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Boy on a Mission Chapter 8
`What now, Mr. Hart?'
My tone was stern, irritated. How could it not be? I was pissed out of my mind. Never would I have thought that Mr. Hart would make me angry but here we are. Funny, isn't it?
I was upset, and I guess he was, too, but our expressions were different. They did not mirror each other as I was angered by his hypocrisy while he was...frustrated, to say the least. His brows remained furrowed as they did when we were on the ski lift and in spite of my anger towards him, I could not discard my rose-tinted glasses. Mr. Hart's someone I yearn for, and even though he's being a complete ass about this whole thing right now, I can't help but remind myself why I started doing what I did to get to him.
`We're not done talking about this,' he huffed.
I rolled my eyes, `Get a grip, Mr. Hart. You really wanna discuss this here? Somewhere literally anybody could hear?'
Removing myself from his grip, I proceeded to back away and straighten my posture.
In this, you have to admit that I was the one with sense because anybody with a brain would understand why talking about shit like this wouldn't fly in public. Especially when you consider the people around you are people who actually know who you are. Sure, I'd be looked at differently, but Mr. Hart would be ridiculed. Dad would do more than cut ties with him, and no, it really isn't an unrealistic assumption.
Mr. Hart took a deep breath and subtly looked around upon hearing my words.
You're right,' he nodded. But this conversation is not over, Archie.'
`Sure, whatever, I scoffed.
`Don't take that tone with me, Archibald.'
Under any other circumstance, this conversation would give me ideas of some fantasies because of the firmness of his voice. Dominant. Yum.
`What are you, my dad?'
Frustration etched itself into his features even further and I could feel how irritated he was with me.
Just get off my back, Mr. Hart,' I glared. We can drop this whole thing and act like nothing ever happened.'
I didn't mean a single word. A small part of me did, I guess, but as a whole? Not really, no. I couldn't just go on with life without acknowledging the fact that we did what we did--what I did, specifically. No way that was going to happen regardless of what Mr. Hart felt. I've got my priorities in order.
Archibald, watch it,' he warned. I'm still--.'
`Sorry for the wait!' Amanda said as she jogged towards us with Julian.
Saved by my brother and best friend. Finally, some people are doing things right.
`You two ready?' Julian asked.
I headed to his side and nodded, `Yeah, but can you help me with the skis?'
Julian nodded and brought me over to a nearby bench under a tent to help me put on my ski boots and grab a bottle of water.
He made small talk, which, as usual, I wasn't really paying attention to because of Mr. Hart. One good thing, though, was that the irritated feeling was definitely mutual because he didn't join us. Instead, he was out in the snow with Amanda, chatting about God knows what.
I then felt a slap on my calf and saw Julian looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
`What?'
`I said, do you want me to go with you?'
`Go where?'
He clicked his tongue, `Skiing, duh.'
`You're already here.'
`No, brat, I meant like going down with you.'
`Oh.'
Julian laughed at my initial confusion and I joined in with a tiny chuckle.
Yeah, sure,' I smiled as I got up. But nothing too crazy.'
My brother gave me a small pat on the back and led me out of the tent, `Promise.'
As we headed (I more so waddled) towards a not-so-crazy slope, a voice called out Julian's name, and unfortunately, it was a voice that I started to dread hearing.
Mr. Hart?' Julian turned around, and I did as well. I thought you were off with Amada already.'
He shook his head, not once looking at me, `She made friends with some of the employees and they're skiing together.'
I am going to kill Amanda.
`Ah, do you want to come with us then?'
And Julian.
Mr. Hart paused for a slight moment before nodding, and the three of us headed to the slope, which wasn't far at all from the tent. That's good, at least. Means I'll have a place to run off to if I no longer feel like skiing, or, you know, living.
Looking at the area, I could see people--the employees--having the time of their lives, enjoying every second and bit of the company retreat. I truly wished that I could join them in their happiness but that felt impossible at this moment because of him. Because of Mr. Hart. My attempt at distancing myself from him at the moment proved futile the moment Amanda decided to ditch him, and by extension, me.
