Breathe

Breathe

By Fran Avatar

Warning! This ain't your usual type of story here at Nifty's. Oh sure, there's plenty of femme domme, plenty of forced feminization, plenty of high heels, plenty of super sexy femme outfits, plenty of bondage, plenty of SM, plenty of implants, and plenty of all those other key words about things we all love. But that's not the whole of this tale and there are parts in the telling of it which do get a bit... intense.

I originally wrote and published this back in 2003. You might pick up on that from a few things in the tale which make it seem almost a "period piece" but they fit in the story still. I'm posting it here again as it seems to have disappeared from the Nifty archive. - Fran

Breathe, dammit! Breathe. Just calm down. Get your act together. I tell myself. This is it. This is my last chance. I run through my plans, again. Christ! They aren't good enough. They're too risky! Too many chances! It'll never work! Stop! They will work. They HAVE to work. This is the only chance I've got.

I look in the mirror again and check myself, again, for any fault. Just in case some fault crept in since the last time I looked myself over. A minute ago. No, my makeup is still perfect. My wig is on just right. My slutty little lacy nightie is on just right. My pretty pink panties are on just right. My pretty pink mules - the ones with the little pink fluffy ball above the toes – are on just right. And I'm just a step from the door to my room (my cell, actually) so I can quickly flounce into position the moment I hear Diana coming in.

I know she'll be here shortly. She HAS to be here shortly. Terry, that big dumb bastard, will only take so long schtuping that Asian girlie boy in room 27 and I need Terry to be fully occupied and not at his security desk. This is my only chance and it won't work if he's there watching his screens.

Tonight is THE night. My last chance. They've just had some big party and I know that most of the trainers and staff are now either off the grounds or back up in their rooms sleeping it off. They used me pretty damn good during that party but I knew that Diana would want a piece of me later on. She usually does on night's like this and I wasn't wrong in guessing so tonight. Not that this held any of the rest of them back. They fucked me and beat me and did their usual humiliation games like they normally do. They've gotten comfortable with that, comfortable with me and with the idea that they've broken me. And why not? They've no reason to think otherwise. I've given them no reason to think otherwise. I did that in preparation for a night like tonight.

It's been a long time coming. I fought things at first. I fought back and that was... bad. They hurt me for that. Hurt me, bad. Hurt me for a long time. Then they left me alone so I had a chance to recover. Then they came back and hurt me again. And again. And... crap! I've got to stop this! They WILL NOT EVER HURT ME AGAIN! NOT AFTER TONIGHT! Breathe, dammit! Get a grip! Get into the act. That's it. Think ahead of them. I can do this.

I look into the mirror again and push up on my tits. Yes, my tits. My big, beautiful tits. Christ, what are these things? 38D's? 40's? They're fucking obscene. Between the hormones I've been on and the "augmentation" surgery they put me through I look like some fucking milk cow. There is precious little left of me, Mr. David Wilson, left looking back from the mirror. Nice pouty collagen lips, pert little nose, luscious big tits, and nicely shaped figure, silky smooth skin, and a shriveled up little dick with an even smaller ballsac. Between all that and the beatings they thought that was enough to have shattered me and made me surrender to my fate. Whatever fate that is. For some of the other guys they've hauled in here their treatment plainly has been enough.

Debbie in room 18 is good example of that. They broke her to pieces. Then they ground those pieces to powder. I think she lost it when they snipped it all off. I've seen what's left. Hell, Diana jammed my face into it many a time. Told me to lick Debbie-kins `till she came. And she told Debbie to cum on command or she'd beat her some more. These days, Debbie is pretty much catatonic. She can walk and stuff, and she instantly follows any command given her, but inside she's dead. They killed her. I'm not going to be like that. Not me.

All this surgery they've done can be reversed. I can get these fucking tit implants removed. I can have my face resculpted back to what I used to be like. I'm pretty sure that once I'm off those damn female hormones my body's own hormones will reassert themselves. Even if I have to start taking testosterone to correct the damage done it'll still be worth it. Unless that is, I wind up with no dick. No going back after that. And that is what I know they have planned for me. Diana has hinted as much. She's let slip as much when she's thought I was too out of it too hear. She doesn't fear me and has no reason to, really. She and the rest of them have done that good a job of grinding me down.

Their beatings, the drugs, the conditioning program and the damn punishment collar they've locked around my cock and balls are what have done this. None of them have to even lay a hand on me or break a sweat. They just touch the button of their controller and I'm zapped into agony. Sometimes they'll just do it for kicks or just to remind me of who's in charge. And it works too. That damn thing is so powerful they've knocked me out with it. It hurts that much. Well, no more of that. I've got to be fast tonight and get her before she realizes what's happening and has a chance at pressing that button on her controller. I hear her boot heels out in the hallway. This is it. I bounce up from the vanity and scoot over to my position by the door to stand ready for my "mistress." All nice and docile and fearful. Like the good little sissy they've made me.

Diana comes into the room like she owns the damn place. Sneering and vicious. As usual. I truly hate this woman.

"Well, you worthless piece of shit, I see you can at least be ready on time." She sneers at me. Of course I can be ready on time. I've been ready for twenty minutes now. It's you who are never on time. I think in my head. I keep my eyes down and head bowed as I curtsy, lifting up the sides of my skirt as I do so.

"Yes, mistress. Thank you mistress. How can I please you, mistress?" I say in my singsong girly voice.

"You stupid cow. You must have been fucked even more senseless tonight. You know what I'm here for and what to do. Present!"

At this, I hold out my arms in front of me with my wrists close together. This is a standard position we've been trained to do. This allows our trainers to more easily put the handcuffs on us. As Diana wants to take me back upstairs she'll also be putting on the leg shackles and then running the chain between them. That is, if she was being careful. But with me, being the broken pathetic excuse for a man that she knows me to be, she won't do all that. It'd take too long and she's too hungry. She wants to hurt me some more. I'm counting on this. I'm counting on her being just a bit too sloppy and careless. My life depends on this.

Taking the cuffs from the hook on her belt, Diana swiftly places them about my wrists. Some of the other trainers like using leather shackles or the stamped metal handcuffs most cops use. Not Diana. Such implements are far too common for her. No, she likes using these big heavy handcuffs imported from Germany. The things weigh some five pounds apiece and are bulky as all hell. She gets a kick out of see her charges deal with that weight. In our weakened state they are hard to deal with. The hormones, diet, and lack of exercise have all seen to that. They're hard to deal with but not impossible to deal with. At least not for how I want to deal with them.

I let my arms sag a little bit from the weight of the cuffs and she snaps at me to keep them up. "Fucking weakling! Hold them up or I'll zap you right here and now!" she hisses. I snivel appropriately and bite my lip. That brings a smirk to her lips and she then unclips the leg shackles from her belt. Knowing she has nothing to fear from me, Diana bends down to attach the shackles to my ankles. She is in the perfect position. This is exactly what I've planned for. This is exactly what I've hoped for. I've no other chance. This is it. Looking down, I take a quick, deep breath, and I strike.

