, his airy sapphire eyes scanning a face. "Don't you think you should put your bags on the bus? We're leaving in about thirty minutes." a deep voice advised. Brian gave his cousin a feathery smile and a small nod. "I was just waiting for... him, Kev." Brian responded, standing slowly. "I'm sure he'll be out here soon. The sooner we can get moving, the quicker things will go." Kevin commented, dragging one of his many suitcases toward the bus. Brian sensed Kevin's distress. Brian deduced that Kevin's awkwardness was brought upon his recent enstrangement from his girlfriend, Nikki DeLoach.
Brian left their conversation brief as he shouldered his backpack. It was not in distaste that Brian kept their conversation at a small portion. He knew from personal experience that enmity from a loved one needed solitude to equal it's misery. His eyes kept their gradual stare with his surroudings as the Band bus was loaded. It's passeneger were considerably older than the Boys themselves yet menatally, they were almost the same equivilant.
Brian grasped one of his bags into his left hand. He caught two figures leaving the building, holding hands with smiles. They were two men. They were Nick Carter and Joshua Chasez. It was not abnormal for Brian to witness their signs of affection in 'safe' public places. For Nick, being nineteen and having a girlfriend is one affair that he would have to harbor from the press. Yet Nick was almost twenty with a boyfriend and he was not even a virgin. If the word ever spread, the white flames of the tabloids would consume Nick's life and career. Nick feared the incident, but he did not live in fear alone, as Joshua Chasez was a member of the group 'N Sync. He was twenty-three and living within the same patterned life as Nick. The two have shared many things, including a troublesome boyfriend, but now their maturity has strengthed and each would sacrifice for the other.
"Are you just going to stare or are you going to help?" Nick teased Brian with their approach. Brian broke his chain of thoughts, hearing his friend's rough voice call upon him. "Why help? You're a big boy now." Brian replied with his taunt. "Oh yeah, that wold be the reason." Nick nodded, shaking his head towards Brian. "Besides, you've got good ol' J.C. there to help you out." Brian commented as they passed by him. "Hey don't bring me into this conversation. I was trying to be the nice one." J.C. smiled, his cream-colored skin contrasting with his chocolate toned hair which boasting the unique saffron shaded highlights. J.C.'s voluptuous lips gleamed with his pink lips and small bits of stubble surrounding his chin. "As my boyfriend... you're required to take all the jokes that I take." Nick laughed, drapping his arm athletic around J.C.'s smaller shoulders. "Is that it? Damn." J.C. giggled, tilting his head slightly so that it rested on Nick's shoulder.
"Guys, let's get on the bus now!" Marcus, the security guard, shouted out from the front of the bus. The massive figure showed strong authority within his dark, coal flared eyes. Nick released J.C. from his simple embrace and began a quicker pace for the bus, making sure each of his luggage was going to be loaded. J.C. trailed behind, relenquishing any immediate plans to board the large bus. His translucent azure eyes watched his boyfriend's every move. Nick and Marcus loaded some of his baggage into the compartment beneath the bus and then Nick totted the rest onto the bus, followed by Marcus as he assisted Kevin onto the bus.
"Are you going to be staying on the tour with us for a little longer?" Brian finally broke the ice between himself and J.C. J.C. glanced back at Brian, his incise cheeks flushing with a scarlet shade. "No... uhm, I'll be going back to New York to tape a show of Total Request Live and then I have appointments still to keep with people in the studios. I think maybe I'll try and meet up with you guys in a week or two for a couple of days but our schedule is still too hectic just to stay on tour with you guys." J.C. replied with his distant voice. Brian listened carefully, his eyes not wandering far from their perspective of J.C. "Well I'm sure Nick will be happy if you're at least there for a portion of the tour." Brian commented lightly. J.C. smiled innocently, glancing off to Nick as he boarded the bus. "I hope he appreciates it." J.C. whispered, trying to make his voice unheard. Brian observed him without his usual judicial thoughts running their pattern. He decided that if he judged J.C. for his rash relationship with Nick, he would be seeking judgement in his own relationship with Justin. He saw the unfair intentions without each angle and released his feelings for question to a higher power. That power was understanding.
Brian's observant eyes traced away from J.C.'s slender body and face to hear the voices of another pair of his friends. His blue eyes spied a small entourage approaching the expectant bus. Within the talkative group were security personnel and his missing counterparts. Howie's concentration seemed to be locked upon a conversation he strifed with on his cellular phone. A.J. seemed to be daunted in his walk near Howie. His marble brown eyes were hidden behind the black shades he wore. His head hung a little as Howie slapped his arm briskly. "I'm sorry Joey... yes, I know Joey... okay... okay Joey, I'm sorry.." Howie kept a repetitive nature in his replies. His quick hand met with A.J.'s shoulder again, causing A.J. to jump to the side with fear. Howie's chestnut brown eyes were circled with hostility. He maneuvered his luggage on his shoulder, trying to adjust the strap as he continued to hear Joey's overbearing voice growl at him. A.J. could sense the unforgiveness within Howie's fast paced walk. He tilted the brim of his hat downward, hiding the shame in his flustered face.
Brian did not take a second to question the passing committee as they moved in an unstoppable cadence. The breeze he caught broke his concentration as he heard another slap emmited from Howie's hand as it crashed with A.J.'s shoulder. He flinched slightly, surprised by the sound. He found no laughter in the articulate way in which his friends handle their own personal matters. He kept his vision away from them as a childish argument broke out between Howie and A.J. Brian was tempted to chastise each for their infantile demeanor, but he chose against it. He knew he had no time to emulate a father to the two bickering adults.
He placed down one of his suitcases when he saw the next small group approaching. Within this group promenading down the walkway was the Backstreet Boys' P.R. manager, a few technicians, John Dorough, the last of security and Justin Littrell. Justin seemed to be the lagging behind the group, silent with his own thoughts and notions. Brian let the others pass by him with no verbal communication. He did not search for a reason to spark meaningless conversation with anyone outside of Justin at this minute. They shared the same last name for a reason, their marriage. The connection that made them family. Just the eight letter name was more than just a given or passed down word for legal documentation. It was the bond and connection that represented to family and friends that love could surivive the storms of jealousy, the flames of heartache, the rivers of deception and the shadows of the preceding events of romance. It was also the word that Brian and Justin looked forward to have their children carry on throughout generations.
As Justin approached, the aroma of the air turned from it's naturesque fragrance to a new one. Not only was the scent of loneliness fading but a new but not too unfamiliar smell arose to Brian. He peered his eyes at Justin with unsurity. He sniffed outward as Justin reached him with a small smile. "Something wrong?" Justin asked softly, trying to stare into Brian's blossoming blue eyes. Brian leaned forward slightly to take a further breath of the air. The stale smell was potent and recognizable by definition to Brian. Justin began to arch forward to move closer to his husband when Brian's stiff hand pressed firmly against his chest, preventing his approach from taking flight. "What?" Justin fussed. "Don't play stupid with me." Brian hissed toward him, still pressing his hand forward to hold his husband back. "What are you talking about?" Justin griped. He became frusturated with attempting to read Brian's mind. Brian presented Justin with a scowl that caused Justin to pull away. "You know I have a strict policy on certain things Justin. That one thing is smoking. I don't tolerate it whatsoever. Why do you think I never got together with Matt? I can't date smokers. And for you to all of the sudden now have the habit of smoking really angers me because it's not something you need. You can live without that petty, disgusting and vile habit." Brian's chastising of Justin was not hidden, nor silent. Justin stood staring at him with a straight face and no regret. He could see the spectators of Brian's humilation of Justin, but he gave them no attention.
"Are you going to explain yourself?" Brian was almost in demand of a response from Justin. Justin wrinkled his brow at him, giving him no response. He adjusted his materials and carefully walked passed Brian, leaving him without a response or ackowledgement of the crimes Brian penned against him. Justin kept his eyes hidden under his baby blue fisherman hat that was ribbed with navy blue in the middle. He pulled up the seelves of his blue, Old Navy sweater and let his hands fall into the pockets of his Dungarees. A frown crossed his lips as he kept his steadfast walk to the bus.
"Hey Brian! What's your problem?" A.J. yelled out, walking off the bus and heading toward Brian. A.J. stopped in his walk to see if Justin would cease his walk. Justin did not. A.J. sighed heavily and began his own walk again. He increased the speed of his feet when he got closer to Brian. "What are you doing? Why are you yelling at Justin?" A.J. cross examined Brian after Justin's own silent questioning. "I was trying to find out why Justin was smoking." Brian replied airily. A.J. tried not to laugh directly at Brian. That want soon faded when he realized Brian's actions. "Are you fucking crazy? Why would Justin do that?! Did you bother to ask him before you accused him of his crime?" A.J. grumbled towards Brian. Brian shook his head lazily. "Justin wasn't smoking. Did you kiss him? Could you smell nicotine on his breath? Just because it was on his clothes doesn't mean it was him." A.J. added onto his previous accounts. Brian's nose tingled once more as the odor returned. "It was you?" Brian asked briskly. A.J. curled his lip with guilt. "Justin was out back talking with me while I smoked a Marlboro. That's why he smelled like smoke. I was taking one last drag before we left for tour." A.J. explained to Brian. Brian's blue eyes cracked with guiltiness. "So you just made a total ass of yourself and embarassed Justin for nothing." A.J. added to Brian's sense of fault. A.J. shook his head rapidly at Brian. He knew Brian felt little inside, but he felt no empathy for him. His was still irritated by the way Brian conducted himself toward Justin.
