This is a fictional story that may involve sexual acts between two or more males. If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental.

Special thanks to Sky for your encouragement and proof reading on this chapter.

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A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.

Thomas Paine

Brent's Struggle Chapter 29

Brent jerks awake from the nightmare. 'It was just a dream,' Brent tells himself. His body is covered in sweat and his chest is heaving as he tries to calm down. 'It was just a dream. Matt and Bryan wouldn't let that happen to me.' In the dream he was meeting with his parents. Matt and Bryan weren't there but Dr. Wilson was. Her orderlies had grabbed him and started dragging him back to the clinic. He had fought them but couldn't stop them. Wilson had cut the clothes off his body so he stood naked in a small cell. Her cold hands touched him. He could feel her hands manipulating him. That's when he woke up.

Brent climbs out of bed. He knows he's not going to go back to sleep and he really doesn't want to if he's just going to have another nightmare. He looks out his bedroom window. It's still dark outside. He goes to his desk and picks up the iPad that Alison had given him. She had also given him an iPhone and gift cards so he could buy music or apps. Brent had tried to tell her it was too much but she only smiled and dismissed his protest.

"I'm going to spoil my first grandson," she said.

"There's no fighting her Brent," Matt said.

"That's right," she said, "I always win."

Brent wished he'd known his own grandparents. They had passed away when he was little and he didn't have any clear memories of them.

Brent opens the Netflix app and brings up a television show he had come across. The lead actor's attractive face is looking at him from the screen. There is something intriguing about the man. His deep blue eyes, jet black hair and fair complexion make him very striking. Brent wonders if it's that combination that got him his role as the vampire in the series. Brent watches the screen. There's a hot steamy scene with the female lead, the guy is almost naked. Brent wonders what it would be like to touch his sexy body. He feels a stirring in his boy parts. He reaches down and rubs himself through his briefs. Brent can't help but think the scene would be even hotter if the guy was with the other lead actor instead of the lead actress.

Brent's fingers slip his teenage erection out through the leg opening. He slowly begins stroking as he watches the guy on the screen. This is the first time he's been this aroused since before the clinic. He suddenly hears Wilson's voice in his head telling him this is wrong. He mentally yells at her to get the fuck out of his head. But she has ruined the moment. He releases his softening cock and turns off the show, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. Moving to his dresser, he quickly pulls on sweatpants and a shirt, exits his room and moves silently through the house not wanting to wake Matt or Bryan.

He pads silently out onto the front porch to sit and watch the sun come up. He doesn't feel as claustrophobic outside. He breathes deeply of the cool morning air. The sky is a deep pink as the sun begins to climb. He can hear the birds just beginning their morning songs. He's never paid attention to any of those sounds before. Maybe he hadn't heard them over the noise of the traffic. He likes where Matt and Bryan live. It's just far enough out to have peace and quiet but not so far that it takes hours to get to work or school.

Brent watches the color of the sky changing from deep pink to a softer pink and then to gold as the sun tops the trees. He wonders if Devyn has watched a sun rise. They didn't spend too many nights together but when they did neither of them had wanted to get up early. They had been too tired from late night stroke sessions and making sure they were back in their respective sleeping spots before their parents were up.

Brent is watching a squirrel running from one tree to another. He watches as the animal collects a few nuts and then runs to hide them inside a tree. He watches another squirrel collecting nuts as well. He wonders if the two are friends.

He watches the animals running around collecting their winter food. He wonders if the two squirrels feel alone. Brent knows that Matt and Bryan are trying to be there for him but they are still practically strangers. Before calling Matt for help he had only met them that one time at the mall. Other than that and what Devyn had told him, he knew nothing about them.

He had been watching the two over the past couple of days. Brent had noticed how often the two men would touch each other and kiss. He had often walked in on them during intimate moments. He had always felt a little guilty at interrupting the two but they never seemed to mind or be embarrassed. But he felt out of place being around them when they were like that. It made him feel uncomfortable. He knew that was more from what Wilson had done to him than anything else. He wanted to turn back time to when he and Devyn were just beginning to have feelings for each other. Life had been easier then. Everything was more exciting. Every time they would be alone with each other and could touch one another and kiss each other. Brent thinks that he and Devyn could have ended up like Matt and Bryan. They could've had that kind of loving and caring relationship.