I pull back, bring my hands together, wind up, and I quickly bring my arms down at her head. The impact knocks her off her feet and staggers me too. The shock and pain in my wrists is intense. But I'm not done because she's not done. Before she do anything, I fall on her and hit her with the handcuffs again. Right into the side of her skull. I reel back and hit her again. I'm on top of her now and I hit her skull again. And again. I've knocked her out now as she's not even struggling anymore. I'm seeing red. Nothing but red. Red rage and hate and anger and I keep hitting her and hitting her and hitting her and... I stop. I stop and I breathe.

I stop and I look around. It takes me a second or two – far too long – to snap out of it and come back. I've done it. I'm committed now. No going back. No matter what, I'm dead now if I fail. Christ, I hope Terry is still fucking his latest toy. If he's anywhere near his monitors then I'm screwed. But I can't think of that now. I have to get everything else done first.

Quickly, I fish out the key from Diana's grip and I unlock the leg shackles and then my handcuffs. Then I strip off my sissy outfit and lay out the black number in the closet. I selected it as it was the only one which was even close to what Diana would be wearing. Thank god she decided to wear her jacket down to get me as there'd be no way I could hide my chest in anything else and that alone would be too great a difference to get away with.

I drag Diana into the bathtub and then I start work on the worst part of my whole plan. Well, the whole plan is the worst but this particular part is the most gruesome. The primary reason the staff her has gotten so damn sloppy with their security is because they have such a good security system. No passcodes or ID cards to get lost or stolen. It's all biometrics. Specifically, it's all based on retinal scanning. I know, I've watched them go through it enough. They just walk up to the scanner and put their eye to it and, presto, the door unlocks and they're through. None of us sissies would stand a chance of getting anywhere in the compound so they don't worry about that. And if any of us do get uppity then we can be zapped from a comfortable distance. But, first things first. If I'm to get out of her alive I have to get through those security doors. I rather doubt Diana would be so kind as to help me with this and there's no way I could threaten or coerce her in my current feminized state.

This was the hardest bit of my plan and one that took me the longest to get past. Not the planning of it but the accepting of it. Even now, with everything depending upon it, I'm still glad I didn't have anything to eat tonight. Anything beyond the cum the men shot down my throat earlier.

I wedge Diana's head against the bathroom floor and I take the handcuffs in my hands and I look down at her. I think she might still be alive. But I doubt it. I can't stop now. If I do they'll make sure I die real, real slowly. If I'm lucky that is. I've no doubt of that. I know what they're capable of. That doesn't make doing this any easier. God I hate this. This is not me! This is not who I am! I swallow deeply and take another breath then I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. The lips, the tits, the feminized sissy looks back at me. No, this is not how I am either. Some of that red comes back into my vision. I look down at Diana again, take another deep breath and I bring the handcuffs down on the side of her skull. Hard. Right next to her eyeball. Again, I hit her skull. And again. And again. I keep mashing her skull until I hear the bones break and pop. There's blood spattered everywhere and my hands are getting slippery from it. I keep telling myself that this is the only way. The only way I'm going to survive this nightmare.

I grab a towel and wipe off the damage I've done. I think I've opened things up enough to get at it. I take the knife Diana always has with her and I begin cutting into the pulp I've made of her skull. The knife is tiny thing, it slips into the buckle of the belt she likes wearing. She always wears that belt when she's "training" us gurls. It's probably against the security policy for her to have a weapon when being around us sissies but, Diana is Diana and gets away with it because she can and because they're sloppy. This is much harder then I thought it would be. Oh, I don't kid myself. I know I've fantasized about this moment. Every time she beat me or zapped me or laughed when the doc injected more hormones into my nuts. I've wanted her dead and wanted her to suffer as she died. But this is different. This is reality. This is sickening. This is necessary.

I've finally cut away enough and wiped away enough that I have what I'm after. I gingerly cut away the muscles which hold her eye into its socket and I then cut off the optical nerve in back. Holding it up I see I've not pulped the eye in getting it. That was one risk I had to take. I couldn't cut the eye out alone. At least I didn't think I could so I had to get to it this way. Luckily, it doesn't appear to be damaged. At least not to the point I can't use it. This is so fucking macabre. I quickly wash it off and pop it into a little latex pouch. The same pouch Diana had me put my buttplug in whenever she had me uncorked for fucking. A nice irony there but I'm too busy and too sickened to laugh at it now.

Instead, I wipe up the mess I've made, wipe the blood of myself, throw the towels in the bottom of the tub, and squeeze what's left of her skull into the hood from the "latex doll" outfit they'd given me. Then I haul Diana's corpse into the bed. I quickly shackle her spread eagled and throw the covers over her body. I've slept many a night in just that position and in just that hood, so this way, if anyone does a casual room check they'll think I'm back in that just position again and not out in the hallways, running for my life.

I quickly grab up that black outfit and shimmy into it. My hands are shaking now but I can't afford to stop. As I put on the least obscene pair of pumps I have, ones only distantly close to what Diana was wearing to get me tonight, I run through my plans again and do so as a means of steadying myself. That and I breathe again. Nice and deep. I grab everything up, straighten the room quickly. Then I grab up Diana's zapper and shrug into the jacket. It doesn't fit. At least not properly and especially not with these two fucking balloons on my chest. But it'll do. Then I grab the black pageboy wig and set that onto my head. I'm pretty practiced at this bit now. I should be, they've trained me enough at it and beat me and zapped me enough when I've not gotten it perfect. In just a few seconds (far too long) I'm ready. Well, I'm ready as I'll ever be. From a distance, and with nothing more than a casual glance, I should look something like Diana. Except that I'm taller, heavier, and have double her tit size. It'll have to do. It WILL do. It HAS to do.

I go to the door and notice that my hands are wet. Sopping wet. I'm sweating that bad. I wipe them off on my dress, take another breath, and open the door. Terry is not standing there. I could cry at that. I knew he wouldn't be. He couldn't be. If he was there then I'd be dead and all of this would have been just a cruel hope. But I feared he might be. I brushed my hand by my waistband and reassured myself, again, that I had Diana's knife there. It was. Screwing up every bit of courage I had and every bit of acting skill I ever thought I possessed, I stepped out into the hallway. No alarms sounded. And nor did I double over in agony from getting zapped. Well, no time to ponder this.

