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The Author reserves all rights, Copyright 2000. "Boys Dare Not Dance!" is written by Terrence 'TJ' Julian with help from Andrew van Ryan (mainly for correcting the order of these events).
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Boys Dare Not Dance!
Part Four
by Terrence 'TJ' Julian
Copyright 2000. All Rights Reserved
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"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stanley!"
.......Oliver Hardy, speaking to Stan Laurel ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'Married?!" April said with surprise.
"Yes, Married!" Andrew said sticking his nose slightly into the air.
"To who?" April asked sounding suspicious.
"TJ, of course!" Andy replied as if this was an obvious assumption.
"Oh, I thought you were really married." She said relaxing the tone in her voice.
"We really are married!" Andy protested. "TJ, are we married?" He said swinging around to look at me.
"Uh, huh" I offered. "Since last August."
"So there's no chance of you guys turning straight?" Lisa asked with a somewhat wistful sigh at the end.
"Huh?" I responded as her question bounced off my head.
"Two guys can't get married!" April asserted. "No church would allow it!"
"Who said we got married in a church?" Andrew huffed. "For your information, we were married aboard a ship at sea, by the Captain!"
I noticed Lisa was staring at me with 'Is this True?' written across her pouting lips. I felt compelled to answer, though she had yet to ask. .
"It's true." I said. "Andy is the love of my life. He always has been and always will be. We really were married aboard ship."
Lisa said nothing, but sighed deeply. She walked to the sofa, throwing her body down onto it. Turning her head, she supported it on one arm draped over the sofas' tall back. Her eyes fixed somewhere out the window as Andrew and April continued on.
"I didn't know it was legal for two guys to be married." April said to him. Andy just nodded his head, ignoring the fact that our marriage was not recognized as being 'legal' anywhere in the world at that time. Since we didn't give a rat's ass about the legality of it, it never mattered to us anyway. WE knew we were married and that's all that mattered.
I watched Lisa and wondered why she was so sad. Even if we hadn't been married, Andy and I were still a gay couple. Did she really think she could turn me straight? I figured she was attracted to me since we both played violin, were the same age and the same height. I figured Lisa wanted a boyfriend who shared things in common with her. Poor girl! I felt sorry, so I went over and sat next to her on the sofa.
"Hey, Lisa. Are you OK?" I asked. "Did I make you unhappy?"
"No, it's not you, TJ." She sighed. "I just have this idea in my head of 'the perfect guy'. You know, a person you create with your imagination who's your ideal mate."
I glanced at Andrew who was now lecturing April on married life. I muttered to Lisa.
"Uh, huh."
"It seems every time I meet a guy who's cute, funny and has the same interests as I do, he turns out to be gay."
"I see." I replied. Thinking I should somehow try and make her feel better, I tried to downplay the situation.
"Well, don't feel bad." I said. "You wouldn't want to date me anyway."
"Oh, I don't want to date you, TJ." She stated. "It's Andy I'm talking about."
"WHAT?!" I cried. "ANDY?!"
Andrew stopped talking to April and turned to look at me.
"Yes, dear?" He asked.
"I wasn't talking to you!" I blurted.
Now I felt completely foolish! Here I was trying to console her and she's got her eyes on MY BOYFRIEND! I didn't know what to say!
At that moment I realized the thought process of the female mind would forever remain an unsolvable puzzle for me. I knew nothing about the minds of women and I never would. They remain as baffling today as they did then.
Rather than continue talking with Lisa, I turned my attention to Andy and April. For the next hour and a half he went on and on, telling her what a joy married life was and how happy we were together. I figured his monologue would at the very least convince Lisa he was passionately in love with me.
Eventually, Andrew turned his attention to Bob the Hippy. The next two hours consisted mostly of us listening as Bob gave detailed accounts of the hallucinations he'd experienced on LSD.
"....when the ceiling blew away, I could see clouds racing across the sky." Bob said, painting the picture with words.. "Good thing Mom served the turkey right then."
"That must have been one hell of a Thanksgiving!" Andy remarked.
"It wasn't too bad, really, until after dinner." Bob recalled thoughtfully. "That's when I saw the turkey carcass chewing on the pumpkin pie. I freaked out and had to split."
Andrew glanced at me with a terrified look. My eyes were wide with fright as I imagined a half eaten turkey rabidly consuming a whole pie. From listening to Bob's story, one would get the impression this sort of thing happened to him a lot. Like, maybe six times a week?
Bob smiled at us and asked "You guys sure you don't wanna' try acid?"
Andy and I both recoiled in horror, shouting "NO!"
"OK,." He replied. "Just thought I'd make sure."
It was soon to be dark outside. April suggested we order up a Pizza from the place on the corner. After we ate, Bob excused himself, saying he had to meet his 'connect'. April and Shelly were in the kitchen with Andrew and I was in the living room with Lisa. Feeling uncomfortable, I might add.
"TJ?" Lisa said softly. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." I answered.
"What's it like, being gay?" she questioned.
I thought about it for a moment. I rolled it around in my head several times before I answered.
"Well, What's it like not to be gay?" I replied. "I've never been a heterosexual, so I have no experience with which to make a comparison between the two. I can tell you that I'm in love with another human being and the love we share is real, it's satisfying and we're committed to each other."
"Well, what's it like making love to someone whose body parts are the same as your own?" she quizzed.
"I don't think it's really much different, in the most basic terms." I answered. "We're all made of flesh and blood, Lisa. It just happens that Andy and I are attracted to each other. He and I both had boyfriends previous to our relationship. He and I also dated girls in high school, but we never felt any desire toward them. On the other hand, I fell in love with Andrew at first sight. He's told me he felt something very much like that as well, only he was in a relationship and had to fight the feeling."
"Doesn't sound much different than a typical boy/girl relationship, really." She remarked.
"I wouldn't imagine there is more than a slight difference, if any." I replied. "With one exception. Dealing with the attitudes some people have towards homosexuals makes for constant fear. That's hard to deal with at times. Andy and I moved to England to get away from peoples attitudes towards our relationship. And just days before we got married, a man pushed us overboard from a moving ship. I broke my arm in the fall and Andy can't swim, so we would have drowned if there hadn't been a sailboat nearby to rescue us. The man who pushed us did it because he hates queers. He wanted to kill us because we love each other." I said. "Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?"
"Oh, TJ!" Lisa gasp. "I had no idea! That's horrible!"
"Yes, but unfortunately, it's a fact of life. At least for us it is."
After having this conversation with Lisa, I noted a change in her attitude. For the rest of the three days we spent in San Francisco, Lisa never again mentioned the idea of 'turning us straight'.