I messed it up,' Brent thinks. I should have gone with him that day he showed up at my house. I should have grabbed my stuff and just left with him. We would be together right now.'

Closing his eyes, he leans back in the chair. By now the sun has risen enough for Brent to feel the warmth on his skin. It feels so good to just sit there, enjoying the peace. It makes him feel relaxed. He didn't get to see much sunshine at the clinic. He wasn't allowed outside without an escort. When he and Steven were imprisoned in the basement cells there was no sunlight at all.

Brent's mind starts to drift. He can remember sitting in a similar chair on a beach. He can remember Devyn sitting there beside him. They were both wet from the ocean. They had just finished a surfing lesson and were resting, letting the sun shine down on them. Devyn was telling Brent just how much improvement he had shown in just a couple of lessons.

"You're a natural, blondie," he said.

"Thanks, you're a good teacher." Brent's eyes studied the man sitting next to him. The chocolate brown hair was a bit shaggy. The guy needed a haircut but the shaggyness just made him that much more attractive. Brent's eyes traveled from the inviting lips over the broad shoulders to the man's defined chest and arms. The guy had a lean but muscular build.

"Come on." He stood and reached for Brent's hand.

Brent took it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere more private," he said.

Holding hands, the two walked along the beach. Brent could feel people looking at them but he didn't care. He walked beside the man towards the rocks at the end of the beach.

As they approached the rocks the man guided them out into the waves. The water was cool against Brent's feet as they moved out into the surf to go around the outcropping of boulders.

"Just where are we going?" Brent asked, as they walked further into the surf.

"Just around the corner." The two moved around the outcropping and then back into a secluded area. The spot was not large but it was private. "Now we can do this." Leaning in, the man kissed Brent's lips. Brent put his arms around the man and held him as they kissed. Brent's hands were sliding up and down the tan skin of the man's back. His hands slid lower to grip the firm ass cheeks inside the wet shorts.

"I'm so glad you signed up for my class." He kissed Brent's lips again. "I wish you were here longer."

"Me, too." Brent could feel the man's hand sliding lower. He could feel them slip inside his shorts. He felt the calluses against the smooth skin of his ass. Brent felt the fingers sliding between his cheeks into his crack. "Just where do you think you are going?"

"Oh, you know." The man's lips curved up into a sexy smile. "I'm going where we both want me to go."

The man's fingers found Brent's tight pink pucker and lightly teased it. He put his lips on Brent's and slid his tongue along them until they parted allowing him inside.

Brent's arm pulled their bodies tighter together. He loved the feeling of warm skin under his hands. He was fascinated by the feeling of the cables of muscles that he found on the man's shoulders and arms.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he told Brent, "but I just can't resist you." He kissed Brent again. His mouth covering the teenager's. His tongue pushed its way between Brent's lips. It's both demanding and yielding as Brent's tongue pushed back.

"You are so smooth," he said, his voice husky as he kissed Brent's neck and nipped at his earlobe.

"You are so sexy." Brent told him as he caressed the hard planes of the man's chest.

"I want you so bad," he said. His mouth is moving lower on Brent's bare chest. He took Brent's erect nipple between his lips and sucked on it.

"Oh yes," Brent gasped in pleasure, his fingers tangled in his lover's thick mop of brown hair.

"I want you, Brent." He pushed Brent's shorts down exposing first Brent's ass and then his teenage legs.

"No, we can't." Brent protested but he really didn't want to stop. "Someone might see."

The man didn't stop. He pushed Brent's shorts down his legs and kissed his flat belly while moving to kneel at Brent's feet. "No one will see us and even if they do, I don't care." He moved his hand between Brent's legs and lifted his teenage nuts. He lightly massaged Brent's balls and watched as the teenager's dew formed on the head of his cock. That cock was only a couple inches from his mouth. He couldn't resist the blonde boy. He couldn't stop himself from falling for him.

Brent could feel the man's moist breath cascading over his cock. He could feel the man's fingers fondling his smooth balls. He felt his tongue swipe across the head of his cock and he gasped in pleasure.