I quickly crossed the way to room 18 and popped it open. None of our doors have locks. Debbie was there, just as I'd hoped. Even asleep she looked broken. I flicked on the lights and hissed out her name. Almost instantly she was awake and then out of her bed onto her knees and in the proper position. Totally submissive. I counted on that. I quickly grabbed a simple outfit from her closet and threw it at her. In my best "mistress voice" I sneered "Put this on, cow, and be quick about it." She scurried to comply. I threw her a pair of shoes as I got her day collar and lead out. Like the fully trained sissy she had become, Debbie-kins was ready in a flash. I snapped the cuffs on her wrists, and the collar on her throat. I figured the leg shackles would slow us down too much and I'd seen her hauled around plenty of times without them. It was a risk but I figured it was one I had to take.

Snapping the lead on her collar I hauled her out into the hallway and made for elevator. This was going to be the real test. I had to get by Terry to reach the elevator. Rounding the corner, sure enough, that bastard was back at his chair. He must have just gotten done fucking his toy for the night because he had that sleepy look to his face. Good. I needed that.

I'd been watching how Diana moved so I could mimic it for just this moment. Big dumb Terry. He was nicely muscled and all, and he truly threw a good fuck, but especially after he's just cum he's not the brightest bulb. In his defense, there was no reason he should suspect anything. Who would ever try and break out of here and do so the way I was. And at first glance I sure looked like one of the trainers bringing along a late night snack to take up to my room.

As I marched past him I gave an unexpected jerk on the leash causing Debbie to stumble at his feet. That jerked Terry up and he moved to get Debbie out of his way. "Stupid bitch, get off of me!" He snarled. Perfect. His back was to me and he was bent down a bit dealing with Debbie.

Terry wasn't the worst of the bunch. Aside from the bitches, like Diana or Jennifer, there was Alex and Jonathan, but he wasn't the most pleasant to deal with either. I also knew that if he even suspected something amiss I'd be dead meat. In a way, this part was harder then it was with Diana. I truly hated Diana and did so with every bit of my being but I didn't hate Terry the same way or as much. In another way, it was much easier. I was already committed now so one more corpse at my feet would make little difference. Diana's knife was in my hand and, in a flash, it was in Terry's throat. I sunk it in as deep as I could and pulled. I felt it slice through a whole bunch of things before he reared up and knocked me off of him. He didn't say anything, he couldn't, all he could do was gurgle a bit as his blood flowed. I backpedaled as fast as I could. I didn't want him touching me even as he collapsed in his death throes.

He twitched a bit and then went limp. There was some blood on the desk and floor but not as much as I'd feared. Debbie was curled up in a little ball, terrified but she hadn't made a single sound. I quickly hauled Terry's body over to the little bathroom near his desk. It was a major chore stuffing a guy as big as he was into that phone booth sized room but I did. And I even managed not to get too much blood on me as I did so. I grabbed some towels from the bathroom and did my best to wipe away the obvious blood stains on the desk and floor. Then I closed it all up in the bathroom, grabbed Debbie's leash and pressed the button for the elevator. This was the next hurdle. The retinal scan.

When the elevator chimed that it had gotten down here to this level the scanner lit up. Freedom was just on the other side of that door. I just had to get past the scanner to reach it. Opening that pouch I pulled out Diana's eyeball. It was cold and felt slimy. This was it. I held the thing out in front of my own eye as I leaned into the scanner. I held my breath as the system cycled through. If that eyeball had become too damaged in the fighting or my cutting it out of Diana's skull then I was screwed. Everything hung on this moment. After an eternity of no more than its normal few seconds the scanner chimed positive and the door opened.

I breathed out and pulled Debbie in with me. Then I hit the button for the first basement level. This was another risk. I didn't know what sort of access was allowed at this hour of the night. Perhaps some parts of the complex were zoned out during these hours and my not knowing which parts those were would set of the alarms. There was no way I could tell about this but I knew I had to do this next part just as sure as I knew I had to do the first part. It was a long ride up those two levels to get to the workshop level. At least it seemed like a long ride. I was breathing pretty quickly when the elevator stopped and the doors opened. The hallway lit up as I walked down it. No labels on the doors, just room numbers. I had some idea of which was which but it took two guesses before I'd hit it right. I yanked Debbie inside as I shut the door. Not wanting any problems I told her to kneel quietly while her mistress was busy. Meekly, she complied.

I looked around the shop and hauled out what I needed as I also peeled myself out of my outfit enough to get to my zapper. The thing was locked around my cock and balls very securely and I knew it would take some work to get it off. I'd studied the thing closely enough to know I had no clue as to how to remove it the way it was intended to be removed. It was probably electronic or something and I didn't know which of the machines in the workshop would do that trick. I figured this would be the case so that's why I went for the Dremel and the cutting blades. This would be messy, be loud, and probably take too long but I had to do this. It would also most likely hurt like a motherfucker. I put on the safety goggles (no sense blinding myself too) and started cutting. It wasn't easy. The zapper collar was stainless and it wasn't easy holding it to cut it and holding the tool and holding myself out of the way at the same time. I also worried that it might have an anti-tampering device set in it which would zap me for trying to remove it this way. Well, I had to have the thing off or else I'd continue to be at its mercy. So I took the risk. And I cut the metal.

It was loud. It was slow. And after a bit, it was painful as the metal heated up from the cutting. Several times I had to stop and let things cool once the pain had gotten too great. I even risked shorting it out by cooling it with water. But I figured if I could bathe with the damn thing on then this too was a worthwhile risk. At least I hoped it was.

I cut through one side and then had to cut through the other side. I went through two blades doing so. All of which took too damn long. I knew that at any moment they were going to come in and that would be it. They'd just laugh, like they usually did, in their sneering way. And that would be it. My hands started to shake several times during the cutting and I had to stop and breathe to get under control again. I knew the hormones and drugs they'd been pumping me with weren't helping my nerves. At last though I finally cut through the last of it and the zapper fell away from my ballsac and onto the floor. I expected a loud metallic clang or some deep thud of the metal hitting the hard floor but there was nothing of the kind. Nothing so dramatic. Except for the fact that I was now free. No more electronic leash. No more zapper. Now I could really get going. I hoped. I was bleeding a bit from where I'd cut into myself while cutting into the zapper. That was painful alright but not like getting zapped. I stuff some paper towels down there to try and staunch the bleeding.

Looking around I found where the kept the other zappers. They were simple to attach and I snapped one closed and tried one of the remotes they had there to. I was careful to do this well away from Debbie as I didn't need her writhing on the floor in agony just now. The thing worked fine so I grabbed an open one and took the rig with me. Debbie and I were quickly back out at the elevator where I did my eyeball trick again. I was still holding my breath over it and wondering if they'd be there in the elevator when it opened. It worked and they weren't. We got in and I pushed the button for Diana's floor. My skin crawled as the elevator rose through the levels of the compound. I'd never seen the outside of the place and I had no real idea of where I was. I just knew I had to get out and that there were some things I needed to do first.

