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Standard Disclaimer:
This is a work of FICTION for ADULTS only. Do NOT read this if you are under 18 or if you are not an adult according to the laws of your state or country. Do NOT read this if you are easily offended or if you are not interested in fantasies involving young men. This file contains sexually explicit material. This implies nothing about the orientation or activities of Jonathan Brandis.
Feel free to distribute this story or archive it at your favorite site without altering its content. Please feel free to email your comments and criticisms to me at chris_phoenix@hotmail.com. All flames will be ignored. Posting stories is a first for me; constructive feedback and such are appreciated. Thanks!
Sorry it took me so long to get this part out, I know it has been forever and a day. This is all still somewhat new to me, plus things at work have been insane and I'm in the process of getting a new job. I promise I'll have the next part out sooner. Thanks to those of you who took the time to write me. I really appreciate it. Again, I apologize for taking forever to write this chapter.
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Please reread Chapter One from it's original posting in April of 99. I've made of few changes so the story line will flow better. Thanks.
Last time...
My excitement was coming to a definite peak when I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
Chapter Two:
'What the hell?' I thought to myself and suddenly my eyes popped open. There was another knock at the door. Wait, I was alone and laying in the bottom of the shower.
'Awwhh fuck, it was all a dream, just a stupid, never-gonna-happen-in-a-million-years dream.' That though permeated my mind. It all seemed so real that I had trouble believing it didn't happen. What am I talking about? As if something could happen between Jonathan Brandis and myself! Again, the knock came at the door. I pulled myself off the floor of the shower and shut the water off. Grabbing the towel, I started drying my body as I stared at the reflection in the steamed up mirror. As I peered deeper into my own eyes I saw millions of reasons why I would, why I should never find love. I quickly retreated from the deep recesses of my soul. With the towel now wrapped around my waist I opened the door and was about to step out of the bathroom.
"Ouch," I said as Jon knocked on my head instead of the door. His face snapped around to face mine as he realized what had happened. He gave a nervous smile and I just busted up laughing. It was something out of the Three Stooges and I couldn't help but laugh. Laugh I did, so hard that I had to hold on to the doorframe for support. Jon started with a few chuckles, then had just as much difficulty containing his laughter. Eventually, we got ourselves under control. I just stood there smiling, looking at his beautiful face. It took me a moment to realize he was looking at me too, and now he was blushing slightly. After following his gaze downward, I found out why. Some how, during my fit of hysterical laughter, I had lost my towel. I was standing there in front of Jonathan Brandis, completely naked!
Now, it was my turn to blush. However, I thought I felt his gaze a little longer on me than normal. It must just be my over active imagination. I may be in excellent shape, but I was no stud like Jon. With the damage done and the humiliation gone, I stepped past him to my bedroom. I turned around to speak to him when I saw that he was still looking at me. Just not used to seeing guys run around naked. That whole train of thought was dismissed.
"Umm... sorry about that," I said.
"No, I'm sorry. You were just in there for a long time and I thought something might have happened..." Jon trailed off while shifting nervously from one foot to the other.
"Stupid me, I feel asleep in the shower. I haven't done that in a while. I didn't expect you to still be around," I continued, "just give me a minute to get dressed." As soon as I reached the safety of the bedroom, I closed the door. It was kind of funny now that I think about it. Why had my modesty suddenly returned? Well, Jon probably thinks I'm just another queer. That's why he was so uncomfortable around me when I was naked. He thought I was trying to put on move on him or something. Boy, did I screw that up.
Since I practically just blew any chance of a real friendship with Jon, I decided that I should do something useful until I was to meet Justin for dinner. Rummaging through my bag, I pulled a torn tee shirt and a pair of swimming trunks. It was about time that I found the hotel gym and pool. After slipping on the clothes, I headed out into the main room.
"Listen, I'm sorry about that earlier scene. I should've considered that you were probably uncomfortable with me walking around naked. Now, that I think about it more, I can just imagine how awkward a beautiful straight guy would feel if some fag was prancing around bare ass," I said.
"Again, it's me who should be apologizing. I didn't mean to knock on your head," he said as we both smirked, "and I certainly don't want you to think I'm uncomfortable around you, whether you're gay or not."
"Umm... thanks, it's okay. I'm used it anyway. Uh, I'm going to head down to the pool to do a few laps and maybe hit the gym before I meet up with Justin. I'll walk you out, if you want," I offered.