He looked up at Brent's young face. The teenager was so sexy with the evening sun behind him and his smooth body glistening with spray from the sea. "Oh, if you like that, then you will really like this." He leaned back in. His lips parted and slid over the head of Brent's cock. The man took him down to the base. He swallowed Brent in one fluid movement, his nose in his pubic hair. He was drinking in both the taste and the smell of this blonde stud.

"Oh yes, suck me," Brent moaned, holding tight to the man's head.

He began bobbing on Brent's cock, sucking the teenager from tip to base. He pulled off to lick his smooth nuts. "You taste so good."

"That feels so good." Brent watched as the man's lips once again slipped over his cock and down his shaft.

The man sucked quickly up and down Brent's rigid member. He pushed his fingers behind his wet balls. He parted his firm ass cheeks and found his little pink pucker. He pushed his moist finger against the tight anal ring.

"Oh, oh." Brent was panting. The finger slipped inside him. It moved in and out. It twisted left and right and then it hit a firm mound. It pressed his pleasure button. And Brent cried out. "Oh yes, CODY!"

Brent jerks awake. His heart is racing. "No!" He looks around confused for several moments. He doesn't know where he is. It begins to come back to him. He's with Matt and Bryan. He's on the front porch. He's been dreaming about Devyn, but it wasn't Devyn. His mind is confused as the memories of the dream start becoming fuzzy.

"Is everything alright?" Matt had been watching Brent for a few minutes from the doorway. The blonde boy had looked so angelic sleeping there. His lips had been curved up in the most peaceful smile. He had assumed Brent was having a pleasant dream.

Matt had been concerned when he saw Brent's door open and hadn't found the teenager inside. He'd been relieved to find Brent on the porch. He was moving to join him when he realized Brent was sleeping. He stopped and just watched the boy.

Both Matt and Bryan had thought Brent would start opening up to them more after the custody case, once they had been awarded guardianship. But, instead, Brent had started rebuilding his walls. It seemed the closer they got to the first visitation with Brent's parents, the thicker those walls became.

"Yeah, I guess I fell asleep." Brent can still feel the man's hands. He can still feel the man's lips. He can still remember the taste of the salt water on those sexy lips. He is trying to piece the dream back together. He thought it was Devyn but knows now it wasn't. He couldn't place the man at all. He had shouted the man's name, a name he no longer remembered. He silently cursed the large hole in his memory. He couldn't help but wonder if this man was someone he had known. Was it someone he had previously fantasized about? But the moment was lost. The harder he tried, the more the memory slipped away. The one thing that Brent knows for sure is it wasn't Devyn, even though he looked a lot like him. Maybe he was picturing how Devyn would look in a few years? But this guy was more sure of himself. Brent tries to push down the memory of the dream.

Matt sits down in the chair next to Brent. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Matt studies the boy's face. Brent had looked angelic as he was sleeping. His lips were curved up into a smile as he dreamed. It wasn't until the end when Brent had jerked awake that there had been any stress on the teenager's face.

"I'm fine," Brent said. "It was just a dream."

Brent's heart rate is returning to normal. It had been beating so fast when he first woke up. The erection he had when he woke up was also starting to subside. He wonders if Matt had noticed it. He looks into Matt's eyes. If the man had seen the tent pole in Brent's sweatpants, he was giving no indication of it.

"It appeared to be a good dream," Matt said, as he takes a drink from the coffee cup he is holding. "You were smiling right up to the end. But then you yelled so loud that you frightened the animals off."

"Were you watching me?" Brent is a bit surprised.

He looks at Matt closely. It looks like the man has just gotten up. His hair is still a little disheveled and he is shirtless, only wearing a pair of tan shorts. Brent can't stop his eyes from skimming over Matt's muscular chest and arms. He's watching as the man's bicep flexes as he bends his arm to drink more of the hot coffee. Matt's chest is hairier than Bryan's, covered with reddish-brown hair compared to Bryan's dark blonde hair.

"I saw your door was open and didn't see you inside," Matt explained. "I was just checking on you. I've never had kids before so I'm not sure how, um, all of this is supposed to work. I just wanted to be sure you're alright."