The universe really said `You wanted him so badly? Here, damn'.
We reached a fairly empty spot and Julian helped me start. He taught me simple steps and how to navigate. It was fairly simple, but to be fair, a child could do this.
After a few more minutes and one too many moments of hand holding with Julian so I wouldn't fall, Julian believed I was ready to actually go down the slope myself.
Mr. Hart was already doing his thing, and I was grateful for that because I really didn't need him to see me holding onto Julian for dear life. I've already embarrassed myself in front of him, I'd rather avoid any similar situations in the future, thank you very much.
As I skied for the first time ever, alone, I was genuinely proud of myself. I know it's a tiny slope, but I will, without hesitation, take my victories where I can. Things were going quite well, and Julian was cheering me on like the supportive big brother that he's always been. Unfortunately, the universe decided to say `fuck you' to me again and give me another push, literally.
I fell sideways, and under any other circumstance, I'd be relieved that I fell sideways, but because I was skiing, I wished things would've gone differently because the fall hurt like a bitch. The pace of the fall made it seem like I was in an old movie, slow motion and all. My ankle twisted painfully as I stumbled and hit the ground. The only thing I could be thankful for was the softness of the snow, but to be honest, even that was quite difficult due to the pain I was experiencing.
Listen, I was an active kid growing up, and even now, I'm pretty active in sports like volleyball, tennis, and track. I've had sport-related injuries throughout my life and a lot of the times, they've never really bothered me so believe me when I say that this pain was different. It was so painful that I couldn't even scream. I remained on the snowy ground as I clutched my boot-covered foot.
Everything was a blur and my ears were ringing, but I could see Julian making his way towards me.
And so was he. Mr Hart.
`Up you go now,' Julian said, a hint of amusement in his tone which I did not appreciate.
I didn't say anything in response. My hands kept to where they were before and I shut my eyes close, trying to deal with the pain.
`Come on now, Archie,' Julian repeated.
I shook my head and summoned my voice, `It hurts.'
`Can you sit up?' Mr. Hart asked.
I nodded and even before opening my eyes, I could feel his hands on me. He gave me support as I switched to an upright position, my leg stretched in front of me.
`How bad?' Julian asked, his tone making a 180 as he sounded serious and worried.
`It feels sprained.'
Mr. Hart looked at Julian and exchanged a few words with him. Ones I could not hear because my mind was so focused on the pain.
I was so occupied with the pain that it took me getting carried to notice that my ass was no longer cold from the snow. Mr. Hart carried me bridal style and was quickly heading towards the tent with Julian right behind him, carrying our skis.
You're gonna be fine,' Mr. Hart gently said. We'll have that ankle checked.'
No words left my lips, but I managed to nod before entirely resting my head on his chest as he proceeded to bring me to the tent.
Once we arrived, he laid me on a bench while Julian went to inform the staff of my situation and that I needed medical assistance. Mr. Hart stayed by my side throughout the entire thing and after a few minutes of waiting, I was taken into a nearby doctor's office and got checked. Now that I'm describing the whole ordeal, it really does seem a bit over the top, like my leg got cut off or something.
Dad, Julian, and Mr. Hart were all with me after I was examined by the doctor. An x-ray was taken and we were told to wait. Of course, Dad was fussing as he usually does. No surprise there.
Julian,' he glared at my brother. Why didn't you take him to the easier slope?'
`I did!' Julian's eyes went wide.
I laughed at the interaction despite being in pain. Let it be known from this day forth that I, Archibald Thompson, managed to sprain my ankle while doing a beginner's ski run.
The doctor returned and explained the specifics to us, and I thought I was going crazy.
`You're joking,' I said.
He shook his head, `Afraid not. It's a lateral malleolus fracture.'
Great, I didn't just sprain it. I broke it, whatever the hell IT is.
