This is a fictional story that may involve sexual acts between two or more males. If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental.

This story is the property of the author and no copying or posting to any other website is permitted without the author's written consent.

Please help keep Nifty going by donating to this impressive service. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

Readers Note: The events in this chapter of Brent's Struggle are taking place between the currently posted Chapter 60 of Devyn's Struggle and the soon to come chapter 61. It is a bit odd jumping between the two stories so please send me your thoughts. You can send them to keith.96@att.net or devyn.96@protonmail.com.

I do not believe that you have to read Devyn's Struggle to follow the storyline but it might help. You can find the story here:

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/devyns-struggle/

Brent's Struggle Chapter 42

Brent wished Devyn had been able to stay longer but he understood he had to get back to school. He wished they could have talked more but Devyn said he would come back this weekend. "If it is at all possible, I'll be back Saturday." Devyn had sounded ernest when saying those words. It did not sound like an empty promise.

Brent had been getting stronger every day. His pain meds had been reduced so he was no longer so groggy all the time. If Matt and Bryan had not reassured him that Devyn had in fact been there, he might have thought it was all another one of his vivid dreams.

Now that Brent was off most of the medication, the dream that came back to him was the one about the mystery man named Cody. He could still see the friendly face, the warm eyes, and the ready smile. The guy had been so similar to Devyn but yet different. Brent wished he knew if the guy and he had really had some sort of sexual relationship or if it was all just some sort of made-up fantasy.

It was early but Brent was already feeling restless. He wanted to get out of the hospital and go home. He was tired of being there and wanted to sleep in his own bed again. It dawned on Brent that when he thought of home it was Matt and Bryan's place. It was not the place with his dad and mom. It was no wonder he felt like that, Matt and Bryan had been treating him more like a son than his parents were.

Bryan had brought Brent's school books with him today. That was something Brent's Mom would have done. In fact, she had done that when he had first checked into Wilson's hell hole of a clinic. Bryan, however, was more encouraging that Brent could remember either of his parents being. "It's time you start putting your nose to the grindstone. We are going to get you caught up and get your grades up.

Brent still did not care about his grades but it seemed to be important to both Matt and Bryan. They wanted him to get his schoolwork caught up. Matt still thought Brent should put in the effort to go to college but would not push Brent on that. "Not for now," Matt said. "But I think you should get these grades up so you have options."

Brent guessed that was true. Maybe with Devyn back, or at least the possibility of Devyn being back in his life, he should keep those options open. Brent could not help but wonder if they could pick up their relationship. They had not had the chance to talk about their feelings. Devyn had seemed to have them for him but how deep did they go? Brent knew his feelings for Devyn still ran deep. He wanted to pick up their relationship. Of course, where would that leave Alex? Alex had been there every night in the hospital. He had been there even before that. Brent wished he could remember what he had felt for Alex before the accident that had stolen most of his memories.

"You look a million miles away," Bryan said.

"Um...I guess I was. I was...um thinking."

"I'm sure there is a lot you need to think about. Your world was turned upside down when you heard Devyn was dead. Now it has to be thrown for a new loop knowing he's not."

Brent looked down at his breakfast which was only partially eaten. Bryan was right. Learning Devyn was dead had thrown Brent's world into turmoil. Brent was just not sure now if Devyn being alive was going to fix that. "It was a bit like seeing a ghost."

"I bet it was," Bryan said. "He's the same but different."

Brent looked up and met the brilliant blue of Bryan's eyes. "I...um...thought maybe that was just my foggy head."

"No, he's different. He's changed. He's still kind and all but he's..." Bryan's voice trailed off. He was not sure how to put it into words.

Before Bryan could produce the right words, the hospital room door was thrown open. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Brent turned towards the familiar voice. He could hear the outrage in the tone of the words. He could see the fire burning in the green eyes that were looking at him. "I want to fucking punch you! What the fuck!"

"Hi Steven," Bryan said but Steven just pushed passed Bryan to glare at Brent.

"Steven, what are you doing here?" Brent could not believe Steven was standing there in the hospital room. It was almost as hard to believe as Devyn having been there.

"What am I doing here? You dare to ask me that!" Steven's voice was getting louder. "We went through hell and then you do a fucking stupid stunt like this."

Brent looked down away from the fury in Steven's eyes. "I, um, well, was..."

"What the hell were you thinking? Well, you weren't thinking. Your head was up your..." Steven's voice was cut off by another voice.

"Steven calm down a bit," a gravelly voice said from the doorway. "Give the boy time to think."

"He's had plenty of time. He's had enough of this fucking pity party."

"I think he's a little pissed," Bryan said but was not able to stop his lips from curving up into a smile.

"Sorry about this," the gravelly voice said as he stepped into the room. "He would not stop fretting' until we got on the road. Then the closer we got the madder he seemed to get."

"Hi, I'm Bryan Chancellor." Bryan held out his hand to the man.

"Howdy, nice to meet you. Name's Jed Hawthorn."

"Good to meet you too."

"That's my Uncle Jed." Steven gestured with his thumb over his shoulder towards the older man. "This is Brent and you just met Bryan."

Brent was not sure where to look. He did not want to face the fire burning in Steven's green eyes. He turned towards Jed. "Um, hi."

"Maybe we should step out and let them talk," Bryan said. "I'll buy you a cup of coffee. You have to have been driving all night?"

"Nah, got into town late last night. Slept in a hotel room until this little dipshit woke me up at the crack of dawn."

Bryan knew the words were filled with tenderness for Steven. It was in the tone of the man's words and the tenderness in the man's eyes. "Your boy is lookin' a bit better than we was expecting."