Brent feels a warm feeling in his chest at Matt's words. Brent can tell the man cares about him. It is clear in Matt's words and eyes.

"I just woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep," Brent explains.

Matt and Bryan both seem to care about him. They seem to be more concerned than his own father. It would have been so much easier if Matt and Bryan had been his parents. He and Devyn would be together right now.

The face of the man in Brent's dream flashes in front of him again and Brent pushes it away. He can't figure out where the image came from. He wonders if it is from a movie or a television show.

"That happens," Matt said. "Sometimes I come out here to watch the sunrise when I wake up early. I try not to make much noise so Bryan can sleep. He can fall asleep at the drop of a hat but wakes up really easy."

"Does that come from his time in the Marines?" Brent asked.

"I think so," Matt answers. "He needed that ability to get rest when he could but also be able to be wide awake at a moment's notice."

"It had to be scary for him serving in a war zone." Brent wonders just how bad that would be. Would it be like the movies or would it be worse?

"Probably almost as bad as what you went through." Matt watches Brent closely. He sees the surprise in his blue eyes. "Bryan knew what he was getting into when he signed up. You did not. Bryan had a choice, you did not."

"I guess," Brent said, looking down.

He sees Matt's bare feet and long sexy legs. Brent feels a familiar stirring in his boy parts. The man is sexy and he is only partially dressed. Brent has a momentary impulse to run his hands over Matt's legs. He wonders what the hair would feel like. He wonders what Matt has inside those tan shorts. Brent feels blood surging into his cock. He tries to push the thoughts away. He doesn't want another boner. He shifts a bit in the chair so if wood is showing, hopefully it won't be as noticeable.

"Want to tell me about the dream?" Matt asks, his voice soft. "It looked good right up to the end."

"It was just a dumb dream." Brent didn't understand it. The man in the dream looked like Devyn but it wasn't. He wonders if he might be losing his mind.

Matt can see that Brent is still distressed by the dream. He wants so badly to help the teenager. "You know it might help you make sense of it by talking about it."

"But it doesn't make sense," Brent said. "That's the whole problem. Nothing makes sense anymore."

"Tell me what it was about." Matt's voice is gentle. He wants to encourage Brent to talk but he doesn't want to push the boy.

"I was on a beach at the ocean." Brent wonders if it's a memory or just a fantasy.

"Sounds nice so far," Matt said. "Have you been to the ocean before?"

"I, um, don't think so," Brent said, but his voice doesn't sound sure. "The dream felt so real and the guy..."

"This guy," Matt asks, his lips curving up, "was he cute?"

"He was," Brent said. "We, um, made out."

"Nice." Matt wonders if Brent is remembering Alex.

"We, um, were, um, doing a little more than just making out." Brent feels his face blush at the admission.

"That's even better," Matt said, wanting to encourage Brent to confide in him.

"Sometimes stuff I remember seems like it happened to another person," Brent said. "This dream felt so real. I really thought it was something that had happened, but Devyn and I were never on a beach. At least not like that."

"Maybe you were on a beach with some other guy?" Matt wonders if he should ask Brent about Alex. He wonders if saying the boy's name will bring that memory to the front of Brent's mind.

"Devyn is my only, um, boyfriend you know." Brent feels his face blush slightly at the admission.

"Really, no other boys?" Matt wants so badly to get Brent to remember Alex. He thinks maybe if there was another boy in Brent's heart, then telling him about Devyn would be easier.

"No!" Brent's voice was sharp. "There is only Devyn."

"Alright," Matt said, holding up a hand at Brent's abrupt rebuke. "I just thought maybe there was a boy before Devyn. Or maybe you met someone after Devyn."

"This guy wasn't even a boy," Brent said, a little more softly. He feels bad about snapping at Matt. "He was older. Not a lot older, but a few years older."

Matt wonders again if it was Alex. Alex is a few years older than Brent. Should he mention the name? Should he see if that will pull something from Brent's memory?

Brent continues before Matt can say anything. "There was no one but Devyn. Hell, I'll probably never have anyone again. No one is going to want me."

