Siberia Written by JM
** Disclaimer: Don't own em, don't know em, not factual. No harm, no foul. Please be at least the age of 18. **
"When you come back, I won't be here."
She said and gently pulled me near
"If you wanna talk, you can call
And, no, it's not your fault."
He could still feel the sting of half-unwanted tears burning at the back of his blue eyes. His right hand couldn't stop fidgeting between twisting his wedding ring on his left hand and dragging through his dirty blonde hair. He was trying to keep a presentable face because standing in a prestigious hotel lobby crying would do nothing for his career but air out his dirty laundry. It also wouldn't help his son Baylee who stood quietly next to him, one hand holding a baby blue blanket while the other held onto the hem of his father's jeans. He couldn't bare to stare down at his son for more than mere seconds, the solemn look reminding him of when Baylee was much younger and times when his marriage wasn't in the state it currently was.
I just smiled and said "Let go of me,
Now, there's something I just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part?"
She said it's not my fault
He could still feel a small ache in his right hand, just below his knuckles. He'll be the first to admit that his first punch only connected with the bedpost but the second try definitely hit jaw. He almost wished he hadn't hit the guy because after Leigh Ann explained everything to him, it seemed like she was the one who should be taking the brunt of the pain. His wholesome Christian values prevented that from happening, though.
He was supposed to be out of the house for most of the day. He was supposed to have meetings with his label and do a few promotional phone interviews for his album. There were even talks of a photo shoot but that fell through and he was able to do most of his interviews on the drive home.
He wanted to rush home and spend a few hours with his son and maybe even seek the quality time he and his wife had missed over the past few days.
It was all routine work. Leigh Anne was used to it by now. She had to be after being involved with him since 1999. She knew his life as a Backstreet Boy, a solo artist, a man period. But there was some kind of method to the madness that was his life. There was purpose. He was the first of them to marry the first to bring another generation into the world and the first to actually succeed at making a name for himself as a solo artist. His work was not in vain; or he thought so.
Walking into his bedroom, the already unfamiliar sounds of another man and the passionate screams that he had only been able to bring out of his wife, he felt purpose was but a word that was never properly defined to him. He didn't see the meaning in Leigh Anne having sex with another man in their bedroom in a house that his money purchased. Nor was there purpose in their marriage if she was going to defy all of their vows with an unreasonable explanation that brought about the tears he was still trying not to shed.
"I'm sorry.. Mr. Littrell..."
His attention was swept from thoughts of what had occurred earlier in the day and brought back to his uncomfortable demeanor while in the hotel lobby.
He had found himself twisting his ring once again, eyes sealing in forbidden tears as he looked upon the desk clerk. He tried not to let his jaw clenched under his skin as the clerk offered him back his credit card.
"Is there a problem?"
He caught the way his words made the clerk a little more nervous, the young boy only giving him brief spots of eye contact.
"I'm sorry Mr. Littrell, but we don't have any rooms available. I tried everything I could, even calling my manager. There's some kind of convention in town and a few other celebrities, plus regular guests..."
The ramblings of the clerk did nothing but further his pain. He didn't want to go home. He couldn't even call that place a home again. He told Leigh Anne to keep it, stay there, but he refused to leave Baylee behind. He refused to leave his son, especially since his wife so conveniently dropped their son off at the neighbors so she could fuck some guy instead of taking care of their son. And how long had this affair been going on? He had forgot to ask and was sure he'd find out later when he was in the state of mind to hear such things.
He had never in his life felt the need to throw "Do you know my name is Brian fucking Littrell of the Backstreet Boys" out to help him get anything and once again his morals prevented him from doing so in this instance. He just needed a place to stay for the night. He needed a room where he could think quietly and calculate what he was going to do for the rest of the week. He needed somewhere for his son to lay his head and while he did know a lot of people in Atlanta, none would let him stay without asking the question, "Where is Leigh Anne?"
"Please."
It was the only word he could whisper, his thoughts immediately floating to his son. It was pretty late in the evening and definitely past the time Baylee usually went to sleep. He just needed that small peace for his son.
His fingers gripped the edge of his credit card and his eyes would not relinquish their plea toward the clerk. He knew there were no other guests waiting behind him and his determination led him to wait because he wasn't going to drive all around Atlanta in search of a quality room to sleep in. Not in this instance.
"I'll take the smallest room and pay the price for a suite. Please, just don't do this," he pleaded and while he was sure had this been Kevin it would be beneath him to beg, Brian was willing.
"Mr. Littrell..."
"B? I mean, Brian?"
Brian didn't immediately recognize the voice, other than the fact that it was male and nearby. His mind was too scrambled to try and process, even if he could. That familiar burn behind his eyes had become numbing and he was sure his heavy sigh would force the inquirer to leave. But when he turned his head, he was still there.
Brian quirked an inquisitive eyebrow and didn't even know he had the strength to do it. The voice may not have been immediately recognizable but the face was. He rolled his shoulders and adjusting his stance, briefly trying to hide his distress. He sniffled quietly and felt his son tug a little on his jeans.
"Brian Littrell. I know we haven't talked in awhile and it's been years since we probably even spoke really. I don't mean to just jump into your conversation here or anything because you're probably thinking `Damn, there goes that little brat from *NSYNC.'"
"Justin," Brian spoke out, his voice a little shaky but very audible and he watched a smile form over the other man's face. "What are you doing here?"
"Promotional stuff for my clothing line. Been in town since last night and I got a day or so left. Trying to get out stuff in Bloomingdale's down here and all," Justin replied.
Brian nodded, trying to push aside his own thoughts but another tug from his son's small hand reminded him that he was still without a room and now Justin Timberlake, a man Brian had known on and off for years, stood talking to him and Brian's pride grew no smaller.
"Brian, you okay?"
Brian pressed out a smile that his thin lips barely held. He knew he wasn't convincing and if he didn't dispel his case, he was sure the clerk would eventually after he left the lobby with his head hanging low and his son stumbling nearby.
"I mean, I don't mean to get into your business or anything..."
Brian was glad Justin said that because at least there was still a bit of humanity left in people. Justin did always carry that slight air of southern hospitality when he was around even though they weren't around each other often and didn't speak more than two words when they were.
Brian took a quick glance toward Baylee before sighing out, "I'm just trying to get a room for the night."
Justin nodded, his observant eyes taking a look toward the clerk and then Brian again. He chewed the inside of his mouth while Brian's eyes were drifting again to Baylee. He wasn't sure how to comment on the way Brian's face showed strain or the way his eyes weren't hiding clear tears as well as he was sure Brian wanted them to.
"Well you're in luck then. I got a suite upstairs with plenty of room," Justin boasted joyfully, pressing out a smile for Brian. He ran an unsure hand over his buzzed hair, waiting on a response from Brian. He knelt down briskly until he was eye-level with Baylee, his grin larger as he glared at the boy. "And this little guy looks like he could use some rest."
Brian observed the way his son stared at Justin with wide eyes. He caught a diminutive smile cross over Baylee's lips before he shyly backed away so that half of his body was hiding behind Brian's leg. Brian chuckled to himself and it was the first real laugh he had felt in days.
"This is your son?" Justin inquired, deep blue eyes glancing up to Brian.
Brian nodded briskly, his fear only briefly alleviated. Just as Justin stood erect again, Brian knelt down and scooped up his son. He let Baylee grasp onto his arm, eyes focused on his father while Brian held a mild stare with Justin.
Justin brushed off the looks he got from Brian's soft blue eyes. He tapped his fingers along the edge of the counter and grinned. "Like I was saying, I got a suite so I have some extra room. It's not much B, but it's got a great view of the city out the window and there's a living room area plus a killer shower. I'm sure your son..."
"Baylee," Brian answered before Justin could ask the question. He permitted Baylee to rest his head on Brian's shoulder, nuzzling the side of his face to the soft, flaxen curls.
Justin nodded toward Brian before adding, "I'm sure Baylee would love to catch some shuteye in that luxurious bed."
Brian tried not to let Justin catch the way he sighed. He adjusted Baylee in his arms before taking a quick look to the clerk who was still secretly watching their conversation. He shook his head and turned his attention back to Justin, wholesome blue eyes still looking at him as if they had been the greatest of friends for years.
"I think its best we look elsewhere," Brian advised, fingers twirling into the baby curls adorning his son's head. "Besides, we're not the types to impose."
"Great," Justin chimed and caught the way Brian gave him an unhinged glare.
He laughed quietly and shook his head because he was certain Brian misunderstood him the moment the word slipped from his lips. "I mean, great because you wouldn't be imposing and it's running a little late for you to go hotel to hotel looking for a room when I have the extra space and arguing with someone like me probably won't go in your favor anyway."
Brian tilted his head. He wasn't sure if he was thrown by Justin's matter of fact tone or his lighthearted demeanor about offering someone that might as well have been a stranger a place to stay. His thoughts could only meander because Justin wasn't moving without him and his energy was too consumed with musings of how his life had taken him to this state.
"So if our friend here doesn't mind not charging me for the extra company," Justin spoke out, giving the clerk a once over with eyes that dared the clerk to challenge him. He merely received a nod that raised the already resounding level of confidence he carried. "I'd gladly grab whatever bags you have and we'll be on our way."
Brian was still in some state of stunned silence that did little to help him actually move but Baylee was becoming heavy in his arms and Justin was already reaching down to the backpack that laid near his feet. He tried to keep focus. Maybe he should call Nick in the morning or just get in Justin's room long enough to call to the other hotels so that he and Baylee would have another option? He observed the way Justin jerked his head in the direction of the elevators and for some reason his feet did not connect with his brain because he was following Justin instead settling on leaving.
Brian didn't know why he was so quiet on the elevator. Justin did ask him a few questions about his current projects and Baylee's birthday and Justin managed to fit in a rant about how he was unimpressed with the dinner his label had set up for him because he would've preferred a soul food restaurant. Brian thought to suggest one but he was still mainly to one word replies or quick nods.
The walk down the hallway toward Justin's room led Brian to watch the different paintings splayed on the walls rather than participating in Justin's conversation. He held Baylee's hand loosely and caught a few parts of Justin's words. It was something about his best friend, Trace, being sick and unable to attend the trip. Justin was forced to do most of the promotional work by himself and really Brian didn't realize he was actually paying more attention to the conversation than he intended to. He was a little befuddled because his eyes were actually watching Justin, caught on the words as each did a downward slip from Justin's lips. He even nodded when Justin actually acknowledged times when they were both respectively in their groups.
They came to a halt in front of a large man who seemed more curious by Justin's banter rather than the fact that Brian and Baylee stood nearby. Since when did he not become a threat? He wanted to muse on those thoughts but the bodyguard was beginning to acknowledge his existence with quick glances.
"Yo, Timberlake, don't tell me you're going all Madonna on me and adopting families while you're out," the man said with a baritone voice that Brian had become accustom to after years of traveling with security.
Justin laughed lightly before nudging Brian. Brian remained unmoved but he was sure Justin didn't notice too much because he was lowering the backpack he carried for Brian and unknotting the tie he wore loosely around his neck.
"D, do these two look like they're from a village in Africa?" Justin questioned, another chuckle fermenting in his throat.
Brian felt D's eyes on him again and felt a small cringe travel up his spine. He didn't want to have to go through this just to find somewhere to lay his head. Fuck Leigh Anne. He'd sleep in the garage if he had to just to escape this examination.
"Maybe South Africa? Like that Charlize chick," D finally replied with his own hearty laughter. Justin joined him and again Brian wanted to flee. He took a look down to Baylee who was sleepily observing them with fragmented confusion lacing his gentle blue eyes.
"Well B's got that exotic look going for him but no, I'm not bringing home families from other countries," Justin stated, pulling his keycard from his back pocket. He glanced back to Brian with a grin and he thought he caught a hint of blush rise up in Brian's chiseled cheeks but it might've just been embarrassment.
"So what's the deal then Timberlake?" D inquired, returning to his stern stature.
Justin chuckled lightly before pushing open the door. He held it open with his foot and turned slightly to D. "That's Brian, yo. From the Backstreet Boys? He and his son Baylee are going to be kicking it here for the night."
D nodded in concurrence while staring at Brian. Brian was sure D was unaware of why Justin Timberlake brought Brian and Baylee there at such a late hour. He was also sure that even Justin was oblivious of his own decision. But Justin still held that door open, eyes on Brian with white teeth still showing through a patient smile.
"Okay Timberlake but you know Annie and company are going to want clearance. Plus there's that meeting in the morning. I switch out with Lorenzo around seven in the morning," D informed him, easing back against the wall.
Justin stared at Brian, his head slowly motioning for Brian to enter the room. He could hear D's words and did not care to process any of them. His intentions were to make Brian comfortable. He tapped his fingers along the doorframe as Brian made a slow approach with Baylee. He sensed Brian's apprehension but failed to let his smile falter. Brian was gradually losing that flustered appearance from earlier and Justin was hoping to keep that forward motion until he felt relaxed enough to let Brian return to his own situation.
"I'm not worried about Annie or any other rep from the label D," Justin finally stated, his head tilted back in mock arrogance. "Just make sure you let Lorenzo know they're staying here and have somebody give me a wakeup call or something."
Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
Brian sat on the plush couch in the living area of the suite. His delicate blue eyes idly watched Justin scurry around the room, his amateur attempt at "tidying up." The soft white material felt like velvet but Brian didn't have mind enough to ask. Plus Justin was on the phone periodically. Brian caught that one of the phone calls was from his mother because Brian's name was mentioned and some form of "hello" was exchange between the two via Justin. Brian couldn't even remember what Justin's mother looked like let alone what her voice might've sounded like when she found out Brian and his son were going to be staying in the suite.
Brian was grateful his son was comfortable enough in Justin's hotel suite to fall asleep in his lap. His fingers danced through Baylee's hair, taking moments to look down at his son and think of his wife. He was certain Leigh Anne had probably called at least five times to check on Baylee but Brian had long since turned off his cell phone. Maybe Leigh Anne called Kevin and told him? He doubted it. She wouldn't be bold enough to confess to her own misdeeds.
"You know" Justin started softly, a T-shirt in one hand while his other held his cell phone to his chest, presumably to mute a call. Brian didn't care much. He just looked up at Justin with curious eyes.
"I'm sure Baylee would be much more comfortable in the bed. I'm sure the poor guy would like a pillow and the covers are actually rather comfy," Justin noted, tilting his head to give Brian a sideways look. He added a smirk for safety.
Brian briskly shook his head, looking down to Baylee. "We'll sleep out here."
"No the hell you won't. My mother taught me how to respect others and I may not be a parent but I have younger brothers. I'm not making poor Baylee suffer so I can sleep in a bed while he and his father try to find comfort on that couch. I can kick it out here," Justin insisted, dropping the shirt onto the arm of the couch before closing his phone and sitting next to Brian.
"Justin this is your hotel suite," Brian sighed out, anxious fingers still twirling through Baylee's curly locks.
"My suite, my rules. I respect that you're the older of us Brian but if you were the wiser you would accept kindness when it is offered," Justin admonished with a gentle expression. He placed a hesitant hand on Brian's shoulder and tried to press out an appearance of thoughtfulness.
Brian squinted his eyes before puckering his lips. His mind was bent backwards and arguing with Justin once more was not in his plans. But he found it hard to accept any form of kindness when the one woman he had trusted for well over seven years had already broken any reality he had where such a thing existed.
"As the younger I'd hope you could recognize gratitude when it is presented back," Brian replied. He tried to keep his voice low, the shifting of Baylee in his lap drawing his eyes downward. He had to agree that seeing Baylee curled to himself, his body half hanging on Brian, disturbed him. And while the couch was a little spacious, it wasn't exactly going to be a comfortable fit for Brian and Baylee to sleep on.
Justin squeezed Brian's shoulder with a smirk. He stood slowly and returned to adjusting things in the room. "It's your choice Brian. But I got dibs on the couch."
Brian caught the way Justin laughed as he walked off and he could only close his eyes and giggle with him. Justin's stubbornness wasn't easy to battle with. Maybe when his mind wasn't so jumbled with thoughts of the day and what the future might hold, he'd find the energy to challenge Justin. But at the moment he merely lifted Baylee into his arms and carried him in the direction of the bedroom.
When Brian emerged from the bedroom, he spotted Justin sitting on the couch with Brian's backpack in his lap and his fingers swiftly typing on his SideKick. Brian stretched near the back of the couch and rolled his shoulders before walking around to the front side. He toed off his shoes while watching Justin's face of concentration. He laughed to himself when watching the tip of Justin's tongue licked the corner of his mouth, his eyes still fixated on the small screen.
Justin sat with his feet pulled up under him, his shirt long removed with just a wifebeater and raggedy designer jeans to cover his body. Somewhere in the time Brian had disappeared, he managed to slip on a backwards cap over his buzzed hair and had a bottled water sitting to the side of him. His phone was vibrating next to him but Justin wasn't bothering to reach for it.
"You know you're missing a call," Brian stated, opting to find a seat on the floor near the couch. He stretched again before pulling his legs up Indian style.
"It's just the ex," Justin replied nonchalantly while still keeping his eyes focused on the SideKick.
"Britney?" Brian questioned with a quirked eyebrow. He squirmed a little when Justin looked up, his brow lowered and lips pursed.
"Cameron," Justin sung out, eyes speedily returning to the SideKick after the name left his lips.
Brian's own brow became wrinkled. He was aware of Justin Timberlake's relationship with Cameron Diaz. Brian wasn't too aloof that he didn't know some of the happenings in the celebrity world. Even taking time away to record a Christian album didn't stop Leigh Anne from making him watch late night reruns of Access Hollywood from time to time. But Brian wasn't aware of Justin's fragmentation of their relationship.
"Don't ask," Justin added, eyes catching the way Brian stared off into nothing. He chewed his bottom lip before dropping his SideKick next to his phone on the couch. He untucked his feet from under him and brought his knees up, hugging his legs so that they pressed to his chest. He just smiled when Brian looked at him and nodded.
"Besides, aren't you the married one?"
Brian hoped he didn't cringe when the question was asked. He took a brisk look at Justin and thankfully he showed no signs of further curiosity. But he knew more questions would come because he was busy playing with his wedding ring once more, continuous thoughts of removing drifting through his head.
"The married one?" Brian inquired. "You do know Kevin's married as well."
"You know you guys all have a role in the Backstreet Boys," Justin laughed out. "There's the old one, the rehab one, the Latin, and the brat that beat up Paris Hilton. Oh, and you, the married one."
Brian found himself laughing a little because apart from the fact that Justin Timberlake dared to mock his friends, he was partially right for giving each a label. He chewed the end of his thumbnail and gave Justin a thoughtful look.
"Oh, come, as if you *NSYNC guys aren't just the gay one, the other gay one, the short one, and the fat one," Brian scoffed. He caught a giggle trying to liberate itself from Justin's lips. "Oh, and you, the sex symbol."
Justin felt the blood rush his cheeks and knew he was blushing. He lifted his bottled water and began to play with the top, twisting it back and forth. He snorted out a laugh before replying, "the sex symbol huh?"
Brian ducked his head and rolled his eyes at Justin. Justin presented modesty well. Brian found that hard to deny but it made his own problems easier to cope with.
"Hey, it's better than `the married one,'" Brian jested, his laughter peeked by the way Justin continued to play with the top of his water while smirking.
"But you are the married one, right?" Justin remarked, his voice stretching on the last word. He began to chew the bottom of his lip again when Brian tensed up after his comment. Justin cursed himself because he knew he had managed to pull Brian out of that tight bubble he first saw him in when they were in the lobby.
Brian took a few looks around the room. He wasn't sure how to reply to Justin's statement. It used to be so easy. A cheerful smile and a resounding reply of "Yes." That wasn't exactly the case for him anymore. How could he be cheerful or even concur when he himself wasn't sure if he wanted to. He didn't want to see her face, even though every time he closed his eyes he did. Uttering her name would probably make his heart skip and he could already feel tiny pricks against his eyes from tears that were trying to resurface.
"No comment," Brian ultimately said with a flat voice. He watched as Justin stood from the couch, bare feet trotting by Brian with no words shared between the two during the transition.
"And I guess if I asked you why you're here, at a hotel, instead of at home you'd say," Justin inquired with a slowed voice. "Drink?"
Brian raised his eyebrow at Justin. "No comment."
"So was that a no to the drink?" Justin inquired, peeking from behind the bar in the corner of the room. He eyed Brian as he glanced over his shoulder, curious eyes taking in the way Justin stared at him.
"What do you have?" Brian questioned back. He didn't really want a drink. He honestly just wanted to lay his head down and concentrate on what he was going to do tomorrow. Maybe move out? He'd have to call his parents before they contacted Leigh Anne. Then there was Baylee. Leigh Anne might fight for him, though her obvious actions weren't apparent to him anymore.
"No beer. Nothing great," Justin responded, looking back down to the bar. He released a light smile, pulling up a clear bottle. "Rum?"
Brian nodded his reply but his attention was drawn back to the sound of Justin's phone vibrating against the couch again. He let interest overrun him and his blue eyes glanced at the name flashing on the phone. He grinned before leaning back, Justin's shadow overcastting him.
"You sure you two are no longer together?" Brian wondered.
Justin found a seat in front of Brian on the floor, his long legs stretching outward in Brian's direction. He rolled his neck while placing two shot glasses between his open legs. He quickly unscrewed the top on the bottle and poured out two shots.
"We broke up a little bit before my album came out. I needed space before I went on the road and the relationship had pretty much become old," Justin replied, swiping his phone off the couch. He clicked it off before dropping it on the floor. He cleared his throat while sliding Brian one of the glasses.
"Sorry to hear that," Brian remarked, pulling up the glass. He swished the clear liquid around, the heady scent from the liquor catching him off guard.
Justin raised his glass in Brian's direction before quickly downing the shot. He exhaled hard, the alcohol leaving a little tinge in his mouth. He stuck out his tongue and laughed lowly. "Don't be B. She got over it and it was probably for the best since my heart wasn't really in it. We stay in contact and keep up appearances so the rest of the world doesn't figure it out."
Brian nodded before gulping down his shot, the alcohol stinging the back of his throat. He tensed up a little. He felt tears sting at his eyes but he could only laugh when he spotted the way Justin smiled at him. He offered up his glass to Justin with a small grin. He planted his hands behind himself, stretching a little.
"She's a cool girl when she wants to be but more friend than anything," Justin added, pouring them both another shot. He watched the way Brian nodded, a picturesque smile still coating his thin pink lips. He handed Brian his glass while holding his up to Brian again.
Brian hesitantly took back his glass. His usually drank for pleasure but he felt like this was more to devoid his mind of his endlessly thoughts concerning his marriage. Maybe he should seek Justin's advice? He could remember the stories of Justin's relationship with Britney. He was aware of the whispers through the business that she had cheated on him several times.
"Your son's adorable," Justin noted after swallowing his shot. He saw the way he caught Brian off guard again. It only made him snort out a laugh while dropping his glass between his legs. He ran a finger around the rim of the glass while watching Brian hold up his glass.
"Thank you," Brian responded, accent heavy. His throat constricted when he swallowed down the sweet liquor again. He felt it on the back of his tongue but he didn't mind it as much. He wasn't big on drinking alcohol straight but he felt that maybe he had something to prove to Justin. "He takes after his mother."
"Really? I see more of his father in there," Justin remarked, pouring himself another shot. He watched blush speckle against Brian's cheeks and he found himself laughing again. "Then again, I never paid much attention to his mother. No offense."
Brian laughed loudly, rolling his glass toward Justin. He stretched out his own legs and permitted his feet to brush against Justin's before resting on the outside of them. "None taken trust me."
Justin chuckled softly, shaking his head at Brian. "He's got your eyes."
Brian swallowed hard, squinting his eyes at Justin because his words were a little too complimentary but still something Brian needed to hear. Something other than Leigh Anne's name or the thought of her daring to have sex with another man in their bed.
"Still don't want to talk about it?" Justin pondered, holding the glass up for Brian again. He watched as Brian stared down at his wedding ring, cautious fingers twisting at it. He didn't want to pry. He didn't want to ask too many questions because it was too late for Brian to rush out of the hotel with Baylee in search of another place to sleep. He just laid his head back against the couch and waited on Brian.
"No," Brian replied quietly, eyes lifting again. He was afraid that Justin could spot the tears that had crept back into his eyes. He briskly grabbed the glass from between Justin's fingers, some of the clear liquid tipping out and running down the glass and Brian's fingers. He swallowed it down, tongue licking out to swipe the remnants from his fingers.
Brian blinked hard, tears leaving his eyelashes damp but he refused to let them form enough to slide down his face. He could see Justin chewing the bottom of his lip, his own empty shot glass between his fingers. Justin was staring at him and he didn't know if he'd ever understand why that stare just left him speechless. He didn't have a change of subject in mind or a way to lie and creep onto the couch to fall asleep. Justin's glare wasn't permitting him.
"I'm sure you'd prefer tell Nick or the others," Justin muttered, setting his glass down by his side. He ran his hands over his jeans, nervous eyes finding something else to look at.
"No, it's not you. I don't want to talk to them," Brian stuttered out and he didn't realize how true his words were. He could've at any point excused himself to call Kevin or Nick, maybe even AJ. But he didn't want to. He didn't really want to involve anyone. Maybe that was the embarrassment or his pride but it was everything holding him back.
Brian's eyes caught an empty shot glass rolling toward him. He lifted his head to look at Justin, deep blue eyes just glaring at him while a bottom lip was tucked under teeth. Fingers tapped along the seam of jeans and a chest lifted and fell in slow motion.
"Come over here for a second," Justin requested and he prayed Brian didn't think of him as a complete psycho. He patted to the space next to him. He was able to breathe easy once Brian stopped contemplating his words and crawled over to where Justin was.
Brian hesitantly sat next to Justin, their legs barely touching as Brian stared up at the ceiling. What was he doing? He was nowhere near drunk yet he was trying to blame the alcohol for his sudden trust of Justin. He jumped a little when he felt Justin's head on his shoulder, buzzed hair prickling against his cheek. He felt Justin's arm brush against his and the sudden heat of another person next to him frightened him a little. But it was Justin. The same Justin who invited he and Baylee to stay the night. The same Justin that was slyly trying to get Brian's mind away from what was troubling him.
"It's okay sometimes to take comfort in others even though you're not as close to them as you are with the other people in your life," Justin said, eyes closed as he listened to Brian's shallow breathing. "Sometimes people are put in our paths just to provide that shoulder to lean on for a moment. Nothing owed nothing lost."
Brian didn't know why but he took severe comfort in Justin's words. He relaxed a little, let his body grow accustom to Justin leaning on him. He rested his head against the cushion of the couch and let his breathing return to normal. Oddly, it was nice to have Justin's head on his shoulder.
But then it was gone.
Justin returned to his former position, fingers still tapping at his thighs. He didn't want to look at Brian. He didn't know if he had freaked Brian out enough or had done enough to make Brian comfortable in the room. He thought to reach for his shot glass but then there was heat next to his arm. He turned his head a little just in time to catch Brian laying his head onto Justin's shoulder. Justin smiled.
Brian sighed hard, eyes beginning to well up again because this was his first opportunity to live in his thoughts. He felt an arm ease around his back and pull him a little closer. He snuggled his head to Justin's shoulder and let Justin's hand rest in the small of his back. He had not had this kind of physical support since his days with the Backstreet Boys. They mostly stuck to phone calls and random visits unless they were touring or working on an album. And even then, they weren't this close.
"She had sex with another man," Brian exhaled out, eyes closing. He flinched when he first felt it. A warm tear slipping down his cheek. He blinked his eyes rapidly to try and halt the others. "I caught them in the bed this afternoon."
Justin shook his head, squeezing his arm a little tighter around Brian. He eased his hand up and down Brian's spine, laying his head on top of Brian's.
He had heard the story once too often through the years. Whether from a female friend or from his best friend Trace, the story only changed characters, not outcomes.
"I'm really sorry B," Justin whispered, lifting the bottle of rum from between his legs. He crossed one leg over the other, his feet hooking at the ankles. He sighed softly as Brian scooted even closer.
"I just don't understand," Brian gushed, words a little strangled. He closed his eyes so another tear could slide out. He was sure they were tears of anger but he was doing an awful job at convincing his heart of that.
"No one ever does," Justin remarked.
"No, I mean I understand but I don't get what the fuck she expects to happen. It's like she's done and ready to move on but this isn't high school. We're married. We have a son," Brian lamented, raising his head a little. He breathed right into Justin's ear before leaning his forehead against the side of Justin's face. He sniffled softly, eyes shut once more.
Justin nodded, fingers tugging on the hem of Brian's shirt. Brian's breath was on his face and he didn't care. He was just trying to provide the kind of comfort he remembered receiving from his friend's when he went through his ordeal with Britney. He could only think of the way he cried on his mother's couch and how JC had to take him out to lunch everyday just so he would eat something. He couldn't imagine Brian's pain since his commitment was so much deeper.
"I think it's too early for you to try and figure it all out Brian," Justin suggested as Brian adjusted his position again so that his head was lying on Justin's shoulder. Justin just rubbed his back some more, trying to think of more comforting words. He didn't have them.
They sat for awhile, Justin's hand alternating between up and down strokes to just holding Brian's back. He felt Brian's hand slip into his lap at one point to drum fingers along his thigh like Justin had done to himself earlier. That made Justin smile. He smiled a little less when he heard Brian's lulled breathing. He knew Brian was sleep and there was no moving from their position without him waking Brian. He knew Brian needed the sleep.
Justin nuzzled his head to Brian's and sighed. He lifted his free hand and brushed back Brian's bangs. He turned his head a little and kissed Brian's forehead. He let his lips stay there for a moment, thoughts meandering between why he was doing this and what he was starting to feel somewhere in his stomach. He knew his boundaries. Brian wasn't one of the guys. He didn't grow up with Brian or even know Brian's middle name. Yet there was something inside of his calling him to be this endearing to this man. There was a greater force pulling him to hold Brian and be a trusting person in Brian's life. Maybe more.
Justin closed his eyes and tried to close off his mind to dangerous thoughts. He thought about that leather jacket he saw in one of the stores he passed today. Thought of the cheesecake he had for dessert at dinner. There was a pretty woman waiting outside of the hotel when he arrived. He wanted to buy a new set of speakers for one of his cars whenever he got the opportunity to fly back to Tennessee. He thought about the way Brian's hand felt on his thigh and the way Brian's hair smelt. He fell asleep thinking about that.
I was drifting in between, like I was
On the outside looking in
And in my dreams you are still here
Like you've always been
"Yo, are you going to wake him and the kid up?"
Justin ran a plush white towel over his neck, eyes squinting as he looked at Brian still sleep against the couch. He had managed to slip away early in the morning, the constant buzz of his SideKick waking him. He was pleased that he was unable to trouble Brian from his sleep and found himself curiously watching Brian between finding clothes to wear and hopping into the shower. He was also thrilled that Baylee remained sleep in the bed, only moving a little when Justin reentered the room.
