This is a fictional story involving sexual acts between two or more men. If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental. This story is the property of the author and no copying or posting to any other website is permitted without the author's written consent.
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Brent's Struggle Chapter 5
Brent was actually relieved to be starting the school year. The tension at home was thick. His dad did not talk to him. He would glare at Brent whenever they were in the same room for very long. His Mom and he talked but it was not like it once was. He could feel tension there as well. He knew his parents were not talking much either. Going back to school would get him away from them. Maybe if they all had time apart everyday things would improve.
"I am fucking up everyone's life," Brent thought as he sat thru class not really hearing a word the teacher was saying.
He tried to talk to Tracy during lunch. He thought maybe if he could patch things up with her that she would help him look better in the eyes of his parents. If he had a girlfriend again, then maybe they could forget about Devyn and Cody. "They might forget," he thought, "but I never will. I will remember how good it was to be with each of them." He was still not sure if he was truly in love with Cody. Cody had been great and what they had done with each other was awesome in Brent's mind. But his true feelings were for Devyn. He wished they had been able to finish the love making they had started. He wished he had let Devyn inside him. "Maybe then I would still feel like a part of him was with me."
His attempt to strike up a conversation with Tracy went poorly. Tracy was with some hot jock now and wouldn't even give Brent the time of day. He guessed Tracy was better off with a guy that could give her more than he could.
After the first several days at school he felt the emptiness without Devyn. He kept half expecting Devyn to walk thru the door. He so wanted him to come in and sit down at the table with him. It would be just like it was this time last year. Devyn sitting their smiling at him and them talking about everything and nothing. Brent was realizing just how quickly he and Devyn had formed a friendship. The other kids in school were just classmates. They were not friends. At least not friends at the level he and Devyn had been friends. He just did not have a connection with anyone else. Nothing compared to that level of friendship that they had shared.
Brent sat alone eating his lunch. He was remembering how many times he and Devyn had sat eating lunch talking and just looking at each other. How Brent missed looking into those warm brown eyes. How he missed that warm friendly voice.
"Brent," Sue said trying to get his attention for the third time.
"Oh, um, what?" he said looking up from his lunch that he wasn't eating.
"I didn't see Devyn anywhere," she said. "I know you said he was away in rehab or something at the end of school last year but he isn't back.
"Um, we don't, um, talk much," he said.
"I am worried about him," Sue said. "I'm a little worried about you too. You look, um, sad," she said and lightly touched his arm.
"Um, you know Tracy and I, um, broke up last year," he said.
"Yeah," Sue said. "Sorry about that. You two looked good together.
"Now she is with, um, that guy," Brent said indicating Tracy and her new boyfriend.
"Yeah," Sue said and softly squeezed his arm. "They have been dating all summer."
"Plus, um, you know," Brent began. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to have someone to talk too. He needed a friend. He couldn't talk to anyone about Devyn or Cody. "Um, it is kind of like..."
Sitting down at the table next to Brent Sue said, "Go on." She looked into Brent's blue eyes. Her own eyes were reflecting her concern for Brent. She could tell that there was something wrong.
"Devyn and I were really close," Brent began speaking fast. "I mean you know best buds."
"I know," she said smiling. "You two were like twins. You were always together. It was fun all of us dating and going out together."
"Yeah," Brent agreed. It had been fantastic.
"He was a special guy," Sue said.
"I miss that," Brent said. He lowered his voice and looked down. "I miss him. We were, um, like brothers or something."
"I'm sure you do," Sue said and lightly touched his arm. "Have you tried to get a hold of him?"
"No," Brent said. "His folks...well I think they blame me. I don't know why but they do. Since my parents found out, they don't want me around him."
"But if he is getting better," Sue said. "They should know he needs his friends."
"Um, yeah," Brent said noncommittally.
"I still cannot believe it," she said. "Devyn just seemed to nice to get mixed up in drugs. I can't imagine why he did that."
"Me either," Brent said. He felt a little bad at continuing to let Sue believe Devyn had been doing drugs. She was so right at how out of character it was for him.
"Do you know what facility he is in?" she asked.