Bryan is just coming out on the porch with his own cup of coffee. He hears Brent's last statement. He knows Brent is wrong about that. 'Once he is passed what Wilson did to him, the guys will be lining up for him,' Bryan thinks.

"Sure, they will. You are a good looking guy. You are sweet and kind. Some boy is going to be really lucky to be your guy," Bryan said.

Brent can see the sincerity in Bryan's blue eyes but he can't make himself believe it. Brent gets up moving to the railing of the porch. He leans on his arms looking over the yard. He sees the squirrel coming back to begin collecting acorns again. "I'm too fucked up for that. I don't think I can have a normal relationship."

"Sure, you can," Matt said, getting up and moving to Brent. He places his hand on Brent's back. He feels the teenager tense up but the boy does not pull away. Matt believes this is a little progress.

"Don't lie," Brent said. "I should have died in that place. You two would be better off."

Bryan takes the few steps to the railing. He pulls Brent around forcing the teenager's blue eyes to meet his own. "Don't ever say that." Brent tries to pull away but Bryan's grip is firm. Bryan can see the pain in his eyes. He can see the tears shimmering. The blue looking more like pools of water than Bryan had ever seen. "Do not ever say that again," Bryan stresses his words. "We care about you so much. More than I think you can understand. We just want that fun loving kid that's buried inside you to come back out."

Again, Brent can read the truth in Bryan's expressive eyes. He looks down at the gray sleeveless shirt Bryan is wearing. It is a slightly darker shade than the gray shorts. Brent has a momentary impulse to throw his arms around Bryan but he pushes it down.

"The stuff that was done to you," Matt said, stepping closer and sandwiching Brent between them, "was horrible. I can't even begin to imagine it."

"You don't want to," Brent firmly assures.

"I will do whatever it takes to help you cope with it," Matt said. Matt's own eyes were shimmering with tears. "If that means reliving it with you, then I will do it."

"No one should have to do that," Brent said. He looks down at their bare feet.

These guys who had not even really known him before that phone call had given up part of their life for him. They had brought him into their home. They were fighting for him against his parents. Brent hadn't known men like this really existed.

"You don't know this guy," Bryan said. "His shoulders are big enough for anything you can dump on them. Trust me, I have dumped a lot of shit on them."

Brent looks from Bryan's into Matt's emerald eyes. He can see the tears there on the surface. He can see the hurt he was causing him. "I'm sorry," Brent mutters. "I am just so, so messed up. I don't know which way to jump."

"Then stop jumping," Bryan said. "Just relax and find your center. Once you find that, everything else will fall into place."

Matt looks at his partner, a question in his eyes. "Where did that come from?" They seem to ask.

"I'm not even sure what that means," Brent said.

"You will figure it out," Bryan said, still gripping Brent so the teenager can't pull away. He wants the boy to understand that he is loved.

"He's right Brent," Matt said, sliding his arms around Brent and Bryan. "You are stronger than you think." Matt can feel Brent tensing up but at least the boy is not trying to pull away.

Bryan's grip loosens and turns into a hug. He is holding Brent tight as Matt is holding them both.

The tension that Brent was feeling at their contact seems to melt away. All he feels from Bryan and Matt is love and caring. He feels tears in the corners of his eyes. He doesn't understand why these guys care so much for him but he is thankful they do. He closes his eyes and the tears slide down his cheeks. He gives a silent thank you to whatever force brought Matt and Bryan to him. "Thanks guys," he manages to say through the tightness in his chest. Brent is learning just how safe it feels being in Matt and Bryan's arms. He can feel the heat of Matt's body against him. He can feel the hard muscles of both men as they hold him. He rests his head against Bryan's chest and hears the reassuring sound of the man's heartbeat. Brent feels Matt tenderly kiss his cheek, letting the feelings of tenderness and caring soak into him.

#

"Good morning Matt," Albert greets Matt as he comes into the office. "How are you this Monday morning?"

"I'm alright Albert," Matt said. "What is my schedule like today?"

"Today is not bad but the rest of the week is crazy," Albert said.

"Just what I need, a crazy week," Matt said. "I'm going to leave a little early for a personal appointment this afternoon."