Bryan placed a hand on Jed's shoulder and guided him towards the door. "Since the dipshit had you up so early, let me buy you breakfast and a big cup of coffee."

"Thanks, I could use some grub and definitely some coffee. The stronger the better."

The door closed behind the two men leaving Brent and Steven alone. The silence drug out for several minutes.

Steven was the first to break the silence. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Um...well...it was an..."

"If you say it was an accident, I'm going to fucking hit you. I've been texting you and no answer and then...and then..." Steven's voice was getting louder. "Matt calls me. He tells me you fucking mixed pills and alcohol!"

Brent looked down at his unfinished breakfast. "I, um, didn't do it on purpose." Brent did not even remember taking the pills or drinking. Matt had told him but he did not remember.

Steven tried to calm down before speaking again. "I fucking freaked out when Matt called me. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't even remember doing it. I just remember not being able to get to sleep. I vaguely remember taking a pill and then getting a drink. I...I really..."

"If I didn't already know your memory was full of holes, I would not buy that shit."

"It's true. I don't remember." Brent's voice took on a slightly defensive tone.

Steven let out a big sigh. "I believe that. But what the fuck!"

"I...um...well...um..."

"Look Brent, don't you realize doing that, throwing away this second chance we both got is letting her win? Don't let that fucking bitch Wilson win."

"I wasn't throwing it away. I was just so messed up. Hell, I'm still messed up. You know what happened. You know what she did. I had to relive all that when I talked to Jay, the guy from the Justice Department."

"I had to go through it with him too, Brent. I know how painful it was. You should have called me. I understand. Hell, talk to me when you can't sleep. Talk to Matt or Bryan or someone."

"They, they deserve..."

"Don't start that fucking shit!" Steven's voice was getting louder again. "You have all these people that love you. You've got me, Matt, Bryan and what about this Alex guy? I bet you shut them out just like you did me." Steven's eyes blazed with an accusation at Brent.

Brent knew Steven was right. He had shut them out. He had not talked to Matt or Bryan. He had not responded to any of the messages from Alex or Steven. There had been at least one message a day from both of them. Most of the time there were messages throughout the day. "I just felt so...so...broken."

"I know that. I've felt that way sometimes too. Talking to Jay made it worse. It was fucking hard on me and I know it was worse for you." Steven moved closer so he could slide his arm around Brent's shoulders. "Talk to me, Brent."

Brent tensed up at the contact but forced himself to try and relax. It was Steven and they had been through pure hell together. "I relived that hell talking to Jay. Even the stuff I didn't tell him. It still filled my nightmares. Then...then I had that meeting with my parents." Brent took a shaky breath. "They hate me. My dad hates me. He likes hurting me. He likes seeing me in pain. There was no other reason for him. For him to...to tell me..."

Brent's throat was closing up as he remembered the feeling of grief and anger. But it was not true. His dad, Richard, had been wrong. Devyn was not dead. Devyn had just been there in the same room as Brent.

"I'm sorry, Brent." Steven leaned in closer and tightened his grip on Brent. "He's an ass. He's probably just liked my Stepdad."

"He told me, shit he told me Devyn was dead."

"Devyn, Devyn from the picture?"

"Yes, but it isn't true. It isn't true. He was here. He's fine."

"You found him?" Steven's voice let his excitement show for Brent. He knew how badly Brent wanted to see Devyn again. Steven knew how much Brent cared for Devyn. It had been seeing that picture that Steven found in one of Brent's books that had triggered part of Brent's memory.

"He kind of found us." Brent explained the little he knew about Devyn trying to contact Matt. Brent had heard most of that from Matt. He had still been fairly foggy when Devyn had been here.

"So, he's going to come back?"

"He said he would." Brent was both excited and apprehensive about spending more time with Devyn.

"That's great Brent. I know how important he is to you. I'm glad you were able to see him again."

"Me too, I think."

What does that mean?" Steven looked into Brent's eyes.

"He's...um...different."

"Well, so are you. It's been a couple of years right?"

"Yes." Brent could still remember the last day he and Devyn had spent together. He could remember how they had spent the night in Devyn's bed naked and curled up in each other's arms. He could also remember how horrible that day had ended.

Steven could see the emotions playing across Brent's face. "Don't start that fucking pity party again."

Brent looked up at Steven in surprise. He was a bit hurt by the comments.

"Oh, I saw it on your face. The `I'm broken he deserves better' bull shit. You said that about Alex too." Steven remembered those comments from Brent during one of their long phone conversations. He had just not realized then how deep those feelings went.

"But I am. I can't..."

"Shit Brent I know you went through hell. We both did. What she did to us...well was fucking perverted and sick. How she...um...focused on you was even worse. I know that but you are stronger than that. You are stronger than her. Hell, don't you remember how you stood up to her? I still think about that. The way you told her how you suck his cock, how you let him fuck you in the ass. I thought she was going to fucking have a stroke right then."

"I wish she had. I wish she were dead. I want her dead. I want to..."

"Ring her neck," Steven provided when Brent's words trailed off.

"Steven, I think I could. I think I could actually do that to her." Brent was clutching the bedclothes in his fists. He wanted it to be Wilson's neck in his fists. He wanted to choke the life out of her.

Steven placed a hand on Brent's forearm. "I know. I've thought about that. I thought about it every night when we were in those basement rooms."

"What if she doesn't go to jail? What if..."

"Don't even think that." Steven squeezed Brent's arm. "Jay will make sure she does."

"But what if..."