"No," Brent said. "Um not around here I think." Brent really had no idea where Devyn was. He had looked around for him and like Sue was hoping he would be back at school. He knew Devyn's bedroom was always dark. He knew that he wasn't at home with his parents.
"It's about time for class," Sue said getting up from the lunch table. "If you hear anything, let me know."
"I will," Brent promised. Sue must care more for Devyn than Tracy did for him. "Um Sue," Brent said before she walked away. She paused and looked back at him. "Um, you wouldn't want to go out sometime would you?"
"You mean a date?" she asked. She felt a little odd being asked out by her boyfriend's best friend.
"Um, as friends," Brent added. It would be nice to spend time with someone. Plus it was Devyn's girlfriend. In some warped way it was the closest connection he had to Devyn.
"Sure," she said. "It might be fun."
The bell rang then. Brent slowly got up and dumping his uneaten food and headed to his afternoon class.
His next appointment with Dr. Wilson was the same. Brent was just happy it was only an hour appointment. He told her about asking Sue out. He did not let her know that Sue and Devyn use to date. She seemed pleased with him pursuing a `normal' relationship.
Brent went thru the motions. He went to school; he went to his appointments with Dr. Wilson. He came home and went to his room. He spent most of his time in his room. He would watch the house across the street. He hoped to see Devyn coming or going but he never did. "Where could he have gone?" Brent wondered. He hoped he was alright. He hoped he had found a safe place and was doing well.
Weeks passed and Brent and Sue did go out to a movie and had fun together. They found it easy to talk to each other and since they were just friends it worked well for them. Brent's parents were relieved he was seeing a girl. If nothing else Sue might help him patch things up with them. At least until she started dating someone else. Brent started telling them that he was going out with Sue even when he did not have plans with Sue. He would just go to the movies by himself.
"You need to bring Sue over for dinner," is Mom said on one of the occasions when she thought he was going out with Sue but he was really just going to the movies alone.
"Um, sure," he said. "Um soon."
"How about next week," his Mom pressured.
"Um, I'll ask her," Brent said and hurried out.
He kept making excuses as to why Sue could not come over for dinner. His Mom kept insisting. "We need to get to know her better," his Mom said. "You two have been seeing a lot of each other and I think it is time we get to know her too."
Brent was feeling nothing ever went right for him. He had been dating Tracy but that didn't work because he had feelings for Devyn. He had tried a physical relationship with Devyn and that had gone to hell. He then met Cody and had a good connection with him and that had blown up. Now he had a pretend relationship and he couldn't even make that work. "You are such a fuck up," he told the reflection in the mirror. "Everything you do turns into more problems."
Brent had to give up the fake relationship with Sue. He wished he could find a real relationship with a girl. Maybe if he was really dating someone he could get his parents off his back.
He finally had to tell his Mom that he and Sue broke up. "We decided it was better to just be friends," he told her.
"I'm sorry honey," she said. "You will have other girlfriends."
"Sure," he said as he hurried upstairs to escape her.
It was just before dinner when his Dad was knocking on his door. "Your Mom told me you broke up," Richard said coming into Brent's room.
"Yeah," he said.
"It can be rough," Richard said. "But you survived the break up with Tracy. The right girl is out there for you son. It doesn't hurt to play the field you know."
Brent couldn't believe it. He and his father were having a real conversation. His dad was talking to him and not lecturing him. Richard's eyes seemed concerned and not full of loathing. It was the first time in weeks that Brent thought they just might be able to have back some part of their father and son relationship.
"Um, right," Brent agreed.
"It is natural for a boy to play the field," Richard continued. "I did that before meeting your mom. So those wild oats now so you can settle down with a good woman and raise a family."
"Um, thanks for the advice Dad," Brent said when it seemed Richard was finished giving Bret his pep talk. "It is good to, um, know you had girl troubles."
Now when he went to the movies to get out of the house and away from his parents he would tell them he was just meeting friends. The theater was becoming his home away from home. His only problem was there weren't enough movies to watch. He had seen most of them a couple of times.
"Yu are here a lot," the ticket agent said as Brent was purchasing his ticket. "In fact, I think you saw this movie just last weekend."
"Um, yeah," Brent said looking into the handsome face of the college aged boy. The guy was friendly and Brent had always thought he was cute.
"I haven't seen it," the guy said. "Is it that good?"
"Yeah," Brent said. "It is pretty good."
"Maybe I'll check it out then," he said smiling at Brent.
"You should," Brent said. He took the ticket from the guy and their fingers touched. They both lingered there looking at each other Brent looked into those deep brown eyes and felt a spark. He wondered if the other boy was feeling it as well.
"Later," Brent said breaking the contact and taking the ticket. He headed towards the theater. He thought he could feel the guy's eyes on him as he walked. He wanted to turn and see if he was right but could not make himself do that.
The movie was about half over when Brent felt someone sit in the chair next to him. He looked over and saw the guy from the ticket counter.
"Hi," he said smiling in the dark at Brent.
"Um, hi," Brent said.
"I noticed you didn't get any popcorn or a soda, so I brought some. That is if you don't mind sharing."
"Um thanks," Brent said. "And I don't mind sharing."
"Mind catching me up?" he asked. "I know you have seen it before so you won't miss anything."
In hushed whispers Brent caught the guy up to speed on the movie. They then sat there watching the rest of the movie and eating the popcorn and sharing the soda.
"You were right," he said as they were walking from the theater. "That was a good movie. I'm not sure I would watch it three times."
"I was kind of board this last time," Brent said. "That is until the second half." He smiled at the attractive guy. Now that the boy was out from behind the ticket counter he could really study him. His hair was a rich brown color and his eyes were a warm brown. His body was similar to Brent, although he was more filled out. He was not nearly as slender as Brent had become.
"What are you doing?" Dr Wilson's voice filled his head. "You know what this boy wants. You know it is wrong. You know you should not be spending time with him." The words echoed thru his head but he ignored them. He could not resist the warm brown eyes and the friendly smile that were so much like Devyn.
They reached the lobby and stood their awkwardly for a few moments. "I work most weekends the guy said.
"I'll probably be back next weekend," Brent said.
"I'll see you then," he said.
Brent went out the doors into the night air. He couldn't believe what he had done. Had he just met another guy? Had he really spent the movie with this guy having fun?
"You cannot see him again," Dr. Wilson's voice told him. "He is a bad influence on you. He wants one thing and one thing only to corrupt your ethics."
"It should not be this hard," Brent thought walking down the street towards home. "I should be able to feel a connection with someone without it being wrong. I should be able to have a friend and so what if I'm attracted to him. Why is it wrong?"
"It is not normal for you to have these feelings," Dr. Wilson's voice told him. "You need to stay away from this boy. You need to give up this image of Devyn. That boy is no good and neither is this one. You will lose everything if you continue on this way."
"How can this be wrong?" he asked. "We connected on some level. I am sure of that. Why does it matter if I'm attracted to him? Why can we not be friends? Why is it wrong?"
His mind pondered that question as he was walking home. He could hear Dr. Wilson telling him that these thoughts were wrong. That being attracted to another boy was wrong. He heard them and he just wanted to ignore them. He had met two really great guys. Maybe now there was a third one. He would just have to keep that hidden from his parents. He needed to be sure to keep that part of his life separate from his other life. He wondered if maybe he should try and find a girl friend. He just wasn't sure he would be able to perform if it came to that. He had not had much interest in sex for a while. Maybe this new boy would change that as well.
He knew now that the mistake he and Devyn made was being caught. They should have never put themselves into that situation. He had let Devyn talk him into that. Maybe Dr. Wilson was right about that. But he had loved Devyn. He still loved him. He missed seeing him every day. He missed his smile. He missed that face. He missed the warm voice, the soft touch and the feeling of total acceptance. Brent closed his eyes fighting back the tears. They were always there. He saw that hurt look the last time he had seen Devyn. Brent could remember all to clearly the look that had soon turned to anger when Brent had told him to leave.
Brent looked up at the night stars. He hoped that somewhere Devyn was looking at those same stars. He hoped on some level Devyn could feel how sorry he was.
Copyright 2019 by Keith Yates keith.96@att.net all rights reserved
Sorry for the long delay in posting. Life happens. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter.
I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. Send me an E-mail to keith.96@att.net.