"Yeah, I would like that," he replied with that heart stopping smiling of his. With that, I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and my keycard as we left my room. The walk to the service elevator was a very quiet one. I guess for some reason we were both lost in thought. My thoughts were a jumbled mess of Jon, Justin and every bad decision I've ever made. All the feelings and emotions that went along with those mistakes came rush back too. My head started to spin; the sound of the elevator's arrival gave me a focal point I so desperately needed. Immediately my attention was snapped back to Jon.
"Well, I guess this is where we part ways," I said trying not to fall into those gorgeous eyes of his.
"What? You're not riding down with me?" he asked with an uncertainty in his voice. It was almost as if he was being rejected.
"I shouldn't. I can take the main elevator down. Besides, you don't need any more complications or delays. Goodbye Mr. Brandis," I concluded. With that, I simply turned and walked away down the hall as the elevator doors closed behind me. It was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. There was just something about Jonathan that drew me to him. I had no idea what it was, but I knew that if I didn't get away from him, I would easily fall for him. That wasn't an option.
The diversion of the gym and pool came back to my mind. I needed to work off all this emotional energy and maybe think, or not think, about things some more. I was down in the lobby by the front desk before I even realized it.
"Good evening, sir. I take it you are looking for the pool?" the young attendant asked.
"Yes, and the gym too," I replied.
She kindly pointed out the direction I was to take. My pace picked up a little as I was anxious to do something that didn't require much thought. And although I know I should be paying attention when working out, I usually don't. The time I spent on a bench press, lat machine or on pull-ups was mindless.
When I walked into the gym, there were just a few people at the other end working on the leg machines. I set my towel next to the bench and set the weights. Lying down on the bench I just looked up and stared at the bar for a few seconds before gripping it in my hands. I lifted the bar and breathed in as I brought the bar down to my chest. I would do about ten repetitions and pause before starting over again.
Before I knew it my shirt was quite damp as my body increasingly sweated. I must have lost track of the time, but decided that I should jump in the pool for a while. Retrieving my towel, I walked out of the gym towards the showers. I stripped of my shirt and rinsed some of the sweat off. I walked into the pool area and was surprised to see it empty. Maybe it just wasn't a popular time of day to swim. Whatever. I tossed my towel and shirt on a nearby lounge chair then dove in.
The cool water was refreshing. I started a slow stroke for a few laps before increasing my pace. I could feel the muscles in my back, arms and chest working overtime. With just that thought I began to picture my body in my mind. Memories of my reflection came back to me. The smooth and toned chest I had worked so hard to get and maintain dominated my thoughts. The whole reason I continued to swim and exercise was because I still wasn't happy with myself. I thought that if I were to stay physically more appealing that I would have a better chance at finding someone; hence, I would become happy. And to a certain degree I was slightly happier, but was still missing companionship and, more importantly, love.
I must have been swimming laps for quite some time. My body felt like I just swam the English Channel. It was at this point that I noticed someone swimming right next to me. Just as I was about to try to get a better looking at the person, Justin stopped and turned his head towards me to say hello.
"Hey, I didn't even realize you were in the pool till now," I said a little astonished.
"Yeah, I gathered. I came in and saw you swimming laps. After watching your fiftieth lap and realizing you weren't paying attention, I decided to jump in. I hope you don't mind me joining you?" he asked as if he may be invading my territory.
"No, not at all. I was just trying to burn off some restlessness that's been building up. I was actually finishing up down here. I was going to shower and get ready to meet you for dinner," I said as I swam to the edge of the pool and hoisted myself from the water. The highly chlorinated water streamed from my still wet hair down my chest and back. I picked up my towel and started drying myself off. As I was drying my arms, I turned around to talk to Justin and found him staring at me.
At first, I don't think he realized that I was looking at him, but when he did his face turned a deep crimson. I couldn't help but smile. Did he find me attractive or was he just caught up in his newfound feelings? Who knows? I decided to bait him a little and see what happens. I know it wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I couldn't help myself.
"Actually, there are showers down here, right?" I asked innocently enough.
"Umm... yeah. They're back there," he replied pointing just over his shoulder. I gathered my towel and shirt and walked over to the showers. The small part of my ego that I let myself entertain was counting. It had only reached five before Justin spoke.
"Maybe that's not such a bad idea. I think I'll take one while I'm here too," he said as nonchalant as he could. This kid wasn't very subtle, but I give him credit for trying. I mean, even if you know another guy is gay taking the initiative is still difficult. He definitely had some guts, although I gave him a pretty open invitation!
I tossed my stuff near a locker in the shower room and figured it was now or never so I just took off my shorts very casually. As the entrance to the showers was on the other side of the locker room, I had no choice but to walk past Justin - completely naked. He was bent down pulling his shorts off and looked up just as I had passed him. I could swear I heard him gulp, but it could have been my imagination. Not that my body was a piece of art, but I guess it was good enough to peak his interests.
The hot water was running over my head and down my body washing the chlorine off. My eyes were closed as I started shampooing my hair and my thoughts were drifting between Jon and Justin. For no particular reason I started to sing. Maybe it was to clear my head or focus my thoughts even more, I wasn't sure.
"Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation, Darkness stirs and wakes imagination. Silently the senses abandon their defenses, Hard as lightning, soft as candle light. Dare you trust the music of the night."
I turned away from the showerhead so I could rinse the shampoo out. My eyes opened and I found Justin staring at me. I watched him until his eyes met mine. He quickly turned away with a sheepish grin. This was my opportunity to get a good luck at him, and what a sight it was. Justin was about 5' 11" and I'd guess around 160 pounds. It was obvious that he worked out, as his well-defined chest, arms and abs attested to. He had a slight dusting of very light brown hair on his arms and legs, but his torso was incredibly smooth. Only a small, thin treasure trial ran from his navel down.
And what a treasure it was! He had some very nice equipment on him, which was about three and half inches soft and had a nice thickness to it. It was perfectly nestled in a neat bush of reddish brown hair. Justin spun to face the shower and I nearly lost it when I saw his backside. They were so taunt and firm. With his personality and his physique, he was going to make someone very happy.
I became lost in thought about something meaningless, just to calm myself down a little. I was about to finish up when Justin broke the silence.
"Umm... I didn't know you could sing. What was that?" he asked.
"It was 'Music of the Night' from The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber," I replied. I rinsed off one last time then walked out of the shower to towel off. I had just gotten my shorts on when Justin came out, naked of course. We looked at each other and he smiled at me. With that cute smile and beautiful eyes I couldn't resist, so I returned the smile.
I looked around to pick up everything I came with, which was pretty much just my towel and shirt. His smile faded a little and was replaced with a look of confusion, maybe fear, as his focus fell to my left shoulder. Then it hit me, he must have finally noticed my tattoo. Did that mean that Jon saw it too earlier? But neither of them could have known what it meant. They wouldn't be able to recognize the Trident - an eagle, wings spread out, clutching a trident, rifle and anchor. I would've had the damn thing removed if it didn't cost so much. Well, Jon must not have seen it, I'm sure he would have said something or at least asked about it. Justin was my only worry for the moment, but why would he get so thrown by a tattoo.
Apparently, Justin noticed the change in my stance and realized that I saw him staring at my tattoo. He immediately looked away and I took this opportunity to deflect his concern, but first I needed to know what about the tattoo that bothered him.
"Something wrong Justin?" I asked in a soft tone.
"No, I was just caught off guard. I didn't notice that tattoo before. I'm sorry," his response trailed off.
"Don't be, you just seem a little more put off than most by the tattoo. Listen, I'm gonna head up to my room to change. Can you meet me up there in about twenty minutes? If you're still interested in having dinner with me that is," I replied with just a bit of hurt in my voice.
"Umm... yeah, I'll be up in twenty." And with that, I left him in the locker room. The elevator ride up was pretty uneventful, but it gave me some more time to think. To think about Jon, to think about Justin, but more importantly his reaction to the tattoo. Maybe I was just over reacting, but something in the back of my mind said something was up. No one needed to be dragged into my past, especially Justin or Jon. I have no idea how'd they react, but I didn't think it would go over well. Finally, the doors opened with a chime. I stepped out and strolled over to my door. Slipping the keycard to unlock it, I gave a slight push and walked into my room.
I walked past the desk and noticed that my message light was blinking several times. As I turned on my computer I picked up the phone to retrieve my messages. My computer booted up and logged on. My new mail notification came up just as I was getting to the first voice mail message. Funny enough, they were both from one of the companies I had interviewed with earlier in the week. Seven of the forty emails were job offers, the other thirty-three were from old friends and acquaintances wondering where I had disappeared to. I had all my old email addresses forwarded to this new one, which was bounced through several anonymous and government servers. I wasn't going to be easily traced.
The last voice message surprised me the most. It was from Jon. He must have called the hotel and had Marcie put him through. He wanted to talk to me and asked that I give him a call back soon. The message ended after he left his number. I got an outside line and dialed Jon's number.
"Yeah?"
"Is Jon available?" I asked.
"Alex, is that you?" he returned.
"Yep, how's it going? I was just returning your call."
"Yeah, uh, I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to a bar or club tonight?" Jon asked with a little hesitation.
"I'd love to, but I made plans to have dinner with Justin tonight. Plus I need to get up early tomorrow and land myself a job," I explained.
"Oh...," he replied dejectedly. First off, I was completely surprised he called, let alone want to go out to a bar or club with me. I didn't think he'd want anything to do with me, especially after he found out I was gay. Secondly, he sounded really disappointed that I couldn't go. In the confusion of my mind one thing was clear. My entire thought process was completed in less than a second.
"But hey, what are you doing tomorrow, like after one?" I asked trying to change the sudden sullen mood.
"Well, I have a read through till three, but I'm free after that," Jon replied more cheerfully. That was the change I was hoping for. I didn't understand it, but I knew I was happier. 'Maybe there was a real person behind that movie star façade of his.' I mused to myself. He came off very nice when I met him last night and this morning. I decided I really would like to get to know him better. I needed to make new good friends here. I also figured, at this point, I had nothing to lose.
"Awesome, maybe we can grab an early dinner around four. Then afterwards, I'm not too sure. I still haven't had time to see much of the city so I don't really know what's out there," I suggested.
"Great! How about after dinner I show you around LA. That sound like a good plan?" he asked excitedly.
"No, that sounds like a great plan! Now just one question, er two actually. Where do you want to meet and where should we go to eat?"
"Do you trust me?" he inquired in a mischievous voice.
"Uh... sure."
"Cool, I pick you up at the hotel at four. Okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be ready. See ya tomorrow," I said. With that we each said our good-byes and hung up the phone. I was still thinking about Jon and why he wanted to do something with me when a knock came at the door. It must have been Justin and I still hadn't changed clothes yet. Quickly, I ran to answer the door and greeted him.
"Hey, you haven't even changed yet?"
"No, sorry, I was returning a phone call and lost track of time," I apologized. Justin was wearing a pair of tan khakis and a button down green silk shirt. His shirt immediately brought out his eyes and contrasted beautifully with his red hair. The red curls were held in place by hair gel. He must have noticed me looking him over.
"It's okay. I'm not too dressed up am I?" he asked while blushing.
"No, as a matter of fact, you look fantastic," I said a little too enthusiastically causing him to blush even more.
"Umm...thanks, it was... I just...uh," he stuttered as he looked down at the floor.
"It's alright, I didn't mean to embarrass you, you're just a very handsome guy. Come on in and have a seat. You can flip on the TV while I get changed. Oh, by the way, where do you want to eat? Remember that you're more native than I am. You know any place nice?" I asked walking into my bedroom.
"Oh yeah, there's this great Italian restaurant about two blocks from here. It's a little on the expensive side, but the food is amazing," he suggested.
"Cool, I just happen to be in an Italian mood," I said as walked out with a more appropriate attire. I had on a pair of black Dockers, a tight white short sleeved shirt with a black sleeveless vest over it. I also splashed a little 'Eternity' on.
"Wow, you look great!" Justin blurted out before turning bright red as he realized what he said. I wasn't really thinking of this as a date, or was I? I just wanted to talk to Justin about things, but hell, I just put on cologne. Careful and cautious was the way to go from here.
"Thank you," I replied with a wide grin. Whatever uneasiness was between us seemed to have disappeared, or at least dissipate for the moment. With the feeling of comfort between us restored I suggested we get a move on. We waved to Marcie as we left the hotel and stepped out into the street.
Twilight was about two or so hours away, but a cool breeze kept the temperature a relaxing sixty-eight degrees. The walk over to the restaurant was uneventful. Justin and I made some small talk, mostly him telling me about the city. It was an easygoing conversation and before we knew it we came upon the restaurant. We were greeted by the maitre d, who announced they just had a cancellation and could seat us at the previously reserved table. Justin and I had no problems with that so we were swiftly lead up a nicely crafted staircase and seated in a nice quiet corner looking over the back courtyard.
"Woah, I didn't think we'd get this nice a table!" Justin blurted out excitedly. I gazed out into the courtyard, simply absorbing the sights, sounds and smells surrounding me. In the distance I could hear the far off roar of the ocean.
"Hey Just, are we close to the shore?" I asked.
"Yeah, the beach is just a couple of blocks away from here." I nodded my acknowledgement as we proceeded to look over our menus. After my tiring workout, and the excitement that followed, I was ravenous. I was hungry enough to eat an entire cow, but I decided to settle for a nice steak with some green beans and a baked potato. Justin was still sternly pondering the menu when our waiter approached the table. Out of habit, I checked out the guy. He was about 5' 11" with a nice build shown off by snug black slacks and a white short-sleeve shirt. His arms weren't massive, but you could tell he was defined. The thick brown hair that adorned his head was slicked backed. Light browns eyes complemented his warm, friendly smile exquisitely. Over all, he was very attractive, he simply exuded this sensual aura. I'm sure he had no problems finding dates, especially as a waiter!
"Good evening gentlemen. My name's Steve and I'll be serving you tonight. Can I get you two something to drink while you finish looking over the menus?" he asked with a humbling cheerful attitude. Even his voice had a sexy soothing quality to it. The voice was enough to grab Justin's attention away from his menu and his dilemma.
"Yeah, could I get a uh..." Justin stopped in mid-sentence as he looked up at our waiter for the first time. His elongated silence finally caught my attention and I looked over to find Justin staring at Steve with his mouth still slightly open. The moment was very comical indeed, but I thought it would be best if I salvaged the situation.
"Hello Steve, I'll take a Sam Adams and my friend, Justin here, will have a Coke," I said as I watched Justin start to come out of his temporary stupor.
"Sure, I hate to ask this, but," I cut him off with a wave of my hand as I reached into my back pocket for my wallet.
"I know you have to, so don't worry about offending me," and I handed him my ID. I was so used to getting carded that it almost became second nature to just hand my ID as I ordered.
"Thanks Mr. Chase... and happy birthday! Wow, I would've figured you just turned twenty, twenty-one maybe, but not twenty-three! I hope you have a wonderful time tonight. I'll be right back with your drinks and to take your orders," Steve chirped and was about to bound off.
"Thank you very much, and please call me Alex. I'm not ready for the whole 'mister' thing yet."
"Sure thing Mist... uh... Alex!" and he was gone.
"It's your birthday?" Justin asked. His question seemed to bring us both back to the reality we had momentarily left. Apparently, Justin had collected his thoughts enough to speak again.
"Glad to have you back on Earth. I know he's amazingly good looking, but drooling so obviously over someone is not always the best approach, especially when meeting someone for the first time. Yeah, it's my twenty third birthday today. Now, before we get into the thousand and one questions that I know are coming, let me ask you this. Do you know what you're getting for dinner?" I asked with a smile. Justin opened his mouth as if he was about to say something then quickly shut it as he glanced back down at the menu. When his tender eyes came back to mine he spoke.
"I want the chicken and pasta Alfredo with broccoli," he announced with pride and continued, "but what I want to know is why didn't you say anything earlier?"
"Look, I've never been one to celebrate my birthday. To me, it's just one more day of my life. There's just nothing special about it, so why should I go around telling everyone? It just reminds me of every passed year, where my life is now and where it's going, or not going. My birthday is not important to me, so it shouldn't be important to you - especially tonight. I just want us to have a nice relaxing time so we can talk and so I can help you any way that I can," and with that I end my little diatribe. I tried to keep my tone even, but I think some of my venom seeped into it. Justin's head fell as he looked down at the table.
"Um... okay. I can't say that I understand why, but I won't make a big deal out of it. Happy birthday anyway," he said. The awkward moment was broken by Steve's reappearance with our drinks. He must have been able to sense the tension because his eyes quickly darted between Justin and I as he placed the drinks in front of us. Being very good at his job, he eased the tension with the distraction of taking our orders.
"Well, have you guys decided what you want?" he asked with a charming smile. Justin glanced over to me and I simply nodded, giving him the silent signal that he should order first. The tension between us seemed to fade a little after we finished ordering and Steve left. I thought about how I reacted. Justin was behaving like any normal friend would, he was being nice. I wasn't about to open up to him with me entire life story. He already had enough to deal with. However, I needed to smooth things over to make him feel comfortable and trust me enough to help him. It wasn't going to be easy.
"Listen, I'm sorry Justin. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I really do appreciate your caring, I just have to get used to being a little more carefree about stupid stuff like that. You didn't know how I felt about my birthday, and you couldn't have. I don't want my problems to interfere with our friendship. In time, after you've sorted out your feelings, I might open up a little more. Now's just not the right time, it wouldn't help either of us. I hope you can understand that."
Justin looked at me intently as I spoke. When I finished it seemed like his expression was unchanged for a long time. Suddenly, a smile grew on his face. I was a little confused, but I smiled back. Maybe he did understand, or at least was willing to leave it alone for now. I was much more relieved when he spoke.
"Alex, I'm not exactly sure what to say, but let me try. You're right, there's a lot I don't know about you. I'm still not sure why you want to help me, it's almost as if you have a need to help me. Whatever the reason, it makes me feel really good. For the first time I've been honest about who I am. With you around it makes everything seem okay, and safe. I trust you and I know somehow that you have my best interests at heart. In all honesty, I'm not sure what's going on in my head or what's going on in my world anymore. I gladly accept any help you can give me. Maybe you'll learn to trust me and I can repay you."
Never in my entire life have I ever come across someone who could display such childlike innocence and intuitive wisdom at the same time. Justin was very special indeed. He deserved so much out of life, most of all love. Once he fully understood what he was feeling and what lay ahead, he'd be all right. Of that I was certain. I looked into his eyes and saw a world of possibilities for this kid. Taking a few more moments I pondered what I should say next. Luckily, Justin's attention was caught by the background music. The silence was surprisingly not awkward. It was almost reassuring in a way.
My mind drifted to the music playing. I've heard the song plenty of times on the radio recently so I was able to identify it quite quickly. It was 'I Drive Myself Crazy' by NSync, one of the popular boy bands that seem to be flooding the music industry. I mean I liked the music and all, I have very eclectic tastes when it comes to music. My collection contains a lot of everything. As I listened to the song's lyrics my train of thought went down a different track. Thoughts of Jon popped up. I found myself listing everything I liked about Jon. I couldn't help but smile while I thought about Jon. Then I remembered that we were supposed to get dinner tomorrow.
Doubt began to invade my mind. I just didn't understand why Jon wanted to speak to me again, let alone see me again. He really was a nice guy, maybe he was just trying to be friendly. Or maybe he was concerned about if I would say anything about him passing out at the bar. I still a little unnerved how easily Jon unsettled me. When I was around him I felt something drawing me to him. He had this affect on me that I could not describe. My trance was broken when a plate of food was placed in front of me.
"Here you go guys, enjoy your meal. I'll be right back with another round of drinks and to see if you need anything else," Steve finished as he headed back towards the bar. After Steve brought our drinks and checked up on us, a plan began to form in my head. I was pretty sure Steve was at least bi, I noticed him checking Justin and I out a few times. Justin was obviously attracted, if not, interested. The gears were grinding throughout dinner as simple conversation was maintained. Near the end of the meal, I excused myself to the restroom and set my plan in action.
A short while later I returned and Steve brought us the check. He and I exchanged a knowing look as I handed him the money. Justin was about to reach for his wallet but I stopped him, saying that this was on me. Steve and Justin both thanked me as I said it was not a problem. I was more than happy to treat Justin and leave Steve a very nice tip. We got up to leave and I thanked Steve for being a wonderful waiter. I shook his hand and winked. He smiled and moved on the shook Justin's hand. Justin gladly accepted the opportunity to touch Steve.
Justin noticed Steve slipped him a piece of paper. When he looked back Steve just winked. I smiled and escorted Justin out onto the street. I heard the call of the ocean and walked towards it with Justin in tow. After about three blocks Justin finally opened the piece of paper and looked at it.
"He gave me his phone number! Steve, the incredibly hot waiter, gave me his phone number!" Justin screamed cheerfully. I smiled and laughed at his youthful exuberance. He was practically skipping as he went on and on about Steve and his number. When we finally reached the beach it was deserted and the sun was beginning its slow decent below the horizon. We found a nice spot on the sand to sit and talk. Justin's excitement was giving way to doubt and uncertainty.
"I'm suddenly tense. What am I going to do?" he asked dropping himself to sit beside me. I shifted my position a little so I was behind him and I started to give him a backrub.
"About what?" I pushed. I knew what he was talking about, but I figured it would be best for him to work out himself. He slowly began to relax as I worked his muscles over.
"About Steve the waiter. About everything that's running through my head. I've never done anything with anyone. I have no idea what to do, what it should feel like. It's so easy and comfortable to talk to you about it all," he spoke as he turned to look at me. I found myself staring into his eyes and realized he was staring back into my mine. I let my hands slide down his well toned sides. He was right, it did feel really comfortable just sitting there with him in my arms. Maybe it was just the comfort, or the loneliness and lack of love in my life, but I wanted to be closer to Justin.
There was a look of hopefulness and uncertainty in his eyes, yet his face leaned closer to mine. I closed my eyes as I felt the heat from his face and sweetness of his breath increase. Soon I felt his soft, supple lips upon mine. I parted my lips enough to take his lower lip in between the two of mine. Deftly sucking on his lip, he opened up a little more and let his tongue venture forward. I was a little surprised, but happy. I could taste his essence and feel his life beating stronger through the kiss. Justin turned the rest of his body around without braking the kiss to wrap his arms and legs around me. The embrace was as sensual and slow as the kiss. It was kind of awkward, but in a good way. There was no rush of lust fueled by raging hormones. But, at the same time, it wasn't an announcement of eternal love. It was just so caring and contenting that it seemed right.
"Wow! Is that what it's like to be with another guy?" he asked trying to regain his breath.
"Justin, I won't lie to you. The was an incredible feeling and I care about you so much more, but..."
"...there's always a 'but'," he added.
"...but I don't love you like that, how you need and deserve to be loved. I didn't intend to kiss you or to let it last that long. But if you honestly felt something in that, then it was worth experiencing it. I want you to know that I will always be here for you and you never have to be afraid to tell me anything. I'll do anything I can to help you overcome whatever obstacles cross your path. It's just that I can't give you everything you need in a loving relationship."
"I think I understand Alex, but I still don't regret kissing you. It felt amazing and I know it'll feel a hundred times more powerful when I'm with the person I truly love. I am glad that you were the first guy I kissed though. You made it seem so special and tender, like there was nothing wrong about what we were doing. You were wrong about one thing, it was filled with love, maybe not for me, but I could feel it nonetheless."
"You astound me more and more with each passing minute. How old are you again?" I asked jokingly. Justin blushed slightly and laughed.
"Will you sing to me?" Justin asked.
"What?"
"I heard you in the shower and your voice sounds so relaxing and soothing. It's beautiful. Will you sing to me?" he asked again. The longing look in his delicate eyes gave me very little chance of saying no.
"Uh... sure, what do you want me to sing?"
"I'm no sure, how about something slow, but happy? Like a ballad or something," he suggested. I looked out over the horizon as the sun continued its descent for the evening and thought. The retreating sun sent a trail of deep orange down the center of the water, like a blazing fire. I basked for a moment in the amazing sight of Justin as he glowed in the radiance of the dying light. And I began to sing.
"In the still of the night I held you, held you tight Oh I love, love you so Promise I'll never, Let you go In the still of the night
I remember, that night in may Where the stars were right up above I hope and I pray To keep your precious love
So before the light Hold me again With all of your might In the still of the night
So before the light Hold me again With all of your might In the still of the night
In the still of the night..."
As I faded off the last note, I realized that Justin had fallen asleep in my arms. I simply watched and recalled how peaceful he looks when he's sleeping. I brushed his hair away from his face and kissed him gently on the forehead. My thoughts drifted elsewhere until I heard people approaching. I didn't think much of it. I mean it was a public beach.
"Well, well, what do we have here? A couple of fags?" sneered a menacing voice. My attention was immediately shifted into high gear. The tensing of my body must have woken Justin up. We separated from each other and I automatically put Justin behind me. There were three of them and I began to size them up.
"Let's teach these queers a lesson guys," the center one said.
"I don't suppose there's a chance of you guys growing a brain and walking away is there?" I said sarcastically already knowing the answer. A primitive grunt was my only response.
"Justin, I think it's time you left," I stated.
"What about you?" he asked. The fear was quite evident in his voice.
"I'll be fine, trust me, just get out of here. NOW!" I shouted.
"You ain't goin' anywhere faggot," the one on the right, who I nicknamed Slugboy, said as he started to move towards Justin. In a split second I closed the distance between Slugboy and I, driving my foot in to his chest. He dropped to the ground instantly as at least one of his lungs were collapsing. Justin had kept running and would be safe shortly. Myself, on the other hand, had other problems to deal with. Two of them to be precise.
TBC
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