"Then Miguel's Mom and those other PFLAAG parents might make short work of her. He told me that she and the other Moms were going to be at that trial every day. They were going to make sure she did not get away with what happened to us. But I believe she will be going to prison for a very long time."

"I hope you are right." Brent wanted to not think about her any longer. He wanted to think about something else. He wanted to think about anything else.

The two continued to talk until the nurse came in and attempted to push Steven out of the room.

"We've got to change your bandages, honey," she said.

"Hey, I'd like to see that. Is he going to have a scar?"

The nurse gave Steven a dirty look. "You need to go."

"I won't be in the way. I'll just stay over here and watch. I might need to know how to do this."

The nurse gave a questioning look at Steven. "Why would you need to know how to change his bandages."

"Hell, won't they need changing when he's at home?"

Brent looked at Steven. He wondered just why the guy was so interested. "It's alright," Brent said. "He can stay if he wants."

"See, he is alright with it."

"I think you should leave. This is going to look..."

"I've seen worse. Trust me," Steven said.

The nurse finally relented and began changing the bandages.

Brent felt a little exposed on the bed with being almost naked. He knew it should not matter. Steven had already seen him naked. He was sure that to the nurse this was just a clinical exercise.

"Wow wicked!" Steven was looking at the inflamed red incision on Brent's stomach. "You are going to have a scar."

"Probably." Brent looked down at the line on his stomach. He would never be able to go without a shirt again. Not that he really wanted to anyway. He wondered how turned off Devyn would be by this ugly red line.

"It will not look as bad when it is healed," the nurse said as she was placing new bandages on the wound.

"Scars are cool," Steven insisted. "They're sexy."

The nurse looked at Steven as if he had two heads.

Steven saw the look and he glared back at her. "They are sexy. Just think," Steven turned his eyes to Brent, "I'll get to look up and see that sexy scar when I'm blowing you."

"Steven!" Brent was surprised by the tone and the words.

"Well, I've never. You young man..."

"Yeah, I suck him off. He's my boyfriend. You got a problem with that?"

The nurse only spluttered in response. She quickly finished redressing the wound and hurried from the room.

Before she got to the door Steven moved back to Brent's side. "Don't worry babe. It is sexy and I love you." Steven then kissed Brent quickly on the lips.

The nurse's face turned red as she bolted from the room.

"Shit Steven. What the hell you trying to do?" Brent could not believe what Steven had said.

"Sorry, but she seemed to have an issue with our being gay..."

"She wouldn't have even known if you hadn't..."

"Fuck that. She needs to learn how to be more accepting."

"Steven, you don't have to shove it down her throat."

"Oh, I think pushing people to accept us is a good thing. Just get it right out there in the open." Steven then turned to look Brent in the eyes. "I could shove something down your throat if you want." Steven wiggled his eyebrows and batted his long lashes at Brent.

"You're fucking nuts!" Brent could not help but chuckle at Steven's expression.

"Hot damn I made you laugh. Uncle Jed says that can be some of the best medicine."

"I think maybe you are the medicine I needed." Brent could not help but feel a little better with Steven there.

Bryan and Jed returned from breakfast and found the two boys still talking. Bryan thought Brent was looking better than he had for a while. He wondered if that was just from Steven or if it was having been able to spend a little time with Devyn. Bryan decided it was probably a combination.

"Uncle Jed booked us another night at the hotel. He said we can't stay too long. He has to get back to the ranch and he wants me back to school. My grades haven't been the best."

"Mine either," Brent admitted. "I wasn't able to think about anything but...well..."

"I know." Steven touched Brent's leg.

Brent tensed up at the contact but forced himself to relax. It was easier to do that with Steven.

"Now that is behind you, you can focus on your schoolwork," Jed said.

"I agree," Bryan said. "Matt and I can help you get caught up."

Brent looked down at the blankets. "I, um, don't know if I can."

"You can if you put your mind to it," Bryan said.

"Uncle Jed wants me to go to college," Steven said. "If we went to the same university, we could room together. That would be cool."

Brent would agree with that. Steven would be fun to room with. Brent could not help but wonder if Devyn would also be going to college. Could they all room together? Brent had a momentary image of them all naked and in bed together. They were each taking turns sucking on the other one. Then Wilson's voice was in his head telling him how perverted he was.

"I think that would be a good idea," Bryan said.

Brent pulled his mind from the fantasy and from Wilson's scolding voice. He had to find a way to get her out of his head. He would never be able to perform with a guy if she popped in every time he thought about sex.

"So, let's both get our grades up so we can get into the same school." Steven liked the idea of being roommates with Brent. He knew they would probably never be more than best friends but it would be nice to be with someone he was completely comfortable with. He had not made any friends at his new school that he would want to live with at college.

The doctor came in late in the afternoon and said Brent was progressing well in his recovery. "If Dr. Drake agrees, I think you can go home tomorrow."

"That is good news," Bryan said. "I think he's ready to go home."

"I am but what does Dr. Drake have to do with releasing me?" Brent did not understand why his therapist would need to be involved.

"Um...well..." The doctor looked at Bryan.

"Because of the drugs and alcohol in your system." Bryan was looking directly into Brent's eyes. "It was a dangerous combination and..."

"It was an accident." Brent's voice was animated.

"Was it Brent?" Bryan was once again looking directly into Brent's eyes. "You are smarter than that."

Brent looked down at his hands. He knew he had not planned to mix the two. He had not really even been thinking about the consequences of mixing prescription antidepressants and alcohol. "I wasn't thinking."

"I believe that." Bryan placed his hand on Brent's shoulder. He felt Brent tense up. It seemed that the old reaction was back in force. "I also know you won't do it again."