Finally, the elevator came to its stop and we were out in the hallway heading toward Diana's room. I was expecting to be jumped by the entire staff at any second as I strode over to her door. She'd had me up there on several occasions now and so to had the other trainers had me up to their rooms as well. I was a "good fuck" and "sniveled well" so I was in demand. I'd actually been sucking it up so I could get some idea of what the layout of the place was. And it was paying off.

As confidently as I could, I popped open the door to Diana's rooms and strode in. The place was mostly dark and appeared empty but I wanted to be sure first. Diana had a habit of bringing up a sissy so that she and some other trainer could play with them together. Getting done by two trainers at once was not a nice thing to experience and I figured that was her plan tonight. Hopefully the delay in getting up here wouldn't set any potential playmate to wondering. Perhaps they'd get bored or perhaps they'd occupy themselves otherwise. Or perhaps they'd light the place up checking what was wrong. Damn, my hands were shaking again. I did not need to think along those lines right now! I needed to be in control if I wanted to live through this!

I clamped down on myself and quietly worked my way through the rooms. As I feared, Diana had company. It was Jennifer. My lucky day, I thought, grimly. She was even worse than Diana. At least Diana would limit herself in how she treated us. She didn't do this out of any compassion for us, hardly that. Diana simply recognized that any damage done to a sissy might detract from its auction value. So she was careful to limit the damage she did to us. She still hurt us but nothing that'd cripple us or maim us. Cold comfort, that. Jennifer however, she just didn't seem to care.

I had to move fast. I guess she'd fucked herself out earlier in the evening and had slipped off to sleep while waiting for Diana's return. I slinked up as quietly as I could but it wasn't quietly enough, she stirred.

"Diana, baby, is that you? Honey, what took you so long? Wasn't the worm ready for you – or did you just get in some fun without me?" she purred as she stretched out on the bed. Her back was still to me and the lights were still dim. I knew she could see me approach through the reflection off the mirrors on the far wall. So, I played along. I kept on slinking toward the bed and smiled. Then I made the cooing noise I knew Diana would make when she's in lust with another trainer. I'd listened to the two of these ladies make such noises enough times from when they'd had me up there for their amusement. It seemed to work as Jennifer giggled, like she usually does. I sidled up to the bed and slithered up next to her. In another world and in another time I might have considered Jennifer a truly attractive woman. She was physically gorgeous and, when she wasn't shitting down my throat (as she'd done, literally) she could radiate just the sort of charm I found attractive in a powerful and strong woman. Perhaps that's what got me into this nightmare to begin with. Perhaps someone took my enjoying being dressed up and dominated by strong women as meaning I'd be perfect for this sort of program.

Well, they were wrong. I'd thought about this often enough. When I wasn't drugged out from the latest doses they pumped into me or when I wasn't wailing in agony from the latest beating they given me or when I wasn't laying there in pain from the latest surgery they'd inflicted on me, I'd had plenty of time to think of reasons why I'd gotten into this hellish world. All of which certainly deserved my thoughts and were worthy of exploring more thoroughly. But not right now. Right now I had to deal with this woman because at this moment this woman was the biggest threat to my life. There was no way I could take her on in a fight. She was far too strong and I was far too weakened. Even without the zap collar she'd still have it all over me. If I let her. I couldn't afford that. I had to take her out. I had to stop her from being a threat. I couldn't just knock her out. There was no way I could safely do that. She'd pounce all over me if I tried for that. No, I had to stop her far too quickly to even try and just incapacitate her. No, I had to kill her. Here and now. Quickly. Immediately. Right here and before she got wise to me.

Even as I softly ran one hand along her thigh and back, just like I'd seen Diana do, and even as I palmed the knife with my other hand, part of me was marveling at just how easy this was becoming. I guess it really is true that once you've crossed that line it is much easier to keep going. I got in close to her and brought my hips up to her body. She purred and nuzzled the pillows. Fleetingly I thought I trying to smother her but I dismissed that almost the instant I thought of it. No, there was no way out of this now.

As she brought her head up from the pillow and turned to look me in the face, I acted. Bringing the knife up as quickly as I could, I clamped on to her with my other hand and sank the knife into her kidneys. She reared back and twisted. I pulled the knife out and quickly ran it home into her stomach. She tore at me and twisted around. I plunged the knife in again, this time to its hilt. She screamed and backhanded me off of her. She was very, very strong. I rose up again to pounce on her but she kicked me away, connecting solidly with my left tit. She got up off the bed, staggered, and fell back onto it. Twisting to get up, she looked down at the knife still in her gut, looked over at me, and coughed up some blood. She made some unintelligible sound but the look of pure hatred on her face was unmistakable. So too though, was how pale her face was. She was bleeding profusely from her back and her front. She advanced toward me across the bed and I was terrified.

I scurried away from her, pushing myself across the floor on my backside. There was no way I could face this demon coming at me and she looked like hell incarnate as she pulled herself across the bed after me. My back was against the wall on the other side of the room before I realized that she was no longer moving. Her face was still contorted in its hateful rage. It took me a while, a good long while, before I realized that blood was no longer pumping from her wounds. If that meant anything at all, that meant she was dead. Very dead. I cried.

I broke down and cried. I lost it. Right then and there. All the tension and all the doubt and all the trauma just overwhelmed me right then. I'm not sure how long I'd lost it nor how long I sobbed into my hands. But when I finally came out of it Jennifer was still there on the bed and still just as dead. I'd half feared she'd arise and keep coming after me. It took me a while even after that to realize where I was and what I still had to do.

I hesitantly approached her body as if she'd spring back to life if I got too close. I screwed up enough courage to grab hold of the knife and heave it out of her corpse. Then I rolled her body up in the blanket and got it out of the way. I'd need that area of the bed to get set up. I turned and opened Diana's closets, taking off my blood stained outfit as I did so. I knew she had to have some outfits other than the fetish and trainer uniforms she wore when working on us downstairs. It took some looking but I eventually found some sweatpants and sweatshirt. Even the sweatshirt was a bit small going around my big tits. I didn't even try going after one of her bras to contain them, although a sport bra might have helped.

The new outfit eased my mind. Even though it was still a pretty femme bit of workout wear (Diana was always very femme in whatever she wore) it was a helluva lot different from the little sissy fetish things they had us wear.

Next I set to ransacking her room looking for other things to help me. Maps, cellphones, instruction manuals, anything that would help me get out of this hellhole. Not surprisingly, I didn't find a damn thing like that. I did find the main prize; her car keys. From the logo, she drove a Benz. I'd always thought of her as more of a Porsche lady or perhaps a BMW woman. Well, this would make it easier to find now I just had to find the garage. And then find a way out of it, and then get through the compound, and then get past the gate which no doubt secured the compound. Too many things were still in my way and there were still far too many ways it could all go wrong. But, one step at a time I told myself, again. And breathe, again. Grabbing a fanny pack out of the closet I stuff the gun and the keys into them. Now I needed shoes. There was no way I was going to run around in heels. Not and try to go outside in them but nor was there any way I'd fit into any of Diana's shoes either. Looking around, I didn't see Jennifer's shoes. Then I realized, Jennifer's rooms adjoined Diana's. Looking again, I saw that Jennifer's feet were somewhat closer to mine in size, so I decided to try next door.

I began creeping through the darkened rooms to check to see if I had the place to myself. I didn't. Jennifer had some stud in her bed, probably a guest from earlier in the night. Now what? Then I remembered the zap collar I'd brought up from downstairs. I quietly retreated to Diana's room and fetched it. Working my way back into Jennifer's bedroom I then worked my way into her bed and over to the sleeping man within it. At least I could put to good use some of the physical seduction skills they'd beaten into me. I slowly worked my way under the covers and found his cock. Nuzzling it, I could clearly tell he and Jennifer had been fucking long and hard earlier. My attentions soon had his attention and he began stirring in more ways than one. Smoothly and softly I took his cock into my lips and lavished all my skills on it. I could hear him moaning even through the blankets and sheets. As I was sucking his cock my hands were busy working his balls and shaft. I kept him busy enough with my lips and tongue that if he noticed my enclosing something around his jewels he didn't see fit to complain about it. When I was sure that I had the zapper on nice and securely I withdrew from under the covers.

As I poked my head out from under the blanket he purred "Oh, baby that's a wonderful way to wake a man up. Are you ready to go again?"

I stood up off the bed and flicked on the roomlight. Smiling, I said, "Yes, I am very ready to go." With that I pressed the zapper button on my remote and was rewarded by seeing this stud go from laying there, basking in pleasure, to writhing in agony. He didn't even make much noise. The pain zapping through his balls was that intense.

I waited for him to come back to this earth once again before I tried speaking with him. I knew exactly how painful that zapper could be. It took a while. I took advantage of his state to tie him off to the bed. I knew that all the trainers beds fully outfitted for bondage so I was able to make quick work of it while he was still recovering from the zapping.

"You bitch! What the fuck is with this? Who the fuck are you?" were his first, intelligible, words to me. I hit the zapper button again. Not as long this time as I didn't want to keep waiting so long for him to recover.

I ducked into the bathroom to wash off the mascara my crying jag had ruined. I grabbed up some of Jennifer's makeup and brought it out with me to the bedroom. It looked like wonderboy had stopped panting in pain, so I decided to lay it out for him.

"OK, sunshine, listen up. I'm getting out of here. I didn't want to be here and I don't want to stay here. You've got a choice, you can either help me, or at least stay out of my way, or you can wind up dead. I've already killed three people tonight to get this far. Killing you here and now doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me, got it?"

It was hard to tell if it was my words which were making him sweat or if it was leftover from the zapper. I knew I had his attention though.

I sat down next to him on the bed. "Now, let me see if I've got this right, you're not on staff here, are you? Oh come on sugar, you can answer me! What, you don't think I'm serious? OK, fair enough." With that I simply picked up the remote again and gave him another zap, very briefly this time. "OK, dreamboat, believe me now?"

"Fuck! Yes! Yes, I believe you!" he rasped out, panting again with agony.

"Good, now, like I said, you're a guest here, right? Just nod yes or no. Good. You came for the party, did you drive up here yourself? Cool! "So, have you been Jennifer's plaything before – and at this place?" I asked my bound stud.

"Yes" He answered. Hmm.. this could take longer than I wanted. I got up and began going through Jennifer's closets looking for other things to wear. My plan was changing now that I had wonderboy to use.

"Did you drive up here?"

Again, it was just a simple "Yes" in reply. I turned back to him, held up the remote and said, evenly, "Look, shithead, you can do better than that. I'm not going to play twenty questions with you or try and drag info out of you. Your being here is something I can use. You can either play along and live or get in my way and die. Got that?" He cringed as I waived the remote around. "Where's your car?"

"I parked it in town – they won't let us drive ourselves up here." He said quickly.

"OK, now we're getting somewhere" I turned back to Jennifer's closet and started picking through her leather pants. "So did Jennifer come out and pick you up or did a driver from here do it?"

"A driver. But she picks me up sometimes to."

"How about dropping you back off at your car?" I asked as I squirmed out of Diana's sweats and into a pair of Jennifer's pants. They weren't going to fit right but they'd do.

"Sometimes it's a driver, sometimes she does it." He was getting better with his answers.

"You ever leave this early? Sometimes? Good, then that's what we're going to do now. Where's her keys?" I said as I pulled on one of Jennifer's sweatshirts. "How about your stuff? Did you bring a change of clothes?"

"Yeah, those bags there" he pointed with his head toward the overnight and garment bags off to the side of the bedroom. Excellent, those'll do just fine. I went over to them and quickly pulled out his pants, shirt and shoes. I laid them out on a chair by the bed and then I sat down next to him again. He shriveled away from me. Good.

"OK, sunshine, here's the new plan. You and I are going for a little ride. We're going to pretend I'm Jennifer driving you back to your car after our night's romp. This is going to be a very quiet excursion for us – especially for you. Not a word from you, got it? Oh, and I'm going to have my finger on the button every step of the way. Fuck up even once and I'll fry your balls off." He got even paler at that. "Right now though, I want you dressed and ready to go. Give me any grief getting you undone and I'll burn them off right here."

"Look" he pleaded, "I don't want any part of this, just take my fucking keys and go. You don't need me along... ahh-huhhh" was as far as he got until I zapped him. I didn't hold the button down for long. I wanted him out of bed quicker than that.

"Dickhead, you're not getting it. I said we're going for a ride. That means you're along with me. I'll turn you loose once we're free and clear of this place but not before." While he was still panting in agony I quickly slipped off his bonds. I started with the legs and then carefully loosened one wrist and then the other. I kept well out of his reach as I did so. I only had to threaten him with the remote but once to get him moving and off the bed to get dressed. While he was doing that, and not taking my eyes off of him but for a second, I gathered up some of the rope and cuffs from Jennifer's toybag and stuffed them into his overnight bag. I was pretty sure I'd need them later. In the meantime, I wanted to demonstrate something else to wonderboy here, so I called Debbie in from the other room. Wonderboy was dressed and eyeing me with no small amount of fear when I pushed Debbie in front of him.

"Debbie, lift up your skirt and pull down your panties to let the man see you." I told her. Meekly, but quickly, she complied.

"Alright stud, what's your name?" I asked him. "Steven" he choked out, not knowing what to make of the little pussy on display in front of him.