Justin adjusting the towel around his waist and turned his attention to Lorenzo, the burly bodyguard holding open the door of the suite with a furrowed brow. He shook his head, letting the towel rest around his neck.
"Nope. Tell Annie that I'll be ready in less than thirty minutes," Justin said, taking light steps toward Brian. "I'm letting Brian and Baylee stay here while I'm gone so make sure you get Mike or Kal on watch here just in case they need anything."
He heard a huff from Lorenzo but ignored it until he heard the door shut. He grinned down at Brian, his hair disheveled and his cheeks flushed. Justin ran his fingers over his own cross tattoo, chewing his bottom lip because part of him thought to wake Brian and tell him that he was leaving for awhile. Part of him just wanted to run his hands through Brian's hair as a sign of assurance. Maybe they could talk later? Justin didn't think Brian really wanted to. Maybe he was offering more than Brian needed from him.
Justin found himself bent down until he was near Brian, a shaky hand running over Brian's ear. He sighed softly, pressing most of his weight on the front of his feet with his knees still bent and not touching the floor. He watched the way Brian breathed, the way his eyelashes occasionally fluttered against his cheek. The innocence of a broken man kept Justin's eyes on Brian's face. He took caution when Brian's cheek nuzzled to Justin's open hand.
"Leigh," Brian whispered out, eyes batting open. He was only startled slightly when he saw Justin staring down at him. He watched the way a frown tugged at Justin's lips and the view was enough to force Brian's eyes open completely.
"Hey," Justin sung out, pulling his hand back. "Uh, I have to go to a few meetings. Maybe stop by a radio station or two."
Brian nodded, trying to take in the information while not staring too hard at Justin. He took a small view of the scenery, his eyes finding Justin naked except for the towel around his waist and shoulders. He cleared his throat and tried to sit up straight.
Justin eased up into a standing position while watching Brian rub the sleep from his eyes. He tightened the towel around his waist as Brian looked up at him. He wanted to present a wider smile but he didn't want to scare Brian. Maybe Brian forgot falling asleep on Justin or cuddling closer to him during the night? Justin hoped so because it was never his intentions to become a replacement for Brian's wife or even offer himself to Brian in any form of mild interest outside of friendship. Yet he enjoyed the heat of Brian's body during the night and even found his bare hand under the back of Brian's shirt sometime during the night.
"Let me wake Baylee and we'll get out of here," Brian said, voice a little cracked as he spoke.
Justin briskly held up his hands, hoping Brian got the sign. "No, please stay. I already let security know. I'll be back in a few hours."
Brian only glared at Justin with those curious blue eyes once again pleading with him. He didn't have anywhere to go. He couldn't think of any meetings or appearances he needed to make. He had considered going home to gather a few things but he wasn't sure if he was ready to face Leigh Anne so early in the morning. He wondered did her "friend" stay with her during the night?
"Please B," Justin whined softly, pulling the towel from around his neck.
Brian stared up at Justin's chest instead of his face. He tilted his head, watched the way the muscles moved when Justin took in a deep breath. He looked at his erect nipples and then the small drop of water that slid down between his pecs. It died off before it could dribble over Justin's abs, a small strip of hair running from beneath Justin's belly down underneath the towel.
A towel hit Brian in the face and he heard a laugh from Justin echo above him. He shook the towel off and found Justin grinning at him. The blush left his cheeks hot and he prayed Justin didn't catch him staring. He didn't even know why he was staring.
"Since we've already had this argument and since you're still in my suite," Justin began.
"Your rules?" Brian finished with an inquisitive grin.
Justin smiled back. "You're learning."
The sounds of scampering and then the sight of Baylee running into the room caught Justin off guard but he only smiled at the young boy as he looked around peculiarly.
"Daddy," Baylee called out as he dashed over to Brian, hopping into his father's arms.
Justin leaned down again, a sideways grin on his lips as he looked at Baylee and Brian. "Wow, that's the first time I've heard the little guy speak."
Brian turned his attention from his son to Justin, smiling toward him. He ran his fingers through Baylee's hair, twisting them with the curls. He watched as Baylee turned his head in Justin's direction, smiling softly.
"Baylee, this is Daddy's friend Justin," Brian spoke out, lifting his son up so that he could take in a full view of Justin again.
Justin happily reached out his hand, offering it to the young boy. There was hesitance but soon a smaller hand laid into his. It only made Justin giggle.
"Say hi Baylee," Brian insisted and soon his son offered a small response to Justin.
"Hey there Baylee. You're just as cute as your Daddy," Justin chimed. He took a quick look to Brian and it seemed that shade of red was becoming a permanent fixture in Brian's cheeks. Baylee pulled his hand back and smiled when viewing his father's face.
Justin stood again, once more adjusting the towel before walking toward the bedroom. He waited in the doorway before calling out, "Call down to the front desk and order some room service for you and Baylee. Tell them to charge it to the room and don't give me a hard time about this B. I insist."
He heard a small chuckle from the living area and it made him smile. He yanked the towel from his waist and shut the door to the bedroom, his back resting against the closed door with his eyes closed. He still smiled but something inside of him was still nervous. His kindness to others was always present. It was their all his life, taught to him by his mother. Trace said sometimes he was too nice. Justin could admit that. But he couldn't admit that there was some other form of pleasure when it came to Brian. Something a little stronger, a little grander in depth. He could only rub his hands along his face and sigh.
I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn't see me
Though, I was sleeping in your bed
'Cause someone else was on your mind
And in your head
"Honey, I'm home!"
Justin's voice carried through the suite as he pushed open the door to the room. It was still early afternoon and Justin didn't know why he was so thrilled to be back at his hotel. He thought maybe to blame it on the fact that he had no more meetings for the day but since he was the one that cancelled them, he was certain it wasn't that. He didn't want it to be the prospect of seeing Brian again. Baylee, maybe. But not Brian.
He carried two bags in his hands, strolling through the living area with a grin. His eyes were secretly peeking around each corner in search of Brian or Baylee. He knew they were still there. He saw Brian's cell phone on the couch and the backpack from the previous night in the doorway to the bedroom. Maybe they were sleep in the bed?
Justin received a speedy answer when Brian stepped into the doorway of the bedroom, a small smile on his face as he dried his hands with a towel. Justin smiled back at him, a genuine one that came more natural than forced.
He tilted his head and admired Brian, the older man still wearing his clothes from the previous day. Justin had suspected that most of the things inside of the backpack were Baylee's.
"Miss me?" Justin asked with a broader grin, inching toward Brian.
Brian laughed at him before replying, "Of course. Baylee doesn't keep up with my conversations."
Justin laughed back, stopping a few feet away from Brian. He leaned back on his heels, searching for more clever words but he wasn't finding them. He hoped it wasn't because he was too busy studying the small dimples in Brian's cheeks or the way Brian's eyes seemed to be growing happier with each passing second.
"I was just letting Baylee take a quick shower," Brian remarked, his head motioning inside of the bedroom.
Justin nodded, instinctively drawing in his bottom lip to suck on. He shrugged because he wasn't sure what else to do. He felt his own crimson shade of blush speckle into his cheeks when Brian snickered at him. The laughter sounded endearing and it kept Justin from frowning.
"What ya got?" Brian inquired, pointing toward the bags.
Before Justin could reply, Baylee's voice carried into the room. "Daddy I'm all wrinkly!"
Justin laughed at the sound, watching the way Brian jumped at his son's voice. Brian joined him in the laughter, again motioning toward the bedroom. Justin followed Brian's motions, kicking off his shoes as he walked. He watched Brian slip into the bathroom as he took a seat on the bed. He dropped the bags behind him, his head tilting to spy into the bathroom. Brian left the door partially cracked and Justin could see Brian drying his son off. Brian made funny noises to pull a few giggles from Baylee but Justin found himself laughing lowly at Brian's actions. He always figured Brian would make for a caring father. It always showed it the way he took care of Nick whenever Justin was around.
"So you didn't say what's in the bag," Brian remarked, looking at Justin while remaining kneeling. He dried Baylee's hair while looking at Justin.
"Oh, just a few things for good ol' Baylee," Justin chimed, smiling. He caught the way Brian quirked his eyebrow. "Just some movies to watch on my Xbox 360 like The Incredibles,' Over the Hedge,' a little `Toy Story.'"
"'Toy Story'!" Baylee called out, pulling another chuckle from Justin.
Brian rolled his eyes, opening up a shirt for his son to slip on. He slipped Baylee's arms into before his son bellowed, "Daddy I can do it."
Brian leaned back and permitted his son to struggle with the garment, only grinning until Baylee finally slipped it on. He shook his head at Baylee before handing him a pair of pants. He stuck his tongue out at Baylee as Baylee snatched the pants away, giggling when Brian tried to grab him.
"Oh, and I got a classic for him to watch. `Weekend At Bernie's'," Justin grinned, holding up the DVD for Brian. He watched the way Brian frowned at him, forcing him to bite back his smile. "Okay, well maybe it's for me."
Brian merely shook his head, running a brisk hand over Baylee's head before standing. "Maybe I'll watch it with you later."
"Don't make any promises to me B. I'm tempted to hold you to `em," Justin said slyly, leaning back on the bed.
Baylee scurried into the room, pulling himself up on the bed. He grabbed up a few of the DVD's Justin left lying on the bed, large blue eyes staring at each with wonder.
"So by buying movies to keep my son entertained you must've thought that maybe he and I would be staying a little longer?" Brian asked curiously, slinking into the room with a lowered brow. His smile only partially remained, eyes lidded at he looked at Justin.
"Actually you're not staying," Justin replied, sitting up straight. He cleared his throat, expecting Brian's look of bemusement. "I think it's best Baylee chill here with me for a little bit and you go talk to your wife."
The immediate impact of Justin's words wasn't expected. Brian's frown was instantaneous. He looked away from Justin without another word. He blindly felt backward until his hand shut off the lights to the bathroom, eyes focused on the floor. He shuffled his feet a little. He had thought of calling her. Visiting her wasn't on his agenda. Seeing her face, dealing with her actions wasn't high on his list of life's opportunities. When he glanced up again, Justin's expression was still serious. He was intent on making Brian face his perils and part of Brian hated that.
Brian cleared his throat and wiped the sweat from his palms on his jeans. He let his head rest against the wall before looking at Baylee, his son still deeply focused on the DVD's. He rubbed his fingers along his chin, eyes daring to look at Justin again. He caught a frown on Justin's ruddy lips and he wanted to find something humorous to wipe it away. But this moment wasn't about being funny.
"He'll be fine with me, B. I won't let anything happen to him. I'm great with kids," Justin insisted, leaning forward. He rested his elbows on his knees and tapped his feet along the carpet.
"So says all the psycho babysitters," Brian joked, finally finding something comical in the tension that floated in the room. But Justin laughed with him and that might've been all Brian needed. He needed that trust with someone and he didn't know why, but he was searching for it in Justin.
Brian sighed as he eased off the wall, moving in the direction of the bed. He was consciously committing to something he knew would leave him unable to change anything in his future. He knelt down in front of his son, Baylee's eyes briefly drifting from the collection of DVD's to stare at his father. Brian could only smile for him.
"Baylee, Daddy has to go take care of a few things for a little bit. Will you be okay with Justin?" Brian asked, running delicate fingers through his son's hair. He eyed Baylee as he took quick glances between his father and Justin. A wide grin spread over Justin's face and Brian knew Justin was trying to be encouraging to the boy.
"Only if Justin promises to watch `Toy Story' first," Baylee declared, turning his head to Justin with a red pout. Brian contained his laughter and let his eyes fall on Justin who was struggling to hold in his own fit of giggles.
"I promise," Justin agreed happily, ruffling his fingers through Baylee's hair. He glanced back at Brian and gleaming blue eyes gave him the kind of comfort he needed. He gave Brian a sideways grin and found it hard to fight his stare.
"Okay, give Daddy a kiss," Brian requested, finally breaking his stare with Justin to return his attention to Baylee. His son happily obliged, leaning forward to press a quick peck to his father's cheek. Brian grinned at Baylee as his son again returned his attention to one of the DVD's but it was a brief lived moment.
"Wait Daddy," Baylee called out as Brian stood from the bed. Brian looked down at him curiously. "You didn't give Justin a kiss."
Brian was sure all the color that was once in his face had drained. He was certain that his hands were shaking and his heart was fluttering far faster than a normal human heart. His eyes were wide and if his tongue didn't click against his teeth, he would've believed that his mouth was hanging open. He was just left staring at Baylee. He couldn't comprehend at how to respond to his son's demand. He dared not to look at Justin.
"You know Baylee, I don't know if that's such a good..."
Justin's words were cut short. He was beginning to stand from the bed, attempt to walk away but Brian's hand was lightly gripping his arm and he couldn't help but turn his head toward Brian with a raised brow. It wasn't that Brian was hurting him but the concept that Brian was attempting to stop him from preventing another awkward moment between the two was beyond reason.
"It's okay," Brian whispered and he knew Baylee was watching them with interest hiding fear. He couldn't get Justin to nod a reply and he feared maybe crossing boundaries were beyond them at that point.
Justin was just frozen there. He stood with wide eyes slowly becoming normal, dilated pupils returning to their transfixed state. He felt Brian's grip finally loosen and then disappear, the older man still looking at Justin for some sign of trust. Justin merely returned to his seated position on the bed, eyes never leaving the shorter man.
"Daddy, a kiss goodbye," Baylee fussed and Brian was already nodding, kneeling some to get a better angle. He chewed the inside of his lip and hoped Justin would fall out of his shocked demeanor. He could only shake his head at Justin, rubbing nervous fingers over Justin's shoulder.
Then Brian caught it. A small smile and a turn of the cheek, permitting Brian access to what he needed to escape this situation. He sighed under his breath, leaning in again until his breath brushed against Justin's available cheek. He spotted Justin chewing on his bottom lip before his eyes closed and thin lips pressed against a scruffy cheek. He felt the small hairs of Justin's trimmed beard. He kept his lips there for what he thought were seconds until he heard a giggle from Baylee. His eyes shot open and he began to pull away.
"Thank you Daddy," Baylee cheered, hands cupping over his mouth after he finished speaking.
Brian nodded but didn't get far away from Justin before Justin's head turned, their noses rubbing against each other. Brian smiled goofily and Justin returned the grin, unsure fingers petting the fabric of Brian's shirt. Brian didn't calculate Justin taking a risk, the latter reaching up and laying a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. He stumbled back a little, apparent shock warping his features but leaving him little room to smirk at Justin. Blush frolicked against Justin's cheeks and Brian did let a smile creep out, his hands sliding into the back of his jeans as he glared at Justin with that goofy grin tangled in his expression.
"If you stay away too long, I'm watching `Weekend At Bernie's' without you," Justin warned him, still holding that grin.
Brian nodded at Justin, nervously moving toward the door. He tried not to hold a stare with Justin for too long but that wasn't possible. Their eyes were on each other and Brian started to question himself before he could even escape the bedroom. Where were those butterflies coming from? Why was he agreeing to return to Justin, to spend more time with a man he knew only through passing and one he was finding himself habitually fascinated with? He was trusting this man enough to take care of his son. And suddenly, he wasn't thinking too much of Leigh Anne or the marriage he could already feel slipping away.
When I came back, she wasn't there
Just a note left on the stairs:
"If you wanna talk, give me a call."
Brian did stay away a little too long. He blamed himself. His initial conversations with Leigh Anne were heavy on fussing and little on discussion. She threw things, he cursed, she pleaded, he packed a few of Baylee's things. She attempted to explain herself but again the words didn't mingle together like he thought they should. Where was her concern for their family? Where was the purpose in sleeping with another man, one that she confessed to be seeing for nearly a month.
Then there was her sly attempts on trying to make it his fault. He cried when that occurred because part of him believed he let his career once again take him away from where he needed to be. But the truth didn't lie so much in that as much as it did in the fact that her lack of a career caused her to focus her attention elsewhere.
Brian had sat on the steps for about an hour. Leigh Anne had called her parents, tried to get Brian to talk to them but he had refused. There was mention of letting them take care of Baylee until the situation was resolved but Brian again denied her. He just sat, one of Baylee's stuff animals in one hand with biting tears attacking his eyelids. It wasn't his pride that held in the tears while sitting on those steps. It was his inability to keep his thoughts from keeping on a steady trend.
She tried to hug him when she was leaving. He was leaning against his car, head down with tears still trying to force their way out. He declined her. He just waved her off and he thought he caught her flipping him off. That wasn't like Leigh Anne but he didn't know what was anymore. He just let her leave, probably driving to see that man. She was driving in one the cars Brian purchased her. She would probably bring him back to the house that Brian and she shared, once shared. He didn't care. He just let a few tears finally slip from his eyes, staring up at the sky. His confusion was overwhelming and he couldn't find the strength to rush back to that hotel and deal with it all.
"Can't be that bad."
Brian looked up at D when the larger man spoke to him. He was standing to one side of the hallway, a suitcase to his side while his eyes had been busy watching his own feet. He tried to smile for D but it came out as a fumbled pout. He let D study him because that's all he could do for him. He couldn't really offer words or a kind joke, something Brian was known for.
"Man, the kid takes care of folks. You're in a great suite, all sorts of privacy, and Timberlake ain't gon' let you be unhappy," D added, presenting Brian a blossoming smile.
"Takes care of folks?" Brian asked, easing toward D. He let D pop open the door but his hesitation in entering was showing.
"Not like that, I mean," D quickly affirmed, holding the door open for Brian. "That dumbfuck has a big heart, that's all. I can tell he cares about you, maybe more than you realize."
Brian nodded, easing past D to slip into the room. He trusted D's smile and the way the man was frank with him. His head was still somehow focused on the way his marriage to Leigh Anne was quickly falling to one conclusion.
He couldn't stay with Justin forever. Justin wasn't staying forever. He couldn't hide behind this facade that he could hide away in the living area of Justin's suite until he figured out where his mind was headed, and most importantly, his heart.
The sounds of laughter drew Brian to the bedroom once he dropped his suitcase in the living area. It was late but he knew the sound of his son's wild laughter from any room. He peeked into the room, both Justin and Baylee sprawled out, on their stomachs, across the bed. Their focus was on the television nearby, both lost in the view of the movie.
Brian spied around the room from the doorway. He spotted boxes of food across the floor, some opened and devoured while a few others remained closed. He tapped his fingers along the doorframe, watching the way Baylee was tucked under one of Justin's arms, still smiling at the movie. Brian couldn't help but smile at his son, leaning his head against the doorframe. There was a peace about Baylee. Something so comfortable in the way that he laid next to Justin that almost scared Brian.
His thoughts ran from him when he took a glance to Justin and found the younger man staring back at him, an inquisitive grin skating over his ruddy lips. He supported his chin on his knuckles, long lashes batting as he lowered his brow at Brian. Brian was certain there were questions on Justin's mind and a few were written into his expression.
Brian sighed softly and eased into the room. He watched Justin unsettle himself from his position, pushing up until he was kneeling on the bed with Baylee looking around curiously. Justin adjusted his wifebeater before dropping his hands to his sides, waiting on a word from Brian.
"Daddy's back," Baylee chimed in before Brian could speak. He sat up quickly, arms extended for his father.
Brian strolled into the room, finding a place on the bed to sit next to Baylee. He smiled when Baylee's arms latched around his neck, one of his own arms raising to half-hug his son. He took a quick glance at Justin over Baylee's shoulder, exhaling lowly when Justin offered him a miniature smirk.
"I, uh, ordered us some dinner. We had pizza for lunch," Justin noted, easing into a seated position on the bed. "Saved you some dinner."
Brian nodded, a smile naturally spreading across his lips. He pulled Baylee into his lap while looking at Justin. He didn't know why, but he thought to reach out and run his fingertips along the prickles of Justin's hair. He mentally withdrew.
"Where's mommy at?" Baylee asked and it was enough to make both Justin and Brian lose their smiles.
Brian sighed heavily, running a hand over Baylee's back. He squeezed his eyes shut and permitted Baylee to run his hands over his hair. The touches were once so comforting but now they kept him focus. Were the tears already beginning to blur his vision?
"I have a few calls to make. You know, plans to put together and," Justin let the words singsong from his lips as he stood and stumbled toward the door. He avoided the looks he knew he was getting from Baylee. He just watched the way Brian hollowed out his cheeks and wished he could provide some sort of support for him. He knew he couldn't. He just nodded and exited the room, quietly shutting the door.
Justin mainly ignored his phone. He took a call from his mother, Trace, and replied to a couple of text messages. He didn't even bother to grab his SideKick from the bar. He just let it vibrate continuously, his fingers rubbing his temples as he sat on the couch. He tapped his bare feet against the carpet, wanting desperately to make sure Baylee and Brian hadn't completely fallen apart in the bedroom. He remained on the couch, slumped over with his elbows on his knees and his eyes shut.
The weight shifted on the couch and Justin felt a foot brush against his calf as it was pulled up on the couch. He immediately straightened up, his head turning in the direction of the newly found heat near his body. His eyes glared at Brian, studying his face without reservation. He could see the redness in Brian's eyes, the puffiness below them, and the ruddy color of his nose. He listened as Brian sniffled quietly and tried to smile for Justin.
"He cried himself to sleep," Brian said with a choked voice. He chewed on his thumbnail as Justin openly stared at him. He wasn't sure what else to say. He could feel the stress in his shoulders as he tried to roll them and get comfortable on the couch. His feet were tucked under him and his leg shook nervously.
"From experience," Justin began, a hand sincerely dropping onto Brian's thigh. He gave it a light squeeze and Brian stopped shaking. "He's going to be fine."
Brian nodded and did his best to swallow the lump in his throat. He pulled his feet from under himself and pulled his thighs to his chest, unknowingly scooting closer to Justin. He fiddled with his wedding ring, eyes almost scared to look up into Justin's blue ones again.
"Hey," Justin whispered, leaning in Brian's direction. His fingers tipped Brian's chin upward until their eyes met. He proposed a smile for Brian, holding his chin while trying to hold Brian's attention. "This shoulder's available if you want it."
Brian laughed lowly. It was just that genuine nature in Justin that rebounded him from his own devastating thoughts. He scratched the end of his nose and leaned toward Justin with intent. He giggled again when his head met Justin's shoulder. He let Justin rest his chin on Brian's temple, sighing quietly while Justin's arm slinked around his back.
"I guess you don't have enough experience to know whether or not I'm going to be fine, huh?" Brian questioned, finally twisting the ring off of his finger. He let it rest in his palm for a moment, closing his fingers around it. He felt the hairs of Justin's goatee scrap against his head as Justin pulled him in closer.
"Hey, you're here with me B. I think you're doing pretty fine already," Justin joked, fingers massaging the small of Brian's back.
"Can't complain," Brian retorted with another quiet snicker. He wasn't sure but he welcomed Justin's other hand closing around his, keeping the ring firmly planted in his palm.
Justin leaned his head on Brian's, taking in a sharp inhale. He could smell strawberries and tears. It was funny because he never knew the scent of a tear before Brian.
"Did you take a shower?" Justin asked, nuzzling his nose into Brian's blonde hair. He listened as Brian snorted.
"Yeah, earlier," Brian responded. He watched the way Justin's larger hand looked against his own. "Hope you don't mind."
"Can't complain about healthy hygiene," Justin giggled, lifting his head while Brian tried to snuggle closer to his shoulder. He welcome the warmth.
"Thank you," Brian whispered. He tilted his head up, his catching Justin's bottom lip being taken in. He brushed a finger around Justin's chin and lifted his head from Justin's shoulder.
"You do that a lot," Brian whispered, fingers tracing up until his index finger brushed against one of Justin's teeth. It crept up and traced a line along Justin's upper lip as Justin looked down at him.
"Only when I'm thinking, concentrating," Justin whispered back, releasing his lower lip. Brian's finger immediately found Justin's bottom lip and traced it. "Or nervous."
Brian leaned up a little more, his body reacting to things he was sure his mind had not yet thought out. His face remained expressionless as his thumb played with Justin's bottom lip. It brushed against Justin's tongue when Justin wet his lips and he added softly, "what's there to be nervous about?"
Justin turned his head a little more, his nose brushing against Brian's cheek. He let his breath coat Brian's face. He should've withdrawn his hand. He could already feel the sweat from his palm slicking against Brian's knuckles. Why were they that close?
"You tell me."
Justin's words were a dare against Brian's face. He lowered his thumb from Justin's lip and wet his own lips. There was no rum in his system. He had somehow managed to forget everything, including his wife's name. His head was tilting a little higher and Justin's warmth was overtaking him. He aligned his body until they were nose to nose, eyes watching each other from a close distance. He didn't know why his lips were so close to Justin's, but his mind stopped telling him to retreat.
"Don't make me a rebound," Justin whispered, his brow lowering. It was a warning.
Brian nodded, his forehead pressing against Justin's. He already knew what Justin meant and didn't understand why he was agreeing to something that was so foreign and forbidden to him.
"I've never wanted to," Brian started, unsure of how to phrase all of his thoughts.
"Me neither," Justin added quickly, his hand finally releasing its hold on Brian's. He thought he heard the sound of the gold ring hitting the floor but he was too overcome with the melody floating through his head when Brian's lips finally tentatively rubbed against his own. His fingers glided upward until they rested against Brian's jawline. He felt the jaw tense up when Justin hesitantly returned the kiss. He smiled mentally, stroking the soft skin until Brian relaxed again, permitting Justin to further the kiss.
Brian danced his fingers along Justin's collarbone. He felt Justin's other hand creep behind his head and play through his hair as he alternated the kiss. Brian shuffled with the movement, lips moving quicker and without abandon. He breathed Justin in, his tongue licking at Justin's teeth as the younger man pressed closer to him. His fingers gripped Justin's wifebeater, pulling at it before just holding it as Justin slowed their kiss.
Brian's eyes blinked open, watching the way Justin's watched his. He felt Justin's teeth tug at his bottom lip and he didn't care. He just kept kissing, letting his bruised lips taste what they could. He saw Justin saw and he smiled against Justin's lips, leaving another quick kiss.
"This is crazy B," Justin whispered, pulling back some. He continued to string his fingers through Brian's blonde hair.
"My son's sleep in the other room," Brian said and he didn't know why. He just felt the need to remind Justin.
"We're we supposed to watch a movie?" Justin asked, teeth nipping at Brian's jaw. His fingers became a little possessive on Brian's head, trying to keep him close as he spoke.
"Something about Bernie or whatever," Brian replied, lips dipping back down until they met Justin's.
"We're kissing," Justin laughed against Brian's lips, pressing a peck to them.
"I think my foot's asleep," Brian remarked, twisting one of Justin's nipples through his wifebeater.
"Yo, we're kissing," Justin said again, pulling back some. He looked into Brian's satin blue eyes and understood the avoidance. He kept a smile painted on his lips and leaned in again. "I'm kissing you."
Brian nodded, let Justin's tongue lick at his bottom lip before their lips met again. He accepted Justin's lips, fingers untangling themselves from Justin's wifebeater. They eased up to Justin's shoulders, pushing him backward. Brian, without much thought, felt himself trying to crawl into Justin's lap.
Justin permitted Brian to scoot into his lap, thighs trapping Justin's own.
He pulled at Brian's shirt until it escaped his body, dropping it behind Brian as he reached in for another kiss. He captured Brian's lips and a moan that tried to seep through as Justin's fingers crawled up his ribs. He laughed into the kiss, Brian's fingers pulling up his wifebeater.
"Is this good?" Justin asked, pulling back and allowing Brian to pull the garment from his body. His fingers quickly returned to Brian's body, soft skin bending and molding under his fingertips.
"Better," Brian moaned back, fastening another kiss to Justin's lips. His tongue played across Justin's bottom lip and a shiver rolled up his spine as Justin's thumbs played with his nipples. He arched into the touch, hands running over Justin's buzzed hair. He felt Justin's short nails rake against his back as Justin swallowed another one of his moans.
Brian sighed pleasantly as Justin's mouth worked over his neck. He exhaled heavily above Justin's head, fingers running over Justin's ears, his cheeks, his chin. He was hard and so was Justin. He could feel Justin's erection bumping into that space in his jeans below the zipper. When did a man ever give him an erection? He thought of Justin's words from earlier. This wasn't about rebounding. It couldn't be because somewhere in his dreams last night he thought of kissing Justin. He had tried to ignore that thought for most of the day but it was hard to now when Justin's lips were sucking on his collarbone and his hands were rubbing against Brian's jean-covered thighs.
His body froze immediately when one of Justin's hands toyed with the button of his jeans. That was a territory he was sure they were supposed to cross if he was sitting in Justin's lap trying to suck the air from his mouth but it still shook him.
"Brian?"
Brian exhaled hard, eyes closed because he feared looking down at Justin. Fingers tapped along his belly and he took in his own lower lip, chewing on it. There was a kiss at his jaw and a hand massaging his lower back. He reached back and grabbed the hand from his back, pulling it forward and interlocking their fingers. His eyes batted open and he moved backward and off of Justin.
"It's okay, I can stop," Justin rushed to say, watching as Brian stood straight while still holding his hand.
Brian shook his head at Justin, finally letting his eyes fall on the younger man. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and tried to collect his words. He couldn't. He merely pulled at Justin's hand and hoped the action was enough.
Justin followed suit, eyes focused on Brian's as he stood from the couch. He chewed on his lip, fingers trying to stay loose in Brian's hold. He looked down at Brian and sighed softly, not wanting an end but understand if it followed.
Brian smiled for Justin. He let his eyes drift over Justin's bare chest, the rise and fall still as swift as it was during their kissing. Justin's cargo shorts tented toward him and Brian felt his smirk grow. He was finding it hard to stand so casually when his own erection was tangling itself in his jeans.
Brian released Justin's hand from its grip. He stood on his toes, reaching up and leaning forward to press a kiss to Justin's mouth. He felt Justin welcome it, slowly falling back into their previous groove. He felt Justin's hands latch onto his waist and hold him steady as his own fingers tugged at the button of Justin's shorts.
"Off," Brian whispered against Justin's lips, pulling back just a little to nuzzle his nose against Justin's. He pulled again at the button, tugging at the waistband and it didn't take long for one of Justin's hands to join his and unbutton the shorts. Brian peeled the garment down, along with Justin's boxers, as Justin fiddled with the button on Brian's jeans again.
"You sure?" Justin questioned when the fly of Brian's jeans unzipped.
"Don't ask silly questions," Brian requested, stepping back to pull the shorts and boxers until they reached Justin's knees. He yanked at his own clothes until they reached the middle of his thighs. "Just be Justin."
Justin nodded, shaking out of the rest of his clothes as Brian did the same. He grabbed Brian's hands and pulled him forward until they were pressed together. He shivered at the feel of Brian's erection pressing against the side of his stomach. He breathed in Brian while turning them until Brian's back was to the couch.
"Just be B," he requested, easing Brian back until the back of his knees touched the couch. He kissed Brian's forehead before adding, "and let me do this."
Justin thought he'd have to push down on Brian's shoulders to emphasize what he wanted but Brian dropped down onto the couch willingly. Maybe it was the surprise, but Justin wanted to believe part of it was anticipation. He knew that's what it was for him. He was anticipating something he had never thought to do before. When in all of his times with Britney, Cameron, Alyssa, hell Jenna, had he thought of being with a man? A good portion of his sexual adulthood was spent around four other men and he never once thought of approaching them in a sexual way.
He rolled his tongue across his lips, expectation leaving a thick taste in his mouth. He laughed to himself as he ran his hands over Brian's chest. His thumb ran down a small scar in the center of Brian's chest. Was Brian keening?
Justin rested his knees on the edge of the couch in-between Brian's spread legs. He gave a small tug to one of Brian's nipples and shook with Brian when Brian cupped his balls. One of Brian's hands encircled his cock and gave it a light squeeze, one that rippled from Justin's center to the rest of him. He exhaled heavily, looking down at the sight of his throbbing erection, flushed red against Brian's pale hand.
"Won't finish the race if you wear me out in the starting gates," Justin whispered, eyes looking up to find Brian staring at him. He was sure the red hue in his cock was flushing his cheeks.
"I thought we already started the race," Brian whispered back, smiling artfully. He leaned up and forward to press a quick kiss on Justin's parted lips. He gave Justin's cock a few more tugs, palm feeling the slickness of Justin's precum.
"Why are we talking about racing," Justin panted at Brian, eyes half open as he watched Brian sit back on the couch. His own hands ran down Brian's sides until they reached his thighs, sliding inward and pulling Brian's legs further apart.
"You started it," Brian whispered back, still holding Justin.
"Then let me return to what I really started," Justin requested with a grin, easing back until he slid out of Brian's grip. He fell to his knees because that's where he wanted to be but the weakness after Brian's touches was slowly assisting him in that endeavor. His head spun a little and he watched the uncertainty coast over Brian's face. He swallowed hard and let his hands slide up and forward until they met with the vee in Brian's legs. He had to wipe away that fear.
Justin pushed aside the raging thoughts that began to invade his mind. His hands reached up and grasped Brian's erection, mind tilting when Brian shivered and spread his legs even further. He quickly swooped down and extended the tip of his tongue, eyes closing for the first taste. He let his tongue roll over the head. He didn't vomit or cringe. He kind of liked it or more so liked the way Brian moaned something in the back of his throat. He continued to flick a few licks over the head just to see if Brian would release that moan. It held steady.
He was tentative when he took the head into his mouth. He flattened his tongue against the underside and applied a little suction. There was a tight sigh, one that burned from Brian's chest and Justin smiled around the erection. He lowered himself, his mouth willingly welcoming the cock into his mouth. It didn't taste bad, but then again, Justin didn't have much to compare it to. He thought it was best not to compare at all as his mouth rose and fall just as Brian's chest did.
Brian inhaled sharply, his body naturally wanting to thrust into Justin's mouth. He controlled himself, a hand on his hip assisting him from lifting from the couch. His hands gripped at the edge of the couch, fear of placing them on Justin's head encouraging him. He couldn't scare the younger man away but that slickness, the wet warm sensation Justin's mouth was creating made his leg shake and his eyes struggle to remain open. But he watched Justin. Watched the way Justin's tongue curled around the head before lapping at it. He watched the way Justin watched him and strangely enough, that turned him on.
"Ah," Brian gasped out when Justin eased back down onto his cock. There was a little more saliva this time, a little more patience in the technique and Brian wondered if Justin always learned this quickly? Justin had to be inexperienced because there were a few uncomfortable rakes of teeth but nothing Brian wasn't willing to become adjusted to.
Brian trembled when Justin's fingers began to draw patterns across the skin of his stomach. Was Justin trying to ease his tenseness? He sensed it because Justin's mouth wasn't on him anymore but his hand was lazily petting his erection. Justin was looking at him. Brian felt the heat of Justin's hand spreading through his lower body and his eyes were wide as he looked at Justin. He lifted his hand and casually wiped Justin's mouth. It was a small gesture but one that brought an assuring smile to Justin's face.
"Continue?" Justin questioned, his index finger running down the underside of Brian's cock. He felt it twitch and pulsate. His finger crawled back up, his nail scraping against the hard skin. He dabbed at the clear liquid that was beginning to pool at the tip.
"Please," Brian stuttered out, slouching further on the couch. He heard Justin giggle and he knew he must've looked foolish. He was a poodle of liquid before Justin and all he could do was hiss when Justin's mouth made contact with his erection again. He tried to watch the way Justin's head bobbed but the sensation running through him forced him to close his eyes.
"Justin," Brian groaned, head tilted back with his mouth hanging open. A tongue traced a pretty pattern across his shaft and he finally bucked. He couldn't help it. He was relieved when Justin groaned softly and took him back in, moving a little faster and sucker a little harder.
Brian didn't know why he didn't notice one of Justin's fingers casually playing around his entrance. His face was scrunched up and his breathing wasn't regulated. He was too busy listening to the soft slurp and the occasional nip at the head as drawing him closer to Justin's mouth and further from reality.
Brian did notice when a wet finger began to press against his hole. He didn't stiffen up. He exhaled a little harder, spread his legs a little further but he didn't back away. It was a curious action to himself but he wasn't putting too much focus into it. He batted his eyes open and watched the way Justin's face was full of concentration as he sucked and attempted to gain entrance. Brian relaxed enough for it and hiss softly when the finger began to crawl inside of him.
"Oh," Justin gasped, lips removed from Brian's cock. His eyes were trying to peer down and watch the way his middle finger was disappearing inside of Brian.
Brian made a whimpering noise because he was painfully hard, feeling new sensations as Justin fingered him, and trying to wrap his mind around everything in one shallow breath.
"Nice," Justin said softly, grinning before lapping at the head of Brian's cock again. He laughed around Brian's penis because Brian was slowly beginning to work himself onto the finger, every upward slope pushing his cock further into Justin's mouth and every downward pull pushing himself right back onto that finger.
Brian panted roughly, eyes still open but staring straight ahead. He couldn't look at Justin anymore and he didn't know how he was managing to last this long during a blowjob? His hands were on Justin's shoulders and the slow insertion of another finger made him lurch forward and he swore because he didn't mean to choke Justin. But Justin refused to release his cock from the wetness of his mouth.
"You," Brian gasped out, one leg lifting until his knee was bent and a foot rested on the couch. He ground down onto the two fingers while Justin licked at his balls. His bottom lip trembled and he knew he wouldn't finish his sentence.
Justin let his tongue run over the stumble of hair on Brian's balls. He inhaled Brian's scent, took a quick glance down to watch his fingers twist and then scissor inside of Brian. He heard somewhere, probably some random discussion that Lance and JC had once, that some men liked this sensation when getting head. Justin never asked anyone to do it to him before. He thought once of drifting down there when jerking off one day but opted out because just the thought made him bite the back of his hand and come.
"You," Brian heaved out again, a hand scrambling until it found Justin's chin. He cupped it and almost laughed at the way Justin kept trying to lick the head of his cock as Brian squeezed his chin. He almost had the words out when Justin dug a little deeper, hit something, and everything inside of him liquefied. He bit back a moan because Baylee was still sleep in the bedroom and this was a scene he definitely didn't want to explain to his son.
"You should see how hot you look," Justin remarked, pressing into Brian a little harder. He admired Brian's flushed cheeks, small beads of sweat forming around his brow. His eyes were lidded and his mouth hung open, a tongue presing against teeth as he stifled another moan.
"You," Brian whispered, his voice catching a higher octave as Justin twisted again. He controlled himself for only a moment but it was enough for him to add, "inside me."
Justin froze. It wasn't a momentary freeze. His fingers stopped moving, his heart missed a few beats, and his eyes were locked on Brian. He couldn't do anything. The only thing that did move was his erection as the idea seemed to agree pleasantly with the lower half of him.
Brian carefully rubbed Justin's chin, leaning forward. He sighed softly as he lifted himself from Justin's fingers, easing until he sat on the edge of the couch and his face was directly in front of Justin's. He licked his tongue out and traced the corner of Justin's mouth. He kissed him there.
"I want this," Brian whispered, breath heavy against Justin's face. He kissed at Justin's lips, hoping for a reaction.
"But B, I don't.. I don't have," Justin muttered between kisses, falling into that trance again.
"Baby lotion in the suitcase," Brian quickly said, still pecking at Justin's lips.
"No condoms," Justin whispered back, inclining toward Brian. He combed fingers through Brian's soft hair for comfort.
"And you're how old? Don't tell me you've already left your sexual prime," Brian snickered, still kissing. He felt Justin draw back and he knew immediately his words weren't taken in the form of a joke. He sighed and grabbed the back of Justin's head, preventing him from straying. "Don't worry about it."
Justin arched an eyebrow, still letting Brian leave dainty kisses against his mouth. He tried to kiss back but his thoughts were hampering his actions.
"This is going to be hard to take from me considering my current situation," Brian whispered, pulling back. He let Justin's hand drop to his shoulder, fingers dancing across the tattoo on his arm. He smiled contentedly, thumb swiping across Justin's lower lip before it could be sucked in. "I trust you Justin. I trust you so bad right now that if I think about it too long my heart is going to hurt and my head is going to spin."
And then Brian woke up. Or he thought he did because he had managed to pull his mind completely from where he was to avoid thinking about the head of Justin's cock rubbing politely against his hole. But he was never sleep.
He was sure he had blanked out for a moment but in reality he probably closed his eyes a little too long. Probably from fear because he had second thoughts for a moment.
His words had encouraged Justin enough to lean up and kiss him and slink away to grab the suitcase. When Justin leaned back against the couch, hands scrambling through clothing and other articles to find the lotion, Brian merely giggled. He kissed at Justin's freckled shoulders and let his hands dance along the cherub tattoo just below the back of Justin's neck. Justin eventually found the lotion and Brian snickered against the top of Justin's head because there was a slight smile tugging at the corners of Justin's lips but he refused to show it.
When Justin turned his head, Brian knew it was to ask for some assurance and he merely kissed the corner of Justin's mouth before the words could be freed. He didn't want to hear the words, just know they existed. It was enough to keep Justin silent.