"You have the time this afternoon," Albert said. "But you have no free time the rest of the week. That woman!" Matt knew that when Albert said 'that woman' with that tone that he was referring to Lucy at the front desk. Albert had no tolerance for her. "I don't know who decided to give her scheduling privileges. She set up a meeting for you on Tuesday afternoon."

Matt had blocked off that time slot because it was Brent's first visitation with his parents. He didn't know how it was going to go or what kind of emotional turmoil Brent would be in after that meeting. "I can't do it," Matt begins, but Albert held up a hand.

"I've already fixed it," Albert said. "You know that little Trollop actually tried to tell me how to do MY job."

Matt can't stop his lips from curving up into a smile. He can just imagine what kind of chewing out Lucy got. Albert did not take shit off anyone and he definitely was not going to take it off Lucy.

"I told that little bitch that I know just how to take care of My job and MY man and to keep her ass back."

Matt can't tell if Albert is joking or not. "You didn't?"

"I most certainly did. She won't be touching your calendar again," Albert said emphatically.

"Thanks Albert," Matt said. "You are the best."

"I know that."

"At least you're modest," Matt said. "What about that mysterious message she took while I was off?"

"I never did figure out who that was, but I did call and leave a message on his voice mail with my direct number. I have to say who ever he is he sounds damn sexy. He's got baritones that sent shivers right to my..."

"Albert!" Matt said, laughing. "Did you get his full name?

"No, it's even more confusing now," Albert said. "You know she wrote his name down as Devlin but the voice mail was for a guy named Joe. With that sexy voice, I hope it is Joe."

"Wait, could it be 'Devyn'?" Matt presses, a feeling of hope rising within him.

Albert looks at the message again. "It looks like Devlin but I guess it could be Devyn. Of course the voice mail said Joe."

Matt squashes his momentary flicker of hope that Devyn is alive. He knows that Frank wouldn't be mistaken about his own son being dead. "I don't know a Joe or a Devlin. Just let me know what you find out when he calls back."

"You know, she might have even written the number down wrong," Albert said, looking at the message one last time. "Either way, I'll enjoy talking to this Joe guy. I might even ask him out." Albert looks up at Matt lifting his eyebrows suggestively.

Matt chuckles at Albert's expression. "Good luck with that and thanks. I needed the laugh this morning. I'm not sure what I would do without you."

"You'd be a gay mess," Albert said.

"I know I'd be lost without you," Matt assures him and gives Albert's shoulder a squeeze as he moves towards his office.

#

Matt had been postponing this appointment with Dr. Drake. He had wanted to wait until after the court case. But now that Brent's first court ordered visitation with his parents is tomorrow, he knows he can't postpone it anymore. He has to know if Brent is strong enough to face his parents and to hear the other truths.

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice." Matt takes a seat across from the doctor.

"I'm happy to make time for you," Dr. Drake said. "I know this is going to be a rough week for you and Brent."

"It's going to be really rough on him," Matt said. "Is he strong enough?"

"You understand I can't go into specifics about what Brent has told me." Dr. Drake is watching Matt closely. He hopes the man understands that he will not violate the trust Brent has given him.

"I do understand," Matt said. "I want Brent to trust you. I do not want you to betray anything that he has told you in confidence. I just want to know if he is strong enough for this visitation. I don't want seeing his parents to cause him a setback."

"I believe Brent is as ready as he is going to be for that meeting," Dr. Drake said. "It might actually make him confront some issues that he has pushed down inside."

"Is he, um, coping with what was done to him at the clinic?" Matt was concerned that Brent still wasn't dealing with those horrible memories. He can only imagine what Brent had been put through in that hell.

"He has started sharing a little bit about his time at the clinic," Dr. Drake said. "It's not much and it doesn't really focus on what was done to him. He talks more about his friends there." Dr. Drake is facing Matt who is sitting on the leather sofa where Brent would normally sit. Dr. Drake has his leather note pad on his lap as he is talking with Matt. "It is going to take time but he will get better. I am encouraging him to talk to you and Bryan about what happened in the clinic."

"He hasn't talked to us much about that, but he is starting to open up. I would say he had a breakthrough after the custody case."