The doctor then explained how I was going to need to wear a walking boot and all that. No surgery, though, because according to him, it's not all that bad, thankfully.
As the doctor left, I let out a huge sigh, to which Julian responded by placing a hand on my shoulder, `I'm sorry, Archie.'
I shook my head, `No, not your fault.'
He apologized again anyway and afterwards, I was good to go and we left the facility to return to the ryokan, where I would spend the remainder of this trip because of my ankle.
(Insert sad trombone sounds again)
`You sure you don't want me to stay?' Dad asked as he stroked my hair.
For the last time, Dad, I'm fine,' I replied. Besides, it wouldn't be nice for the boss to be MIA from the whole thing.'
He chuckled and ruffled my hair a bit before brushing it back, `You're starting to sound just like me.'
Dad gave me one last smile before leaving, but not before telling me--again--to call him if I needed anything.
Julian, however, didn't follow Dad and stayed back for a while. He looked at me apologetically and I knew he felt awful even though I told him what happened wasn't his fault at all.
`I can stay, you know?'
`Not you,too, Julian. Please.'
He sighed, `At least let me call Amanda?'
What you can do,' I rolled my eyes, is, tell Amanda to go die in a hole.'
Julian's eyebrows shot up when I said that. Obviously I didn't mean it, and Amanda and I have been saying shit like this to each other ever since I met her, so it's really not a big deal. However, I can definitely see how and why it wouldn't translate well to some people, and in this case, Julian.
`Kidding, kidding,' I reassured.
`Seriously, though, I can go get her.'
It's fine, Julian. Let Amanda enjoy the trip,' I said. At least somebody gets to enjoy the trip.'
`Call if--.'
`--You need anything. Yes, mother, I will,' I interjected.
He gave me a good-natured roll of the eyes before getting up to leave.
Once I was alone, I started to scroll through my phone and social media, because that's what you do when you're on bed-rest in a foreign country.
I was bored out of my mind and it hadn't even been two hours yet. I was ready to risk it all and get out of this room, but then again, I wouldn't really be able to do anything, and Dad would freak if he knew I wasn't in bed. He'd probably give me another broken ankle and I wouldn't even be surprised.
From texting a few friends from back home to reading books that I haven't gotten to, I did everything I possibly could to keep my mind off of both the boredom and pain. I tried to take a nap but I couldn't. Not that tired, I guess.
As I did all these things to kill time, I started to think about Mr. Hart and how he carried me. It probably wasn't even a big deal to him, but it was to me. We had just argued a few minutes before that and there he was, at my aid when I needed it. The man even stayed by my side when I was at the doctor's office. I honestly felt the guilt creeping in and it made me physically ill, like my stomach felt weird.
I understand why he felt the need to make things very clear with me, but I just couldn't ignore his hypocrisy. Do I think he's a bad person? I wouldn't say so, no, but at the end of the day, what matters is what he's done for me. Not once was he ever rude or unkind to me, and with each passing moment, I felt worse because of my display of my unwarranted attitude. Well, maybe somewhat warranted but you get the point.
Maybe I should actually attempt an apology next time I see him. He deserves that, at the very least.
Three gentle knocks on the door caught my attention. I assumed it was either my brother or dad--or even Amanda, if she even knows what the hell happened to me.
A tiny part of me hoped that Mr. Hart would be the one behind the door, and I know it wouldn't make any sense for him to go out of his way to be alone with me, but a guy can dream.
`Come in,' I said.
The door slid slightly open and a room attendant poked her head in, asking me if I needed anything.
Classic Dad. Of course he had to send someone to check on me.
I told the attendant that I was fine and she nodded before coming in to place a tray of snacks and a few bottles of water next to me. I thanked her as she got up to leave, but somebody else made their way to the entrance of the room, almost bumping into her.
`Oh, I'm sorry.'
My heart stopped for a short while before it started to beat rapidly. It was Mr. Hart.
The attendant told him that she was just there to check on me and give me some snacks and excused herself.