This time Brent looked up from his hands to meet Bryan's blue eyes. "I won't."

Bryan smiled. "That's what I want to hear soldier."

Brent felt a warm feeling in his stomach. He liked it when Bryan called him that. It made their connection stronger somehow. For Brent, it made them feel more like father and son.

Matt showed up after work to check on Brent and was glad to see Steven there. "You are looking good Steven."

"So are you Matt." Steven gave Matt a slight smile. "Damn good." Steven's eyes traveled from Matt's handsome face over the man's body.

"I'm married, Steven." Matt chuckled at Steven's antics.

"This one is a handful...or just a damn fool." Jed patted his nephew's shoulder.

It was not long after Matt arrived that Alex showed up. "Damn, it's a party in here."

"Alex, I wasn't expecting you to come back." Brent knew Alex had been the one sitting with him every night. Now that he was more alert he could remember waking up and finding Alex by his bed.

"Just checking on you." Alex moved to Brent's bed. He placed a hand on Brent's shoulder. He felt Brent flinch. "Sorry, I forgot. I'll start warning you again."

"Warning him?" Steven looked from Brent to Alex. He had to say that Alex was more handsome in person than in the few pictures that Brent had shared.

"This is Steven," Brent said, indicating his friend. "We...um...were in...um...the clinic."

Alex held out his hand across Brent's bed. "Nice to meet you, Steven."

"You to Alex." Steven took the hand. He could feel a tingle as their palms met.

"Thank you for helping Brent when you two were in the clinic." Alex gave Steven's hand a firm squeeze with his gratitude. "It means a lot to me to know Brent had an ally in that hell hole."

"We were there for each other." Steven returned the firm squeeze. He could feel his heart rate speeding up. Damn, this guy was so hot. He could not believe that Brent could resist him.

Alex slowly released Steven's hand and turned his attention to Brent. "Looks like it has been a busy day for you."

"It has. It...um...was good to see Steven."

"You do look better. Have they said when you might get out of here?"

"Um...maybe tomorrow," Brent answered Alex's question.

The nurse came in then. She was a bit surprised that there were so many people in the room. "Oh, we cannot have this. Some of you will need to go." Her eyes seemed to be glaring at Steven.

Steven placed his hand on Brent's shoulder. He glared back at her as if daring her to ask him to leave.

"We are sorry," Matt said.

"Yes, we ought to be going to the hotel," Jed said.

The nurse looked away from Steven. "Yes, if some of you could come back tomorrow. It would be better for our patient."

"Oh, I'll be staying again tonight," Alex said.

"Alex you don't have to do..." Alex did not let Brent finish.

"I'm staying. It is already arranged."

"Look, young man..."

"I'm his boyfriend," Alex said. "I'm staying." His glare was just as defiant as the one Steven had shot her earlier.

The nurse turned her accusing gaze to Steven. "You said..."

"I am," Steven said. "I'm his boyfriend. He turned a mischievous grin on Alex. Steven then slid his arm more tightly around Brent. "With a stud like this, it takes two of us to keep him satisfied."

"That's right," Alex agreed. He began rubbing up and down Brent's leg. He felt Brent tense and turned his gaze to Brent. "Sorry babe. I forgot again. I just can't keep my hands off you."

"Guys," Matt said. "We don't need to cause a situation here." Matt was looking at the nurse who seemed completely out of sorts.

"Steven, you can come back tomorrow," Jed said.

Bryan turned to the nurse. "Sorry about them, they are just trying to get a reaction."

"Oh, I don't know, it might take both of us to manage Brent." Alex wiggled his eyebrows at Steven.

"Guys, just knock it off." Brent looked from Steven to Alex.

"Whatever you say, babe." Alex gave Brent's leg a gentle squeeze.

"Come on Steven," Jed said. "Let's get out of these folks' hair. We'll come back tomorrow before we hit the road for home."

"Alright, Uncle Jed." Steven leaned in and gave Brent a quick kiss. "See you tomorrow."

Brent stiffened at the contact but resisted the urge to push Steven away. He knew Steven was putting on a show. He sometimes wondered what got into his friend. Steven always seemed to like pushing boundaries.

Alex felt a twinge of jealousy at Steven. He wanted to lean in and do the same thing. He wanted to put his lips on Brent's. He wanted to kiss the blonde hard, deep, and long. He considered doing it but he also did not want to make Brent uncomfortable.

"It was nice to meet you, Alex," Steven said. "Thanks for being such a good guy."

"You to Steven," Alex said.

"I'm going to head home too," Bryan said. "I'll be back in the morning."

"Thanks, Bryan," Brent said.

Matt stayed long enough to make sure Brent was comfortable and to talk to Dr. Drake when he came by to check in on Brent.

"You are looking better," Dr. Drake said. He could tell that Brent was physically recovering from the injury. He was still not sure about Brent's emotional recovery.

"It's been...well a hell of a few days." Brent looked at Dr. Drake. "I...um...well feel better. The doctor said I can go home if...um...you think I'm ready."

Dr. Drake glanced from Matt to Alex and then to Brent. "It looks like you have quite a bit of support."

"He does," Alex said. Alex turned to Brent. "I'm going to touch your hand." Alex took Brent's hand in his own. "I'm here for him no matter what."

"How about giving us some time alone," Dr. Drake looked from Alex to Matt.

"We can do that," Matt said. He placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Let's get a cup of coffee and some snacks. If you're spending the night, you might want something to munch on."

"Um...sure." Alex turned to Brent. "I won't be gone too long." Alex wanted to lean in and kiss Brent. He only hesitated because he did not want to cause Brent any distress.