When Justin laid Brian back on the couch, it was only to kiss him. Brian was expecting more but didn't drift away from the kissing. He lingered in it. Ran his hands across Justin's back, felt the muscles in his shoulders, traced the hair on Justin's thighs. He gasped against Justin's lips and remembered why he was welcoming the thought of exploring a new thought in his head. He arched up into Justin. rolled his hips so that their erections bumped and ground together for awhile. He trembled under Justin when a slick finger presented itself against his hole again and wiggled until the digit slipped in, sighing happily when that stinging feeling drifted away.
And then there he was. Long moments of lazy kissing, heated exchanges of tongue, soft cries against each other's bruised lips, and he was on his back, legs spread with Justin lining his cock up with his entrance. Justin was holding him by the calves and he thought maybe taking Justin's suggestion of trying to do it in a sitting position so that Brian could control the rate at which he took Justin might've been a wiser idea. But he just blinked his eyes a few times and inhaled deep when he felt Justin's slick penis begin its journey inside.
"Mmph," Brian exhaled out. He knew the head had penetrated him and he wasn't sure he was paying much attention earlier to how thick Justin's erection really was. He stared at the ceiling instead of paying attention to Justin. He could hear the faint sound of Justin questioning his state, but Brian couldn't answer truthfully.
"Does it hurt Brian?" Justin asked, easing a little more inside with a face of patience and a mind falling into nirvana. The heat, the tightness of Brian was enclosing around him and he wondered how he was breathing and keeping a straight face while looking down at Brian.
"Answer your own question silly," Brian managed to get out, an offsetting giggle following because, again, he knew Justin took his statement the wrong way. He tilted his chin down so that he could look at Justin.
Justin's tongue was licking at the corner of his mouth and he wasn't really moving, just remaining still. Brian was thankful because the burn was definitely ringing in his head and it wasn't that he was just uncomfortable; he was still horny. Justin's fingers were tickling the back of Brian's knee and, fuck, Brian wanted a little more. He whimpered softly and tried to scoot back and take more of Justin inside.
"Oh," Justin gasped quietly, watching the way Brian worked himself onto his cock. He was at a loss but another keen from Brian reminded him and he slowly began to sink into Brian again. He eased in until he was nestled against Brian's ass and the tight breathing from below him stopped him from chewing his lip. He kissed the arch of Brian's foot, resting for a moment because his own breathing didn't sound regulated and the sight of his pubic hair crushed against Brian's ass was intoxicating.
"We're good?" Justin finally asked, looking down at Brian. Brian's eyes were closed but there was a sudden expression of happiness warping his face.
Those chiseled cheeks were hollowing out and then pushing upward into a small grin. Justin grinned back.
Brian swiveled his hips a little and rocked back, pleased when a gasp stuttered from Justin. He thought it was enough incentive for Justin to continue because now his own erection was aching against his belly and his eyes were batting open. He stared into deep blue eyes and arched his back as Justin laid down on him, finding another angle to slowly stroke inside of him.
Justin started with shallow strokes, letting Brian adjust as he panted above him. He let Brian curl his legs around his back and gripped Brian's hips, finding the right leverage to stroke that heat right around the head of his cock. He squeezed his eyes shut as he picked up the pace, hips swift but measured.
"Fuck," Brian gasped, head dropping back against the couch. He felt Justin's lips burning against his collarbone, leaving invisible stains of passion that Brian longed for. He arched his back a little more and tensed up as Justin's nails dug into his hip.
"Baby," Justin groaned lowly, breath hot against Brian's neck as he began to move a little deeper. He could feel Brian trying to meet him with each inward thrust and it only purged him on. He was pulling Brian up and that was definitely a deeper angle that he liked.
Brian felt the room spinning but he enjoyed it in some amusing way. He let his hands find Justin's shoulders, find purchase so that he could work himself onto Justin's cock. He felt Justin spreading his legs a little and he didn't know how they were both fitting on the couch but he didn't care as long as Justin's cock managed to keep hitting that spot that made colors sparkle behind his eyes.
"Good," Justin crooned, slowing his pace some to enjoy the moment. Part of him was still young, an urgent need to find release rather than think of the repercussions. Being this deep inside of Brian, fucking him into the couch with no abandon felt great but he didn't know where that left him when he did reach his orgasm. Was it over then? The thoughts made his next few strokes a struggle but Brian was encouraging and looking at him, staring at him with eyes that were crying with passion. Brian was a little more supportive as he pulled at Justin's neck until they were kissing and it motivated Justin to find a better rhythm to fuck Brian with.
Justin planted his hands on either side of Brian and let Brian hitch his legs up on his shoulders. Brian was a little more bendy than Justin thought and he could only grin, softer strokes hitting deep in Brian. Justin tried to swallow all of Brian's moans because he didn't need Baylee waking up or security breaking through the door to see why Brian Littrell was making such breathy noises so late in the night.
"Better than good," Brian gasped out, blindly reaching out and grabbing Justin's hips. He pulled Justin completely in, grinding himself back and onto Justin's cock. His breathing had slowed a little but the sensations were overwhelming, He swallowed desperately for air and his eyes were open enough for him to see Justin lick the palm of his own hand. He shivered in anticipation.
"I didn't know how bad I wanted this," Justin heaved, rocking again until his pace was at an accelerated rate. He fumbled between their bodies until he grabbed Brian's cock. He circled the head, gathered the clear liquid, and worked the shaft in time with his thrusts. He leaned down until he was near Brian's ear, trying to manage all of his tasks at once. "Until I was in you. Until I was fucking you."
Brian bit his lip, groaning in his throat as Justin's words dug inside of his skin. He bucked back, almost pushing Justin back so that he could control the rate of the sex. He wanted to be on top, find that right angle where Justin hit that spot enough times that he blacked out and didn't have to think of anything else. The sweat near the small of his back made him wiggle against the couch, offsetting their pace a little.
"Ah," Brian hissed when Justin pulled at his hips to regain balance. There was another angle and Brian was certain it wasn't as deep but had Justin's cock become bigger since he first entered Brian?
"Deeper," Justin requested, returning to his former position.
"Harder," Brian pleaded, heaving breaths escaping him as he tried to encourage Justin.
"Deeper baby," Justin affirmed, reaching further into Brian, his hand steady on Brian's bouncing cock as he took longer strokes.
"Justin," Brian mewled, eyes closed because watching Justin's face had become too much. And that hand, the one that was jerking him incessantly, teasing him to the point his toes were curling and his back was aching? He was falling in love with it. He was working his hips with Justin so that he could add to the friction.
"Baby," Justin groaned back, teetering on the edge. Stamina was becoming a word he was definitely going to do a little more research on. He eased up and dipped back down, shuddering as the inward stroke pulled at his cock.
"Oh baby," Brian hissed, clutching Justin's shoulder. Every breath in his chest was getting tighter just as every time Justin fucked him into the couch, his body became a little weaker. He bit his lower lip in the way he knew Justin did and forgot that he was supposed to let go. He just let a groan strip raw at the back of his throat and everything seemed to turn a little paler.
Justin echoed the moan when he felt the wetness on his hand. He pulled and tugged at the throbbing erection, satisfied with the way the come slicked between his fingers and made the slickness between his palm and Brian's shaft so much more satisfying. Brian's legs were lowering and Justin knew Brian had to be sore but he couldn't stop his pelvis from still working those short jabs into Brian. He eased deep and lost his breath, his own cock ejaculated unexpectedly inside of Brian. He managed a gasp and his fingers were digging into the cushion below Brian as he shuddered above him.
His back coiled and he fucked the last few shivers into Brian.
"Sorry... so sorry," Justin panted out, eyes still closed as his body stopped moving and he just rested inside of Brian. A hand petted his cheek and he ducked his head to look at Brian. Brian was smiling at him sincerely but it didn't stop him from repeating, "sorry."
Brian nodded and eased the hand back until he was toying with Justin's ear.
Suddenly the weight of Justin's body felt awkward but he didn't move from it. He wrapped his legs around Justin until his feet were against Justin's calves. "I'm not complaining Justin."
Justin sighed with relief, eyes studying Brian's content expression. When had he seen Brian's face so relaxed in the past two days? He couldn't remember and that's what mattered. He had done this for Brian, for himself.
"Do you want a massage? I know you're going to be real sore tomorrow," Justin offered, his clean hand tracing around one of Brian's nipples. He lifted his hips a little, drawing out his flaccid penis and a hiss from Brian.
Brian grinned at Justin when Justin rested back against him, taking comfort in the heat of Justin's body. There was a constant burning sensation that had developed sometime between his orgasm and Justin's but he was becoming accustom to ignoring it. He merely felt the hairs along Justin's jawline and reveled in his gratification.
"Maybe a shower first?" Brian suggested, rubbing his foot along Justin's calf. He felt Justin adjust again and there legs were tangled together as Justin pulled them until they were lying on their sides staring at each other.
"Okay," Justin whispered, fingers skimming over Brian's hip. He leaned forward so that his forehead could rest against Brian's.
"You're going to join me, right," Brian said because it was more of a request than a question. He was pleased when Justin nodded against his forehead.
"I leave tomorrow," Justin whispered and when the words cleared his lips, he didn't know why he said them. Brian didn't have a negative reaction because it had been said before but Justin couldn't escape how it made him feel.
"Can we shower again before you leave?" Brian joked, hoping to elevate some of Justin's somberness.
Justin nibbled his lip, wiping his hand off on the couch because the last thing on his mind was a cleaning bill. He had just had sex with Brian. They had kissed, bonded, drew closer. Brian trusted him, even said it. There were feelings that were unforeseen and ones that were making him want to stay in Atlanta even longer. He couldn't leave Brian, not now. He didn't want to leave Baylee either. They had managed to become a part of him, fill a void that Justin thought all of his fame and luxuries had already filled.
He closed his eyes for a moment, Brian's lips kissing at his cheek. He blinked his eyes back open, an unfamiliar stinging at the back of his eyes. They couldn't be tears because that was Brian's department. He couldn't be that attached. But he was looking at Brian and that smile on Brian's lips only made him whisper, "thank you."
Brian snickered and nodded because somewhere he knew what Justin meant. He traced the lines of Justin's cross tattoo and tried not to think of how this feeling could only be momentary. But he refused to let it be. "What are you going to tell him?"
Justin quirked an eyebrow at Brian before asking, "tell who?"
"Baylee when he wakes up in the morning and finds me and you in bed with him," Brian smiled out, running the tip of his finger over Justin's nose. He caught the smile Justin shot back at him and decided maybe it was just for a moment. Maybe he could have this for a little longer, forever even. Just long enough for him to remember that for every tear, there's a shoulder for them to fall on.
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