When he saw the color slowly fading from Brian's face, the realization that A.J. too held liability for Brian's actions. He placed one of his ring-covered hands on Brian's shoulder to ease his guilt. "I shouldn't have been smoking dude. I know we have a rule against it and I have my own personal morals towards it. I've just been real stressed out with the schedule we've had to keep for the past two months. Amanda doesn't even know... I don't dare go near her with a cigarette because of her health and the baby's health. I should have at least took into consideration my lungs, at least for the tour, and Justin's lungs too." A.J. said. He looked over to the bus where Justin loaded part of his luggage into the bottom compartment. Justin scuffed his blue and white Nike's across the ground before walking for the entrance to the bus. "Why don't you go and apologize... and I'll see what I can work out." A.J. advised, aware of Brian's accountable feelings. Brian lifted another suitcase while A.J. grabbed the rest of his luggage. "Thanks Alex." Brian whispered, taking the lead in their walk. 'Alex?' A.J. thought as he followed Brian's path. He comprehended that when Brian, or any of the Backstreet Boys, called him by his first name, something was wrong.
Brian and A.J. entered the bus quietly, hearing lively talking and things being moved around. Brian took a quick look at the font of the bus where Marc sat near the front, not satisfyed that he had to ride the Backstreet Boys' bus. Brian looked back as he saw J.C. approaching the front and Nick following briskly. He ignored the two as they began to raid the refrigerator. His shoulder brushed against Nick's as he struggled to get to the bunks. Nick peered over to Brian and saw the trobled expression he carried. "You okay Brian?" Nick asked while J.C. passed him a bottled water.
Brian did not respond to Nick's words. His steady walk led him to the area where the bunks were situated. Brian surveyed the area with careful eyes. His eyes caught a glimpse of a pair of blue and white Nike's as they hung out of one of the bunks. He sighed softly. His feet carried him towards the bottom bunk that seemed to hold Justin. Brian grasped one side of the curtains with his soft hand. He slowly and delicately pulled back the curtain, peering in to see Justin laying in the bunk, listening to his CD player. Justin's eyes were closed and his mind was pulled away from the outside world.
Brian hesitantly took a seat inside of the bunk, causing Justin to be aware of another's presence. Justin's eyes fluttered open and he scanned the bunk. He locked eyes with Brian and he began to nibble his lower lip. "I'll smoke outside if that's what you prefer." Justin murmured, rolling his eyes with serious irritation. Brian saw the sarcasm coming. "No... that's not what I'm here for Just." Brian whispered, making Justin remove his headphones just to hear Brian's soft-spoken voice.
Justin sighed rigidly and sat up in the bunk. He pressed 'stop' on his CD player and looked at Brian with spite. "What were you listening to?" Brian asked, trying to draw the anger from Justin's eyes. "I was listening to 'Bye, Bye, Bye'. Somehow it just fits some situations as of late." Justin replied with a bitter tongue. Brian pouted his lips with disappointment. "I'm sorry Justin. I jumped to conclusions and didn't give you a chance to explain anything." Brian said with his most sincere, apologetic tone. Justin pulled his full body back into the bunk, wrapping his arms around his pulled up legs. "Your apology is accepted... now could you leave me alone." Justin insisted, turning his face towards the wall that separated them from the next bunk. "Justin, I'm truly sorry. I know I was wrong... and I know I embarassed you and myself. I shouldn't have accused yo, the thought never should have crossed my mind." Brian pleaded with Justin. Justin kept his eyes cold and forward, not daring to watch Brian suffer in regret. "I told you that you were forgiven for that Brian... just let it go." Justin requested, his eyes still hidden. Brian slid his hand to Justin's thigh, determination guiding him and grief fueling his hand. "Talk to me Just... I need to know what I've done wrong." Brian begged, seeing that Justin was not dwelling on the subject of accusations. Justin remained silent. "Please Justin..." Brian whispered his request.
Justin took the mature road of controlling his temper. He left his head return to admiring his husband. "Don't ever compare me to Leigh Ann Wallace, Samantha Stonebraker, Nick Carter or Matt Thompson. I never want to be compared to any of your ex's." Justin hissed under his breath. Brian was hit with a strong realization when Justin was finished. He took step backwards in his head to think of the words he had spoken to Justin earlier. 'Why do you think I never got together with Matt? I can't date smokers.' was recited in Brian's mind. Justin watched as words began to form on Brian's lips. He pressed his finger against Brian's lips and muffled him. "No... don't say it. You basically said that if Matt wasn't a smoker, you would have been with him. You would have been his boyfriend and there would be nothing to 'Brian and Justin'. We would have been just two passing birds in the night." Justin chastisted him. Justin dropped his hand and let his head fall with it. "I would have been alone... without you." Justin added with regret.
Brian exhaled softly. He moved his body closer to Justin's. Justin still did not break his cold, stone exterior. He moved his mouth up to Justin's ear with care. "I know saying I'm sorry won't help now. I know that it's too late. I just want you to know.. that no matter who I've been with or who I could have had, that doesn't mean that in the end I wouldn't be with you. You're my soul mate babe. I could have been with all of them for years and nothing would have stopped fate from bringing me and you together. They are all mistakes in my eyes because none of them can compare to what you are to me. I'm sorry... I don't want you to forgive me, I want you to know I love you and only you." Brian whispered, his words shakey and heartfelt. When the last word crossed Brian's lips, he leaned forward and placed a loving kiss on Justin's earlobe. His hand rubbed Justin's thigh for further comfort. Justin lingered in reticence. "Don't do it again." Justin pleaded quietly. Brian pulled his arms around Justin. "I promise." Brian responded. He kissed Justin's earlobe again. Justin snuggled his head to Brian's shoulder, growing at ease. Brian reached his hand out and pulled the curtains closed again, pulling his body and Justin's inside of the bunk.
It was nightfall when all of the buses and trucks arrived in Raleigh, North Carolinda. The trucks made their way to the venue as the members of the Backstreet Boys, their family members, the Backstreet Band, the Backstreet dancers, Fatima Robinson, security and personnel went to the luxurious hotel. Everyone seemed to take each and every oppurtunity to get inside of the hotel and get situated, despite the medium sized crowd that formed outside of the hotel. With the crowd building with time, security had to try it's best to hide J.C. and Justin from the screaming spectators. The task was not easy yet it was accomplishable. The discriminatory treatment J.C. and Justin suffered through as they were brought in through the back entrance of the hotel was trifling for them to be apart of.
A.J. stood in the hallway of the Backstreet Boys' floor, his eyes almost bloodshot and his mind within a daze. His head was throbbing as he listened to his girlfriend update him on their child's situation. "So the doctor said that the baby is developing well?" A.J. asked softly, drownding out all of the other background sounds in the hall. A.J. nodded his head, holding up the cellular phone while resting his body against the wall. The conversation seemed to draw out in less pain than satisfaction for A.J. "I know that Panda and I wish I could be there for you when you're pregnant... I'll be home next month... I know that Amanda and I'm working plans on so you and mom can get on tour in like two weeks." A.J. said in his mono, raspy voice.
"Well I can't change that right now! I'll try and make sure things are a bit easier for you two next time... but that's the life you have to deal with for right now." A.J. could hear Nick's hoarse voice barking in the hall. A.J. closed his eyes tightly as he restrained himself for taking his anger out upon all of his friends. "Yeah babe... I hear ya. You should get some rest. I don't want you and the baby stressed out. Uh huh... I'll be sure to... I know Panda, I know... I'm sorry... give Peaches a call and see if she can get some time off to see you... fuck Kevin, you're more important... yes babe.. okay, I can do that... I love you too Amanda. Bye hon'." A.J.'s words were miles apart as he listened to his girlfriend complain and listen to her whimpers and tears caress through the phone. He gradually clicked off his cell phone and let the hand holding it drop to his side. He was fearful to let a single tear fall from his somber, cinnamon shaded eyes.
His frail shoulder felt a smooth hand grasp it out of little urgency. "Yes?" A.J. responded without turning any portion of his body. "Do you want to get some air buddy? You seem kind of tired and worn." a smooth, almost Spanish voice trickled into his ears. A.J. shook his head slowly, taking in a deep breath. "Alex, don't do this to yourself. We've barely even started the tour and I know it's already tearing you and 'Manda up." Howie remarked, trying to coax his friend into releasing his strength. A.J. shrugged off Howie's hand and turned slightly. He sniffled lowly and tilted his head back. He felt the small tears bilding in his eyelids, but his stubborn personality prevented release. "Amanda and I are very capable of surving this month. We survived Europe and so many fucking tours before it. I don't think this will be much of a hassle." A.J. stated with a minor hint of hostility rising in his voice. Howie could see the graving lie in A.J.'s straining eyes. "You're going to have to let it out sooner or later Alex. Holding something like this in will only tear and stress you out even more." Howie warned him in a caring way. He ran his hand over A.J.'s stiff shoulder, trying to help comfort him. "Dial my room if you need an ear Bone." Howie left his final friendly gesture in A.J.'s palms, walking away with stealth feet. 'Thanks D.' A.J. could find the strength to say the words verbally, but he knew mentally it was enough for now.
The rolling night did not cast it's disturbance on the hotel. Though some of the patrons seemed to find a place to restore their enegery, a small amount of fans kept their determination outside of the hotel, seeking conversation with the Boys. However their dreams were far from coming true as most of the hotel found a chance to rest and relax. The staff for the Backstreet tour forgot their required work to catch a few hours of sleep, feeling their exhaustion overwhelming them.
A less silent area of the hotel was the after hours bar. The sounds of a melodic piano chimed through the large, upscale room. Sitting at the grand piano was Tommy, playing the familar tune he knew as 'Bennie & the Jets'. Scattered across the dining area were members of the staff and production team.
They all were caught in their own troubles, just as Nick Carter was. He stared down into a small glass of water, contemplating giving into his wearry nature. Sitting on the bar stool in the pale lights of the room did not add to or alter his mood in any form. He pushed back his lengthy dirty blonde hair, preventing it from falling into his kosher blue eyes. His nose twitched with an urgency for release. He searched for relief in the glass of water, rather than the life of alcohol that he left to keep two special things to him. One was his life. The other belonged to the hand that seemed to stir him from his twilight daze.