Once she left, I felt the need to get up, but then I remembered my injury and why I was stuck here in the first place. So instead, I moved to an upright position, making myself as comfortable as I could.
`Mr. Hart,' I said, not knowing what else to say to follow it up.
He took off his boots and set them aside before walking in while taking off his jacket. I could never deny the fact that is how sexy he looked. Especially now.
`Just came by to check on you,' he said, putting his jacket on a chair.
Okay, he came by to check on me. I should start apologizing now. But wouldn't that make it awkward? Would he just leave? But he just got here and he took off his boots and jacket! What if he leaves out of discomfort? Shit, I can't think straight.
`Mr. Hart, I...'
`How're you feeling, Archie?' he interrupted, facing me.
When I looked at his face, I saw no irritation, resentment, or anger. Just worry.
`Well, my ankle's busted,' I replied jokingly.
That got a smile out of him and unsurprisingly, seeing it made me feel at ease. Mr. Hart just has that effect on me. Has always had it ever since I first laid eyes upon him. It only grew stronger once I got to know him.
He got on the ground and sat cross-legged beside me. A bit too close, I thought, but I've always been a bit of an overthinker, so I gave it no mind.
`You're done for the day?' I asked. A valid question considering it was only 2.30 p.m.
Yeah,' he nodded. Too cold for me.'
I gave him a soft smile. Too cold, my ass. He could've gone anywhere else. The cafe, the lounge, literally anywhere that is warm, but he's here. With me.
`Dad knows you're here?'
His eyes went elsewhere, away from me, but he gave me another nod.
`He told you to check on me, too?'
Mr. Hart had his eyes focused on me again, `No. I wanted to check on you myself, but Owen knows.'
I nodded and leaned back a bit, resting my head and back on the stack of pillows.
Besides,' he continued. Somebody has to keep an eye on you.'
I whipped my head towards him and like before when he entered the room, my body became rigid.
Just like what he said when we were at the airport.
`Mr. Hart, I'm sorry for what I did,' I blurted out in spite of the teasing smile plastered on his face, which quickly vanished when he heard my apology.
I continued regardless, `It was stupid. I was stupid. It's just that, I really, really like you and I thought maybe you felt the same way, but now that I think about it, there was literally no reason for you to be attracted to me. I was just being delusional, but I want you to know that I really am sorry.'
His eyes were wide open as my rapid fire speech was blurted. Even I was shocked by myself.
I meant what I said, truly. I felt the need to apologize to him because I did cross a line and made him feel uncomfortable. That much was clear, no doubt. However, I cannot say that I regret my feelings because I simply do not.
Whatever Mr. Hart may feel about it, it doesn't at all discount my feelings. They were valid, yes, but I needed to instill the fact in my dumbass that Mr. Hart's feelings are valid as well.
My breathing had become labored after my apology and I could see that Mr. Hart was still stunned. I didn't know what to do. I only hope that he's not too disgusted with me.
`Mr. Hart, please don't hate me.'
Pathetic, I know.
He held a hand up before I could say anything else.
`Archie, calm down.'
Placing his hand on my shoulder, he moved his thumb in swipes as an attempt to keep me calm.
I was anything but calm because he knew how I felt about him, so he really shouldn't be touching me at all.
Not the time to get hard. Totally not the time to get hard!
`Thank you for apologizing,' he smiled before retracting his hand, which allowed a wave of relief to wash over me.
Things got pretty quiet after that. For a short while, we were looking at each other without saying anything, and because of that, I looked away and started to fidget with my fingers. I'm assuming he did the same. The moment felt absolutely tortuous and I wanted him to leave, however difficult it may be to believe.
I heard Mr. Hart sucking in a deep breath like he was ready to speak, to say something, and sure enough, he did.
Archie,' he started. What you told me on the ski lift, can you promise to keep quiet about that?'
I didn't look at him, not because I still felt awkward, but because I sort of felt betrayed. Sad, even. I know my emotions right now seem a bit melodramatic, but I couldn't help it. A million thoughts crossed my mind as soon as I heard him say those words. Did he only come here to ask me to not speak of his infidelity? Was I not trustworthy enough? Did he ever truly care for me? At this point, I really have no idea.
Mr. Hart,' I said steadily, keeping my emotions in check. When I slept over at your house and when I went downstairs to the kitchen...were you talking to her?'
He knew exactly who I was talking about. The expression on his face told me everything.
Mr. Hart nodded.
`Does Alicia really know?'
He leaned back, resting his palms on the floor to keep him steady as a familiar weariness etched itself on his face.
`She might, might not.'
With a sigh, he added, `She probably does, but she knows not to say anything because she's been getting awfully chummy with one of her instructors.'
Well, damn. Maybe I don't really need to feel sorry for Alicia now.
All this while, I've been feeling guilty for doing what I've done. Although I acted on my wants, I still felt a twinge of guilt every time did something to get to Mr. Hart, but, now? Fuck all that. They might still be married, but clearly nothing's going on there anymore. He's basically free real estate.
A moment of silence passed us once again and Mr. Hart spoke up after a while, `I hope we're okay now, Archie.'
Physically? I am not, but mentally? Oh, I'm getting there.
`I guess we are,' I responded.
`But is it okay if I ask you something else, Mr. Hart?' I added.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, `Shoot.'
Go for it, Archie.
`What were you doing in the guest restroom the other day?'
Mr. Hart froze and I gulped, suddenly not headed to cloud nine anymore.
Way to fuck it up, I thought, but there's no turning back now. This could either end really badly or literally any other way. I'm hoping for the latter because I've gone through multiple disappointments over the span of a few days. Come on, universe, compensate for my broken ankle.
`Where are you going with this, Archie?' he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
You took a long time and it sounded weird,' I answered. I'm just curious why you'd do something like that at someone's house.'
God damn, I'm a hypocrite. Just as bad as him, I reckon.
Also, I really should work on my word choice because one day, I'm going to get my ass beat for saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
Mr. Hart stayed silent as he continued to massage the back of his neck. I could tell that he was having a hard time with this and honestly, can't really blame the man. I am being very difficult, after all.
I'm sorry,' he said. That was inappropriate.'
Well, no shit, but I at least expected him to give some sort of defense, and just like when I accused him of cheating on Alicia, he didn't even try to deny it.
`I was on a video call,' he admitted.
Okay, normally I would want to hear about the details, but I was going to pass this time, because my ankle is busted and I'm tired. Thankfully, he didn't care to elaborate.
`I hope you can forgive me,' he added.
I felt bad, so I nodded and reached out to place a gentle palm on his knee against my better judgment.
`It's okay.'
`You must think less of me now.'
True-ish. Not going to lie here. Doesn't mean I'm not still obsessed with him, though.
I shook my head, doing my best to comfort him, `Not at all.'
He held my gaze and a tiny smile tugged at his lips, and I reacted by smiling back at him.
`Mr. Hart, do YOU think less of me now?'
My own smile faded as I adopted a more serious tone upon asking him the question.
He didn't tear his gaze away from me, but instead, covered my hand on his knee with his own.
No, Archie,' he sighed. But I am confused.'
`Of what?'
`Come on, Archie. You know. You came on to me. Why?'
I wanted to laugh. `Why?' The fuck was that? Has he seen himself?
I like you, Mr. Hart,' I said, plainly. I'm sure that's enough for an answer.'
He sighed again and tilted his head back, `Archie, no.'
`I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not gonna apologize for liking you.'
He pushed forward and looked at me with a frustrated and confused expression.
I needed to finish this. This phase, I mean. It's been going on for too long and I'm tired of dragging it out. I'm not getting any younger and the same goes for him.
Fifteen minutes to 3 p.m. I've still got a lot of time.
Time, energy, and most importantly, determination.
You know what, universe? This broken ankle just might be a blessing.
To be continued...