"Steven, Debbie here has a lovely pussy doesn't she? Yes, that's right, she does. She didn't always have a pussy. In fact, she once had a cock and balls there. Then the assholes who run this place got a hold of him and now he's like this." With that, I opened my pants – that felt odd to even think, "my pants," I hadn't worn a pair of pants since before I'd first woken up in my cell downstairs – and took out what was left of my cock and balls, shriveled as they were. "Stevieboy, you see this? "Yes, that's right, I'm a guy too. And that's why I want out of here. If I stay then I'll wind up like Debbiekins here. This isn't a fucking game here Stevie. This isn't some kinky scene we're in. I didn't sign up for this any more than Debbie here and there's no way I'm going to let them get a hold of me again. I've already killed three people tonight to get this far and if I have to make you number four then I'll do it in a heartbeat. I don't want to kill you but if I need to, then you're toast." Stevie was looking much worse for wear right now.

"Debbie, you can cover back up now. Good. Take off that wig, Debbie. Now, put this one on" I said, handing her my wig. "I want you in the bed here, now." I was firm with her. I needed to be. I thought about trying to take her along but knew that wouldn't work. Even as a distraction it would still be too obvious and slow me down. I didn't like that and didn't like leaving her here but she was already gone and far beyond any help I could give her. I knew my little dog and pony show had impressed wonderboy but I still didn't trust him. There was no way he could have played around here without knowing some of what went on downstairs. So, as I adjusted Debbie's wig on my head (the hair's length and shade were closer to Jennifer's than that pageboy one was) I decided to drive my point home.

"Steven, right now you are really fucked. Even if they come in a shoot me in the head before I could do anything else, you are well and truly fucked. There's no way they'll let you out of here on your own. They won't take that risk. Instead, they'll make you disappear just like they made me disappear and just like they made Debbie. Your only choice is to help me. I'm gonna turn the cops on this place like nothing else. If you play along with me then you won't get burned and they won't be able to come after you to turn you into some dickless freak. Am I making myself clear?" He simply nodded. We'll see I thought to myself. "Alright then, grab your bags and let's go." I'd debated walking out through Diana's room to show him just how serious I was but I didn't know how tight he and Jennifer were so I didn't want to chance it. Thinking of her I realized just how sore my tit was where she'd been able to kick it as she knocked me off the bed. If she'd managed to rupture the implant than I'd soon need a hospital and that just wouldn't do right now.

Wonderboy seemed in something of a daze as we spirited down the hallway to the elevator. By now dawn was breaking and that was making my skin crawl. I did not want to be still inside by the time any early risers started wandering the halls. I pumped Steven for all the info I could as we made our way to the elevator and then rode down in it to the garage level. He didn't even seem phased when I did the eyeball trick to gain access to the elevator and then to the garage itself.

I already had some idea of which car would be Jennifer's from the keyfob and from what Stevieboy had told me so I simply marched off toward it as we entered the garage. I could see that the garage doors were closed and I was hoping there was an opener or something in her car when I almost stopped short in terror. Christ! The cameras! Now that I thought about it, I could see several of them in the garage. I didn't pause but I just kept walking toward "my" car. What if anyone was watching? What if they'd been watching all along? Did they watch in the rooms? Shit! As if it could get any worse, and as if I needed to be any more terrified, a voice called out to me from the speakers set in the ceiling.

"Good morning, Jennifer, up early I see." I had to think fast here. I remembered how she would wave dismissively sometimes at the other staff who she had no time for. So, I quickly did that. I hadn't had time to practice that move so I hoped my impression of it would do the trick. "And a good morning to you too then. Alright Jennifer, be back quick now or else we'll send the hounds after you" the man on the other end of the speaker sounded mildly peeved. Good, that was better than suspicious. Damn, it was a good thing I didn't try bringing Debbie along, they'd have cottoned to that in a heartbeat! It was also good that I gave wonderboy things to carry – otherwise I would've had to bind his hands and that would have been too obvious as well. Or at least it might have required a spoken answer and not just a shrug and a wave. Damn, my hands were beginning to shake again and I was sweating a river. I hope the security guy on the other side of those cameras wasn't watching his screens to close or else I'd be screwed. Things seemed to be OK though, as I heard one of the garage doors begin opening. I had to fight the urge to begin running toward it and, instead, just kept going to "my" car. I thumbed the keyfob and unlocked the car doors. Looking Steven in the eye I watched as he put his bags in the back and then climbed in the passenger's side. I slid into the driver's position and stopped I had to breathe real deep to keep control of myself. I was so close to getting out of this – so fucking close!

"Don't even think about it mister," I hissed at him once we had the doors closed. I kept the remote in my left hand as I started up the car. Good thing I knew how to drive a stick or else I'd be way too obvious in getting Jennifer's Lexus out the door. I did it though, nice and easy. I'd gotten directions from Steve so I tried hard to make it look like I knew exactly where I was going with my driving. It felt odd, really, really odd to be back behind the wheel again. Something about driving a car always makes you feel like you're the one in charge of your own destiny. Well, I guess I was but I was still a long ways away from being free.

I had wonderboy get the rope and cuffs out of the bag as I drove along the roadway from the mansion to the gate. It was tough driving and keeping an eye on what he was doing and also trying to take in the details of this place as I drove past it. I wanted to be able to remember it so when I led the cavalry back here it would be back to the right big mansion out in the hills. I had wonderboy put on the wrist cuffs, leather here – no potential weapons for him, and then I had him snake that rope under his butt as he sat there in the car next to me. Then I had him thread that rope through the shackles on each cuff. I stopped the car for a minute at this to tie his hands together in his lap. No, this wasn't terribly secure for even a half blind fool could wriggle out of it but this would keep him at a disadvantage while I was driving. I tossed his shirt in his lap to cover the rope bondage and drove on.

My skin was crawling and my gut was churning at all this. Everything in me was screaming to floor the accelerator to get away. I was sweating so bad I feared my hands would slip off the wheel and I'd run the car into a ditch. I felt the panic building in me as I slowly drove along but I forced myself to do just that, drive along. I had to risk that. I didn't know how Jennifer drove down this road. Perhaps she floored it with gravel flying and engine roaring. I didn't know and couldn't tell. I also didn't trust wonderboy enough for him to tell me either. He seemed to be coming out of his daze now and that wasn't a good thing. I figured he might try something stupid at the last minute.

I also figured I might have to crash through the gate to get out of here. So, I kept anticipating having to stomp the pedal at every turn in the damn roadway. Every corner I came around gave me a false hope that it was the one with the gate. Looking around I found the mansion was out in some rolling hill countryside and had been set back into a canyon such that it wasn't visible from the other side of the hills. Lots of privacy. That made sense. I had to wonder who owned the place originally for it was no small bit of land.

Finally, I did come around that last turn and there it was, the gate. And there was no way I'd be able to crash through that much iron grating. I frantically looked around the inside of Jennifer's car for a remote opener. Again. I didn't find one when I looked the first time so why I thought it'd suddenly appear when I looked for it again this time I don't know. Anyway, none appeared. I was fucked. As I rolled up toward the gate, the life started to go out of me. To have come this far and to be stopped at this point. This wasn't fair! Dammit! Not now! Sure, I could get out and hoof it. I might even be able to climb over that damn thing. Then what? If it wasn't electrified, like it surely had to be, then there'd be no way I could outrun the goons that they'd send after me. I'd no money, no ID, and probably looked too damn scary to get picked up hitching for a ride even if I did make it out to the highway. Assuming wonderboy hadn't lied to me about it being just ahead.

I began thinking through my options here. Perhaps if I did hit the gate hard enough I could pop it open enough for me to squeeze through. Perhaps. All of this was running through my mind at a hundred miles a minute and I had to blink twice to realize that the gate was moving. It was opening. I looked around at the gateposts and, sure enough, there was the camera. I was under their eyes the whole while. Well thank god for an efficient security staff. They'd no need for a warm body to be wasted manning the gate here directly when they could simply run it from back at the mansion. Smart move that. In most circumstances. For me though it meant they didn't have anyone here who could look up close at me and my mimic job of Jennifer. I brought the car to a stop while the gate swung its arc. I was breathing pretty heavy again. My palms were still sweaty. I also had a suspicion of something so I flicked on the radio and turned it up. Wonderboy just eyed me a pulled away a bit as my hand came closer to him reaching for the tuner knob.

Finally, the gate was fully open. I put the Lexus in gear and drove forward. Just as the nose of the car came even with the gate itself I heard the tone I expected from the remote. This would be bad. I knew it. I sped up and as I did so the zapper went off. Steven went from a brief second of panic to blinding agony all in a flash. No wonder they didn't feel the need to have a warm body down here – they had something better; an "invisible fence." Just like they use to keep dogs in a yard without having to put up a real fence, the folks who set up the security for the mansion set it up so that if a sissy somehow manages the impossible and gets out of the mansion and then tries getting off the grounds then his zapper collar will go off.

That makes sense, so long as their prisoners are wearing the zapper collar. That's why I made sure to get mine off even if I carved into myself to do so. A good thing too, Steven looked like this might kill him. At the least he was going to be badly burnt from this. His scream was piercing but brief and, hopefully, drowned out by the radio. He also couldn't move around much due to the rope and shackles and seatbelt. Yeah, I thought that might all come in handy. Hopefully, none of this was apparent to the guard watching us drive out. I didn't burn rubber going through the gate, just drove on through, pretty as I pleased. I hope that worked. I swore I could smell burning flesh as I drove along. Poor bastard. Looks like he might lose those nuts and cock after all.

I considered stopping and rolling him out of the car but decided against it. The damn zapper couldn't keep frying forever. It'd have to run out of juice eventually, right? I also decided I needed some evidence and what better evidence of the inhuman sadism of this place than a guy who'd gotten his dick fried off? So, I kept on driving. Steven didn't last long, he passed out long before the zapper's batteries quit. Driving off I still made sure to take in as much of the surroundings as I could. I'd been too busy keeping control of the car as wonderboy got his nuts fried to note the address on the mansion's gate but I did note the mileage and eventually did pass by a few street signs.

Finally, I made it out to the main road. Eventually, I found the town that wonderboy had told me of. Had I blinked twice I probably would've missed it. Looking around carefully I found the parking lot he'd told me of and in which I spotted what I thought was his car. Pulling up next to it and hitting the alarm on his key fob confirmed it. Speaking of wonderboy, he didn't look in a good way. At least he was now moaning and not just laying there like a corpse. I guess that was a good sign.

Hustling as quickly as I could, I got both wonderboy and myself into his wheels and then I took stock of what I now had. The biggest prize was his cellphone. I could barely contain myself from lighting it up right there. Instead though, I waited until I was once again on the road, headed south to the highway. I'd found a roadmap in the back of his Mustang and figured that I was some four hour's drive before I hit the big city and that was where I needed to go. I could only imagine the panic that must soon be erupting back there at the mansion. There'd be hell to pay the moment they realized I'd gotten out. I didn't pity any of the security staff who'd followed the rules but still let me by. I didn't take long to savor this as my skin was once again crawling from being too close to the mansion. It made sense for them to have the zapper collar set to go off when you got to the fence with it, it made sense for the mansion to be that close to a highway, and it made sense for them to not allow anyone else's vehicles on the property. Given that, it also made sense for them to have some sort of tracking beacon attached to their staff's vehicles. That may have been "James Bond" of me to think so but I wasn't going to take the risk, I'd ditch Jennifer's car as soon as I could. For all I knew they had the local law enforcement in their pocket and had already whistled them up to run a traffic stop. I hoped in the Steve's Mustang and was back on the road, headed for Portland.

Of all the places where I could have wound up I would not have figured it'd be out in Oregon. I was a long way away from my Raleigh, North Carolina home. That made sense though. It would be too great a security risk for them to be stealing folks from anywhere near where they had the mansion. "You don't shit where you eat," right? So, swiping folks from the other side of the country would run less risk of attracting attention than doing so around here. Well, at least I had some idea of where I was and where I needed to be. Looking at the map, I figured it wouldn't be long before I hit the highway and then I could head south and west to Portland.

That ride was a long one, it was still stressful, but it was also somewhat fun. In a perverse way. Rolling down the highway I felt more freedom with each passing mile I put between me and that mansion. I also was making sure to spread as much hell in my wake as I could. Putting on the headset so I could drive and talk easily, I got the phone numbers to as many agencies as I could think of. Then I used payphones at various rest stops and gas stations to call the Drug Enforcement Agency's tip line to let them know there was a crystal meth lab in the basement of the mansion. Then it was the FBI to let them know there was some white supremacists there who were running something with the Russian mafia. Then the Homeland Security folks to tip them to some militia freaks stockpiling weapons in the basement levels. They really lit up when I mentioned something about seeing small vials filled with this white powdery substance. I even called the county's tax assessor department to let them know off the unreported additions to that mansion's floorspace.

In short, I did anything and everything I could to get as much attention coming down on those bastards as I could think of. Yes, I also made sure to light up as much of the media as I could. I kept the stories urgent enough but not too wild. Certainly not the truth, for the truth was too freaky to believe and would never have been acted on. I could see some "agent in charge" getting a real chuckle out of the report of a white slavery ring operating out of rural Oregon in a mansion where they forcibly feminized men that they'd abducted from the east coast. Yeah, right.

Wonderboy turned out to have a moderate amount in his bank account. Nothing major, but enough. In the hallway back at the mansion I'd pressed him for his ATM pin number and he'd been in enough of a daze to cough it up without much of a fight. I feared he might have been lying as I popped his card in to a machine for the first time. He hadn't been and that gave me enough cash to keep the car gassed, for me to finally get something to eat, and even for me to get some first aid stuff to tend to wonderboy's wounds. That was messy.

It wasn't just burnt flesh I'd been smelling. The pain had been so intense and the electrical arcing so bad that wonderboy had soiled himself. That didn't help his burns much at all and he was burned down there. I washed things out as well as I could at the rest stop we pulled into. Then I salved as much first aid goop under the collar as I could. He was starting to come around at this point so I took care of that by forcing a couple of sleeping pills down his throat before he came fully awake. Better he be out of it while I did what else I needed done. We got into Portland by nightfall. I could've gotten there quicker but I didn't want to speed, I'd plenty of calls to make, I'd been too damn hungry to drive straight through, and it was taking me a while to get used to driving again. That plus I was metabolizing off more of whatever drugs they had me on. I was pretty damn wired and very jumpy by the time I crossed the Williamette river and made my way into the city. I scanned the shops until I found a coffeehouse that had some Internet kiosks. Putting wonderboy's seat back and covering him up, I went inside and started my search.

Renting the computer out for an hour, I quickly brought up the kink references for Portland. I needed an attorney but not just any one would do. He (or she) had to be "kink aware" in order to fully grasp what I'd just been through and what was facing me. I'd most likely be facing some pretty serious criminal charges so I'd most likely need a lawyer who had that background as well. I doubted I'd get both in one shot but I figured a kink friendly one could work with me to find the criminal one. Soon I had the "Kink Aware Professionals" website up and found a couple who seemed right. Then I fired up the search engines and found the local kink groups and their hotline numbers. With enough info in hand I went back to the car and found a place to bed down for the night. It was a chore getting wonderboy out of the car and into the room I'd found at a motel just outside of the city. He was still very groggy and in no small amount of pain. I'm no nurse (although I can dress like the best damn wet dream nurse there ever was) so it took me some time to get wonderboy to do his stuff at the toilet and then securely bound in the bed. I was too jumpy to shower or to sleep but the mere fact that I could actually stop, physically, was a real relief.

You'd better believe I was up and outside to catch the sunrise. It was the first one I'd seen in over a year. A year! A whole fucking year they'd had me at that damn mansion, working me over. I couldn't believe that either but I knew when I was last walking the streets back in Raleigh and I could read the date on the calendar now and it came in at just over a year. Oh, they were going to pay! Big time!

Leaving wonderboy tied off at the motel, I drove a few miles away and started making more calls. It took me a while to finally get a hold of one of the lawyers from that list. It took even longer to persuade him to meet with me. Over the phone I spun him a tale that I'd just been in a SM relationship with a very wealthy and powerful man and that things had gotten abusive then gone non-consensual and that I was now afraid for my safety. True enough, if limited in its truth.

Before the meeting I stopped off at a thrift store and bought some clothes that actually fit. This was getting surreal. I was free but still having to hide and still having to keep up the female illusion and persona. I'm sure the store clerk must have thought me weird but my cash (wonderboy's, actually) was green and that was the bottomline. It did feel good though to finally be wearing some comfortable clothes. No latex, no leather, no nylon, just plain ol' cotton and sneakers to boot! I considered just running from there. Trying to go to ground and hide as a new woman. Set up a new identity and hope the goons from the mansion couldn't find me. No, that would never work and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as a woman nor did I want to always be looking over my shoulder all the time or jumping at shadows. No, I had to go through with this. I had to get the word out and I had to go public.

The meeting with the lawyer was not easy. I don't think he really believed me until I took him over to the hotel and showed him wonderboy. Stevie had begun coming `round by that point but was still pretty out of it. That actually made it somewhat easier for me to pump him for answers to the attorney's questions. Things progressed from there. First off he did some checking with his buddies in the police department to see if there was any word about the mansion. I'd certainly called in enough heat on it. That his questions to his police contacts only got quick questions from them as to why he was asking in the first place only served to confirm things. He started making more calls.

He lit up another attorney friend of his, one who was better at handling criminal stuff and not just the sexual stuff he was familiar with. Things snowballed from there. Pretty soon we had wonderboy admitted to a hospital and me in protective custody downtown. The law was then all over that mansion. Later on I learned that my initial calls had spurred that region's sheriff to drive on over to the mansion's entrance. His call in to check on things had actually been what set them all off. Oh how I would've paid money to have been able to watch all that. They blew off that sheriff but they knew that wouldn't last. So they began trying to shut things down and get out. They should've just dropped everything and ran but I guess they figured they had too much invested in their sissies and they couldn't afford to lose their stock.

So, they'd doped them up, stuffed them into this bus, and were in the process of driving off when a couple of DEA guys pulled up to the gate. That's when Alex lost it. He always was too quick, even when fucking. Perhaps they could've talked their way around the DEA guys as well. Perhaps not. Trying to shoot their way past was a dumb idea no matter what. Alex was a pretty good shot as well but in this case he wasn't fast enough. He'd nailed one agent but before he could draw a bead on the second, that other DEA agent dropped him. All hell broke loose from that point on. It was a real circus with everyone coming down on that mansion. There was even some squabbling as to who had primacy in the investigation. The choppers the media had eventually hired to buzz the place didn't help things.

My court case was a pretty clear one. It took months to get going and those weren't particularly pleasant months. For a variety of reasons I chose to keep my body the way it was. For that time at least. My attorney told me it would make my case. His being right was cold comfort to me. He wasn't the one who had to deal with those fucking balloons on his chest, I was. Still though, the medical reports and the actual site of my emasculated self was enough. My actions were declared "justifiable homicide" as I'd only been attempting to gain my freedom and had been in fear for my life.

The computer records they'd uncovered at the mansion had lit off a major investigation. There were a whole lot of important people, worldwide, who were going to get burned over this one. Good. They deserved it.

Once the criminal trial phase ended I turned to the civil phase. I wanted my pound of flesh. I also wanted to get my life back and that wouldn't come cheap. The folks who ran the mansion had made quite a profit with their "sissies to order" business. They'd had to set up a bunch of "legitimate" businesses to put that money to use. It was those that my legal team (yes, I'd picked up a bunch of lawyers once the extent of this case became known) were going after.

Part of that lawsuit and civil case involved my proving the damages done to me and that meant I still had to keep up with the female body bit. At least for a while longer. Once I'd won the first couple of cases I'd have enough cash to change and have enough documented evidence that I'd no longer need to keep the tits, the figure, the skin, and the limp dick. Thankfully.

Right now though, I've got to go through my breathing exercises again. My therapist (well, one of them anway – I've a team of them too!) has been working on my nerves that I get when facing a crowd like this. Especially when it's a televised thing. I hate this. I know it's to my benefit to show how much of a freak they've made me but I'd much rather just find a nice quiet cabin out in the woods somewhere and just hide from it all. But, that won't help my case. So, I adjust my bra (thank god for that support!) Check my makeup again, adjust my blouse, work up my nice big smile, and wait for my cue. And, I breathe, dammit. I breathe.