He turned his cocky head toward the direction of the hand that rested on his own. He saw a smile glimmer down on his somewhat dreary moment. "Why are you still up?" J.C. asked, taking a seat on the stool next to Nick. Nick let his heavy eyes look at J.C. with appreciation. "Making sure you're not still mad at me." Nick whispered. J.C. interpeted Nick's words from previous knowledge. "No, its not your fault me and Justin don't get the best treatment. You guys have a job to do and we're here because we're allowed to be, not because we're required. So we have some adjusting to do." J.C. assured his feelings. He pet Nick's clammy hand with fondness. "Tell me you weren't thinking too hard about this Nickie." J.C. requested, trying to get Nick to stare into his eyes for more than a minute. Nick turned over his hand so that their palms would touch. "I might have been." Nick played coy with his boyfriend. J.C. shook his head without a naive thought running through his brain.
"So where's Justin and Brian any way?" Nick questioned, scooting his stool closer to J.C.'s. J.C. smiled pleseantly. "When I walked by their room, the door was sort of opened and I peeked in." J.C. began, but a smile soon curled upon Nick's lips. He began to ruffle J.C.'s hair with his fingers. "Now that's cute... my boy, Josh, the voyeur. Were they in a cute position?" Nick cooed, trying to embarass J.C. J.C. gave him an awkward glance and lightly pushed Nick's hand away. He was sickened by the thought of having to see his best friend in any sort of sexual position. He rolled his eyes without thinking and sighed. "They weren't fucking Nick. I peeked in and they were cuddled up on the bed, still dressed in the same clothes, but they were sleep. It was cute because they looked like two kids looking for warmth." J.C. explained, still making Nick feeled shamed by his obvious stares. Nick felt all the red blood rushing over his cheeks as J.C. gave his less than favorable explaination.
Nick lifted his glass and took a big sip to try and wash away his embarassment. "Is that what you've been drinking all night?" J.C. asked, almost fearfully. Nick lowered the glass, not looking at J.C. He looked over to the bartender quickly and then J.C. "Ask him. Tell him Rog', all I've had is water... clean, non-alcoholic water," Nick requested, speaking directly to the bartender. As the bartender wiped down a few mugs, he turned toward the battling couple. "Yep, that's all he's had tonight. Just boring, bottled water. He's actually been the clean of the bunch." Roger, the aging bartender responded. He placed the few clean glasses to the side and looked down the long counter. "Unlike that guy." he whispered, pointing to the end of the counter. Nick did not look, but J.C. could not help but peer down the stretch way. His blue eyes spotted A.J. in an uncomfortable way. He watched as A.J. sipped heavily on a mug of beer while a shot glass of Tequila awaited him. J.C. looked back to Nick with curiosity. "Will he be okay?" J.C. asked in a hushed voice. "Depends. He's away from his seven month pregnant girlfriend... and it's not like the relationship has been easy as it is." Nick commented in an experienced voice. "Have you talked to him?" J.C. pondered. Nick took another gulp of his water and passed his glass aside. He shook his head with a subtle form of pride. "A.J. wouldn't want me or anyone for that matter to talk to him right now. He needs his peace and his thinking time. Too many outside opinions will cloud his judgement and that's the last thing he needs. Plus A.J. will release his feelings sooner or later. We just have to wait for them." Nick stated. His body may have been that of a nineteen year old, but the years of knowing his 'second family' made him more advanced in how everyone liked to handle their problems. J.C. was intrigued about learning the lessons behind the Backstreet Boys.
Nick turned his body to face J.C. for a more intimate conversation. "A.J. is quiet and very to himself when something is bothering him. He doesn't want everyone crowding him or trying to comfort him. He might go to one of us... but he'll be damned if everyone and their mother knows what's going on." Nick explained the basis behind his friend's actions. J.C. understood them well, as he did the same. "Sweet D's a little different about his because if something is really bothering him, he's going to go to the source of his problem and either confront them or see why it is that person or thing really gets to him." Nick laid another explaination for J.C. to grasp. J.C. compared mental notes and could see those qualities in Chris and Lance. "Kevin however is another case... if something bugs him, he's taking it out on the rest of us. If he's worried, angry, nervous or just over emotional, he's going to bring it all out on us and not even explain himself." Nick said with angst. He was too familiar with Kevin's personal form of PMS. "That sounds like Joey." J.C. tried to make light of it. Nick shrugged, grabbing his glass again. He let it linger in his hand while he moved on. "Brian is a rather interesting one though. He doesn't hide his feelings too well. We can all usually tell what it is that makes him upset, but when he does get upset, it affects every last thing he does. I've seen him break down and just cry because something was truly stressing him and he couldn't concentrate on anything, but that one thing." Nick said in detail. J.C. saw the same aspects of Justin in Brian. He also saw Lance in Brian's weaknesses. "He just can't handle things building on him when there's an issue that is unresolved." Nick added, finally taking a sip of his water.
Nick slid the glass back on the counter, glincing down to A.J. to see his head resting in his arms on the counter. He shook his head, his thoughts drifting from his present subject. "What about you?" J.C. inquired, grasping Nick's hand for help. Nick looked back to J.C. with a small frown. "I... I used to resolve my problems with a drink or thinking of ways to make my dreams come true. Except my ideas were never well thought through and therefore... I basically fucked my life and others." Nick said. He let his body slouch slightly. J.C. squeezed his hand tightly. "That's not you now." J.C. stated clearly. Nick raised his brow at J.C. "You handle your problems by talking them out now and trying to resolve each one at a time. You never take on too much and you never try to step in others ways. And if something is bothering you, you don't take it out on everyone else as a way to resolve your issues." J.C. let out his justification. Nick let painted a smile on his own faces, but J.C. could not see the thoughts hidden behind Nick's sharp blue eyes.
Nick lifted J.C.'s hand to his lips and kissed it as a gentlemen would. J.C. did not break for laughter, innocence filled his eyes and lips. "I'm kind of worn out Joshua. Maybe we could go to my room and just sleep tonight?" Nick requested softly, keeping all eyes away from them. J.C. wanted to look back and give a preference of helping A.J., but he held his ground. He nodded. "I'm beat too." he whispered. Nick liberated a miniature smirk. Nick brushed a finger over J.C.'s chin, feeling awkward when he felt hairs there. "Hmmm, maybe I should re-think telling you not to shave." Nick joked, letting his smile grow. J.C. pushed his hand away with a laugh. "I like my goatee, thanks. It's not like it's big, just a few hairs here and there." J.C. rebuttled with a smile. Nick nodded, trying not to be sarcastic. He however enjoyed seeing the sprouts of brown hair on J.C.'s chin. It showed a sign of maturity and manliness in J.C. He finally shrugged off his minute thoughts. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and dropped a twenty dollar bill on the counter. J.C. did not give into temptation to turn around and look at A.J. He felt Nick's face directly near his, the radiance of Nick's cheek upon his. "I love you Josh." were the whispered words in his ear. J.C. smiled briefly, Nick's lips pressed against his ear for a kiss. "Same here Nickie." J.C. responded, brushing his hand over Nick's hair.
Nick stood erect, looking around the dining area at all of the people still drownding away their stress in drinks and Tommy's music. The sight brought back tormenting memories of how Nick spent his nights when he was dealing with Lance and Brian. It felt as if his memories were bleeding into his heart again for his to relive his guilty past once more. His eyes were beginning to be clouded by the black and white images of the agony he had caused. He felt his hazy vision taking full fold and his nightmares becoming more of apparations. He felt his body become weakened by the retrospection. "Nick?" J.C.'s words fought through the fog of Nick's already moving thoughts. "Hey Nickie, you okay?" J.C. once again spoke out, pushing through the depth of Nick's mind to reach him. Nick closed his eyes tightly, a scream raging inside of his body. It was not audible and could not be released.
When Nick's eyes re-opened, the images had faded. He felt J.C.'s hand brushing over his cheek, trying to bring him back from his phantasm of a world. Nick shook away from him, moving a few steps back. J.C. gave him an abnormal stare, unsure of what was causing him such distress. Nick glanced around the room and no longer saw the reflections of his past. He felt a small gasp part his lips. "Nick, what is wrong with you?" J.C. asked impatiently. Nick shook his head, not responding to J.C. He quickly looked over to J.C. J.C.'s blue eyes could see the paleness of Nick's face, signifying his fear.
J.C.'s arms seized Nick into a compassionare embrace. Nick felt the home of J.C.'s heart in the hug. Nick raised his arms and began to wrap them around J.C.'s waist. He let go of the last few minutes to step back into the reality he adulated. He felt J.C.'s hand began to play with his hair, just as J.C. did during the night when they laid together. "What is wrong?" J.C. began to pluck Nick for information again. Nick stayed silent. The want to release Nick out of stubborness began to rise in J.C. "You have to tell me if you want me to help you in any way." J.C. declared, approaching Nick with an enhanced psychological attempt. Nick ignored the notion. "I just felt a ghost in my heart." Nick gave a puzzling response. J.C. pulled back a little, his eyes looking into the pool of ocean blue eyes that belonged to Nick. Nick made an effort to look away from J.C. He felt his lover's finger rest under his chin and keep his head up. He felt J.C. interrogating him just with his stares. "What does that mean?" J.C. asked, his tight cheeks not spreading for a smile. "It means just what it says and I'd appreciate it if we let it go until another time." Nick answered him with an honest and caring voice. J.C. did not find pleasure nor confidence in Nick's response. "Is that what you really want?" he decided to give into love instead of personal pride. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't want it." Nick responded. J.C. saw the undeniable honesty in Nick's eyes. "Then your wish is my command master." J.C. teased him, dabbing Nick's lips with his finger. "Ooh, I love it when you call me master. It makes me want to break out the leather pants, chains, whips and handcuffs." Nick joked, letting a laugh follow his words.
J.C. leaned his head forward and brought his mouth toward Nick's ear. "Do you think your managers would kill me if I gave you a hickey?" J.C. spoke inaudibly. The warmth breath tickled Nick's ear. He giggled softly. "Let's talk about that in my bed, shall we?" Nick suggested confidently. J.C. was thrilled by the idea. "If you kiss, I won't tell." J.C. cooed, clutching Nick's hand. Nick smiled deviously and walked with J.C. out of the dining area.
