CHAPTER 4: Full Disclosure
"What the hell!? You named your son Ian!"
"We... I...," Matt tried to explain, but Ian wasn't in the mood to hear anything.
"Don't talk to me asshole! Just eat!" Ian yelled and refilled his glass with wine, downed it, and filled it again. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. In fact, most of the evening was spent in silence. Ian sat on one end of the futon and read, and Matt sat on the other end and watched a movie.
Finally, around eight o'clock Ian stood up, grabbed his jacket, and walked out of the rental. Ian wasn't sure where he was headed, so he picked a direction and started walking. He eventually found the Old Colony Tap. The Old Colony Tap was every inch a dive bar, but the beer was cheap and Matt wasn't anywhere to be seen. That made it perfect. Ian grabbed a stool at the bar, ordered a beer, and watched the Red Sox and Yankees game. The locals were all Sox partisans, and two Yankee fans at the end of the bar were taking grief. The bartender asked Ian who he was cheering for.
Ian said, "I got no dog in this fight. I'm a Cubs fan."
The guy sitting next to Ian said, "He's one of us. Cubs and Red Sox fans know what it's like to suffer a World Series drought. The Yankees on the other hand, miss the series two years in a row, and they go buy themselves a new team."
Soon Ian was joking and laughing with his new friends. He forgot all about Matt. When Brock Holt hit a bases loaded, two out, two strike, triple in the top of the 8th to put the Sox up 8-1, lan said, "Barkeep, a round on me, and a box of tissues for our Yankee friends." The gesture solidified Ian's position as an honorary local.
Boston ended up winning 8-4, and soon after the game ended the bar started to clear out. Most of the locals had to go to work in the morning. Soon the only people left in the bar were Ian, the bartender, and the two guys from New York. Ian decided to check his Grindr app, and who would pop up but the two New Yorkers at the end of the bar. Ian looked up, and they were both smiling and hot.
Ian walked to their end of the bar to get a better look. The first thing Ian noticed was that, at least what he could see with their clothes on, they matched their Grindr profiles.
"Hello, I'm Ian."
"I'm Josh."
"And, I'm Kurt."
Josh and Kurt were both in their early 20s, well built, and handsome.
"You two look very much alike. You wouldn't happen to be brothers?" Ian asked.
"Cousins," Josh said.
"Would that be fuckin' cousins?" Ian said wickedly, and both boys smiled.
Kurt said, "I am an engineering student at MIT, and Josh is in the Coast Guard and stationed here in Provincetown. I don't have any Monday classes, so when he has weekend leave, I pay him a visit."
"Nice," Ian said. "I was just at Harvard for my law classes 10-year reunion. I decided on a little vacation before heading back to Chicago."
"Are you alone," Kurt asked.
"Unfortunately, I have a classmate I met at the reunion staying with me."
"Is he gay?" Josh asked.
"No, he's been playing at being straight for the last ten years."
The boys both smiled, and Kurt asked, "So do you want to play at being our favorite uncle."
Ian threw back the last of his beer, then said, "Fuck, let's do it."
Kurt had a room just down the street. It wasn't the Ritz Carlton, but it had all the essentials. Once in the door, there was no pretense that this was anything more than a random hookup. As soon as they stripped, they were all over each other. The boys could tell back at the bar that Ian took care of himself, what they did not know was he had a hairy chest and uncut cock. lt was like they were 10 years olds and just got a new bike for Christmas.
Josh and Kurt had obviously done this before, and were well stocked with condoms, lube, and other essentials. Ian fucked both Josh and Kurt, then watched as the two fucked each other. Around two in the morning, Ian said he needed to get back to his place. He was fine walking back alone, but the Josh and Kurt insisted on walking with him. When they arrived, Ian gave each of them a kiss on the cheek and said, "You don't know just how much I needed that. Thanks."
When he got up to the rental, Matt was in bed. So, Ian stripped off down to his boxers, and just before crawling under the covers, said "fuck it" and took them off as well. Ian knew he stank of beer, sweat, and sex, but didn't give a shit. Matt could just live with it.
The next morning, Ian slept in. What finally woke him up was the smell of bacon. Just as he threw the covers back, he got a whiff of how rank he really was and decided to take a shower. No reason to ruin breakfast.
When he was finished showering and getting dressed. Ian walked out of the bedroom and found that Matt had made a pile of pancakes and bacon.
"I guess you figured I would be hungry," Ian said.
"Yeah," was all Matt said as he handed Ian a cup of coffee.
The two ate breakfast in silence. Finally, Ian said. "Thanks, this was just what I needed."
Without looking up, Matt said, "You're welcome."
Again, there was silence, finally Ian said, "I'm sorry. I overreacted. I was an ass. But tell me, why. Why did you name your youngest son Ian?"
Matt put down his fork, took a deep breath and said, "I have thought about you everyday since I walked out of that apartment 10 years ago. I fucked up and I knew it. I didn't know how to tell my parents I was in love with a man. My mom was still in a bad way after Robby died. I was afraid telling her I was gay, and that she wouldn't have grandchildren, would push her over the edge. Then Ellen wanted to get back together, and she set up an interview for me with her father's law firm. You were always at the top of the class, but I was just an average student. I wasn't getting the sweet offers you and others were getting. So, I went out for the interview. It became pretty clear the only shot I had was if I were part of the family."
"So then when Ellen told me she was pregnant, it was like a sign or something. I wouldn't have to tell my parents I'm gay, my mom would get a grandchild, and I would get a job in a decent firm. I thought I could pull it off. I obviously could perform in bed with Ellen, and she seemed satisfied. Then, when we had the kids, I was so happy. I love my kids so much. I told myself I would do anything to give them the best life any kid could have."
"That still doesn't answer why you named your son Ian." Ian said.
"I named my sons Robert and Ian because you two were the guys I loved more than anyone else in the world until I had my own kids. It was a memorial to what I'd lost. I know that sounds morbid, but I hoped my sons would have the happiness and joy Bobby was denied, and I gave up."
"Did Ellen know about us?"
"No, and even if she did, it wouldn't have mattered. Marrying me was just a social step for her. I was a good looking Harvard law graduate. She told me once she knew I would sire beautiful kids. You know Ellen never took the bar exam. She was just at Harvard to find a social consort and a partner for her father's law firm. I turned out to be a disappointment on both counts."
"A year after Ian was born, she found someone who was more up to her social standing and started seeing him on the side. He's a hot shot litigator and is definitely on a partner track at the firm. I haven't received an invitation to the wedding, but I've heard it's next September. That's why Ellen's father wants me out of Denver. He doesn't want Ellen's ex hanging around Denver and working at the firm."
"Okay, something I have always wondered about," Ian said, "how did you get back with Ellen?"
"We'd been in a study group first semester of our third year. One night, we'd been studying at her apartment, and the rest of the group had gone home. We'd been drinking and she just blurted out, `The rumor is that you're gay.' I denied it, so she said prove it. So, we had sex. Then all during Christmas break she was texting me. At first it was just chat, but it began to become more, I don't know, pushy. What I later learned was that her cousin announced her engagement at the family Christmas gathering and Ellen and her were in competition to be their grandfather's favorite."
"So, after Christmas, I had to get back a couple of days before everyone else because I needed to set up an internship. Suddenly out of the blue, Ellen was interning with the same firm. I later learned that a partner at the firm was a friend of her father's. Anyway, we hung out since no one was around yet, and well, we ended up spending a couple of night together when I was too drunk to go home."
"Okay," Ian said, "stop it right there. You do a lot of stupid things when you drink, you know that."
"Yeah, that's why I've cut way back, I mean way back, although you couldn't tell it by how I've behaved this weekend."
"Just letting you know, I've got my eye on you," Ian said. "So, what you're telling me is she got you drunk and took advantage of you."
"No, I knew what I was doing when we had sex, and truth be told, I was willing to fuck her to get a shot at an interview, if for no other reason than to show you a big firm was interested in me."
"Hey," Ian said, "Dona't go trying to put any of this on me."
"I'm not, but I did measure myself against you, and I wasn't doing so well. I needed an ego boost."
"So, did Ellen intentionally get pregnant? Were you not using protection?"
"I don't know. She told me she messed up taking the pill. That she was depressed and anxious about classes, and missed taking them for a couple of days. I knew she was under a lot of pressure, so I believed her. She said she didn't want to get an abortion, that she was going to have the baby. I was brought up being told, if you messed around and got a girl pregnant, you paid the piper and married her. I asked if she wanted me to marry her, and she said yes."
"Why didn't you tell me what was going on? You just left. No explanation, nothing."
"Because, as hurt as you would've been, you'd have still tried to fix it between the two of us. I knew I couldn't risk trying to be `just friends' with you. I had to close that door for good if I had any chance of pulling it off with Ellen."
"Wow, you were,... no, you are a fucking mess."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"I can't answer that right now. How about we just both try to get through today without doing something we regret the next morning," Ian said with a sigh.
"Last night?" Matt asked.
"Hell no. I don't have one single regret about last night. I had a fucking good time with two hot studs. My regret is being so pissed at supper I didn't even taste my prime Angus steak. I feel like I owe some poor steer an apology for failing to properly honor his sacrifice."
Both Ian and Matt shared a smile.