A very big thank you to all of the readers who have taken the time to send kind messages for the first chapters of the story. I very much appreciate it. Please send any feedback, complaints, and correspondence to breakingthroughstory@gmail.com. The usual disclaimers apply. This is fiction.
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Chapter 14
Jake pushed his fingers through his hair, hoping it would stay back even though the winds were coming in off of the ocean. It was always windy by the beach, he didn't know why he left his hat in the car. He tapped his fingers impatiently as his eyes darted left and right. Chris wasn't late yet, but he was always early, so it was a little odd. Jake had already ordered two coffees and was content to switch between looking at his watch and the joggers.
"Hey, sorry," Chris said as he walked toward the table. "Have you been waiting long?"
Jake got up and gave Chris a hug, patting him on the back. "Just ordered."
"How are you doing?" Chris said as he sat opposite Jake.
"Can't complain," Jake said, settling back into his chair. Chris was wearing a faded black hoodie that looked oddly familiar. It took a few seconds, but Jake recognized it as one of his. To anyone else, it would have been a sweatshirt, but Jake could tell from the fraying on the cuffs and the chewed-off drawstrings that it as definitely one of his. He wondered if Chris knew. He had to.
Chris took a sip of his coffee, grateful for the warmth. "Your sister told me you were heading to New York."
"Just for a little bit," Jake said. "A play. Maybe two."
Chris was happy for Jake. He'd wanted to do theater for a long time. They'd talked about it on and off, but Jake never really pursued it. Chris smiled at the thought of Jake on stage, nothing between him and the audience. "Can I come see it?"
"I'd love that," Jake said. "I really would."
"Let me know when. I'll come for opening night."
"It's a deal," Jake said. It had been a few weeks since Utah and even longer since Jake confessed that the divorce may have been a mistake. It was definitely a mistake, Jake decided, but it was his own fault for not taking time to figure things out for himself and for Chris. Maggie was right. Chris went along with it because he thought it was what Jake wanted. It took a lot of thinking, but Jake saw it.
"Does that mean I won't be seeing you for a while?" Chris asked. It was already a rare occurrence.
Jake didn't answer, not sure what the circumstances would be. "No, that's not what it means," he finally said, realizing that his words really didn't mean anything at all. "I'm still figuring out what you and I can be."
Sighing, Chris bit his lower lip and looked down at the table. "Just because we're not together doesn't mean we can't ever see each other."
"It's tough," Jake said. "Seeing you with him. It's stupid. I'm stupid, but it's how I feel."
"You're not stupid," Chris said.
"I used to make you smile like that. We were really happy together."
"We were really unhappy sometimes, too," Chris added. "The good times make you forget that."
"The things I'll always remember involve you," Jake said. "It's weird imagining that happening without you."
"You're already doing it. This play. I won't be there with you," Chris said, his voice quiet.
"I told you that day: I had to go through our problems, then I had to go through it again when I read the book. Then, when I helped you with the recording, it was there again. You shattered me over and over. Add the movie to that, too. Seeing it, hearing it, reading it. You put me through all of that."
"I wrote it to try and get past it. Look where I am now. I'm still not done processing it."
"You're pretty far along, Chris. You've moved on."
"You need to, too, especially since we decided that it wasn't worth it anymore."
"It was more than that."
"We don't need to go into this again," Chris said, feeling his face heating up.
"I'm sorry," Jake said. "I didn't mean to rehash this again."
"I should get going, I have a deadline," Chris said. He could feel eyes start to well and the last thing he wanted was a public crying session.
"Don't lie to me. You've never had a deadline you didn't finish two weeks before."
"I don't want to remember you like this," Chris said. "The Jake I remember is loving and thoughtful, not hurtful." He finished off his coffee and started to stand up when Jake stopped him.
"Don't leave it like this. I love you and I want you to know that. That's all I wanted this to be. I'm going to New York and I'm going to be thinking about you."
"I love you, too. I always will," Chris said, hearing his own voice trail off. "But we tried. This is how things turned out."
"Do you want another coffee?"
Chris shook his head. "I'll see you in New York, Jake. I hope we can both figure out how this works by then."
Jake got out of his chair and pulled Chris into a hug. "I didn't mean to make you mad," he said softly.
Chris rubbed at Jake's back. "I'll see you soon. I promise."
"Do you want a ride back to your place?"
"I can walk."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Chris said. He pressed his forehead against Jake's and rubbed his shoulder. "I'll always love you. I promise that."
"You're making a lot of promises," Jake said.
"I always keep them."
"Always."
Chris took his time on the short walk home, stretching it out as long as he could to give himself time to think about everything that had transpired. Hands in his pockets, his steps were deliberate and slow. What should have taken no more than 15 minutes took almost an hour. When he got to his own home, he bypassed the front door entirely, choosing to go around to the back, where he ended up leaning against the guardrail at the canal. The water was rippling, the wind keeping everything in constant motion. He looked over to Sebastian's house out of habit and couldn't see anything of note. Without the sunshine, there weren't even joggers out. It was almost too calm.
"You're back," Armie said as he wrapped his arms around Chris' waist. He felt Chris lean back into him. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Armie approach him. "I have good news."
"You smell like laundry," Chris said before turning around and hoisting himself up so that he was sitting on the railing with his hands holding onto Armie's shoulders. He nuzzled Armie's neck to confirm his suspicions: Armie's shirt was fresh from the dryer.
"Liz settled for the money. It's done now. Everything. No more lawyers. No more fighting. No more stress."
Chris had almost forgotten about Armie's divorce complications. From the beginning, he assumed it wasn't any of his business. "That's great," Chris said, feeling the back of Armie's neck. "One less thing for you to worry about." He felt Armie's hands slip under his sweatshirt and sliding around to feel the skin on his back. Armie kissed Chris' lips, smiling when he felt Chris' hands cup his cheeks and run thgouth the hair at the back of his head.
Armie slid his hands lower, dipping into Chris' pants. He felt Chris stiffen, but it didn't keep him from pushing things further. Chris wrapped one leg around Armie's waist and reached between their bodies, cupping Armie's dick through his pants. He boldly reached inside, stroking Armie's stiffening cock as he nipped at his neck.
"You want me to get you off?" Chris asked, his voice breathy.
"We shouldn't," Armie said, not expecting Chris to have gone as far as he did. "Not like this."
"I didn't think so," Chris said, giving Armie a quick kiss. He hopped down to the path and headed back toward the house. Armie reached for Chris' hand and chuckled. "Come upstairs. I'll take care of you."
Later, Armie was wandering the supermarket aisles, his forehead furrowed. He canceled Chris' food delivery service almost as soon as he moved in, saying that he'd take care of everything on that front from now on. The only problem was figuring out what to make, especially when he wanted to try everything.
"Does he like eggplant?" Nick asked. He'd flown in from New York to visit Armie that afternoon. They'd known each other for years Nick could tell right away that something had changed in Armie after he met Chris. The manic energy he was known for had settled a little, his focus was sharper. He was happier, which anyone who knew him could attest to.
"He eats everything," Armie said, thumb flying over his phone to look up recipes. "Makes it easy and hard."
"Last time I was out here all we had was Mexican food," Nick recalled.
"That's all you wanted," Armie said. "There's no good Mexican in New York. Not the real stuff, at least. Everyone knows that."
Nick couldn't argue with that. "Did he like that Rolex you got him?"
"Wears it every day," Armie said, practically beaming at the thought. He stopped in front of the magazines, scanning the covers. Without seeing anything of note, he kept on walking. "We talked about the house. We're going to stay."
Nick nodded. His team had found a few bigger houses in the area for Armie and Chris to consider, but it looked like the two would be staying put and Nick would have to book a hotel room or crash on the couch when he was in town. "That's too bad."
"The office has a sleeper couch in it now," Armie said. "We don't have people over that much. And Chris doesn't have family. His friends are all here."
"Is it his house or yours?" Nick asked, unable to turn off his broker mentality.
"It's his," Armie clarified. "I'm okay with it. I don't really have a choice."
"You're kidding, right?"
"It's a pride thing for him. I'm not standing in the way of that."
"He could sell it. It wouldn't be at a loss."
"I don't know if he'd be willing to move," Armie said. "I like the neighborhood, too. It's fine for now."
"It just seems like you've given up a lot for him," Nick said, raising an eyebrow.
"Doesn't feel like it," Armie assured him. "I'm good with things. Really good."
"I'm just saying. I like the guy, but you both are keeping a commission from me."
Armie smacked at Nick's arm, "Chris doesn't get your sense of humor. I don't blame him."
"I'm an acquired taste. I'm also short on my quota this month, so help a guy out. The house is only a little bigger than my place in New York. That's saying something."
"Sorry," Armie said, shrugging. "Can't buy a McMansion just so you get employee of the month. Also, it's not small. What are you even talking about?"
"Can't blame me for trying," Nick said. "But what's next. If you guys are living together, you have to know that we're going to ask when you're going to get married. If you're getting married."
"We haven't talked about it," Armie said. By now, the two of them were just wandering the supermarket to keep the conversation going. Armie had grabbed enough to fill the fridge without really even thinking. Chris ran to clear his mind--Armie shopped for groceries and grilled meat.
"Divorce messes people up," Nick tossed out.
Armie chuffed, "You have no fucking idea."
A few hours later, Chris was lying beside Armie on the back patio's lounger, resting his eyes and feeling Armie's chest rise and fall as he breathed and talked to his best friend. Chris only took in bits and pieces of the conversation, but as he felt the world slow down around him, cozying up next to Armie was the only place he wanted to be
"You guys are pretty cute, I'll admit it," Nick said before taking a sip of his beer. He sat across from the two of them, the table between them littered with dishes and glasses dripping with condensation.
"I just have to keep him fed," Armie joked. Nick had his reservations at first, but he'd never seen Armie pursue anyone with the passion that he had with Chris. Nick thought it may have been the pedigree, but Armie dismissed it. Armie said it was real love, respect, and admiration. Nick rolled his eyes, but saw it right there in front of him. It was clear when Armie ran his fingers through Chris' hair and when Chris pressed closer to him, trying to get as much contact as possible.
"I had one more six-pack," Sebastian said as he approached the party. He'd gone back to his own house to see if he had any beer stashed away. He walked right past Chris and Armie, setting the beers into the refrigerator before rejoining the guys outside. "This gets old after a while," he said, gesturing at the couple. "One of them will zone out and you end up talking to yourself the whole night."
"That's not true," Chris said, eyes still shut. "I'm listening."
"But you're not actively participating," Sebastian said.
Chris motioned to get up out of his very comfortable position smashed into Armie's contours, but Armie pushed him back down, a soft laugh escaping his mouth. "You're fine. Actively listen from right here."
"You two are too much," Sebastian said. "But like we were saying, as soon as I want to take a vacation, I book a job. I wanted to go to Maui, but pre-production starts in a week."
"Must be tough," Armie said. He had a few auditions, but there was nothing concrete yet. Debbie, his agent, was trying to pivot him into some different kinds of movies, but that meant waiting. Lots of waiting.
"Let me write something for you real quick, Sebs," Chris joked.
"No, no, I have first dibs on that," Armie said.
When the night air got too cold, the group moved inside. Chris couldn't remember ever having this many people in the house at once, but it felt good. He'd grown so accustomed to being a solitary person that four seemed like a full-blown party. It was so vastly different from the past ten years, where he and Jake basically cloistered themselves two hours away from everything.
"You okay?" Nick asked, noticing Chris zoning out in the kitchen.
"Life's weird, isn't it? I didn't think that I'd manage after everything, but then this happens."
"You come right up to what seems the end of the world and realize that life goes on," Nick said, rummaging through the cabinets for more snacks. "I read that on a takeout menu or fortune cookie or something."
"Knowledge comes from all over," Chris said. "And we're out of junk food. There's guac in the fridge, but you'll have to run out and buy chips."
"Armie would never let the house run out of junk food," Nick said. "Are you sure there's no stash in here?"
"You can ask him if you don't believe me," Chris said. "I usually eat it with carrot sticks."
"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that," Nick said.
"We're going to be out in New York soon, actually. I have some stuff I need to do out there in a few months."
"I'll see you on my turf, then," Nick said, grinning. "Going for work?"
"Pleasure, mostly," Chris said. "I haven't really talked to Armie about it."
"Does he ever say no to you?"
"More than anyone thinks. I don't get why everyone assumes he bends to my every whim."
"Because he tells everyone that he'd do anything for you."
"It's a figure of speech," Chris said. "He also says he's a great cook, but we both know he just grills meat."
"Also, what's it like to kiss someone with a beard?"
"I'm used to it."
"That didn't really answer my question."
"You can kiss him and find out. I'll watch."
"It was a sincere question."
"It was a sincere answer, too," Chris said before walking back to the couch. He sat beside Armie and gave him a quick kiss, one of his hands coming up to feel Armie's soft, fuzzy beard. "Feels like a scratchy sweater," Chris whispered, smiling against Armie's cheek.
"What?" Armie asked, rubbing at Chris' hip.
"Nothing," Chris said. Nick watched them, eating guacamole from the container with a spoon, his eyebrow raised. "I love you. That's all."
"Ready for tomorrow?"
"It wouldn't be the first time."
The next morning, Chris woke up in a familiar tangle of long limbs. Armie's frame made for plenty of places to snuggle into and Chris wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation of waking up with Armie spooned up behind him or his own body latched onto Armie's side as he slept on his back. He buried his face into Armie's chest, half-trying to get a few more minutes of sleep, but he felt Armie's hand running up his back, so there would be no chance of that. The bedroom was designed to catch the morning light, so neither of them made a move to get out of bed just yet. The soft light shone through the gauzy drapes, casting a glow over the two of them. "You awake?" Chris heard. Armie hadn't moved his body at all, but it was clear he wasn't asleep.
"No," Chris said, pulling Armie even tighter to him.
"My head hurts," Armie said, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "Did I drink too much?"
"Guess we can't go," Chris said, half-joking. He ran his hand over Armie's chest, feeling the soft hair and firm muscle. Letting out a long, slow breath, Chris finally looked up at Armie's face. His forehead was furrowed and he didn't have the usual lazy smile that he woke up with. "Need me to get you anything?"
"No," Armie said automatically. He sighed a second later. "Yes. We should get ready, anyway."
"Stay here," Chris said as he peeled himself off of Armie and got out of bed. The cool air hit him suddenly, but he wasn't one to start the morning at half-speed. He picked up his last night's underwear from the floor and slipped them on before heading downstairs.
In the kitchen, he grabbed a can of seltzer from the fridge and a bottle of Advil. Glancing outside, he could see Nick sitting on the patio, right where last night's festivities started. He was wearing a sweatshirt, the hood pulled up over his head. "Did you get some coffee already?" Chris asked from the back door.
Nick held up his mug, not even turning around to face Chris. "Armie just got up."
"Cool."
"I'll be upstairs if you need me," Chris said. Not getting any sort of response, he went back up to the bedroom. Armie was sitting on the edge of the bed and gave Chris an appreciative look when he saw what was in his hands.
"Feel okay?"
"I will," Armie said, downing two pills and taking a healthy chug of the fizzy water. He rested his forehead on Chris' abs, chuckling when he felt Chris' hands try to smooth his hair down. It was wild, which wasn't unusual for the morning, but Chris' gentle touch wasn't going to do anything to the tangles. "You're so good to me."
"Hardly," Chris said. "Nick's in a mood downstairs."
"Don't worry about him," Armie said. "We've got to get to my brother's place."
"Then you've got to shower," Chris said. "I can grab your clothes."
"My head," Armie said. "What would I do without you?"
"Probably have someone else nurse your hangover. C'mon,' Chris said, pulling Armie to his feet.
Hearing the shower run, Chris made short work of gathering up their garment bags and shoes. The commute wouldn't be so bad on a Saturday morning, so there was no rush just yet. "Feel better?" Chris asked when he joined Armie in the shower. He ran his hands over Armie's shoulders, watching as his body slowly came back to life. He pushed Armie's hair off his forehead and kissed him on the lips, tasting toothpaste.
Armie's hands came around to Chris' waist and he held their bodies close, feeling the hot water run down their skin. "You're the best."
Chris' lips were back on his, but both of them knew there wasn't time to linger in the shower. With his migraine, Armie wasn't even in the mood, but the combination of the water and Chris' body on his just felt so great. Chris jumped slightly when he felt Armie's finger at his hole. It was still sensitive from the night before, but he groaned into Armie's wet neck as he felt the dull stretch and jolts up his back from fingertips tapping his prostate.
"Can you cum from just my fingers?"
Armie shuddered when he felt Chris' hand stroke at his dick. Armie jabbed another finger in and Chris popped up onto his tiptoes, whimpering against Armie's throat. Massaging at his prostate, Armie could almost feel Chris coming undone. Knowing that he'd fucked Chris the night before and seeing just how reactive he was being, Armie didn't want to push things too far, but he could feel his headache fading away with every groan he pulled from Chris' mouth.
"You can," Armie whispered. "I know you can."
Chris tugged at Armie's balls and stroked at his thick cock, trying to distract himself from the potent mix of pleasure and pain coming from his hole. Legs quivering, Chris worked to squeeze his ring around Armie's fingers. His whole body felt like a live wire, water cascading down over him and Chris, the steam intensifying their heavy breaths. Chris was shaking, struggling to stay on his feet, but Armie pushed him against the wall of the shower and fucked his fingers in quicker, twisting and scissoring them as he kissed Chris' neck and jaw.
"Armie," Chris said, half-groaning. "I'm close." Armie bit down on Chris' collarbone and pressed hard on his spot, eliciting a deep, loud grunt from Chris' throat. Feeling his hole clamp down, Armie could tell Chris was cumming, even as the running water washed away all evidence of his orgasm. A few more jerks of Chris' hand and Armie was shooting, too, a shiver going through his body as his oversensitive dick rubbed against Chris' side.
Steadying himself, Chris felt at his chest and shoulder, catching his breath as he felt the sting of water on open skin. "Nobody will see it," Armie said, his blue eyes awash with worry. "Got carried away."
"It's fine," Chris said. "You just surprised me."
Making quick work of cleaning themselves off, the two of them got dressed in a daze, Armie still feeling a dull throb in his head and Chris hoping they didn't leave anything behind. Nick was waiting for them downstairs as they gathered their things and got ready to leave.
"Is there a bagel place around here?" he asked as they packed up the car.
"Not as good as anything you've got at home," Armie said. "How about a breakfast burrito? They're more Chris' thing."
"When in Venice," Nick said.
"You have a burrito," Chris finished the thought for him. "Are we late?"
"They won't start without us," Armie said. "Don't worry about it."
An hour later, Armie watched as Chris stood in front of a full-length mirror, smoothing his tuxedo jacket over his chest, the deep blue cloth looking crisp against his white shirt. Their eyes met in the reflection and Armie could see Chris blush slightly. They were in the guest bedroom at The Castle, which was already full of commotion. Florists, caterers, coordinators: the whole house was buzzing. "You look amazing," Armie said. Chris was just grateful none of the evidence from Armie's overzealous affections showed over his shirt.
"Help me with the boutonniere," Chris asked, handing Armie a deep purple calla lily.
Armie pinned it to Chris' lapel, smoothing the shoulders of his tuxedo and kissing Chris softly on the lips. Chris took stock, looking himself up and down in the mirror one last time before taking a step back to focus on Armie. It was almost too much to take in. His height, combined with his dark blond hair and blue eyes, made Armie look like a real-life Adonis. Add a tuxedo to that and Chris almost had to remind himself to breathe.
"Is Nick already out there?" Armie asked.
"Everyone out," Chris heard from the coordinator. Before he could even voice a protest, he and Armie were being ushered downstairs.
"I haven't even seen my brother all morning," Armie said, holding Chris' hand as they walked out to the backyard. Chris stopped at the back door, just like he'd been told earlier in the week, and surveyed the whole scene. The yard had been transformed. There were rows of white chairs. Cascades of white flowers and lanterns hung from the trees and people were milling around, looking for seats and greeting each other. The pool sparkled and even though it wasn't a huge yard by any means, it seemed made for something like this. Chris could see Nick outside, speaking to Armie's parents. Viktor, who had come down to join his groomsmen, looked flushed when he hugged Armie.
"Congratulations," Chris said as he was pulled into a similar bear hug. "It looks great out there."
"I hope so," Viktor said. Chris could feel the anticipation radiating off of him. "You're next. Angelia and I both think so."
"No, no," Chris said, shaking his head. "Let's get you out there."
Armie pulled his brother into another hug, quicker this time, and made his way to the back door. "Ready?" he asked Chris. He grabbed onto Chris' hand and the two of them made their way outside. Chris was surprised at the intimacy of it all. He'd assumed the wedding would be a huge production, but having it at the family house made sense. Everyone felt at home and Chris just felt swept up in it all. A harpist started strumming Pachelbel's "Canon in D" as Armie and Chris strode down the makeshift aisle. Armie was grinning from ear to ear, but Chris could already feel the emotion welling up inside him.
He tried to stay stoic, but he could feel the prick of tears in his eyes. He held Armie's hand tight as they walked past the Hammer family and a few friends. When they got to the end, Chris was reluctant to let go of Armie, but he took a deep breath and took his spot. There was a small arbor of branches covered with gardenia and greenery, where the officiant stood. He caught Armie's hand again and used his other one to wipe a few of the tears from his eyes. "Are you okay?" Armie whispered as he leaned over.
Chris didn't answer, but took a slow breath and straightened himself, doing his best to be presentable in front of everyone. The ceremony itself was a blur, but Chris was grateful that Armie didn't let go of his hand. Chris didn't even realize it was over until he heard the harp music start up again and felt a gentle tug from Armie. Everyone was clapping and smiling for the newlyweds, paying no mind to Chris and Armie as they retreated to the other side of the yard.
"What's going on?" Armie asked. He wiped at Chris' face with his pocket square.
"I don't know," Chris said. "Just feel really emotional."
Armie pulled him close, rubbing his back. "Take your time."
Everything seemed to bubble up at once. The talk with Jake. The wedding. Viktor's joke and Nick's attitude. Chris didn't know why he was feeling so sensitive, but everything came together to form the perfect storm.
"I'm fine," Chris said after a few minutes. "Don't let me get everyone down."
"Talk to me," Armie said. "You don't just cry for no reason."
"Your parents probably think I'm insane," Chris said, giving Armie a weak smile. "I must look like a mess."
"Don't worry about that. What's going on?"
"I feel like I can't give you what you want. I saw how excited you were about this wedding," Chris said. "Then, I had a really bad talk with Jake. Nick has been weird. I don't know. I'm letting you down."
Armie shushed Chris and pulled him close again. "Nick is just in a bad mood. He's the only one left. Everyone's paired off but him," Armie explained. "And all I want is to be with you. You're overthinking things again."
"I heard you talking to your parents about getting married the other night," Chris said. "We've talked about that."
"We were just talking," Armie said. "My mom just gets going. She loves you just as much as I do. Get out of your head. I'm not asking you to do anything."
"I hope they just think I'm the sort of person that gets emotional at weddings," Chris said, finally composing himself. He wiped his face with his hands.
"Maybe you're a little crazy," Armie said, giving a soft laugh. He led Chris by the hand back to the celebration and hoped that the festivities would be enough to push any worry to the back of his mind.
All it took for Armie to start dancing was two flutes of Champagne and one best man toast. After he'd thoroughly embarrassed his brother and before their lunch entrees even arrived, Armie was embarrassing himself on the dance floor. He and Viktor did their best to dance along with the DJ's tunes, but it was all flailing limbs and off-beat spins. Chris joined them, maybe just to draw the attention away from Armie, but definitely to just feel Armie's hands on him.
"You're having a lot of fun," Chris said, finally smiling. There were more people coming out to join them. Chris figured that everyone was finishing up with the food, because the DJ started playing more up-tempo songs.
"It's a day for celebration!" Armie said, the enthusiasm almost knocking Chris over.
Chris pulled Armie in for a kiss, which seemed to bring a round of applause from everyone in attendance. "Let's not take the spotlight away from your brother," Chris said, his hands on Armie's neck and shoulders.
"You're right," Armie said. He led Chris away from the dancefloor, undoing his bow tie with his other hand and unbuttoning his shirt.
"They're still taking photos," Chris chided. Armie ignored him, settling down at their table and pulling Chris into his lap.
"My dad told me that the secret to marriage is to keep your partner happy. Not in those exact words, but you get it," Armie said. "That didn't work the first time, but I think keeping you happy is a good idea."
"Generally speaking, I think that your dad is right," Chris said, moving to his own seat, only to have Armie pull him back. Nick was seated at the table, too. He didn't look amused. "You should eat something."
Armie grabbed another flute of Champagne instead, downing it with a flourish. "I'm good. You're driving home anyway."
"And even though you said that you didn't ever want to get married again," Armie started.
"Stop, stop," Chris said, his eyes wide. "Don't say anything about that. Not today."
"Get him some water," Nick said from across the table. He looked more amused now than he had before, Chris noticed. "He may have had some shots when you weren't watching."
Armie grabbed his water glass at the simple mention of it. "We should be dancing," Chris said to both of them. He turned to look at the guests, who had all abandoned their meals and try their best at the electric slide. Armie jumped up and was back out with his relatives, finally letting Chris sit down in his own chair.
"You guys are good together," Nick said. "It's nice to see."
"Thanks," Chris said, moving over to sit in an empty seat next to Nick. "That means a lot."
Nick half-shrugged. "He was in a bad place before you. I'm glad you were there for him. I tried."
"It's tough when you're across the country," Chris said. "It's hard to hear some things from your best friend."
"He never listens to me, anyway," Nick added. "But things turned out okay for the both of you."
"So far, so good," Chris said. Armie was dancing with his mom now. Even though he was encouraging Chris to join them, he sat with Nick and wondered when they'd get some cake.
"You really aren't going to marry him?"
Chris shook his head. "Not doing that again. As fun as this all is," he said, motioning to everything around them, "it's just one day."
"That's not a very positive outlook."
"I've lost a lot in my life," Chris said. "I don't want to add one more thing to that if the newness of this wears off for him. Things are good the way they are."
"Also not the greatest way to look at things," Nick said. "But don't let me kill your vibe."
"I shouldn't be talking about such depressing things at someone's wedding," Chris said.
Nick started to say something, but caught himself. Telling stories from Armie's wedding probably wasn't a great idea. If Chris wanted to know anything about that, it wouldn't take more than a quick Google search.
"Look," Armie had said a few months ago. "We've got bad records, but that doesn't mean you should forget about the idea entirely. If we're together in a few years, what if you look back and you think about all the time we wasted."
Chris had let that thought sink in, but he didn't mention it again. He'd decided that he didn't want to be someone who'd gone through a divorce, but he couldn't do anything about that. Now, he did have some control over being a two-time divorcee. No second marriage meant no second chance at feeling like a failure. Armie left well enough alone. He didn't bring it up again.
But in the months and weeks leading up to Viktor's wedding, it was on both of their minds. Front of mind, but neither of them spoke about it. Armie figured that Chris had made up his mind and he was starting to accept that maybe another wedding wasn't in his future, either. He'd always seen himself as a married man.
"Dance!" Armie said, coming up to both Nick and Chris.
"Did you eat anything?" Chris asked. "I don't think more Champagne is going to help your hangover."
"I'll deal with it tomorrow."
"You mean I'll deal with it," Chris said.
"Nag, nag," Nick said, shaking his head. "Looks like you two have this whole old-married-couple thing down."
Armie pulled Chris up out of his chair, though at this point, there was little resistance coming from Chris now. He joined Armie out on the floor again, though the DJ had slowed things down. Chris slid his hands up to Armie's shoulders and let him move their bodies together, swaying with the music. Their heights didn't allow for cheek-to-cheek slow dancing, but they did their best.
"Having fun?" Armie asked.
Chris leaned up and gave Armie a kiss. He'd deal with the second wave of Armie's hangover and everyone else's expectations tomorrow. Now, right in this moment, he'd just dance with the man he loved.
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