"Hey buddy, haven't you had enough yet?" the bartender questioned A.J. A.J. lifted his head from his arms and tried to stare at the bartender. Instead he saw a hazy vision of the bartender, unable to make out which of the visions in his eyes was the actual man. "Just a dry Martini and I'll call it a night... I promise." A.J. slurred out, dropping his head back into his arms. The bartender threw his towel over his shoulder and frowned at A.J. 'It has to be woman troubles.' the bartender thought, pulling out a new, clean glass for A.J. He placed the glass on the counter and grabbed his bottle of whisky from beneath the counter. He looked at it and thought out his options. He placed the whisky back under the counter and pulled out his spritzer bottle of water. He filled the glass with water and dropped an olive in it. 'He's too drunk to notice.' the bartender smiled to himself. "Here you go buddy, a dry Martini with an olive." the bartender stated, pushing the glass in A.J.'s direction. He gathered up A.J.'s other three, empty glasses and walked away. A.J. did not stir during the bartender's movements.
"Look at you. What are you doing to yourself?" a female voice spoke toward A.J. The sparkling voice caused A.J. to lift his head slightly. The pale light caused A.J. to squint, his heavy drnken nature overcoming him. He stared at the woman whose body had a luminescent glow around it. Her angelic face contrasted with her ravishing, black hair. A.J. could tell in the tone and her obvious beauty who she was to him. "Panda?" A.J. let out a questionable phrase. She crossed her arms, staring at him. "Amanda, what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice dropping with each last letter. "You should be asking yourself what are you doing here? Why you're getting drunk when you should be sleeping or thinking about much more important things?" she responded in a degrating tone. A.J. eased forward, trying to see how she could be sitting next to him at the bar. "Well Alex? What's the answer? Why are you wasting your life, your time and your money at this bar?" she continued to question him. A.J. felt a lump in his throat. Her voice was too familiar for him to doubt. "I... I.. I really don't know right now." he confessed. She shook her head at him. His response was not good enough for her. "Would you like me to analyze the situation for you Bone? How about we start with the fact that you're feeling sorry for yourself and you shouldn't be. If there's anyone you should feel sorry for, it's your friends." she professed. The statement smacked A.J. directly in the face. He propped his chin up with his hand, his eyes drooping. "Why... why them?" he questioned. "Why? Isn't it obvious? Of course not, you're drnk off your ass and could care less if they suffer for years as long as it doesn't stress out your day." she chastised him for his arrogance and blind way of life. "What are... Panda, what are you talking about? Why are yo saying this shit to me now?" A.J. tried to become angered, bt the alcohol had a stronger affect.
He sat up slightly on his stool, giving her his undivided attention. "Can we start with Kevin and Nikki? Or maybe Nick? Would you prefer me start with Howie? Possibly Brian and Justin? No matter where I start, you'd never know where I would finish because you're still walking around feeling sorry for yourself." Amanda retorted. He could see her anger and frusturation. "I don't feel sorry for myself." A.J. groaned. "Oh really? Because you sure as hell aren't feeling sorry for me. After all, I'm carrying your baby around. I'm in my seventh month and you're feeling bad because of what? It can't be because you didn't want the baby in the beginning. And it can't be that yo've only been there for a good sixty percent of the pregnancy. Please don't say that it's because you 'try' to be apart of this but it's stressful. I'd hate to hear you use those excuses for the hundreth time." she requested sarcastically. A.J. rolled his eyes, feeling his body sway. "I don't give 'excuses', I give reasons." A.J. argued. "You give bullshit Alex, and you know it." she retorted. A.J. sighed loudly and turned his head to his glass. "That's right, look at the one thing that supposedly helps you through all of this drama Alex. Does it feel like a good way out?" her words were taunting A.J. "Feels better than having you bitch at me twenty-four-seven for things that I just can't change!" A.J. remarked bitterly. He looked away from the glass to prove his strength. "Can yo change the attention you give someone? Can you want to be apart of someone's life and help them through a trying period? Can you change some of the things you do and make a few sacrifices for the one you love? It's not easy being a Backstreet Boys, but try being a Backstreet Boys' girlfriend and seven months pregnant. It's not exactly something you'd love to put on your resume." she brought good points to A.J.'s mind.
A.J. scratched his nose and looked down. He knew his shame and he knew his wrongs, but as it was given by birth, his stubborn attitude devoided him of the honesty he needed to admit it. "Saying it it one thing, but proving it is another Alex." she added. "It's not that easy." A.J. whispered, dragging half of his body up and resting it on the counter. She shook her head again and nibbled her lower lip. "Your life is not lived in the alcohol or the cigarette's Alex. It may seem hard now, but thunderstorms can't last forever. Once the sky does clear, you can't look up and complain about what was there. You have to look at the sky and see the beauty in what is now." she declared, hoping to sway his ways. "And what's there now?" he asked with a whimper, dropping his head to his arms once more. He closed his eyes, trying to stop the flooding of tears again. "Me. Your child. Your life." she whispered. The overwhelming thought of being able to live life with a family that he did not have growing up made A.J. think over his previous resolutions. This time, a few tears did escape his closed eyes. "I love you Panda." A.J. said softly.
When A.J. opened his eyes again, he was alone at the bar. He looked around with shock. 'Where... where is she?' he asked himself, trying to find a trace of his girlfriend in the room. "Hey man, are you okay? You haven't touched a drop of your drink and you look like you've just seen a ghost or something?" the bartender had returned with questioning. A.J. took a deep breath and then sighed it out. He sniffled and raised his hand to his cheek. There were still warm tears on his face. He wiped them away quickly and looked over to the bartender. This time his vision was a little clearer of the man who had provided him with a 'shelter' in alcohol. "Uhm, I... I'm not thirsty anymore, thanks." A.J. finally mustered a response. The bartender shrugged and then walked off.
A.J. did his best to stand from his stool, his body still in the process of dealing with the liquor flowing through it. He stumbled to the side, hitting a couple of stools. He felt a pair of arms catch him. "Someone's had too much to drink tonight." his savoir's voice stated. A.J. glanced to the side and saw Howie smiling at him. "You again?" A.J. tried to make a small joke with his words. "You should be so blessed." Howie commented with sarcasm. A.J. rolled his eyes and flexed a smile. He stood up straight with the help of Howie, but he knew his movement would not be coorodinated enough to make it to the elevators. "D, Amanda was here." A.J. slurred out. Howie cocked his eyebrow at A.J. 'Oh yeah, he's really drunk.' Howie passed off A.J.'s words. "Come on, you need sleep." Howie advised, wrapping an arm around A.J. for support. "No, I'm serious man. It was like her angel or something. She was here." A.J. disagreed, his face twisting with seriousness. "Okay, but you still need sleep Bone." Howie asserted. He reached into his pocket and dropped a fifty on the counter for A.J.'s tab and began to help him away from the counter. "She's was here and she talked with me." A.J. began again as Howie tried to adjust their movements. "Okay, good A.J. You can stay in my room tonight and tell me all about what happpened. And then we can call 'Manda and tell her all about it too." Howie tried to put on a front to ease A.J.'s mind.
A.J. suddenly became stiff and stopped Howie. Howie moaned with disappoint. "Just a sec' D." A.J. said in brief. He reached into his pocket and searched for something. Howie was surprised that A.J. was balanced enough to handle such an activity. A.J. pulled out a pack of cigarettes and looked at it. Howie's mouth fell open with surprise. 'He's smoking again?' Howie thought, watching as A.J. admired the box. A.J. shrugged and then threw the pack onto the counter. His confidence grew when he saw that he had not trouble letting go of the past. "That thunderstorm is over." he stated with his raspy voice. He smiled, staring at the pack as it laid next to the fifty dollar bill on the counter. Howie was curious with his friend's actions. "Come on, let's go D." A.J. pleaded, beginning to walk. Howie helped him and they walked from the dining area to the elevators without looking back.
Just Beginning (Chapter 48) Written by JM
My lullaby, hung out to dry
What's up with that?
It's over
Where are you dad?
Mum's lookin' sad
What's up with that?
It's dark in here
The piano glowing song filled Justin Littrell's headphones as he laid on his bed. He let his CD player rest next to him on the peaceful sheets. Tyke was resting next to the player. Justin brushed his fingers over his well gelled, sorrel colored hair and sighed. His eyes remained closed. His body was clothed in a yellow-orange Abercrombie and Fitch shirt and a pair of navy blue cargo's. Justin refused to slip his shoes on in some childish form of protest. He awaited Brian to end an interview on the phone, which was known to Justin as a 'phoner'. The interview had already drawn on for forty-five minutes and Justin was drained for time. It was but the second day on the Backstreet Boys' tour and Justin could see his time with Brian lessening. Even the early afternoon did not promise a walk in the park for the lovers. He knew that right after the interview, they were all heading for the venue in Raleigh for sound checks and then the concert. There would be no time for cuddling, talking or resting together. This was disappointing to Justin. Justin let his head turn to the side and rest while Natalie Imbruglia's voice rocked him to relaxation and revalation.
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to
Justin felt a warm hand caress his face, trying to awaken him from his drifting sleep. He blinked an eye open to peer who stirred him. Brian was laying next to him in the bed, staring at him with infantile blue eyes. He felt Brian grab his hand and intertwine their fingers. Justin let both of his eyes open and lock with Brian's. When Brian's finger tapped the edge of Justin's nose, he knew that Brian was going to make the time Justin lust innocently after.
My mouth is dry
Forgot how to cry
What's up with that?
You're hurting me
I'm running fast
Can't hide the past
What's up with that?
You're pushing me
Justin could feel one of his earphones being lifted slowly. He felt Brian's beath beating on the side of his face. "What are you listening to?" Brian whispered into Justin's ear. Brian's lips met with Justin's earlobe when he finished speaking. Justin smiled anxiously. "Natalie Imbruglia... 'Smoke'." Justin replied in a hushed voice. Brian ran his cheek along the smoothness of Justin's. "Do you want to hear?" Justin asked, pealing the headphones from his ears. Brian did not object to the idea as Justin slipped the headphones on Brian's delicate ears.
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to
I used to
Brian heard the desperation in Natalie's voice, calling out for something that was not there. Brian listened while the melody of the piano took over his soul. The added mixture of the violins and strings sections brought out the dramatic tone in the music. As he listened, Justin mounted his body, grasping Brian's hips with his legs. Brian paid no attention to his younger lover. Soon he did feel Justin's red lips brush against his in a mild kiss. Brian did not have a chance to retaliate the kiss as Justin's lips met with his cheek. Justin carved Brian's defined cheeks with his fingers and then his tongue. The kissing was sensual, never meant to be erotic. Brian remained still under Justin, breaking from temptation to the let the nirvana of the music and Justin's kisses heal a broken part of him. Justin's kitten-like movements were precious. He released a soft purr when he kissed Brian's Adam's apple. His left hand played with Brian's silky, tan hair. Justin's lips met with the tip of Brian's nose, sealing a pact that he had started with Brian's body.
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is breathing
I saw you crawling on the floor
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is breathing
I saw you crawling to the door
The final chorus was mute to Brian as Justin slipped the headphones off of Brian's ears. Justin smiled his heavenly smile for Brian as he ended the song. Brian looked at him, his intuition failing him. He remained quiet and still, letting Justin explain his actions. "I think it's time we go Bri." Justin whispered, pulling his face away from Brian's. Brian's hands finally lifted to rest on Justin's hips. "Right now?" Brian pouted. Before Justin could reply verbally, a loud knock hit their door. "Let's get to the bus Brian!" Marc, the security guard, barked from the otherside of the door. Brian cursed under his breath. He lifted his arm to look at his watch and see that it was indeed for the Backstreet Boys to begin their departure for the venue. He sighed with stiff anger. Justin grinned with an untainted giggle.
Justin slid off of Brian and moved to the edge of the bed. Brian rolled over and thought for a few seconds as Justin gathered his Nike's. "Would you like to stay on the tour for another week babe?" Brian asked, looking over to Justin. Justin looked up from lacing his shoes, a questionable expression painted on his face. "Another week?" he repeated Brian's words. Brian gave a small nod, praying that Justin would answer him properly. He watched as Justin nibbled his lower lip, signifying thought within Justin. "If it were possible, I would." Justin gave a brief reply. Brian nodded, not pleased with the answer. "I mean the second I get back to O-Town, we've got a few appearances to do and then I'm going to help my mom with some of her management stuff. Plus I told Britney I'd make one of her shows before her tour was over." Justin explained himself.
Brian seemed to linger out of that time and space, his soul stepping out of his body to reflect on a few thoughts. When his conclusions came into his mind, his verdict was administered. He looked into the sheets of the bed while Justin remained silent. "I'm sorry I can't stay for another week Snowflake... but uhm, I'll be sure to come on a couple more of the tour dates before it's over." Justin offered a restitution for rejecting Brian's hidden offer. Brian's eyes drifted up from the sheets and bargained with Justin's. "Justin, why did you let me listen to that song?" Brian asked softly, tracing his fingers over the silk sheets. Justin cocked an eyebrow at Brian, confused. "I figured you'd like to know what it was that I was listening to. You did ask me what I was listening to... and so I let you listen. It's a deep and cool song." Justin answered, stumbling from time to time on his words. Brian's eyes felt deceived in Justin's anwer. "Yes, it's a deep song." Brian agreed in a frozen tone. Justin slipped on both of his shoes, trying to avoid glances with Brian. 'Why's he being so strange?' Justin thought, tying up his shoes. "From what I heard, it's rather deep. Sort of a song about abuse." Brian commented, standing from the bed. The last word Brian uttered caused Justin's to snap up with a realization.
Justin saw Brian stride across the room and gather a few things. "Brian... you... you don't think I made you listen to the song because it was about abuse... do you?" Justin pondered without the self-confidence that usually asserted him a positive answer. Brian shrugged, not letting Justin see more than the back of his body. Justin was crushed by the silent response. "I would never do that to you... or myself for that matter. I just like the song because it takes you to a place that many people have, fear." Justin explained himself without Brian even asking for an examination of his thoughts. Brian stuffed a shirt into his bag. This still quiet response troubled Justin subsequently.
Justin rose from the bed and approached Brian's designated area. He threw his arms around Brian's waist and clutched him in an embrace. "Just as the song says, 'it's over', Snowflake. That part of my life... of your life... of our life is far in the past and it's nothing something either of us would like to see resurrected." Justin assured him with a whisper. Brian battled with his feelings. "Come on Bri, don't shut me out. You know I'd never want you to relive that incident. I'm not a sick, twisted or cruel person like that. I'm... I'm your husband, I couldn't flaunt something that nearly destroyed us in front of your face and see how you react." Justin gave a serious and stern argument with his sincere voice. Brian closed his eyes, ending his wadding. He dropped his bag to give into closure. "I was just curious J. I have faith that me and you are long past that part of our lives... and it's not something that I ever plan on returning to." Brian finally answered Justin. He toyed with Justin's ear as another sign of forgiveness and affection. Justin smiled inside and out, hugging Brian tightly.
"But if we don't get moving soon, we'll be in deep shit." Brian warned him, trying to pull out of Justin's hold on him. Justin laughed joyfully and released Brian. He playfully slapped Brian's ass and walked away. "I'll remember that!" Brian snickered, putting his bag on his shoulder. "Oh, I hope so." Justin winked at him. Justin pulled on his tan, rugged fisherman hat. "Don't forget the Tykster." Brian reminded him, assembling the things he needed before they left. Justin lifted the sleeping Chihuahua and slipped him into his own personal bag. Justin left the front flap of the bag open and zipped up the rest, allowing Tyke to continue his nap. 'I wish BJ was here.' Justin remarked to himself. He felt safe with letting his mother take care of the expecting Spaniel. He wondered if Tyke even thought of Justin's dog. He knew that it was none other than Tyke that helped BJ reach her stage of pregnancy. He shrugged away his thinking and placed on his back pack, followed by the bag Tyke slept in. "Okay, I'm set." Justin announced, making sure the last of his luggage would be prepared for their departure after the show. Brian smirked, dropping a condom into his luggage. 'We might need that tonight on the bus.' Brian gleamed in his mind. He closed up his suitcase and then grabbed his keys. They both stepped out of the hotel room and joined the others in the lobby so that they could leave for the venue.
"Okay, can we go through the last number once more? I want to make sure I have all the notes down before the show tonight," a young girl's voice rang through the venue. She received replies from the backstage hands, signaling an okay. She smiled happily. Her satiny blonde hair was pulled up into a nice ponytail. She was dressed in a white halter top and blue capri's. Her blue and white Saucony's were still in perfect order even though she had been dancing in them for twenty minutes. Her hazel eyes stared out into the empty arena. She puckered her soft, pink lips for a minute, showing her obvious youth. She was no greater than fifteen years old. She gripped her microphone and heard the DAT taped being loaded.
"Come on Jessee, Dominic, Kevin and Marcel." the girl requested, stepping to the center of the stage. She lowered her microphone and turned her attention to the backstage area. Four male dancers ran out onto the stage, sweating from previous work. "Here you go Mandy." Jessee said, passing her a bottled water. The young girl, known as Mandy Moore, took the bottle from him with a smile. "Thanks Jessee." she smiled. He smiled back and took his position. "Is this the last practice, Mandy?" Kevin pleaded with her. She giggled softly. "You aren't tired, are you Kev'?" she snickered at him. He rolled his eyes at her and then grinned. She nodded for him so that he knew of his answer. She turned to face the empty seats again, preparing to step into her dance moves. She lifted the microphone again and heard the sounds of her background vocals being sent through the stadium. "Okay, let's get it right guys." Dominic coached them as Mandy put on her stage frame of mind. Mandy lifted her mic, a serious expression covering her face.
Innocence is what I got
It'll take true love to hit the spot
Can't control my every move
When we're together, we're in the groove
Don't care about your other girls
I'm the only one that rocks your world
Gonna have to keep me satisfied
Because my innocence won't be denied, no oh
The dancing was on step and to the beat of the hard rock music. Mandy's body swayed in perfect beauty and grace as she got into the song. Her strong voice showed great maturity for this young girl. She did not take her hazel eyes away from the empty stadium, keeping her concentration locked on her objective. Her dancers were in tune with their own steps, making sure that they stayed alined and simplistic. Mandy released a small smile when she realized that she was perfecting her performance of 'So Real'.
Baby it's real (baby, baby)
So, so real (baby, baby)
That I just can't explain the way
That it's making me feel (baby, baby)
So, so real (baby, baby)
Baby it's real
I just can't let ya go
Baby it's real
Keeps me hanging on
Baby it's real
Unknown to Mandy was a younger blonde backstage, eyeing her with admiration. He watched her every step, picturing just her on the stage. She was a exact example of beauty to him. He crossed his arms and smiled as he daydreamed of her. She still did not notice him as she turned to face the backstage while dancing. He was not hidden in the shadows, yet he refused to stand out for her to look at. He preferred the oppurtunity to watch her in her greatness. He began to bob to the beat also, wishing he could be one of her dancers and get closer to her.
"Hey Aaron, what ya doing?!" a voice called out loudly, surprising the young boy. A hand slammed onto his shoulder with excitement while he trembled in fear. He turned with shakey eyes to see Nick Carter, Brian Littrell, Justin Littrell and John Dorough standing by. Aaron Carter looked at his older brother with angst. He snatched away from Nick's grip, irritation fueling his movements. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Aaron barked at him, making John's mouth drop with shock. Nick lightly pushed him back with a grin. "Still looking at Miss Mandy I see." Nick laughed, teasing his brother. Aaron looked past Nick toward his spectators. "Shut up Nickolas." Aaron hissed in spite. Nick looked at him with an odd and perplexed face. "If you like her so much, ask her out. Age is nothing but a number... ask Aaliyah." Nick stated, coaxing his younger brother.
Aaron growled toward him and then quickly spun around to catch Mandy ending her performance. "Here you go Mandy, nice job." one of the stagehands said, passing Mandy a towel. She thankfully grabbed it and then flashed him a smirk. "Ask for her autograph Romeo." Nick whispered into Aaron's ear as Mandy approached them. Nick's response was a sharp elbow into his stomach. He stumbled back with pain, his brother being sure to make sure he was strong in his subtle attack. Nick hunched down slightly while Aaron grinned, knowing that he had returned the 'kind nature' his brother gave him.
"Hello Aaron." Mandy chimed when she reached him. Aaron waved shyly at her. "What? We haven't seen each other for about a month and I can't get a hug?" she toyed with him in a friendly way. Aaron giggled softly and reached out to her. She grinned and answered his call by giving him a soft hug. She brushed a hand over his short, blonde hair. Aaron felt overwhelmed by her gesture. "Aaaw, don't they make the cutest two. You two should do a duet." Nick cooed from the side, breaking their hug. They both blushed when they heard his comment. Aaron backed a little further away while Mandy's attention was brought to Nick. "You're funny Nick. I think me and Aaron lost our sense of humor in Europe though... because that was not funny." Mandy ran with sarcasm in her tongue. She crossed her arms and stared at him with an exotic smirk. Nick laughed at her stance, trying to change her attitude. "Aaron, tell her it'd be cute if you two did a duet." Nick insisted, torturing his brother without Mandy's knowledge. Aaron looked down at the floor with anger. "Mmm hmm, I can hear how it would go too. Something about Nick being the biggest jerk in the world and always playing jokes that just aren't funny." Mandy resolved the issue with her quick snap. "Oh, I could write a couple of albums about that." Brian cheered from the background. Nick remained silent. Aaron looked up with a sly grin, seeing that his brother's words were finally matched in the fifteen year old girl.
Mandy eased out of her stance and walked by Nick. She patted him on the shoulder and said, "It's nice seeing you again Nick. I missed this." Nick nodded with a sour expression. Mandy made her walk short as she stopped near Brian. "Feeling better?" she questioned him, extending her hand toward him. Brian's lips broke for a smile, shaking her hand. "Yep. I'm all better now. I bet that makes you mad, you'd love to see me hurl before every show." Brian teased her. She snatched her hand back with fright. "Ill! You sneezed on these hands!" she played along with him. He laughed loudly before pulling her into an embrace. "You're too much Mandy." he snickered while hugging her. She hugged him back, continuing to giggle. "Just remember, I'm like your little sister and I have to watch out for you." she reminded him, breaking the hug. "Oh really?" Brian chimed while she pulled back. "Of course!" Mandy boasted, nudging his side. "I don't remember getting any 'Get Well Soon' cards from you," he kidded with her, slipping an arm around her. She ignored guilt to keep the humor alive.
"Eh Brian, you're not going to introduce Mandy to Justin?" Nick's revenge was always sudden and unexpected. Brian looked over to Mandy who was intrigued by the idea. She was dazed by Justin's honest good looks. Justin gave her a grin and stretched out his hand. "Mandy Moore, this is Justin from 'N Sync. J, this is Miss Mandy Moore." Brian stated as Mandy reached out her own hand to meet his. "Uhm, I know who Justin Timberlake is, thanks." she assured him, taking Justin's hand. Justin felt awkward to the name. It had been months since he had been known as 'Justin Timberlake', but he knew that Mandy was oblivious to the marriage between Brian and Justin. "I'm pretty familiar with your music too. J.C. brags." Justin gleamed for her. "Oh is he here?!" Mandy asked with a sudden spurt of excitement. Justin nodded happily, seeing the life in her eyes. "Where is he?" she asked, looking around the backstage area for a trace of him. Nick was curious as to her sudden infatuation with J.C. This phenomenon also intrigued Aaron, who stood to the side. "Uhm, I think he's still on the Backstreet bus," Justin responded, looking for to Nick for a definite answer. Nick began to think of his last words with J.C. "Uh, yeah, he should be on the bus." Nick nodded. "Is he going to be here for the show?" she asked with a blazing thrill in her grin. Nick rolled his eyes and walked for the main stage. "Yep, he'll be here for tonight's show and tomorrow's show in Charolette." Brian confirmed. Mandy felt bubbly with the notion.
Justin watched her and then Aaron. He knew the emerald tint running over Aaron's eyes. He was jealousy's premium victim. "Why don't I take you to see him and the others Mandy?" John offered. Mandy saw no problem with the suggestion. She had ended her sound check and she knew she would not have much time to see him before the show began. "Okay." she gave a short reply, advancing from Brian to John and then following him out the back of the venue. Justin, Nick and Aaron all watched her with sharp eyes.
The day drew on until early evening hit. The venue was at it's peak of capacity, all of the fans screaming loudly as the Aaron Carter began his opening act. Some of the fans stood in the outside of the venue trying to look backstage while others were in the vending area trying to purchase anything that represented the Backstreet Boys and meet any of the opening acts that might have known or conversed with the guys.
Justin stood around backstage while people ran around doing what they were paid for. No one stopped to question or make conversation with Justin. They could not afford the time. Justin was cuddling Tyke in his arms while Brian had another conversation on his cell phone, this time with his mother, Jackie Littrell. He let Tyke toy with the lamenated pass that dangled from around his neck. "Yeah mom, I love you too. I'll call you tomorrow." Brian ended his talking with his mother and handed his cellular phone to Carlos, another of the Backstreet Boys' security team. Brian looked over to Justin who had drifted into his own world. "Hey." Brian snapped his fingres near Justin to wake him. Justin turned his head to look at Brian with an awkward expression. "You okay?" Brian pondered, searching Justin's eyes and lips. Justin nodded with an assured stare. Brian slid his arm around Justin's shoulders and pulled him close. "It's just different being backstage and not having to worry about running on stage in ten minutes." Justin declared. Brian lightly kissed the rim of Justin's ear and then used his tongue to toy with Justin's hoop in the cartilage of his ear. "It'll be nice having you here to wait for me after each sex... er, I mean set baby." Brian giggled in Justin's ear. Justin elbowed him with a smile. "Careful Bri... you just might not get any from me." Justin warned him with a whisper. Just the notion silenced Brian shortly.
Tyke pawed Justin desparately as they stood around the backstage area. Justin looked down at the dog who seemed to plead with him in his barking. "I think Lil' Tyke has to go potty." Justin stated, holding in his laughter. Brian looked over to Tyke and saw the familiar signs. "I'll have Jill handle it." Brian responded quietly, pulling his arm from around Justin. Brian looked around fervently for a sign of his wardrobe personnel. Justin felt Tyke becoming restless in his arms. "No Brian, it's okay. I'll take Tyke out back." Justin spoke up, brushing Tyke's head to calm him. Brian looked at him with worry. "I can have Jill or one of security take care of it." Brian tried to sway his suggestion. "No, I've got it. It shouldn't be a problem. Just tell Marc I'll need him to walk with me out there so I don't get mauled or anything." Justin assured him. Brian was still not confident in Justin's want. He knew well of Leigh Ann's attempts to take Tyke to the restroom and her constant harassment by fans. Justin's eyes seemed to give Brian the order to get Marc and allow him to do what he wished.
Brian groaned under his breath and turned toward the front of the stage. "Hey Marc! Let me talk to you for a sec'." Brian requested, walking over to the large security guard. Justin smiled and then began his patient wait with Tyke. Justin watched Brian become diplomatic while talking with Marc. Soon they were both walking in Justin's direction. "Are you ready Mr. Littrell?" Marc asked with a generous smile. Justin looked around with laughter. "That's me?" he joked with Marc and Brian. "Yeah... it's you." Marc laughed out. Brian eased over to Justin. He scratched right behind Tyke's ear, knowing that's what the dog loved. "Don't talk to strangers." Brian warned Justin softly, a Cheshire grin running over his lips. "Yes daddy." Justin said in an infant voice. Brian rubbed Justin's shoulders with glee. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Justin's. The thought of others around the area or even looking at Brian and Justin did not cloud Brian's mind. He ran his lips over Justin's like his tongue would move over a scoop of ice cream, slowly and tenderly. He relished the taste of Justin's wet mouth. Justin continued the kiss, keeping their tongues separate.
The obtrusive and abrasive clearing of Marc's throat prompted them to pull back. Brian smiled, leaning forward for one last short kiss. Justin smiled during the kiss and pulled back. "Wait, you've got a little something right there." Brian pointed out, dabbing Justin's lips. Justin licked his lips while Brian's finger remained. His tongue brushed over Brian's finger as Brian pulled it back. "Aye yo, Brian, I know you are needed in wardrobe." Marc became rude with his request. Brian sighed near Justin and moved backward. "We're going on stage soon, so uhm find a place back here when you get back and I'll find you." Brian informed Justin. Justin gave an inclination to show he absorbed Brian's request.
"Come on Mr. Littrell, we don't want to be out here forever." Marc stated, trying to lead Justin away. "Be careful with him Marc!" Brian called out as they began to step for the back of the venue. Marc looked back with a grin. "I'll be sure to bring him back in at least two pieces Brian." Marc said with brilliant sarcasm. Brian pouted toward Marc. "You better!" he finally gave in to the joke. Marc waved to him and then walked Justin out the back exit.
Two girls stood with a crowd of ten by the outside gates of the venue. They knew they had at least thirty minutes before the Backstreet Boys show would commence. The two girls were known as Carmen and Nichole. They were of the age of eighteen and quite above the group of 'teeny boppers' that surrounded them. They didn't complain though. They were already fortunate enough to meet the three guys of EYC and two of Mandy Moore's dancers. Still Carmen and Nichole were not satisfied. They had yet to meet a Backstreet Boy or even a Backstreet Boy dancer.
