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Boy on a Mission Chapter 7
Day 2 of not speaking to Mr. Hart, and I feel like I'm dying. Not even being dramatic this time because I feel awful. Over the past couple days, I've been thinking, why am I feeling guilty all of a sudden? I wanted this. I pursued this and I got it. All should be well, no? Well, no. Clearly, since I've been fucking moping ever since the incident. I haven't done much since then and yes, I know it's only been a short while but considering where I am, I should be having loads of things to do. I just didn't feel like it and I still don't.
Unfortunately, Dad had other plans for me today as it's the second day of the company retreat. Did I have any say in it? Of course not. Not with both Julian and Amanda dragging me along.
Archie, come on,' Dad rushed. We're gonna be late!'
I groaned as I begrudgingly put on my boots, `Dad, you're the CEO. Isn't it normal for people like you to be late?'
None of that now, son,' he threw my maroon beanie at me. It's not good to be late.'
Sure. He's the boss, after all. Literally.
Dad was in our room as we got ready as he himself had been ready about half an hour ago. Mr. Hart had left their room, too, to head over to the ski area. My heart ached at the thought of him purposely going out of his way to avoid me. I mean, who can blame the guy? I manhandled him--even though he liked it--and continued to do so despite his verbal rejections.
Damn, I just really want to see him and apologize. No funny business this time. Just genuinely apologize for my actions led by my horniness...but that's easier said than done. I talked big last time and look where it got me. Miserable and avoided by my crush.
`Dad, should I even go? I don't think your employees would appreciate the boss' son taking up everybody's time and ruining their fun.'
Okay, obviously I was just trying to save myself the trouble and not go because I couldn't really think about actually facing Mr. Hart. I'd be a mess. I was already a mess when we were alone together. Imagine how I'd be when we actually see each other later with him still being mad at me! Absolutely not.
Putting on his gloves, Julian answered for Dad, `Hey, I'll be there.'
`Yeah but you literally work at the company.'
Same difference,' he waved. Besides, you've never been skiing. This'll be fun!'
Yeah, right. Fun.
Listen, if you like skiing, good for you. More power to you, honestly, but I just don't see myself doing it. Never did. I have friends who have gotten in accidents and none of their injuries were pretty. If it was a scratch, yeah sure, maybe, but they've broken their ankles and shit. I was never down for skiing because of stuff like that. Besides, Julian is half right. I've never gone skiing before, which is why I'm worried that my leg will come flying off or something, God forbid.
`Where's Amanda, by the way?' Julian asked.
Probably there already,' I answered. She wanted to video call her mom and show her the view.'
`We should head out now, too,' Dad headed towards the door and Julian and I followed, with me letting out a very, very long sigh.
In spite of my persistent action to stay indoors and sulk, I must say, the view is absolutely gorgeous. You don't get this kind of view back home. However, I was already freezing the moment I got out here, which makes me wonder if the view is actually worth it or not. I got a good look at it and yes, I think I'm ready to head back in now.
Clearly, I wasn't actually able to because Dad started his speech thing and I had to stay to hear it. As usual, plenty of his employees made small talk with me but I wasn't really present in the conversations that we had because I was, after all, out of it. That was short-lived, though, because my eyes landed on Mr. Hart, who was talking to Dad a bit after Dad finished.
I could see him smiling...that's good. I'd hate to think that he'd be too upset with me to a point where he wouldn't be able to have fun. So, it was super nice to see his handsome smile even though it wasn't as bright as usual. He did look a little bit tired. I can only hope it's not because of me.
Unless it was due to him thinking of me fondly causing him to sleep late...which I doubt. Well, a guy can dream.
A few minutes passed and we were all mingling, some even scattered to go skiing, which I thought was great because that meant it wasn't really a everybody has to do this!' sort of thing. My happiness died down too soon when Dad pulled me towards him and said, Let's go!'
He didn't say skiing but it was obvious even without the word being said. No way for me to get out of this now. Maybe I can convince him to let me do a tiny slope or something, or maybe I can just put on the skis and shuffle to make it seem like I'm actually doing something.
`Don't even think about chickening out,' Julian whispered in my ear.
I jolted and gasped, `What the hell, man!'
He laughed and patted my cheek with his gloved hand, `Come on, it'll be fun!'
`Julian, please, you know I don't wanna.'
`Aw, don't be a big baby, Archie. It'll be fine.'
I grumbled profanities under my breath and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow. There was no way for me to not get out of this. That's one of many things my family is known for: being pushy as hell...as you might have been able to tell from my encounter with Mr. Hart a couple days ago.
`Fine but you go with me so I don't break my neck or something.'
Again, he let out a laugh. A louder one this time, `You're so dramatic for no reason.'
`But no can do, kiddo. I'm going with Amanda,' he added.
What the hell?
`You're joking.'
He shook his head and gestured at Amanda who was waiting patiently by the ski lift area. Upon seeing me, she smiled and waved.
`Wow, abandoning your little brother when he needs you the most,' I push his shoulder.
`Relax, Archie. Amanda and I wanna ski down a higher slope and I knew you wouldn't want to,' he explained, pulling me in for a side hug.
`Dad's already gone, Julian, I can't just--.'
`You kids headed up, too?'
I snickered. Julian, a kid? More like a dinosaur.
Wait.
I turned around and choked. My knees felt weak and I felt lightheaded...again. It was Mr. Hart.
Okay, panic time, and absolutely warranted panic time. I didn't expect to see him right now or even for a few more days actually because, well, duh. Now he's here. Great. What do I do? Who knows, because I sure as hell don't.
Suddenly, the idea of going skiing from the highest point doesn't seem so scary anymore. I should go with Julian and Amanda now.
Yeah,' Julian replied, his arm still over my shoulder. You headed there, too, Mr. Hart?'
`Yup.'
Okay, nevermind. I'll stay where I am.
Everything happened so quickly and I didn't even realize that my legs had moved on their own, bringing me to the ski lift area where Amanda was waiting.
Julian and Mr. Hart were in conversation but I honestly have no idea what they were talking about because of him, because of Mr. Hart. Why was he here? I mean, there's an obvious answer to that but like, why is he HERE? With us, I mean. He could have literally gone anywhere else. With the employees, with Dad, with anybody, really, as long as it wasn't me he was with, but alas, here he was, looking fine as ever but that meant nothing to me due to my current state.
`Archie!' Amanda whispered sharply, her hand gripping my shoulder. I turned to look at her, finally noticing how heavy my breathing was.
`You okay?' she asked.
`Uh, yeah, totally.'
Right,' she rolled her eyes. Spill.'
I think the fuck not. Especially since the issue is literally two feet away from me.
Taking a couple deep, silent breaths, I glanced over at Mr. Hart and saw that he was still speaking to Julian. He was smiling and seemed happy, like he was when he spoke to Dad just now, but this time, his smile reached his eyes and didn't look as weary as it did before. A bit confused, I turned back to Amanda to say something, anything, but all of a sudden, she let out a whispered curse.
`You good?' I asked, like how she asked me.
`Yeah but I need to go to the bathroom.'
Julian heard and said, `Go on then. I'll wait for you.'
`Archie, you should head up with Mr. Hart first.'
Oh no. No, no, no. No, thank you.
I let out an extremely strained chuckle as I scratched my temple, `We should go together, don't you think?'
Please agree, Julian. Do not disappoint me.
`Yeah but I'm afraid I'll take a while,' Amanda explained.
Great job, Amanda. So much for `I can read my bestie like a book!'
`Yeah, so you two should go on ahead,' Julian added.
Jesus, these two are the absolute worst.
And just like that, they were gone. Well, not completely since I could still see Julian waiting in front of the restroom for Amanda to finish.
The fact that I was with Mr. Hart didn't sit right with me because of obvious reasons. I was a complete mess--AM a complete mess--and I didn't need him to be here as a reminder of the shit that I pulled at the onsen with him. Of course, at the time it seemed like the best idea ever but once we were done and he gave me that look that has been ingrained in my mind and soul, you can understand why I wouldn't want to be alone with him.
`Let's go,' he said, giving me a slight pat on the shoulder, to which I jolted a bit.
His touch, although gloved, didn't feel different from the previous times. It felt warm and welcoming, but my mind was telling me otherwise even though my body disagreed.
Mr. Hart and I hopped on the ski lift and remained seated as it moved upward. There was a lot of noise surrounding the area from the employees having fun, but being with Mr. Hart in this moment made everything feel eerily silent like the whole world had stopped and it was just the two of us.
Neither he nor I spoke for the first three minutes of the ride and it was awful. I felt every single muscle of my body become increasingly strained by the minute. I was about ready to jump off this damn ski lift, honest to God.
`Archie,' he spoke.
If my whole body wasn't rigid before, it is now. I felt as if I moved an inch, the whole area could hear the pops and cracks of my joints.
I forced myself to not face him, keeping my eyes on the lovely view of the snow covered field, as I responded, `Yeah, Mr. Hart?'
I gulped after the words left me. My voice was cracked and strained and I have never felt so nervous as I am at this moment. I just wanted to get off the damn ski lift and ski down the slope, however high it may be, ankles be damned.
Apparently, me not looking at him wasn't really a problem for him since he continues, `We need to talk about what happened that night.'
Wonderful, just what my sorry ass needed.
Yes, yes, I know I said I wanted to apologize to him and that would entail bringing up the subject matter, but I wasn't ready for it to actually happen right now, alright?
I remained quiet, not giving him any sort of acknowledgement but at the same time, not truly stopping him from continuing. I knew, regardless of what I felt or wanted, he was going to say his piece and I was going to have to listen.
Mr. Hart went quiet for a few seconds before sighing, and in spite of my gaze belonging elsewhere, I could see the smoke emanating from his breath due to the cold air, `Archie, what you--what WE did was wrong.'
No shit.
I guess my silence was becoming more and more irritating because he called my name again, tone firmer this time, `Archie, are you listening to me?'
I simply nodded. The fuck did he want me to say? `Oh dear, thousand apologies, sir! I'll even submit a formal apology in pdf to you by lunchtime!' Jesus. Like, I know I'm being a bitch about this especially considering the fact that I'm the one who caused this mess, but fuck, let me breathe.
`You need to promise me that you won't do anything like that again, Archie.'
Now, I am many things, but I am not a liar. Sure, I've had my fair share of white lies here and there but when it comes to something so important? Something so big? I would not lie. At most I'd work my way around a question to get to an eventual truth, but to lie about something I'm so passionate about? Screw that.
Archie,' he called, his irritation apparent in his tone. I'm speaking to you.'
`I don't wanna lie.'
`Are you serious?' he said in disbelief.
`Would you prefer it if I lied, Mr. Hart?' I replied, my elbows on the lap bar as I looked at the ground, which was far away from us at this point.
`No, but you need to know that it was wrong, son!'
`Then why did I catch you kissing someone who clearly wasn't Alicia?'
Holy fuck, why did I just say that?!
Whatever hope I had...whatever I thought was going to happen between us, yeah, all that just went down the drain because of what my smartass decided to say.
He went quiet and so did I, but after what felt like hours, I slowly turned to face him as I immediately felt every single thing I've learned ever since I was a kid, come up in my mind. I was out of line and every time I was and my dad was there, he'd call me out and correct me. Guess he did well in that aspect, too, since I'm calling myself out when he's not around to do it for me.
Once I faced him, I was met with wide eyes and a slightly agape mouth. His brows were furrowed, further enhancing his stunned expression.
`Mr. Hart, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--.'
`What're you talking about?' he interrupted.
I gulped, `I saw you when I was on my way back home one time...It wasn't recent, so...'
To my surprise, he didn't get angrier, or irritated. He just leaned back in his seat and sighed. I did the same, minus the sighing, and fiddled around with my gloved fingers as my anxiety grew more immense. I didn't even dare to look at him after that.
You know what? Maybe I SHOULD jump off now.
`My wife and I have been having troubles,' he spoke quietly.
I didn't reply, but like before, it was sort of an invitation for him to continue. Honestly, I was eager to see where this would go. It was really surprising how he didn't even try to deny my accusation.
`She probably even knows about the woman you saw.'
Probably?' I chuckled humorlessly. So she PROBABLY doesn't even know, either.'
Mr. Hart didn't respond to that. Not verbally, at least, because at the corner of my eye, I saw that his fists were clenched and even though he was wearing gloves, I could tell that what I said had stung him.
`Why not just get a divorce?' I said without thinking, again.
He sighed, `Too much work, so we decided to let it be.'
`Too much work? For someone rich like you?' I asked, not buying the bullshit he just spewed.
Somehow he found it amusing and glanced at me with a tired smile, `ESPECIALLY for someone rich like me.'
Huh, never expected that.
So Mr. Hart and Alicia are having marital issues to a point where he thought it'd be okay to cheat, but not too serious to actually get a divorce. In a way, it really did make sense to me, like, you have this picture perfect thing going on that's displayed to the public, but at the same time, that's all that it is, displayed to the public. What they could achieve by divorcing one another would just be another tiring section of workload that's too be added to their already busy schedule. So, I guess it makes sense. Doesn't sit right with me, though, because if it were me, I'd just be done with it. I'd want the ideal and the ideal should be internal and external. Not that I care about what other people think, but it matters a lot to me.
After another moment of silence settled in, I decided to break it, `So why would what we did be wrong?'
Maybe I could gain something from this. He didn't explicitly say that he and Alicia were unhappy, but saying that they're having troubles pretty much drew the whole picture for me. He was already doing something wrong and I guess he acknowledged it in some way. Might as well indulge in it. What's the point of doing it but regretting it, which I don't think he is.
`Because you're Owen's son,' he said plainly.
He remained looking at me while my eyes were glued to my feet, hanging from the ski lift. `If I wasn't his son?'
`Wouldn't make a difference. You're way too young.'
I clicked my tongue, annoyed, `I'm literally turning 19 in--.'
`That doesn't matter, Archie.'
`Then what the fuck does?!' I snapped and whirled on him, my voice louder than I intended it to be.
His eyes went wide again as he scanned my seated figure, a hint of worry in his eyes.
`Archie, I...'
`You keep saying that it's wrong and whatever but you didn't stop, too,' I huffed.
He tore his gaze from me for a moment before looking at me once again, a sad expression glued to his handsome face.
Before he could even utter anything else, we arrived at our destination and hopped off the ski lift. I didn't say anything or even look at him as I walked away. Well, more like stomping away like a five year old, but you get the point.
Regardless of how dumb I looked walking away, one thing was clear: I was extremely pissed at Mr. Hart and his hypocrisy. Like, damn, be honest with yourself. Not even for me, but for himself.
However, I knew that we were going to have to continue this conversation sooner or later, and when we do, I will actually give him a piece of my mind. Delusional, I know, but so is he at this point. Trying to act like what we did is all on me, please. Even thinking about it, replaying the scene on the ski lift, got me mad and yes, I think it is absolutely warranted.
We're not even halfway into the trip yet and it already sucks ass because of what happened, which I am partly to balance for, obviously. My mission went well--in a way--but it's not complete yet. Of course, not.
Mr. Hart can feel whatever he wants to but one thing's for sure, I was going to--
`Archie.'
The amount of cut offs today are absolutely insane, it's not even funny. Can't even breathe or think on this trip. Jeez.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, gripping it lightly, and I could tell who it was. There was no doubt in my mind, and after turning around, I wasn't surprised to see him as he caught up to me, seemingly wanting to continue our conversation sooner rather than later.
His brows were still furrowed and his gaze was somewhat intense as he searched for the words to say to me.
It better be worth it, whatever he's planning to say, because the status and success of my mission depends on it.
Let's see what excuse you're going to pull out of your ass now, Mr. Hart.
To be continued...