"You don't have to..." Brent started to protest Alex staying but stopped when Alex put up his hand.

"Let's not start that again. I'm staying."

"Come on Alex," Matt said, "let's give them some time."

Dr. Drake waited for both Matt and Alex to leave before he started speaking. "That man cares about you so much."

"Do you think so?" Brent looked at Dr. Drake. "I...um...am not sure why. I'm so..."

"Brent, we are all messed up to some extent. Both Matt and Alex love you. Matt thinks of you as his son. Alex loves you in that special romantic way."

"You, um, really think so. We haven't...um...well done anything physical..."

"Brent, stop associating the physical act with the emotion."

"I've tried to push him away. I'm still so...um...in love with...with..." Brent was hesitant to say the name. He did not want to chance fate with the admission.

"Does Devyn feel the same?" Dr. Drake had already learned from Matt about Devyn's being alive. It had probably been one of the best things to push Brent onto the road to recovery.

"I don't know. He should hate me. I hate me for what I did to him."

"You said he should hate you. Does that mean he doesn't?"

"Devyn said he didn't. We didn't get much of a chance to talk." Brent had still been heavily medicated when Devyn had been there. He had to fight through the fogginess to talk to Devyn. "He...um...said he'd be back. He's...um...going to call..."

"How does Alex feel about that?" Dr. Drake was watching Brent closely.

"I...um...haven't told him that yet. I...um...don't want to hurt Alex any more than I already have."

"Think about this Brent." Dr. Drake paused for a moment to make sure Brent was listening. "You have all these people that love you. Matt and Bryan think of you as their son. Their feelings for you could not be any stronger if you were biologically their son. I spoke to Matt's mom and to her you are her grandson. It is obvious from the way Alex looks at you that he cares deeply for you. Now Devyn is back in your life. He doesn't hate you and he probably loves you at least to some extent. You are probably the patient with the most support. Why do you feel so unworthy of all this love?"

Brent looked down at his hands. He was not sure how to answer Dr. Drake. "I, I don't know."

"I think it is from Wilson. She put it in your head that being gay makes you unworthy. Well, it seems that there is a damn extensive line of people that think that is bull shit. Yes, I said bull shit."

Brent's lips twitched at the doctor's tone and phrasing. "I...well..."

"There are probably even more that I haven't mentioned."

"I think you can add Steven to that list. He...um...showed up today. He was...well pissed at me. He thinks that I need to get over...how did he say it...the pity party."

"Steven, is that the boy you were in that hell hole with?" Dr. Drake refused to speak of Wilson as a doctor or her facility as a clinic.

Brent chuckled. "Yes, that is him. I actually thought he might deck me."

"I think I like this young man."

"He's gotten a bit...um...well campy I guess is the right word."

"Sounds like since he's out of the clinic he's embracing being gay."

"I guess he is...he's looking at every guy as though...well there's a potential...um...fuck."

Dr. Drake laughed. "Well, he might want to show some manners before he's accused of sexual harassment."

"He has always liked pushing the boundaries. I think that's why he ended up in the clinic." Brent continued talking about Steven and how the redhead had always fought Wilson's treatment. "I think it was him standing up to her that helped me stand my ground with her. He helped keep my sanity in there."

"He sounds like a remarkable friend."

"He's the best."

They continued talking until Matt and Alex came back into the room. "Um...did we give you enough time?" Matt looked from Brent to Dr. Drake.

"Yes, we had a good talk," Dr. Drake rose from the chair next to Brent's bed.

"Um...do you think I could go home tomorrow?" Brent was tired of being in the hospital. He knew it had only been a little while but he was ready to go back home.

"I think you can tomorrow." Dr. Drake gave Brent's shoulder a squeeze. He felt Brent tense and could tell the teenager had to fight down the reaction to pull away.

"Thanks, Dr. Drake."

Alex took the chair that Dr. Drake vacated. "It's going to be good to have you out of here."

"I agree with that," Matt said. He had taken the seat on the other side of Brent's bed.

The three chatted until Matt decided it was time for him to go home. "I'll be working tomorrow. I may stop by on the way into the office..."

"Oh, you don't have to, Matt." Brent was worried about how much of a burden he was on Matt's work schedule. "I'll be fine."

"Well, if I don't, Bryan will be here early. He's going to want to get you home."

Matt left, leaving Alex and Brent alone. "I'm glad you are more awake this time. I like watching you sleep but I also like talking to you."

"Alex, you don't have to stay."

"Brent, don't start that again. I'm here and I'm staying."

"What about that nurse? She didn't seem to like all the company."

"Oh, she can dislike it all she wants. The fact is I have permission from your doctor and the hospital CEO. He's not going to do anything to risk his job."

Brent shook his head. "You like throwing around that Caldwell influence, don't you."

"What's the point of having it if I can't help the people I love." Alex reached out to take Brent's hand. He paused just before his hand closed on Brent's. "I'm going to take your hand." Alex took Brent's hand in his. "I do love you. I wish I had been there for you."

"Damn Alex, I pushed you away. It isn't your fault that I got hurt."

"I should have been pushier. I should have shown up at your door so we could have talked about the fight."

Brent looked down at the hand Alex was holding. He looked at Alex's manicured fingernails. He could feel tenderness and strength in that hand. "It was my fault, Alex. I was...well...I was hurting and I took it out on you. I'm sorry for that."

"I understand Brent. We take out our hurts on the ones that love us the most."

"Alex, why, why do you put up with this? I've been..."

"I'm going to touch you." Alex reached out and lightly squeezed Brent's leg. "I know you don't yet remember but we had a connection. There was something special between us when we first saw each other at the theater."

"I wish I could remember that." Brent tried but he could just not pull the memory forward from the deep place it was hiding inside his mind.

"I wish you would too but I believe you will." Alex gave Brent's leg a soft squeeze.

"You are always so optimistic. It is...well...annoying."

Alex's lips curved up into a smile. "Good, you always found me a bit annoying but you loved me anyway."

Brent could not help but smile at Alex. There was something about the guy. Brent was not sure it was love but he was sure he liked having Alex as a friend. "Alex...um...thanks for...um...being so..."

"Persistent?" Alex suggested.

"Yes. Thanks." Brent's voice was getting a bit groggy. He was not on as much pain medication now but the nurse had just given him another round before Matt had left.

"You are sounding sleepy. Go on and sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Brent moved his hand to Alex's which was still resting on his leg. "Thanks, Alex."

Alex watched as Brent drifted off to sleep. He leaned in and lightly kissed Brent's hand that was resting on his own hand. "Sweet dreams."

Alex was good to his word. The next morning, he was still sitting there next to Brent's bed. He looked just as together as he had when Brent had drifted off to sleep the night before.

"Hey, sleepy boy," Alex said. "It's early but I'm glad you are starting to wake up."

"Did you sleep at all?" Brent was a bit concerned that Alex would be wearing himself out. He did not look like it but Brent guessed that Alex would hide that from him.

"I did sleep some. That cute night nurse was in a couple of times. He's got a hot...well you know."

"Geez!" Brent rolled his eyes. "You sound like Steven now. He seems to be checking out every beefcake between here and Montana."

"I think I like Steven. He seems to have helped put you in a good frame of mind." Alex liked the way Brent's blue eyes had some of their old sparkle back. He hoped that more of that would return.

Brent wondered if it had been seeing Steven again or if it had been having Devyn back in his life. That was still so up in the air. Brent was still so unsure how they fit back into each other's lives.

"I am going to have to take off soon," Alex said. "I've got an early morning class."

"I understand. You don't need to stay..." Brent's words were cut off as the nurse came into the room.

"I just wanted to check on you before my shift ended." The man moved over to Brent. "It's good to see you awake."

"You aren't here to give me more pain stuff, are you?" Brent wanted to stay a little less foggy today. He hoped he was still getting to go home today.

"Are you in pain?" The man's eyes looked a little concerned.

"No, not really. Just if I move too fast or something like that."

The man set about taking Brent's vitals. He kept glancing at Alex. His glances were not accusatory like the nurse from yesterday. Brent wondered if the man was checking Alex out. Brent was not getting a gay vibe from him but Brent's gay radar had never been all that good.

"Everything looks good." The man was entering the data into the computer. "Looks like you are being discharged today."

"That is great," Alex said.

Just before Alex left, Bryan showed up. Then shortly after Bryan arrived, Steven and his Uncle Jed were there to visit Brent.

"You're lookin' some better today," Jed said.

"I feel a bit better."

"That's good," Steven said. "Uncle Jed said we couldn't stay too long this morning. We've got to head back."

"I understand," Brent said.

"Let me take you to get some breakfast," Bryan told Jed. "We can let the boys talk a bit."

"Sure, sounds good to me." Jed followed Bryan from Brent's hospital room.

"Are you really feeling better?" Steven was looking directly into Brent's eyes.

"I am," Brent confirmed.

"Did you and Alex fool around a bit last night?" Steven's lips were curved up into a knowing grin.

"Geez Steven. No."

"Well, he's so damn hot. Those photos you messaged me did not do him justice. I'd have definitely been playing doctor with him last night."

"Yeah, when a nurse could walk in at any moment."

"Hell, that night nurse was hot. Maybe he'd have joined in. They could have both been...um...examining every one of your body parts."

"Shit!" Brent could not help but chuckle at Steven. It hurt a bit to laugh but it also felt good. He had not done that for so long.

Steven's voice took on a more serious tone. "You know, I think he does love you. Alex I mean. I could tell by how he was looking at you. I also saw a little flare of jealousy when I touched you."

"Yeah, I think he does." Brent looked towards the window. He was not sure how he felt about the fact that Alex cared for him so deeply. "I'm not sure why."

Steven slapped his forehead. "Fuck, I thought we covered that yesterday. You are funny, sweet, and shit hot."

"Steven..." Brent had known on some level that Steven had been interested in having more than just a friendship but Brent did not have those feelings for the other boy. Oh, he found Steven attractive with his deep red hair, vivid green eyes, and creamy skin. Brent knew how smooth that skin was. He knew Steven had virtually no body hair. Unless the teenager had started growing some new hair since Brent had last seen him, the boy only had red pubic hair and a few whisps in his armpits. The rest of the redhead's body was smooth. Brent wanted to express his feelings of friendship to Steven and not hurt the other boy, who might want more than just a deep friendship.

Steven heard the protest in Brent's one word. He could see the concern on Brent's face. Steven knew where they stood. He might want more but he knew he also did not want to lose what the two of them had. The bonds they had formed in Wilson's hell were strong enough to withstand just about anything short of a nuclear explosion. "Well, it's true. Look, I know we've been through enough shit together that we will never be more than best buds. I've accepted that...although I wouldn't mind it being best buds with benefits." Steven's green eyes glittered with the sexual thoughts he was having. "Guys are going to find you hot. They are going to see the good person that is in here." Steven thumbed Brent's chest just above his heart. He did it so quickly that Brent did not even have time to react. "That is why I love you; Alex loves you and you got two of the hottest fucking Dads there are. They love you. You gotta knock off this fucking pity party. It's getting damned old. Yes, your bio-Dad is a fucking dick wad, and mines dead." Steven swallowed past the lump in his throat. "We've all got shit but it doesn't mean we are not worthy of being loved or letting someone love us."

"I know that but I just feel..."

"That feeling of self-loathing is what Wilson put in there. Kick that fucking cunt out of your head." Steven's voice had risen in tempo as he spoke. "She is not worth this. You are giving her all the power. Take it back. Take it back or I will kick your sorry ass!"

The room was silent for a while. Steven's fire had run its course and Brent was considering what Steven had said.

"You know in one part of my head; I know everything you are saying is true. But the other part...well..."

"I know it's hard." Steven's voice was back to a normal pitch now. "We are all here to help you. Me, Alex, Matt, and Bryan. I'm only a phone call away and now you even got Devyn back in your life."

"Yeah, I do. He's...well...he's better than I deserve."

"Bull shit," Steven said adamantly. "No one is better than you deserve. My bud only deserves the best."

Brent snickered a bit. He had forgotten how Steven could give him encouragement and strength. If they had not been through hell together, Brent wondered if they might have had a chance at more than just friends. "Thanks."

"Is it that you are still in love with Devyn? Is that why you aren't letting Alex in?" Steven had wondered for a while if Brent had been pushing Alex away because of his feelings for Devyn. Steven knew those feelings were strong. It had been seeing that picture of Devyn that had unlocked part of Brent's memories.

Brent looked away from Steven's penetrating gaze. He looked down. "I do still love him. I know that. I regret how I fucked up things with him. If I had it to do over..."

"We all wish we could change something." Steven could see the pain in his friend's eyes. He wished he had Brent's problem with having these two super-hot guys interested in him. It did not hurt that both guys sounded just as sweet as they were hot.

"I hurt him so badly that day." Brent could still see Devyn standing there in his living room. He had seen the hurt look on Devyn's face and then he had seen the eyes that had always shown so much love for Brent turn to anger at Brent. "Devyn said he forgave me but how could he? I was a fucking dick."

"We forgive the ones we love." Steven reached out and took Brent's hand. He felt Brent reflexively start to pull away but Steven held on tighter. "That's why I forgive you for being so stupid you ended up here."

"Geez thanks." Brent took a more serious tone. "How can I let either of them love me if I...if I can't...well...you know...um...well...um."

"Have an orgasm?" Steven supplied the words. "Brent it was hard for me too. I had to work at it. It was frustrating. That bitch did a number on both of us." Steven shuddered at the memory of what Wilson had put him and Brent through.

"Steven, have you ever...um...cum in a dream. I mean in the dream and in reality?" Brent could feel a blush starting but he knew he could ask Steven anything.

"You mean a wet dream?" Brent nodded his head. "I can't say I've ever done that. I know it does happen sometimes. Did it happen to you recently?"

Brent nodded his head. "It was about this guy all I knew was his name was Cody. He was hot and we...um...were..."

"Fucking and sucking," Steven supplied. Steven arched an eyebrow and his lips twitched at the corners. He wished he had been having such vivid dreams that he had climaxed. Steven had to work up his orgasm with just his hand.

Brent nodded. "He was hot and I felt some strong connection with him. When I woke up, my underwear was wet with my cum." Brent could feel his ears burning and knew he had to be pink. He knew he could tell Steven anything but he was still a bit embarrassed by the admission. "All I remember was his name. I couldn't decide if he was real or a fantasy."

"He sounds like a hot fucking fantasy."

"I was stupid. I asked my parents about the name. He was apparently real."

"Holy shit. Even better. Maybe more of your memory is coming back."

"I think my parents must have known that this Cody and I had some sort of relationship. My dad called him a few names and then told me about Devyn being dead. He wanted to hurt me, Steven. He wanted it. He hates me. He hates me. He hates having a queer for a son."

Steven could hear the tears in Brent's voice. He could also see them glistening in Brent's blue eyes. "Well, fuck him. I said it before, he's a prick. I know it hurts Brent. I know that. But look you lost him but you got Matt and Bryan. Hell, you and Bryan look enough alike that everyone probably thinks he's your biological dad."

"I wish he was." Since coming to live with Matt and Bryan, this was not the first time that Brent had wished for Bryan to be his dad.

"You don't have to wish. So, what if you don't share blood? You share more than that. He loves you and so does Matt. Hell, you should have heard how bad Matt sounded when he called me. There was real fear in his voice. He was hurt that you were hurt."

"I haven't treated them well these last few weeks." Brent felt guilty at how rude he had been to the two men. He cared for them so much and they seemed to care deeply for him.

"Well, see, that is something you can fix. Treat them well now. Be their son. Be Alex's boyfriend...or Devyn's. I'm not sure Devyn could be hotter than Alex..."

"He is. He really is."

"Shit. You lucky fuck. All of these hot men. Throw some my way. All I got is Jessie and he's fucking straight."

"Jessie's the new ranch hand, right?"

"Yes, if he wasn't straight...well...I probably still wouldn't be able to nail him but at least then there might be a remote chance."

"You're a bit...um...eager to...um..."

"Well fuck. Hell yeah, I've worked hard at overcoming what that twat did to us. I'm going to enjoy it whenever I can."

"So do you...um...jerk off?"

"Yes." Steven's voice took on a more serious tone. He knew this was where Brent was concerned.

"I've tried but other than that one time in my sleep...I haven't been able to..."

"It took me a lot of effort," Steven said. "I had to work at it."

"Who's going to want a limp dick boyfriend." Brent could feel his neck burning. He knew he had to be pink with what he was telling Steven.

"I think just from the little I know of Alex and from the way that man looks at you, he will understand. I'm sure he would be willing to experiment and try anything."

"He probably would."

"Plus, Brent, even if you don't climax, you can help him climax. Part of the enjoyment is giving the other person that pleasure too."

"I guess that's true."

"I think if you give them a chance to help you, you will find you can overcome this. With two hotties like Alex or Devyn, I think you will find it easier than I did. I had no one offering to help me. I had to watch porn and just use my hand." Steven held up his right hand. "It does a decent job but someone else's hand...well that would be better. Even better would be their mouth."

Brent wondered if he should have tried with Alex. He knew Alex would not have minded and if Alex had enjoyed it to a climax then at least one of them would have enjoyed the sex.

"I think you need to try it with someone. Hell, if we had time..."

"Shit Steven..."

"Well, right now Brent. We've been through hell. It might be the ultimate test. I mean if I can get you off, then it should be easier with Devyn or Alex...hell maybe both of them. You could be the blonde bread in their sandwich."

"My god what has happened to you on that ranch."

Steven leaned in closer and dropped his voice. "Watching all of those animals going at it has given me naughty ideas."

"The scary thing is...I'm not sure you're totally joking."

"Well, neither am I." Steven laughed. "Actually, it is Jessie that has given me those ideas." Steven glanced at the door and then pulled out his phone. "Look at this." Steven pulled a photo up on his phone that he had taken of Jessie.

"He is damn good-looking." Brent had to agree with that.

"Yeah, well check this out." Steven swiped around on his phone and brought up a second picture.

Brent looked at the image. It was the same man but this time he was shirtless and carrying what looked like a couple of buckets. The man's body was defined with hard muscles. His chest was tan and smooth. There was a dark treasure trail leading from the man's navel down into his jeans.

"Hot right." Steven looked at the photo. "Makes me hot. I want to suck on those nipples and lick that hair under his belly button."

"He's hot. That six-pack is definitely a turn-on."

"Yeah, well take a look at this." Steven held out his phone to Brent.

"Holly shit Steven! That's his ass...I mean his bare ass."

"Yeah, those cheeks could break fucking bricks. That has to be true buns of steel." Steven rubbed himself through his jeans. "Would love to tongue that trench."

Brent had to agree this man had a hot ass. "How the hell did you get that?"

"I was walking past the bunkhouse one night. The bunkhouse is where Uncle Jed puts up any hired hands. It's fairly big but we've only got a few hired men at a time. The building was around since before all the technological stuff came along."

"Steven, how'd you get the PICTURE?"

"Well, like I said I was going by and I just happened to glance through the window. I saw Jessie coming from the shower room. He had nothing on but a towel around his waist. I wasn't even thinking, I pulled my phone out and got closer to the window. When he saw he was alone he pulled off the towel and that's when I shot the picture. I just wish he hadn't turned away from the window before pulling off that towel. I wanted to see what he has between his legs. It fills out his jeans damn nice."

"Fuck Steven, you're. You're...stalking the guy or something."

Steven looked back at the bare ass on the screen of his phone. "I told you he likes putting on a show for me. He's always shirtless and showing off for me. I think he'd be alright with me jacking off to his hot ass."

Brent shook his head. "I hope you don't get caught. He might kick your ass."

"I...um...don't think so."

Brent was not sure Steven sounded as sure as he wanted to sound with that statement. "Well, stop taking risks like that. Plus, it's a little creepy."

"Yeah, it probably is. If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done it. It was just something I did impulsively. It is hot though isn't it."

"It is." Brent did not get a chance to say more as Bryan and Jed came back into the room.

"Did you two get all your jawing done?" Jed asked the two teenagers.

"Yeah, Uncle Jed. Thanks for taking the time to bring me."

"It's alright," Jed said. He patted Steven's back. "I know he's a true friend." The man then turned to Bryan. "How about next time you come and visit us."

"We'd like that," Bryan said.

"Hey, come up for Christmas," Steven supplied. "It will be awesome. We can all bunk in the bunkhouse."

"That would be cool," Brent agreed. He was sure that Steven had an ulterior motive for having them sleeping in the bunkhouse.

"Now, that's a right good idea," Jed said. "We'd like to have you folks there for the holidays."

Bryan looked at Brent and thought he saw some interest in the boy visiting Steven. "It might be good to get away. I'll talk to Matt and let you know. Some of it might depend on his work schedule."

"You all are welcome to come visit anytime. With these boys kind of like brothers, they should spend the holidays together."

"We will let you know." Bryan appreciated Jed's offer. He thought Matt would like the change of scene.

"I hope it works out," Steven said just before he was about to leave with his uncle. "I've missed you these past several months."

"I've missed you too," Brent said.

"I'm going to hug you," Steven moved in and hugged Brent. "Call me."

"I will." Brent returned Steven's hug. With the warning, he had time to prepare for the physical contact.

"If I don't hear from you, I'll be back to kick your ass."

"I will behave."

Steven leaned in close so only Brent could hear him. "Fool around with Alex and see how far things go...oh and if you get the chance, send me a picture. He's got a hot ass too."

"Get out of here." Brent could not help but laugh. He shook his head.

# # # # # Copyright 2023 by Keith yates (keith.96@att.net) all rights reserved. No copying, reposting, or distributing is permitted without the author's written consent.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it. Thomas Paine

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. Thomas Paine

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture. Thomas Paine

Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine