Brandon's Baby Boy © 2015 by David Lee
This is a short fictional tale which is solely the product of my imagination. If you like it, I'd love to hear from you at: dlee169@hotmail.com. Putting "Brandon" in the subject-line will help me retrieve your email from the spam folder if it gets in there.
I'd like to thank my editors, Tom H and David S who helped improve it. I'd also like to thank Nifty for providing this free service. If you have the means to do so, please make a donation toward the upkeep of this site. Thanks, David Lee.
Brandon's Baby Boy
When I first saw Brandon at the gym, I thought perhaps he was one of those stuck-up types who are pretty well built, but have bigger egos than muscles. He never talked to anyone and stayed completely to himself. I, on the other hand, have never met a stranger, so it was kind of a challenge for me to get acquainted with him. Perhaps he was just shy.
Brandon was a good looking young man who appeared to be in his middle 20's, about the same age as me. He had a trim body, with broad shoulders which tapered down to a slim waist and tight bubble butt like someone who had wrestled during his teens.
I had numerous chances to appraise his form because we were often nude in the locker room at the same time. He didn't seem to be shy about displaying his personal assets, and indeed, had no reason to be.
Like me, he stood only about 5" 9'and we were eye to eye when we encountered each other. Despite swimming in high school and college, I wasn't in as good shape as he was, having an extra five pounds which seemed to stick to my waist. He had abs to die for. Being around him made me want to get my college bod back!
I saw the wedding band on his left hand and couldn't help wondering if his wife appreciated his body and his dick as much as I did. The latter lay across a plump ball sac hanging about 4 ½ inches soft. It was neatly cut, as if the doctor had been a perfectionist. I judged his dick to be almost exactly the same size as my uncut piece which I knew grew to a full seven inches when aroused. I could only guess if his did the same.
One day in the steam room after working out, I struck up a conversation with him. He seemed pleasant enough, and smiled as he responded.
I satisfied myself with the fact that I'd broken the ice and didn't quiz him like a reporter.
He told me that he was on the late shift at ADM and came in to work out on his way home from his job. He didn't offer a lot of extra details, but politely responded to my inquiries. He also asked a bit about my life in return.
I informed him that I was a teacher getting my exercise early to set me up for a day of facing the hormone-driven animals at Kennedy high school.
He laughed at my assessment of my students. His wife and he had graduated from a small school district halfway across the state where the kids were pretty tame, but he admitted that many of them, including him, were probably horny like the ones I dealt with.
The following day, I asked him if he had any children. He grinned and said that his wife was pregnant and the recent sonogram had revealed his first child would be a son.
I took a chance and joked that if it had been easy to tell the child's sex, he must have a good-sized dick like his daddy.
He blushed a little, but the big grin on his face let me know he was flattered rather than offended.
Since I had brought up the subject of dicks, he felt free to ask my opinion about circumcision. He said that I was among the few guys he'd seen at the gym who still had a foreskin and wondered what choice I would make for a son of my own. I assured him that I wouldn't allow the elective surgery to be performed on a son of mine because I loved my skin. He nodded, admitting that he felt a twinge of envy when he looked at me. He thanked me for confirming the decision he was about to make.
He suddenly seemed embarrassed at having admitted that he'd checked me out, and quickly changed the subject by mentioning that they were naming the baby Nathan.
Still thinking of his beautiful cock, I could almost envision him planting the seed to fertilize the egg that would become Nathan.
Moving the conversation to a higher plane, I suggested that he should read to the child as soon as he was born, emphasizing that studies had shown being read to increases a child's intelligence and success in school. He perked right up and told me he would do it for sure. He wanted his son to have every advantage possible in order to be smarter than his old man.
After those first couple of conversations, Brandon would always smile and speak the minute he saw me. Or, if he was too far across the gym to call out, he'd give a hearty wave. It always pleased me to know that I was the one person at the club whom he normally talked to. As I had suspected, he was bashful instead of being conceited.
As the weeks passed, we visited more and more. I learned details about his life that probably few people knew. He had been orphaned at a young age and had no living relative to raise him except for an aged grandmother who had taken him to live with her after his parent's tragic death in an automobile crash. She had showered him with love and taught him right from wrong, but had never been able to provide everything she wanted him to have. Unfortunately, she'd died shortly after he got married.
Though she couldn't afford to send him for his BA at the university, she had instilled in him a great work ethic. That, along with a couple of years of junior college, had landed him a good-paying position where he operated computer-controlled machinery. He was a kind of technician rather than a laborer.
His wife, Amber, was also an orphan as far as they knew. Her mother had died recently, but her father had disappeared when she was little, and she had no idea if he was still alive.
Amber had taken enough schooling to be a paralegal in a law office. Between them, they were living better than they'd ever expected to and were in the process of buying their first house. Everything seemed to be falling in place for them in their quest for the American Dream.
As her delivery date grew nearer, Brandon's wife appeared to be having some health issues. A lot of her lack of energy could be written off as the fatigue that often accompanied pregnancy. Brandon missed his workout routine some mornings in order to go home to look after her the minute his shift ended. The doctor assured him that many women went through similar difficulties and came out fine.
Brandon confided that it still worried him. I guaranteed him that since I was single, and had few responsibilities, he could count on me if anything went wrong and he needed help; I would be his adopted brother. That brought a smile to his face and he seemed to relax.
It was a week later that he came into the locker room just as I was finishing dressing in my street clothes after my shower. He looked tired but elated. As of 3:35 a.m. he was the proud father of a healthy baby boy and he wanted me to be among the very first to hear the news. He asked if I had the time to go to the hospital to meet his wife and see the baby. Of course, I was pleased to do so since school had recently let out for the summer and I had no obligations at the moment.
Amber Carver was a pretty girl, even in her fatigued condition. I took her offered hand and wished her well, but said that I didn't want to impose on her long because she should rest. She appeared to be thankful to have a visitor and equally happy that I wasn't going to overstay my welcome.
After I admired baby Nathan, who was in a small crib in the room, I bade them farewell. Brandon followed me out of the room and thanked me for coming. Best of all, he embraced me before I left. That was an awesome reward for taking the time to share in his special event.
I still kept my normal gym schedule even when I didn't have to be at school every morning. I've always found it easier to do that than to sleep in during vacation and have to reprogram my body again in the fall. As a result, it wasn't difficult for Brandon to find me early the next day.
This time, he looked like he'd been through the wringer as he came into the locker room just as I had come out of the shower.
"What's wrong, man?"
"She's dead! Amber's dead... Something went wrong with her heart and they couldn't save her," he bit his lip in an attempt to hold his emotions in.
Although it might have appeared strange for a man clad only in briefs to be hugging another male in the locker room, I didn't worry about it as I pulled him into a solid embrace. The result was like opening a floodgate. Brandon sobbed on my shoulder for several minutes.
The only other guy in the place at the moment had overheard what Brandon had said and he came over to put a consoling hand on his back. Thus, when a couple more men entered the room, they could tell my intentions toward the young man were proper even if I was half naked.
While dressing, I convinced Brandon to leave his car in the lot and let me take him to IHOP for something to eat. He simply nodded his agreement. I suspected he didn't trust his voice.
Despite his feelings of shock and grief, Brandon ate a fairly substantial breakfast after some coaxing on my part. I reminded him that he had a tiny precious life to care for and that Amber would want him to keep up his strength for their son.
"You're right," he sighed. "Nathan has to be my main focus now. But, my whole life is falling apart and I don't know how to cope. It's not only losing Amber, but also the mortgage for the house and even a place to live at all for that matter!"
"I don't understand."
"We found this little house that we could afford, but we needed both of our incomes to qualify. Though her salary wasn't huge, it made the difference in whether or not we could get the mortgage and keep up the payments. I really can't float it on my paycheck alone.
In the meantime, we didn't renew our lease on the apartment because we were promised immediate possession when the loan came through. Our place has been rented to another family, and I have to be out by the end of next week. Nathan and I literally have no place to go at the moment.
I know this sounds cold to say, and I hope you won't judge me too harshly. The cost of a funeral will also mess up my finances even more. I mean, I want to do right by her, but I have to take care of Nathan too."
"You're being practical, not cold! There are solutions for all of these problems.
First, if you have to vacate the apartment soon, we should pack up your belongings and move them to my garage before Nathan is released. You and Nathan can move in with me for as long as you can stand it."
"I can't impose on you."
"I won't consider it an imposition. We get along well and I'd enjoy the company."
"But a newborn can be disruptive."
"I love kids. I practically raised my brother for the first couple of years of his life till I went off to college. He was a surprise and my mother went into depression for a while. Fortunately, she got better by the time I turned 18. My father was no help!
Look, I have the room and I'd love to have you. Please let me do this."
"I guess I don't have a lot of options, and I DO appreciate the offer.
While we're under your roof, I want to give you half of the mortgage payment. I'm sure it won't be as much as I'd pay in rent. And I'll kick in on the food too.
There isn't a lot to move. We were renting a furnished place. About the only actual pieces of furniture are his crib and a little antique washstand that belonged to Amber's great grandmother. The rest is mostly clothes and household stuff like sheets and pots and pans. A lot of that is already packed up."
"Good! Let's drive the `vert back to my house and get out my old minivan. Then we'll empty your apartment while Nathan is still in the hospital nursery. We can probably do it all before noon.
After we get your stuff settled, we can talk to the funeral director. We can arrange something that will be respectful, but still not break the bank. I'm sure Amber would want you to save your money for your son rather than put it into the ground."
Strange as it may sound, I think that having to move out of the apartment quickly was therapeutic for Brandon. It was mindless, physical labor that harnessed some of his anxious energy in a way that tired him out and gave him a sense of doing something constructive at the same time.
Before noon, we had almost everything out, and the few clothes of his wife's that remained hanging in the closet could be picked up anytime within the next week when we came back to do a thorough cleaning job so he'd get his full deposit back.
At my house, Brandon took a quick shower and changed into clean clothes. He looked tired, but better than he had when I first saw him at 7:30.
I drove him to the hospital where we spent quality time with Nathan before going down to the cafeteria for a late bite of lunch. Brandon had a glow about him again – mainly from having bonded with his little one as he fed and diapered him.
The toughest part of Brandon's day, aside from receiving the news about his wife's death, was dealing with the people at the funeral home. We were led to a plush office where they ran a video promoting their most expensive service. The point of it seemed to be to shame the vulnerable bereaved customer into buying only the best for their loved one.
At the end, the "grief counselor" (read that salesman) laid a form in front of him and showed him where to sign. Brandon's eyes widened as he saw that the price was nearly as high as the down payment they'd saved for their house. I was very proud of him when he responded.
"Sir, I have a baby to raise all alone. There is no way I can afford this kind of funeral. It would be an insult to Amber's love for our child if I would squander this amount of money to bury her and deprive him of things he'll need. We both always believed that the spirit is greater than the body. What is the least expensive thing I can legally do?"
"Well, uh, there is cremation with no memorial service..."
"Would you please write up a contract for that?"
"I can, but what will people think? Surely you'll want a time for friends and family to celebrate her life."
"We have no family left and our childhood friends are all far away. If I decide to have a memorial service, my friend has assured me that his church would provide one."
The man shook his head in dismay, but pulled out another form from a file drawer. We both looked this one over carefully.
"Since there will be no visitation, a coffin won't be necessary and that rental expense should be removed," I stated.
"Oh, of course, that was an oversight on my part," the man reddened as he scratched through the figure.
We questioned other items, and saved several hundred dollars in the process. When the price was as low as we thought we could get it, Brandon signed the contract. He then made it binding by writing a check to cover the full amount.
As we drove to the gym parking lot to pick up his car, Brandon wept silently.
"Did I push you into something you didn't want?" I asked.
"No, I'm just hurting. If you hadn't been there to support me, I might have been suckered into spending money that I'll need for Nathan and me to live on," he responded, placing his left hand over my right which was resting on the shift lever. "It's awful that they try to con you when you're down, the fuckin' bloodsuckers!"
"Not all funeral homes are like that," I pointed out.
"Yeah, I should have shopped around, but the hospital tends to send people to them and I went with the flow."
"It's okay; you kept your head. You're gonna survive this."
"I hope so."
Back at the house, I found a couple of Zip-Lock bags of homemade soup in the freezer among the items which I kept for emergencies, and heated them in the microwave. Brandon and I ate the soup along with a few saltines.
We had accomplished a lot so far that day and clearly Brandon was exhausted. The distractions had kept him from dwelling on his loss, but now the weight of it came crashing down. Tears flowed freely again.
"Come on, Bud, let me tuck you into bed so you can sleep."
He let me lead him to my bedroom like a little child. I undressed him down to his briefs and literally tucked him into bed. Then, I lay beside him, holding his hand, until he fell to sleep.
Brandon stumbled into the kitchen a couple of hours later, clad only in his briefs, following the aroma of spaghetti and meatballs. It wasn't exactly a summertime meal, but I felt that comfort food was in order.
"Would you like a glass of red wine? I don't want to help you crawl into a bottle if it will be a temptation for you, but if it isn't, you might need it."
"I'm not a problem drinker, and that would be very nice."
I poured him a half-glass of Chianti and the same for me. I noticed that he took a small sip instead of a gulp, and figured that he wasn't likely to abuse alcohol. He couldn't booze and keep his body in the shape it was in.
"Here's to the kindest guy I know," he smiled as he looked into my eyes he raising his glass.
I blushed and turned away. If I had dwelt on those beautiful blue eyes a minute longer, I would have been likely to have done something highly inappropriate, like take him in my arms and kiss him on the lips. He was definitely someone I could fall for, but not in his defenseless state. To do that, would be worse than what the man at the funeral parlor had tried to pull. That only involved money, not one's emotions and heart.
When our meal was over, I cleared the table while Brandon dressed. We went to the hospital, with me doing the driving again.
Watching him fuss over his son warmed my heart and renewed his lease on life. Even the nurses seemed to perk up at the sight. Brandon and his baby were the highlight of the evening.
Back home, I apologized for not having the spare room made up for Brandon to use.
"That's okay; you haven't had a minute free to do it, what with taking care of me," he responded.
"I should have done it while you were napping."
"Instead of preparing a gourmet dinner?"
"That was hardly a five-star menu."
"It was great! You underrate your cooking skills."
"Either way, I'd better look for a set of sheets."
"I don't mind sleeping with you if that's okay. I mean, until we have time to make the room up. I'm feeling kinda needy, and having you near would help me cope."
"That's fine with me." I said.
Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I was awakened by the sense that Brandon was crying. I snuggled up against his back, and he melted into me. Before long, he went back to sleep. I felt great about being able to bring him comfort, but I wondered if I would end up with a broken heart in the process. I had had a crush on Brandon for a long time. Now, I felt a deep sense of caring. I doubted that he would ever be able to return that love.
The tiny third bedroom in my little starter home had served as a storage place until we moved the shelves and their contents into the basement. The walls were a clean but stark white color, so we put up a bright border with pictures of toy trucks and cars at about chair-rail height. Then we set up the crib and changing table. After adding new curtains, it was ready to receive its new resident.
Bringing the tiny boy home was an experience in itself. It took the two of us 15 minutes to get the child carrier properly installed in the back seat of Brandon's mid-sized sedan, and that was with the help of a hospital employee! Once in the carrier, Nathan set up a howl because he didn't like to leave the warmth of his father's arms. He kept fussing all the way home.
"I'm sorry to have inflicted this kid on you," Brandon exclaimed.
"No worries! I remember my brother being the same way. He'll settle down once he gets used to it."
At home, I suggested that Brandon remove his shirt and place his son (in nothing but a diaper) skin to skin against his chest. That proved to be the ticket to changing the baby's outlook. Within a few minutes, he was sleeping peacefully.
When Brandon needed to get up to go to the bathroom, I took off my shirt and repeated the process. The effect was the same, and I felt good about bonding with him.
The memorial service for Amber was short, but meaningful for Brandon. My pastor agreed to do it in the little chapel and said that she wouldn't charge for her services. Brandon, however, insisted that he would pay the customary fee and that it could go into the youth fund if she wouldn't accept it. I was delighted that he told her he wanted the program to remain strong so it would be there for Nathan someday.
There weren't many in attendance. Several people from his work place made the effort, and a few from the town where Amber and he had grown up. Brandon seemed moved that some would travel over a hundred miles to be there. Everyone hugged him and, of course, admired Nathan.
Naturally, I took care of his son part of the time as I was getting into the habit of doing. Brandon didn't miss a beat as he introduced me as his best friend and the guy who had provided a place for him is his darkest hour. I felt gratified, if a bit self-conscious. No one raised an eyebrow over our living arrangement, and for that, I was grateful.
Life went on; days turned into weeks, and we settled down to a routine. Brandon went back to work and I took care of Nathan exclusively during the hours he was gone.
We both continued to work out at the club, but, unfortunately not at the same hour. I'd go in after he came home. This wasn't going to work once school started up in the fall, but for now, it was the best we could do.
After interviewing a few older ladies who were looking for part-time jobs in child care, we settled on Mrs. Anne Witherspoon who seemed ideal. She would come in early enough for me to go to the gym at my usual time and would stay until I got home from school, starting late in August.
Brandon and I could work out together and he would come home immediately as he had done in the past.
The good thing about the arrangement was that it would give Brandon a chance to get some quality sleep before he had to go in late at night, and Nathan would be alone with the babysitter only a short time without one of us in the house as well.
The downside was that Brandon moved into the guest room so that the lady wouldn't think it improper that we shared a bed. It was for appearances sake because we'd never done anything intimate at all, unless you count the times I'd held him when he was feeling blue.
School started off with a bang. It was good to be back with my students and colleagues, but it gave me less time with my two favorite guys.
Yeah, Nathan was beginning to be a little guy with a personality of his own. He was a happy baby and seemed to develop by the day. He could turn over by himself and had discovered gravity by throwing things off of his highchair and watching the adults pick them up.
People on the staff remarked at how happy I seemed to be. I began to wonder if I'd projected sadness in the past, but I was afraid to ask anyone.
One of my perceptive junior girls asked me privately if I had a new girlfriend since last year. "You look like you're in love," she giggled.
I told her that I didn't, but that life was going well.
One day in October, Brandon asked me if I had plans for Thanksgiving.
"You've rarely talked about family, but I take it you have some," he mused. "I don't want my presence to keep you from doing things with them. I haven't asked about them because I guess I don't think in those terms since I have no one."
"You have your adopted brother," I replied, draping an arm around his shoulders.
"And I do appreciate that! You've made me feel like I have family."
"Anyway, to answer your question, they disowned me a few years ago and I haven't had any contact with them since."
"Damn! I didn't mean to open an old wound. Well, you also have an adopted brother!"
I did my best not to look upset. It was an old wound, and he hadn't meant to inflict pain. Most of the time, I managed not to dwell on the dreadful scene that ensued after I came out to them. The worst hurt wasn't being banished from my father's house forever, but that I had to cut all ties to my baby brother. He'd been almost like a son to me.
Longing to see him had probably influenced my decision to ask Brandon to move in with me. Nathan was a kind of replacement for Jimmy.
After I swallowed a couple of times to get the lump out of my throat, we made plans to have our own little Thanksgiving dinner.
Winter vacation (we mustn't call it Christmas break) was longer that year due to the change from the trimester system to the semesters that the district had recently made. Not having a week off in November was a difficult adjustment, but having more time in December made up for it, I guess. Brandon had several days off around Christmas, so that meant our babysitter could go to visit her children for the holidays and we could be all by ourselves during that time.
By now, Nathan had four teeth and was crawling around the floor like a madman! He was truly becoming a little "guy" more than a baby. I knew from experience that he'd be a little "dude" in a couple of years.
As per my suggestion months earlier, we read to him constantly. His attention span seemed to increase by the day. He would occasionally pull a book out of the basket for us to read to him. He already had a couple of favorites. It was fun to hear him try to make noises for the various animals in his board book with the textures that replicated animal fur.
During the Christmas season, Brandon and I sang some carols to him as well. I had been amazed at the quality of Brandon's voice. When we went to the Christmas Eve service, several parishioners had commented on his singing ability, and that made him feel that he'd like to attend church on a regular basis. We hadn't gone much up to that point.
Winter seemed interminably long, but eventually turned into spring. About a month before Nathan's first birthday, Brandon began to be distant and restless. Since the time would mark the anniversary of Amber's death, it wasn't terribly shocking, but I still felt apprehensive. I did get the shock of my life just about finals week.
"Bill, I've been thinking about finding a place for Nathan and me. You've really put yourself out for a year and now I'm on my feet financially for sure. All this time, you've never been out on a date or asked anyone to sleep over. I'll bet you're suffering."
"Um, no, I've been content to have you and Nathan here. I don't need anyone else. And I do get some exercise with my right hand." I blushed.
"You need more than that, and so do I. After I come clean with you, you'll understand why it's for the best. I can't live in the same house with you without making a fool of myself. I've known for a long time that I'm gay. I pushed it aside to marry and have a family. I loved Amber and never cheated on her. I've also loved every minute of living with you, but I can't remain celibate. I'm sorry!"
"Come here please," I bade him with tears in my eyes but a big smile on my face. "Do you think you could ever love me?"
"Yeah, that's the problem. I do love you!"
I let my actions speak for me as I embraced him harder than I ever had in the past. When our lips met, he let out a sigh that was at once filled with relief and desire.
"Is it true?"
"Yes! Couldn't you tell that I was afraid to look you in the eyes at times lest I lose control and jump your bones?"
"I thought maybe I was getting too attached and that it bothered you so you turned away!"
"Damn, we're a couple of idiots! I ached for your body next to mine when you moved out of my bed."
"I had to in order to keep my hands to myself." He cried.
We spent the next several minutes attempting to make up for lost time. Since Nathan was down for his nap, I steered Brandon toward my bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt on the way.
"Please be gentle, I'm an anal virgin," he whispered.
"So am I. There are lots of things two guys can do together that don't involve busting the cherry. I'd love to taste that perfectly cut piece of meat in your pants."
"I want to suck on your foreskin!"
"I believe our desires can be satisfied at the same time!!!"
I quickly went into the little bathroom attached to the master bedroom, pulled back my foreskin, and washed it so that his first taste wouldn't be a turnoff. He joined me, cleaning his dick as well.
We stripped each other. My assessment had been correct. His cock swelled to a length and girth almost identical to mine. We made out a little more, but couldn't wait any longer. Assuming the 69 position, we gently teased one another to mind-shattering climaxes.
"Oh fuck!" he moaned as he filled my mouth with his seed.
I would have responded in kind, but I was too busy gasping as I unloaded in his mouth a few seconds later.
After licking each other clean, we shared sticky kisses for several minutes until Nathan's cooing let us know he was awake. Then we rinsed the residue off our junk, pulled on our underwear and went to take care of him.
Needless to say, Brandon moved back into my bed and never left it again. If Mrs. Witherspoon noticed, she had the good graces not to mention it. She was thrilled to have the summer off, but said she hoped we would continue to employ her again in the fall. We said that we certainly would.
The day before Nathan's birthday, we scattered Amber's ashes on a trail near their hometown at the place where they had first kissed. It was a kind of little ceremony for us and a gesture that brought closure to Brandon's former life and a step toward our new life together.
The following day, I baked a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and one candle. We got Nathan to huff and puff to extinguish it, but it's hard to say which one of us actually blew it out.
He loved his new teddy bear and the little train engine he could ride in when we pushed him around the house. He also celebrated the day by taking his first steps without holding on to anything. He was elated! After that, he was increasingly mobile and we had to buy an extra baby gate to keep him out of mischief.
There was another surprise in store that day, and one that I hadn't anticipated. Brandon got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! Of course I said yes.
"Do you think Pastor Liz would do the ceremony?" he asked.
"Sure, she's very welcoming to everyone. She even participated in at least one gay wedding before the officials in our denomination made it accepted policy."
"Cool! I have the greatest respect for her.
After Pastor Liz agreed to marry us in the gazebo at the park on the Fourth of July early enough not to get caught up in Independence Day festivities, we began planning in earnest. The guest list would be quite small and would include a few people from his job and mine plus others who meant something to us. We were quite pleased that Mrs. Witherspoon accepted without so much as a slight hesitation.
That would be the highlight of my summer, but I had another completely unexpected one. I answered the land line, not really dwelling on the phone number of the caller, but thinking it was familiar.
"Hello, William here. How may I help you?"
"Billy! At last I get to talk to you!"
"Jimmy?"
"Yup it's me! Mom said I could call you. Dad is dead; the police shot him. He held us hostage for three whole hours."
"Are you okay?"
"Yup! He can't hurt us anymore."
"I'm glad you're okay. Did he hurt you a lot?"
"Nope, but he was kinda crazy. I'm glad he's gone."
"May I talk to Mom?"
"Sure."
"Mom?"
"Yes Billy, I'm here. I had Jimmy talk to you first in hopes that you wouldn't hang up. I can fully understand why you might. Honestly, it was your father's decision to banish you."
"You didn't do anything to stop him."
"I was afraid to. I didn't have a job or any hopes of supporting James and me if he cut me off. I'm sorry!"
"Yeah, I guess I see your point. So I suppose you want to make up now."
"I know you might not be able to forgive me, but Jimmy really needs you as a kind of father figure to help erase what's gone on since you left. He begged me to call you. The trauma has been devastating for him. Can you come to see us?"
"I'll have to check with Brandon to see when it will work out. We're getting married early next month and we still have some planning to do."
"Married! Would you let us come to your wedding?"
"Would you want to?"
"Yes, I'd love to be with you on your special day."
"I'll think it over."
"Please let us back into your life. As I said, Jimmy needs you."
"Okay, I'll consider it."
"I love you, Son!"
"If you say so. Bye."
I was shaking as I hung up the receiver. Brandon pulled me into his arms just like I'd done for him a year ago. It was comforting.
"You should go to see them for your brother's sake if nothing else," he advised.
"It's gonna be fuckin' hard!"
"I'll be with you if you want. You helped me through what was the worst experience of my life, since my parents died. It's the least I can do!"
"Oh Brandon, I love you so much!"
Brandon drove us to my mother's house while I sat in back with Nathan, reading to him until he fell asleep. Entertaining him was only moderately successful in distracting my mind from the memories of growing up with my father.
"Care to talk about it?" Brandon asked.
"I'm not sure."
"I know that you helped me by encouraging me to let it all out."
"Yeah, it's easier to give advice than take it," I said ruefully. "I keep thinking of how I could never please him. What I did was never right! I went out for swimming, but that wasn't a `manly' sport. He thought I should wrestle or play football."
"Wrestling IS pretty manly, especially rolling around on a mat with another sweaty boy!" Brandon laughed. "I got hard a lot in the process!"
"You do get hard a lot," I agreed. "Anyway, he never attended any of my meets. He didn't even congratulate me when I got an athletic scholarship that paid for nearly all of my college expenses. Without that, there's no telling what I'd be doing today."
"Maybe you'd have ended up pushing buttons in a blue-collar factory job like me instead of being a teacher."
"Don't put yourself down! There's nothing dishonorable about what you do! You're a good man!"
"Thanks, you always make me feel worthy."
Spilling my guts to Brandon about my relationship with my father did help me purge some demons from my system. When things got particularly heavy, he'd lighten up my mood with a bit of humor.
As I thought on it, I was now a free man! The curses my father had subtly infused into my being were now fading. Without them, there really was no reason not to forgive my mother for not being able to take my part against him. He had done the same to her, carefully but slowly, eroding her self-esteem to the point that he could control her without raising a hand or his voice.
And then there was Jimmy. He had been my boy before I was banished. He would be my boy again. I could repair the damage before it festered like it had in me!
When we finally got to my mother's house, I knew it was a new beginning for all of us.
We changed our plans about a week before our ceremony and moved it from the town gazebo to the small chapel at our church. Rain was in the long-range forecast and we didn't want to take a chance. When the sky opened up right after we'd all assembled, we knew we'd done the right thing!
The ceremony was very much like any other traditional wedding. My mother lit my candle and Anne Witherspoon lit Brandon's. Then they sat down in the places of honor traditionally reserved for the parents of couples who were about to be wed. Nathan had fallen asleep in his carrier on the pew beside Anne, and remained there quietly through the short service.
A friend who worked with Brandon and a teacher friend of mine acted as our attendants. Jimmy was our proud ring bearer.
At half after 9:00, on the upsweep of the clock, we walked down the aisle in the little chapel hand in hand while the church organist played "I Love You Truly" on a little old fashioned pump organ.
Pastor Liz opened with a greeting to the congregation and a prayer.
After she asked us to declare our intentions, she bowed her head and stood silently while our choir director sang Anne Murray's hit song from many years ago, "You Needed Me."
We had once considered singing alternating verses of it to each other, but realized we would be too emotional to get through it.
We then said our vows to one another and exchanged rings. We lit the unity candle. Pastor Liz blessed our union and declared us to be husbands giving us permission to kiss. Everyone applauded and we walked back up the aisle to an instrumental rendition of "Everlasting Love."
Our reception was like a mini brunch in the small parlor near the chapel. The food included tiny quiches, Belgian waffle wedges, fresh pineapple chunks, strawberries, and a variety of fruit juices. The fare wasn't traditional, and everyone commented on how refreshing it was to have something light, tasty, and creative.
The honeymoon was only a few days in length, but it was intense physically and emotionally. The details will remain private because Brandon and I aren't the kind to kiss and tell.
Here is a link to the song that was sung in the wedding. Thanks for reading our story, Brandon and William.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+needed+me+lyrics&FORM=VIRE5#view=detail&mid=15EF1225AD5679A52F7615EF1225AD5679A52F76
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