Brian and Dan: Special Note
Special Note from Author: My readers, it has come to my attention recently, that there is one major subject that I have not approached in my story. I shall not approach it in this chapter. It is not going to be the normal chapter, nor is it going to be in a normal story format. I wish you all read this, and write me on your feedback at admiralmmp@hotmail.com. Thank you, The Admiral
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CHAPTER 20A: Dan's Letter
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Brian awoke the next morning to see that Dan had gotten into his wheelchair and was writing in a book he had with him all the time. Brian had soon learned that it was his diary and that it was a private matter, and thus he would respect it.
Brian walked out of the room, and Dan looked at the door closed. I love you so much Brian, was the silent words that came out of his mouth. He looked back at the book and he put his pen down and moved over to the window that was in the room. I wish everyone could read that letter. Maybe someday it will be read to the world.
He stayed at the window a little bit longer before Brian came in to tell him that they needed to get ready to leave for the day. Dan agreed, and Brian helped him get a shower and get clothed, and they left the suite to go and get Tom.
Dan however had left his book open and the page he had been writing on was still exposed for anyone to come and see it. It read...
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My Dear friends and family,
I know that I know not what to say. I know that my heart is in pain and that I can not explain why. My family who I love with all my heart has turned on me and done something that is unforgivable. I wish that it never was, but what is, is, and what was, was.
First they throw me out, not wishing to accept me for who I was. Happiness was not there interest for me, but their happiness and they want to have a son that was normal.
However that was not the case with them. The continued on me, and they attacked my very life. They attacked me, but more so, they attacked Brain, the one love that I have ever felt love for.
They treated him as if he was an insect, and needed to be crushed. They felt he was a threat to there survival and thus they wanted him destroyed. Why they felt this, I will never know. I love him and nothing can change that.
I know I am not respectable for what happened to me. I know that my life was almost lost, and that if something happened to me, I am afraid that Brian would lose his as well. Either he would have killed himself, or he would have died of lack of eating and drinking. Or the life that made him happy would have died, and he might as well have been dead.
Why the hearts of people harden when they know not what they do. They harden their hearts to my love and me and to anyone who is different. They can not understand that there is more to life then just one way. If there were more then one way, we would be in a boring existence. I know this for a fact.
I know now that when Brian worries about me, he has freak dreams, where he can not be the controller. They are nightmares to him, and he can see no end to them. He loves me, thus he can not dream without me. He will not say what his dreams are, but he has something that he will not tell me.
I wish people would open their eyes and understand that being gay is not a disease that science can cure. It is not something that religions can pray away. There are many people who believe these facts, but they do not realize that they are this way.
As well do some people who are gay. They are torn inside and they know not what they can do. They think there is only one way, which is unspeakable, and it is hard to think of.
I live in a country that is the greatest in the world, but it isn't the greatest because we can look across the land without hitting hate with an arrow. Some people have agreed this is true, and have changed their ways. However there is still hate out there.
As it has been and always will be, which is sad. Humans are people who can change, but they can not change. Why? Because they are stupid and not wanting new things to enter there lives.
Wars are fought over ideas such as these. The Civil War was over the slaves. They fought for something that was different, and they won because they had to win. It was not a matter of if we lose so what. It was the fight for life.
But who will fight for my feelings. For something that people think can be changed by a pill or by reading a book that all translation has been lost to it?
People need to open their eyes and see the pain that many are faced. I am one person of many who have been thrown out of their house by parents who the day before said `I love you.' But the next day toss you out because you are not who they WANT you to be.
I know several people who get beat in school for being gay, looking gay, or acting gay. I know people who end up in the hospital because they are gay.
I have hate in my heart. I know this and I will not deny it. I will not suppress this hate, because the flames of those who hate me feed this hate. Who wish I were never born. My hate is feed by the words of everyone who has muttered against me or those that I love. I have hate that is blown in the wind and made strong by the acts of this nation.
Again I say, this letter may never be read to the world, or to anyone. But it must be said if only to myself. We live in a nation that is supposed to be great, but we have great hate that should never have happened.
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The book closed and Bertha closed here eyes. "Dan, you do have hate, and I hope you know how to calm it, and Brian I am glad you know how to soothe it."
She stood up and walked to the window that over looked the street below. She looked down and saw Tom, Brian and Dan. Their car came around and the all climbed in. Dan was last and he looked up at the widow and waved his cane at here before getting into the car himself. Bertha waved back at him.