"I thought he might," Dr. Drake said. "Stress can often cause hidden emotions to come to the surface."

"He had a good cry and I think it helped," Matt said, taking a breath. "There are two things that I want to talk to you about."

"Alright."

"Has Brent mentioned a boy named Alex?" Matt had been wanting to talk to the doctor about Alex for a while but work and the custody case had prevented him from getting to the subject. Matt had called Alex and told him that he and Bryan had been awarded custody. Alex had sounded genuinely excited.

"No," Dr. Drake said hesitantly. "But he has talked about a different boy extensively."

"Devyn?" Matt was certain if Brent hadn't talked about Alex, it would be Devyn.

Dr. Drake looks down at his notes. "That's him. I've heard so much about him that if I were a sketch artist, I could draw him."

"Shit," Matt said. "I was afraid of that."

"I think it might be good for Brent to see him again." Dr. Drake sees the stressed look on Matt's face. "Is that a problem?"

Matt takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. "Yes. Devyn died. I haven't been able to tell Brent. He's so fragile and I'm afraid telling him will break him. They were boyfriends. They were each other's first love."

"He is focusing more and more on him." Dr. Drake said, looking at his notes. "Brent is still very emotionally fragile. He has told me so much about this other boy that I almost feel like I know him. I think if you can wait until he is a little more stable it will be better for his recovery. Telling him now might send him into an even deeper state of depression."

"I don't like keeping this from him," Matt admits. "It has been hard not to tell him when he has mentioned Devyn."

"How did Devyn die?" Dr. Drake asks.

"We don't know," Matt answers. "I only found out shortly before receiving Brent's call for help. I haven't had an opportunity to look into it."

"I think finding out the details before telling Brent would be best. He is going to need to know that to accept losing this boy."

"Brent has not mentioned Alex?"

"No, is that someone that is important to Brent?" Dr. Drake asks.

Matt proceeds to tell the doctor about Alex and how the two boys had dated. "Alex said they loved each other. I believe he is being honest about his feelings. The strange thing is Brent doesn't remember him. He remembers Devyn but not Alex."

"It would seem Brent is blocking out the memory of Alex for some reason." Dr. Drake is making notes as he talks. "The mind is very complex."

"One other thing," Matt pauses, "Alex looks a lot like Devyn."

"They resemble each other?" Dr. Drake makes another note.

"Same Brown hair and similar eyes," Matt said. "Alex is a little older than Devyn. He's got the same basic build."

"That is concerning."

"Should I let them meet?" Matt asks.

"Let me have a few more appointments with Brent," Dr. Drake said. "I will keep this in mind and see if he is stable enough for that."

#

"This whole situation is crazy," Bryan said when he and Matt are alone. Matt had told him about meeting with Dr. Drake.

"It is," Matt said, moving to the window to look outside. "He still has feelings for Devyn but there's this other guy that has strong feelings for him. I just don't understand Brent not remembering Alex at all."

"I think it is all part of the trauma," Bryan said, moving to look out the window with Matt. "He's focusing on Devyn because he was his first love. He draws strength from that."

"But not remembering a boy he spent months with." Matt faces Bryan. "Nothing could make me forget you."

"Or me, you." Bryan lovingly touches Matt's face and then moves in and kisses him. "Brent's mind is doing what it needs to do to help him survive."

"Really, I guess the kid is doing better than could be expected." Matt turns back to the window to look at Brent. He wonders what Brent is thinking about sitting on the deck in the sun.

"Tomorrow is going to be rough for him," Bryan said as he massages Matt's shoulders.

"Hell, it is going to be hard on us," Matt said. "Oh, that feels damn good." He closes his eyes and lets Bryan work the knots out of his shoulders.

"With our support, he will get through it," Bryan said and kisses Matt's neck.

"Yes, and with your support I can get through anything." Matt turns to face Bryan. He places his hand on the back of Bryan's head and kisses him hard and deep.

#

Copyright 2021 by Keith yates (keith.96@att.net) all rights reserved.

No copying, reposting, or distributing is permitted without the author's written consent.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it. Thomas Paine

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. Thomas Paine

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture. Thomas Paine

Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine