Breaking Through

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Chapter 21

Chris raised his eyebrow, watching Armie across the dining room table. He held Armie's phone in one hand and the other was sitting on top of his laptop. There was no way Armie would be able to access the outside--online--world. "This is cruel and unusual punishment," Armie said, his bright blue eyes darkening with a combination of annoyance and anger.

"Prepare yourself," Chris said.

"I've read bad reviews before. A lot, actually," Armie said.

"This is different. I need you to understand this was your very first time directing a movie and that everyone is expecting a lot and maybe there will be an unfair lean to all of this."

"Okay," Armie said. "Got all of that. Now let me see what they wrote." Armie's movie was set to air Friday night, but the press embargo was being lifted on Thursday morning. All the critics that got a chance to pre-screen the movie would be posting reviews throughout the day. They'd just finished breakfast and Armie was set to scour the internet for any mention of "Resurrection."

"It's too soon, anyway," Chris said. He set Armie's iPhone down on top of his laptop and slid it across the table. "It's up to you. If you want to torture yourself right now, I won't stop you."

Armie sighed. They'd both been through it before, but Chris was right. Armie had grown so accustomed to mixed and downright bad reviews that he had steeled himself for the worst-case scenario every time. He doubted that anyone would cut him any slack knowing it was his first turn behind the camera.

"In what could have easily been seen as a vanity project, actor-director Armie Hammer takes on a story that's part 'Of Mice and Men' and part 'I Am Sam,'" Chris read from his own phone screen. He didn't look up at Armie, but he could sense the tension without having to see Armie's face. "In what could have been a parody of mental illness and a sentimental slog, he succeeds in avoiding cliche as both director and supporting actor. 'Resurrection' is concise, clever, and offers a view of schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression that's often overlooked: the story of the caretakers and family. And the armadillo is cute, too."

"That fucking armadillo," Armie said. "Of course you weren't on set those days. Who wrote that?"

"James Poniewozik at the 'New York Times,'" Chris said. "Happy?"

"Relieved." He sat back in his chair, "If the 'Times' liked it, it means not everyone hated it."

"Armie," Chris said, setting his phone facedown on the table. "Why are you being so hard on yourself right now? You weren't this worried about the three movies you've put out since we've been together--and one of those was my movie, you could have shown a little more concern there."

"Because people never take me seriously," Armie said. "If this bombed, I wouldn't ever be able to even try it again. I probably wouldn't get any roles, either. The scent of failure lingers."

Chris didn't want to bring up the fact that a few of Armie's movies had, in fact, bombed. He didn't really have trouble finding work after those missteps. "One in the positive column," Chris said. "Just a million more reviews to go."

"I'm sorry," Armie said. "You know this temperamental artist stuff isn't me. That's more your department. I'm just worried."

"Understandable," Chris said, getting up out of his chair. He kissed Armie's forehead on the way to the kitchen. "Let me know when you're sane again." Chris hadn't been able to sleep well the night before. The tossing and turning seemed to stem from being nervous and anxious for Armie's sake, but the vivid dreams that nearly bordered on nightmares didn't have an explanation. Chris thought about bringing them up, but the details seemed to fade as the morning progressed and he didn't want to offload any more issues to the present situation. Instead, he'd let the dreams fade and hope that they'd disappear into the ether of his mind as he read more takes on the movie.

"So, this is super awkward," Sebastian said. He'd walked over just after lunchtime, an artful arrangement of succulents in his arms. Chris had opened the door and greeted him with a hug, but aside from a few pleasantries, Armie and Chris were both glued to their phones.

"We're deep into the reviews now," Chris said. "Sorry. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Maybe a tour? This is the first time I've been over here. These cacti are a housewarming gift."

"I'm really sorry," Armie said, mentally tracking exactly how many times he'd apologized today. "Let me show you around."

"I get it," Sebastian said as Armie got up. "If this is a bad time, I can go."

"Please don't go," Chris said. "Check out the house and I'll make coffee."

"This is the kitchen," Armie said, smoothing his shirt over his chest. "Those doors all open up and we can have this huge patio-dining room situation." He said as he motioned to the floor-to-ceiling glass doors facing towards the canal.

"Yeah, because you guys are always having people over," Sebastian said sarcastically.

"Hey," Chris said from the kitchen. "Nobody asked for snark."

"This house is huge," Sebastian said.

"Compared to the old house, yeah, but it's not that big," Armie said. "Our old place was a sliver of a house. This is a whole one."

They walked upstairs together, Sebastian keeping himself a few paces behind Armie. "Did you read any of that stuff that came up after your wedding announcement?"

"Deb told me there was some fluffy coverage, but she said it wasn't that bad," Armie said as he walked Sebastian through the guest bedroom and the office. There was a room they didn't know what to do with, too, along with the master suite. The tour was quick.

"The Oscars basically buried it," Sebastian added. "But I saw that Chris cut a deal for his book. Do you know about that?"

"He told me he didn't want to make it into a movie," Armie said. "I think he'll change his mind, but I don't know. We've been juggling a lot with the party, the Oscars, the move, Santa Barbara and the movie. Do you think he told me and I forgot? Maybe I was distracted?" Simply listing out all of the things that had just happened was enough to give him whiplash.

"I think you'd remember," Sebastian said, taking in the view from the master bedroom. Two of the walls were floor-to-ceiling windows, giving them a pretty spectacular panoramic vista right from bed. "This is worth it right here. You guys are lucky to have gotten this house."

"We got it before it went on the market," Armie explained. His mind was racing now. Not only did he have reviews to digest, he had to think about Chris either keeping something major from him or his own apparently lax listening skills. "Maybe it's still being worked out."

Sebastian pulled out his phone, looking up the story again. "Yeah, nothing's final yet. His agent would know. 'Variety' reported it." Armie was out on the balcony, which wrapped around two sides of the room. Sebastian noticed a pair of chairs and a telescope out there.

"I must have been really out of it," Armie said. "I'll ask him. He hasn't started working on the script, so things probably aren't even that far along."

"You guys did good with this house," Sebastian said, arms outstretched. "I have to walk further to get here, but it's worth the trip."

"Yeah, it's great," Armie said. He let out a long, slow breath. "Man, I wish I could actually enjoy it for a minute. My brain is overloaded."

"Only good things," Sebastian said. "I haven't read anything bad yet."

The two walked back downstairs, where there was coffee waiting for them and all of the back doors were open, just like Armie had described. Two of the walls had basically disappeared, leaving a huge swathe of the house open to the cool, coastal air and the faint scent of eucalyptus.

"Rotten Tomatoes aggregated it to 82%. I would say that's a success," Chris said from the patio. "Sebs, we have a fire pit. We don't have to use yours anymore."

Armie ran his hands over his face, feeling a huge wave of relief wash over him. "I have to call my parents," he said, a smile spreading across his lips. He rushed over towards Chris and kissed him full on, Armie's hands pressing at Chris' lower back to pull their bodies together. "I couldn't have done it without you. You're incredible. You told me to go for it and now it's out there."

"Go tell your parents," Chris said. "You're not a failure, after all."

"I love you, even when you're an ass," Armie said. He took a sip of his coffee and held the mug up to both of them in a mock salute. "I'll be right back."

"HBO is throwing us a party tonight at the Chateau Marmont, because what else would they do?" Chris said. "Everyone thinks it's where we started our whirlwind romance. You should come."

"Isn't it where you met?"

"Yeah, but from what happened that night, you wouldn't think we'd be married and living in this amazing house. Did you see that we have an actual dock? We could have a tiny boat."

"That's for paddle boarding and kayaks," Sebastian said.

"We could have those things," Chris said, shrugging.

Chris rubbed his nose against Armie's cheek, feeling the scratchy softness of his beard. Armie chuckled, rubbing Chris' back. "Good reviews. Good party," he said, eyes looking up at the night sky. The two of them were snuggled together on the patio, the fire pit was sending waves of warmth across their bodies and there was plenty to be happy about.

"Good food," Chris interrupted. He ran his hand over Armie's stomach, grinning as he pressed their bodies closer together. His fingers slipped between Armie's shirt buttons, feeling warm skin. "And everyone was so happy for you."

"For us."

"It was your night," Chris said. "Enjoy it."

"I did," Armie said. "Because I was with you."

"Yeah, except we were separated the entire time."

"We're together now. I'm celebrating exactly how I want to."

Chris could smell cigars and Armie's cologne, mixing with the tiniest hint of scotch and sweat. He reached over and undid a few more buttons on Armie's shirt, freely feeling at his hairy chest. "There's no place better than where I am right now."

"I'm the happiest guy on the planet," Armie said. With Chris in his arms, he couldn't think of anything that would have made that moment better. Chris kissed at his throat and chest, chuckling when he felt Armie's fingers tangling in his hair. "Nothing could make this better."

"I can make you feel a little happier," Chris assured him, pressing his body even closer. "Can I ask you something serious?"

"No. Not tonight."

"How does Christopher Hammer sound? Can I?"

"You don't have to ask me that."

"But I did."

"And now I'm even happier. Didn't think it could happen, but it did."

"I can do one more thing," Chris said, his hand moving down Armie's body.

"Not out here. As much as I like where this is going, we should head upstairs."

"Whatever you say," Chris said, pulling himself from Armie's embrace and straddling his lap. He unbuttoned his own shirt and shrugged it off, tossing it onto one of the chairs beside the two of them. Armie reached up to feel the newly exposed skin and Chris shivered at the touch, feeling warmth spread through his body from Armie's hands, joining the waves of heat coming from the fire pit.

Armie sat up and kissed Chris' lips, pulling their bodies together and licking at Chris' tongue. "Upstairs. Now."

Chris pushed Armie's shirt off, ignoring the demand as he deepened the kiss, both of them hungrier, needier than they were just a second ago. Chris got up and pulled Armie along with him, reaching down to shut off the gas-powered fire pit before Armie led the both of them through the house.

Feeling a yank back, Chris turned around, but couldn't react as he felt himself pushed down to the couch. Armie's mouth was on him immediately, nipping and sucking at his neck. It wasn't their bed and it wasn't upstairs, but Armie didn't care. He yanked off Chris' pants and licked at his balls, stroking his dick as he heard gasps and moans coming from Chris' mouth. Fingers tangled in Armie's hair and he could feel Chris' entire body tensing up. He groaned around Chris' dick, taking it into his mouth and bobbing slowly, feeling the length slide against his tongue and watching the rise and fall of Chris' chest. One of Armie's hand went lower, pulling and rolling Chris' balls, and the other holding him steady, pressing down on his hip to keep the bucking under control.

Armie quickened his pace, moving up and down Chris' dick, keeping his lips tight as he went. He loved watching Chris' reactions, soaking in the image of Chris with his head thrown back and noticing each hitched breath and unexpected groan. Chris bit down on his lip, trying to keep in a whimper when he felt Armie's lips on the base of his cock. Armie gulped and pulled off, his tongue paying more attention to Chri's slit and his head. Chris' toes curled and he bore down with his muscles, working to keep his orgasm at bay through Armie's enthusiasm. Pulling Armie up, he kissed him hard, their mouths crashing together as Chris' hands ran over Armie's skin, desperate for any contact, moving from his arms and shoulders to his back.

"Tell me we have lube down here somewhere," Chris said, his voice breathy. Armie didn't answer, instead latching onto Chris' collarbone, biting down before getting rewarded with a breathy gasp. Armie pulled himself away, a smirk coming to his lips as he took in Chris' kiss-swollen lips, the red marks already forming on his neck, and the faint purple on his collarbone. He reached down and stroked at Chris' leaking cock, catching his breath as he tried to get his bearings. "Armie, get inside me. Fuck me."

Armie shucked his jeans and wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand before he pushed his underwear off. His hard dick slapped up against his abs and Chris groaned just seeing it. Stroking himself, he took a few steps towards the built-in bookcase, Chris watching the muscles in Armie's back and shoulders as he dug around in the various boxes before finding a bottle of lube. He slicked himself and got back between Chris' legs, putting one up on his shoulder before sliding two fingers inside Chris' hole.

"God," Chris groaned, his head back again. He gritted his teeth, jaw tight as Armie worked his hole. Chris gasped when he felt Armie's mouth on his dick again, not even bothering to keep the sounds in anymore. Armie's hot, wet mouth and long fingers had reduced him to a writhing mess. His body was covered with a sheen of sweat and he didn't care if the entire South Bay, the entire city of Los Angeles could hear him.

"Armie," Chris said, surprised at the dry, raspy sound of his own voice. He couldn't get another word out as Armie added a third finger, twisting and scissoring inside Chris' hole, Armie's fingertips tapping at Chris' prostate. He clamped down on Armie's fingers, which elicited a soft chuckle from Armie's throat.

Armie's fingers prodded and stretched, but his lips were back on Chris' jaw, his scratchy beard bringing more pink in its wake and his teeth leaving a trail of soft bites and nips. "You're so sexy," Armie said, the sound muffled by Chris' skin. Though he barely heard the words, Chris could definitely feel them. The deep baritone sent a wave straight down his spine, right to where Armie's fingers were still working him open.

When the fingers were replaced by the blunt head of Armie's dick, which slid deep in one deft stroke, Chris swore out loud, stars dancing on the inside of his eyelids and his whole body tightening and loosening all at once. His hands dug into Armie's forearms and he almost came at the initial penetration. He caught Armie's mouth with his own and held tight as Armie rolled his hips, fucking with slow, languid motions even though Chris was a mess under him, trembling with need and whimpering every time Armie's cockhead pressed past his prostate.

Thrusting faster, Armie pulled Chris into each one, his thighs pressed to Armie's chest. Rocking in hard and pulling out, Armie's body moved both of them together, barreling them towards orgasm. Overwhelmed by everything, having his entire body under Armie's, his ears filled with the sound of heavy breathing and grunts, and his entire field of vision flooded with Armie and only Armie, Chris fell over the edge, his body stiffening as he shot across his own stomach, his cries muffled into Armie's neck. The thrusts didn't stop, didn't slow down. Armie kept up his motions, fucking Chris through his orgasm, knowing that each and every move was pushing Chris further, driving him over the edge of control. Armie felt hands on his shoulders, up his neck, felt Chris cling to him and ride out his climax.

Armie went harder, his hips drilling in fast and deep. He held Chris tight to him. By now, Chris' legs had fallen off Armie's shoulders and wrapped around his waist, every part of him wanting, needing contact, seeking as much skin-on-skin contact as possible. Armie pounded in, gasping as the edges of his vision went blurry, his own orgasm hitting him suddenly as he ground his hips into Chris' ass, getting as deep as he possibly could, shooting hard as his body was racked with the waves of his orgasm.

"Should we go upstairs?" Armie asked, kissing right below Chris' ear.

Chris rocked up, pushing Armie down onto his back and settling his ass down on Armie's lap. He shook his head, "I'm okay right here." As he rocked his hips, his hands grabbed at Armie's and held tight. Chris leaned down to kiss Armie again, making sure to quell any objection. They had reason to celebrate and Chris was going to take full advantage of it.

The new house had plenty of room, but the congratulatory flowers still filled up just about every open space. It was almost comical that they were doing it all over again, but Chris and Armie were looking at each other over bouquets of roses and hydrangeas, the air almost heavy with the scent of lilies and freesia. The sheer volume of it all showed just how over-eager everyone was to send their regards, but Armie loved each and every delivery. He kept a list of who to send cards to, wondering just how much time he'd have to get stationery that read "The Hammers." It seemed like the perfect way to let everyone in on the big news.

"Do you want to take any of these upstairs?"

"I'll put some in the bathroom and our room," Chris said, looking for something small enough. "And maybe the office. I guess we should spread it out."

Armie leaned against the counter, not even trying to wipe the smile that had been plastered on his face for the last 24 hours. In the back of his mind, he knew he should ask Chris about what Sebastian had mentioned. But for now, he could keep it tucked away. There was no reason to worry.

"Mr. Hammer," Armie said, still grinning from ear to ear, "two successes in a row. Books, movies, TV. What can't you do?"

"Act. Sing. Cook," Chris said. "There's plenty this Hammer can't do. The one I'm talking to, though, seems to be good at everything."

"We both know that's not true," Armie said. "But you can keep saying it."

Chris walked over and kissed Armie on the cheek, feeling down his arms, and holding his hands. "Okay, I have to do some actual work upstairs, because I'm starting to feel dizzy from all these flowers."

"Not everyone's as busy as you," Armie said. "So I guess I have to occupy myself somehow?"

"You'll figure it out," Chris said. A quick kiss on the lips and Armie was alone in the quiet solitude of the kitchen. Riding high on the movie, he'd decided that even the most mundane, everyday errands could use a jolt of positivity. Getting the care washed seemed like a chore any other day. Today, it was almost something to celebrate. A grocery run became a chance to wonder if there was anyone actually talking about the movie and during the drive, he saw a few billboards promoting it.

"I won't tell him you said that," Armie said into his phone. He was at Chris' favorite coffee shop, one with an ocean view and seats outside for people-watching and optimal sun exposure alike. "But both of us wanted to keep things low-key, mom. We only announced it because there'd be too much gossip if we didn't.

Armie idly stirred at his coffee. His mom had suggested a proper reception, something that involved a sit-down dinner and not a salsa bar. She was old Texas through and through. She wanted things done a certain way and, even though he knew better, Armie wasn't getting in step with any of it. The divorce was one thing. Then, it was Chris -- someone getting a divorce himself. Armie wasn't only defying convention. He was defying his mom's master plan. Not that there was any going back now. He wondered what his mom really wanted. Another divorce would give her a stroke.

"I like Chris," she said. "I love him, even. But I don't love that you're happy to be with someone who can take attention from you."

"Wow, mom, way to be blunt," Armie said. For the first time in a while, he felt the smile fade from his face. "What do you want me to say to that?"

"There's nothing to say. If you're happy, I can learn to be happy, too."

"I honestly thought you'd be impressed by him. He's one of the most popular writers today. People actually read his books. He matters."

"The voice of a generation, I've heard."

"It's too late for you to be mean about this. What's going on?"

"I'm getting calls from the foundation. The museum. You may not take those things seriously, but I do. Is Chris going to be on the board or just an absentee member like you? He's not big in the charity world. He's only done some things with children's literacy. I'm worried about how people will see the future of the family name."

"I don't think he wants anything to do with all of that," Armie said. "I don't, either. I only do it because you want me to."

"You should shave, too."

"Mom, is this really why you called?"

"Your life might feel like a fairy tale right now, but when the excitement ends and you're settled down, you might look back and see it all in a different light. It was exactly what happened with Elizabeth."

Armie sighed. "I love you, but you can't say things like that, mom; especially not now. I'll see you soon." She barely got a goodbye in before he hung up. He stared out at the ocean, watching the waves roll in. It was very sudden, he thought. His mom wasn't processing it all. He had to admit that it was happening quickly, but he also knew that this is what he wanted from the very beginning. He spun his wedding band around with this thumb, a nervous tick that he'd always had, whether it was with this ring or the one he'd worn before. Once, twice, the ring went around three times before the sound of someone sitting down at his table shook him from his daze.

"Is Chris inside?" It was Sebastian. He and Chris stopped at this particular cafe after almost every one of their morning runs.

"He's at home," Armie said. "Just me this time."

"Figures. When I need to talk to him, he's not here. You know I still don't have a copy of the book?"

"You were at the party."

"The wedding announcement was distracting," Sebastian said. "So was the Corona. And the tacos. I was celebrating you two."

"Good to know," Armie said. "We have a box at the house. Just get one from Chris. Do you want a coffee? I need another one."

"If you're buying, I'll take a croissant, too," Sebastian said as they went inside. They were back outside a few minutes later, croissant flakes sprinkled in Sebastian's facial hair and the ever-present ocean air particularly salty. Sebastian could tell that Armie was distracted, but he didn't want to press. He knew how forthcoming Armie usually was. It'd come out when Armie wanted it to.

"When you're between projects, do you ever feel lost?" Armie asked.

"I feel lost all the time," Sebastian said, crossing his arms and sitting back in his chair. "But you have to have a hobby. It can't always be all about work."

"I'm always dealing with this extra nervous energy, but with Chris around, I didn't really feel that anymore. It's back, though. I can't stop thinking about what you said. I read about it. He hasn't said a single thing."

"Did you ask him about it?"

"Of course not. That would be too easy. I'm waiting for him to bring it up."

"But you said he's not working on it. He won't bring it up."

Armie groaned, his head falling back. "I can talk to him about anything -- anything but this. Separate work and life. Why can't we ever keep it apart?"

"You two are definitely never separating work and life. You met because of work. You just put out a movie together. I didn't think you were actually trying."

"That's not funny," Armie said before he rubbed his eyes. "But I see your point."

"He doesn't keep anything from you. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"He told me that he's taking my name," Armie said, wanting to toss something positive into the conversation.

"That's a big deal," Sebastian said. "Congratulations. That must make you feel really good."

"It's more than I could ever imagine. My ex never did it. And Chris...his name is on everything he does. His books are going to say Christopher Hammer. It's crazy."

"The Social Security Office must really hate him," Sebastian joked. "And I'm guessing libraries and bookstores, too. I've never actually thought about it. His books are in two places. Now, it'll be three."

"I'm not worrying about that. I'm sure Amazon makes it easy." Armie sipped his coffee, watching as people milled around, tourists and locals walking right past the both of them, heads down, eyes either locked on their phones or the ocean.

"You know, when I met him, he said he was done with relationships. You did something to change his mind."

"I was stuck in a place I didn't want to be. He gave me a chance. Good things happened all around."

After a few more minutes, Armie said goodbye and drove back to the house, grateful every day that there was no longer a gravel driveway to deal with. Groceries in hand, he stepped into the quiet house, now filling with the glow of the afternoon sunlight. After everything was put away and he'd opened a few of the sliding doors, he headed upstairs, expecting to hear the tapping of Chris' keyboard or at least some signal of activity. "Are you home?" Armie said, peeking into the office. Chris had his headphones on, which explained the silence, but he slipped them off as soon as he saw Armie in the doorway.

"Quick question: how's your voice acting? Is 'Cars 3' a good example?"

"I don't follow. Did you get me an audition?"

"Audiobook just got green-lit. Can you offer your services for that? I'd appreciate it."

"Wow," Armie said. He sat down on the loveseat, grinning as he looked over at Chris. "Congratulations. I wondered why it didn't come out the same day as the book."

"I was figuring out how to explain to David and Penguin that I wanted you to do it. I don't ever want to come off as too demanding."

"Of course I'll do it," Armie said. "I'll clear my completely open schedule."

Chris got up from behind the desk and sat down with Armie, leaning his head on his shoulder. "Thank you for thinking of me," Armie said. He reached for Chris' hand. "I heard you figured out what to do about the book and your movie rights. I read it, actually."

"I just finalized that today," Chris said. "I don't think anyone's going to write about it."

"There was speculation. They write about everything you do."

"It's not a story. Nothing's going to happen. It's too personal. I sold it. The company promised not to make it."

"Okay. Either you are a master negotiator or David is. I won't ask what this miraculous deal is about, but I'm glad you got what you wanted. I think you're looking at it the wrong way, but I know you've got it figured out."

"Maybe it is a mistake, but it feels like the right thing to do right now. But you need to know that I sold it to Jake for safekeeping. His production company won't make it unless I approve it."

"That's...something," Armie said, his body tensing. "But you know what you're doing."

"I don't, actually. I just know that Jake won't go against his word. We can't let everyone know. His company will keep it under wraps and the whole story can just disappear."

"Are you sure you want to bury this book? If you write it, the script will be exactly the way you want it."

"Some things are too special, even for that. This book means too much to me," Chris said as he leaned in closer. He pressed his forehead to Armie's temple and closed his eyes, "You showed me that I could get through anything. I honestly thought I was broken in every way, but this proves that I wasn't. It's perfect to me and that can't happen twice. Can't risk it."

Armie pulled Chris tighter against him and let out a contented sigh. He'd have a long time to figure out exactly how Chris' brain worked, but for now, he'd let this go.

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