Carmen sighed loudly, looking around the area for a sign of relief. "Damn it, why can't one of them come out here and go to their bus or something." Nichole griped grimly. "They're probably getting ready for the show. On the Internet, they said that sometimes one of the Boys might come out here and either just say 'Hello' or they might have to get something from security back here." one of the smaller girls explained. Nichole looked down upon her as if she was nothing but flesh in the street. "Or one of their girlfriends might come out here." another spoke up, drawing Nichole's concentration. "One of their what's?" Nichole questioned snobbishly. "They all have girlfriends... they said so on Total Request Live." another added. Nichole was irritated by the thought. "Once Nick Carter gets a glimpse of these thighs, he won't be so committed." Nichole professed with glee. Carmen laughed shallowly at her friend. "Nich', you're so wrapped up in your self image." Carmen commented, looking around the area again. "But honey, it's because I look good." Nichole boasted. Carmen felt another spur of laughter rushing over her. "Besides, what would Nick want with some dumb bimbo out there? I have intelligence." Nichole added, looking around with Carmen. "I read on the Internet that Nick's dating a girl... and her name is Mandy... and she's eightenn but she's not really pretty." the first one began again. Nichole groaned vocally, feeling the need to slap the girl. "Did you hear that Nichole? She's your age. You two will have a lot in common." Carmen teased her with a hug smirk. "Yeah, like how Nick will want me and not her." Nichole snapped back.
Her words were silent in Carmen's ears when Carmen looked toward an approaching pair. Her eyes grew large when she recognized the familiar face. "Nichole... Nich'..." she hissed toward her friend to avoid the other girls noticing what she did. Nichole was busy arguing with the little girls on Nick's current dating situation. Carmen could spy Justin getting closer. "Oh fuck, Nichole Peterson!" Carmen finally barked out, grasping everyone's attention. She damned herself for being so loud. "What is it girl? Can't you see I'm trying to tell these little anal retentive girls that Nick is really single and waiting on me?!" Nichole argued with her in a snobbish voice. Carmen's face flushed into a red shade. "I don't care if you're talking about how Nick's going to eat your pussy when he sees you. Pay attention to me damnit!" Carmen roared, grasping Justin and Marc's attention as they walked nearby. Nichole looked past her friend and saw what she had been trying to point out all along. She gasped with surprise. "Oh I can't talk right now Carmen, Justin Timberlake is right over there!" Nichole blurted out, causing the other ten girls to beam in the direction of Justin.
Marc saw the group looking at them and then he turned to Justin. "Shall I dismiss the ladies?" he inquired, not noticing each of them approaching. Justin looked at them and then smiled. "Let's play nice Marc. Don't send them away just yet." Justin replied. He waved at the young girls and then walked away with Tyke. Marc followed Justin's orders and stayed firm in his position. He watched sa some of the girls became bold and walked directly toward him. "Please back up ladies..." Marc requested, forcing the girls to quit their onslaught. "Is that Justin from 'N Sync?!" one of the girls screamed out. Marc was disappointed in his job at the moment. "Is that Justin Timberlake?" Carmen asked in a more calm demeanor. Marc gave her an assured nod. Carmen was excited by the idea of seeing Justin. "If you all stay calm, I'll see if maybe he'll chat with you for two minutes. Right now he's taking Lil' Tyke to use the restroom." Marc stated, trying to ease the girls further back. "You mean Brian Littrell's dog, Lil' Tyke, the Chihuahua that he's had since July of 1998 and that he used to own with Leigh Ann Wallace, his former or current girlfriend?" the first, known as the more geeky girl asked. Marc was puzzled by her question, but he soon pieced everything together. "Yes, that's the dog and it's former girlfriend." Marc explained, causing a gasp to fall over the crowd. "So it's true huh? I knew he wasn't dating that old hoochie." Nichole boasted. Carmen was never embrassed by her friend's bold speaking. However, Marc loathed it. "According to the girls on the Internet, Leigh Ann is..." the young girl started another of her speeches. "Little girl, shut the hell up. No one wants to know what those bitches on the Internet said. You've got Brian Littrell's security right here and Justin Timberlake's a good ten feet away. So shut up!" Nichole shouted at her. This ended her babbling.
"Hi ladies, how are you doing?" Justin finally made his appearance by Marc's side. Nichole turned around briskly and gawked at Justin. "We're doing good now that you've showed up." Carmen flirted promptly. Justin smiled at her, giving her the oppurtunity she wanted. "Can you spare a little time with the ladies, Justin?" Marc requested to silence their pleas. Justin looked at them and then flashed them all a grin. "I guess I could sign a few autographs or something." Justin agreed. Nichole was the first to step up with a marker and her navel area. "Just sign, 'Love always Justin' above the belly button." Nichole requested robustly. Justin raised his eyebrow at her with fear. He grabbed the marker and grabbed her Backstreet Boys' tour pamphlet. He squiggled his name on the front and handed it back to her. "That should do." he made nice with her. Nichole shrugged and settled for that. "Hey Justin, why are you here and not with the guys? Is 'N Sync opening for the BSB now?" one of the females asked him. Justin grabbed a slip of paper and signed it for the geeky one. "Uhm, no, we're not. I'm just here supporting the guys on our time off actually." Justin answered her. Marc made sure the girls did not get too friendly with Justin while he went around signing things. "Are you taking care of Tyke for Brian?" the geeky one spoke up. "Yeah, I get stuck with all the fun work." Justin laughed, the girls following suit.
Marc smiled at the affection the girls gave to Justin. He was unsure how each girl would react if they knew Justin was indeed Brian's husband. "Excuse me. Is Amanda here tonight? A.J.'s girlfriend?" one of the smaller ones asked Marc. Marc looked down to her and lost his bear-like attitude to smile at her. "No, she's not here tonight. She's at home." he gave her a short and direct answer. 'So that is his girlfriend?' the geeky one seemed to be taking mental notes to share with her Internet friends. "Are any of the girlfriends here tonight?" she became bolder with her probing for information. Justin gave her a small look before beginning to autograph another piece of paper. "Young lady, you should not worry about that." Marc spoke in a deep tone. He did his best to cover for Justin at the moment. "Is just a simple question. I mean I'm sure if they were here, Justin would have seen or talked to them backstage." Nichole played the accessory in the attempt to dig for vital information. Justin giggled softly, faking his actions. "Actually, Amanda's not here... and neither is Kev's girl." Justin answered her. Carmen crossed her arms and waited to see if Nichole was as coniving as she knew her to be. "What about Mandy?" Nichole's words rolled off her tongue with disgust. "Mandy? Mandy Moore?" Justin pondered, giving her a weird expression. "No, Nick's girl." Nichole sighed out. "Nick's not dating a girl named Mandy." Justin informed her. Nichole's eyes lightened up.
Carmen pulled out her Kodak camera and passed it to Nichole. Nichole looked at her with a fuzzy expression. "Watch the master young Skywalker." Carmen whispered to her. Nichole laughed rudely, drawing a small amount of attention. Carmen strolled over to Justin as he signed one more tour brochure. "Excuse Justin... can I get a picture with you and Tyke?" Carmen asked shyly, knowing that was the right way of flirting. Justin looked at her and then shrugged. "Do you want to hold him while I sign this young lady's shirt?" Justin offered. Carmen batted her eyes and then offered her arms for Tyke. Justin passed Tyke into her arms and went back to autographing the other girl's Backstreet Boys shirt. Carmen looked back to Nichole and winked at her. Nichole rolled her eyes, feeling a loss. "Uhm, does Chris really have a girlfriend?" the young girl asked Justin as he signed her shirt. Justin gave her a small smirk. "Yeah... he's dating a girl named Kameelah from 702." Justin gave her a soft answer. The girl frowned slightly when hearing Justin's response. Justin shook his head and then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm sure he'd save himself for you if he knew you," Justin whispered to her. A smile crossed her lips again. "There you go sweetheart. Okay, let's do this." Justin chimed, turning back to Carmen. He wrapped an arm around Carmen's shoulders and pulled her in tightly. "Say cheese." Nichole demanded, preparing to snap the photograph. "Cheese." Carmen and Justin said in unison. Nichole flashed the picture and then smiled at them. 'What a bitch.' Nichole thought of Carmen as she continued to flirt with Justin.
"Could you tell Brian I said he had a cute dog?" Carmen requested innocently. Justin pulled Tyke from her arms and winked at her. "Sure, I'll tell him for you, darling." he replied gently. Justin was captivated by the love he received from the girls. He could not imagine the hassle Leigh Ann suffered through with the young concert goers.
"Justin, we've gotta go. The show is going to start soon... Mandy Moore just left the stage." Marc informed Justin, trying to pull him from the mass of girls. Justin looked at him and then acknowledged his demand. He briskly reached into his pocket and pulled out two backstage passes. "Here you go ladies... you can tell Brian you like his dog after the show. Just show these passes to security and they'll escort you to meet the boys." Justin stated, handing Carmen and Nichole the lamenated passes. Nichole snatched up her pass with victory. "Take that Nick's girlfriend!" Nichole shouted. Justin gave her an odd stare while Carmen took her pass. "She thinks she's going to meet Nick's girlfriend." Carmen whispered to Justin. Justin laughed softly. "Fat chance of that happening." Justin snickered, knowing secrets that neither of the girls knew. Carmen nodded.
"Justin..." Marc hissed, still trying to grasp Justin's attention. Justin sighed and then backed away from everyone. He gave each of them a small wave. "Nice seeing you ladies. Enjoy the show." Justin made his final words known to the girls before he and Marc walked back toward the rear entrance. Carmen and Nichole took a final look at Justin as he walked into the venue. "Do you see what a little flirting can do?" Carmen boasted to her friend. "Please!" Nichole blurted out. Carmen pushed her friend lightly and then walked away. "It was my belly button girl! Didn't I tell you... it's all in the looks." Nichole continued to babble in her conceited tone as they walked for the front entrance.
The stage was set at a different venue in Los Angeles. A group of five women, known as Innosense was rocking the house with their music. They covered each inch of the stage with their dance moves. Their immeditae contact was with the crowd, trying to make sure the crowd was hyped for the ensuing act. Dressed in baby blue and white outfits halter tops and skirts, they kept the crowd screaming and dancing. Whether their new fame was brought on by Nikki and Amanda dating two of the Backstreet Boys, their music, Veronica being a former of Justin Littrell, their appearances in Britney Spears's and Backstreet Boys' videos did not mean much to them. They were upon the stage to perform and enjoy themselves. And just as the hard hitting as the song they sang, their attitudes showed their sense of longevity.
What's wrong with me right now? (oh what's wrong)
Knowing that she might still be around
(she might, she might)
I was caught to you and I don't know what to do
(I just don't know what to do)
I'm cravin', I'm cravin' for you
Jenny Morris and Danay Ferrer sang their bridge together, standing in front of the group. They eased back so that the girls stood in a line and could sing the chorus in harmony.
I know there's consequences for loving him
But I'm really to risk it just to hold him
I won't tell myself I don't need him
Because inside of me, I'm feindin' for him
I know there's consequences that I must pay
But I'll do anything just to hold his hand
And I won't deny myself this feeling
But there's someone that we're deceiving
Veronica Finn ran to the front of the group to hype the crowd further. She adjusted her baby blue cowboy hat and sang with full force. Mandy Ashford stayed to the back, her blonde hair pushed up in a tight bun. She did not seek being noticed that night as she felt ill. Nikki DeLoach however took on Veronica's attitude and ran around the stage. Jenny also made her self known, knowing that fans were used to the now more-than-pregnant Amanda Latona being onstage. She raced to bak from Amanda's shadow in the fan's eyes and in her group member's eyes too.
There's consequence
For what we do
And I won't deny myself this feeling
But there's someone that we're deceiving
The girls all lined up once more for the final note and then the song and their set ended. The crowd applauded them with tremendous love. They bowed in unison for the crowd. "Thank you!" Nikki screamed out to the crowd. "I hope ya'll enjoyed the music... it's from our forthcoming album, called 'Innosense'. Go get it in January ya'll." Danay informed the crowd, trying to catch her breath as she did. "We hope ya'll had fun tonight..." Veronica added. Nikki waved to a few members of the crowd while the others thanked everyone. "Let me introduce the girls... I'm Danay Ferrer... that's Nikki DeLoach and Mandy Ashford... then we have Veronica Finn and our new member, Jenny Morris. And we are Innosense." Danay breathed out to the crowd. All of the girls formed up and waved to the crowd. "You rock Los Angeles!" Veronica added loudly. She was thanked by the screams of the girls and boys in the crowd. "Get ready for Britney Spears ya'll." Nikki remarked, trying to usher her group from the stage. "Thanks L.A.!" Jenny shouted as they all began to vacate the stage. The crowd continued to cheer them on, even after they left.
Mandy was the first to make it to the backstage and hand the technician her microphone. "Hey Blondie, are you going to be okay?" Veronica asked, rushing after her. Mandy did not answer her, her nauseated stomach urging her to make it to a restroom. Jenny snatched up a clean towel and began to pat down her face. "Great crowd tonight." Jenny cheered. Danay slipped past her and looked around. "Yeah it was, I wish Panda could have seen it." Danay agreed, searching for Britney Spears. Jenny curled her lip with disgust. "She wouldn't have enjoyed not being able to be on stage though... so it's best she's at home resting." Jenny tried to play friendly with her own devious thoughts. Danat looked at her in agreement. "Still she would have liked being out there. Which reminds me, I... need to call her." Danay remarked, walking away from Jenny. 'You do that... bitch.' Jenny thought in her mind, strolling off.
Nikki stepped backstage and passed her microphone off. She grabbed her bottled water and towel and headed for the girls' dressing room. "Miss DeLoach." a voice stopped her. Nikki turned around slowly and looked at her questioner. "Miss DeLoach, we need to have a serious talk involving something important about tonight... it concerns your friend, Miss Spears." the voice informed her. Nikki sighed softly and nibbled on her lower lip. "Okay." she agreed to the request. She took a quick sip from her bottled water and then followed the man.
The night progressed with Britney Spears' show. Britney and her dancers entertained the crowd for forty-five minutes non-stop. The show was not over yet. Britney was dancing in the melody of one of her new favorite songs, 'Baby Boy'. The crowd was loving the new material as she sung in a low pitched voice. The dancers behind her had their own routine with black chairs.
I see it in your eyes
I see what you like
Baby boy, oh why
Do me and you waste our times
There's nobody else
I can't help myself
I'll be your baby girl
You can rock my world
Britney danced to the intermission that was known to be Missy Elliott's part. She flipped back her honey blonde hair and looked out into the crowd. Her brown eyes saw the excitement in the faces of the kids and the parents. She smiled affably and then began to sing the chorus while the dancers rushed the front of the stage.
Baby boy, look at you
You're so cute, I want to tell you the truth
Baby boy, here I am
Times have changed, baby please
Will you be my man?
The continued repetition of the chorus did not break Britney's concentration. She ran from side to side of the stage, sweating flooding down her body. The dancers cleared the chairs from the stage with their dancing while Britney tried to interact with the males in the crowd. She waved to a few in the front, but she knew she had to give her attention to everyone in the crowd. The dancers left the stage as Britney reached her final chorus. She sang it acapella, proving that she had a voice and could sing.
When Britney finished, she took a deep breath. The crowd gave her a loud ovation, making her happy though she could not afford a smile. "Thank you L.A., you're great." she finally panted out, walking to the side of the stage. She sniffled slightly and then looked up and out into the crowd. "I hope you all are having a good time tonight. I know that I am." Britney announced, keeping the clamorous squeals to proceed. Britney fixed her earpiece and then walked back to the middle of the stage. "Well I have a new album coming out soon. It should be out in Feburary and I've finished most of it up. I hope you'll like it. But right now... right now I want to do a song from the new album for you. This song is called 'Thinking Of Us', and it's a really beautiful song. I hope all of you in the audience enjoy the song... it's really good." Britney stated, taking a seat on a stool in the center of the stage. Britney knew in her heart that she was singing the song for an important reason and person.
The sounds of the song's composition soon filled the arena and Britney's ears. Britney pushed strands of her hair behind her ear and smiled. She cleared her throat softly and prepared to belt out the first verse.
My best friend called today
She asked me if I was stopping by
I told her that I was okay
But right now I think I'm gonna cry
I just saw you and your new girlfriend
And I wasn't really ready
My heart experienced deep unpleasure
And the beat wasn't steady
So I'm telling you
Britney's backup singers began to harmonize the chorus with her. She felt compelled to stand from her stool and walk across the stage. She sang in perfect pitch with the music, making her music sound as if it was prerecorded.
I've been thinking of us
Through the light and the dark
I realize we made a mistake
But it's too late to change
I'm thinking of us
What we had in our love
I'll never get that again
And I should have tried to stay friends
Britney twitched her nose and waved to a few of the front row occupants. She walked to the otherside of the stage so that no one felt unloved. She pointed to a few of the further back attendants while getting the lyrics in her head. She thought of one person while connecting with the notes and lyrics.
I have to pack up memories
If I'm to survive (it's okay, go ahead and cry)
I've experienced vulnerable emotions
But for some reason I refuse to cry
My friends say they understand
And it seems like they're genuine
But when I see you looking at me
I wonder what could have been
And I'm still thinking
Britney strolled back to the center of the stage as the crowd bobbed to the beat. She felt like many of the crowd members related to the song. Though Britney had not broken up with her boyfriend, she thought of him and the mistakes she had made in the relationship. At that moment, she felt a small tear caress her glitter-covered face. She caught the tear and wiped it away without many noticing. She repeated the chorus, taking a seat on the stool she originated from.
The crowd responded loudly for Britney. She was thrilled in their suddent outburst of screams. She could barely hear some of the muffled words that were screamed to her. She heard some names being called out, but she figured it was her subconscious creating deception in her mind. "Britney... turn around." a voice was heard in britney's ear transmitter. Britney raised her eyebrow with surprise. 'What?' Britney thought. "Turn around B!" the voice demanded of her. "Nikki?" Britney said softly, trying to make sure the crowd did not hear her. "Britney, look behind you." she repeated fervently. Britney stood from her stool, angreed. "This better not be another one of your fucking 'Scream' jokes." britney said rudely, turning around.
Britney's eyes were filled with fright when she saw what Nikki tried to point out to her. Standing behind her, holding something unrecognizable to Britney was a man in black. However this black outfit was not a long cape outfit. Nor did this man wear a horrifying ghost mask either. Instead he stretched out his arm, holding up a red rose. Britney blushed heavily. His scarlet red hair matched the hue of the rose.
Britney could finally make out the name that the crowd was calling out. "Joey." Britney ultimately gasped out. He smiled at his girlfriend and handed her the rose. He lifted a microphone and smiled at her. "A rose for my rose." he smiled. She giggled, feeling embarassed as the crowd cooed them on. Joey pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. Tears began to run from Britney's eyes as she witnessed the surprise. He released her from the hug and let her step back to the stool. He urged her to finish the song with him standing by. Britney grimaced and then sat. "For you Joey." she laughed out, looking back to the crowd. "It's been about two weeks since I've seen him L.A., bare with me." Britney explained herself for the audience. They clapped for the couple, urging Britney to say what she wanted. Joey laughed with little discomfiture. "Isn't he a great boyfriend?!" she yelled out, trying to make his cheeks rinse a deeper red. Joey shook his head and then waved to some of the girls that screamed for him. Britney sighed gently, knowing that Joey was all she was thinking of.